Always welcome!

We appreciate all the updates. I'm glad you got help for your eye.

I have today's first load in the washer and the Bean asleep for the night. His parents came out and assembled some furniture for the new shelter by the pond (nothing fancy - plywood pre-cut) and stayed for dinner.

Bean played on the play set (still here from my kids), tossed sticks in the frog pond, watched the neighbor plant his field with a GIANT tractor and fed dandelions to the goats.

Tomorrow we plant green beans (late) and the rest of the potatoes (very late). We also need to go get more chicken feed, which will involve watching a forklift.

Road, I hope you find your papers. I'm glad your son enjoyed his prom!

Off to do evening chores!

It's me, wearing out my welcome. I picked up my medicine and I saw mom. I still need to get to grocery store for me. Just put in my first dose of the medicine. I hope it does the trick.

Running the dishwasher. Beautiful day out, 63F°

I'm on my fifth load of laundry! My pjs are in the dryer. This last load is delicates. I'd be further long but it kept rinsing the last batch, and the two times I checked on it, it said rinsing with 29 minutes to go. Oh well.

I've made my bed and more important, I had a telemedicine appointment for my eye and the rx had already been filled. I just need to pick it up!! Amazing. I signed up for the appointment, was told it would be in two hours, and to put the phone number in my contacts, and before I had a chance to do so, I received the link. So the doctor wants me to see my doctor during the week but he's ordered the antibiotic ointment in the meantime. Hoping to get some relief.

I'll go make myself something to eat since I do not want to get shaky the way I was yesterday. Cat is asleep. Do I dare make tuna for lunch?

Glad your son had a good prom!

Good work on the massive pen and junk mail purge. The awareness to throw out the broken item comes with time, and then it becomes routine. Whenever I suggest to someone at work to throw out the used up pen, they look at me like I'm crazy.

I've done my towels, which are folded and put away. My sheets are in the dryer and now I'm washing my jeans. If there's still no one in the room, I'll sneak in one more laundry. I'll do my delicates which I'll be hanging to dry. I've showered, and that feels good. Dishwasher unloaded and I have a few things to put in.

Hi everyone,

Lila, I was just starting to wonder about that long list of juicing ingredients when you clarified those went into three different juices and not all into one. 😂 and I high five you too for cleaning the fridge, saving the produce and juicing the hell out of everything. You ticked all the boxes! Sounds like a lot of positive self care... 💕

Subc, glad to hear the positive stuff happening with work and colleagues. I can just imagine how with farm living the work truly never ends. You finish many many tasks each and every day and most people would never even attempt it because it's so much hard work. I know you love the reward of the self sufficiency and ecology of it all.

Tatoulia, those are some really good tips. I'm kind of half and half on those so far. I've done huge pen and pencil purges and "won't tolerate" a pencil with a bad eraser or an iffy pen. Out they go. But that's during a focused "purge." What do I do subconsciously when I'm rummaging for something and I pick up something that doesn't work and the garbage is waaaayyy over there... it's possible I'm throwing it back in the desk not even realizing it. We tackled the junk mail years ago... reduced the incoming and directly trash direct mail everything. I do keep the Sundance catalog and will look at a few fliers but if they linger and I look at them and they are stale I do toss them. These are the EASY things to throw away. But as you said, it's the tiny things that add up. What's the expression, a decision delayed... something something? A decision delayed multiplies & extends the chaos for sure. Puppies and kids with cognitive issues and ocd don't help either! Puppy accidents and toy destruction and tissue shredding and walking on my iPad while I'm composing a post... I had relaxed a bit on locking my room every time I walked away but now my son is starting to shuffle all the things again... I found two wet wipe containers in my box of cross stitch... luckily they were old/dry so no leaks or anything. Accidental toppling of stacks... and yesterday we thought my sons friend and family were going to come to our place for pictures and even though the living room and dining room were clean, the H couldn't handle the fact that there were papers all over one half of the table so while I was occupied getting my son ready he dispatched of all that stuff and I still don't know where any of it is. And of course they cancelled! Perfect example though of how when you don't deal With things in a normal time frame, chaos ensues and multiplies...

Alrighty folks, I have dumped out the scattered contents of my brain for you again... and now I can't tie anything up with a bow because we need to get ready for a special olympics track meet.

The boy had an awesome time at prom last night, bitter sweet for mom but he was very happy.

Later!
,

Lila, you had a good "day off" and definitely got some good things done! SubC, my mother made our bread growing up. What a gift to have homemade bread each week. You amaze me. Hello abroad and CM.

I either have another stye or an eye infection or both. Terrible pain. Will need to see an eye doctor. Hopefully can get an appointment tomorrow.

Yesterday I hung out with BF, then ran a couple of errands but I got shakey so I had to come back home. I made something to eat and then just lost my motivation so that was it. I fell asleep on the couch and ended up going to bed around 9 PM.

Now I'm running a load of towels, as I am going through washcloths due to my eye. I may try to launder my sheets depending on whether anyone else will be using the machine. The building is really quiet these days.

So today, it's getting some laundry done and going to see mom. I could finish the coffee table. Don't know why I haven't. I'm out of excuses.

Good evening!

Hi Lila, I am keeping you in my thoughts. I hope your Dh steps up and helps. Nice job on rescuing the produce.

Road, I hope your son has a great prom!

I am pretty much constantly surrounded by chaos. I usually feel like I am one strong breeze away from the whole house of cards collapsing. Unfortunately almost nothing on my list is ever "done" every day there are morning chores, evening chores, milk and eggs to handle, dishes, laundry, food, things to put away that will just be used again. Most days there are lesson plans and papers to check and classes to teach and a commute. In spring there are weeds to pull and things to plant. Every week there is baking. When I skip it we run out of bread. Last weekend I weathered a goat. That made me happy because it was "done."

Tatoulia, what are you doing with your weekend?

Staff meeting was good today. I think my coteacher is good. I have employment forms to fill out and not lose. I stopped at goodwill on the way home. I didn't want anything. I need more jeans, but they won't let you try stuff on.

hi again,

thanks for posting, you guys. It helps to come and read.

Yesterday I took the day "off." What I got done:

opened two boxes that came
sorted the fridge and threw out bad produce and foods no longer good
gathered on-the-line produce that needed to be used ASAP, had my son get out my juicer, and made juice for 3 meals. I ingested the healthy tasty juice from a bowl of baby spinach, a whole package of mixed greens. 6 stalks of celery, a large cucumber, half a lemon, two green apples, a handful of grapes, a small baggie of berries, two carrots, some cherry tomatoes, and a bag of orange wedges. (Not all together - made 3 different juices of things that tasted nice together)
stared at laundry. lol

Today I spent time with a friend and relaxed. I still have some time. I plan to make a juice for dinner. I plan to do a bit of organizing.

First, everyone, sending you support. A lot of health issues going on. I am so sorry.

SubC congratulations on the job! Cm, good for you to move to the other library. I have strong street smarts, which comes from living in cities for my entire adult life. Road, if there are two pairs of shoes that don't fit your son, are they too small? Might be a good time to get rid of them. Lila, we are with you every step of the way. Do get your will written. I updated mine a few years back to leave everything to my BF and one of my girlfriends. I left to my wealthy girlfriend as she will be the best steward of my money, whether she keeps it or uses to take care of my family. Her choice. You will not find sadness in doing your will, you will feel good about it.

Road, I want to share some very small things I do which have a large impact on calming the chaos. My whole life I've seen people pick up a pen, see that it doesn't work, then put it right back in the desk or drawer. Sometimes even I'll grab a pen and someone will say, that one doesn't work. I cannot understand that. If the pen doesn't work, then get rid of it. So I have incorporated that into my daily thinking. If something doesn't work, and I know that now, then it's gone from my life. Adjusting this way has helped me to maintain the stuff in my house. I'm not aggravated when I go to get my scissors and I can only find the broken ones. The broken ones are gone. I no longer keep worn and tattered shoes to wear "in the rain" or some other perceived event. I have rain shoes for when it rains. These worn, used, not quite right things are daily irritants and add to the chaos.

So that is one small way that I try to keep up with things. It works with magazines or mail catalogs, too. If I have been shuffling it with the intention of reading, at some point I just say, clearly it's not important and I move it to the recycling bin. You'd be surprised how quickly you feel a difference, not reaching for that odd pencil with the broken tip when you just need something to write with. Eliminate the tiny "straw that broke the camel's back."

Okay I have the weekend free and open, which keeps surprising me for some reason.

?? long muse:
I've been reminded by my good friend recently that we have to take charge of our lives, even if there are things we can't control... we can still feel like we are in the drivers seat making the important decisions and steering things in the direction we want to go.

I don't know where you guys see yourselves in this context but I know I usually feel like my life is in a state of chaos. I have a day to day routine that is mostly functional but there are areas that are a total $#!T$#@W... my room, the garage, the basement... healthcare for me and my son, certain aspects of the finances... there are times I can't seem to take much action, and other times where I feel like I am much more focused and able to gain some traction or even make big advances... I remember one time taking a survey about "energy drains" and my score was basically off the charts. One thing I realized a few years ago (more in theory than practice) was that when you actually "complete" certain Types of things on your list, they are DONE and gone - sometimes forever, sometimes for a long time. You're not going to be drained by that anymore, or have a sense of dread over it... A typical person feels a lot of accomplishment when they finish something. I am not as in touch with this sensation as most people... I guess I do things because I am on auto pilot or to avoid consequences... who wants to live like that? Well, I do fun things and rewarding things to feel good, for sure... sometimes too much time spent doing stuff. Like that and not enough adulting. How do you get a sense of accomplishment from adulting?

??

Well, anyway,

Health wise, I got more lab work done. No change. In a month or two I have high hopes of seeing a positive change but prob too soon right now. Some other absurd interactions with that drs office. Definitely maybe going to see if they can be sued for this. Kidney u/s tomorrow. I think that will just tell you if you have another kidney condition that could be affecting how your kidneys function - like a deformation or Stones or cysts. Kicking butt with taking action on everything I need to do for this situation - Took a deep dive educating myself, rapidly improved diet, started losing weight, slowly improving physical activity, almost on top of follow ups with appts., etc. So yay me.

My Mom just tested pos. she's feeling ok, they are both double double so I don't expect anything too rough although my dad had a pretty good wheeze going a week or two ago. We did see them Sunday but they think they know they got it from a couple at dinner Monday. Next door neighbors have it now too.

Did a big bag of dishes yesterday from the week. And the cooking has been irregular because I'm grappling with how I need to cook for me and haven't quite incorporated that into a family cooking situation, so it's been a lot of ad hoc whatever.

Son is set for prom tonight. Suit, check, ticket, check, chaperone, check, friends to go with, check, we also have 4 pairs of shoes, 2 of which do not fit and 2 tbd... we also have 2 new shirt options and all the H's shirts to choose from. There is not a shirt alive that fits my son of course. Still hoping to find a nice tie and some Zazzy socks to bling it up. That's today's mission for me. And to just live in the moment for him tonight and not worry about all the other school bs for now. The chaperone going with him is a friend of mine who works as an aide in his program. She generously offered to take videos for me. This is major. Son also has his special olympics track meet Sunday. He's not a serious athlete like a lot of these guys are but it's just a fun carnival type atmosphere so should be good.

Alright, I better get it moving. Going to read through part of this new cookbook for kidney disease and make a plan for this weekend. I was encouraged To see that there were some southeast Asian recipes in there...

Lila, I've been thinking about you while you're dealing with the wretched limbo. You're going to figure out what you're dealing with, figure out a plan, and "git ?er done" (as my friend Monica said during treatment) then you can move forward with your life with whatever tweaks or shifts or transformations you want to make...

Hello all,

I have been dealing with all the medical tests, appointments, emotional stuff, will there be more surgery? chemo? what? Lots of doctors. It is very draining. I will be having a procedure and biopsy in a few days to find out if area number two is also cancer, or not. Pray it isn't. So I have been turning over a lot of my work to other people, training them, explaining things, letting things go. It's sad. I don't have the strength to continue it all. Breaks my heart. But I want to live, so taking care of myself and probably will not be working for a week, aside from a few hours Sunday. I need to write a will. I hate thinking about it but it has to be done. But today I am resting and having Tot over to play.

I asked DH to help with the cleaning. He said okay. But has not yet, we will see. If he can clean up the kitchen for me that will help a lot.

I am going to try and sort things today. Unpack packages that came (I had a minor online shopping spree as a stress reaction but some will be returned) and sort and try to donate things that don't matter.

Will update later - missed you all!

Road, Glad the doggie is ok! I'm looking forward to the dance report.

CM, you don't have to be comfortable as long as you are not unkind. Yay for laundry!

Worked on my classroom yesterday and filled the wastebasket and paper recycling.

Job interview went well. I guess. I did not get the job I applied for (for which I am overqualified) I got a more senior (and appropriate) job with more responsibility and higher pay. I took it. It will still be fun, but it will be more like work and less like paid vacation. They only needed me for 2 of the three weeks I told them I was available. I have a staff meeting tomorrow.

Hi guys, I will have to check in again later just wanted to let you know the doggie pulled through. She is eating, drinking, and peeing and pooping and not trying to bleed to death anymore... slightly less busy day today so I can catch up on some things. Thanks for sending your support! Back later-

Mini happy post, just kitten size today 🐈

I'm at the library, this time the more suburban branch. I feel bad that I'm so easily freaked out by strange acting men, but I am. And I'm not street smart enough to recognize what their particular issue is. Is it mental illness, meth, or what? And most importantly, are they going to harass me. I've had enough of that in my life. I'm sorry if they are special needs or suffering, yet all I am trying to do is mind my own business and not bother others.

Okay, just had to get that off my chest.

Today I got up and just decided to do a load of laundry. Did not dither and hesitate and talk myself out of it, which has been happening a lot lately. So perhaps I'm getting more adjusted to this new normalcy finally. And it is really great to be able to go in and do a big load and not worry about anything backing up in the bathtub!

Road, I hope your dog is ok.

I'm glad you are finding some comfort and inspiration for yourself.

I love the thought of your son announcing that he is happy. We do that so rarely.

On a related note - I'm very happy about CM's plumbing! It's true though that once we get one level of stress off, the next thing just seems to rise to the top.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry you had such a hard day at work.

My brain wants to turn the "fancy with the cat post" comment into a song about CM set to the "fancy like Applebee's" song.

I decided I was wasting too much time sitting online in the morning and gave myself an extra hour of sleep last night. Trying to see if I can get better rested and more efficient.

It's a new class session at the studio so I am going on Wednesday nights and learning some new techniques to throw bigger pots. - I'm sure Dh will be so excited - bigger pots! More space! It was fun though. The class is being taught by the studio owner.

I have my job interview for summer camp there after school today.

I am starting to clean out my classroom for the summer (4.5 weeks) which unfortunately means I am bringing home a bunch of stuff. I'm trying to use the trash can.

Ok, 5 hours until I leave for school, but I have over planned it all!

Look at you, all fancy with the cat post! Wow CM!

I am so grateful you have plumbing again! I still don't know how you did it. I am so glad your roommate let go of the idea that your handyman could fix.

I lost my cool at work today. I just got upset and I was a bit tearful. But I had nothing to be ashamed of. I didn't swear or get loud or say anything nasty. I just felt the weight of the layers of bureaucracy upon me.

I was proud of myself for not swearing and not doing the weird stuff I used to do like blaming it on personal stress. Or swearing. Or trying to mask it by shifting the focus and blaming myself. I kept it focused on the actual problem so I think that was good. But I did shed a few tears.

House clean and looks beautiful.

Sheesh! It has been so hard to get a chance to sit down at the computer! Either it's just inconvenient, or Windows decides to do updates so I have to shut it down, and if I go do something else, I get sidetracked.

This post probably won't be the bright shining comprehensive post I had envisioned but that's okay. Besides, I had been feeling a bit down in the dumps a couple days ago so if I'd posted then it would've been depressing to read anyway. So this is going to be at least a bit happier post.



I'm at the library, and I don't want to stay too long. This is the downtown one. The branch, I tried again the other day and am pretty much done with that place. It just makes me uneasy. The downtown one can as well. But I'm a little more savvy where to sit and stuff - even so, there was a young man earlier going through ranting with a wild look in his eyes - mentally ill or high, I don't know which. I was ready to pack it in, but then I didn't hear him anymore so I stayed.

Our plumbing job is officially finished with yesterday's filling in of the hole with cement. Rainy days kept postponing that part. Weather here is still so changeable, and we may get a big storm tonight, another reason not to stay too long away from home.

Now that the plumbing is done, my main challenge is trying to work around roommate's working-from-home for these last few months until she retires. That's more difficult since she got her new bunny awhile back, because she has been taking her computer and work back to the bunny pen in the mornings to supervise the new bunny and her other bunny to make sure they play nicely. Because the other bunny died of stomach problems, roommate wants to give the bunnies morning and evening exercise. Which is a good idea.

But it means I have to get bunny feeding done early, then since neither I nor roommate need to go out to use a restroom somewhere, we're doing the kitchen shuffle getting our respective breakfasts, or the cat feeding shuffle, or whatever. It's definitely better than before, don't get me wrong, but not without the aggravations that were there prior to the plumbing breakdown, and the added complication of her bunny routine.

I'll stop complaining. Just a few months and she will retire. And there'll be some adjustment there but hopefully in a more positive direction.

Still also trying to figure out where to fit in my catching up on laundry, and how to embark on decluttering. Days feel so chopped up. I had migraines a couple days last week too.

Okay weird guy is back, over and out.

You have a lot of tough stuff going on, Road, and it is emotionally and mentally heavy. Your son will be upset about school but I sense he will at any age, whether it is this year, next year or the year after. I hope he can stay another year.

In a former life I was the advocate (and sister) of a mentally and physically ill person. The fight was tremendous and non-stop. And the guilt. I would feel guilty, my brother would pick up on that and make it worse and then my mother would pile it on too. A different situation, to be sure, and I'm not trying to compare your fight for your son. I want you to know that I understand the overwhelming responsibility it is to be an advocate. I'd take him to the doctor, then fight with to get the meds covered by insurance, then fight this thing and that things and it wouldn't end and yet as women we are made to feel guilty no matter the outcome good or bad. I am so sorry you and your sweet son are going through this. You both deserve better.

Okay getting ready for work. Ttyl.

Good morning people...

Watching "Heal" on prime video right now. It's about people who had serious medical issues and healed against conventional odds. Thumbs Up so far.

Everyone have a great day. ❤️❤️

Hi all,

Some pretty epic stress today. Suffice it to say we are still in limbo With sons placement for next year and trying to decide whether or not to involve an atty. He does have a girlfriend but her parents don't want her to date yet and she can't go to prom because they have too much going on in their life right now. She will be so disappointed when she sees pictures and stuff. Nothing I can do though. Maybe next year she can invite My son. Re my health stuff, talked to a close friend who's an RN, acupuncturist, Chinese med, etc. and she kicked me in the ass and. Helped me reframe everything in a more empowering way. So I am taking all of her advice and took a lot of action yesterday and today. Had some challenges finding a new doctor, but making progress and still sticking to diet. And now our older dog is really ill and has to stay overnight at emergency vet. I think she almost bled to death today. Not sure yet what's wrong. The most stressful thing in all of this is having to tell my son high school is over (if we decide not to fight) and hopefully I am not having to tell him his dog died on top of everything... he was just laying there and with a huge smile on his face he said "feel feel happy. So so glad." He is so sweet.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Subc, keep us posted on your summer job. Cute that bean calls you Grammie. Tatoulia, I like hearing about your coffee table. It gives me hope - it really does.

Lila and Cm, thinking of you too.

Home from work, showered, ready for bed. Cleaners tmr.

I should look around after work for some zero time slots.

Bean works very hard.

Yesterday he got upset because I decided to unload the dishwasher by myself while he was riding around on his truck. He came over and selected some items he could carry. I heard him tell himself "good helper."

He also insisted on filling the wagon with rocks as we walked back through the pasture and unloading them on the rock pile. If the rock was too big for him to pick up he pointed at it and announced firmly "Grammie carry big rock." Bean likes rules and order. He may be the thing that finally tips me out of chaos.

Yay for the coffee table! If you do zero more time today, you can finish the other half! - lol!

I need to put some zeros into my space!

Coconuts!

Road that makes me happy to hear about your son's dance! Does he have a date?

SubC you did a lot today! And bean is getting a lot done, too.

After work, I gathered up the kitty litter and recycling and took out back. Went to mom's with some waters and oj. Changed the litter at her house, then went up grocery store.

I've done half of my coffee table. Took zero time.

Dish washer is set to start in an hour. I need to shower and go to bed.

Sending everyone warm wishes for good health.

I recovered and had a great day with Bean.

We planted peas and overseeded the pasture and fed the goats and did the milking and saw baby bunnies in a nest in the garden (the momma will move them now) and made biscuits. Also, Papa took him for tractor ride.

House is a mess.

I have a job interview on Thursday after school for summer camp. (I only want to work 3 of the 11 weeks, which should be a disqualifier, but it includes the week they are having trouble filling and the woman interviewing me already asked me if I'm free for a planning meeting on Saturday)

Good morning!

Very exciting on the real shoes tatoulia!

I know you drove home "the long way" but I like imagining you successfully completing your fabric mission and driving home like royalty.

Road, I am sorry about your health issues, but glad you are doing well on you diet. Science advances all the time, so do your best and be hopeful.

I tried to work on the garden yesterday, but it was hot and I only got one more bed planted. If Bean and I don't get the peas in today I'll have to plant them alone.

I did run the dishwasher twice and do a load of laundry.

I slept badly last night and woke up with a headache. "Woke up" being questionable as I have been up for 40 minutes and am still fighting sleep. My stomach is not happy about the coffee this morning, which isn't helping.

Hi all,

Oh I loved that story, too, sub c. And Tatoulia, I appreciate your stories about your mom too. My MIL and my dad both have issues with boundaries.

Pretty good weekend here. Sat am kind of slow start. The guys went to breakfast. We used to go every sat. During Covid we stopped. Eventually the guys started going again. I found I was usually too uptight about being in the restaurant so no one had any fun. Haha. Not sure about the numbers around here since no one is testing... One of the H's close friends at work just came down with it but he doesn't think he's been within arms reach of him for awhile. Our planned 2nd boosters got thwarted a few times when wag's was allowing appointments without having vax supply. This is what computers are for people! So we still need to get that done. My son is going to prom next sat and I'm trying not to think of all the hot breathing out on the dance floor... ok now I'm picturing it. Yes we better get that shot tomorrow. Shoes arriving tues, suit can be picked up weds. I'm shopping for snazzy shirt and tie in the meantime... parents are coordinating a bit and all that stuff...

Received my jeans and shorts bins today. These are fabric basket bin things to sit on the shelves yet to be installed for my closet. They look pretty good and are the size I pictured. The closet isn't as deep as I thought though so I won't have room for all and will just return one set of them I guess.

I was thinking today about the garage. I haven't done anything in there at all this spring and prob won't be able to now for a few weeks. But I. Know if I don't start taking this on as my main hobby or job it will just never get done. Must. Focus!

Have been doing well with the diet changes in Regards to kidney issues. But I felt really tired today and my feet are really swollen tonight. Ordered three recommended books today. Still haven't talked to my family about it yet. I've been poking around in a fb group and picking up some good info. Sounded like people's numbers go up and down a bit but generally trend downward over time. Mine have been going down over years, I just wasn't aware of it. As with everything perspective is important. There are people freaking out who are where I was ten years ago. And they don't realize they are lucky they found out when they did because now they can do something about it. And then the other way, there was a woman who was only 28 and also has a daughter with special needs, and she's further down the line than me. She was born with 3 kidneys but two were damaged and now she's down to one. I worry about making it past 75 but she's prob worried about making it to 50.

Carpe diem peeps!

Very easy time at the fabric store. Mom wasn't too talkative and a very kind young person helped her. Very good time. I drove the king way home.

I'm finishing second load of laundry. I want to put on pjs and relax. No I haven't done 5he coffee table. I don't know what is the matter here.

Okay I love this story. All of it. Every minute.

I will bring you as much TP as you like!

So I had dinner with BF last night to celebrate his birthday and I wore real shoes. Like a grown up. Not just flats or all burds. We had a wonderful night. We closed down the restaurant and this AM the waiter thanked me for our kindness. I am friends with the waiter.

I am supposed to take mom out today. She wants sewing things even though I know she cannot sew any longer. She's been talking about the same fabric and skirts for twenty years. But now it's too late. But I'll still take her to the fabric store and let her buy the notions she needs.

We shall see if she is still up for it. She may not be. I haven't had her out in the car in a long time. If it were warmer I'd take her out in the wheelchair to the park but still too cold.

Ok, I have slept for nine hours and am now merely tired and vaguely human.

Tatoulia, I am sorry about the stress from your mom.

We are down to our last roll of toilet paper. Would you please bring some over? We're capable of getting it ourselves, but I'd like to meet you.

A "third place" is a place that is neither work nor home where people gather and spend time in groups. Like church, or the quilting shop, or community theatre, or a bowling alley. My husband's "third place" is his golf league. It is full of people who are part of his life whom I will probably never meet.

My people are not his people. My people are arts people. They have tattoos and green hair and piercings and gauges and hillbilly beards and outlandish, flamboyant clothing. They are warm and wonderful and accepting and supportive, but also wary of outsiders. I love my Dh, but he is on the conservative edge of my world, and he can be very judgemental. When we were dating, he did very badly with my friends. But he was young.

Yesterday went very well. He recognized that he was a guest in a new place, and everyone was incredibly warm to him. I think it helped that when H's nephew saw that Dh had cash, he set himself up next to Dh and proceeded to give him a complete rundown on the space and the people. The cash drew him because he was wearing his security guard uniform and thought he would be useful to have nearby. H is one of the artists, and her nephew Danny is a regular at the studio. He's about thirty, has Down's syndrome, and is always in character of some type. Dh being Dh completely missed the Down's syndrome part (Danny was masked and capped), assumed he was actual security, and having lost Danny's name asked another vendor "what's the security guy's name again?" The confused vendor offered the name of our Jack of all trades who was wearing an orange vest (but not a regular one, a bright orange llbean puffy vest even though it was 85) and directing parking. And Dh said, "no, the inside guy? He's kind of short?"

Anyway, everyone was extremely kind to him and he was impressed (and a little surprised) by how nice they all are. He was also shocked that all of these people know me and come over and talk to me and joke with me and seem happy to see me.

(Ok, I am now realizing that he did better with my friends than I do with his, but his friends are not warm and welcoming and they all think I'm weird.)

It was a light day and we both had enough sales to be worth going but nothing big.

Today he has forgotten everyone's names but he wants to do it again in the fall and they want him back.

You didn't hear about it because I didn't do it.

Yesterday morning I did chores, then I took the boxes of unsold pots from where I left them after the 2019 holiday sale, stuffed them in the car with my booth furniture, a bucket full of tadpoles, a chick in a bucket, a heat lamp, and a stack of materials and half done lesson plans, and drove to school.

I set up the critters in my room, taught all day, sent the tadpoles home with heartgrandson, drove down to the studio, and set up by putting out the 80% of stuff in the boxes that wasn't Christmas focused.

Then I went back to school, got the chick, drove home, did chores, slept, did chores, went to the sale, did ok - more info later, packed up, drove home, took a call from my dd2 about her latest relationship disaster - long journey to everything turned out more or less ok- laid my head down for a minute, and fell asleep.

Apparently my arm was pinned under me and I woke up about half an hour later with a throbbing elbow.

Felt dehydrated, drank water, did chores and am now trying to drink more water so I can sleep.

I would love to buy one of your pots, SubC. We didn't hear too much about your getting ready for the sale. I hope it goes well for you! I'm trying to understand what you are saying about your husband. Is it that this is something you like to do alone? Totally understandable, If that is the case.

My mother called me this AM. I was still in bed. She started with this drawn out story. She didn't even say hello. She started with something about how another awful thing has happened and then sort of "got comfy" in the tale, "well, I was going into the bathroom this AM, just going in in my wheelchair, etc., etc" I said "jump to the important part" and the upshot is she is out of toilet paper. That's it. So I summarized her story by saying, mom, so you are out of toilet paper? And she said yes. And I asked her not to be so dramatic.

It reminds me of many years ago when I was in grad school and under a lot of pressure while working full time and she called me and said, what's the worst thing to happen and I just lost it and told her she couldn't call me until I was finished with my graduate thing which was three weeks away. That was it. I didn't want her to call me. I couldn't do it. I needed that time off to not get calls that start out super dramatic. And at one point she had her secretary call me and tell me to call my mom and that mom was crying and I said, nope. So I've been a little resentful of her today. Thinking about how when I went to France and The Netherlands for a few weeks one summer, she told me I had to give her my info of where I'd be and I refused. And some other trip where I refused to give her my info (maybe Japan?) And she said who will pick out my casket when I die? I wouldn't give her my info solely to not receive made up emergencies. I went to California with a boyfriend many, many, many years ago and she agitated everyone in my life while I was gone, telling them I'd gotten married without inviting her. Funny how her call this AM dragged up this stuff for me. But do you know what? It's on me. ultimately, I did this to me.

Bear in mind I had to go there twice last night for other emergencies.

Bf and I will be celebrating his birthday tonight and I haven't even showered. I am, for the first time since before the pandemic, having a lip wax. I hope the red calms down before dinner.

Spring pottery sale today.

Dh is selling coffee.

I'm a little nervous about having him in my "3rd space".

Wish us luck - especially wish me luck getting rid of inventory!

COCONUTS AND HUGS!

Hi everyone,

CM, we need an executive functioning app.

Sub c, hope you keep improving. Yes, ours is 21 here also but because they have a "transition" program they want him there. None of them had any valid reasons. They just don't want to set a precedent, I'm sure. We aren't sure what we are doing yet. We could fight but it would be costly and stressful and now I feel like they've all betrayed him and that's a bad feeling. So still up in the air for a few more days I guess.

Tatoulia and Lila, I enjoyed reading about your donations. Keep reporting on that because it definitely inspires me.

I gathered up the weighted blanket I bought for my son and am folding it up to return it. He and his dad rejected it.

Will try to get lab work done tomorrow and then identify two more goals to check off in the health department. It's a strategy to not get too overwhelmed. When I feel that way I tend to blow it off because I'm perceiving what has to be done as a mountain... Have to just keep chipping away at it til things seem more manageable.

Lunch with bff. I requested we hit a family rest. Instead of usual Thai because I still Haven't worked out how to find something safe to eat in a Thai rest. Which is oh so depressing to me. I know they make stuff to order so maybe I can work it out. Still, the fish sauce and egg rolls, (and and and...) it's all out I think. Silver lining... I am certainly losing weight which I need to do in all of the scenarios so that's good.

Alright everyone, I leave you with a cheer::: gimme a C! Gimme an O! Gimme another C! Gimme an "onuts!" What's that spell?! COCONUTS! (& hugs)

Hi

Been trying all week to get to my computer to make a really long post. But this week has been pretty fragmented with all the backlog from the last few months. Also the evil tree pollen made my roommate really sick over Easter weekend. I went to Target to fetch her an additional HEPA filter unit - and while there, got another migraine, from the fluorescent lights I guess. Luckily and thankfully not one with a bad headache, just visual weirdness which passed.

Too much to do, too little time and crappy executive functioning due to tiredness. In other words, the usual. Better energy today though. Weather still uncooperative. Hoping next week will see improvement.

I'll still get a longer post written; I just don't know when.

Feeling a little better but still feeling crummy.

Not taking medicine anymore.

Road, I'm sorry your son has to graduate. Here you can stay in high school until your are 21 if you have special needs or were held back.

Cheering for progress and hoping for medical stuff.

Hugs and coconuts!

Lila, great work! What a good thing to get rid of those syrup bottles! Today in the bags to goodwill there were three things I didn't want to get rid of. Wasn't ready. Now they are gone and I'll never think of them again.


Sending you support.

Thank you for the support. I hope to get back to some kind of regular, productive posting next week.

Medical stuff all day. Feeling hopeful with a good team. Waiting for decisions to be made. In the meantime I am working all weekend going to another site. It will be very very long days and nights but probably fun. Will be a nice distraction.

Yesterday I emptied and got rid of 4 old bottles of flavored coffee syrups. They were dusty, big, taking up space and expired. Now they are gone and there are dust-free rings on the counter where they were. Will wipe off the counter next week... too much stuff on it to deal with now.

I sorted some papers today.

Road, I am sorry about the stressful meeting at your son's school. I am sorry that they won't keep him another year. Sounds like he enjoys it and it provides a nice place for him during the school year. I honestly cannot imagine what it is like living with a difficult spouse and I'm sorry for that too. Praying for your health. You have a lot going on and be sure to remember we are here for you.

My day shaped up okay. I woke up early (for me) at 8:30 and did two loads of laundry. I washed one load with white bathrobe and my towels (also white) then a load of jeans (I hang to dry). Then I saw BF, went to goodwill with two more bags, went inside goodwill and left without buying a thing, then drove to consignment to pick up my jewelry that didn't sell. I didn't buy anything there, either. I stopped at another place on way home and once again did not purchase. Then I saw BF, then came home and napped. I picked up my comforter from the laundry; it is all wrapped up and ready to spend the summer in the closet. I'm now doing a load of laundry which consists of darks that go in the dryer. I know I do a lot of small loads. It makes me happy and it comes to me naturally.

My brother was having an issue today and I think I solved that. All around an ok day. I'm glad I had it off.

I'm now chipping away at the coffee table. It's nearly 10 so I can't do much more shredding. I think the downstairs neighbors are away but just in case. Their bedrooms are underneath my living area so I don't want the shredder to bother them. That's the news from here!

Hi all, Tatoulia, hows your day off going?

SubC, feeling any better?

Lila, CM, any updates?


We had our school meeting today. Did not go well so not sure what we will do next. Had to involve the H since I am crying so easily right now but he comes off as too combative in meetings so it's a mixed bag (but I couldn't have said much without blubbing. So aggravating.) we were just asking to stay another year at the high school for a number of good reasons and as we figured they won't budge. Of course they put this meeting off for 3 months basically just to say no. We will talk about it when he gets home and im going to ask some friends for their advice also. I'm not sending off any emails today that's for sure.

I have scheduled the u/s for my kidneys. Unfortunately I delayed scheduling wrapping my head around the whole thing and they're backed up so I won't be able to get that done for a few weeks. Might do the lab work tomorrow. I was really feeling terrible physically a few days ago and that was concerning because if I'm following this kidney disease diet properly I should feel same or better, not worse, but who knows. I do feel pretty good today. It seems very serious and daunting but I won't really know just how much trouble I'm in (or not) until I get a few more tests I think and talk to a different medical person.

So much to juggle right now with end of the school year, extracurricular activities and possibly graduation.

I'm sorry you are sick, SubC! Glad that your mom called at the right moment!

I'm doing a load of laundry and I'm mapping out my day off. I'll keep everyone posted.

I was whining. I typed "I want my mom." My mom instant messaged me at that moment. I left to reply, and when I came back my whine was gone.

Tired, overwhelmed. Making no progress. Still sick. Carry on..

I'm taking tmr off. Was supposed to do something with BF Thursday and Friday. Now moved to next week. Still takingtmr off.

Cleaners were here today. Glad to have clean sheets.

Poor SubC. I'm so sorry. I take a lot of prescription meds for depression and thyroid, (anyone reading this beyond our core group, please be kind, I know that meds aren't for everyone), but I too have problems with OTC cold, sinus, allergy meds. Do what is right for you.

Thank you for the kind words. It is just the one surface in my home that is a problem. Maybe tonight.


I am running massively late for work. I don't want to go in today.

Tatoulua, I do that too. Honestly, I think it's tiredness. You reach a point where you just don't have the energy.

Also, I would love it if there was one surface in my home that was driving me nuts. However, we can send the badger over to have a look at it.

I am trying to decide if I can go to school today. I feel a little better, and I haven't taken the decongestant yet, but that is because my body seems to be reacting badly to the medication. I don't usually take drugs, and to avoid tmi, I'll just say my digestive system apparently wants them out quickly. That doesn't work in a classroom that doesn't even have a bathroom on the same floor.

Off to see if I can get through chores..

I really wasted tonight. Nothing to show for it. I didn't do a thing.

I've showered and now I'm running the dishwasher. Back in office again tmr. Today there were only three people on my side of the floor. Wednesdays, everyone is required to come in. I've asked two of my employees not to come in. One due to her roommate having Covid and the other one had a covid exposure last week but I still told her to stay home if she wants.

I don't know why I insist on wasting my time.

Ended up eating my lunch at 9:30.

Just getting in. I made the mistake of bringing my lunch today so I'd def up eating my ,inch at 9:30. I thought, I'll put this in the fridge, oh I'll eat half, we'll let's polish that off. It did sustain me all day but I'd rather eat my salad that I buy everyday at work.


I need to clean off my coffee table. It is a terrible mess. I don't want to live like this. All other surfaces are clean and clear. Wish me luck. Yes I need luck.

Hi all,

Once again, I wrote a long post with messages for everyone and didn't notice my battery warnings and poof! When will I learn?! I'm up with insomnia and made the mistake of checking some old medical records and now I have insomnia AND am newly agitated. Maybe I will take a melatonin,

I must remember to copy and paste next time.

For now I will just say Lila, I'm sending you support. I have motivated myself similarly - it's only natural - but if you can, try to banish the thoughts of if/when you're gone what will happen and instead try to invest in thoughts of when you survive/thrive how you will enjoy positive changes in your home. Visualize yourself far into the future enjoying your home and your life.

Sending good thoughts out to everyone. 💕💕💕💕💕
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