| Tillie | Posted: 19 May 2014 - 09:54 AM |
Lets see if a new thread will help solve some of the posting issues we have developed in the first, long running thread 😀 | |
Replies (2007)
| diane | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 03:37 PM |
ianne I am so grateful that you updated us, I have missed you and knew you were getting help, so great that you have so much done now, amazing actually. So great you are not buried in your treasures now and your daughter must be so proud of her home now. thanks for letting us know | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 12:16 PM |
What a lovely post, Dianne, and congratulations on you successes. You need to know that reading through your past posts, I feel close to you. Your words are serving as an inspiration for me. So glad to finally "meet" you. Thank you. | |
| Dianne | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 11:49 AM |
Hello Bitsy, My name is Dianne and I was a regular poster here for a year and a half. I had to tend to real life issues with family and just stopped by for a *quick check-in*. Rather than do a post in that thread I decided to catch up on *daily chat* and felt your exhaustion and pain. Please know that most, if not all, posters have been where you are in terms of overwhelm. They, me, may look like we are forging ahead and dealing well with the problems that come along. There were periods of time I was so depressed that reading of others' progress made me feel worse, like why can't I be that strong? Then I wouldn't want to post and be *Debbie Downer*. And sometimes I was the strong one making headway and felt a little bad posting my successes thinking what if this makes someone else feel inadequate? It's so human to compare ourselves to others and come up short. Especially when we are already feeling down. At times when we are called upon to take care of others, like I was, like you are now, it's vital to use our energy well. Mental, emotional and spiritual as well as physical. For me that meant admitting my physical limitations and having to set some limits on what I could or couldn't do. That meant asking for help and trusting that some things could be handled just as well (even better) without me. I also needed to think ahead a bit about what I would eat and drink and be prepared so I wouldn't get caught exhausted and fueling with sugar and caffeine. I needed to adhere to a bedtime ritual to encourage sleep. I needed some deep breaths of fresh air ~ not even a walk ~ just step outside and breathe. Mentally and emotionally I had to avoid the computer and news. If it was of major importance I'd hear it sooner or later. But I couldn't let my energy be dissipated with negativity and ruminating. There was enough of negative consequence in my real life to deal with so the non-essential had to be eliminated. I had to be very strict with my thoughts. There's a time for crying and there's a time to stop. So damn hard for me to learn. Spiritually it was imperative to focus on what brought my heart and soul peace. I get that from a little solitude, some Bible verses, books, nature and animals. It is possible for all the stuff we have to do to be a blessing. Sometimes it literally forces us to choose what must, MUST be done. Make a list of *Bare Bone Basics* that you need to function in your life. From there you add what else you can reasonably do for yourself and taking care of responsibilities. It brought me to the realization that I will never get everything done on my own, as badly as I want to. That meant I finally needed to ask for help ~ not just online support which is great ~ but help in the real world. Most of it has been freely given which has been a tremendous blessing. A lot of it has been bartering ~ I have a vacation place that I can offer or I can bake casseroles and cookies for hungry hard-working, young guys. There has been lots of good stuff I won't use ~ yes, I am *buried in treasures* 🙂 ~ that people have taken and sold on ebay or used themselves. And of course sometimes I just had to pay hard cash. So with the exception of a couple of bedrooms I am now hoard free in my home. That's not to say hoard free in my mind. That's an ongoing compulsion that must be dealt with daily. You WILL get back with some semblance of control Bitsy. Be aware but don't look too far ahead with dread. Not just one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time or 5 minutes at a time. God bless ~~ Dianne | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 09:09 AM |
Bitsy, I am saddened by the news re your son and rd your health. First and foremost, please make sure you are eating well. Protein is very important right now. Also stay hydrated. I don't know your financial or living situation but if you have any opportunity to get help from neighborhood kids (just have them take the trash can out and back for you) you should do so. If that is not an option, I certainly understand. Please eat right. We all are pulling for you. | |
| bitsy | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 08:59 AM |
I am not able to keep going. .just barely. I have been going to hospital every day. Son still in hospital. It's 11 days since surgery, 18 days since he went in to the hospital. They finally took tube out of nose and he is able to eat, not in as much pain, but not up walking around. Yesterday I just felt like I should be in a nursing home. Reading your post this a.m. in tears. You all doing so well in spite of everything. and I don't know what to do. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 08:55 AM |
Good morning, everyone! I agree, LR, this community is crucial to my progress and success. Something has snapped for me. I'm not having emotional problems with getting rid of my stuff. I'm also not beating myself up for spending so much money on useless junk. While making a bag for goodwill yesterday, I included my Nancy Drew books (some from the 1930s and some from the 1960s -- as kids my mother wouldn't go to garage sales but occasionally she'd stop to see if they had Nancy Drews for me). I know they are now "worth something" (maybe $5 or $10 each) but my space is worth much more. I kept the two that meant the most to me and am on the lookout for the two others that i'd like to keep. I'm just going through and getting this stuff done. Am maintaining kitchen, laundry and living room. Have two gross jobs--one of which I mentioned previously The Dreaded Closet--that I am still trying to face. Will employ the good advice and steps giving by all of you here. I found you all at the right time. | |
| LR2014 | Posted: 18 August 2014 - 08:09 AM |
Good morning. Good to see those who were able to make it to chat last night. As I've read the posts from the past few days, I note how comforting, helpful, and healing it can be to share our struggles here. Barb had mentioned trying to post earlier in the week but not being able to. I wonder how many of our usual "posters" have been having the same problem; maybe some people whom we haven't "seen" lately have tried posting but couldn't. Just a thought. One of my goals for today is to spend at least 30 minutes cleaning out my vehicle and organizing things that are in it. I also plan to add to my gratitude list, spend at least twenty minutes on paperwork, and spend at least twenty minutes on cleaning/dejunking/organizing a certain area of my living room. Have a great day, everyone. | |
| diane | Posted: 17 August 2014 - 01:20 PM |
Tat and Whew, I teared up reading your posts this morning. It is so wonderful you truly understand the extent of what we are dealing with and what it takes to keep going, I truly appreciate your thoughtful kind posts, especially today. I do not usually post this early in the day, but needed your support so got online and see your great posts!!!! | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 17 August 2014 - 12:22 PM |
What a beautiful post, Whew. I got a lot out of it; thank you. | |
| whew! | Posted: 17 August 2014 - 11:20 AM |
Hi Diane (((HUGS))), I thought a lot about your post...and am amazed at how far you've come. And it gives me hope. From first seeing the problems to second beginning to sort through what is helpful and what is not to third being able to have workfolk come in to fourth being clear with yourself and with him. You've done great. The platitude "It didn't happen overnight, so it can't be fixed overnight" is true, however, with one big distinction. It will take much quicker to get through these problems we all have created than it took to get in the messes. It took me a lifetime to get to this place. While it might not be overnight, it won't take a lifetime either to get in a more satisfying space. My second thought is how quickly we beat ourselves up for not having the resources or the energy or the skills or the knowledge or the (fill in the blank). We are but human and we get to make mistakes and learn from them and try again. So again YAY YOU for staying in the game. Warm thoughts to you this day. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 17 August 2014 - 10:59 AM |
Good morning! I slept til 1030 today and then didn't get out of bed til 11. This is rare for me but I have been very very tired these days and question whether my blood levels/medications are where they should be. (I did get up to feed kitty at 6AM; hence my success in sleeping in). I thought about yesterday and how I accomplished nothing toward the hoarding situation. Guess what? It turns out that I DID address the hoarding situation in important ways: Sending everyone warm wishes for a lovely Sunday, with special wishes to all of us who need it most today. Thank you all for helping me to reclaim my life. | |
| diane | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 11:06 PM |
Thankyou Tat. I really feel touched that you took the time to understand my situation and comfort me. I feel better just knowing one person in the world understands how difficult hoarding has made my life, and how I feel tonight. It is clear that I have to get rid of more stuff, just a lot to deal with. Thanks Tat for your kindness. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 09:34 PM |
Sending you big hugs, Diane. I'm glad you stood up for yourself and I am glad he responded with kindness. I wish I had a way to help you. Somebody smart and thoughtful and kind once said "tomorrow is another day"....oh wait, I believe that YOU said that. I seem to remember you had some possible fun plans for tomorrow. I hope you feel well enough to enjoy yourself. And I hope the weather cooperates. It's been lovely and humidity free here in the East. Much easier to breathe, concentrate and feel alive when not so hot. Giant love to you and all of our friends here. | |
| diane | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 04:59 PM |
Thanks Tillie, you are right about sorting like items together. | |
| Karl | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 04:25 PM |
Yesterday morning I had an omelet -- usually I mix some milk in with the eggs (more volume and fluffier). The milk was still a day or two from its sell-by date, and it didn't smell bad -- but it seemed kind of borderline, like this might be the last chance. Often in that case I'll go ahead and use it anyway, figuring that it's not actually bad yet. But then I remembered Tillie's stories about Steven. So I poured it out and made the omelet without milk. If everyone has a purpose in life, maybe Steven's is to serve as a example to others. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 11:02 AM |
Diane One thing that may be keeping you from being able to accomplish more in the craft room is that the items are all in a jumble. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 10:44 AM |
Good morning 🙂 Hi Diane 🙂 Hi Tatoilia 🙂 Hi LR2014 🙂 Hi Barb 🙂 I have a pile of donations ready to drop off at the charity thrift shop. Hoping I can get that done today. TTYL 😀 | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 09:29 AM |
Glad to hear from you, Barb! Very pleased that the job is going well and you'll still have time to work on your place. I'm sure you will give your friend strength and comfort today. You do that for us here--despite being far away. Take good care of yourself. | |
| Barb | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 08:16 AM |
I posted early Wednesday morning but couldn't get it to stick. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 16 August 2014 - 07:25 AM |
Congratulations LR. You accomplished a lot yesterday! Very impressed, and inspired. Thank you for the chat room tip! After I give everything a little more thought, I am going to set a start date on the closet. I need only look at my kitchen to see what is possible. I have some disposable masks. Beautiful cool night on the East Coast. Fantastic sleeping weather last night. Wishing everyone a wonderful day. | |
| LR2014 | Posted: 15 August 2014 - 10:56 PM |
Happy Friday night. I hope there aren't glaring mistakes in this, because I'm getting too tired to proofread. It's been a busy day. Tatoulia, depending on what time of day you are free to work on that closet task, you might find people in the chat room who are ready/willing to give suggestions and encouragement. Glad to know you are taking time to eat some healthy meals and to have some fun, diane! Tillie, those cool temperatures sound really nice to me right now! Yesterday, I got a number of cleaning tasks done, and I got rid of yet another box of papers. (Well, I kept some photos that were in there, and a few papers that I want to scan.) Today, I rented an open-bed trailer and used it to do several tasks, including taking a couple of bulkier furniture items to a donation location. There is starting to be more free space (little by little) in my living room. (Yea!) I also loaded onto the trailer some large, dusty, had-been-stored storage tubs and washed them inside and out at a local do-it-yourself car wash. Once the tubs dry, I may use them to help organize some of the things that are in the back of my vehicle. Hugs to everyone. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 15 August 2014 - 09:41 PM |
Good evening everyone! Diane, what a great, productive day you had! I'm glad you have some fun things planned this weekend, esp after saying goodbye to the dog. Tillie, great idea for closet. I appreciate it. It sounds doable. The idea re tying hair up and having bug spray were thoughtful. The box/bag idea will also be useful. It hadn't occurred to me to set a timer. So far am just trying to visualize myself dealing with it. Hope to start on Sunday. I'm fearful. But I will feel free. Today I spent solid time with my financial planner and we made a good plan for getting my debt reduced. Debt has accrued in the last five years. I confided to him that I've recently discovered that I'm a hoarder and as I make my living space right, I'm prepared to rectify the damage I've fine to my credit. Apparently his father is a hoarder and so I told him that I'll give his father the entire contents of my storage spot for $350. We had a giant laugh over that. Tonight I shredded a bunch of papers from my files in my file drawers. Slow going (no sorting required, all papers are organized into labelled folders-- credit card statements, insurance, etc., going back as far as 2003). The shredding takes time! After I felt too weary to go on, I pulled out the vacuum and took care of any little shredded bits that made their way to the floor. Ran dishwasher and will unload in the AM. Need to wash face and get to bed. Keep up the good work everyone! Thank you for your help and support. Greatly appreciated. | |
| diane | Posted: 15 August 2014 - 08:38 PM |
Thanks Tillie and Tat. Tillie I finally spent the morning in craft room, thinking I would be as successful in there as was in big bedroom. Did get some progress then realized I was churning so decided until I am ready to really get rid of stuff I will never have it organized. Cant organize a hoard, I know. Then decided to work on some clutter in living room. Cleaned the end table with modem and phone on it. Then did some dusting. Doing the little table could see that I did a good job, see why you say to do one little area. Then back into craft room, used some vertical space. Probably total of 3 hours in craft room today. Improved slightly. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 15 August 2014 - 09:44 AM |
Hi 😀 Sort of cool here this morning. Temps in the 60s but should warm up to 90 later. Hi Diane 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 When this closet is finally reclaimed you will feel so light and happy to have this heavy weight off your shoulders. Hi Everybody else 😀 | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 14 August 2014 - 09:01 PM |
Congratulations on your accomplishments, Tillie, Diane and LR and to everyone else! I fell asleep after work today, just so tired. Woke up and took the garbage out. As I was cleaning the litter box and sweeping the floor, I realized something. I haven't touched the hallway closet. Truth be told, I pretend it doesn't exist. It is jammed with stuff and I think some insect creatures are living there so I ignore it. Completely. So while I'm busily doing Second Sweep of linen closet, bookshelves and library closet, I walk by that door everyday and just shudder. Ugh. I do not want to deal with it. I'm full of good excuses on it. I don't want to wake what's in there, I only want to do if it is garbage night (which tonight is so luckily I can extend the excuse to I want to wait til garbage night, just not THIS garbage night). Ugh. I'm grossed out at the thought. I need a plan. I have to come up with a plan. I've been maintaining my spaces by vacuuming, sweeping, laundry folded and put away, wiping kitchen counters and sink, but there it is: the awful hallway closet. I just feel that my progress is very fragile. I need to find a way to take care of this. I think everything in it has to be thrown out (which is good--no real decisions to make). I just have to do it. Find four hours and do it. Maybe I'll try to visualize having that space back. Any suggestions/advice welcome and appreciated. Meeting with my financial planner tomorrow. I've let my finances go to heck during the last five years. Getting the hoarding and clutter under control somehow has freed me to tackle other unpleasant tasks. Thank you all for being here. | |
| diane | Posted: 14 August 2014 - 06:06 PM |
Yes Tillie, these are the big red biting ants, I have proof of bites!! I was surprised how big they are. Tillie, I appreciate all the advice and support. You were with me this morning when I realized part of my depression was weather and part due to not eating enough healthy food during the weeks of temps in the 90's. So as you say, eat healthy, prepare in advance. This morning I washed dishes, made a big pot of soup, washed dishes, cleaned up. I put soup in 2 smaller pans for next two days. Ate soup for breakfast and lunch today. Will freeze the rest of the soup after it cools more in frig. I vacuumed the entire place, except where floor is buried. 1 load of laundry. Cleaned out a kitchen cabinet, had to throw away several bottles of vitamins that had expired. Filled med minders with calcium and vitamins to help me remember to take, since need to take daily for osteoporosis, and usually forget. Organized garden shed a little more, put some things away in there including pressure washer. Nellie left this morning, I miss her but used that to really get a lot done. Much nicer having a clean floor, dishes done, good food. Still have some clutter to put away out here. Nice to have lots of rain so I do not have to water, gives me more time to get inside things done. I have to go pick up Rx today, last day my doctor is working here, then Rx will be invalid, she is moving to Washington. I really need to take a shower and wash hair, but should just go now between rain showers. Thanks for posting all that you got done, helps me keep going and know there is hope. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 14 August 2014 - 11:30 AM |
Good morning everybody 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 Hi LR2014 🙂 Hi Diane 🙂 Nothing much happening around here today. TTYL 😀 | |
| LR2014 | Posted: 14 August 2014 - 11:06 AM |
Good morning. Wow, great work, diane and Tatoulia! Karl, I hope your Thursday event goes well. Following up on my goals from yesterday: I only got a little stuff unloaded from my vehicle (in part because of the heat) yesterday, but I did get the other listed goals done. (Yet another box bites the dust! Yea!) As is often the case lately, I got a lot of this work done with the help and encouragement of those who were on the chat. (Thanks.) I spent much more time yesterday on my financial paperwork than planned. Once I got started on it, I wanted to keep going. This morning, I got outside while it was still cool and worked on getting more things cleared out of my vehicle. Feel good about both of those things. Hugs to everybody. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 13 August 2014 - 08:25 PM |
Today is another day! You did a lot of work today, Diane. For me it was the first day back to work after having friend visit. Luckily I was able to work from home so the transition wasn't too difficult. I found time to do some more cleaning out of my library closet. Years ago I had California Closets come in and so it has beautiful shelves and filing cabinets for books, paper and china. At some point I can go thru filing drawers and probably reduce papers by 70%. Maybe I will do this weekend. Meanwhile I am maintaining. Wiping, vacuuming, etc. I am using the tips my friend gave me. I am finally at a point where someone off the street come in for a cup of tea. It's a fragile state. Could be gone, no exaggeration, in a week. I will maintain and continue to purge. Thanks for everyone's help. Have been reading other and older posts and am gaining strength. I'm creating a daily and weekly to do list. Wishing everyone a goodnight | |
| diane | Posted: 13 August 2014 - 07:06 PM |
Thanks everyone, today is a new day. Got up and worked in big bedroom for 2 hours, goat trail is now 2 feet wider. Had to see some progress today. Did all dishes. Threw away steamed spinach and a whole cooked chicken that were too old, wiped inside of fridge. Washed those pans. Gathered enough stuff to fill the garbage cart. Put donations in car. Cleaned up all the clutter in entrance from roofing. hung up all wet towels and rugs in walkway. Cleaned up some stuff on deck. | |