Lol! - it us the MOON that is beautiful. I don't know how it got changed to "monk".

Good morning.

I am feeling very resistant to the world.

Last night Dd asked me to get her vitamins on the way to give Bean his basket (I did that, it was ok.) I'm thinking I am soon going to get back all the things I don't want (parent conferences, social obligations, in person business transactions, people standing too close, people dropping by unannounced, my inlaws...) plus medical appointments (neutral - dislike but need) without getting back most of the few things I do want (all my kids in person, feeling safe in thrift stores, feeling safe at art fairs....)

I was reading an article this morning about end of pandemic fatigue and the author said that she didn't think there was anyone in the world who cannot say that this was the worst year of their life. She has a very limited world view. Aside from the obvious survivors of wars, atrocities, natural disasters, debilitating illnesses, and violent acts, there is me. Not even close to worst. There were 4 years of high school, there was the year I struggled with undiagnosed clinical depression, there was the year the hoarding tipped into completely out of control and the basement flooded and I sat in the water and cried, there was the year I realized I had to move because my neighbor was making me so miserable I realized I might be capable of watching him die and not intervening, there were the years my grandfather died and the year my grandmother died... I'm sure there were other "regular" years that were worse than this. This past year wasn't even in the top 20% of worst years of my life! I had 8 REALLY hard weeks, and the rest of it has been ups and downs.

Anyway, we had a lovely time with Bean last night. He liked his goodies - no super hits, but he seems interested in everything. The green spotted wooden egg was the best.

Today I have a ton of farm work to do, but it is still a little cold, so I am being lazy. I did chores and started the dishwasher. Bean and the kids might come over tomorrow.

Well I feel silly... I posted on the old thread and didn't notice this new one until now. So here is what I posted:

hello all,

I can't remember when I last posted, but I thought of you when I finally gave away a shelf today. It was a hard give. My husband and I bought it when I was pregnant with our daughter, and he hung it in her nursery. It looked so beautiful in there, white against the lilac colored walls, with teddy bears and things on it. She is a teen now and we took it down to paint her room, and she said she didn't want it anymore. I wanted to hang it in the guest room, but then offered it to my daughter in law for my granddaughter's room. It's not a cheap shelf. It has 4 cubbies and 4 silver hooks. She said yes, took it, and kept it in a spare room for 6 months and then told me they decided not to hang it and did I want it back? Well I said yes, because it reminds me of my baby girl and I wanted it in my granddaughter's room, plus it was expensive so at least I could sell it. I put it in a bedroom and then my daughter apparently spilled water which it sat in when she didn't wipe it up. I went in today and the paint is peeling off and I needed to declutter that room (getting really hoarded up). I posted it online for free and someone came to get it within an hour. That is progress.

I am trying so hard to declutter but almost every item I look at, I can't bear to get rid of. I see some use for it. It has a memory. Ugh, I am so tired of the clutter.

Hi SubC

I can relate. I don't think this was my worst year. I feel that some things have been positive or maybe I've made them positive. I can't think on a worst year in my life. I remember hard times and difficult times but I've been fairly good in not looping them into a calendar. Yes I hear you on high school. It was miserable. I don't know if I told you this but I came across a yearbook and I couldn't believe how happy I looked.

I am not looking forward to getting dressed and going to the office again. Now that I am in management, I'm thinking of letting my professional team work from home full-time instead of coming in two days a week. My administrative staff will need to come in everyday. But I'm getting ahead of myself on this. I've inherited a big mess that needs some real and creative solutions before I worry about people's schedules. We do not have a return to work date. They say not before June 1. No other details.

Well I will shower and get dressed and run some errands.

GREAT work, Lila! WTG! Yours is the only post I've read so I'll check back in later. Have a house guest so I'm busy.

Checking in. I did some errands and now have to do a few more. I bought coffee cakes for the staff at mom's tomorrow to enjoy for Easter.

We are picking up dinner in the afternoon then coming here. House is perfect after my ladies were here yesterday. I wish I could have them every ten days. Every week seems piggy.

I have to find a way to get rid of more stuff. I don't know where I should be working although I know my friend is going to tackle the dining room closet with me some more. I have to find a way to reduce. I want shelf space.

Lila, we do that all the time. Thanks for bringing it over.

Fantastic job on the shelf! It is so hard when things get tangled up with our memories and emotions. That is a really big one for me.

Don't give up! How are you doing at stopping the things coming in?

I spent most of yesterday with Bean. After reading the cdc guidelines, dd decided that it was ok for us to be around them and in their house unmasked since they have no known exposure and no symptoms. So I got to come over and play with him while his parents did yard work. I took him a wooden xylophone from the music bin in the basement (actually, I took a whole bag of music things, but they let him keep the xylophone. - the rest came home with me.)

My raspberry canes arrived early in the morning, so I planted those before I went, and my strawberries arrived while I was gone, so those are the task of the day. Right now it is very muddy because it rained hard all night. It is still raining, but less hard and supposed to be done in an hour or two.

I also need to get the bucks out on new pasture today.

Yesterday I did run one load of dishes, and I will try to do another and some laundry while the weather is bad. I was tired and slept late today.

Tatoulia,

The coffee cakes are very sweet if you. I think if your ladies are available every week and you want and can afford them, you should have them.

Good luck sorting out your people.

Today I planned to do way too many things. But I did some of them- cleaned out the woodstove because we are done with fires for the year (I hope) vaccinated and disbudded the two little bucklings, planted and mulched one bed of strawberries (I had all 4 on my list) cleared some briars away from one side of the greenhouse (thought I was going to do all 3).

I also thought I was going to work on cleaning up the house, groom the bunnies, repot the tomatoes, and move them and the peppers to the greenhouse.

Maybe I'll do some of the other stuff tomorrow.

I am better at not bringing things in. I bought a lot of dog chews and treats but they are getting consumed pretty quickly.

I am watching Hoarders because it makes me want to clean. I want to be a success story. I am tired of it. I look at the huge piles and think "I can do this, I want to get rid of stuff!" but when I get down to individual items it is a standstill. How do you get past it??

My goal this week is to sell the papasan chair I bought for my daughter. They are SO expensive and she wanted one for so long. I finally got her one, it was close to $200 with the cushion and is a nice one. But it is huge and took up too much space in her room. We moved it to the living room but it takes up a lot of space and the dog just kept getting in it and then she didn't want to sit in it covered in dog hair. Now it has been in "storage" (son's room) for years. I think I am finally done. I am going to take pictures and sell it. It is a huge space issue and once that is gone I will look for the next large item I can get rid of. The bigger things leaving make me feel a lot more accomplished than some tiny item that makes no visible difference in a room.

What are you all working on as far as decluttering goes?

Good morning!

Happy Easter!

Bean is coming over this afternoon and I will be working in the yard this morning. It is a beautiful day!

Have had breakfast and need to get ready for platelets. Will call first since I didn't get my usual confirmation but my app says I'm on the schedule.

Very cold and windy today. But bright sunshine.

Good morning
Happy (belated) spring!
I worked outside yesterday and my daffodils have started blooming.

Tatoulia,
Yay for getting to spend time with your friend!

Also great news on your promotion coming through! I hope that the "decent pay boost" means you get to have your cleaning fairies every week!

We just got the great news that ds will get a shot at work on Tuesday! (Don't know which shot yet)

We did go to the gallery on Friday. I think it was a good thing for me to do. Not too many people and all wearing masks and the door was open with a light breeze. I wish it would have been one week later so I was out of my waiting period, but I hugged Dh cousin. That felt weird, but nice.

Dh cousin is a ceramicist, so the people were comfortable people for me to be around. (In relation to my regular social issues, as opposed to all the revulsion to people brought on by the apocalypse.)

We bought an art piece that I really like and Dh cousin gifted us two really pretty mugs. He also invited us to come visit his family (in a nearby state) when this is over. We all stood close together with our masks on and took a picture to send to his mom. I was glad we made it to the show, because his mom had told him we were coming and he was looking for us.

I did melt down yesterday when I couldn't find an important piece of paper (still can't). The voices in my head started telling me how bad I am at life and that any progress I think I've made is just an illusion and really I've just shifted the problems around and stopped paying attention to them and my house is dirty, and there are piles all over the place and I'm behind on dishes and laundry, and any minute people are going to expect a return to normal engagement with life and I am going to crash and fail miserably.

Then Dh put me in the truck and drove me down the road to buy hay and straw from the neighbor who told me he hadn't seen me in so long he thought I moved.

Today I am going to work outside again. And spend one hour (probably not in a row) on dishes and the scullery.

Okay I'm on my own here but I do hope that other people stop by when they can!

Platelets went okay. I just learned that my mother is out of personal products so I have to go to the pharmacy. Not what I want to be doing. But I just said that I'd head out in an hour. And I think my hour is coming to a close.

I have a bag of recycling ready to go. I would love to do some laundry tonight. It piles up fairly quickly around here, esp in the pandemic.

What are you doing today?!?

Coffee clinks.

I lost yesterday. I don't know why. The weather was nice, but I was just tired and couldn't get moving.

I think part of it may have been the stress let down from going to get the hay. That had loomed larger and larger until it became pretty overwhelming.

I did make some Improvement in the scullery, but not a full hour. I also spent some time outside, but I didn't get work done.

Today I get Bean again! I think we may actually be going to the original plan of I get him every Monday!

My dsil sent me a link last night to wonderful information. There is a new recycling/reuse center opening in the city in April that takes pretty much everything! All the food packaging I have been saving to take to ds's house (I'm up to 5 grocery bags) plus other food packaging I've been throwing away! My trash is going to be down to Dh used razor blades and a few personal hygiene/animal medicine items.

I am excited that the world is adapting itself to me. ("The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw.)

Will do! Thank you for the reminder, SubC. I a so worried about Tillie.

The paint in the hallway is very pale, a color called Borrowed Light by Farrow and Ball. One coat is in now. Hard to see the color. It will be easier to see tomorrow after the second coat goes on.

Yay for basement work!

CM, Take your vitamin!

Got my shot Friday. Arm very sore but not as bad as last time. Mild headache and queezy tummy - like carsickness.

Finished getting a second bed ready for my strawberries. Moved some iris plants, and planted some luffa seeds. The luffas may not grow - they are old.

Spring break this week, but a lot to do!

That was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions you felt, SubC. A very rewarding and positive day with some negative feelings. I think the positives far outweighed the negatives and I hope you feel the same way.

We had very sunny and bordering on warm weather yesterday. BF had family in from NY and I minded the store together with an employee for the entire afternoon. I like this employee a lot and I haven't spent any time with her lately. She has only worked one other day all year. She didn't know that Tigger was gone so I told her. I know BF couldn't find a way to tell her. She was able to quickly shift from sadness to talking about the beautiful life he had.

I was able to do two loads of laundry yesterday. I have more to do but at least I got those done.

I may have mentioned this but the only friend who I told about my promotion sent me flowers on Saturday. They are beautiful and will look lovely when my friend comes here on Wednesday.

Since the cleaners are coming today, I need to quickly look alive. It's messy here. I am not the person who cleans for the cleaners, but I did let stuff pile up here. Want to get the most out of their time here!

Hi

Got the old rickety metal shelving unit to the DAV today and roommate got her first Covid shot - her workplace was giving them.

Looks like the weather will be not as rainy here until maybe Friday. And though cloudy, up to as high as 80 on Wednesday! So I can do whatever - storage, vine pulling, you name it. My quilting has resumed on Tuesday afternoons now, and my holy hour at 1:00 on Wednesdays. I also hope to go down in the quilting room around those and do the tasks that I need a bigger workspace to do than what's available here at the house.

So I'll play it by ear - storage unit is high on the priority list while the weather is optimal for that. Quilting I can always do during the hotter weather, as the church basement is nice and cool.

Hope also to do some crafts, maybe I mentioned that already, that the bunny club can sell. I'll do those out on the patio here when it's nice. Looking forward to the Daylight Savings switch and longer useable time in the afternoon into evening - especially before mosquitoes get plentiful.

Bunny club has a public event the 14th, with precautionary measures. We've gotten in a lot of white rabbits that need homes, so we're playing the Alice In Wonderland White Rabbit/March Hare angle.

Keeping an eye out for when and where I might get a Covid shot one of these days. The public library is going to open up a few more things this coming week - allowing computer usage with distanced workspaces, and browsing the stacks. Still no group rooms or donations to the used book shop. There will be times when I will make judicious use of that, as especially with my roommate home and talking I can't do some of the things on the computer as well, and sometimes it's good for my focus to be away from here. But I'll be sensible and judicious in my use of the public facility.

Good to hear of your gardening, SubC! And yay for second shot! I'm still loitering by my pharmacy for an extra dose. Our state also has a sign up program so I'm doing that.

I'm up, have had one cup of coffee. Will have a second and breakfast then off to goodwill. I need to drive my car. It's been a while. Have been driving BFs.

SubC I hadn't seen your most recent post-I was commenting on the gallery, etc.

Great work, CM, so proud of you!

It is my birthday and I am going to go shower and get ready to go to the museum. I need to straighten up a bit because Bf and I will have dinner here later.

The gardening may be getting out of hand.

I was trying to decide what to do with the wet, shady side of the barn. My brain suggested "what about fiddlehead ferns?" I thought "good idea!"

It is sunny. I am manic. Dh is not home.

I came inside and looked online - if I buy the ferns individually, they are at least $6 each. 60 feet of barn, one fern every 2 feet = 30 ferns. $180 😮

So I kept looking - 100 ferns wholesale - $112 including shipping!

I bought them!

Now I will have to plant 100 ferns. 🤭

Almost done preparing the third strawberry bed. (I have five to reclaim, but wisely only ordered enough strawberries for three - back when the weather was bad and I wasn't manic.)

Hello.

Had a great day with Bean today!

Also, Meadow the goat had twin bucklings. Not excited that they are boys, but they are healthy and strong. And soon I will have milk again.

One of my kids got a new therapist, which I think sounds promising.

tomorrow is school again, which will be hard because it is a transition and also I have gotten used to being home all the time again, but it will, feel good once I make it to the classroom.

Now the bad stuff, feel free to skip. First is people and second is a farm thing that may have a sad outcome

People - my friend whose son is STILL awaiting trial for murder - her daughter attempted suicide. But it is not all bad because she lived and is getting help.

Farm - one of my older goats is bred and due on the 15th. she started losing weight three weeks ago and is horrible thin. I cannot get weight on her no matter what I do (she has been treated medically) and I am pretty sure she is going to die. If she lives past the 6th, the baby has a chance, but it is unlikely. I milked out colostrum from the goat who kidded tonight for emergency care for the baby just in case.

Happy Birthday, Tatoulia! 🎂🍨🎁

Well, after I posted yesterday I went to storage and did a bit of book sorting. But also was in a box looking for a document I need - but it was partly one of those that was a Box of Sad. It will need to be dealt with but not right yet. I need more good happy progress under my belt first.

Don't know if it was that, something I ate, glare from my phone when my roommate texted me, or what, but shortly thereafter I got an ocular migraine and had to go home while I could still sort of see (slowly and cautiously and off the big streets; it's not too far). Was in bed the rest of the evening. Okay now though.

I refuse to give up! Two big bags and one smaller to goodwill today, including a quick pj drawer clean-out and a nice throw. Some coffee mugs. Good feeling.

Did mom's grocery shopping. I still need to do my own shopping. I get overwhelmed when I'm doing both of our shops. I got cat food, litter, etc.m but like to really think before getting my food.

We have a mobile company coming to do our shredding for us. I spoke with the guy today. This keeps me out of the basement having to do this. It's affordable and Bf and I can split the cost. Big relief.

We had a tiny snow squall today and now it's sunny and bright. I was driving and opened up my windows and let the snow come in. Very refreshing. I was driving my car and not BF's. I haven't driven my own car in a long time.

You ladies have been pretty busy. In my own way I have also.

Tatoulia, I hope you enjoy your new job and that it's not stressful. It's nice when someone else who loved one of our Rainbow Bridge animals can reminisce with us and help recall the happy times.

SubC, I'm glad there are good things happening to balance out those that are more trying. I pray the girl gets some help to cope, and if possible a miracle for mama goat and baby.

My roommate is on spring break. We always have a lot to do. The weather is not as cooperative as we'd wish. Still rainy and chilly. I did start a little of my plans for digging out my room. It's been so hard to do organizing in a shared house, and more than ever difficult with her working from home right there in the living room.

If it was just me in the house, I could move my items from the bedroom elsewhere for sorting. But at least I started, and have an idea what I'm dealing with (embarrassed to admit that some stacks I'd forgotten what was in the lower layers 😬 yikes).

So even though the whole business will probably stretch on into next week, I think I can figure out how to proceed. A lot of it is books. Which is a big thing awaiting at the storage unit when I make my next big push there. The books here are pretty likely keepers, they are ones I hope to read very soon, and they have to do with my interests dear to my heart. But in the storage I'll probably find books to let go. And other items.

It looks as though the last week of March may be sunnier here. But 10-day forecasts must be taken with a grain of salt.

Thank you! Cm I am so sorry about the migraine. Glad you are better now.

We cross posted, SubC! Yay for the terms! A lot of ferns!

Good morning!

CM, you made so much progress that you got all the way down to layers from so long ago you couldn't remember! Nice job!

Good luck with your books.

All three of my bio kids got their first shot yesterday! (My governor threw a tantrum and told pharmacies if they have open appointments less than a week out to let anyone take them.) dsil gets his today!

And research shows that breastfeeding vaccinated moms pass immunity to their babies - so Bean will be covered too!

School was good yesterday. I also went to an online seminar about growing blueberries in the morning. One of the things I love about covid is the way it has expanded opportunities to participate in state ag programs. I hope they keep that! In person is better, but the drive is often too long.

I ordered some cooling racks. They are very nice ones that over the years I have bought for all the women in my family except me. I thought about that as I was struggling with my old bent one the other day after making bread, and then I ordered them. They arrived yesterday, so now I just have to wash them and get rid of the old ones.

The musical shaker eggs for Bean's Easter basket also arrived. They are cute.

Wednesday is a long day and I have a lot to do....

Stay safe everyone - the end of the tunnel is still a way off, but it is in sight.

Drive by happy birthday to Tatoulia!

🎈🎉🎂