Update.

OK
Looks like it has straightened it's self out.
😀

What has happened to our message board?
Why have we gone back to Halloween 2015?

Well, if people are experiencing glitches maybe we should all just move to a new thread and see if it helps. 🙂

"See" you all there!

Tillie,
Couldn't find phase 2.
First batch has 4,000 posts, phase 3 only 700 +, but possible going to phase 4 would decrease the delay for posts to appear-not sure.

Re: room. 10 plastic grocery sacks of books and 2 computer carcasses (I kept a number of the individual parts for "just in case") to recycle. And I think I am having another of those "thrift store clothes don't fit" kind of experiences. I browsed the book area at the recycle center 🙂 and found a copy of where in tne world is carmen sandiego which I brought home. My computer is old but the game is older and I wasn't sure the game would run on the computer. As I was looking through the game manual, it says the video has to be set at 256 colors (not more) so I think the experiment is doomed. Apparently I will have to take the game back to the recycle center. I have been making an effort not to fill back the empty space Mrs Dave has made in the living room but she's pretty mad about the table - she would be even madder if she knew I was saying what I said about the table and taxes. The fancy footwork this morning weakened the floor but I could not take the (broken) pickup to Lowe's for 2x4's for repair because of the hoarded mulch in the back.

Have not participated in chat for several years. Formal times used to be Sun and Tue evenings, sometimes people would hook up informally at other times. If you want to make comments in this thread or start your own thread in this section as Wife (with similar problem) has done, people will respond to what you have to say. The posts I have seen here and my personal experience (as the hoarding husband) suggest that causing behavior change in family members prone to excessive gathering is a difficult process which is quite often unsuccessful. You can read Wife's thread in this section as a current example of this kind of situation.

Hi Dave 🙂
Guess you need to make some room somewhere.
At least you have the tax software.
You are almost ready!:D

Hi Dave 🙂
Nice to think of you and Roxie rockin out together. ;D
My playlist today was Bob Marley's "Legend".

Hello AJ 🙂
First thing I always advise is to get a copy of
"Digging Out" and read it.
It is a book for people who live with or otherwise have a person who hoards in their life.
There is a chapter in it about "Harm Reduction".
That is what I am working on.
We are also allowed to make "No Clutter Zones".
Areas of the home that we declutter/clean and defend against creeping clutter.

A really good book for your husband to read is
"Buried In Treasures".
If he will, it could help him learn how to live with less.

I got the tax software I have been using for several years. The dining room table has too much stuff on it, I have no working room.

no one seems to be around in evening when i want to chat before hubby comes home. wish i could help others, want to chat with Tillie, and miss Hermione. my husband has too many items of things , and want to get him to pare down.

I just took a nat king cole cd out of the computer. I suspect I did not enjoy it as much as Roxie.
Big Band off the corner of a box pile.
Benny Goodman is now preparing to:
Jump (One O Clock)
Bounce (Jersey)
Stomp (At the Savoy and King Porter)
Meet (Down South Camp Meeting)
Jump (Jumping at the Woodside)
& Dance (Let's)
The finale is That's A Plenty.
🙂 🙂

Good Morning 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Sugar is very hard to overcome.
After a while the cravings for it will lessen.
Good luck and keep up the great job. 😀

Hi Roxie 🙂
"Clink!"
Today I am doing a bit of laundry and tidying up.
Tomorrow I have a D.D.S. appt.
Thursday and Friday I plan to start pulling more stuff out of the carport into the driveway.
Last evening I said that at the rate he is going this will take the rest of the year.
He said yeah.
I informed him that I am prepared to continue all year if that's what it takes. 😀
Anyways, you should see all the mice scampering around in the stuff still in the driveway!
That stuff is their homes and they are not prepared to move out.
The mice are driving the cats crazy because they can scurry under and through and the cats can't.
But it is keeping the cats amused for hours every day. 😀

I knew this would be a very hard clean out.
I have given him years to handle it on his own and things just got a lot worse year after year.
This year will be better. 🙂

Tat, taxes? Bite your tongue. I have several years worth of back tax papers yet to do. Half my paperwork is still in Arkansas. 🙁 Just sort a few papers for today. Little steps.

Coffee clinks.

Hello everyone,

Coming to the end of a good long weekend. Going to climb into bed and read. A number of years ago I bought a kindle in order to stop buying books. It's been such a positive change in my life.

I'm tired by waiting for one load of laundry so I can put it in the dryer and call it a night. Warmer today thankfully.

The diet continues to go well--my downfall is sweets, Roxie--I love them. I've found that peppermint tea will satisfy my sweet tooth. That and some fruit. Have eaten a lot of raspberries thus weekend. Just so yummy. We had a beautiful meal to celebrate Valentine's Day, but I managed to keep everything within diet plan and still showed a loss this AM. I need to stick with it and appreciate your tips and support!

Now I need a push yo do my taxes. I swore I would do them early this year. Anyone want to make it a challenge?

Well 🙁
he looked at a few items about 9am then got into the truck and took off to town.
Said he needed to go buy some snacks.
It is now 2:15 and he's still not back.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Roxie 🙂
"Clink!"
About things being plentiful...
Here, the thrift shops get so many clothes/shoes (nice stuff too, lots new, never been worn) that they end up having to just give stuff away to make room for all the incoming clothes.
Every week they have sales where you fill a brown paper bag full for 3 to 5 dollars a bag.
ALL my clothes and shoes are from thrift shops and I spend less than 20.00 a year on my entire wardrobe.
Example, last year I desperately needed new bras.
Right then the thrift shop had hundreds, all sizes, new donated from a regular store.
I bought 4 white, 4 beige, 4 black.
Spent 5.00 for what would have cost at least 200.00 elsewhere. 😀
Clothing is so plentiful it boggles my mind.
About taking pictures, he has lots of cameras but I don't and he refuses to allow me to photograph anything concerning his stuff.

Hi Diane 🙂
Sorry, I was aiming at your heart not your gut. 😉
WAY TO GO! for dish washing and looking those pants square in the eye.
OK, you are allowed to keep one small bag of "maybes" with the tops.
Pick out a few items that you really are not sure you want to part with, put them into this modest sized bag.
Put the bag somewhere out of the way, out of sight.
In 3 months revisit this bag then make a final decision to keep or toss.
(((hugs)))

Hi Dave 🙂
GREAT self talk for sorting out clothes.
Your thinking holds true for everybody not just clothes horses. 🙂

Well, the saga continues.
Today is presidents day and all state employees have it off.
He is in his bedroom playing on his computer.
Yesterday a neighbor friend dropped by.
This friend also has a relative who hoards, even more so they tell me.
I think/hope the conversation about letting go of what we don't need got through a little.
Anyways...
He uncovered a box of about a hundred of those tiny film canisters and was putting them into a container to save them.
I asked what he planned to store in them, he said very tiny electrical screws/nuts/bolts that he scavenged off all the small electrical items he was tossing.
I suggested maybe 20 would be enough for that, unsure, he decided he needed to keep all of them since he doesn't get any more since he stopped using film.
He hoards a lot of containers, of all kinds because he still thinks he just needs to organize everything and then it will take up less space.
Problem is that he forgets what's where and has to dump out everything looking for something he wants.
Then he doesn't bother putting stuff back into their containers and it all gets lost/damaged/jumbled up again.
Funny thing is that he labels every box & container "STUFF".
Because it is just a bunch of miscellaneous "STUFF" not categorized by "like with like".
😀

TTYS 🙂

So a response to the reconsideration request could be "ONE time" and "ONE at a time". If you take on the whole herd of zebras all at once, you are smashed toast. Drape one top over the back of the chair and say something like " I really don't have any more room to respectfully store tops in a vertical manner, and besides I thought you wanted to move out. Why am I supposed to reconsider that request now?" You should get some " gulp, forget I asked right off." If your clothing situation is as I suspect, you can only take back two or three, UNLESS you do one for one swaps with something else in the closet. So the reason to stay would have to be really, really good. If you reconsider any items one time, that's an opportunity to fix a mistake or communication error. You know from your prior experience that a first reconsideration is iffy and no more than one should be allowed. Available space and original reason for discard should be kept FIRMLY in mind during the process.

Reconsideration request.
Reflection and action.
Remember the pair of pretty socks that you put on the donation pile and then took off and put back on the pule five more times. Each time you took them off the pile because they were pretty, they were still always too tight and uncomfortable when you put them on. You finally let them go.
Remember the top you put on the donation pile and then took off and put back on five times. It had a square cut bottom so you could wear it out over jeans or skirt. It had a pocket so you could carry a pencil and lumberyard list. ( guy w/o purse speaking here :).) You weren' too concerned about it so you could wear it when there was s dirt or grease risk. (So far it was still nice.) But every time you put it back in your closet you found you still didn:'t like the pattern as well as a similar item. And every time you wore it the pocket never moved. It was positioned too high and made the shirt look dorky. You finally let it go.
Remember the pair of yoga pants that you put on the pile and then took off and put back on three times. They fit just right at the waist and they were RARE. They had POCKETS! But they never got any longer. Evey time you wore them, they had a flared leg bottom that ended an inch and a half above your shoes. You finally let them go.
(Continued)

Great reading all of your posts. Tillie your comments about taking good care of ourselves, since we often feel all alone, and think everyone else has lots of loving friends, really kicked me in the gut, so true. I did dishes this morning and very little else on my to do list. I took rocks out of tumbler and cleaned them, spent way too much time fiddling with rocks.
I appreciated Daves understanding of jeans and yoga pants, so I was all motivated to take his advice, after I went outside for a couple hours, well I just came in and all pants are just looking at me, daring me to step up and make some decisions.
I put my favorite tops in the closet, would like to be able to say, they will be enough, but the pile of less favorites are asking me to reconsider them.

Karl, good job on fixing the shirt and (you did, right?) tossing the old worn-out one!

Dave, you can be so eloquent when explaining things. Are you feeling better now regarding the other threads? Do you know what started you on the road to hoarding? You can expect distress and even physical symptoms when we address hoarding and cleanup. But we do survive it and come out the other side. There are lessons to be learned. I think one lesson for me has been that the world is plentiful and I can rely upon myself and others to provide in the future if I desperately need something (hence, no need to have "what if" clothes, for instance).

I Tatoulia 🙂
Thank you.
Your wardrobe sounds lovely 😀
Keep that Kitty warm!
Bundle the both of you up in the blankets together. 😉
This way, she can warm you up too.

Hi Karl 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!
fixing your party shirt!
Have a GREAT time. 😀

Well, he came home about 11am.
He's working very slowly and his keep pile is really getting big.
He does seem resigned to this though.

Temperature here has been in the 70s; predicted low 80s for the weekend.

Yes, last night I stripped the buttons from a flannel overshirt that's long past wearable condition, and used two of them on the shirt I mentioned; I'll wear that today.

Tillie and Karl, I hope you are both feeling better.

Tillie, I hope things continue to progress at your house! Karl, the Asian feast sounds terrific Diane, wow! You are terrific! Clothes have never been my problem. My mother instilled in us the idea of a few good pieces and so I generally dress very classically with some basic pieces that I personalize with jewelry and scarves. I also like to jazz up my outfits with my shoes. I rarely wear black anymore, preferring navy and greys for my neutrals. I like to jazz those up with flattering colors. Right now I'm terribly heavy and very unhappy. I seriously started dieting about a week ago and I've tuna,it found a diet I find easy and doable and I have faith in myself.

Wishing you all a wonderful day. It is record-breaking cold in the northeast so I will likely stay put today, having gone out with the BF last night for a lovely meal. Today trying to keep my drafty house warm and keeping the kitty all bundled up in her blankets.

Hello Everybody 🙂

Hi Karl 🙂
WAY TO GO! for your progress! 😀
Happy you have the party to attend.
Did you fix the missing buttons on your shirt?

My wish for everyone to do something nice for themselves is because I have noticed that many people tend to treat themselves as if they just don't matter.
These "hallmark" holidays also tend to emphasize to us that we are basically alone, while it looks like everybody else has millions of thoughtful loving friends and family in their lives.
So, being nice to ourselves, because we ALL really do matter, will help lift our moods, brighten our days and give us a little boost to "keep on keeping on". 🙂

Well, okay...
He left before 7am.
Before he left I said "I had hoped you would have taken this a little more seriously".
He said that he is.
I reminded him that we still have all the rest of the carport to completely clear out.
He said that first he has to finish clearing out all the stuff in the driveway.
Then he left to go sit around with his old and retired friends from work and all boast about how wonderful they are and he will tell them what an unreasonable ***** I am and get sympathy.
He has never invited any of them here, he is too ashamed to let them see this mess.
Their houses aren't like this.

I was up half the night being sick.
I did too much dragging out all that stuff.
Plus all the worrying about how this was going to go.
Still feeling queasy and weak.
Had planned to do a little gardening today but probably won't.

Till later...

I've made bits of progress here and there, but nothing very dramatic. I'll be with some friends for a Sunday banquet in celebration of Asian New Year, and might also use a birthday coupon that hasn't expired yet, but I'm not actually celebrating Valentine's Day.

Various advertisements and broadcasts related to that day have gotten me somewhat depressed, and it made me wonder what calendar-related patterns are known for suicide. (No, I'm not a serious risk myself at the moment.) Some online searching didn't turn up any hits for specific dates (except myths), but it seems that Spring/Summer is suicide season; and on a weekly basis, it turns out that Wednesdays (surprise!) have about twice the rate of any other day.

After he took the first load of trash to the dump he stopped by the grocery store and bought himself fried chicken and 4 12 packs of assorted soda.
He sat at his computer in the garage for several hours.
Late afternoon he did a little more sorting then returned to his seat in the garage
where he still sits.

Hoping tomorrow the pace picks up a bit.

Today I did some trimming on the lilac bushes and other gardening type stuff.
Was a beautiful warm and sunny day.
All the cats had lots of fun out there too. 🙂

LOL
I have no idea what color this will be since I only see code and not shades of colors.

What I wanted to remind everybody of is that tomorrow is Valentines day.
I want you all to treat yourselves.
Do something nice for YOU.
Doesn't mean buying anything or a fancy meal out.
Be creative and enjoy! 😀

Hi Diane 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!
You are doing GREAT! 😀

Hi Dave 🙂
Really good advice about washing the new jeans before she makes any final jeans decisions.
Good luck with your future "merging" project. 😀

OK...
He has just taken off to the dump with the first load.
Hope he returns sometime today.
There are still three more truck loads worth waiting in the driveway.
Yes, yesterday I pulled out only a tiny amount from the carport and it was FOUR truck loads worth.
His keep pile so far is very, very small.
YEA!!!! 😀

TTYS 🙂

Diane, re jeans. One of the things I have liked about thrift stores is things after washing. I have even resonated new clothes from thrift stores because of shrinkage. You might consider washing all the bend new jeans first and then trying them on. This would let you check both shrinkage and sewing variances. Yoga pants thought. If say I want to have one clean pair per day and then have one reserve pair for each day, that would give you a cap of 14 pairs. You could then reduce that later if you didn't have enough room for 14. I find that sometimes it helps me to break a disposal into stages like that. Sorta doing that thing with winter weight sweat pants. Have tried to merge basement box and closet piles and dispose of some obvious goes. In march I'll cut remainder back to 3-4 pairs to store for next winter.