THE SON IS TAKING THE JEEP!!!!!!!

Now he has to figure out how to move a derelict Ford that's behind it so he can get that Jeep out.

Two fewer derelict vehicles/campers for me to have to maneuver around.
Fewer places for wasps to build nests!

HAPPY DANCING :D

I have the pink slip right here on the fridge ready to finalize the deal. :D

Good Morning Everybody!

Hi CriticalMass
Feel all better real soon.
Enchiladas and home made chicken soup will be Great medicine. :D

Very glad you took some photos of the old computer.
You two went through a lot together over the years.

In no time at all you will be accustomed to the new computer system and able to work around any frustrations.

Hi Tatoulia
Happy your London fog with a down vest was warm enough.
Wishing you a great day at work today. :)


Hi Subclinical
Relieved the chicks are doing so well. :)

Hope things get straightened out about that parent.
This year you have an extremely full schedule without much time for other things.

WTG! for locating the wax for the log project.


Roofers back working.
From what I can see from the ground it looks so much better than it has ever looked before.

The Father is taking the ratty little camp trailer!!!!!!!!!
The son is seriously considering taking the Jeep!
Fingers crossed.
Now Steven has to move a huge mess of hoard out of the way to get the trailer free so it can be hauled out.
Yesterday I cleared all Steven's hoard out of the inside of that camper trailer and Steven started yelling at me and being nasty.
I think he wanted it all sorted out and put somewhere, not just all put into boxes/totes???
Anyways I called him a "B" and now I won't help him at all any more.
His way of clearing to get the camper out has been to sit there and just play with all the things he has heaped out there, no progress.

Top of my right knee is deep grayish purple from my fall but fortunately doesn't hurt except when I touch the bruise.
Slept in this morning. My back hurts from clearing out the camper trailer.
And I am still pizzed at Steven.

Scooter still hides when the roofer shows up but he is not terrified any more and quickly recovers soon as the workers leave.
Jack is lurking about the edges but runs to me when he sees me outside.
Cautious.
Twinkles has no problem napping and ignoring all that's going on.

You can add me to the people who don't understand computers, but I understand losing the stuff on one. I know computers were supposed to solve the paper issue, but I keep paper backups of anything I don't want to loose - so many lists of bookmarks scribbled on scrap paper! I need to do better.

I also resist change once I learn how to do something.

Tatoulia, I'm glad you were warm enough. It got down to 8 here, but it is a "balmy" 29 now. The chicks made it through.

I got an email from a parent last night that I don't know what to do with. She said my boss wanted her to talk to me about doing a class I am already doing and when could we meet to discuss it. I forwarded the email to my boss and said "I am confused. Is she teaching next year? What do you want me to do?" This is not a parent I want to spend time with and even if it were, the time is dear right now.

Honestly, I am thinking about cutting back my hours next year so I can focus more on pottery and because I will have a grand baby and need downtime. So I would hand off the class willingly, but also completely. I am not going to be her mentor, and I cannot coteach with her.

I found my wax in the basement, so I can take it in and use it for sealing our mushroom logs tomorrow - less in the basement, more class budget for something else.

We will do candles also, but not this week.

Cm I am proud of you for working through the computer issues. I don't understand a word of it and I'm so proud of you! We switched to windows 10 at office and honestly I haven't noticed a change so clearly it's different on a personal computer vs a work computer where I use the same stuff all the time. Because I know everyone is complaining about windows 10.

Ok back to office tmr. Another day at the office. Honestly how did I ever go in five days! I'm very spoiled. Having another big day there tmr. I should be nervous but I'm not.

Tillie I do need to show some flexibility in my routines. I used to change my sheets on the weekend, which could mean Saturday or Sunday. I'm probably going to work from home on Friday. So it's fine.

Tillie Keep me posted on the roofers!!

I wore my London Fig with a down vest under it. I was fine.

Going back through some posts, plus have some news to tell. This could end up long.

I've still been sick but may be finally starting to lick the illness itself. The full restoration of energy will take slightly longer. Temperatures here trending out of that cold snap and supposedly will be steady in the 50s-60s the next few days.

Tillie - Enchiladas are something I've been wanting to make too, and the other day I found affordable non-GMO corn tortillas. So, soon there will be enchiladas. Also, hope you didn't jar your bones too much when you fell! And glad the hazard was removed. Finally, thanks for the reminder about chicken soup. I thought Monday evening I should make some yesterday from some deli pulled chicken leftovers and dried spaetzle noodles. Then I forgot. Can make it today.

Tatoulia, glad you have that lamp. My psych dr had some in her office the other day and we talked about it as a possibility. I doubt Medicare would pay for it, though. So I do my workarounds - Vitamin D supplements, going outside when it isn't too cold, my Winter Journal, prayer, bunny and kitty snuggling...

I've also been doing what Tillie mentioned, being proactive and stocking up on staples a bit so that as the grocery and Walmart crowds get ever more big and hectic, I won't have to be in them too often. I believe that our different neural circuitry that makes us less tolerant of the overstimulation of modern everyday activities such as shopping, is also what makes it harder to make sense of our living spaces, possessions, decisions, and and daily tasks.

WTG Tatoulia for listing the chair, and for shredding!

Milk Duds are usually my go-to movie candy. Especially for a suspenseful movie, gotta have something that I can really chew, helps my nerves. Popcorn is great if I'm with someone who wants to blow the money for it. Extra buttery oil, please. Live dangerously. No liquids for me though, or I won't be able to sit through the show.

SubC, hope chickie babies are snug and toasty and doing well.

Now for the latest about the computer. Tatoulia you are right, it's not convenient but I'll get through it. It was quite a mind blowing mix of feelings last night, saying goodbye to the old one. It has been my auxiliary brain through an eventful decade. I bought it with my last decent tax refund from my days in the workforce, in early 2010! I took a couple pictures of it. Guys at computer place probably thought I was a crazy old lady. Oh well.

The data retrieval from the old hard drive, I did not understand until reading the work ticket, only includes data files, not programs. So I won't have my old Microsoft Office that I liked, not even for reference. I'll have to learn about Libre Office or perhaps an alternative.

Plus no programs means bye-bye old Chrome web browser, with any history and bookmarked websites therein. This is what I just went through on my Android tablet recently!

I'm sure you all understand that it's disconcerting. Lately with my physical clutter struggle I had idly wondered the old "what if" a tornado or fire claimed my papers and I just had to reconstruct what I could and accept that some was just gone?

It's both harder and easier to be going through this while sick and fuzzy headed. Harder to think - but also don't have the energy to overthink. And maybe I've momentarily exhausted my ability to feel frustrated at computers. And at my own human limitations, ADHD creativity or no, to capture all the ideas my mind generates, plus track the day-to-day things to remember...

I keep returning to, well, Lord, I'm alive, so that's something, and I'm thankful. Literally feel in wonderment that in the 21st Century one CAN still have a heartbeat, breathe, eat, move, etc. even if one's technology is compromised.

So anyway, the deets: I picked out a refurbished Dell laptop. They will remove the Windows 10 and install a Linux operating system - I think we settled on Mint, which is said to behave and look fairly close to my beloved Windows 7 (i.e., Windows before Microsoft ruined it). I jotted down a list of software I had that I could recall, many of which are open source already, easy to get again. I will spend these days, till I pick up my new satellite brain, learning Linux.

Finally: The library computers use Windows 10 so if I can't figure out right away how to do something on my new one, I can run up there. Or use my roommate's laptop after hours. Knowing that helps my jitters to calm down.

I have to laugh that of course this all happened during National Novel Writing Month.

All in all, for me, given the suddenness of everything (I hate surprises and forced change) I'm handling this reasonably well. Thanks be to God.

Going to lay my fuzzy head down for a cat nap now.

Good Morning Everyone
"Clink!"

Have a good day at school today Subclinical :D

Hi Tatoulia
Could you call the cleaners and ask about getting your coat?
If it's out of storage and ready to pick up yet?

True, the weather reports do tend to get carried away and then they are still wrong more often than not.
I always think they should just look out the window to know what the weather is doing. ;p

Good luck finding time to change the sheets.
So nice having a set schedule but sometimes we must be flexible. ;)

Time to get dressed, roofer will be here soon.

I understand now. I'm a city girl and really understand so little. But I try to be kind and gentle and try not to judge that which I don't understand. I don't like cruelty (who does?) and I can understand both the need to cull the herd and the need to feed your family!

I'm showered and sitting here with my lamp. My dr said I can also add some vitamin D to my regimen.

So it's cold here. My winter coat is still at the drycleaners. I don't know if my London Fog cost will be warm enough. I can add a down vest to it.

They promised us snow, Tillie, but I don't think we got any. They are so foolish on tv. Everything's super hyped. And they will have twelve different models of what could happen. Relax. Tell it to us straight. We don't need constant graphics.

Ok it's 19F. I'm going to be in trouble getting to work. I didn't plan this right. I'm wondering if I can get my coat from drycleaners on way to work. I wonder if he's pulled it out of storage.

Oh, no, Tatoulia, the deer is in Steve's freezer! (Well, at the moment it's probably hanging in Steve's garage) I'm a vegetarian. Dh eats meat, but he never takes any when the hunters offer.

I am happy because Steve has meat for his family, and I have one less deer destroying the trees, eating my garden, and bringing illnesses to my goats. I always admire the deer when the hunters get them, but I feel a little like when Mr. kitty brings me a rat. "Yes, that is wonderful and very impressive! Thank you for helping out. Now you go ahead and eat that...."

Much to do to get ready for school today!

Tillie I like this roofer. Making it safer for you. I really appreciate his sensitivity and good work. Congratulations on finding him.

Oh boy, Cm, how awful to lose the computer. They all die out at some point. And it's never convenient or good. I haven't used my laptop in probably seven years. I wish I could send it to you but I have no idea about whether it even works. Last time I tried to use it, I had to buy a new battery. I got the new battery and still never used it.

SubC, I'm thrilled that you have venison in the house! I would expect you to only know responsible hunters. I don't know if you have to age it or how it all works but if you are happy, I am happy.

Tillie I brought M&Ms and rolos. They didn't have Jr mints and oddly all out of plain Hershey bars. BF brought gummy lifesavers and left an entire bag in my purse. I found it this AM once at the office and he told me to keep the pack, so I can make friends. I haven't made any new friends at work but maybe tmr?! He got popcorn. I can't digest it so I just enjoyed my sweets.

Tillie I'm glad you are there for Scooter.

Ok I have to go to the office tmr. I don't want to, and it's throwing off my changing sheets schedule.

Goodnight dear friends.

Hi Subclinical
High fives to you for the responsible culling of the deer herd.
Most city people do not understand that all the deer suffer when the population is too high and there is not enough food for all of them.
My family only hunted for food and were allowed to take as many as we could eat due to deer over population after most of the cougars were killed.
I have hope that someone will gift me with a small steak this season.
Once I made jerky/pemmican out of an entire buck but it was so delicious everyone ate it within a month.

I am sure the chicks are in the best possible place to weather the cold.
Shelter with extra heat sources and you overseeing them. (((HUG)))

WAY TO GO! for a most excellent day today! :D

You stay warm.
Don't take any unnecessary risks out in the snow.

Sleep well. :)

Tillie, I am so happy about your roof!

Snow here and dropping to 11 tonight. Hope the chicks will stay warm enough in the barn! I did my best - extra lamps and metal reflectors in a sheltered corner of the barn.

CM, I too hope your computer situation resolves well.

Tatoulia, I hope your blood pressure is ok. Too low is also scary.

I had an excellent day at school today, swam, and came home to find dh cooking and our hunter friend gutting a deer. The deer population is a problem here, so we invite hunters, but only responsible ones who practice good stewardship and fill their freezers, not trophy racks.

Very tired.

My condolences CriticalMass on the demise of your computer. :(

Best wishes finding a suitable replacement.

Stay warm.
Inhaling the steam from a hot cup of chicken noodle soup is good for the throat & sinus passages.
Keep your feet warm at all times, really helps overall.

Scooter did a bit better today, not as terrified.
Roof is coming along very nicely.
Looks better than it's ever looked before all along the edges.

SubC, I just scrolled further down and saw about the baby. So happy you got happy news.

Tatoulia, I always wish you the best as well with health, happiness, and kitty cuddles.

More later!

It's been nasty cold here, delaying my recovery from the crud.

SubC, been praying for you.

Tillie, hope the roof job is completed to specs and maybe you can recruit the roofer's girlfriend here - we'd all take her under our wing.

My old computer is definitely too far gone. Will probs be placing order for is successor this eve.

Sadly, the guy doesn't seem to think my old MS Office will play nicely with Linux. And last night, in a lengthy session on my roommate's laptop to do what I could to get the bunny club newsletter out, I got to discover several things I really HATE in Libre Office.

But these things probably have workarounds somehow. It's so similat to the van situation - the old conked out suddenly and while I had been thinking about new but not had a chance or money to be super specific about what I wanted.

However, it all worked out so well with the van and hopefully it will with the laptop as well.

Good Afternoon

Been wondering...
Who all here is getting snow and/or super low freezing temps?

You all stay safe and warm as possible. (((HUG)))

Here we are experiencing highs in the mid 60s.
No rain or snow predicted.

Good Morning Everybody
"Clink!"

Hi Tatoulia
So, what kind of candy did you take to the movies?
I always take my own candy too. LOL ;)
Must be nice to have a dishwasher that you set & it will wash dishes later.

The roofer will be here soon.
Scooter has been clingy since yesterday.
Slept cuddled about my throat all night, still attached to my body even now.
Hoping this experience helps him get over his extreme fear of humans.
Trying to maneuver through the yard hoard yesterday my foot got caught on a wire and I fell hard.
The roofer was very concerned and then he removed that trip hazard once and for all. :D

Got the garbage and recycling out before leaving for the movies. Had also set the dishwasher to start in three hours. Now I'm home and it is running!

Saw Harriet, which was a phenomenal movie. Excellent and moving. I was riveted to my seat.

Time for bed. I snuck in a delicates load today, which made me really happy. Had my bloodwork done. My blood pressure is now really, really low. So I'm about to take it. Dr wants me to take it every day for a week so we can determine if we've fixed it too much. He kept asking me if I'm dizzy. Yes but I come by it naturally, I'm afraid.

Goodnight my friends. SubC yes you needed both pairs of pants!!

Yay for the roofer and his lovely partner!!!

I agree that Cory and others have helped immensely with destigmatizing hoarding. As we know from being here, bringing people together gives us a chance to move forward. I have needed the support here to get me to where I am happy and unashamed. It has been an absolute blessing for me. In the beginning I would watch hoarders while trying to make decisions. My house never looked like any of those instances but I still couldn't have anyone in. Now I don't think twice about it.


Tonight I'm having some chicken pies from my cleaning fairy. She made me 40. So I pulled a few from the freezer and so tasty!

I am getting through my papers. I'm packing up the treasures to put away for a different day.

I'm trying to decide what kind of candy to take to the movies. Yes I bring my own candy. I generally like jr mints although a Hershey bar sounds so pure.

Good Afternoon Everyone

YEA! Subclinical!!!
So happy you got your mojo back! :D

Thing about the thrift shop is if you find it you must decide right then & there to get it or not because it won't be there later.
Black dress pants are always good to have and so happy they are your size. :)

Hi Tatoulia
Good luck & stay safe with selling the chair.
WTG! for using the lamp and cleaning the kitchen and shredding and the other stuff too.

The big dead tree stump out front is always growing large impressive colonies of mushrooms at the roots.
The mushrooms feed off the rotting wood and help it decay faster so I can eventually dig out that stump.

Work started on the roof this morning.
Scooter was so terrified, running around and then hiding then running around some more, hiding, etc...
Twinkles was cool & relaxed.

Mostly just clearing away stuff/parts off the roof to get it ready to put up the new bits.
The guy brought his Significant Other to help and we got to talking.
I was showing her the little paths to get through Steven's hoard.
She admitted she is the hoarder in their home and he would like the stuff gone & out of the way there.
She said it's all useful stuff and maybe somebody will need it some day even though they don't need any of that stuff.
LOL ;D
Hoarding, cluttering is so common and I am very glad that now days people are more open about talking about it.
No shame, no worry about being judged.

Great job, SubC! Believe it or not, this city mouse thought, I wonder if she's drilling holes for mushrooms!

Great to hear you sounding more like yourself! My dr called to see if I could come in early so I did. And I'm just getting home now. Will not waste the time, I will start shredding papers now. I left my house at 1:30 and just am home now!

We are expecting snow tomorrow but I don't believe it. Maybe I should.

So let me work on things here and I'll report back. BF and I are going to movies tonight.

Hi tatoulia,

Good luck with your chair.

I went to my dr. Apt, dropped off some stuff at st. Vincent's (stuff I already claimed but just hadn't taken), and bought myself two pairs of black dress pants. I couldn't decide - the linen ones are light weight and the cotton are mid weight, and I have long legs and they both fit, so I got both.

Then I picked up some more nails for class, cleaned the chick brooder, and spent two hours drilling holes in logs so my classes can plant mushrooms on Friday.

Now I need to do lesson plans for tomorrow, and I still have so many pots to glaze.

But I want to do stuff again! So that is very good.

Ok good morning! I need to shred papers to show progress! Yes it's afternoon but I slept late. My lamp is so helpful.

Will make breakfast then get to work.

Yesterday was mild and delightful. I hope today is relatively mild as I plan to walk to and from dr. Oh! I listed my chair on Craigslist. I'll give it two weeks then I take to goodwill. I'm good with however this turns out. I priced it to sell.

Wow!!!! Yay new baby!!!! I'm excited!! So thrilled for you!!! I'll take Tuesdays!!!

Tillie I did wipe the counters! I cleaned out purse and I shredded papers. I went for a walk and I visited BF. All laundry folded and put away

There was a woman in the store talking too much then I couldnt find my card to pay for groceries. Still haven't found it. I'll check BF's car before requesting a new one.

Dr is at 345 tmr so lots of time to read then shred papers.

Goodnight everyone.

And then, in an instant, your whole outlook on life can change.

My daughter is going to have a baby! In July (or probably August because in our family babies don't get born in July and June would be too early - both my girls were due mid-July, but they arrived in June and August)

She and sil came out this afternoon and told us (and left us with half a chocolate cake, enough chili for three more dinners, and a trashed kitchen.)

I get Mondays. She says just Mondays, but sil said he might want two days off, so we'll talk in January when I have to turn in class proposals.

Sil is planning to quit his teaching job to stay home and do art and freelance photography part time. So I get Mondays.

Hi Tatoulia
YEA! for using the lamp daily!!!
Keep up the great job keeping S.A.D. away. ;)

Sorry you got frazzled.
We need to have the right frame of mind to deal with entering a store to shop.
Plus there can't be any unexpected goings-ons there.
Too disorientating and frazzling.

WTG! cleaning the kitchen and I know you will wipe counters soon as you gather yourself.

See you later. :)

Hi Ladies. Sorry for all the sadness. It takes so much work to feel things and to do things. I'm so sorry.

I am using my lamp each morning so I've held my seasonal depression at bay. The regular depression is always a battle but I'm doing okay these days.

Tillie I'm excited for the roofers. I bet those enchiladas are tasty! I took mom out today and I got a bit frazzled in the grocery store. I came home and made a tuna sandwich. I snuck in a quick load of towels this AM and I'm doing two small loads right now. One in dryer and one in washer.

I do need to run more errands and I told BF I'd stop by to see him. We had a fun time with our friends at dinner last night.

I just cleaned my kitchen but did I? I need to wipe down the counters. I am exhausted right now. I got really frazzled in the grocery store. Still haven't completely recovered.

I need to shred some papers. I'll be back.

Hi Subclinical
I know that feeling very well.
When I had to put my girl kitty down my boy kitty gave up on life.
When I had to put him down a few months later I have just been waiting for the day my body would die because inside I am already dead and nothing in this life matters to me any more.

We must keep on keeping on.
Maybe some day our inner selves will come alive again.
Till then we must fake it.
((((((HUG))))))

The roofers are coming tomorrow!

Yay!

I am still having trouble with motivation.

I found a book at the library which I have been reading. It describes what I am experiencing as "a crisis of hope" basically my emotional brain is failing to get interested in the things my intellectual brain keeps telling it I need to do and so I am having trouble investing them with value or meaning and so I cannot motivate myself to do them. Apparently you can only coast on routine and structure for so long in the face of nihilism.

My emotional brain says "eat carbs because that will actually make you feel better and watch videos because that will distract you from thinking about all the things that you cannot fix. And ignore the things you have control over because they don't actually matter and aren't you happier eating carbs and watching videos?"

But I am still cleaning up a little because that avoids the pain of knowing dh is disappointed in me.

I think about not being ready for class and just throwing out some random research or discussion topic and that the worst thing that can happen is I get fired, and I can't feel anything about getting fired. My thinking brain tells me that would be bad, but my emotional brain says "eh, then you can just stay home and watch videos and eat carbs." Same thing with not getting stuff ready for my show - so I don't show up, who really cares?

Good Morning "Clink!"

Kitchen is clean, enchiladas delicious.

Have done everything I needed to do to prepare for the roofers tomorrow.
Steven has not done what he needs to do.
He needs to move some of his stuff out of the way.
Needs to take down a very tall tv antenna he has attached to the side of the roof.
Should have removed that years ago, doesn't work, was only for the tv in his room that he never watches. It is useless and tends to pull boards off the roof every time it falls.
When it falls it destroys my clothesline.
But he kept it to attach a tiny weather station to and that has been broken for years, pieces falling off onto the grass where he shreds them with the lawn mower.

Anyways, taking it easy today.
Have enchiladas to eat.
Will putter about.
Very excited about tomorrow and fingers crossed it all goes according to my plans. :D

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Fingers crossed your computer issues will be over with soon and relatively cheaply too.
WTG! for adoring the kittens and not bringing any home.

Hi Subclinical
YEA! for getting sleep!
Good luck at the doctor's Monday.
My big orange tabby boy lost his beautiful meow when he caught a cold, never came back. :(


Made a large dish of beef enchiladas this morning.
Now the kitchen really needs to be cleaned.
Just resting before I get on that.

Well, computer is in the hospital. It could be the motherboard. But the hard drive is okay, the guy thinks. I'd rather have it be that than the other way around.

I am at peace... que será, será.

If I get a different computer, my roommate will help with a loan. And this local place has a good reputation and warranted refurbished computers for sale at reasonable prices.

Now I will head to the library because what I'd needed to do last night was compile the bunny club quarterly newsletter.

While we were out taking the computer, we stopped at the pet store too and I got crickets for my frog, roommate got stuff for the cats, and we admired the adoptable kitties. But didn't bring any home, as the two here are quite the handful. Sometimes I think overall their aggression has dialed down, then they have a snarling boxing match.

One thing about the computer: I've been limping along with its slowed performance for quite some time, and it is likely that there'll be an outcome here that either gets me a faster, less laggy laptop fairly soon. It might not be the dream machine I'd buy if I won the lottery, but it will be serviceable, and being able to get through my home computer work could even have a positive impact on my organizing and decluttering.

Oh CM,

I know that sick feeling!

I am hoping it is just the plug. It's so very hard when time and money are limited do that everything becomes an emergency.

I will tell you to take you supplements in the morning when I take my vitamins. So do that!

I slept almost ten hours last night. I feel a little better. Dh says I look a lot better.

Tatoulia, I too have a dr. Apt on Monday.

Tillie, mr. kitty lost his meow. We think it was in a fight.

OH NO! CriticalMass :(

Is the computer powering up?
Do the little indicator lights by the keyboard or sides light up?
If no then the computer has no power.
That could be a faulty charger plug with a battery that needs recharging.
That is easily fixable.

On the other hand it could be a dead mother board or a good mother board and a dead screen.

Good luck (((HUG)))

Good Evening Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Here comes Vitamin/supplement/herbal remedy BADGER!!!
Throw everything at your ailment you have at hand. :D
Happy Birthday to your friend. What a milestone.


Hi Tatoulia
Yesterday I brought Scooter home a new BOX!!!
Most cats really enjoy a cardboard box to play with.
Jack purrs all the time, so loud you can hear him from far away. Sometimes he hisses but he NEVER meows. The hissing is just a vocalization to me, not aggression.
Cow Girl moves her mouth as if she is meowing but she makes no sound.

Very good decision about the place holders. They were just repeats of your original ones that you still have.

Good luck with all your weekend plans. :D


Hi Subclinical
It is sad that tragedies are too often the only times we see some people.

Sounds like classes and school went smoothly enough even without the paper plates.
Nice you have a good relationship with your student aide too. :)

Looking forward to hearing about your girls day out and other December events.


Didn't talk about it because I am afraid of jinxing it but...
Been talking to an old timer who retired but used to do roofs and lots of other home repair work.
His son is still in the business and they are coming by Monday to start work repairing the leaking roof.

The father and I know a lot of the same local people and he and I have a lot in common with our hobbies of working with stone beads and other lapidary projects.
Plus he and his son are interested in some of the vehicles and trailers on the property and would like to barter work for them.
Please cross your fingers that Steven doesn't spoil this opportunity by wanting too much for these vehicles and trailers than they are worth in their derelict condition.

I need some prayers, good thoughts, whatever you can muster regarding my old laptop (I'm typing this on my tablet). It has a black screen and I don't know what to do. I have Googled and YouTubed and tried repeatedly the tricks that are supposed to work for this, taking the battery out, unplugging, pressing this key or that - nothing much.

I pray it is not death of the laptop, that it will not cost me a bunch of money even to find out what is wrong. I pray I will have TIME as well as money to pick a computer ghat works for me (my hatred for Windows 10 is epic so I want to go Linux). And of course that if the problem is with the hard drive or motherboard or other things beyond my expertise, that at least my data can be recovered.

Right at the moment I'm deliberately stepping away from it so as not to get any closer to that dangerous mental frustration state that can lead to a meltdown.

I wish I ever had enough resources to calmly and smoothly take care of problems as they arise, instead of having them pile on top of one another. It feels suffocating and crazy.

I made it through the day.

Saw two former students and two former coworkers today. Why is it always the awful things that bring people home?

I couldn't find the paper plates I needed for the project I wanted to do today, so I did a different project. Also I made a huge mess in the basement. I did find a stack of styrofoam plates that I did not want or need, so I took them to school and added them to the stack I knew was there.

My students did well today. My student aide had some significant life changes recently and we had a really good conversation today. I am proud of her choices and her growth and glad that I can easily help her with things she asks for.

My daughters have planned a girls day out with me in December.

I am going to bed early.

Checking in. Stopped at two grocery stores on the way home, in my pjs, washed my face, and I didn't bring home my computer. I'm proud of myself!!!

CM has hope you get the days you need and a good schedule. SubC how nice to have dinner made for you! Tillie it is freezing cold here!

Tillie I noticed mom's cat doesn't purr. But I think she's happy. She hid from me yesterday. But I coaxed her out with food! I have to get her new toys. She has destroyed and hidden her toys. She loves them a lot.

My decision on the treasures struck me as easy, if you can believe it. I'm good with it. In fact, my thought process seemed rational. These were place-holders-meaning, they were treasures that were duplicates of ones I had in my childhood, then I found the originals. So these can go. They were candleholders my mother purchased before she was married. The originals are at my BF's house. I don't think I need a set here too. And the ones here are broken (were broken when I got them) but still lovely. I had a third set that I gave to my sister long ago. So off they will go.

This weekend is papers and closet. I also have to polish my silver. The trays, etc that are out.

I have dr on Monday. I don't know what time and I didn't receive my usual mail notice. I'll have to call on Monday.

SubC, yes, I will pray for the repose of Jeremy's soul. Happy to do that. And of course for consolation for family, friends, and community. Don't feel like you can't or shouldn't bring these matters here. As Tatoulia pointed out, they are connected to why we are also struggling with this clutter and hoarding business.

Well, my allergies aren't gone. Or whatever this mess is. I shall bombard with certain supplements that have served in the past. And which in my recent increased disorganization I'd been neglecting to take, and that may have made me vulnerable. I need a Take Your Supplements Badger.

I had my flu shot, but my roommate had ironically been ill and waited. She is planning to get one soon. We were the coughing sisters last couple of days. Bleh.

Today I will find out about elderly lady friend sitting times for next week. On the 16th is when she celebrates her birthday (different documents from Mexico and here say different dates) though her granddaughter says July is the actual date. In any case, her age is presumed to be 97. Bless her! Her memory is declining more, but many times she's as sharp as ever.

Well, better hop off and go do a couple things before I head over to their house with my calendar in hand.

Good Morning Ya'll

Hi CriticalMass
Glad your allergy issues are easing up.
Hope this will be the end of it for you.
Did you get your flu shot? You and roommate need to stay well for at least the next 6 months, until Springtime starts blooming again. ;)


Hi Subclinical
Please keep posting about what is happening in your life here.
We all want to help you achieve your goals of having your home in order but we also need to know how you are doing physically, mentally and emotionally to know how best to help you.
Right now we see that you need to throttle back on making big plans.
You need this time to mourn, grieve and heal.
All the while you are working very hard with teaching and taking care of your livestock.
(((((HUG)))))

Many people visit this message board and read but never post.
Some people will post in other threads where they feel most comfortable and any one of us can reply to them, but many never post again.
Thing is, they know this site is here and they are all welcome to read or join in if they need to. ;)


Hi Tatoulia
WTG! keeping the kitchen clean!
Amazingly good feeling when a task has been completed completely, done & over with.
I often have to tell myself "just finish it" when I get distracted by something else to do.
Make sure you keep making all your hard decisions slowly and deliberately.
No regrets. (((HUG)))

Another gorgeous day out there.
Laundry drying on the line and so many fallen leaves to sweep.

Good morning everyone.

SubC what a sad situation. I am so sorry. I think it's perfectly appropriate to work through your grief here as for a lot of people, hoarding and grief go hand-in-hand.

This is a quick drive-by as I have a meeting at work early. I worked on papers yesterday, laundry, and I did a good job of keeping the kitchen very nice, despite cooking lunch.

Okay everyone! I'm looking forward to the long weekend. I must address unfinished business here. I have to pay bills and chip away at papers. It will not do it on its own and I want more space.

I am doing a good job of not doing things halfway. And I'm happy about that.

I have a second box to wrap treasures in. I've also made a decision on some treasures I thought I'd have forever. Short explanation: going in the donation bin

CM, I am glad you are feeling better.

Please pray for Jeremy, he was Catholic.

That is appropriate isn't it? I'm being sincere. I was raised Protestant and we didn't pray for people after they died, but my Catholic friends did?

I'm going to stop dumping all my stuff here. I saw we had another new person in some other thread and I am probably scaring people out of this one.

My fiber arts class is building fixed heddle looms. Then we are going to weave some little rugs from yarn we made out of donated old t-shirts.

I am going to try to get through tomorrow.

Dh made a nice dinner and a fire.

SubC, another tragedy - all I can offer are condolences and you will be in my prayers.

Tillie, I think it's an excellent idea to get out a bit while the weather's nice. You will be glad you did. We have more cold weather coming in early next week. And hopefully you will run into some nice people to talk to.

And Tatoulia, I very much felt inspired reading of your decision to let the chair go. I have pretty much divested my life of furniture except for a bookcase, chest of drawers, and small table from my grandpa's - he made the bookshelf and possibly the table.

I sold, gave away, or left behind things in my parents' house from the time Dad died through the foreclosure. Thereafter, in my moves, I also gave away heavier items because of my hernia issues. I'm all about practical, strong yet lightweight now, like stainless steel shelves on casters, and when I get my own place I will choose bed and seating with those principles in mind.

Alas, I'm quite a ways from getting my own place just yet... In some ways I feel better about where I am. It is best to sit tight and not try to get out before I have a solid grip on finances, etc. And here it is a quiet neighborhood, I enjoy the kitties, the flowers and trees... Sure wish we had been able to have that sun porch done. Wonder if he'll ever be able to do it.

I do feel better than yesterday. I napped a short while late afternoon/early evening. My sinuses were being really annoying later. I propped my foam bed wedge vertically and added pillows. It wasn't the most comfortable on my neck but it did eventually ease the drainage problem.

Emotionally a little better too. Doing small laundry just to keep the pile from blocking the bedroom doorway again. Then I pray and tackle some of one bad area - hope it won't be as difficult as it looks, and it might not be.

Tillie, yes, the Lord helps us who help ourselves, I totally believe that! :) Yet I also had run out of ideas and energy, so that's what I'm praying about - and for a dose of mental clarity. What I have difficulty with are what are known as "executive function" skills in the brain.

I don't know as there are any places I could go to get help for that as a senior on disability; I doubt if Medicare covers it. So I am praying directly to the Creator for some help! Even just peace to calm the anxiety about feeling overloaded and paralyzed would help.

Well, I'm thankful for feeling better with my allergy business, and it's a nice sunny day. I'll try and check back in later and maybe have some progress to share.

Good Morning Everyone

So very, very sorry Subclinical ((((HUG))))
It is always such a tragedy when someone young is taken from us.
A major loss for all of humanity.

Building a loom? You never mentioned that activity here and it sounds like a wonderful project!


Looks like another pretty day here.
Even though it's a terrible thing for Scooter, I plan to get out of here today.
Sometimes I just need to be around pleasant people to get my thinking straightened out.

Yesterday one of my former students - a brilliant, kind, funny, amazing young man,was lost to us.

He was taking a gap year to learn a foreign language in another country. (He was already fluently bilingual) he was hit by a car as he was walking down the street. He died before his parents' plane landed.

His name was Jeremy.

The school director is removing one of my students from my class. She told me right after the administrative assistant passed on the news of the accident. I didn't even try to fight for him.

I told dh last night, I don't want to love them anymore. But I don't know how I could teach them if I didn't.

There are good things. There were good things yesterday. But when I try to think about the excited, happy boy building his loom yesterday, I just remember Jeremy.

My friend's son's lawyer requested a continuance at the hearing (which I guess means he doesn't think his case is strong enough yet) and the jurisdiction decision was delayed until dec.

I don't think I will swim today. I am too tired.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
As a child I was forced against my will to attend church (southern Baptist) with the neighbor's housekeeper and her husband.
One thing I remember about the teachings was a saying
"the lord god helps those who help themselves."
Meaning we are supposed to do whatever we can do even if that's not very much or not very well then maybe something else concerning/worrying us will straighten out and not be as bad as we thought.
Most of all is to remember that we are only human and can only do just so much with the limitations that entails.

You did GREAT taking care of bunnies, voting, getting gas and tending to the dog to make roommate's day a little easier. WTG! :D

Hope the time change and allergy blahs go away soon. (((HUG)))


I cleaned the kitchen!!!
I feel like I just woke up all day long.
Going through life still half asleep and wanting to hit the snooze alarm.
Did some more leaf raking.
Laundry dried fast today out on the line.
Kept forgetting to eat all day but finally remembered and ate about 4pm.
Toying with going into town tomorrow just to get out of here for a while.

My small stuff:

I have been tired the last few days, jet-lagged from the time change and off and on allergies.

And I think I'm also sad and blah about my clutter situation and how helpless it makes me feel. I madd a decision to storm Heaven with prayer about it and try to be open to divine guidance if I discern something.

Not that I'll stop doing small actions and just sit; I doubt that God would say to do that, at least not for very long! ;) I'm so stymied about a number of things. Also sad and frustrated there wasn't more good weather this fall without so many interruptions. But we may still get some.

Had to go to my psych doc this morning. I like her but talking about all this seems redundant and pointless, and embarrassing. Because it's too complicated to sum up the roadblocks I can't change (yet) in 15 minutes. So then I come off as defensive and making excuses. Which I don't want to be.

And it's another chunk out of a day. Oh well. Don't have to do it again for 3 months.

I need to say things I did get done even if they are small. Like yesterday I got one bunny litterbox completely cleaned and all new litter in, and the four water bowls scrubbed, replaced, and refilled. I voted and got gasoline. I let my roommate's dog out so she could vote right after work.

Not big things. But I need all the reinforcement I can give myself.

*********************************
Bigger stuff

SubC, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I hope you have lots of support near you, as well as our support here. It is a trauma in concentric ripples for the community of which you are a part. It's good that you find even small blessings and comforts like the chicks.

When my cousin was murdered by her ex boyfriend (who then turned the gun on himself) right after high school graduation in 1967, I was only 5, but later I was told the basics, and I have the news clipping. Her parents and brother I'm sure had many "If only" moments as they grieved. The young man obviously needed help as well, that may not have been easily accessible then.

It is so hard when young people especially see only in the moment. That things aren't going to get better - they think - and they don't want to wait a long time when in pain, so they seize control in a completely wrong way. It's a temptation for many. There but for the grace of God go I, because I have had my dark times.

We must do all in our power to keep hope alive wherever it can be found. Even if the hope just comes in picking up the pieces. It still matters, still makes a difference.

*****************************

And sometimes we just need to rest. I'm going to do a couple quick tasks, then pray my Rosary and quite possibly nap.

Good Morning Everybody
"Clink!"

Hi Subclinical
WTG! for resisting the urge and chanting your mantra!
Stay strong because you really do not have the time.
((((HUGS))))
Best wishes for keeping up with school and I'm hoping the Christmas break lets you rest and reenergize.

Hi Tatoulia
Keep strong too!
Remember you have a vision as to how you want your home to be.


My plan today is to clean the kitchen, honest, I really plan to do that.
It's not all that bad, not that many dishes.
But the livingroom area, diningroom area and kitchen are just all together one small open space/room and you can always see the kitchen.
Going out now to hang sheets on the clothesline.

I think I'm experiencing a bit of the same thing, SubC. I feel like I'm a mess and I'm not keeping up and my dining room closet is worse than ever. And I'm losing the paper battle. I do know when it's chaotic like this, my "immune system" for gathering treasures is weakened. Good job framing it in a way (time) that kept you moving.

My antique friend has a bit of trouble with communicating. I can never tell if she receives my texts. I just want to know if she has a dealer who will give me a few dollars for the chair. If not, I'll donate.

I'm enjoying my coffee right now and my therapy lamp. Then I'll get ready for work.

Coffee clinks!

I'm losing ground on dishes.

Not getting enough sleep because of dh work demands. - his sleep schedule is disrupted and mine is disrupted along with it.

Still struggling to keep up with school.

Resisted stopping for several curb treasures yesterday. Mostly by chanting in my head "I don't have time, I don't have time, I...."

My place is a real mess too, Tillie. I slept after work. I'll quick do a few things. Then back to bed. Cleaners tomorrow!

Latest news in building is not fixed but expected to be by AM. Okay but I'd love to be here tmr. But I'll be going in.