Good morning!

Alanna, have you had a chance to do something in your kitchen yet?

How does trash leave your house? Do you put it out on the curb on a specific day? Or take it to a collection point? Can you try to set aside some time right before collection to carefully gather a bag of trash and take it out, checking as you go and reminding yourself that you are checking carefully so you won't need to do it twice? This would save you some time and hopefully help clear out a bit.

Tatoulia, you sound a little sad. I hope that life throws you some more positive things. You are very accepting of change, but it is still difficult. Especially when the changes are unchosen or involve losses.

CM "driving down the street jamming with my frogs" - lol!

Lila, missing you!

I had a wonderful time with my family. My house is still a mess, but I have started the laundry and mostly kept up with the dishes.

Also, still working on time management, and my morning computer time is up. Have a great day everyone!

This spring seems slow to get started. I don't mean just the weather, although that does keep reversing back to cooler just when one thinks it is progressing normally for the time of year. Storms predicted for Thursday and beyond, rain definitely needed.

No, it's spring activity and projects that are slow getting going too. I'm not sure what to do first and about the time I might make some sort of decision or plan, life comes along with a thing to do that sidetracks even if the thing is good in itself. But I am starting to get out more and to feel more relaxed about it. My friend likes to go to this warehouse of $1.25 used books and movies. I've been very restrained there and lots of times won't buy anything. But I did find 2 CDs and 2 DVD sets (the latter will probably get watched by me and roommate then re-donated).

The CDs I've been playing while driving, for relaxation. One is music and nature sounds, heavy on the frogs. So most people play rock or country or hip hop, etc. I am driving down the street jamming with my frogs. Lol! Whatever works.

I did my one goal and picked up the packages. I stood in the business for a while and thought about all the years we spent there. Then I stopped to get milk and then I stopped by mom's to talk to one of the aides. So my life doesnt look like it used to. But that's fine.

My goal today is to go pick up my packages. They are still delivered to BF's former business. That's all I have to do to feel like I got outside and actually did something.

Time to go to bed. Need to start dishwasher first. I walked home from work. I changed the litter boxes and got the garbage out. Just need strength to go to bed.

Welcome back, SubC!

Good morning!

Reading, having a lovely time with my family. Will post again some time after they leave tomorrow.

I took a nap out of boredom rather than anyth8ng else. I'm up and showered. I'm running the dishwasher early for me and I'm still cooking my dinner. Such is life. Back to the office on Monday after a week at home.

I might convince myself to go through some of mom's papers tonight. I did wash another dress of hers. A lovely cotton shift from the 1980s I would guess. Very simple and cheerful. It's too tight on me now but I am trying to lose weight again. I will need to modify the tabbed sleeves into 3/4 length sleeves (sorry, SubC that is my preferred length) and then I'll have a nice dress with darts. Normally a shift dress isn't good on my body but this one is delightful. And the fabric is lovely and the bottoms are the fabric covered ones.

Hello hello. I ran my errands and got a walk in. 3 miles between going to the animal shelter and going to the grocery store to get cat litter. I go to the grocery store frequently because I am walking. I've lived this way for nearly 40 years and I enjoy it. Would've liked to have walked closer to five miles but maybe tmr. Or maybe I'll head back out in a while.

I also got the recycling out to the bin.

I will eventually move overseas. I'm thinking about buying a friend's house in Greece. But ultimately that would be more of a vacation place than a year round place, although it does have heating and air conditioning.

I can tell that nearly a year in, our relationship is okay but our lives are taking a different turn. We are living in two different cultures. So we shall see. I'm glad he's establishing himself. He was in Canada for a while and he was despondent. So the Middle East is better for now. Our ultimate plan is France. But who knows what the future holds.

I understand how our stuff is important! I do! It's a comfort to have our stuff and uncomfortable to get rid of it. It's a difficult process. But I promise you it can be done and it can feel good. I used to keep so much stuff because I wanted to be the hero that had whatever anyone needed. I wanted to be able to say, oh I have that, let me get it. And I had to stop being that person and I'm so much happier. Even knowing that the stuff I donated was much better quality than what is available today, I'm grateful that it's gone. Life changing. I'm much happier. But believe me it was hard and scary and sickening and all those things. I felt like I was being punished for abusing my right to own things. And I assure you I still make hard decisions every day and they are each worth it. So stick with it and go your own pace and let us know what you need!

It's a pleasure Tatoulia. 🙂 I can only imagine how difficult a long distance relationship is, especially after not being in a long distance relationship for so long. I'm glad that technology helps - it makes the world feel a bit smaller. Are you considering moving overseas to be with him?

I hope you had a good walk around the city. 🙂

I can understand running the dishwasher being soothing - I find I'm more rested at night when the dishes are done (even if the dishwasher isn't running), it's just a sense of chores being finished. I like the lamp too. I want to get some lamps for the house, but haven't gotten there yet (and I must get some things out the house before bringing new things in).

I can understand the theory of life being easier with less stuff, but my emotions haven't caught up to that point yet. 😉

I was thinking exactly the same thing, that the kitchen is a good place to start. 🙂 So I'll start there. Half the cupboards in the kitchen are organised (so we can cook) so at least it's not quite as daunting either.

So great that you could freshen up the bathroom quickly - I'm going to remember these tips. I also don't keep anything on the bathroom counter (except the soap) for easy cleaning. How do you keep your white towels white though? I have one set of white towels and the hand towels are starting to have a faint dirty area where hands are dried, and that faint dirty area didn't even come out after soaking in our equivalent of Oxi-Clean.

Hope you had a good dinner. 🙂 Thanks for being here too. 🙂 Glad we can keep each other company while the others are busy.

Alanna, thanks for the well wishes on my BF. We've been together for two decades here in the US and last year he decided to move overseas. It's been hard but technology makes it easy. We are doing our best to be sure.

A friend came into and we walked around the city. I'll take the walk to the animal shelter tomorrow with my sheets.

I run the dishwasher every night. I live alone with my cat and with my mother's cat, who I inherited last year. I have always run the dishwasher every night. I find it soothing. I have a lamp that I turn on in the very small galley apartment kitchen and I find it soothing. Emptying my dishwasher is no longer a chore because I no longer have multiple sets of dishes. And I only have four of each plate. I had some great sets of dishes including some lovely vintage 1950s dishes I bought at a yard sale. And I loved them for years and eventually let go. My life is easier with less stuff.

The chaos of moving and working a lot and feeling overwhelmed is understandable. I would probably start organizing the kitchen cabinets. Not perfect, just get them to fine. You could consider each item as you put it in the cabinet. Would that be a place to start?

Today, I knew my friend was coming over to have a snack and then walk. So as I out the kettle on for my coffee, I ran to the bathroom and changed the towels and opened a new bar of soap. So in those few minutes, I was able to freshen the bathroom. I only use white towels so there's no thought when putting the towels out. I do not keep anything on my bathroom vanity nor do I keep anything on the back of the toilet. So it's a fast bathroom clean up for me.

I'm making dinner now and feeling very hungry. I'll report back soon. Thanks for being here, Alanna!

Hey All 🙂

Sorry I didn't post the past couple of days - been very hectic with class prep, teaching, and marking.

I'm determined to bring back darts in dresses. I'm rather busty so I look like a sack of potatoes in a dress without darts/some shape. I'll root for long sleeved dresses for you too SubC!

Pity about the emojis, there are some really cute ones nowadays.

What's easy? Dishes are easy, laundry is kinda easy but time consuming (except when there are stains that need scrubbing.). Trash - not so easy because I'm afraid of throwing away something important/that I want so I end up checking the trash before it goes out (weird I know, it's a habit I need to break because it costs a lot of time). Decluttering is hard. I have a backlog of laundry though, which is making that task overwhelming and then I tend to avoid it.

My situation - too much stuff for the space, but we also moved a year and a half ago, and everything moved in chaos, so things need to be organised so that everything has a home. I haven't had time to organise because work got so hectic. Hoarded clutter + moving chaos = a house that looks like the aftermath of an explosion. I need to go through all the cupboards in every room and organise properly. Some cupboards are half organised, there is a room of doom that still has boxes and things in and the garage is still messy as well, although there was some rearranging so that the cars could be parked.

I like your 5 minute miracles Tatoulia, I'm going to remember that. 🙂 I also like SubC's doing a task that you don't have to do again. Although I don't seem to get to those between work and chores.

Tatoulia well done on keeping your house clean and clear. 🙂 And thank you for staying here even though your house is clean to encourage those of us with less clean and clear (read disasters 😉 ) houses.

Why is it difficult for me to get rid of things? All of the reasons you mentioned SubC.

Well done on completing your lamp SubC, sounds lovely. 🙂 And well done on getting your trash and recycling dropped off, as well as all the clearing in the garden. Hope you can get your seeds in soon and have some lovely spring flowers.

Sorry you had a headache, I can relate, but glad you could keep up with the dishes and laundry even though it was slow going. Hope the headache is better now.

Enjoy the time with your family SubC, glad you can spend some time with them. 🙂

Well done on getting the chores done Tatoulia. You're great at getting things done in small gaps of time! That's a skill I need to learn - I waste away the small gaps of time because they seem too short to get things done. Hope you had a good walk to the animal shelter and I'm glad that your old sheets can help some animals in need. 🙂

Will pray for your BF in the Middle East Tatoulia!

Today I managed to change sheets and wash the sheets and towels. I need to do 1-2 loads of laundry a day until I've caught up. I also did the dishes and the dishwasher is running. Now back to marking.

Have a great day everyone. 🙂

Hoping your headache eased up, SubC.

I think about how I'm editing my home instead of getting rid of stuff. It's helping me to make some of the harder decisions.

I thought 5 wouldn't come today but here it is. I'm doing to watch the news now. I'm concerned because BF is in the Middle East. I'm concerned for everyone in the region but my concern level is raised because he is there right now. How I miss our old life.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, I hope you have a nice walk.

I may be missing for a bit. I have a lot I need to do for school, I'm trying to get some seeds planted, my spring sale is next weekend, and my parents arrive tomorrow followed by Birdy's family on Sunday. I'm also adding milking back into the chores (happy to have milk!) working on the time management and the internet seems like an obvious place to cut back. I type slowly.

I finished building my lamp sculpture project yesterday. It was too wet to plant in the garden, but I moved some plastic tarps and old trellises. Cleared around my grandmother's lilac bush. I really need to get some seeds in. Had a headache most of the day so I was moving slowly, but I kept up with laundry and dishes.

Did not stop for plastic toys set out with the trash.

Today I was waiting for the oven to preheat so I folded the laundry and put it away. I also got the twin sheets out and one other sheet out to donate. Good feeling. Will walk to the animal shelter this weekend.

Good morning!

Alanna, thank you for the flower. we used to have emojis, but sadly they stopped working a while ago. I teach a range, from 5 to 18throughout the day.

I think a lot of hoarders check - because we are always loosing things. It's also an OCD trait, and OCD is sometimes a companion to hoarding.

On getting rid of things - sometimes it helps if you start by asking why you are afraid of getting rid of things - sentiment? Waste? A fear that you might need it? Also, if you can get rid of something, notice how it is stressful at first, but then over time you don't miss it and perhaps even forget about it.

I miss dresses with long sleeves. I am tall and I hate 3/4 sleeves.

I went straight to the studio from school yesterday and spent over three hours on my lamp. That will have to count as my thing I won't have to do again, because I came home, did chores, and went to bed.

I dropped off trash yesterday, and recycling, but I forgot a bag.

Too many things on my list again today - checking work, lesson prep, garden, and going to the studio to finish my lamp.

Plus a dozen more "if I have time" - I won't have time.
Speaking of, my alarm went off. Time to put the computer down.

Alanna you are such a sweetheart! Yes dresses with darts are a thing of the past, I'm afraid.

How to start? Start with the easy stuff. What is easy for you? Trash? Putting dishes in the dishwasher? What is your situation? Too much of everything? Do you wash laundry and never put it away? What are some habits we can help you form? Getting rid of stuff is like building a muscle so start with the easy stuff and there really is easy stuff. Do you have a lot of coffee mugs? Were some given to you and now you have bad feelings associated with it? Things like that might help spur your creative juices. I remember figuring out that a lamp in my house kept reminding me of a situation that was upsetting to me so I got rid of it.

With respect to time, there are some things that I call five minute miracles. It takes me less than five minutes to empty my dishwasher but I used to put it off.

I have been able to clean and clear my house and keep it that way since 2018. I also have house cleaners once a week so it is always clean top to bottom. I promise you that you will learn to get rid of stuff. Sometimes I say, I loved this and now it's time for someone else to love it.

Emoji failed - that's unfortunate. Dashes in my text flower failed too, so let's try the text flower again: @>- - > - -

Hey All 🙂

Thank you all so much for the kind welcome. @>—>— (sideways text flower, since I'm not sure if emojis work on the site?) (? attempt at a rose emoji - if it fails, I apologize, thought I'd test and see.)

SubC, I like the poco a poco, I'm going to remember that. 🙂 I teach at a university, so I guess lecturing is a more accurate term, although I have so much in common with teachers. (I have friends who teach, all different ages, and there's always the collective sigh when it comes to marking, as well as the challenges of keeping lessons interesting and students focused.) What ages do you teach? Very interesting about teaching encouraging hoarding - I hadn't thought about that (teachers and lecturers where I'm from also don't get paid that well unfortunately). I've been hoarding for as long as I can remember, so I can't blame my profession unfortunately. 😉

SubC and CM - Haha, I'm actually from sunny Africa (Southern Hemisphere though, hence the opposite seasons). 🙂

Tatoulia - well done on getting your taxes done. I'm glad your sister encourages you too. A serene house sounds lovely. Rather the opposite of my house. 😉

I like Tatouilia's idea of improving a room every time you go in and I like the time budgeting plan from SubC. Although somehow I always feel like I have too much to do and too little time. Also every time I think a task will take a certain amount of time, it ends up taking three to five times as long. I'm not sure if that's just because I work slowly or because of perfectionist tendencies (probably both).

I totally share your frustrations with fabrics and fits CM and Tatoulia! These frustrations led me to buying a sewing machine and starting to learn how to sew (I'm still very much a beginner though). At least in the fabric store I can choose fabric that I like (some of it feels thicker and good quality but I'm not sure on that) and the sewing patterns have darts. Where I am, it seems as is everyone making dresses or shirts has forgotten what a dart is. Everyone here is buying from very cheap online stores (I think you have them in the USA too, I'm sure you know which ones I'm talking about) but as a hoarder who doesn't get rid of things I can't bring myself to buy cheap stuff that's going to fall apart after the first wash, because then I'd have to get rid of it which is a problem.

CM, did you come right with your costume from Maxine?

Tatoulia, if I was closer (and had time to sew and perhaps a bit more experience), I'd offer to sew you a quilt. (Quilting fabric is lovely and the patterns you can make are stunning.)

Hmm, problems or plans to work on. Plan is to tidy up 😀 (not a very helpful plan at this point, I know). Any advice on how to reduce the anxiety associated with getting rid of things? I think that's help me to actually start getting rid of things. I also have a fear of losing things, which ends with me checking and double checking things (e.g. checking that I didn't drop anything when getting out the car). Is that a common hoarding problem or am I just an extreme-hoarder?

Have a great day all. 🙂

SubC! I'll have to rethink the word minimalist because I don't see myself that way at all. I have lots of stuff but I have pared down dishes and towels etc over the years. I just need fewer things to enjoy the things I do have. Plus I'm looking at my future and what I can realistically take overseas with me. This is super hard but at the same time, the rewards are huge.

Going to hop in the shower and log in to computer. I have a bunch of meetings today.

I appreciate what you stated re time and will go back to read it more. I applaud your efforts to find new methods in structuring your day! And yes on getting rid of the wire! That's a lot of years to deal with something that bugs you. I know because I do it to myself, too.

Tatoulia, you're becom8ng a minimalist!

I'm glad your sister can give you affirmation. Did you get your juice?

I lost a post yesterday too. I am still not working on the clear out, but I am working on the time use, so less time online.

The podcast that got me started on the two minute rule was actually about time management on the homestead. I am also working on her main system. To try to be brief - she drew parallels to financial budgeting for goals.

1) Know all your tasks and goals and how you use your time (track expenses and expenditures) she suggested writing everything down that you do for a week which made me laugh. I would spend so much time writing! Not doing that right now. Am trying to pay attention.

2) allow 12 hours for sleep and activities you have to do again every day (meals, personal hygiene, exercise, chores (household and homestead)

3) subtract the hours you spend on your job and commute (2+3= "fixed expenses"

4) take ten percent of the time remaining and "pay yourself first" block that time off for tasks that you will not have to do again - that will advance your goals and/or save you time and/or money. (That is your savings/investment)

#4 is the part I am looking at right now. I think it applies to any project or goal, (like dehoarding!) not just building a homestead) You can "time budget" by day , or week, or month.

Again, I am not ready to work the full system, but I did the math, and by day, days I work that 10% is 20 minutes. So I am going to try to put 20 minutes those days into work that I won't have to do again (counting making pottery for sale because even though I will make pottery again, each piece I finish is finished and will hopefully move me forward financially.) not counting lesson plans because I don't repeat them enough year to year to save time.

I am also trying to do something in category 4 every day. Yesterday I took down the last of the barbed wire Dh convinced me to put up 20 years ago. It has been an annoyance almost from day 1.

Ok, time's up.

Hi everyone! I wrote a post earlier today but lost it as I'm not used to my new iPhone yet. I'll get there. I don't use all the features but my old one was no longer holding a charge.

I know exactly what you mean re the fabrics, CM. I am trying to replace my nearly 30 year old thin cotton quilt (it is in tatters) and I cannot find what I want. Even the ones claiming to be cotton are of such poor quality and they put a sheen on it or otherwise treat the fabric. Other cotton looks like it will pull or pill quickly. I just want a decent thin white quilt. It's absolutely impossible to find stuff that isn't junk and cheaply made. I buy very expensive pjs because all the stuff in the stores are garbage. But they will last me forever and a day and so I'm all set in that department.

SubC I have a friend who, upon leaving a room, looks around to see what she can do to improve it. Coincidentally with your experimentation with the two minute rule, I've been trying the method of improving every time I go from one room to the next. I'm trying to form a habit. I'm so grateful that your husband could see the progress!!!

Okay 7 PM and I have the choice of running to the store to get some much needed fruit juice or just sitting here and continuing to work. Cat is on my lap which makes the decision even harder.

My sister said she's getting rid of stuff and once again mentioned how calm and serene my house is. What a compliment! And something that I have to live up to for sure.

I have sheets for my foldout since it is a smaller size than my bed (foldout is a twin because I do not want people staying here). I've decided to take the twin sheet set to the animal shelter and if someone wants to stay, we will make my sheets fit for the night or two. No need to keep them.

Good morning.

CM, I am proud of you that you are still swimming. I hope you find a new suit.

Tatoulia, I'm glad you got your taxes done. Hopefully the unexpected income was worth the extra taxes and didn't just push you over into a different bracket where you came out behind.

I am probably staying home today, but we'll see how the weather turns out. I may go into the downtown studio.

I didn't post about this, but on Sunday morning I was experimenting with a task system based on the 2 minute rule. The idea was to clear your head of all the silent to do list and be able to plan and organize your life. So as you go through your day, you carry a notepad. If you see or think of a task - if it takes less than 2 minutes, you do it. If it takes more you write it down. I started in my great room (open living/dining/kitchen area) which is the most organized and cleaned up space in my house. I ended up with along list (mostly of random thoughts that are not tasks in the great room) but also spent over two hours just completing "two minute" tasks (defined by me as "I can do this right now and it won't take very long", not strictly two minutes). After which I could see basically no difference, but apparently Dh could see a lot. So what I learned from this is that if a job takes less than two minutes, I don't usually even see it.

Anyway, I plan to do that for another 30 minutes this morning.

But also I have a list of 20 things that are not 2 minute tasks - so clearly, I won't finish that.

Hi all, welcome Alanna. Do you come from a land down under perhaps? 😉 Sorry, couldn't resist, and there is no pressure to answer my silly question/song lyrics. We're glad to have you.

Went swimming this afternoon. Still wearing my tired old saggy baggy suit. A friend has offered to buy me one as a gift but we've needed to coordinate on the logistics of that, since she is out of state, and originally we thought I'd try something on in a brick and mortar store, forward her the info, then she'd order the same thing online and have it shipped to me. Now I have exhausted the brick and mortar stores here, whose selection was paltry. There used to be more stores I could have checked but you know how a lot of them have closed in these times we live in. I did find an online source, Maxine, that has suits that look like the current one which has fit pretty well and lasted. Someone passed it on to me a decade or so ago and it's not a Maxine label but I wonder if it was made by them or they bought out the original company, etc.

I dread the process of acquisition of clothing items more and more. Between my weight and sensory issues and the way clothing manufacturers don't make much that I like, and money concerns, it's a chore. But I've griped about that already. I like to find something I feel good in and get several in different colors and be done with it. Not too many, though. I don't want excess. It's hard to balance. Well, hoping the swimsuit quest anyway will wrap up successfully fairly soon.

We are supposed to get some strong thunderstorms tonight. We need the rain. We don't need hail, high winds, or tornadoes.

Welcome, Alanna! Glad you are here! And so kind!

Taxes done and paid. I owed a lot this year. Generally I'm pretty even. But I had some unexpected income.

Now I'll read the posts! Sorry to scare you, SubC

Tatoulia, I am worried. Taxes are due today!

Welcome Alanna! We all start where we start and make progress at the rate we can. The important thing is starting and not giving up. As our dear CM reminds us - poco a poco - little by little we make it better.

Class prep and marking! Another teacher. Do you mind sharing anything about what (ages/subjects) you teach?

I am also curious about which continent you are on.

I think teaching (at least in the US) encourages hoarding because we never have any money for class supplies and are always looking for creative alternatives, scrounging free supplies, and saving stuff that might be useful.

Do you have a plan we can help you with? Or a problem are you want to tackle?

Hey All 🙂

I'm new to posting here, although I've been ghost reading this thread for a little while to get to know everyone. I hope you don't mind me posting on this thread - I read on someone else new's thread that this was the place to post.

While I'm new to posting here, I am not new to hoarding... I found this thread when looking for help/support/advice on hoarding. Google is full of information on what hoarding is but nothing on how to reduce/get rid of the anxiety associated with parting with possessions. I'm also from another part of the world (proof that hoarders are found all over ;)), so I hope you don't mind me joining in from across the planet.

Reading all your posts is inspiring and a little overwhelming at the same time. You all are doing so much and making good progress with cleaning up. I think I'm a little behind in my mental state - just the thought of getting rid of things induces much stress and anxiety.

CM - happy birthday for the 11th (assuming my calculations are correct - not sure if the site accounts for time zone differences). Hope you enjoyed the nursery, spring flowers are lovely and cheerful. 🙂 (It's fall where I am, so everything going into Autumn colours and getting colder.)

Lila - I'm sorry to hear about your health, I hope you feel better soon. Yay for the new shirt though, it sounds beautiful (I love blue and white combo, it's a classic). I agree with SubC's suggestion of moving ex's things onto the driveway and locking your garage and storeroom if that's possible (not sure how much stuff ex has).

SubC - sorry to hear the baby goat died, but I'm glad Jane is doing well. Farm life sounds very interesting. 🙂 I'm glad you found your green scarf too. I love scarves and probably have more than what I should, but I enjoy them.

Tatoulia - well done on making the hard decisions, I know how stressful those can be! It sounds like you're making good progress (and Emiko sounds like wonderful help to you). Hope the taxes are done.

Have a good day all. I was hoping to get some laundry done today but I don't feel I have the energy. I also have class preparation that needs to happen and marking to do.

I am glad ex is coming to get his stuff, Lila. It may be a hard day for you and certainly anxious as the day approaches but hopefully you will feel relief and will feel lighter!

Yay for the springy blouse! I bet you looked nice in it!

Glad you found the green scarf and put it where you can find it, SubC.

I have so many clothes that would fit me (not many by other people's standards) if I would just get serious about it.

Might do my taxes now.

Yay Tatoulia!

Lila 🙂

I am so glad you have a new shirt! Yay for the new shirt! If anybody ever does say anything mean, you just remember that you got compliments and they have no fashion sense.

Would it be possible to put ex's junk in the driveway and lock the house and garage? Or is the storage room just too overwhelming? Can your boys be there with you when he comes? Will the storage room be empty after this?

We had fun with our friends. I am tired. I wore my favorite dress and my green fake pashmina scarf that I couldn't find at first in my closet and got frustrated. Dh said "you know, we can buy you some clothes." I told him I want to lose x more pounds and then I will clean out my closet and probably buy some clothes. Maybe. I took all the scarves off hangers and tossed them in a basket and when I got home I put just the green one on the fancy multi scarf hanger and hung it up. When I wear another one, I will hang that up.

Very tough decisions were made.