Tillie, any chance you would want to take a lunch or fluids out to reward him and fuel him to keep going, I know I work until I am out of fuel and want to give up. Thanks for sharing all of your insights.
Closet is now empty, vacuumed, cleaned. Two huge trash bags filled with donations. Almost everything in the huge pile she made of things she thought were no longer me, I could see her point and most was easy to donate. Few things I tried on and once again, she was right. Still have a few of her choices to ponder.
I am now pulling a few dress clothes to donate. Have to eat then plan to try on jeans. So, so much to go through. At least it is all clean and no rodent poop or pee, all that was gone last year.
Will keep the best most comfortable jeans.
Have made a bin of work clothes, paint on them, but comfortable, could not decide what I want to keep so will leave in bin and work on things I will wear that go back in little closet. Thanks for timer reminder, really need to use it today, I am already too tired, sun is out, need to have outdoor fun too

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Just updated to windows 10 and having no luck getting colored text on this site.
Plus other frustrating features. 🙁

Hi Diane 🙂
Yes, that is the main reason for having a staging area.
With the stuff still where it has always been we just end up shuffling/churning, but once you pull it all out in a different location, decision making becomes a bit easier.
WOW! new jeans! 😀
I love new jeans.
Since they fit make sure to keep the new ones and perhaps let go of the older ones.
Breathe, drink water, use the timer and I believe that you will make GREAT decisions about your wardrobe.
(((HUGS)))

Well...
He went out there.
Spent a long time emptying the back of the truck of all his newly acquired stuff.
He gathered up some garbage from inside the garage where he sits on his other computer, added that to the trash pile.
NOW he is starting to go through all that stuff I pulled out yesterday.
Plan is keepers go in a pile to the side,
all else into the truck for the dump.
Really, everything is contaminated with animal poop & pee and mold, nothing can be donated.
Wish somebody were here to help me tell him the dangers he faces keeping anything.
He refuses to wear the face mask and gloves.

So far so good with him doing this 😀

TTYS 🙂

Tillie I got on here early today to see how you are, I am so relieved that you are OK. If he is like me, once you move the hoard you can finally see what crap it is.
Thanks for the clothes advice. I hauled more clothes out of bedroom this morning. still more to haul. I can see I really like black yoga pants, good for bending and squatting in yard, but do I need 20 pair? Jeans I like because they are go anywhere pants. I keep discovering more that I bought at Costco that fit well, but still have tags on, probably a sign that I have too many.
Today I feel so many emotions looking at that little closet, hopeful, fearful, excited for change, questioning if I can make good decisions.
Yes helper went through first bunch of clothes and made a pile of what she guessed I should get rid of so I could see her opinions, now it is my job to figure out what I want. My helper is actually my ex boss that I worked with 10 years doing clinics. Full time she had her own business as a wellness coach, so she is really great, just never coached a hoarder before, so we are both learning. Main thing is I want to get this done and not lose her friendship. I really like and respect her.
I really appreciate being on here to connect with people that understand hoarding, it is a whole different beast.

Update...
He just came home and saw all the stuff in the driveway.
He was pleasant, even did some chatting.
I think seeing the dirty unearthed stuff hit home.
He said it's not worth sorting or salvaging.
Hope, hope, hope that tomorrow morning goes this smoothly.

Please, wish me luck 😀

Hi Diane 🙂
(((Big Hugs)))
Clothes.
Make up a wardrobe of clothes you like and enjoy wearing.
Try not to keep the ones for "just in case".
Live for today.
Have only enough pieces around to last the next two years should you stain, tear or wear out any on a regular basis.
When it looks like you need to add to your wardrobe you may want to make a few fashion choice changes.
What colors are you most complimented on? For me it's when I wear green because it brings out the vivid green in my eyes.
Anyways, this is how I do it.
Would your helper be a good judge of what styles compliment you best?
My style is old Hippie chick with a bit of Goth.
And I have no desire to change. LOL 😀

Hope this has helped you a little on deciding what fashion choices to make.
🙂

Happy to read you are enjoying the outdoors and using that to help calm your nerves. (((hugs)))

Tillie, sure hope you had a safe day and are ok this evening when he arrives home. Dave you are so tenderhearted, hope you sleep better tonight. Hi Roxie, hope you didn't wear yourself out. Hi Tat and all.
Today I got up before 6am, couldn't sleep thinking of all the clothes I had to move. For 2 hours I moved clothes into rock room, oh my goodness, it is so overwhelming and exhausting. I went outside for a break, ended up rock hounding all day in my yard. It was soothing to my nerves and help me get perspective on my clothes. I have spent so much time and money on clothes I never wore, it is hard. I see I really don't pay attention to my likes enough to know what I like, so just want to keep everything. Now I need to learn what I enjoy wearing, by trying on clothes that catch my eye. As Tillie says, what is age appropriate? What fits my life style currently. I really want to get rid of most of the clothing hoard, what stops me? Besides not knowing what my style is, afraid that I will stain what I keep and will not have replacement clothes here. Afraid of getting addicted to shopping again, so want lots of stuff here. Oh my, at 67y.o. I should know these things. Really do not want to waste the few years I have left sorting clothes-----

Hi Roxie 🙂
Ice tea "Clink!"
WAY TO GO! for clearing spaces! 😀

Hi Dave 🙂
Thank you (((hugs)))

"heavy sigh"
Well...
I went out there and started moving stuff out of the carport and into the driveway.
Spent 5 hours doing this.
Actually made tiny little goat paths around in the carport.
Found MY car. A 1972 VW Beetle.
I pulled out soaking wet cardboard boxes that vomited out their contents.
The smell of cat pee just kept getting stronger and stronger the more I moved stuff out.
It really REEKS out there now.
I found an abandoned nest that I believe to be where baby bunnies came from.
There were so many ice chests of all sizes and some still contained melted ice and or food. :/
Most all this stuff has been neglected since the last century.
No kidding.
Lots of food related garbage.
I did NOT throw anything away.
Frustrating when I look into the carport and see that I hardly made a dent in the amount of stuff still in there.
Well anyways, it's a start.

You could not pay me enough to do this type of work for a living.
Thank goodness we have people like Cory. 🙂

Roxie, both the threads are unsettling expressions relating very precisely to excessive gathering in my life, the box one perhaps more so. Those are exactly the kinds of boxes I have (and/or had). In basically similar locations. And the "Mother's house" boxes have not yet entered Mrs. Dave's ken. From the perspective of a number of decades out, I think I pretty much know the path and the heartache ahead of that lady. I was right there beside her when she took the lid off those boxes. I could pretty much tell you item by item why they are there, but Diane, Dianne and I have played that game in the past. There is no reason to rehash it. What I described in my post is my reaction as the hoarder to being confronted with the boxes. My guess would be her husband discarded indiscriminately at his mom's because he was overwhelmed and the size of the truck and amount of money he had with him determined what he kept. Unless he will agree to go to a counselor with her, or someone in his family can reach him, he will not change and any hope she has otherwise will just defer the pain and heartache she has to deal with. And the choices and decisions she will have to make about her life.

Dave, is the thread "box after box" that is unsettling you? It is hard to determine who is speaking on that thread. Perhaps Tillie can drop over there with some book suggestions?

Hugs and coffee clinks all around.

I've not slept much since 2-3 this morning after reading those other posts. Most unsettling.

Your list gets my attention. I'm sorry you're having to do the fixing by yourself.

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Yes Dave,
You are still alive. 😉
"You post, therefore you are."

HI Tatoulia 🙂
WAY TO GO!! for doing the folding and putting away part of laundry! 😀
"tea CLINK!" 🙂

Hi Diane 🙂
Thanks for the skunk. ;P
So glad this last helper session went well. (((HUGS)))
WAY TO GO!!!
for all your progress! 😀
As I recall, too many clothes have been a major part of your struggles to tame them all.
Wonderful plan you have for sorting them all out!
YES! take it slow enough to keep from burning out.
Get outside and play, find more buried treasure to add to your lapidary projects. 😀

"heavy sigh" Well..........
I have formulated a plan for attacking that carport.
Not much uncluttered space in the driveway but that will be the staging area.
Plan is to just start pulling stuff out from the edges of the heap, do a basic "pre-sort" of it into different piles.
Want the truck backed up there, ready for loading obvious trash.
Only problem is Him.
Will he do this or will he run off, returning home long after dark?
Will he become violent? Throwing stuff, slamming things, cursing at me?
I have made up my mind to continue with my plan no matter what.
If he leaves I will just pull out all I can and have it out in the driveway, waiting for him.
At 10:00am today I will start this project.
When he gets home tonight it will already have begun so if he plans to make other plans for the weekend he will see that I really meant that this would happen THIS weekend, not sometime in the distant future.

I have made up a list of why this must be done and will give it to him to help him remember.
MICE-HANTAVIRUS
RATS-BUBONIC PLAGUE
FERAL CAT COLONIES-MORE DISEASES
SKUNKS-RABIES
SNAKES-NEED I SAY MORE?
SCORPIONS
FLEAS
BLACK WIDOW & BROWN RECLUSE SPIDERS
WASP COLONIES
WATER BUGS, WHICH ARE REALLY JUST SUPER SIZED ROACHES
MOSQUITOS-WEST NILE
MOLD AND MILDEW
TRIPPING HAZARDS
FALLING STUFF HAZARDS
INACCESSABILITY FOR FIRE DEPARTMENT/PARAMEDICS

WISH ME LUCK 🙁

Am I still alive? My life is being reviewed before my eyes in other threads.

Hi T&T
Yes Tat, it is great to have space and truly appreciate it. I had a skunk visit last night Tillie, I have him your address. I was sitting outside and I smelled him and went inside, no stink today so he must have found you. Sorry, Tillie and you have dealt with the carport for way too long, it is a danger to you both.
Today I got up and did a manic cleaning before help arrived. It was so much better just having one person help. She appreciated all the work I put in this week, and so did I. She had some excellent suggestions. Rock room is almost complete now. We started on my bedroom, oh boy----the clothes on the floor were all hauled into rock room. We separated all clothes, biggest pile was donations. Put all tops together, all sweaters together, jeans pile, athletic clothes, etc. This next week I have to pick the things I want, get rid of the rest. Then bring all the hanging clothes in rock room and do same process S(keeping all the clothes I plan to keep in the room) so I can see exactly what I have altogether. My bedroom is tiny, and the clothes on the floor only, were enough to dress a village. This week I have to take time off so I do not burn out like I did last week. Thanks Tillie for suggestions on nagging little items. I will write it down and try it tomorrow. Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences.

Hello everyone!

Diane, you are doing so well, isn't it nice to appreciate the room for what it is? Well done! I'll use that as motivation to help me get things together.

Tillie great advice on the piles of miscellany. They have been known to haunt me.

Hoping everyone is doing well, I need to fold laundry if I'm to keep to my new plan of folding laundry and putting it away.

Peppermint tea clinks!

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Diane 🙂
Don't you just love Dave's sense of humor! 😀
FANTASTIC! WAY TO GO!!!
Wonderful to hear how lovely your rock room is.

How I dismantle a pile of assorted whatevers...
I start sorting them into "like" categories.
Kitchen stuff with kitchen stuff
Pens, pencils, paper, rubber bands, etc.
craft/hobby items
tool box stuff like screw drivers etc.
papers, bills, invoices, instruction manuals, store flyers...........
Then after I have it sorted I tackle one smaller pile at a time.
Put away stuff where it belongs.
Evaluate "why do I have this???" What is it anyway?"
"Do I really need to have it?"
"What's the worst possible thing that could happen if I just chuck it?"

I hate having to deal with miscellaneous stuff so the less the I have the happier I am. 🙂

OK,
Last night the local skunk spent the night in the carport.
I like skunks but you have to be vary careful around them not to spook them.
I worry she will decide to raise this years batch of babies out there.
Baby skunks are soooooo cute.
But,
Think of all the reasons you would not want to try tippy toeing around a whole family of them every day.

Anyways, his method of avoidance of any cleaning is to get really super ugly and nasty.
This time I refuse to back down just because he is being mean.
I don't care any more. I have given him plenty of time and opportunities to deal with this.
I live here too and the carport is a health and safety issue now.
So according to Dr. Tompkins, Ph.D. I have every right to see that this gets done.
"Digging Out" chapter two, "Harm Reduction".

Today is going to be a warm and sunny day. 😀
Already have some laundry out on the line.
My Daffodils have started poking up leaves in my garden.
Planning to do a bit of digging in the dirt today with all the cats outside with me.

TTYS 🙂

Is it just me or is everything Dave and Tillie say hilarious? So nice getting a good laugh at you two.
Thanks Tillie, the day in the yard really helped my mood. Today I did get a lot accomplished. Rock room is really looking great. The little crap expects me to get it off the floor I guess. I was hoping if I worked really hard today, it would disappear. I reclaimed my front door area today, it was soooooo bad, looks so nice now. Cleaned all the stuff and books off the bookcase by other door. Books are in donations, bookcase is in rock room. That area is so nice now. It has varnished pine boards sideways on wall and ceiling, rock room has the same warm wood on ceiling, it was so cluttered, forgot how pretty it is. After working all day, I am a little frustrated with little clutter piles in living area. These little piles are so rebellious, they want to maintain the hint of a hoarders life. Who is boss here? Guess I will have my way with them. I am seeing I feel powerless over little piles, like they have rights and I do not. Tomorrow is Thursday, helper is coming at 10:30 instead of noon, yikes, guess those little piles won't make it through the night.

LOLOLOL
ROTFLMAO
😀

LOLOLOL
ROTFLMAO
😀

Once again I am outmatched. I only have 500,002. 🙂
mmm.... store buttons in them ? ...

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Dave 🙂
Thank you.
I have blocked the rodents entrance into the house in all the ways I can.
Scooter (the cat) had removed the steel wool tucked around the pipe hole in the kitchen but the one mouse he let in got bored or scared or something and left on it's own.
The plumbing access in the hoarded bedroom closet has been harder to make rodent proof.
And then there was a persistent rat trying to chew it's way in through the tiny gap in the hallway floor where the floor meets the wall but I got expanding foam insulation and fixed that.
That rat had kept all 5 cats entertained for hours as they sat quietly in the hall and listened to it.

Yeah, the garage here has those deadly avalanches too.
No sense in me poisoning or trapping rodents out there.
I just wait until Spring when all the snakes in the garage come out of hibernation and eat them.

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
(((HUGS)))
After such a hectic and trying time you need to take good care of yourself. Rest when you can.
Just looking at the storage and then thinking about what is in there is a great way to prepare yourself for when you are ready to tackle it.
The very first step in any decluttering project is simply looking at what is there
then formulating a plan in your head.
Remember, you don't have to do it ALL at once.
You can do it box by box, item by item.
Break it down into smaller more do-able bits. 🙂

Hi Diane 🙂
WAY TO GO!!! for taking the day off and playing outside! 😀
Yes, that newer, still useable stuff is harder to make decisions about.
Keep in mind your wants/needs and desires for your life now and into the future.
Try not to allow past wants or needs to haunt you by keeping the items past their time.
Homeless small stuff! We all get that from time to time.
Hard to find a permanent place for it and then when we need it, we forget where we put it. 😀

OK...
Last night I let him know that the carport is in no way acceptable and that there will be at least one completely filled truck trip to the dump this weekend.
At least this time of year all the spiders, scorpions, snakes and bugs are hibernating.
Tonight I will repeat what I said last night because he always conveniently forgets.

Anyways...
think today I will go to the store and get some bananas.
Time away from here should improve my outlook on life.

TTYS 🙂

Hi Dave 🙂

I am going to ask you the same question I ask here at my house....
Just what? are you planning to store in those 1,875,000 pill bottles any ways???

And, no, those peeled bottles are not valuable because they still have those frustrating/infuriating child proof caps.

🙂

There is a conspiracy going on. The pharmaceutical industry is conspiring against hoarders. The labels on the plastic prescription bottles (at least the ones from my pharmacy) are no longer peelable (have not been for long time). This means I can no longer save the bottles to put stuff in. At least if I don't want my hippa information spread around. grrr.
(Does this mean my small supply of really old bottles with peelable labels are valuable?)

Hi all, good to hear what you are doing today. I took the day "off". Went outside first thing before I got stuck inside doing things. No pressure for the first day in over a week. I ended up working in the yard all day. I chopped down all the dead stuff raked it up. Changed grit in tumblers, did more rock hounding in yard, just basically worked in yard all day, which I enjoyed.
My car is full of donations now, still room in front seat. I told my helper/friend, that one car load a week is all I am comfortable with, last week was too much. Nothing is stained, no mouse poop, all this is from inside living area. Last year when I did the garage, the hoard was just the opposite, lots of droppings, stains, disgusting stuff, easy to decide to throw away. More difficult when everything is fairly new.
Still difficult when I have a lot of small stuff that has no home. It has a temporary home on living room floor, seems to like to stay there.

Tillie,
sorry about the rodent problem. I hate mice around the dwelling. I can't keep them out of the garage completely, but have blocked access to the house. I used some poison in the garage (between pets) and managed to cut the population down somewhat.

Several years ago while the garage was still hoarded beyond goat paths I had one mouse fall into a cat sand bucket (those are a little less valuable than plastic sacks in that you CAN get too many of THEM!). I heard the squeaking but didn't realize what happened until too late. That's the only time I've really heard them. I did get closely acquainted with the poop once when I tripped and fell out there, bringing a stack of boxes down around me (a la Langley Brothers).

Interim report:

Some of life is re-normalizing or falling into place or whatever. The person who was ready to pass on went peacefully, the funeral date is set. The animal that had surgery (for which I will be sitting while roomie attends funeral) is more self sufficient again. I was sick over the weekend but am better. I think it was all the stress.

The latest round of vehicle repairs took another bite out of my bank account, but it could've been worse. It's like the Johnny Cash song "One Piece At a Time" - well, one piece at a time I should have a like-new vehicle, LOL.

Last week before letting the mechanic have it I needed to get some stuff out of it so I ran that stuff over to the storage unit. That was pretty darn depressing. But it sparked a few ideas of things I might be able to talk myself into letting go of. So good may come out of it yet.

I'm just still regaining my energy and trying to figure out where I left off before so much happened. That seems to be 90% of my life, trying just to get my bearings.

Thanks for all being here. Hope it gets better for you too. Diane, don't let the helper intimidate you. I know it's hard because without the helpers sometimes we dither too much and get stuck, but they shouldn't rush us too much either. Take care.

Interim report:

Some of life is re-normalizing or falling into place or whatever. The person who was ready to pass on went peacefully, the funeral date is set. The animal that had surgery (for which I will be sitting while roomie attends funeral) is more self sufficient again. I was sick over the weekend but am better. I think it was all the stress.

The latest round of vehicle repairs took another bite out of my bank account, but it could've been worse. It's like the Johnny Cash song "One Piece At a Time" - well, one piece at a time I should have a like-new vehicle, LOL.

Last week before letting the mechanic have it I needed to get some stuff out of it so I ran that stuff over to the storage unit. That was pretty darn depressing. But it sparked a few ideas of things I might be able to talk myself into letting go of. So good may come out of it yet.

I'm just still regaining my energy and trying to figure out where I left off before so much happened. That seems to be 90% of my life, trying just to get my bearings.

Thanks for all being here. Hope it gets better for you too. Diane, don't let the helper intimidate you. I know it's hard because without the helpers sometimes we dither too much and get stuck, but they shouldn't rush us too much either. Take care.

Good Morning Everybody 😀

What a GREAT discussion going on here! 🙂

Hi Dave 🙂
We all can so much more easily make those keep/toss decisions about someone else's stuff because we have no emotional/ownership attachment to other people's stuff.
The hoarding person that I live with has absolutely no problem tossing anything of mine to make room for more of his stuff.
WAY TO GO! for surrendering the buttons to Mrs. Dave. 😀

Hi Roxie 🙂
"CLINK!"
Your tiny glass boot collection sounds lovely. 😀

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
YEA! WTG! for vacuuming and declogging the sink! 😀
Sorry you injured yourself, heal well. (((hugs)))

Hi Karl 🙂
Were you able to find the needed buttons to fix your shirt?
That party sounds like fun. 😀

Hi Diane 🙂
When doing a clean out the person who owns the items always has the last word on if an item stays or goes...
unless the items are contaminated with mold, or any bodily fluids, poop or pee from animals or humans or where something has died and decomposed, or some sort of chemical contamination or the item is damaged making it too hazardous to be around.

Those things are then biohazards and MUST be disposed of properly.

Have absolutely no idea what I will be doing today.
Fed the cats their breakfast & will scoop litter boxes & give them fresh water.
Extremely depressed, looked in the carport and saw that he has been amassing large trash bags full of food related garbage in there.
The bags have been chewed/clawed open and contents scattered.
This is not helping at all with the rat/mouse problem. 🙁

So....
I can fix you all's problems very easily by telling you to discard stuff. What you don't see is me not dealing with my own problem of too much stuff.

I am quite upset about my latest "too much stuff" lecture/demand from Mrs. Dave this morning. The humor here being that someone might say-Hey, page through the ... thread and look for some comments from a guy named dave. they might help you. :):)

so once again I have to figure out an approach to the piece of concrete that is my head! (I have already given the collector buttons that I can remember to Mrs. Dave. Maybe I have to give her the repair buttons too, although the larger problem involves more than buttons, socks and plastic bags.)

You are coping with a variant of the old pogo cartoon -- we have met the enemy and he is us. Looking honestly at ourselves, making changes, and doing it without a lot of guilt and self recrimination is always a challenging experience.

Thanks so much for your comments, needed to hear from you today. I hauled more stuff out, worked on odds and ends in rock room, then hit a wall emotionally. Feel like I need a break, but do not allow myself a break, feel pressured by helper. Feel like I have to finish things or she will just throw everything out like last week. I am still raw from last week.
Thanks for the button chat. She did see some and had me get rid off 2 big jars, appeared to be just worthless buttons, but others I want to go through, so need to put them out in garage in secret place. I want things gone, just going so fast, emotions need some healing. I want to cancel this week, and am afraid to, need help, can not do this alone. She comes for 2 hours and it is like a tornado, she just makes instant decisions and it is gone. I don't want to spend another year sorting through things, but so much every week is uncomfortable. How do I get some balance with what I need and what helper wants? I feel depressed tonight and unsure what to do. I did spend time outside in the sun, burned old bank statements, private stuff, cleaned up yard debris and burned it, a little rock hounding in yard, so no reason to be depressed. Ok, maybe a little reason, whole life is turned upside down. Letting people in to my house, letting them go through hoard etc.