Hi Tatoulia, thanks for understanding. I mean, I won't claim I don't spend a little money on fun stuff like a doll now and then, so I'm not meaning to sound all wah-wah woe is me like about it. But it is annoying.

And one of the annoying things is simply the memory blank around the entire business. But I suppose that is not just limited to ADHD folk - if everyone remembered everything they did with everything they had or where they went and such, then nobody would accidentally lose anything ever. That'd be nice.

Yesterday around here was crazy. It was my payday, and I had my bill paying and errand running plans ready to go - and then roommate's bunny was having tummy trouble. He rallied within a few hours, thankfully, but it just threw the day off. There were other glitches too. But today is a new day.

The weather is finally nice! I'm hoping to do some work in the storage unit.

I have so many zillion items on my to-do list, which incorporates my own personal goals and goals for the household and yard etc. But as many as I can think of have been jotted down so they won't get forgotten - if I can just remember to look at the list. And some of them from the last couple of days did get accomplished so were able to be deleted. We put roommate's old lawnmower out by the curb and this morning the lawnmower fairy had come and got it.

My church sale is at the end of this month so I will focus on what items can go in boxes to go there. This is shaping up to be a busy month. Roommate will have a followup medical treatment for the stuff from last year - an easier thing, no radioactivity concerns. Toward the end of the month. I'll also have one overnight at the bunny shelter house that week. A single overnight won't be as tiring as an entire weekend.

My sewing group will resume on the 18th. Excellent timing for getting quilt progress made.

Etsy and such - oh yeah, I've thought of selling things I make. My Barbie and other doll clothes I think I'll be able to sell directly on Facebook for one thing, and I hope maybe I can make my own website for my artistic and crafty endeavors. Squarespace or something like that.

The public library has some computers and tables with social distancing, so I'll also be able to get away for some writing and research time when I'm not doing storage unit and stuff around here. I know I need to focus a lot on decluttering, yet I need to maintain a connection with the passions that drive me so I keep in mind the WHY I'm wanting to improve my life. Otherwise decluttering slides back into drudgery and resistance.

Good morning!

I am consciously keeping up with putting things in their homes. And I am overjoyed when I see the open spaces in my closets and kitchen cabinets. My friend did a great job for me, and I am grateful.

Going to be very hot here today. I will use the ac to keep me cool.
Stay hydrated, everyone, and check in when you can!

Hello again! I am feeling encouraged by seeing your progress and acknowledging the journey. I once worked in close proximity to a group of psychologists. One of them said "One of the most important things to convey to a person in crisis is that what they are experiencing is shared by others. It removes the isolation factor that can be so overwhelming."

Knowing there are others on this path is very comforting.

My job is pretty demanding, and my daughter is getting married in September. .

..And a dear friend became ill last week, went to the hospital and was put in ICU with Covid. He's only 62 and looks to be the picture of health. He said no to the ventilator until yesterday - the dr called his wife from the bedside - over FaceTime, told them both his only shot is the ventilator. So I am very sad. To make it even harder - he just retired in March - they drove across the country to live near their daughter. He signed the final papers on the house from his bed in icu. But all of their friends are here on the west coast.

Thanks for the warm welcome! 💕

Thank you for the Behavioral Change link! 🌸

Julie, I am sorry about your friend. Be good to yourself.

That is so true about not being alone. A few years ago I admitted to some friends about the terrible financial position I was in and it turned out that I'm not a failure, a lot of people were experiencing or had experienced financial problems. I'm pleased to say that today I have no consumer debt, I've paid off my mortgage and other than a small loan of under $2400, I am fine. I even have built up the six months emergency fund. I swear this is only because I was honest with myself and honest with others. It unstuck me. I felt paralyzed by the hole I'd dug for myself.

My cleaners came today. I know it's a bit selfish to have them every week but I figure as long as my friend is staying here, we both deserve this.

It was a hot day so I never left my house. Julie, I used to hate summer because it amplified my hatred for the clutter and filth I was living in. Now with a clean and clear house, I no longer have to hate my house and myself.

Going to bed?we've been having thunderstorms and my poor cat has been terrified. Me, too.

Trash and recycling out. Running the dishwasher. Changed kitty's litter box. Washed the sheer curtains in my bedroom. They are only partially back up as my ceilings are very high and my windows are very tall. I used a ladder but not tall enough. I'll get help tomorrow. The drapes in my bedroom are fine. I like to wash the sheers every so often.

That's it for me! Signing off for now.

Okay I'm going to get up and get out. I have a lot of errands to run today.

My goal for the weekend is to do a lot of laundry. It's going to be pouring but I still think that a lot of the people in my building will be gone for the weekend.

Let's see what tomorrow brings. I do have a dress to return. I bought it in two sizes and thankfully the smaller size fit.

Lila reporting in here. It helps me to share my progress, because it helps me see that I actually AM making progress and you encourage me to keep going. Thank you.

We are staying home for the weekend. I just need some time to be quiet. I also need time to work on my bedroom some more. I feel like I have done nothing in there but let me tell you what I HAVE done this week.

I started putting random items from around my bedroom into the two under-bed tubs that I had decluttered. So in one, there are cords, chargers, an old phone on one side, nice water bottles and lids in the middle, and other 'keep' items on the other end. The other bin has a baby book, notebooks and planners that are undated so I can use them later, and there is space for a few more things. I will finish adding things and put them back under my bed today.

I put leashes in a drawer, threw out a few old dog things, threw out one large candle that my kid had dug around in an ruined the wax. Yesterday was trash day and from my bedroom I took out one large bag of trash and 3 small empty boxes. I had things in those boxes but I sorted them out to donate/trash/keep and consolidated. I found a couple items that I gave to my daughter. Threw out a shirt and underwear with holes.

Then I went in my master bathroom and went through drawers and countertop (which is still cluttered) and threw out quite a few things. I still need to sort underneath the sink, make room and put things away.

This morning I took a bunch of boxes of stuff that were on my dining room counter and spread them out on the kitchen table so I can sort, throw out, donate, and consolidate.

See, now that I wrote that out, it looks like I did a LOT this week, and I don't quite feel like such a slug. Thanks!

CM, I did not see your post.

The site is loading oddly for me lately - like it's delayed.

Anyway, I am very sorry about your money. I hope you find it, but if not, maybe you can just tell yourself that the person who found it really really needed it - like for medicine or something.

Almost 30 years ago I was walking home (no gas money) through an empty parking lot one night in December and I found a $20 bill blowing across the lot. Everything closed, no one around... I bought new shoes for work and Dh and I had our whole Christmas on what was left. Now if I lose something I remember how happy I was and tell myself I'm paying it forward.

Congratulations Lila! You are getting things done! I am very happy for you! Great work! Funny how it feels like nothing when it's really a lot! Like we are conditioned to downplay our accomplishments! WTG!

Good to hear from you both!

I did get the bags to goodwill (there were six or seven) then oil change and other car things. Car is ready for my friend to use this week. She has to go get some of her stuff for starting work June 1. I also saw mom today and her tiny cat. So much fun

I'm sorry about losing the money, CM. I still have hope you might find it.

What I would give for one of your popovers, SubC.

Checking in! My new hire started today, so I am pretty excited about that. My friend is coming for dinner. I may go clean out the car for her trip this week. At a minimum I can take the TP to my mother's. I'm sure she's reaching the point where she will need some.

I have to change the litter box and otherwise get ready for dinner. We are having lentils and rice and it will be so delicious. Pineapple for dessert.

🙂Tatoulia

My life is really full right now. I'm trying to work on everything, but one of the things I need to change for a while is less Internet. So, if I don't post for a while don't worry. I might just drop by and give you a highlight or a quick cheer, but if I don't, it's because I need to make better use of my mornings and get offline and go to bed sooner (like now) because I am not getting enough sleep, and that underlies everything.

😘

Thank you for letting me know, SubC, and I applaud your decision! Really thoughtful of you.

Tonight I went to my car and neatened it up for my friend's trip. I visited with bf then went for a short walk. It's 10:02 and I'm ready for bed. My friend came over for dinner tonight. We had lentils and rice. I will miss her tmr night when she's gone to get some of her things.

So I'm alone tmr. I enjoy her company so much. We are having a blast.

Goodnight, all!

Oh no, I hope you find the money CM. I know how that feels.

I kind of hit a standstill the last two days. Not sure why. I have a lot of things on my to do list, outside of decluttering and cleaning. Plus I am trying to focus on my health. But I don't want to stop now.

This evening I will go in there and put things I definitely want to keep into those bins I pulled out from under the bed. I got rid of 75% of the stuff in them (pillows, blankets, scrapbooking supplies) so I can put keeps in there now. That will clear up the space for more sorting later this week.

I am amazed how part of my still wants to keep everything, ALL of it, and another part wants to get rid of most of it. Those two parts are fighting all the time.

Lila, you might find this interesting - people progress through different stages in making life changes. I would add that it's not always a neat, linear progression in real life.

Decluttering is a complicated undertaking or we probably would've already done it. There are obstacles to be overcome such as financial and practical (having a staging area, time and energy, etc.)

So we must continue to be patient with the process.

Transtheoretical Model of Change

Hello and good morning, all! Lila you are doing a great job! You are able to let go of things! Good to say goodbye! I swear you will feel lighter and better about yourself. For me, it's not so much that I feel lighter but I feel less heavy. I express it in terms of lightness but in truth I'm getting rid of what is weighing me down. Not sure if I'm babbling.

Just get it out of the house when you can! It gets easier! There is a push-pull and that's fine.

Cm thank you for the analysis and the link. All of this is so helpful.

Okay back to work for me,

Lila, we don't know where Tillie is.

She was ill, and she has not answered Cory. We would like to think that she has gone to Nate's or has some computer access issue, but I will be honest, the longer she is gone, the more I worry that she has gone to be with her grandmother. It is not like her to leave us.

You made progress! I think the trash bag is fine. Just tape the puzzles closed and be sure you don't load the bag so much that the corners poke holes.

Sometimes I just load the things loose into the back of my car and then take them out straight into the bin at goodwill (it is a commercial laundry hamper on wheels.)

I'm sure the dogs will be happy to help you. - lol!

Tatoulia, you are a really good friend to co-sign! I am still amazed at what you are doing. Will there be any pictures? I haven't looked for a long time.

CM, I am sorry, no music this year.

Getting rid of barbies is big! I am proud of you for meeting your storage unit goals. It won't rain forever.

I am not meeting my goals, but I am doing ok. I just get so tired. Graduation tomorrow, two more weeks of school, inlaws and kids pile in for the weekend, a week to do evaluations, and then I get to breathe!

I just read that 24% of current covid cases are in children. This is why I am paranoid.

I guess today is my day of posting.

I have an issue I want to work through, and it is games. When my kids were young, we bought a lot of board games. I hate board games! But I thought it was one of those things a good mother should do. I especially hate Monopoly (ohhh torture!) So we had all the games in the coat closet, and we played them once in awhile and the kids played them with friends.

A few years ago I got rid of most of the games and puzzles. I saved some and then people gave me a couple more. The "little kid" games like Candyland are in the play room and not bothering me - I will play those with my grandkids who are toddler/preschool age now. But the games in the coat closet are just taking up half the shelf space. There are newish games I have never plays and probably never want to play. I sometimes think, oh, I will get out that puzzle and do it with my kids at Christmas. Or, I will have friends over and play. But I hate games!! The only game I like is Scrabble.

What would you do? I am leaning towards donating all but the scrabble and monopoly (sometimes my teen's friends would play that one with them) and maybe one more, and a puzzle for a young child. Donate the rest. But for some reason I feel guilt over doing that.

Lila, I love games!

We have far too many games. My kids play some of them and play with me as well, but not many. Dh will not play games with me. He never played them as a kid because his mother hated to lose. Apparently she got grumpy an unpleasant if anyone - even one of the kids - beat her.

And yet, I have an entire bedroom closet full of games. I hope bean will play with me some day.
That said - I think you should donate the games! If no one in your house will play them, pass them on to new homes where they will be enjoyed!

My paternal grandmother had two games at her house. Uncle wiggly and something with pieces that looked like elephants. We played them all the time. I loved the elephants. My grandfather's second wife gave them both to my cousins because my cousins were little, and they immediately destroyed the games and lost the pieces because they were not raised to take care of things. My aunt found it easier to throw things away and buy new and they could afford to.

My dad got me an uncle wiggly game for Christmas when I had kids at home, but I have never remembered the name of the elephant game.

But anyway, two games was enough. What is important is to have something you like to do with your grandkids. When you gave your friends over, you should do something you all like.

Thank you Subclinical. You make good points. One thing is I never have friends over, due to the mess. When I do have friends over we eat, talk, watch movies. I can see where games would be more fun but I never had fun with games as a child so... I dunno.

I took out a brand new Cranium game and a new cat puzzle to give to a couple I know who loves games, puzzles, and cats.

I went in my room and finished putting the shoes on my new rack, vacuumed, and sorted a cabinet with dog things in it. I put a few items away in there, put a few in the donate box, and threw a couple old things away. Then I put some items on the top shelf of the shoe rack. It looks very nice and neat in my closet now - better than it has looked in years.

I bagged up 2 new pillows that were in a tub under my bed for TWENTY YEARS. I just, wow. They are still like new and I never used them since they are the wrong color for my house. It felt good to bag them up with 2 other pillows to donate. My floor by my closet, which was covered in junk making it impossible to get to the closet, in almost clear.

I have a wooden stool there and I think one of my kids made it for me. I can't give that away. Maybe my grandchild's daddy made it, and if so he might like it for her to stand on to brush her teeth. I will ask him.

You are doing great Lila! I'm in awe! Your thought-process is sound and you are making decisions! Good work! SubC very good advice!

Hi 🙂

I am a hoarder and I come from a family (4 siblings and a mom still) of hoarders. I want desperately to find a path out of this.

I am 57, I have a great job and have been married to a fantastic partner for over 20 years. Twenty years that he has had to bear the weight of my issue with keeping sooo much stuff.

Other than my family members, no one I know deals with this. They all have beautiful homes and somehow they just get rid of things.

About 6 months ago, I had promised my dh that I would go through a box (there are maybe 75). I forced myself to keep doing it as I got more and more stressed and upset. By the time I finished, I was shaking and crying and had a terrible headache.

I really haven't tried to jump back in since then. I've done little things since then but I've got to figure this out.

PS I have two grown kids that do not struggle with this.

Checking in! I'm up early (for me) and I'm going to go to goodwill for a drop off and then I'm going to try to get an oil change. My friend is going to need my car this week.

My friend now has a job and an apartment. All confirmed! July 1st for apt.

Okay I'll keep you posted. These are two very big To Dos esp since I hate anything to do with car maintenance.

Julie! Welcome! We can help you!

Yes this is tough and hard. I Know this is foolish but be sure to eat properly and drink enough water. And you got through one box! Amazing! I'm sorry for the personal toll but I promise you it does get easier. Do you want to set a goal? Like maybe go through another box between now and Sunday? And it's okay to have emotional attachments to things. One thing that has helped me is to realize I don't need emotional attachments to everything. Also, sometimes when I say, oh I love this, I like to correct myself and say, I loved this (past tense) and I can let it go. I can't keep everything that I've ever loved.

We are here to cheer you on and understand the rough times. Very supportive and very caring group here.

Welcome!,

Another setback. 😰

I had $60.00 on Friday and I went out shopping and doing errands. Was going to put the cash in the bank because that works better for me. But then I was making an unanticipated purchase and it was not in my purse. So humiliating to dig around. I just paid with debit card to not hold up the line and get out.

Retraced where I'd been, left my name, looked in van, purse, at home, everywhere I can think of. I pray I didn't just drop it at Walmart and someone else picked it up and kept it. Things like this are so depressing and discouraging for me. They just are like a slap in the face. Like all my micromanaging trying to keep my forgetful brain from tripping me up and still it finds a way. 😡

Thank you!

I can do a box between now and Sunday.

It is nice to know there are others who experience this... It feels crazy to me. ...How I can use logic to develop a strategy (to deal with things) but then something overwhelms my rational brain without my consent.

Is there a certain way to start? I am at a loss. There is a big TJ Maxx bag full of gift bags behind me. They are perfectly good. They shouldn't be there though. And there isn't room for them in any closet. Do normal people keep 20 of those? Or only what will fit in an under bed box? Should I not have 4 bins full of wrapping paper and ribbons and bows?

I also have way too many glass things. Vases and serving platters and fancy dishes. The dining room is unusable because of all that stuff.

Tbh though, clothes are the biggest issue. I'm not really attached - but for some reason I am.

Is there a good starting place?

Good afternoon!

It's hot here!

I pulled weeds and planted a few more tomatoes and a row of beans.

Did a load of dishes and a load of laundry. Made popovers and hard boiled eggs to fix lunch for bean and me tomorrow.

Graduation yesterday was really nice. One of my kids gave a speech that made me cry.

Tatoulia, that is good news about your friend.

I am spoiled about cars. I just say "I need an oil change" and it magically happens. Otoh, Dh has the same trick with clean clothes.

Lila, you are doing an amazing job! I missed your part two post before, but that was great about unpacking the box and having it for things to give away!

Do you think you can finish your closet floor by the end of the month? I bet you could!

Hi Julie!

A good starting place is anywhere you can start.

Maybe some place that will feel satisfying.

I am proud of you for powering through that hard box!

75 is not actually so bad. You fo not want to know how many random boxes I had when I started. Actually, I do not know, but it was hundreds.

I too am motivated by guilt at my long suffering dh's u happiness with the hoard.

How often do you wrap gifts?

Tatoulua, yay for your dishwasher!