Hi Lila, I've been checking back to see if you had an update. I hope everything went well.

I never accomplish everything I want to do, but it was a productive day.

Dh helped me clear some stumps out of the garden with the tractor and I planted the rest of the potatoes, I planted more carrots, beets, and lettuce, plus about half the onion starts, and moved some irises. I replanted the rest of the irises I had already dug up. I got some laundry done, and I got the clay out of the mixer and onto the drying board and refilled the mixer. (Progress in turning dried out clay stored in hundreds of buckets into usable clay and then actual work.)

Dh also fixed my car. And he found the little desk, and he likes it!

Good morning SubC. All my best days begin with couch and coffee, even if only for a short time. I hope you accomplish everything you want to today!

No one has arrived yet. Nephew said they would come in about half an hour. I never got an email back from ex. So I will just be out there supervising. Praying it is smooth with no arguments or upset feelings. I would like closure of some sort with him. This is the last formal bit of our separation. I am not divorcing him for religious reasons. He can file anytime he wishes.

It has been a nice, chill, overcast morning, just what I needed. Three hours of shuffling around, making toast and coffee, reading, working on my planner for May, doing some online shopping (for Teen and the cat, not me).

I loaded the dishwasher and it is running.
I put my clothes in the wash.

I have some returns to drop off (impulse clothes I bought and don't need) and a new litter box to pick up at a store. And taking youngest son for his driver's test.

I have a grocery order arriving shortly. I will sort the fridge a bit when it arrives. I got mostly healthy stuff.

I think what I would really like is control over my life. Or at least my environment. The clutter is just a symbol of the lack of control of my environment. I hope when I move into my next house, that will change. For now, I will keep trying to stay clear of people spewing toxicity and things that make me feel like I need to escape or hide.

Lila, I don't know if you are a star wars fan, but "May the 4th be with you" today. I know it is going to be hard, but it will be so much better!

I'm sorry about the meltdowns.

I have so many things to do today and this weekend. And how am I starting? Sleeping in and chilling on the couch with coffee.

Tatoulia and Alanna, we miss you!

SubC, the tools are mostly in a storage room with an outside door, which he has a key to. I plan to ask him for all his keys tomorrow. The tools were bought during our marriage with joint funds and I was granted all of that in the separation, so I will tell him no on anything I don't want him taking. But it also means I have to be here the whole time and supervise the move, which will probably take 2 hours or so. I hope it goes fast and easy... it is stressing me out.

I walked the dog today which was nice. But I spent a good 4 hours dealing with Teen having meltdowns. I typed 3 different paragraphs about that but deleted them all.

Tomorrow I will try to get some weeding done.

Hi CM, sorry you are feeling swept up in the storm. I hope you will get to enjoy the bunnies.

Lila, is "out there" a shed? Or the garage? If it's a shed, can you just put a padlock on it?

As far as the expensive tool tha5 is yours, you just say "no."

It is yours, you do not want to give it away -"no." That is not rude or unreasonable or anything. If he is trying to take things that belong to you, that is unreasonable. And also rude, and also theft.

So, the little desk was still there today before school. And also after school. You know where this is going- it's in my barn. It's been a long week and it's harder to resist when I am tired. Also because I am still regretting those curtains.

I dropped off some books, I brought home another book and some toy animals - two steps forward, one step back...

Prayers, CM! I hope you will feel more at peace and settled and you have a good day. SubC, it probably is a good plan to sell the goat... a little breathing room is always good. Where is Tatoulia?

I am feeling unsettled about the whole thing with ex. He did show up and brought food to eat with Teen, which was nice, although I hope at some point to have him stop being in my house. Maybe next trip I will see if they can go somewhere else to eat, but, with Teen's anxiety, that may be unlikley.

Ex said something as he was leaving about how he is not going to sort but he is going to give some tools to his friend. He was exiting and I was so surprized I said nothing, although he mentioned a large expensive tool we got during the marriage. I know legally he has no right to just take my stuff, anything. But what to say? So today I did send him an email mentioning that of course he can take any tools he had before we met, but anything else, please tell me what you have in mind as I need my tools and want my sons to have anything I have, because they actually work on things. We will see what he says in response. But I am stressed.

I really should, and will, go into the storage areas and do what I planned - put away anything I don't want taken. It is just a pain, and a lot of work, and I don't want to. But, I will.

So far today I:
- unloaded and loaded the dishwasher
- took Youngest Son on an errand and to work
- found the long trimmers and trimmed a lot of hanging branches on my front yard trees that were hanging onto my car
- put branches and pulled weeds into recycle bin and put it on the curb
- cleaned one corner of my driveway. I have a neighbor who throws trash into the adjoining corner and it looks terrible but is too big for me to do anything with. So I just sort of pushed it all back over the property line, picked up small things, and swept up dead leaves there so my area looks better.

I also logged my calories. Now I am sort of relaxing, trying to chill before going out there to look at the boxes and tools and stuff, ughhhh.

At bunny shelter. This will have to be quick.

Arrived yesterday during a time of extra things happening. Hence did not get to bring my stuff in and get oriented properly. Confusion ensued. Sometimes I was catching the rhythm based on past experience, other times was teetering on the edge of a meltdown.

Hard enough to establish and maintain my own routines in a familiar environment. These ladies, this is their familiar environment and routines.

Prayers appreciated! I hope I'll settle in better after awhile.

Good morning.

Lila, I hope you can get some rest, and that the thyroid adjustment and fitbit help you. I will be glad for you when ex's stuff is gone.

All the baby goats are doing well. Jane is not growing exactly as I hoped. She's a healthy, sturdy little goat, just cosmetically not quite the direction I want to go. I may put her up for sale after all. My original plan was to sell all the babies this year because I have enough to deal with on this farm already and it was probably a wise plan. Also, I need to bring more new genetics in rather than staying with mostly what I have. we'll see. I'm trying to not get too attached.

The art show was good. The kids did some amazing stuff, I'm just always stressed about getting everything set up well and not having anything broken. Also, the gym is horribly loud. And unairconditioned, so it got very hot with so many people. Bean and I were overstimulated, which meant that he wanted to be picked up - which meant that we were both hotter. And he weighs 42 pounds.

Yesterday I got half a garden bed and a row of potatoes planted. I also cleaned out one of the goats stalls. Then it got hot and I was tired and I wasted the rest of my day watching videos. I wish I had planted more because it rained last night and is supposed to continue off and on until sometime next week.

May is always a lot with end of school year stuff and yard and garden demands.

Today should be a calmer day at school, but there is still a lot of year end wrap up to do. Three and a half more weeks!

hi guys. I was sick a few days, worked a lot a few days, and now am about to have my days off. I need them. I am drained.

CM I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but my best friend, who passed away a couple years ago, was involved in bunny rescue. She had two fosters that she ended up fostering forever. She really loved her bunnies and helping with rescue and got really mad around Easter when people would give their kids bunnies and then go dump them in a field when they got bigger. So sad. I love bunnies too and had 2 about thirty years ago on our farm.

SubC, your art show sounds interesting and stressful and nice. I am glad you get to spend so much time with Bean. How is Jane?

I went to my dr this week and he is trying to help me get a grip on my health and find solutions to my issues. I got some referrals, higher thyroid med dose, and I bought a fitbit to monitor some things he was concerned about. He thinks I may have sleep apnea, so this will probably show me some signs if I do. If I went in for an actual sleep study, I am quite sure I would lay there wide awake all night. This thing measures my heart rate, oxygen, sleep cycles, etc. And, it is a step counter, and the Dr wants me to try and reach step goals. I am so sedentary that my first goal is 3000 steps a day. I barely hit that today, with effort. It has an alarm if I sit for an hour, to remind me to get up and do something. So far, so good.

My ex is in town and has not contacted me about his junk. I am praying he won't just show up tonight or say he is coming in the morning. I just can't. I think he will be respectful enough to not come in the morning if I tell him I need to rest. If he does show up tonight, I will show him a few boxes he can take with him to sort or whatever. but this is stressful, and I will be glad when it is over. TotsDad hurt his back so no load went to the dump yet. I will ask my nephew if he can help get that stuff loaded on the truck and taken to the dump. We'll see. He may not have time since he is bringing his brother who is not close to us and won't want to hang out or anything.

Everything needs cleaned, everything needs sorted, and I just want to sleep.

Good morning!

CM, many of mine are repetitive.

Why do you have to go to the grocery store every day?

My entire body is sore from yesterday, but mostly my back, hips, and legs from standing on the gym floor for hours. We had the arts fair after school yesterday and with teaching, set up, and tear down I was there from 8:45 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.

Also I wore dressier shoes (and dressier clothes.) the shoes are very pretty, but they hurt my feet (I went barefoot during clean up) so they are being donated.

On the way to school I drove by a furniture thrift store that had a very cute little wooden desk with many drawers in bad condition out for free. I did not stop even though I was driving the truck because I was in a hurry. It was still there on the way home, but I was exhausted.so I was saved from another project.

Today I stay home and hopefully work on the garden and barn. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Lol, SubC, I have those zillion scraps of paper with to do notes as well. I'm hoping to corral them into the electronic version. Maybe I'll even get lucky and find that a fair number of them are obsolete and can be tossed.

Preparations for the bunny shelter days are proceeding well. I need to make measured portions of my bunnies' food for roommate to give them mornings and evenings. I will miss my sweet babies so much! And they may be jealous when I return smelling of other rabbits.

I pray for energy and a clear, calm mind. It can get hectic taking care of so many rabbits and interacting with the human(s), the shelter lady and volunteers and clients. Plus the daily grocery run at a store that is loud and sometimes crowded,
and we usually have to go during the busy time.

Good evening friends.

I have three more projects to check. This has taken all day (9 a.m. to 10 p.m.) with short breaks (15 minutes or less per hour) plus one long one for evening chores.

I also ran and unloaded the dishwasher and gave the last round of baby goat shots.

Procrastination is a costly habit. Wonder if I'll learn anything for next year?

One thing I learned today is that I make very bad food choices when I have to sit at a table and deal with papers/computer all day.

How were things elsewhere?

Good morning. I am getting a lazy start this morning. It is wet and grey outside and I am tired. I slept until Dh alarm went off this morning and then fell back asleep while he was in the shower. I need to go milk very soon though.

CM, my auxiliary brain is scribbled on pieces of paper and in notebooks scattered throughout my house and studio. It is a physical representation of the state of my actual brain.

I don't think an electronic brain would help me, but sometimes I wish I had a very small dictaphone I could pin to my clothing to make notes during the day and then play back in the evening to organize on paper. Smaller than my flip phone. Maybe an Apple Watch with no strap - do they have a voice memo function?

The most important/urgent thing I need to do today is check my students work.

We have our art show after school tomorrow, and if I get all the work checked, anyone who stays to the end can help with clean up by taking their work home at the end of the show. Also the kids need to make artist cards to display with their work, so I need to hand it back at least temporarily at the start of each class. It will be much easier for me if that is permanently.

Dsil needs me to watch Bean after school tomorrow, so Bean will be helping with set up.

I am starting to train myself to use my new phone I bought in February to serve as an auxiliary brain. I had done that somewhat with my tablet, but the tablet also is where I do more elaborate stuff, almost like a computer - internet research, posting here and elsewhere, reading books, some writing and art, etc. - and the quotidian bits and pieces can sort of get buried in the bigger projects.

The phone is not where I do as much reading and so on. Only once in awhile if I don't have the tablet handy. Plus now with this phone I have a much better note taking app. It lets me organize the notes into folders, there are more options for font colors, highlighting, bullet points (love bullet points!) - like real documents. And they can be backed up, so I won't lose them as I did the notes on the old phone.

So I'm using this to help me remember what to do ahead and things to take with me on Thursday to the bunny shelter house, and I can also use it for jotting down notes for my decluttering (because I've felt kind of lost and not sure where to dive in). And just whatever else day to day. Those "loose ends" that I need to do but won't remember to do in the absence of reminders. I can even set alarm reminders to chime for the important ones.

I think it will all help.

Hey, another thing...this just popped into my mind. As I've maybe mentioned, I am refraining from the sharing on diet and food here because it's kind of a fraught topic for me that I am better discerning in private. But rest assured that I wish us all much success with whatever things we want to do nutrition and weight loss wise. 🙂 Anyway, here's the thing that popped into my head: Gut microbiome. I've been reading about new discoveries in terms of gut health affecting mental health. I think this is a promising area. I had been taking probiotics for some years and then I got away from it. I'm starting up again in hopes of helping my anxiety, and perhaps the ADHD as well if it affects that. It's probably good for a lot of things. And I'm pretty sure pre- and probiotics can be helpful for weight. So just thought I'd pass that along.

CM, I hope you enjoy your bunny time.

Lila, it sounds like your body craves fat. Maybe work on cutting the sugar and refined carbs and give yourself "treats" like eggs and cheese. (Or dip the tomato slices in Mayo or ranch and skip the bread...)

Bean is helping me with the laundry and cooking me imaginary food this morning. Later we might work in the garden.

Not a whole lot going on... we did finally get a more substantial amount of rain over the last couple of days. It had been a while since we had much. Roommate is gardening like a fiend.

I'm going to help out at the bunny rescue later in the week. I'm going to do what I feel I can but others need to pitch in too. In some ways I kind of have wanted a change - I know it won't be like a vacation because I'll be busy, but I almost never get away from here so close enough.

So I'll have some lists to make and packing and planning to do, grocery run because I will want some of the food I'm used to along, and this and that. It promises to be a full week.

SubC, I'm so glad your recovery day was good! And glad to hear your sale went well and you didn't buy stuff. That sounds like quite a task with the jars... both productive and helpful. I definitely give you credit for the 13 jars!! Good job!

Today was a recovery sort of day for me too. I did unload/reload the dishwasher, wash off some counters, and wash the air fryer.

I made a goal today to eat an orange and a tomato, which I just finished. I had the tomato in a sandwich. Did the sandwich have mayo on it? Why yes, yes it did. But no meat. So hey. I am weird how I really LOVE certain foods one would think of as condiments: mayo, butter, Ranch. I could eat straight pieces of butter on crackers like cheese if I let myself. It is very weird but, for some reason that's what I crave. And bacon, but now I am vegetarian so that's out.

I also watched baby Star while DIL took Tot to the dr for an ear infection.

Oh Lila, that would be so wonderful if ex hauled away all the dump stuff!

Exercise - digging, hoeing, raking, moving fence, unloading feed sacks, unloading hay and straw, cleaning out stalls, walking around moving animals, hauling water in buckets, cutting brush, wedging clay, throwing pots, playing with Bean "run Grammie! Run!" and sometimes yoga.

I do the chores I care about and I ignore the rest. Dh does the ones he cares about. Sometimes we care about the same things but whomever can't stand it anymore first does it.

I have had a good recovery day - because I have not done any of the important things yet. Dd called and said Bean wants to stay home tonight because they got an evening invitation from his friend, so I will have to go get him in the morning.

So, i told you about buying the solution to rehydrate the glazes? It's concentrated, and it comes in a pint. You mix half a tablespoon into a pint of water and that's what you use to rehydrate the glaze. Today I mixed up my first pint, and I turned 23 jars with dried up glaze into 6 jars with useable glaze and 17 empty jars. I am keeping 4 of the empty jars for storing things like homemade glaze blends or slips, but I am recycling 13 jars. That was a hard decision, so I am going to give myself credit for the 13 items.

I also divided all (I think) my glaze jars into three groups- the two kinds I use the most and everything else. Then I grouped the first 25 colors of my primary brand into sets of the same color jars and started remixing. I have a long way to go - I did six colors.

Also I washed three loads of laundry and so far dried two but didn't put any away, and I unloaded, loaded, and ran the dishwasher and cleaned off the eating table.

Oh, I just remembered that I didn't tell you how my sale went - ok. Not great. It was slow this year. I didn't make my minimum goal but I got to see some friends and spend time with Bean and I got a present. And I resisted buying stuff.

Good suggestions SubC. For those who don't know, we have a 'Decluttering the pounds' thread as well, which you are welcome to join. If I could just lose 20-25 pounds, 80% of my clothes would fit (talking about the ones in my bedroom, not in totes in the garage).

Well, what can I do today? I stayed home to recuperate and slept until almost 9am, unheard of. I must have needed it. TotsDad moved the mattresses out of the way, but injured his back (pulled muscle I believe) so could not go to the dump. This is slightly distressing to me, as it looks like we have a big pile for the dump and ex may assume he can throw things in that pile. Maybe if I am lucky, he will see utility in every item and TAKE the whole pile with him, haha. This is how he functioned in our home - keep everything, even broken/trash. But he has no place to put it so I am probably just dreaming.

It is so quiet and TotsFam is gone to church, so perhaps I can go do some garage sorting. I want to spend at least an hour today in there making sure my things are in safe place and ex's are evident.

Perhaps I can take a few days off work in May just to get things done around the house - but I would want to have a solid plan ahead so it is not wasted, AND need to get my energy issue improved first. I have a Dr appt tomorrow where I will beg and plead for my primary Dr to help me get my thyroid and weight taken care of. I guess I need a referral to an endocrinologist, and some other help with my other health issues. I better write them all down today so I can remember what I want to ask him about.

It is interesting to hear some facts about your life, SubC. We do make assumptions, don't we? Somehow I didn't realize you work 2 days a week. Do you get most of your exercise/movement from gardening? I barely get any movement. My yard is kind of sad. Brown spots here and there, a bit overgrown in places because I am too weak to mow and everyone else is so busy I have to beg someone to mow. I always have to remind my adult kids to help. I wish they would just do it. Like if I ask, they will vacuum or take the trash out or put a load of towels in, but I have to ask, usually twice. I have tried saying 'this is the chore I expect you to do because you live here' but they seem to all be so busy and need reminding or it does not get done.

I am not sure what to do next. Maybe go unload the dishwasher.

Good morning.

I fixed the keyboard issue. Sorry about the misplaced post.

Alanna, I guess it's Sunday afternoon or evening where you are. Can you find 15 minutes to gather trash and take it straight to the outside bin?

Lila, I hope you get the thyroid sorted out - that makes a big difference.

I think we make assumptions about other people's lives.

I don't get my hair cut, I don't wear make up (I sometimes wear yesterday's clothes and don't brush my hair when I am staying home) I rarely cook meals. I rarely do stuff with friends. I only work two days a week. Family stuff is mostly Bean on Mondays. I rarely clean (bean likes it when we vacuum on Mondays)

Dh wanted to stop for dinner out Friday night and I begged off because it would take too much time.

Dh says I have to drive the truck this week because he doesn't have time to fix my car. Boohoo - working air conditioning! (Bad gas mileage)

I'm trying to have a recovery day today, although it is a good day to work in the garden, I have a LOT of student work to check, I need to disbud (horns) the little girl goat, and I have a raccoon problem.

"Recovery" includes trying to catch up on dishes and laundry - which I am going to go start now.

Ack! I posted that on the wrong thread! For some reason my keyboard won't come up on the site this morning and I had to cut and paste from notes.

So nice to know someone is thinking of me in the evening!

So the connection of this to decluttering is to remove the items and triggers that cause you to snack. But you have other people living in your house. So that is hard.

Also try to replace foods and habits. Like the tea for snacking.

I have been using two mental tricks. Whenever I look at snack food I think "that is Dh bag of chips" or "those are Bean's cookies." Not when I want to eat it, when I buy it, when I unpack it, when I open a cabinet and see it - it helps put my brain in a space where that food is not something I can eat. Because it is not my food.

Also, I tell myself I have to eat things - like "I have to eat these carrots and a banana today" then when I want to eat, I already have a healthy focus on something to eat. And there is less room in my stomach for the other things.

And I'm sure that it helps that now that it is spring I am very busy doing physical labor.

p.s., I could totally be on 600 lb Life, the show... if left to my own devices. I would be the 600-lb-life-Hoarders edition.

I am about 250 tho.

thanks all for the thoughts. Alanna, may I ask how old you are? It sounds like you're a teacher. I am mid 50s with a bunch of adult kids and a bunch of little grandkids, and an ex who was (is) a hoarder. I formed in myself some sort of hoarding issue as well, although not as impactful as his, but one of my sons came to move his family in with me so he helped me sort an immense amount of stuff and donate it. I started the Daily Tally thread and got rid of over 1000 items last year! Not counting actual trash. I am proud of that and working towards 600 this year. You are welcome to post on that thread too if you find it helpful.

I am feeling stuck, very stuck. Not just in sorting/cleaning, but in just about everything. Weight gain, incativity, sluggishness (thatnks to very low thyroid that hopefully my Dr will address), feeling like moving, etc. I look at other people's lives and wonder, how do they do all that? doing stuff wth family, friends, working in their gardens and yards, being active, cooking dinner, cleaning, all that. How? I barely can keep up with the basics of laundry and dishes and taking a shower 2 or 3 times a week.

I did go get my hair cut today. I did help Teen prep some food and talked to her for a bit. I did spend some time with Tot. I want to do more but I don't want to do more.

I would sum up my current mood lately as ambivalent, and slightly overwhelmed, but unmotivated to do anything. If it were not for my work that I love, and my grandkids, I would do basically nothing.

Hey Everyone 🙂

Sorry for the delayed post - I've been so busy marking and setting exams that I haven't had time for anything else. I still need to finish some marking and get started on the backlog of washing this weekend. So nothing done in the kitchen yet unfortunately.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry you're feeling wistful. Hopefully the busy weekend (with perhaps some spring sunshine) will make you feel better? The house in Greece sounds lovely - all the pictures I've seen of Greece look like a perfect vacation spot. Well done for changing litter boxes, picking up packages, and getting the garbage out. 🙂

Glad you had a wonderful time with family SubC! I'm going to try your idea of gathering a bag of trash on trash day - you hit the nail on the head with the double checking (I get distracted and then get worried I missed something and then double check, which wastes a lot of time). The trash gets put out on the curb on a Monday, but I might need to do some gathering on the Sunday (not ideal as I try to rest on a Sunday) to get things out in time.

Good luck with your sale SubC, I hope it goes well. 🙂 The pottery sounds great, so I'm sure you'll sell well. Hope you can get the car fixed soon, these things always seem to happen at the most in opportune moments (at least for me that's when it happens).

Thanks for the warm welcome Lila. My heart goes out to you, because I can so relate to your distress about ex coming and possibly taking your things. But I'm glad your nephew will be able to help, it sounds like that'll make things easier. The stickers are also a great idea! I'm not sure if ex's things are all together in one place or if they're mixed in with your things, but it might be helpful to put his things all in one place so he's not going through your things too (maybe nephew can help move?). Another suggestion is to put old sheets/blankets/covers over your things - sort of an out of sight, out of mind approach (so he doesn't see something of yours that he wants/thinks is his). Not sure if any of these suggestions are helpful, but I've used similar approaches before when we've needed to have strangers (e.g. repair people) in the house.

Ah, I like your jamming with your frogs CM. 😀 Gave me a good smile. Sorry Spring seems to be slow for you - maybe you're operating on my Autumn time when the days are getting shorter and things are slowing down. 😉

I must be off to try and get some washing and dishes done. Have a wonderful day everyone. 🙂

Lila, that sounds hopeful.

Of course you don't want your stuff missing.

I'm going to cross my fingers that the truck is big and he clears everything out. I'm imagining how lovely it will be to have your storage room back - space to sort things out in, and then to store the things that you really want to keep!

I've been working on garden and pottery. I leave for my sale in an hour and a half - I need to get there early to finish setting up because I couldn't last night. There is something wrong with my car. I was afraid I wasn't going to make it to work yesterday.

Dh came down after school and looked it over, then told me it was safe to drive on low speed surface streets for a while, so he followed me to the studio, I unloaded, and he followed me home. It took forever.

Today I am driving the truck.

Wish me luck that's will sell a lot and not buy stuff.

(Well, I will probably buy stuff - I will try to exercise restraint, but I am still mad at myself for not buying that one set of curtains last week.)

I broke a bowl when I was unloading last night, superstition says that's for luck.

Gotta go milk!

My day off! Soooo needed this.

Thank you for your thoughts. I did call my nephew and got the date he and his brother are coming with the moving truck (next Saturday). Then I emailed ex and asked what his plan is. He said he is coming Thurs to sort and "dispose" of things etc. So I emailed him back to let him him there is no room here to sort, and my trash cans are full every week with TotsFam living here. I suggested he take the neatly packed totes and boxes as-is, but that if he is determined to sort, he do it in the moving truck and take anything he does not want to goodwill before he leaves, as I do not want things left here. He was agreeable to that, so I think it will probably be ok.

TotsDad is going to move the mattresses out either tonight or tomorrow so I can start looking at boxes. I have some colored stickers I can put on the boxes and totes to indicate whose they are. I think I will try to color code them and tell nephew to only take those colors (and ex's name on them). I do have things, as I said, that I don't want him taking, that I need to move to my bedroom. I am not trying to keep anything of his. There are some "mutual" belongings that I am sure he will not use, and the court already decided that everything in my house belongs to me. But I did save his stuff as he was renting. I just don't want my stuff missing. You know?

Today so far I:
- sorted the fridge and threw out anything bad
- took 3 bags of trash to the bin outside
- washed out the fridge shelves, mostly.
- wiped some counters
- put towels and my jeans in the wash

I am going to put the wash into the dryer, sort the cabinets and wash them out (just a few), and rest. I have a cold from the grandkids.

What are you all doing this weekend?

Oh Lila, such a mess. I'm so sorry. I do not want him "sorting" through things and making a mess in your house.

I hope your nephew will be helpful to you and let you know when they are coming and agree to only load marked boxes and start in the storage room and just load everything as is.

I wish you had half a dozen strong young men who could be there to help. I remember when we moved my heart daughter out of her house. Her x was abusive. My son was 18 and I just told him to get in the truck. When we got there, there were already four pick up trucks parked on the street. The women in her life had called in all of their men and we just loaded everything she pointed to. Her x was home, but he was never in a room with fewer than two guys who were in much better shape and she had a wall of women around her at all times.

At least the mattresses will be gone. Mattresses are big!

CM, I forgot to say that my spring is going slowly to, although biologicakspring is going too fast. With rain and commitments I am struggling to get my garden in, and I feel like it is almost summer!

I have a carefully planned out list for the day. The only problem is that it includes at least two days worth of work. I am going to have to try very hard to stay focused, prioritize, and not do things that aren't on the list.

Speaking of - must go now.

Lila I am glad that you are posting and sorry about your distress. I will be thinking of you. Hi SubC Hi Cm Hi Alanna. Maybe not sad but wistful or blue? A small step up from sad.

BF's birthday is coming up. I have a full weekend ahead so that will help me through.

Good morning friends. I have read your posts and am glad to hear the good things going on. Tatoulia, I agree you seem sad, so I am praying you will find some light in the dark places and that you will feel loved.

hi SubC, I missed you too! I was working and working of course, and dealing with stuff, and starting to feel stressed. I had a bad headache this morning so stayed home to rest. I probably need to go to work this afternoon though.

Hi CM also! And hi to our new friend, Alanna! It's great to hear from you and I hope you will post all about your thoughts and how we can support you.

SubC, I would love to move all of ex's hoard out to the garage, but it is a moving van's worth and at least half the boxes are too heavy for me to carry - books and piles of things crammed in. I am very nervous about the whole situation. I do not like the idea of ex being in my home taking things, especially if I have to be at work!! And my boys also have to be at work. I was told ex is coming "a few days early to sort." I am very unhappy about that. I just want him to take all his boxes and go!! Not leave things here for me to deal with! I may have to make that clear, somehow... but how to enforce? I don't know. I am pretty sure he still has a key to my house, too. I am 99% sure he would not just come inside and take things - but a lot of my things are in the garage and storage room.

My plan to try and mitigate the stress is for TotsDad to take the old gross mattresses out of the garage and to the dump this Saturday. Then I will be able to access all the totes and boxes. Maybe in some way I can mark what is his, with stickers? or something? I do want to remove MY things from that area completely.

I hope to manage when he is here and I am here. I had a bad experience in the past with my first ex who came in and TOOK things after we were divorced.

Changing locks does not matter if you have a neurodivergent kid who will let them in regardless (oldest son,who let his dad in all those years ago but loves in another state now, and Teen, who no matter what I say will let their dad in and probably help him load up my stuff!).

My bedroom is the safe room which is locked and he has no key.

See how this is upsetting me?

I need to email ex and define when he will be here, and then call my nephew who is helping load but would honor my wishes. If nephew came before ex, he could help me move stuff.

Tired thinking about it.