Hello everyone! Tillie I started a post this AM but then my lunch dates (friend and her toddler son) were outside and ready for lunch. I did nothing yesterday--lived like a cat--slept til nearly noon (when did I become this person) and after tea and toast I went back to bed. Snoozed, watched movies in Netflix, etc. finally got up yet didn't shower and get out if the house til 8:30 PM. Went over to mom's and was with her as football game finished up. I changed her sheets got her and picked up a little here and there.

Bitsy, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your support and wisdom while trying to help mom. I think you'll be eased to know that she and her social workers got the organizers in their own and they did not tell me. Her apt is so pretty and I took some more donations out last night. Mom sleeps rarely so I stayed til about 11 PM, when the BF stopped by to get me.

Celeste, good to see you posting. I'm generally reading and posting from iPhone and couldn't read the lighter green print. I hope all is well with you.

Nice newsy post, Mel. My goodness a lot of change for you. You are doing great. Dianne, I didn't post all weekend because I didn't do anything around the house.... Til today! I shredded a bag of my brother's papers which I had planned to do but hadn't. I also shredded a bunch of my own and swept up living room and vacuumed living room and den.

Tillie, I am so sorry you've been sick. I've been pretty healthy this year but after dr's appt last week I am on new meds and I dizzy. And having trouble adjusting. Right now I just feel weird and I think I'd prefer the dizziness. I think this will all pass very soon.

Today was holiday at work so nice to have a 3-day weekend. And I am pleased with working on house. I have much less stuff, but I let stuff pile up on the floor and it drives me nuts. I have to still reduce and need help figuring out what else to get rid of. I never followed through with idea of removing everything from bedroom and deciding what goes back. I need to do this. I need to further reduce. I'm good about not getting new stuff, and I go have empty shelf and closet space, but I know I need to do more. Will take all suggestions and hints and ideas. I want to go to next level.

Missing you all.

Tillie, I think what happens is people just move on periodically. Some newcomers drop by but don't stick around. Some regulars get to a point where real life takes up their time.

Mel, I love reading your long updates!! I'm so happy that you are reaping the successes of all your hard work! Hope all went well with the *parent meet*. Sometimes kitties decide not to like someone despite all good attempts. After living and working with over a hundred cats throughout my life I've found that with some it can take literally years before they come to a completely comfortable place. That's not to say you can't live in harmony. But acceptance and love will be on his timetable. I'm glad mama kitty is sweet to you. 🙂 Continue to live a wonderful, balanced life!

Good morning

Looks like the Zombie Apocalypse must have happened while I was away. 🙁

None of my weekend plans got done. Been too sick to get out of bed.
Much better today so I now need to work on cleaning myself up and clean up all the dishes & laundry I have left scattered all around.

Checked into Sunday night online support group last evening and it was the same thing....
nothing but a few lonely tumbleweeds blowing down the lane. 🙁

Hello all, hope everyone is doing well and having a productive weekend!

LR, hope the move went/is going smoothly! Congratulations!!

Tillie, good for you working on will and advanced directives! We went through the process last year of doing all the paperwork with my folks, including setting up a trust. It was a lot of work (and since they set up a trust, it was pretty expensive) but I feel good knowing that they have all the appropriate paperwork completed, that everything has been decided and written down, and if something were to happen, we don't have to worry about it. Also, happy belated birthday!

Diane, great idea to plus the computer into the tv! I'm running on an old laptop myself and last year I spilled water on it. The keyboard doesn't work properly anymore so I decided rather than trying to figure out if I could afford to buy a new laptop, I would just get an external keyboard. It's a little frustrating at times but way cheaper than a new computer!

Dianne, really nice thoughts on life lessons. When I was young, I was picked on, teased, and bullied for many years. I think about that kind of thing a lot. I might post about that separately because my posts are always so enormous even without that 🙂 But I will share my thoughts.

Tatoulia, congratulations about your mom! And good job working on all that shredding!

Celeste, good luck with the folding! Are your kids old enough to help out?

I haven't had time to post recently, tho I have been reading peoples' posts. On the fun side, it was my birthday week this week and I've had lots of fun celebrating. On the not-fun side, there were a series of layoffs at my workplace, and my boss, who was very high up in the company and had been there for 20 years, got fired unexpectedly. We have a newish CEO (been there for a little over a year) and he's been cleaning house since he got here, but since she had made it so long we thought she might be OK. I already had a good working relationship with the person I am now reporting to. He "inherited" several people from the department i've been associated with, and he told me that the person he was most excited to work with was me, so at least I feel like that's a positive thing. Still, it's a huge change, plus I had been working with my boss for 7 years and we had a really good relationship, so I was very sad for her as well.

My boyfriend is taking a couple more classes (he's done with his "core" classes but has a couple of electives to finish up before he graduates in June) so we haven't been doing a lot of cleaning. I've been doing my best to keep up with my stuff, and he shredded three full banker boxes worth of stuff in the past week. Since he's the one who usually gets the cleaning moving, we haven't made a ton of progress in the past couple weeks. However, he did previously finish cleaning out the second bedroom, which was amazing. I can't remember when the room was so clean. He even organized a ton of my CDs into alphabetized stacks. I had major anxiety when he threw out the stuff he had shredded - I didn't think he mixed it up enough, he didn't add yucky fluids to the bags, etc. I know I'm probably being way overly paranoid about it but I've known people who had nightmares with identity theft and it just scares me. I've worked really really hard to build up my credit, and it's not perfect, but it's not bad.

I'm sort of getting adjusted to living with the kitties. The boy kitty does not like me at all, but only shows his displeasure with me if my boyfriend is not around, hissing at me, swatting at me as I walk by, etc. I've tried feeding him, giving him treats, petting him, playing with him - nothing works. The mama kitty is sweet to me and I like her. Unfortunately the kitties aren't keeping the mice out. Or maybe (hopefully) it's just one. We have a "bread drawer" in the kitchen where we store all our bread products. Last week I bought my favorite bread and a few days later I discovered it had been chewed on. I moved all the other bread out of the drawer and put a small trap in there. So far no luck. I don't really have a lot of options. I can't put poison out at all with the cats around (plus I wouldn't want to put poison so close to our food), and I have a trap in the drawer but it's not catching anything. Do I get more traps? Even those I'd have to keep in the drawers since I don't want to hurt the kitties. Thankfully the bread appears to be the only thing being eaten. It even left alone a bag of candies and a different bag of bread.

Today I am planning a trip to the library, possibly taking a friend out to eat, and spending some nice quality time with my boyfriend. Tomorrow his parents are taking us and my parents to breakfast. It will be the first time our parents will meet, so it's a little exciting and scary. My sister dislikes my boyfriend so I'm a little worried my mom will say something about that (I love her but she often puts her foot in her mouth when she's nervous about meeting new people). My dad has parkinson's and alzheimers, so if he's having a bad day tomorrow they're going to stay home. I would like them to meet so I'm hoping he'll be doing ok.

Sorry for always babbling on and on. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Also, Does anyone know if there's maybe a system update or something going on? I have been trying to connect into group chat, to see if anyone's up for a little buddy session today, to motivate me to task. I haven't been able to connect, either phone or computer. Just says says "connecting" for the guest sign-in. Thanks for any feedback.

Hello all,

I hope to tackle some folding of clothes. I have more bagged up clean laundry than I can count...seriously. I then hope, although ambitious, to bag up dirty laundry with all the empty bags. I could do a load of laundry for 365 days just to tackle it, however, all the new dirty would just collect. Soooo...one load drying and another in the washer. The hardest part is putting away the clean before someone knocks it over, and pets lay on it or kids step on it, then it has to be washed anew...again. Maybe I can pack away summer clothes before the season changes, for the 10th year in a row!So that is my plan for today! 🙂

Dianne,
" there comes a time to let go and accept the help that's offered to us. Easier said or written than done. I really, really need to do more work on myself." thanks for putting it into words

Tat,
kudos to your Mom, social worker, and organizers. and you. your Mom deserves some happiness. thank you for giving her love and understanding.

Good morning 🙂

TTYL 🙂

I don't get Netflix so no Hoarders for me. 🙁

Little Christmas trees are still up. I don't turn on the lights because they are so dry. Really need to get those babies down.

WTG! Tatoulia 😀

Hoarders episodes can be very motivating.
I like to put then on the big TV when my hoarder is home and it keeps him from stagnating.
He will go outside just to get away from them. HAHAHA 😀

HI LR2014 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!! for all the hard work you have done.
You continue to be an inspiration to us all. 🙂

Hi Diane 🙂
What I was trying to say is that I have come to accept how my life has changed.
WTG! figuring out how to use the TV as your computer monitor! 😀
Hoping you have been having a GREAT time with your loaner dog. 😀

Dianne,
many decisions/choices we make in our lives were made using the information/knowledge/facts that were available to us at the time we needed to decide/take action.
Later, other factors may have come into play making our decisions of the past the wrong way to have gone.
But at the time, we made the right/best decisions/plans given what we knew then.
Hind sight is always 20/20 but that is no reason to beat ourselves up since we are not fortune tellers or have crystal balls.
JMHO, life is like a roll of the dice, we place our bets and accept the outcome.
But we are allowed to roll the dice again to try to improve the situation.
Even if that just means we need to make a heartfelt apology.

C'est la vie

🙂

Woo hoo is right! I will watch tonight as I shred my papers. Making some decent progress on the trunk of my car, Tillie!

WOOHOO!!!!!

Season one, 15 episodes.

Tillie, thank you for your thoughtful post. It sounds like you are taking stock of your life so far and taking a look at your future. When I turned 50, I had a bit of a crisis, realizing that I've devoted my life to taking care of others and trying to fill their needs. That was very sad to me, but I put the energy into purging my hoard--I was keeping so many things for just in case and buying duplicates in the event some one else needed them. I felt I was reclaiming my life by deciding that I will not be a store or a warehouse for some upcoming need for someone. And that's when I found you. I think that it's tough to face the facts of our own mortality and as hard as it can be, it's good that you are mapping out a course for yourself. It feels sad and good, all at the same time.

Diane, good for you figuring out the TV/monitor situation. LR, you are doing it! Sending you hugs and strength! Dianne, thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I take great strength from everyone here. Thank you.

Hey LR, it's good to hear from you! Congratulations on your move tomorrow! You've worked very hard to get to this point. How long do expect to stay with your friends?

Hi, everybody. Here's a quick checkin. I've been packing boxes, labeling boxes, (donating and tossing . . . but not in mass quantities), packing boxes, labeling boxes, etc. Trying to get moved out of my place this week (hopefully by the end of the day tomorrow, if not before). Most things are going to storage and are fitting into a 10x10 space. I myself am going to be staying with some friends for a while. Bye, bye, excess flooding and crazy-level noise! Whoo-hoo!!! (I'm happy.)

Thanks for your help and encouragement through this process! Hugs to everybody.

Diane, what a smart idea to try the tv screen with the computer!

How is that good boy, Max?

Tillie, I also have been reevaluating my life. Feeling the age.

Good morning
Tillie, I am not sure how to interpret what you are saying. Are you saying your life is about to change? I wish you the best for your happiness, as always.
I finally broke my computer screen trying to make it work, had to push on upper left corner, harder and harder to make it work. I was ready to go buy a new one, when I thought, might as well see if I could plug into tv. Well computer screen was the problem, now can use computer on tv, just not screen attached to puter. It is so much faster to use now that I don't have to twist screen after every word.
I feel like now that puter works, I can rejoin this group and start making my living situation better, without group, seem to let clutter take over. Thank goodness that I had inspiration to try using tv screen for puter. I will soon feel part of this group again, hooray. Now I will read all of your posts and catch up, so happy to have you back in my life.

Good Morning 🙂

Been evaluating my life...
There are no regrets for the things that I have done or chosen not to do.
I am only human and as such the mistakes I have made were to be expected.
Many disappointments as to what some others have done deliberately concerning me.
But through this I have learned so very much about the differences of various types of humans.
There have also been many people who have touched my life in wonderful positive ways.
I will keep my focus on my memories of them.

Time.
None of us know how much time we have here.
I will evaluate my future plans and declutter those plans/things that do not bring me satisfaction, peace, joy.

What possessions will I be leaving behind?
People tend to save the good stuff for some later date, just in case they will regret having used and enjoyed it and no longer have it later.
I say enjoy it today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Eat from the good china, use the good silverware, drink from the crystal goblet, wear the nice clothes.
Should these things break or start to show wear, remember the joy you had using them.

Daily,
look around you
find the beauty
listen to the music
dance
sing

I am going to make up my will and advance directives.
It would be unfair to not have my wishes written down, leaving people to guess as to what I would have wanted.
Been there, done that. It's emotionally quite difficult.

TTYL 🙂

Yes Tat we all are more fortunate than we might realize.

May Hope touch everyone's heart today and bring a smile. 🙂

Oh boy. Both of your daughters sound like wonderful, caring and dear people. Ultimately, even with illness and health problems and hoarding and everything else, we are all so fortunate. Hope and friendship, I heard someone say once, are the true miracles.

You are doing a great job on everything.

Oh my gosh Tat no!! I just saw your other post.

And Tat I wish there were private messages here but since there aren't I have to just post it ~ I really do appreciate you responding to me. {{{hugs}}}

Tat, my married daughter feels the exact same way. She would have some help but decisions and caregiving will fall to her. With her son facing the prospect of more surgery for cp she doesn't need any surprises or added stress from a stubborn mother.

Lots of food for thought here. Thanks Tat!

Not meant to be offensive--not suggesting you will go downhill. Forgive me, I didn't express myself well. Please, Dianne, we all know what a pesky jerky sister I can be!

Dianne, my only advice is to make your decision before you need to. I figure that any move will be unsettling for your eldest daughter, so if you can make the decision before you go downhill, it will be better for her on the long run. She will already be settled in her sister's place. With my mother I kept begging her to make the decision before she needed it, so she could have input and choices and at a time that would be convenient for me--as I am the one on whom all this falls.

One issue I had was her move date was the 15th and she had her place til the 30th. So she wasn't packed or ready or cooperative with the movers, and I still had to fight and argue and cajole for 25 more days with her. Couple that with my brother was found unconscious and in a pool of blood the night before the move, and no one knew what happened. It was a mess. Frankly, I thought the timing ended up perfect, because during the terrible weeks of brother on hospital (stroke) she was living where they were feeding her three times a day.

This is food for thought as you consider the offer and as you think about the timing of any potential next steps.

French books were well received! Thank you for remembering!

Thank you for that advice Tat. You sound just like my daughter. (But wait, I thought you and I were sisters!) Oh well the family dynamics are there. 🙂

Also how did your boyfriend like the childhood books written in French that you gave him for Christmas? And *lushing* an idea on someone might not be such a bad idea! 😀

Push not lush. Sorry!

Dianne, you do have much to think about and change is hard. My mother had a beautiful condo on a beautiful building in a nice area. I live right in the city. I watched some developers take an eyesore of an empty lot and turn it into a lovely assisted living facility. I would gently tell my mom wouldn't it be great if you lived there. When she was 74 I started to lush the idea. I noticed she was no longer going to concerts or other activities downtown. I had her in there just befits she turned 75. Now she's a few city blocks from my house and my BF is a few blocks past that. The ckeanouf of her condo was terrible-- it was very pretty and for the most part okay, but getting rid of stacks of magazines and books etc was a terrible struggle.

My reasoning to get her into assisted living was to do it before she needed it. And now she will say she's glad she did. She was still driving for another year or two, and she was able to ease into it while still active.

It's tough looking to the future, when big decisions need to be made. Rest up today.

I lost that last post and had to rewrite it.

I am very blessed too with a wonderful family. Like your mother and brother have opened themselves to your loving care and help I'm thinking it's time for me to seriously consider doing the same. We get so settled in our ruts and are so resistant to change not even able to recognize how nice those changes could be. Whether the changes are small or huge there comes a time to let go and accept the help that's offered to us. Easier said or written than done. I really, really need to do more work on myself.