Ahh no Tat. I find it extremely hard to say nice things about myself. So much easier to see the good in others! But I'm trying to learn to say, hey Dianne, great job. So keep your prayers coming they are always very much appreciated here!!

Great job on the purse and wallet switch-out! I am a bag lady and appreciate a beautifully organized handbag. 😀

Jessica, as hoarders we isolate ourselves. And that can feel good. It feels safe. It can also feel lonely and odd. Sharing is HUGE progress!! I can't tell you how much I've learned about myself by posting here. There are times I've felt utterly stupid and weird. I ramble and I get overinvolved and I learn. I also get to understand others' reasoning and behaviors. Sometimes I get hurt and pull back into my turtle shell. And then I come out again and keep that turtle crawl going. What an amazing journey!!

So happy to have you on it as well! 🙂

Dianne, thank you for saying such lovely things about me. I take them to heart and can only pray that you say as many nice things about yourself. Tillie, I thank you for your encouragement. Easily got another bag of things together today--cardigans that have seen a better day. welcome Jessica--glad to see you posting!!!

I would buy multiples of things on sale--not paper towels or other stuff that will be used--but Christmas stuff or Easter stuff or books or pots or this thing or that thing. This way, I could have at least one for me and be the hero and give away to someone. BTW Dianne, you have a fantastic memory. I say to myself all the time, like a mantra, I am not a warehouse. It feels great. And I note that my need to rescue the world is spilling over to other areas of my life. Before, if I saw someone who was getting directions, I would step in and add my two cents. If I saw someone who needed directions and I didn't know where it was, I would find someone to tell them. How obnoxious. If they already have someone helping them, who elected me mayor to step in and contribute? And isn't it okay to say "I don't know" once in a while? I still need to rescue people and help out and my generous spirit is intact, I just no longer have this crazy notion that the world is looking to me to have an extra Phillips head screwdriver on hand.

Tonight I am switching out purses to the new one that Santa (aka my sweetheart) brought me and I'm swapping out wallet too. Old wallet can be thrown out; old purse will be emptied completely, put in a fabric bag, and placed on shelf in bedroom. Old purse was a gift ftom BF probably 8 years ago and I've used it on and off for 8 years. I never fail to get a compliment on it.

Missing you all and sending you my love. Don't sell yourself short, Jessica. We need you here!

Dianne - Thanks for the kind and understanding encouragement ! I know there are millions(?) of "us" in varying degrees of "mess and distress". Yet, I feel quite isolated. Again - I am mystified at my OWN habits and behavior. Sharing IS progress.

Tillie, I absolutely agree with your assessment of your hoarder. I used the same justifications for my things.

Whenever I look at extras now I think Tat's thought ~ my home is not a warehouse. If someone by some odd chance would ask me if I have a whatever that they could borrow or have I can say not any more.

Hi Jessica, welcome!

I've only recently started "eavesdropping" on these chats. It has been comforting. Fear/Anxiety have stopped me from contributing ... much the way they've stopped me from actually making progress with my own SERIOUS situation. I don't understand why. You all seem relatively evolved in your progress. I feel like I'm trying to bail out a ship that sank a long time ago (Titanic !)

Mr. Hoarder, the hoarder I live with, justifies acquiring and keeping a LOT of stuff by saying
"maybe somebody will need this someday and I will have it and can give it to them".

Whenever he has tried to give something to someone they don't want or need it.

I think the "keeping it for others" is just an excuse for keeping it all for himself.

Tat, you said something that was an eye opener for me, just the way you worded it ~ I am not a warehouse to store things for others. Really gave me a new perspective as I had stored huge amounts of stuff for my married daughter because she likes to keep her home with only what they use/need. She has no problem at all culling and donating. Little by little I am taking things that belong to her to her home and say I'm clearing some things and wanted you to make the decisions on these. I never ask what happens after that, it's hers.

YEA!!!! 😀
Way To Go! Tatoulia

Bag of jammies already in the car, destined for Goodwill! Washed them so they are fresh.

I learned, over the summer, that I keep and buy stuff in case someone needs it and I must tell you I am forever cured of that. I will work on clothes with everyone's tips in mind. Tillie, it's funny that you mentioned empty spaces because now I like having shelf room and empty spots. It makes my home feel less crowded. I will work on closet including making decisions on next level of shoes and purses.

You know, I found the first level of dehoarding hard, and saved stuff so I could decide on second level, yet I'm not afraid and not anxious. I feel good and strong. Thanks to everyone here.

The main rule when decluttering, minimizing and organizing possessions is
"just because there is room to store an item, that does not mean we should keep the item."

It is a very personal decision as to what we decide to keep.
It is a very personal reason as to how much stuff or empty space we each need to feel comfortable in our homes.

Congratulations on your new place LR! I don't know how u did it but way to go. your my hero.

LR, this is the very best news!! 😀

{{{BIG HUGS}}}

Haha Tat, we just cross-posted. Of course no offense! I would be honored to be confused with Mel! But maybe not so much for poor Mel to be confused with me. 😉

One of our family stories is about the times we would stay at my great-gramma's place on the Chesapeake Bay. The kids would be crabbing and we would just toss the crabs on the ground and the littlest ones would pick them up and put them in pails. Only the male crabs that were 10 inches point to point and never, ever a female or her baby. Crabs were very abundant back in those days. So one day my dad is on the bulkhead, netting and tossing and he turns around and yells, "M..., no Rob..., no T...,!!! By the time he got the right name out my littlest bro had a big old mad crabby hanging off his toe as he hopped around screaming! Haha!

Hey Tat, that was me asking you about the clothes. 🙂

Really great work Tat!!

Dianne, I think I confused you and Mel last night. Sorry, luckily you are both fantastic people giving fantastic advice so sure no one is insulted! Whenever I mistakenly call someone by my sweetheart's name, I always say, there is no bigger compliment! I value you both so much.

WTG! LR2014 😀

Wishing you a wonderful new beginning full of peace and joy.

(((hugs)))

LR, I am so proud of you! Congratulations! Wow you really got that done! So happy!!

I wish to announce that on Sunday afternoon, I officially turned in the keys to my ever-flooding, often extremely noisy apartment. Most of my "stuff" for now is in a 10x10 storage place, and I am temporarily staying in a nice little home with some old friends for a couple of months. (They have a very nice, neat, clean home and they are wonderful friends and wonderful to live with.) I have my own comfy bed to sleep on in a comfy guest bedroom. The new place is about an hour's drive from my old place. More later. Whoo-hoo!

Hugs to all. Couldn't have done it without ya.

Hello everyone! Nice to see you Bitsy. I hope you are surviving the winter okay. This time of year I think of my mother, who when we were children, would privately pray for February 1st, because she knew it would be light out til five. I find I do the same now.

Mel, thank you for your sweet post. I wear a lot of dresses and suits, even though my office is "business casual," which unfortunately must people take as casual. I dress up must days and feel good about it. I rarely participate in our jeans Fridays, but every so often I surprise them all. I work from home a day or two a week, which is nice. I don't have a ton if clothes but I know if I were realistic, I'd be able to get rid of more things that I don't wear. Some of my issues concern weight gain. I tend to buy a few good pieces of clothing and then when I can't fit into them, I'm not ready to say goodbye. So I think I could get rid of stuff if I followed the tips and really figured out what is realistic and what isn't.

One area, believe it or not, where I have an abundance of clothes is in the PJ, nightgown, slipper, bathrobe area. I try to stay out of those areas of stores but even last night I bought more PJs at Lord and Taylor. But I promised I'd get rid of some and I am getting a bag together.

I'm general, I just feel like I have too much stuff, so I appreciate all the tips on where to start. I will start on clothes closet. Might as well. Much easier for me to pare down on clothes than other things.

Tillie, always great to read about your day. My cat eats my sheer curtains.

Hi 🙂

Spent the day being sorta lazy. 🙂
Tidied up my linens while I put away the freshly washed ones.
Put down some fresh scented drawer paper in a couple of drawers.
Sorted out my socks and tossed the ones developing holes.
Went through my sheer lacy window curtains and decided to toss a few that had seen better days.
Cats are very hard on them.
Watched a few documentaries on Netflix as I puttered around.
Made a toasted cheese sandwich. 😀
Talked to, played with and helped the cats with their cat problems.
It has been a good day and now there is a beautiful winter sunset. 😀

If that "spam" post is bothering people we can ask for it to be removed.
I plan to just ignore it and keep posting as if it weren't there.
They probably won't return.

WAY TO GO MEL! should somebody email Cory?

Will doctor "o" come to our houses and send us on an all expenses paid vacation while he cleans our houses and pays our bills? If not, not interested. 😉

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Hey Tat, sounds like Sunday was a good day of rest for you and you still got a lot done late at night at your mom's. Good work shredding, sweeping and vacuuming at your place yesterday too!

What do you think you need to get rid of still?

Very good suggestion, Tillie! I did exactly this with kitchen cabinets over the summer but hadn't considered for bedroom. I have a very good dresser and my entire closet was designed by California Closets so it's very roomy, including multiple shelves, six dresser drawers, different places to hang clothes.

Maybe start easy with the six closet drawers. They are small and not used as well as they could be. Two alone hold nylons and tights. I think I could keep one drawer for nylons/tights and maybe move all the pjs and nightgowns into some of the others.

This sounds so simple but honestly I didn't see it.

THANK YOU!

it's so nice to have you back. Giant hugs.

HI 🙂
So nice to catch up with you all. 😉

Over did it today. But really, something's were getting on my nerves and I just had to deal with them.

Tatoulia, so you want to get to the next level,
that's fantastic. 😀

Emptying a whole room is an awful lot to do at one time and I worry you may become overwhelmed, paralyzed and burned out.

How to get organized...
Think about one do-able area, like a dresser.
Think how you want to use the drawer space. What items do you want in the different drawers.
Now, dump out one drawer.
Only place back what you decided that drawer will be used for.
Sort through the other stuff and place it aside near where you think it will go permanently.
Once the first drawer is done you can now dump the second drawer.
Repeat the sorting out.
Now, there will be things in other locations that you decide belong in the drawers but they are locate elsewhere in the home.
Later, at another time, you can gather them up and put them into their assigned drawer.

If there is too much of any one kind of any items...
Choose to keep only the best most loved and used items and let the others go live elsewhere.
Use this same method throughout the house with closets, cupboards, shelves etc...
Tackle only one small section at a time removing items and refilling the areas with only what goes there.

Layout of my two dressers...
Dresser #1
Top drawer- blouses
middle drawer- dresses
bottom drawer- flannel night gowns
Dresser #2
Top drawer- undies
middle drawer- slips & such
bottom drawer- summer night gowns

I don't have a closet space for hanging clothes & that's why I keep them all in the dressers. 🙂

My chest of drawers contains
Kitchen linens, dish cloths & towels
socks & pull over tops
skirts
robes
table cloths & doilies

I have the items all put where it is easiest for me to get to them and use them and put them away afterward.
If it is too difficult to get to things and put them away afterward then they tend to pile up and become clutter.