Hi Roxie, we posted at the same time, fun reading your post, you really are good at supporting each person, you have a good memory, I forget who posted what by the time I start writing on here, good luck with doctor appts.

good morning, very difficult sleeping last two nights, this is unusual for me. It is still so difficult for me to say no to people that I have felt less than, so in past always would say yes, even though it was just for their convenience. Knowing I deserve to say no when it is important to me, will become easier if I practice. Speaking of practice, back to the pile of pants. I still have the all or nothing thinking. After reading LR's post about 20 minute paper sorting, realized I will avoid it when think I have to do it all. Today will set timer for 20 minutes and try on and sort pants. Have to dog proof house and deck today, so will encourage me to take an objective view of what needs to be finished and cleaned up today. Tanner is coming tonight to stay for 4 days.
LR I appreciate your post about finding clothes that fit and how it made you feel more confident. I was talking myself into keeping the bigger clothes to use as work clothes, it would be so much better to donate them to someone that will use them to feel better about how they look. Tillie, when we don't sleep well, our minds can be a challenge to keep tamed.
Dianne, happy you and Laura got so much done.
Roxie, happy you are still keeping us updated on all that you got done. COPD is scary. In nursing school they had us breathe through a straw how it feels to have COPD. I only smoked for 2 years but it was the hardest thing to give up, it is a powerful addiction. Apparently smoking affects the brain like cocaine, so is very hard to give it up. I wish you well and happy you realize how important it is to give up smoking to save you from more lung damage, plus you will have more energy and feel better after withdrawal. With patches you will do fine. Deep breathing will be a good substitute for the ritual of smoking.
So much going through my head this morning, wishing the best for each of you today. Action leads to progress, inaction leads to failure.

Thanks for the warm welcome back everybody! Good to see everyone doing their best and making progress, however small.

Welcome LR! Great job working on those papers! I have recently gotten rid of a great deal of old papers that stressed me out every single time I thought about them or saw them. Now that they're gone I feel so much better. Another great example of how facing the issue makes things better for us in the long run :)

Today is my new day one. I went to work earlier, cooked dinner for my husband and put in three loads of laundry. I also emptied the bathroom garbage cans a took the trash out. For the rest of the evening I'd like to finish drying the clothes, fold and put them away. Maybe read a little bit.

OK, I did my twenty minutes on papers. (In this instance, found more to trash than to shred. Either way, I made progress.) The twenty minutes spent is a good reminder of why this is (or can be) hard. These papers were from the mid-2000's. (Trust me, I have much older ones.) It was 20 min. worth of visual reminders of that time period. I found papers that aroused old anger feelings (a note blaming me for something, which in turn reminded me of an irritating person I once had to deal with), papers that aroused guilt (visual reminders of things I was supposed to do back then but for various reasons never did), papers that made me smile, and papers that reminded me of good skills I have. In short, a variety of emotions and memories got aroused in that twenty minutes. I don't feel particularly drained at the moment, but at times that drain can and does happen. That's one reason that support of one another in this is so good and so important.

Since papers are one of my big issues, one specific goal for today is to spend 10 to 20 minutes going through papers in search of ones that can be shredded. (It doesn't take long to find papers like that!) I'm fortunate to have a local shredding service that brings a big truck to a nearby location on Saturdays. You can take a box of things there to be shredded for $10, and the money goes to a charity (or at least that part was at one time the case...by now, I don't care...just want the papers gone). I have too much to shred on my own. They shred it right there in front of you, so you know it got done. Feels really good to take a load there and then leave that location with one less box of stuff!

Dianne: You're welcome!

Good morning everybody! :D
Clear skies & lots of sun today but it's cold and breezy.
Got some laundry hung out on the line anyway.
Was up most of the night because the cats were all jumpy & twitchy because of all the moon light.
Spent yesterday afternoon trying to sew and Scooter helped me a lot.
Will try sewing again today after I get the usual daily tasks done.
Still have so many thoughts and emotions running wild through my brain.
It is so very very true that if a hoarder does not want to change, they won't.
Keep up with all the GREAT work you all have been doing. (((hugs)))

Oops... that was supposed to be a comma after "confidence." Yes, perfectionism in certain areas has been one of my issues that has contributed in various ways to my clutter problem. :)

Thanks for the welcome, Dianne. I do have some old clothes to get rid of, but excess clothes are not my issue as much as other things. As a matter of fact, one of my problems is that I hate to go clothes shopping for a variety of reasons (in part because of the cost of nicer clothes, in part because of past difficulties getting things that fit, and for other reasons). Over the past few years, two people have given me some of their excess, and I also picked up a few things at thrift stores. Finding items from those sources that seemed to fit and that helped me look and feel more professional once again helped me overcome some big inner barriers. For instance, this past fall, I attended a conference for people in a profession I was once involved in (and might be again). Because of these clothing gifts (and a few things I purchased on my own), I was able to go to that conference with much more confidence. feeling appropriately dressed. So if it helps your joy, think about people like me as you pass these items on. The clothing items I received free (or was able to purchase at a reasonable price) were big blessings for me!

Good morning everyone. It is sunny here today and I really want to finish some out side projects but have to wait until it warms, still only 25 degrees, with wind chill, 18 degrees. Frozen toes, so have to do some stuff in here. I hauled all the pants out here in living room, and there is a tall pile. It is good to have all in one place so I can see the extent of the excess. I have a full length mirror ready for fashion show, it is too cold in here to take off clothes, so thought I would write on here for a minute. I keep having the visual of Dianne fist clenching things that could be shared with others, and slowly letting the clench relax and choosing joy and not anxiety over letting go of excess clothes. Helps to visualize people finding my good clothes at thrift store, and helping them to have good wearable clothes. We will see----------very difficult to let go, it just takes effort to change my thinking.
Having so much stuff takes too much time, to find what I want, to shuffle it around, and this is after I have gotten rid of so much stuff, time for another round of give aways.

Hi everyone, yes LR that is a big deal not buying things to be nice to yourself. Tillie I missed you too, and am with you on staying inside, kept trying to go out but wind was too much. I did put the new gutter up on the wall over deck that I painted, looks so much better than the duct taped plastic thing I had up before. Did a few other small things outside. Got all dishes done and put away. Cooked chicken breasts today, enough to make soup, eat some today. Hauled lots of firewood up to deck, have a fire going now.
Tillie, in your honor started fashion show. Picked all the scarves I still like and hung them neatly on scarf hanger by color. arranged all tops in closet by color, spring, summer. Took all pants out. Most are too big now. It is difficult to decide on what to keep, not knowing if this unexpected weight loss is permanent or temporary. My plan is to try to find some that fit well enough to have some pants to wear. I have only been wearing yoga pants and athletic pants that stretch, so when tried on pants to wear in public, had trouble finding anything to wear. By separating them by size, I won;'t waste time looking for pants in future. My plan is Nito sort ones I like and have been wearing up until this winter, by size and store the ones by size, and after 6 months or a year, if I still can't wear them, will donate. I will either toss or donate the ones I am going to get rid of tomorrow when I finish trying on. Nice reading what you have been getting accomplished.

Good. That worked. So here's my post. Since it's late, I'll say something I did rather than what I plan to do. I was invited by a friend to one of those home parties where you get the chance to buy something from a certain company's product line. (I like the company's products.) I can't go to the party. In the past, I would have ordered something anyway "just to be nice." But I decided to be nice to myself and not follow that old pattern. I don't really need anything new from that company, and I don't need to add to my "stuff" just to "be nice." I can be nicer to everyone in the world (including myself) when I get to the point of having far less stuff.

For me today, this was a big deal.

Hi. I'm one of the "new faces" from Sunday night. And "what I am doing today" (at least right now) is learning how to use the message board I was told about last night. Thanks to those of you who pointed it out to me. Since this type of thing (chats, message boards) is new to me, I want to make sure this goes through before writing more.

Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh! (Happy St. Patrick's Day!)

Tonight Inside Edition is airing the update on Kevin McCrary's eviction from his New York apartment for hoarding. This makes me so sad.
I have a childhood friend whose husband went to school with Kevin. My friend talked with Kevin last week. He was living on the street and not doing well.

I was working outside and lost track of time and missed chat, first time in a year I think. Thanks tillie for the reminders. I came in and was too hungry tonight, so was great seeing your note. It was really windy today, but warm enough to get work done outside. Supposed to rain tonight and tomorrow, so will plan to do dishes and cook tomorrow. Need to vacuum from all the dirt tracked in from going in and out of here so much past few days. I bought a head set to plug into phone so I can take phone calls and keep working. I realized I was not calling people back because I would have to stop painting or whatever I was doing. I have taken a few phone calls using headset and it makes a world of difference. Opens a whole new world. I was resentful when people called and I could hear them cooking and doing dishes etc. as I sat holding the phone to my ear, now I can listen patiently, because I can continue doing what I am enjoying while they talk. Today I took 2 hours and met a friend in the park by the river, we went for a nice walk along the river, my first walk in ages. I wrapped my toes in tape so I could walk, still damaged from frost bite. It was so great enjoying nature, I realized how important it is for me to go to park more often, wonderful nature and few people along river. I felt so grounded being in nature.

Good morning :)

Hi Jess :)
WAY TO GO!!!
For everything you wrote about!!! :D
Having a great time on your trip and decluttering the old stored bins and making that offer on the house!!! :D

Hi Diane :)
WAY TO GO!!!
with keeping up with all you have been doing! :D
Remember to take regular breaks and to eat and to quit before you get burned out. (((HUGS)))

Hi Karl :)
WAY TO GO!!!!
getting stuff into storage and for decluttering that box! :D

Hi Roxie :D
Hi Sandy :D
Hi Dave :D
Hi Barb :D
Hi Dianne :D
Hi Cory :D
Hi everybody :D

Busy day for me today...
Outside to do some yard work then back inside to do some house work then need to figure out how to get the bluray player to play now that it's on a different internet connection thingie.
Looking forward to Sunday night online support group. :D

Today I finished painting the walls of the trailer and add on that surround the big part of the deck. Since I had to sand some of it and remove globs of caulk from around the windows, it took lots longer than planned, it is done and looks much better. There is still plenty of stuff on deck that is disorganized and needs to be moved or given away. I was able to fill one trash bag with lots of stuff I had to talk myself into tossing today. I was aware of my usual thinking, I can use it again, mentality. Had to tell myself, it is used and time to go into trash. I did get frustrated when I was trying to organize, then I said, you can not organize a hoard, time to make decisions. Lucky for me, it got dark before I got it done. I was tired and will do better in the morning.

I'm back from my trip! Had such a great time with the kids and the rest of the family. I'll have to do some reading to catch up with everyone.

Couple things:
While I was home I cleared everything of mine out of my parents house. They had bins of mine stored in their basement and I figured since I was making progress I should tackle that. I am keeping one bin and donating the rest.

We put an offer on a house and it was accepted! Currently waiting on the inspection report and the appraisal and all that. Could close as early as May. *Head spinning* It's exciting though, even though I'm terrified haha

Hope everyone is doing well. I missed seeing what you're all up to!

HI :)

Something went bad that makes the internet connection work.
He finally found the "spare" thing out in the garage and got that hooked up but then my computer had to be told about the "new" thing.
Anyways.....
I have my internet again. :D
Hope this "new" thrift shop thing lasts longer than the last "new" thrift shop thing.
He is always buying old, used or not working electronics saying
"maybe I can fix it."

Read all your posts and am wishing you all peace and comforting embraces. (((hugs)))

Karl,

I just read back through your recent posts. I am sorry you didn't get the place with Landlady Anna. Do you still have the option with Landlady Susan? I am praying for you that you find a great new place to live.

Today my daughter and I will go to a funeral that should not be happening. A boy who went to school with my daughter was killed on Wednesday after he and his cousin found an unsecured gun in the home. The cousin fired the gun, and the 11-year-old was killed instantly. I think adults must never ever leave unlocked guns where children can find them and use them. This is such a tragedy. This boy will never get the chance to grow up and live a wonderful life.

Dianne,

I really understand the grudging feelings about letting things go that way. (Just for grins, if you want to, make a note, and post back in a week how you are feeling about those things.)

Several years ago a niece was at my parents house. I told them she could go through my closet (which still had a little clothing in it) and take whatever she wanted. She took a cowboy hat and a necktie. The cowboy hat was something I had bought on a visit to a college friend, I think the necktie was a wide, brown velour number with multiple colored polka dots. And I was going grump, grump, grump to myself.

I had forgotten about that, your post reminded me. As I write; the grump, grump, grump residual is still there. However; for the humor of today, if I had those items in my hands right now...

For the tie, I would have to say that it is totally useless to me as anything I would wear now (and probably was the same the day I bought it).

For the hat, I would have to say that I never wear a cowboy hat (except for an old beat up one I use for summer yard work) and I can't remember any more about that old friend with it than I could without it.

I would have to put them both in the donation box. :) :) :)

And that, in a nutshell, is the story of many many "valuable" things I've saved for more years than I'm going to tell you!

Thanks Barb.

It seems that I have once again sort of pushed against the boundaries of the site. Please forgive me if I have already been offensive in some way.

I know that to turn and start discarding, rather than continuing to gather, is very difficult and I commend you for the progress you have made.

I pray that you will continue to have strength, vision and insight to enable your continued progress towards your goal of a clean, clear and pleasant place in which to live.

Dave:
Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I have a mental health counselor I know and trust. She and I meet regularly to discuss all of the emotions and issues and how to deal with them.
I use this site for peer support. Being able to share daily and receive encouragement for my efforts and progress is priceless.
So far, we have not tried to analyze, judge, or criticize each other. It is a safe place.
Let's keep it that way.

Good morning! :D
So wonderful to read all your posts! :D
Time of the year when I start swapping out Winter stuff for Spring stuff.
I go through all linens, blankets, comforters and gather up the stuff that has seen better days and get these things bagged and off to the animal shelter.
Doesn't matter if the stuff has tears or rips or stains, the animals really appreciate having a blanket to sleep on.
Old dish towels, wash cloths and bath towels are used there too. Lots of daily washing up goes on there.
Due to the generous people who donate to the charity thrifs shops in my area I am always able to find lovely replacements for that which I have let go.
I have discovered that the universe does keep things in balance.
By letting go, sharing, I always receive.

Barb,

After reading one of your yesterday posts, I think I see something that is being one of the barriers to you getting where you want to be.

I am hesitant to speak to it because it is a personal thing and this is a public forum.

Knowing that, if it's something you want to pursue a little, let me know and I will try to think of a gentle way to touch an edge of it for you.

(but probably not today because I need to be on to some other things at the moment.)

Whoohoo, Sandy. I am so happy that you got the main living areas of your house uncluttered and manageable and that you were able to calmly and rationally deal with the authorities.
Your progress gives the rest of us encouragement.

Dave: Scott contacted me by email this morning wanting to know where I am in the process as he is scheduling cleanup appointments. Last June, I put myself on a rigorous weekly schedule and was able to get a lot accomplished. I want to do what I can on my own before I have others in to help.
I have 8 weeks before I go on vacation. At the end of the 8 weeks, I will evaluate where I am in the process and whether or not I will need help to get this knocked out.
Giving up control and having others discard my possessions is going to be an emotional and anxiety provoking experience. My counselor has said she will not participate. (This is because of guidelines for patient contact mandated by her employer.)
My family is unwilling to participate. I really do need to find someone I know and trust to be here on cleanup day.
I have yet to take pictures. I am procrastinating to avoid looking at the situation as it really is and to avoid sharing it with others.

Barb, forgive me if I'm mixing you with someone else. I don't know where to look to find the posts I'm thinking about.

As spring is approaching, have you done more consideration about renewing the approach to Scott for help?

Sandy,

What a marvelous change in your life and what an encouraging story for us.

Thank you for taking the time to post.

Good morning to all. I have not posted in awhile. I have some good news. I am a hoarder, and for the past 6 months I have been working steadily on cleanup. My efforts have paid off. I moved my daughter into her new room upstairs two months ago and she had a nice sleepover birthday party with her friends in our house. By that time my entire house was clean and uncluttered except for my bedroom and the extra back bedroom, which I have been using for storage. My bedroom is usable for me, but it is still cluttered, as is the storage room.

Then a week ago I got a knock on the door. A lady from child protective services said they had gotten a call from someone saying that our cats are a potential danger to my child (12 years old). I was worried that she would say we had to get rid of our cats, most of whom live in the back yard inside a cat fence with the garage as their shelter. They are all spayed and neutered and are well cared for, but someone obviously thought they were a hazard. The protective services lady seemed not very understanding about cats and skeptical of my explanation that they are not a danger to my child and are not a problem. She made an appointment to come back and interview my daughter and me and look around the house. The house was already clean, and I hired a house cleaner just to make sure. The cleaner made the house look great for her appointment.

The lady came for the appointment this past Monday, and she said at the start of the interview she was not going to be convinced that 10 cats living in the back yard are okay. Then she interviewed my daughter, and from this interview she was in fact convinced that our 10 cats are okay. My daughter explained to her how the cats live, how we live, how clean the house is, how much she loves the cats. The lady left saying that the house is clean and in good condition, my daughter is obviously cared for and not neglected, and the cats are not a hazard. I gave her the number of a man who runs a local spay and neuter clinic who can explain the care of feral cats and the practice of trap, neuter, and return. The lady said she would call him just to learn more about this topic. The whole experience was a great success. The lady never looked in my bedroom or my extra storage room, which she might have found unacceptable, though my child does not use these rooms. The lady was interested in the overall cleanliness of the house, whether we have heat and food and running water and a functional bathroom, and whether my daughter has a clean room of her own. She was impressed.

I am so glad I made a big effort to clean out the house months before this happened. My house used to be somewhat hazardous, I think, because it was cluttered. But my cleanup efforts have eliminated most of the clutter, except from those two back rooms. I will have to stay on top of the cleaning, of course. I may have a clean house, but there is still a hoarder inside of me. And with the cats living in the yard, I think I am always at risk of having child protective services called again and having them come back. Plenty of people do not like cats and may think my back yard cats are a danger, which they are not.

Virtual piece of pie to all in honor of pi day.

Hi Darci,

I know finding that right little trigger to pop out of doldrums can be difficult. I am glad you found something that worked for you.

I pray that your illness will soon abate and you can be back on task turning the pictures in your head into cleaned out reality around you.

My last reply didn't appear to go through, so I am sorry if this is a duplicate. Am in a crunch and trying to staying positive. I am renting out yet another bedroom to make ends meet and needed to clear out about 100 boxes in order to make that happen. Completed 31/100 in the month I had to accomplish this. Kept "falling out" emotionally and physically. The renter called and said he was delayed another 30 days for his move in.... so some reprieve. Needing motivation, I started coming back here, to the chat, personally connecting (thanks Dianne!!) and watching re-runs of Hoarders. Got the "oomph" I needed and ended up bedridden from my illness again. :(
So, here I am barely able to stand for more than 30 minutes at a time and no physical support system within 1000 miles. Trying not to be overwhelmed.... so as I write this, I try to look at the positive: that at least now I can purge without impacting the main living areas, that the main living areas are kept very, very clean and uncluttered, and that after a year of renting out rooms to become debt free that the house will be really spacious after I can reclaim those bedrooms. just have to keep this positive vision alive in my heart and head...

Tillie,
Congrats on yard work. I don't get to do some outside stuff until I complete some other chores.