I took out a nice shirt that I wanted to wear for the household Asian New Year celebration, and discovered that it's missing two buttons. I guess that'll be my next mending task.

Hello All!

I did vacuum my bedroom yesterday and I do plan to put vacuum away today. Honestly, as I write this I think, what sort of plan do I think need to make? Got more snow today and I just finished shoveling out front. Boyfriend came over to help me.

Diane, you are doing a great job. If sorting and looking at the buttons is soothing, by all means do so. If you have them in jars or bags and they don't fill, say, half a room, then what's the harm? When I cleared out a lot of my vintage glass and dishes, I kept say two of these things and four of those things and let the rest go. So I have what I can use but no more. And as I break things, I let them go instantly. A chipped cup means GO, a broken that thing means GO. I don't get the sense that your button collection takes up square footage so please do with them what you wish. You aren't cheating. If you choose not to discuss it with your helpers then it's your call. If you feel comfortable saying my button jars are non-negotiable (at least for now) then you say it.

I am so impressed by your progress--actually everyone's progress! It feels good to accomplish. I de clogged my slow moving bathroom sink today and was ever so tempted to keep cleaning the bathroom. I need more rubber gloves--I am out and I cut my thumb yesterday and it bled for an unusually long time. I will find other things to do between now and when I get more gloves. Like finishing up those plans to put away the vacuum🙂

(((Tillie, Dave, Diane, those missing in action))))

When de-hoarding one must expect both emotional and physical impacts. We can weather them because we can expect them, and they will pass.

OOPs-double post. (but that does sorta stress how important I thought that process was at the time. You can visualize me scrounging through the AmVets bags for missed buttons while I was doing the "Darci" list for taxes.)

I went through a period 4-5 years ago where I carefully removed the extra buttons and/or top collar button from shirts before I donated them to create a stash of repair buttons. Same for "Docker" type pants if they had a spare button sewn inside.
(I also thought I could create a "valuable", "historic" brand name button collection.) 🙂 🙂 !!
I will NOT entertain discussion as to whether any repairs have taken place or button display boards have been created. 🙂 🙂

You're right Dave
but she is hiding them to keep them from being lost in the clean out and I fear that at this point in time she would possibly regret losing them all.
Since they are a small enough batch to easily hide, I think they should stay for a while as the larger, less wanted items leave.
Once she has done the majority of the necessary purging she may want to spend the time it will take to sort them and reduce them down to a fine collection.
She could use the down time as a reward for doing her daily maintenance.

One hard thing about decluttering is figuring out what you truly want or need and Diane's reluctance to even allow her helpers to see her buttons tells me she should not let them go at this time, or maybe even ever.
🙂

I think Diane's problem is whether she can add button sorting to daily life activities, current cleaning projects, rock collecting and tree climbing. I think she is dealing with one of those really hard junction points of sentiment, reality and potential values that come in trying to clean up.

BUTTONS

One of my fondest early childhood memories is when Granma would let me sift through her button tin.
All the different buttons and bits & bobs of jewelry fascinated me for hours.
She would often allow me to keep an item, hard decision to make with so many wonderful things to choose from.
I still have some of those treasures.
Keep in mind that I do NOT have any hoarding tendencies.
But, I do have buttons.
I now have my own tin full of plastic, metal and Bakelite buttons and assorted bits of jewelry and tiny little toys.
My depression glass cookie jar is completely filled with shell buttons, old and new. And there are some pieces of jewelry in there too.
An antique leaded glass candy dish/with cover is filled with the special old, old glass and hand painted porcelain buttons.

Marie Kondo says to "toss ALL buttons, you never use them anyway".
She is wrong!
For me, buttons "SPARK JOY!".

I have noticed that some people are selling their Granma's old tins of buttons for up to 50.00.
So my button collection must be valuable too, which is a good argument for keeping my treasured collection.

These last fifty years of my life I have only kept the pretty buttons and I have them sorted and the fancy ones in the dishes are displayed in the glass enclosed cabinet built on the side of my antique secretary desk in the living room.

Plus, some of these buttons are heirlooms that came from two of my Grandmas and some are mementos from friends who have passed.
One I found while exploring an old abandoned ghost town.

When it comes to button collections the same rules apply that we should use for any other type of collections.

Keep the best and let go of the rest.
Maintain them and proudly display them. 🙂

The museum has old buttons beautifully displayed in picture frames hung on the wall.

Oh, forgot about today. I forgot timer when I started working today, worked too many hours without a break. Carried out bags of trash and bags of donations,then rearranged art and rocks in room, closer to being done in there. Dishes, how long will it really take to do? Less time than I think, just need to start them. I went rock hounding in yard all afternoon. Didn't want to burn all the papers I boxed today, Sunday, will do tomorrow when neighbors are at work, did also get some leaves etc to burn. Tomorrow I will call thrift store for pickup Thursday. I always haul donations to store, but so much this week. Last week friends hauled it away, told them thrift store this week, don't want to impose on them.
One thing that is difficult for me is to get rid of all the bins and hangers I have empty now, silly but think I need them. It feels like giving up fat clothes, may need them again. I collected costume jewelry for years as well as old buttons, difficult to get rid of. It would be ok to keep the good ones, problem is there are tons of not so great buttons and jewelry mixed in with them. Is it worth going through them? My tendency is to spend hours sorting stuff, and see no progress. just not ready yet so I hide them from helpers. True confession!

Hello ladies, I forgot how much I enjoy your posts, when I was not on here for months. So heartwarming hearing of your adventures. Mouth now watering thinking of curry dish. I agree with "how little time it takes" I have a tendency to think, "it takes to much time, and I will just mess it up anyway", negative thinking/depression big part of a hoarders lifestyle. I have come close to canceling cleaning help, because I fear failing, loss etc., so good to read try it anyway, and so what if it is not up to my or others standards.
Tillie, I have been thinking of what you said about therapy and massive cleanouts, thank you for that.
I also appreciate that in 8 months a flat surface grows a pile of unknowns in a hoarders house, it is a fact. Nice I am not alone. When the pile grows tells me I am a failure, turning that around, have to admit, Tillie's constant yapping about maintenance is the only way to stop a creeping pile, has nothing to do with being a failure, has to do with learning new behaviors, to make life better.

Hi Roxie! 😀

Lemonade "CLINK!"

WAY TO GO!!!
sending down the laundry, tidying and filing papers! 😀

OK...
I fried the two pork chops.
Had a pot of rice already cooked.
Removed the chops from the pan and added the rice to the pan with a little salad oil.
Added curry powder and stirred it into the rice as it fried.
Then I pushed the rice to one side of the pan and scrambled two eggs in the cleared area.
Stirred that into the rice.
Added some peas, stirred again.

I made big batch because I love it so much and will eat it all, over the next few days.
P.S. the pork chops turned out very tender and juicy! 😀

Sorry about the computer problems you are having. 🙁
Post when you can. (((hugs)))

Tillie, fried rice curry? What is that?

Hugs and coffee clinks.

Good Morning Everybody 😀

Hi Diane 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!
Fantastic job you are doing with your new lapidary room and also for taking better self care.
Yes, it was nice when I too found Cory's news letter in my email. 😉

Something that has been foremost in my thinking lately is that I am older than I was before and my wants and needs have changed drastically over the years.
Things that I used to want or do have fallen out of style for me.
I want my stuff and home to reflect who I am now.
Example...
I used to tat lace but no longer have the desire to, so I will let my shuttles go.
I no longer cook for anyone but myself, so I will let the kitchen items I no longer need go.
But, there are new interests I have that I am really enjoying, so I will fill my time with them.

Letting go of the things of the past is opening up space and time for all the things I want in my here and now.
Do not allow the past to keep us from our new adventures.
(((hugs)))

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
See my hand raised?
WAY TO GO!!!
Great job vacuuming and WTG! for Miss Kitty not freaking out! 😀
That is a good perspective to keep in mind.
If we don't try because we fear failure, we never will accomplish anything.
Plus there are usually snags involved in most everything we attempt but when we keep at it we usually are victorious! 😀

Well...
Half of the snow has melted. The ice sickles are dripping. Lots of mud everywhere.
Not a good day to play outside even though the sun is shining and it should warm up to 40 degrees today.
Will watch videos, do some beading, cook pork chops and fried rice curry & clean the kitchen.

TTYS 😀

PS to Diane--I wasn't being flippant in my "such is life" remark, I was instead verbalizing my philosophy these days--trying so hard in my life to move on from bad things! Not trying to deny anyone of their emotions! I've been under a lot of stress lately and I try to tell myself, nothing ventured nothing gained, so that when something doesn't work out, I have a perspective that keeps me from crying. Please, please, I hope everyone on here knows me well enough--sometimes I get dizzy when I see that it's been eight months since I inherited some of those most beautiful things in the world and I see that one of them is piled high with God know what. My hoarder tendencies and lifestyle are a constant battle.

Just re read some posts. Diane, it sounds like fun to rearrange the furniture--I hope it goes well and if it doesn't turn out yo be fun, well, such is life.

I just vacuumed the "library" including the couch and I vacuumed the rug under my desk. It took no time at all. Very pleased. Even Miss Kitty didn't seem to freak out (which is likely a sign of how unfamiliar the noise is). I'm going to peek in the bedroom and if she's not asleep in there, I will quickly vacuum the bedroom too.

Hello everyone! Glad to see you all!

I am up a little late today and just enjoying some coffee. If I vacuum today I'll feel really good about myself. Doesn't take any time at all yet it looms large in my mind. Raise your hands if that's too familiar--(I had to raise both of my hands). I can't wait to find out how little time it takes. I'm going to try to think in those terms--how little time something takes rather than how much time it takes. That may help me out today.

Much love to you all. Diane I don't want to keep putting the spotlight on you but I continue to be thrilled every time your name pops up. But the same holds true for Tollie, LR, Roxie, CM and everyone else--you are all special to me.

Hi Cory, thanks for the newsletter, really enjoyed reading it tonight.
Dear Tillie, I am so happy to hear from you today, you are so wise and kind. I worked on my lapidary room today, made lots of progress, did work too long, you do know me so well.
I laughed reading your post, as I sipped on my smoothie!!!! Good memory you have. I was surprised at how much there is still to do in there. I did get the whole floor vacuumed. Arranged some of my polished rocks, love my rocks, what a gift. My rocks bring me such joy it helps me to see how little value my hoard has.
Tillie I really do appreciate your suggestions. Tomorrow I will do much less than today. Hope you are having a nice weekend.
Cory I appreciated your reminder to set a timer, I will use timer tomorrow, thanks.

Good Morning Everybody 😀

Hi Cory 🙂
GREAT! to "see" you today. ;D
Thank you for everything you do for us so that we have this wonderful place to connect.
(((hugs)))

Hi Diane 🙂
Thank you, (as I sigh with relief).
Did you know that the hoarders featured on "HOARDERS" talk with a therapist before filming begins, during filming and are offered continued therapy afterward, should they accept it?
What we see is only a very small part of the therapy during the clean out.
There are times when the professionals see that it is time to "push" a little harder, but more important, they see when it is time to back off/slow down, take a different approach.
Knowing you as well as I do, I know that you tend to push yourself until you are physically, emotionally and mentally burned out.
You should always try to end a decluttering session on a positive note and not totally exhausted.

So HAPPY you are slowing it down.
Now, make some fruit smoothies, eat, shower, rest and sleep.
Think through how you want your lapidary room to be set up.
(((HUGS)))

I just wanted to drop in and say hello, good morning and Happy Saturday!

Hi everyone. Tillie you are so right. This morning I worked more on stuff I have to go through, got a batch done. Brought more stuff out of rock room to go through. I realized I am feeling so much pressure to complete that room before next Thursday, and it feels impossible. Just got off phone with helper/director of my clean out, told her it is too much, I am feeling raw, so many feelings, not feeling the joy she would think I would feel. Just feel rushed and pressured, and so much is left to do in there. She agreed with me and realized I am very different from her and it is too much too soon. We agreed on this weeks assignment. Thursday she will help me rearrange furniture etc. and time permitting we will do entry way, no new room. I feel relieved, not like I can go on vacation, but at least enjoy the trip I am on this weekend, exploring my new space and time to think about what I really want in there and best way to set up tumblers etc. That room is so cold, wish I could sort in there instead of messing up living room. Maybe I will work on it for a few hours, put donations and garbage outside and remaining work back in the rock room until I am ready for it. I need a shower, clean bed sheets, that shall now be my priority, my self care is non existent feeling the pressure of this huge clean out. Thanks for reality check. I came to this conclusion and doubted I had a right to go slower, then reading your comment made me realize it is a big deal and I am not a victim, I can say my need to slow down. I am not lazy just need to take it a little slower. I am not on a hoarder show where they get it all done in a week, I think my helpers think that the hoarder show has all the answers, well my willingness to have help and get this done, misled all of us. Reality is it took us 6 weeks to go through laundry, kitchen, dining, living room and this room is as big as all of that area put together.
rock room is a room that was added on to the trailer so is a very large room that was full to the max with piles of stuff. So to think one week is unrealistic. I am starting to feel hope again, knowing you will understand what I am feeling. Thanks for your help through this stressful month

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Have fun with your snow. 😉

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Thank you for stopping by and letting us know how you are doing.
Take care of yourself.
(((HUGS)))

Hi LR2014 🙂
Good to hear you have been doing half of the self care things. 😀
Now, listen carefully and you will hear my voice throughout the day encouraging you to drink more water and can you see me standing firm ordering you to get to bed on time?
;D

Hi Diane 🙂
Have your friends read
"Digging Out" or "Buried In Treasures"?
Since there is no therapist trained in helping with a hoarding disorder involved in this clean out, I worry about you.
I believe you need time between a whole room clean out to get used to the space. Time to process things before another big whole room clean out.
Not saying to stop all work, just maybe you need to do a smaller amount this next session.
Then when you are emotionally ready, clean the next whole room.

It takes time to get used to the "new".
There are thoughts to process, emotions to come to terms with.
I strongly believe that the talk therapy part of a major clear out is the most important part.
And it is the way that you learn skills that will serve you will throughout the rest of your life.

Not trying to talk you out of anything.
Just want you to connect with your inner self and try to communicate these things to your helpers.
It is your emotional wellbeing, more so than your physical surroundings that take priority.
(((HUGS)))

Today I am off to town to get some food.
Have my list all made up.
Now I just need to get dressed.

Till Later.... 🙂

Hi Tillie, Tatoulia, Diane, Roxie, CriticalMass, Karl, Dave, Anonymoniker, ShedTheShame, Arggg, et al.

CM, sorry you are dealing with so much right now! Lots of hugs!

Yes, Tatoulia, I do believe I'll feel a big sense of accomplishment when that debris gets taken to the dump. There is still more of it to be picked up (lots more). I'm hoping to make a trip to the dump about once a month for the next few months. Diane, I used to love to tumble rocks. Haven't done that in a long time. (I loaned my tumbler to a young friend who then moved out of state, and I haven't "tumbled" since then.) Tillie, I definitely have been eating enough (probably too much) and wearing proper clothing/gear. Can't say that I'm staying as hydrated as I should, though, and the sleep part is so-so. Having just admitted that, I'll end this post right now, get my laundry out of the dryer, and then try to snooze! (It's past my bedtime.) Goodnight!

So great reading your posts. Tillie I was out burning in the yard today with you, did you see the smoke signals I sent your way. It was good advice to be kind to myself, difficult day, burning was my fun for the day, then rinsed the rocks I am tumbling, now will change the grit. Roxie, happy your did washing and shining. Tat, 5 mins. and dishes were done, we are so silly to agonize for hours. Then I was energized, cleaned counters, moved microwave to more convenient area. Thanks for your thinking about potential uses. I have had to stop myself many times today regretting letting go of potential uses. Even thought of driving to where my stuff might be to recover things, then it would just sit in a pile for another 4 years. What I can't figure out, is how can I let them haul bins and boxes of good stuff out, then the small things they told me to decide on, I shuffle around for hours unable to make a decision, then it is still cluttering the table. The thought comes to mind, just dump the whole pile and be done with it, the answer is you might need it, truth is can not find it when I need it. I have done this for years, can't decide so just shove it somewhere, to deal with later, later never comes, just another pile. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight and
tomorrow is a new day.
Just heard next Thursday is the next clean out day, they want to do another whole room like they did this one, I am terrified to let them in that room, they will get rid of so much more. She said the sooner the better so I don't talk myself out of it. I am thinking I need a few weeks to adjust to yesterdays cleanout, they have been right so far, I have to just trust I will survive this. I know you will be here for support

Once again back with a quick check in; life has slammed our household with one thing after another. It may ease up some in the crises that have reached their peak and are on the downhill side. But there's another uncertainty, an elderly person with not much time left. My brain has been fried at times and I have felt a desire to run away just so I can think. But I can't, and I'll survive, and then when time permits I'll rest, regroup, and resume. In the meantime I'll touch base here when I can. Your posts have been inspiring and I'm proud of you all. 🙂

Wow! Glad to hear from each of you.

LR, I am sure you will feel a great deal of accomplishment after going to the dump--there's something to be said for seeing the fruits of our labor--clear space! Keep it up!

Dear Roxie, how nice that we all have each other for motivation. Sometimes I stand in kitchen and say, it would take all of five minutes to empty dishwasher and refill it with the dishes in the sink. It's good for me to remind myself that some tasks truly only take a few minutes. And they generate the energy to wash down the sink, throw away garbage, etc, etc. amazing!

Diane--so proud of you. You are doing a great job. It's tough and it's painful, to be sure. One thing I've done to help me through this: If after getting rid of something I think, oh I could use that for (soap dish, empty wall in kitchen, place to hold my socks, you get the idea), I remind myself that just because I've now (posthumously) found a use for something doesn't mean I need it. If that makes any sense to you, perhaps you could try it. So, when I walk into bedroom tonight and say, if I hadn't donated that one thing, I could use it now. Yes, but the fact that I can now think of a use doesn't justify the fact it hid under my dresser for the past 18 years! And certainly doesn't mean I should have kept it.

Tillie we are expecting snow tonight--hard to believe when it's been so mild. Let's see if it sticks around or melts immediately!

Got to go make dinner and get some love from the kittycat.

WOOHOO!!! Roxie 😀
FANTASTIC job you have done there!

While I was outside watching the burn barrel burn, I did snow removal on the car.
Now it's all uncovered with the ice sickles removed too. 😀
When my fingers got too cold I would go warm them by the fire.

((((Tillie, LR, Tat, Diane))) and coffee clinks to all.

Think of you daily and appreciate each of you.

Diane 😀
(((HUGS)))
Be very kind and gentle to yourself.
Try not to worry about anything that's been removed.
Focus on what remains and your vision of your life as you want it to be.
I am so very, very proud of you for allowing and trusting your friends enough to help you through this difficult process.
I smile when I envision you working away in your special rock room, doing what you love.
(((HUGS)))

Good Morning 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
You're welcome 😀
WAY TO GO!!! for keeping on top of daily maintenance! 😀
I believe that being in his hoard drains all the energy, motivation and any positivity out of my hoarder.
You can actually see the transformation in him.

Hi LR2014 🙂
Little by little it will get done!
WAY TO GO!! for your organizing projects too! 😀
Just remember to take care of yourself.
Eat, stay hydrated, rest and sleep enough, wear proper clothing and any necessary protective gear.
Write to us again when you get the chance. (((hugs)))

Just puttering around in here today.
Think that about noon I will go out and light the burn barrel.
Not a good day to hang out laundry. Not snowing but the sky is solid cloud cover keeping out the sunbeams.
Still brutally cold too.
Decided that tomorrow I will venture into town and get some groceries, so today I will write up a list.
The other day my lavender started to sprout. 😀

Later... 😀

Thanks for posting that you feel better when things are clean. I need to wash dishes, clean counters, take garbage out and trust I will feel better like you do. I get busy trying to figure out what to do with small items, and let dishes etc. go. Such a good reminder to take care of the things that matter, like dishes. Last month we got rid of more than half of dishes etc. in kitchen because I continued to let dirty dishes pile up. I still need to do them daily so dirty dishes don't scream, "see you really are a slob"
Happy you have a light bright house Tillie, cloudy here. It is such a miracle that the core group of gals has hung together, and now that I am ready to rejoin you, you have accepted me with open arms, thank you LR,Tat,Tillie Roxie, means so much