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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today?
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What are you doing today?
   

CriticalMass
Posted: 22 October 2019 - 07:24 PM
Oh happier day! I found that blog I couldn't remember the name of. I knew it was by a Catholic and that something about it played into my writing of my science fiction novel. So I found this ginormous site that had like 2500+ Catholic bloggers on it. Needle in a haystack, LOL - bit there it was, in the Rs. Rationalcatholic.blogspot.com, blog by a scientist.

Finding it just made me happier and more motivated for the rest of the day. Still, the grumpy mood yesterday over losing the tabs, the accompanying frustration again with my living situation, and the fact that my allergy symptoms have relapsed somewhat (thanks, Kansas wind) - all that plus winter coming on make me realize I must get it together to be proactive, else seasonal depression could easily blindside me.

Tatoulia, I bet you will really get good out of that lamp. That's the kind of thing a lot of us need, and you're further north than me. I'm going to refill my vitamin dispenser pronto. Vitamin D, B complex, Omega 3 for mood, C for immunity, and so on.

SubC - mmmm, apple cake. Yum. Glad school is getting into the groove.

Ellie, I second Tillie's suggestion when posting to open this thread in two browser tabs if you can, using one to read and the other to reply. I also do a "Select All" and Copy right before posting. Sometimes more than once if typing a long post in stages.

I kind of get what you're saying about the lost tabs, Tatoulia. I know I'm an information hoarder; it goes with being a nerd. I really had been working on deleting some of them just recently and planned to do more. And this has happened before and I've survived. Some were just junk like looking up an item on Amazon, or the weather or social media.

Happy 90th to your Mom! Hope all goes very smoothly with the party.

Helped roommate with greenhouse renovation tonight, since my grumpy mood was gone. The greenhouse and I have had "words" in the past. And I fear she isn't going to beat the weather. But maybe she will.

I'm trying to understand that for her, being able to keep a few plants alive over the winter is like cleaning a grimy thrift store Barbie and making her pretty again is for me, or having a great plot point for my writing spring to mind. Etc. And not think about that book I've seen, The $64 Tomato. I must keep my judgment and opinions to myself. Because Badger says so.

I'll make a 2nd post about my dr appt Thurs, the bunny club event on the weekend, etc. That got skipped over. But this post is long enough for now.
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Tillie
Posted: 22 October 2019 - 11:57 AM
Good Morning Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
Mom's cat is such a sweetheart, so happy she has her.

Thanks for the info on the pond/fountain.
We have a small waterfall fountain in town, no pool at the base and it freezes if they don't stop it.

Good luck with all your plans for today!

I wear jewelry, only at home, never when I go out.
Heartbreaking to lose it.
This Summer I lost a hair pin that was my Great Grandmother's somewhere in the yard and I keep looking for it out there.
Pack rat probably found it and stashed it in it's house. ;p

How exciting! A 90th birthday party!
((((HUGS)))) Tatoulia's Mom :)
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Tatoulia
Posted: 22 October 2019 - 06:59 AM
Tillie they drain the pool in the winter. The fountain is flat with a drain. So in the summer the kids can play in it-I have a really cute picture somewhere and will try to find. Since it's flat (no water in a basin at the bottom), they don't have to do much to winterize it. I haven't seen it running, in fact, during any of my walks lately, even before 9PM. The reflecting pool is a strict no entering policy, and the sign says "even when empty".

I bet kitty is glad you fixed up the cat post! I ran to mom's last night after doing errands with BF and after initially hiding, her little cat came out. She's being a very good girl and using the cardboard scratcher.

Ok Ive got a big day in front of me. I need to remember to breathe. I'm teaching during my lunch hour and I have a meeting at 10AM. Oh and I didn't get ready for my class so naturally I'm grateful that I did the slides all at once. Except that tiny bit at the end. Maybe I can do tonight.

Mom's Party is shaping up. I'm pretty excited.

Cm I'm glad you could sync the computer and retrieve some of your things.

Tillie I realized last night, most people don't know that I lose things. It's so silly and it should bother me, I guess, but generally I find them again and I only allow myself a short period of time to look before giving up. It made me think about what would actually break my heart and it's acting given to me by a friend and some jewelry from my BF.
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Tillie
Posted: 22 October 2019 - 12:34 AM
Ellie you MUST stop yourself from working until you are frazzled, exhausted and having flair ups!!!

That is called BURN OUT.
After a burn out it's impossible to get motivated to do even simple things ever again.
You remember the pain and shear exhaustion and avoid even starting on anything.
ALWAYS stop before you have passed your physical and/or mental limits.
Here, we are very concerned with a person's health and enforce a strict "Self Care" policy.
(((HUG)))

Good Evening Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Happy dancing you found some of your files!
Yes, Badger is programed to attack any of us who is being hard, mean or critical of ourselves.

Hi Tatoulia
Keep forgetting to ask, does that reflecting pool freeze over, what about the fountain?


Lets see... I hot glued the sisal back onto Scooters cat perch scratchy post.
Took a shower, washed my hair.
Washed laundry & will hang it out about sunup.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 09:51 PM
Yay Ellie! You did ALOT today. Great work! I love doing laundry. It's so satisfying. I had to learn to fold it and put it always, and I've been doing that for a number of years now. Again, it comes from having a place to hang and put my clothes. Tillie and others here helped me to develop good habits.

I'm so excited you went to college here! I live smack dab in the city, and I walk absolutely everywhere. I work near South Station so it's a lovely, invigorating walk each day.

The black cat is my cat and the only one who lives with me. The tiny striped cat is mom's cat-she died a few months ago. The lovely little pastel colored cat is mom's new cat. And the very old tiger cat is my BF's cat. BF's cat lives at BF's office.

I am so excited by what you've accomplished and I'm so excited you know my city. You have no idea how happy I am right now.

The one thing that I've always done, even in my worst filth and clutter, is I've made my bed every day. And I have changed my sheets at least once a week. That is something I've always managed, thank God. I generally recommend that people start with a made bed. It just feels so good.

Cm we will get through this together.
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CriticalMass
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 09:43 PM
Hi Ellie, and welcome. Sorry I'm in putting out fires mode but it's always a treat when a new person joins. Looking forward to getting acquainted.

I synced my tablet to my laptop and in a convoluted process I can't remember (so yay, y'all are spared a boring description of it heh heh), I got SOME of the history back. But not the bookmarks and there are gaps. I can hope maybe what I did find will jog further memories.

Tillie, I wasn't being critical of myself, really - Badger is trained to smack us when we do that, right? LOL. We need to introduce Ellie to Badger. Ellie, he is on my Instagram, @BunnyPlanetQueen. He is tasked with "badgering" us if we are ready to declutter yet simply dragging our heels, and he likes Sno-Cones and cucumber sandwiches.
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Ellie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 08:50 PM
I am downright giggly that I found a nice community to communicate with about these things!

One down side... it's now 7:30pm mountain time... I've been going nonstop for 7 hours now. Sometimes when I get going on my household projects, getting started is the hard part. The concerning thing is that I go so hard, so long, when I finally get going, because I'm afraid once I stop I won't start again! Does anyone else have that thought process. So I just kept going all day, but now my fibromyalgia is in full swing and everything hurts so darn bad!! And I haven't even stopped yet. Now I'm doing things like cleaning up the cat and dog feeding mats, putting away last week's groceries, etc. Time to just call it a night very soon...

Have a lovely evening, thanks to everyone who chatted today and shared your activities, challenges and thoughts. :-)
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Tillie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 08:00 PM
Hi Ellie
Yes! Aren't Tatoulia's pictures wonderful!!!
So nice they bring back good memories for you too.

WAY TO GO!!!
Tackling that bedroom was a big job but you did it!!!
And you vacuumed floor spaces too.
Getting dishes gathered up and into the kitchen and almost into the dishwasher is fantastic progress.

You did a LOT today.
Pat yourself on the back, well done. :D

We all post things that we need to do here then feel obligated to do our best to do them.
This message board keeps us accountable.
Keeps us all connected to real people who truly understand and care.
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Ellie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 07:00 PM
Oh my goodness Tatoulia, loved your instagram feed!! Your fur-babies are 100% adorable (we have 3 cats and a chocolate lab dog)...

Your home pics are so inspiring! They are basically excellent "goal pictures" for what I hope to get my areas looking like some day.

And bonus... loved the Boston pictures!!!!!! I had to do a double-take before I saw your caption, I was like "hey, that's Christian Science Center reflecting pool". I spent so, so, so many hours there during my college years, my college bf and I would go stroll around there all the time. Such a relaxing place to unwind in the late evenings...

Fenway, Prudential Tower, oh all the memories of my youth. :-) Thank you for sharing!
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Ellie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 05:41 PM
Hello everyone,

Wow, I've been so isolated for so long, I forgot how lovely it is to have fellow human beings out in the world who I told my intentions to at the beginning of a day. LOL!!

First, let me say that reading about your days (all of you), I want to thank you for sharing... hearing about the beauty of the apricot tree, the ordinary-ness of all those tasks that take up time in all of our days - such as Critical Mass dealing with technical snafus, someone else winterizing the windows, etc. - it's good to know I'm not the only one who gets sidelined and occupied with all those types of tasks! Where does all the time go?

Second, although I started my day with a too-long list, I found it pretty motivating that I did put it out there to you all, knowing I'd come back in the evening to share the outcome!! So I sat in my bed from 6:30am-12:30pm, and was feeling pretty frustrated that it looked like another day was just going to pass me by. But then I thought about my intention to update here about what I got done, so I figured I'd better get my a$$ in gear so I'd have at least something checked off the list.

So here's the late afternoon update:

* dishes - not done yet, but I've gathered them from all over the house into the kitchen, so I anticipate I might actually load them into the dishwasher in a little while.

* my bathroom - nope, not even on the radar yet. probably not a task for today

* vacuuming the public spaces - DONE

* my son's room. Whooo-wee buddy, that's the one I prioritized for the day. I am so worried about him... So I got his room lovely and DONE. All clean, generally organized, and I left much of his personal items in an easy to find, accessible manner. I hope he likes it and doesn't hate me for it, I'll know in a few hours when he gets home. I've got about 8-10 loads of his laundry all out in my kitchen, hopefully I'll at least get his bedding washed and back on his bed before he gets home, but it will take me all night and tomorrow to get the rest of it done.

Gotta run but I'll come back soon. thanks to you all for being here!
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Tillie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 05:31 PM
I have a severe case of CRS (Can't Remember "Stuff")
Also known as old timer's disease.

Only way I can address you all individually is by opening up another window and switching back & forth between my post and this page.

I'm on a laptop computer, right click on reply and now I have both pages.

I know phones don't have all the same features as a laptop/desk top.


Tatoulia! You always lose everything???
That would be sad if it wasn't so funny. ;D
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Tatoulia
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 04:31 PM
Oh I bet the apricot tree looks beautiful, Tillie! Great job on getting the weather proofing up!

I ended up keeping my ivy. It's starting to turn and it looks so pretty. The rest I pulled up.


I think having my sister stay over will be a much smaller sacrifice than last year when I had mom's friend here for many nights. Six, I think it was.

Ellie, I used to have trouble keeping up with my dishes, despite having a dishwasher. It was largely attributable to having too many dishes and no where to put the clean ones. Now when I do my dishes, I think, look how nice it is that everything fits. Not only dirs every thing fit, but I've got room to spare.

If you are on Instagram I can be found at Susie.7010. I post pictures of my apartment and random cats. I hope you'll check in to see how far I've come and no I don't have before pictures!!!

Ellie you'll learn our names. And we forgive if you fail to remember what we've written. I'm the chief reason why we need to be forgiving! I only remember so much.

Cm just forge ahead. Sometimes when I screw up I like to decide that I'm -free instead of -less. Especially when I lose or break something. I'm wallet-free, not wallet-less. It takes the sting out of it for me. You didn't lose your open tabs, you are free of them. Try it. You probably aren't aware of how often I lose stuff. And so a long time ago, I decided how light my pockets feel now that I'm free of my keys, etc. I once was trying to get out of a parking garage and I'd lost my credit card on my way from the office to the garage, and I was trying to tell the guy that I'll pay twice tomorrow and he said, oh yeah? I think if you'd actually lost your credit card you'd be upset. And I said, call my secretary, she'll tell you that I lose my stuff so often that it doesn't even register. Funny, though, when I did call my secretary to ask her for a credit card, on her way to the garage she actually found my card.

It is garbage night for me. I'm always pretty excited.

Mom's Party is shaping up. I'll post photos of the things I am planning. I'm going to bring over one of my nice tablecloths. It dry cleans nicely.

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Tillie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 03:16 PM
Good Afternoon Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Please quit being so critical of yourself.
S%&T like that happens to all of us.
We have so many things running around in our brains that we click on the wrong button or drop beloved glass dishes.
So very sorry you lost everything (((HUG)))
Wish there was some way I could give you a time out, time to rest, relax and reset.

Hi Ellie
Yes! your To-Do list is too long.
Priorities...
What one thing on that list is the top priority?
Then break down that priority into smaller more doable steps.

A good rule to make for the Son's room would be that ALL garbage & food must be gathered up and removed EVERY week.
That dirty clothes must be gathered up and put in the hamper EVERY week.
The food garbage could cause an infestation of bugs and rodents and we don't want that.
I have tried to get Steven to follow this simple rule but his room is disgusting and stinks to high heaven with all the garbage and dirty clothes.
Makes the whole house stink and he gets mice and bugs in there.

Good luck ;)


Hi Tatoulia
Yes, yesterday was good and I would have loved joining you all for lunch. ;D
Good luck spending time with your sister.
Just do not bring up any controversial subjects.
Only small talk about extremely trivial things.
If she brings up something off limits distract her by changing the subject completely around.
Goodbye Summer window plants, thank you.


Covered the dining area window in plastic this morning and the temps inside immediately went up 5 degrees. 63 to 68
Covered the window to my room. Being on the north side of the house in Winter it can develop a sheet of ice inside if not covered.
Next week the night time temps will get down into the teens.
Thinking maybe tomorrow I will detach the hose and insulate the outside faucet.
The Apricot tree is absolutely gorgeous.
All decked out on red, gold, apricot, tangerine leaves.
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CriticalMass
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 12:25 PM
A lot has been happening, I'm trying to get my bearings.

My roommate felt well enough to go to work today. I was going to try and declutter some in my bedroom. Then I got on my tablet and was trying to free up space, because it was so full it wouldn't even display photos.

So I reset my Google Chrome app to the factory version - and in so doing, lost my bazillion open tabs AND my bookmarks. For some reason I guess I assumed they wouldn't be affected, just the software. Probably dumb of me in retrospect, but software keeps changing and I can't keep track as well as I used to what affects what.

So now I'm dealing with that. I used to be able to keep up by making a monthly list of Links but it's been about a year since I've had things together enough even to do that. I've been doing a lot of research lately, too, and often it's from a link on a page that I go to another page, so only the history and bookmarks would be a record of where I went.

I am just so tired of my life being one stupid foul-up after another as I'm ironically trying to use the talents I do have (such as the writing for which I was researching) to make a better life.
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Ellie
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 10:00 AM
Hi Tillie and Tatoulia and everyone else,

First, let me apologize that some of my replies might miss (or misspell names) from the posts I'm replying to... at least on my browser, the post-message screen makes all the other posts go away and I have a terrible memory. I wish when I'm posting something, I can see the other people's posts at the same time!! :-)

That said, thank you for the warm welcomes this weekend.

Today is my third day off in a row when I could get out of bed, clean, purge, organize, etc. Saturday and Sunday I did absolutely nothing, except watch hoarding shows and think about what I'd *like* to work on. Today I am hoping to get out of bed and do something.

So in the spirit of naming something I will do today:
* my dishes definitely need doing
* my living/dining/kitchen area need a good vacuuming (got to love how fast 4 pets accumulate floor-fur!!)
* how nice it would be to work on my bathroom today

And lastly... and this one makes me really sad... this past week or two, it is becoming more and more clear to me that my oldest son (age 17) inherited some of my issues, and may have some ones of his own as well. I have come to recognize that his bedroom has long since surpassed "messy teenager room" and I think is early-stage hoarding. So I talked with him last night about the fact that I plan to add, to my to-do list, getting some order back in his room. At least it would get it back to a baseline reasonable situation again, and then I can work with him on skills to maintain it. I don't want to freak him out though, I know I wouldn't love an uninvited clean-out! That said, his own situation is such that there is zero percent chance that he'd be willing to clean it up in partnership with me, and also less than 5% chance that he would be open or interested in taking some skills conversations and try to implement them himself. So either I do it, or it doesn't happen, which is what I've done for about 1-2 years, and its just getting worse and worse every few months. Less clutter, more layers of actual garbage, food, etc., that is very unclean. :-(

So today's goals: first three bullets, and maybe also try to get into his bedroom while he's at school today.

And of course, I already recognize this is how I get myself in trouble, because that's a long list... would probably occupy me for a week, and I will be so overwhelmed by it that I will spend day 3 also paralyzed by overwhelm, and stay in bed... I know I need to start small, but that's difficult to do in and of itself! LOL... gotta love this journey!!

Tatoulia, I really appreciated you sharing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for the inspiration!!
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Tatoulia
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 09:40 AM
Tillie! I hope you enjoyed your day off!! I thought if you yesterday while we were dining at the Wayside Inn and so wishing you could be with us.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 21 October 2019 - 09:39 AM
Good morning everybody! Good to hear from you, SubC!!! Hope the stove is ready to do its job. WELCOME Ellie!!!! So glad to have you here. You'll get suggestions and support and zero judgment. And you can and will do it! I came here probably six years ago and now I live in s clean and clear house, if you can believe it. Not easy. Paperwork my goodness I am buried in paperwork!!!

You are not alone, Ellie. I feel very close to my friends here. I like to reread old posts to get inspiration.

So, yesterday I took mom and a friend for lunch at the Wayside Inn. It was a lovely time. Lunch in honor of mom's upcoming 90th Birthday! Lovely time.

So my sister says she's coming to see mom on Friday (mom's actual birthday) and so I invited her to sleep over on my foldout Friday night. I'm throwing a birthday party for mom (just cake and ice cream) at mom's assisted living (all invited, staff, fellow inmates, some of my friends from work, my BF, etc) So although we don't get along surely one night won't kill us. I've also asked my cleaners to come this week, even though they were just here last week. I'd like thx place to be wiped down and clean before sister gets here. And of course I won't mention having cleaners. Listening to that will be mite than I can bear.

Okay tonight's goal is to dispose of summer plants in my window boxes.
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Tillie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 08:32 PM
Good Evening Everyone

6:30pm and it's very dark outside.
Tomorrow I will cover the last two windows that need it in plastic.
Even if the afternoons are comfortably warm the house gets cold over night, too cold in the in the morning in here.
The plastic keeps in more of that daytime warmth.

Had a good relaxed day today.
Taking a day off every now & then helps keep me from becoming a drudge.
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Tillie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 05:07 PM
Good Afternoon Everybody

Hi Subclinical :D
Have a good time tonight.
GREAT getting the wood stove back and wonderful that extra Son looks like he's doing well.
Very relieved that you are doing better and your busy schedule is smoothing out a little. (((HUG)))
Sounds like your inner squirrel has some yummy things stored away in the pantry.


Hi Ellie
Perfectionism causes a lot of chaos and clutter.
Can't do it perfectly then why do it at all thinking.

OK...
Getting decluttered and organized goes in stages.
Imagine peeling an onion one layer at a time until you get to the tiny heart.
First go through only gets things started.
Every following layer gets you closer and closer to your final goal.

You tackle a small area, make keep/toss/donate or put in a better location in the house.
Move onto another area and do the same.
When you get back to the first areas again you do more decluttering and cleaning.
It's impossible to do it ALL perfectly first go around.
But every time it gets so much better than it was before.

"Good Enough" truly is good enough.
Be kind to yourself, you are only one person and trying to do your best.
Whenever negative voices start criticizing you in your thoughts fight back at them by saying out loud positive things.
For now, "Good Enough" is GOOD ENOUGH!

About sentimental stuff...
if it gives you a bad sad or negative feeling seeing it
then best to let it go.
No need to keep painful things around.

Paperwork is an other whole can of worms.
Lets leave that till later.
First lets work on making the living space a little nicer for now.

For starters let go of any medications or toiletries that have expired.
If a toiletry is something that you are loathe to use, let it go.
Please don't keep nasty things around for
"Justin Case".
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Ellie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 01:08 PM
Hi Subclinical,

Thank you for the positive encouragement! :-)

I'm glad that it sounds like you are in the midst of a bit of an upswing.

I relate to your "got rid of this, but accumulated that". It sure seems like all aspects of life offer opportunities to accumulate. I'm always trying to get rid of (this file, that receipt, this expired can of soup, that sample shampoo)... and every time I turn around there's more stuff that creeps right back into my life.

Good to virtually meet you!
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Ellie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 01:02 PM
Thank you for the warm welcome Tillie!

Yes, I definitely have perfectionism as a contributing characteristic... if I can't do the whole task perfectly and completely, it is darn near impossible for me to consider doing "step 1" of it. I recognize this but have not yet found the magic recipe toward combatting it's paralyzing effect!! Grrrrr....

Over the years of self-treating this disorder, I've figured out lots of facts and info, but haven't yet figured out how to actually successfully conquer it. LOL

So here are some of my top struggles. Any words of wisdom on how to tackle any one (or more) of these are always, always welcome.

#1 - PAPERWORK! This is by far my most difficult, pervasive, and voluminous issue. I have a son with serious medical issues, and I have some of my own. I also am on the back-side of getting out of a marriage with domestic violence. I'm also self-employed. So medical, legal/evidentiary, and financial paperwork just bury me, and it feels so very unsafe and scary to think of not having documents that I might need in these categories. I bought a very good, fast scanner a few years back, with the intention to convert all my paperwork to electronic format, but it would take me 100 years to get it all scanned in. Plus, I started, but couldn't find my "perfect" electronic filing system to ensure I could find all my scanned files once done. So it just sits... in boxes, bins, piles, and about 10 filing cabinets throughout my small apartment.

#2 - memorabilia. I have memory issues (mostly trauma/PTSD related) and getting rid of things that remind me of my life events feels very much like I will permanently lose access to all the memories the items represent.

#3 - medication, bathroom supplies/toiletries, clothing, food, etc. The old "what if I need it?" Single mom, self-employed, with both personal and child medical situations mean finances are always an issue so it's not like I can afford to replace anything that I do eventually need.

Of course, there's more to the list. Those are my top 3 challenges though. What if I need it and can't afford to replace it... I need it to help remember my life events... and if I am going to organize it, it needs to be completely and perfectly organized or it's not worth doing. My guess (from watching the shows) is that these are familiar to many who end up here! :-)
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Subclinical
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 12:50 PM
Hi all

Feeding my inner squirrel this weekend.

One applecake to eat, one in the freezer, three pints of ice cream, about to go pick green tomatoes to make pickles. Dh birthday today so going out tonight.

Doing laundry, cleaning up.

Also reinstalling the wood stove so we can have heat. My extra son came over to help with that - heavy! He looks good. His life has been topsy turvy and is settling down.

Accumulated a souvenir pin since my last visit. Ditched a worn out garter belt.

School is smoothing out a little. I'm a little better too. More sleeping, less crying.

I have another sale Saturday. Busy week, but hope to come back soon.

Hi Ellie! Yes, you can do it!
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Tillie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 12:38 PM
Welcome Ellie :)

Here we post about our struggles, triumphs and goals.
We give each other support and suggestions.

It is very supportive to have a place to come to daily.

Suggestion, take it or leave it... ;)
Maybe you are setting the bar too high and it's intimidating to look at the task you are wanting to do?

Chip out a smaller area to clear or clean.
One drawer instead of every drawer.
Even as small as one square foot of an area to clear.
If we look at EVERYTHING needing done it's just too overwhelming and we tend to freeze.
But we can do just one small thing.


Then when you step back and appreciate that one small area it tends to be very motivating to do just one more tiny little thing.

Clearing out, cleaning and maintaining is a lot of little steps every day.


Good luck & best wishes and please stick around. :D
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Ellie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 12:25 PM
Hello all, I just found this site. Been struggling with what I have called my "tendency to hoard" since college years, now in my late 40s and I'm wondering if it's ever a battle I can win.

The ebb and flow of mess is so tiring. I'm sitting here in the middle of 3 days off that I was hoping I'd make into productive days, but that's not happening yet. I just sit here and look at the mess... and sit here... and sit here...

I've been watching reruns of Hoarders today, watched Amazon's Beyond Hoarding. My kids always ask, why do you like watching these shows? I summarize it by "it inspires me to make sure I keep things cleaned up and out". The truth is that I know that I am *always* walking on the edge of letting it get that far (and at certain times I have definitely crossed that edge!), and I'm constantly trying to both inspire myself and keep myself educated on how to address my internal struggles that make my "stuff issues" so hard to deal with on a daily and weekly basis.

I need to use today to get at least something done on my mess, but I can't seem to make it happen. I'm not sure if it's that I don't know where to start, or that I can probably figure that out, but I find it so very aversive to taking that action once I pick the task I decide to start with. Would love to here from anyone...

Is the Sunday night support group helpful?
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Tillie
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 12:05 PM
Good Morning Everyone

Hi CriticalMass

Hi Subclinical
Miss you (((HUG)))

Hi Tatoulia
Wonderful that the workman intrusion resulted in perfect internet!
We have fiber optics and a new box thingie connection on the outside of the house.
We have good reliable & fast internet. When there is a good router inside it's great.

(((HUGS))) for understanding my predicament.

Have a pleasant Sunday out with Mom and Friend. :)

Ovens take too long to warm up before they even begin to warm up the leftover food.
Stove tops are instant heat and with a lid on the pan it warms more evenly.
Microwaves are great for some things but they change the texture or consistency of a lot of foods in a bad way.
Over the years people have just gotten used to the blah sogginess.
I was extremely resistant to ever owning a microwave.
Was well into my 30's before I inherited one and started experimenting with it.
Best feature is that in 2 minutes you can have a cup of properly hot water to brew a cup of tea.

Daily use of the lamp especially when the days are darkest.
Here I try to get outside in the sunshine daily for just a little bit.
Having to walk out across the road to get the mail is enough to help my mood.
Even when I have to wear snow boots.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 20 October 2019 - 11:05 AM
Tillie I thought after I wrote that, of course it's nit just a phone call, since you would've done it by now. With the recent addition of Fios to my house, they gave me all new whosywhatsis and no more spotty internet. And yes, I know that you can't do anything right. Sigh. I remember those days of always being wrong and being told with loud insults and a never-ending lecture that most humiliatingly required me to admit my stupidity. So awful. So sorry.

Jack! Great cat. Wish he belonged to someone I know....

Honestly why didn't I think about hearing on the stove top, I kept picturing it taking forever in the oven (forever equals 30 minutes)

Already late for the lunch I'm taking mom and a friend to today. That sounds about right.

But I did get time in with my therapy lamp.
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Tillie
Posted: 19 October 2019 - 10:27 PM
That sounds like a lovely evening!
Happy you bought tickets before they all sold out.

I think you just didn't want to wash extra dishes, JK ;)
Some things warm up nicer on the stove in a pan with a lid rather than in a microwave.
Left over pizza for example.

Jack is an unaltered tomcat.
Average size for a male cat but a big boy.
Bigger than Scooter, about the same size as Twinkles but Twinkles looks bigger because he has long hair.
Boy cats tend to be larger than girl cats.
Petting Jack feels like luxurious black mink or ermine.

The phone/internet company here is a small thing only local for this county.
They installed the wires to the house but have absolutely nothing to do with whatever is inside the house.
Steven bought the router at the thrift shop, someone else's garbage.
He could very easily buy a fresh new one but he would rather buy another broken POS at the thrift shop.

If I were to buy and install a new one he would pitch a fit, find fault with everything and generally make my life even more miserable than it already is.
You know what I mean. :p

The chili is delicious.
Everything good chili should be.
Plus it warms me up. :)
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Tatoulia
Posted: 19 October 2019 - 10:06 PM
I bet the chili was tasty, Tillie. I'm eating cold meatloaf and corn and potatoes as I don't feel like heating it up. I don't have a microwave.

We had a fun night at the museum of fine arts tonight. They had a reception for the opening of Art of Sncient Nubia and we had a very good time. They had food and an open bar and the exhibit was lovely. It was a ticketed event and it was sold out. I'd bought our tickets a few weeks back. We walked back and it was lovely.

Tillie I always picture Jack as a big black cat. I know you've told us in the past but could you refresh my memory?

Sorry your router/modem isn't working well. Call the internet service provider and ask for a new one. Sometimes that works.
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Tillie
Posted: 19 October 2019 - 09:54 PM
Good Evening Everyone

What a nice way to spend a day!
Laying around in your cat jammies. ;D

The internet thingie would not allow me online ALL afternoon into the evening. >:(

No laptop no Roku.

He keeps saying he will replace the blinky internet thingie but he doesn't.

Washed my clothes and have them drying hanging in my room.
Did some ironing while the clothes were wet.
Ate chili for lunch and dinner.
Watered the garden.
Cloudy & breezy day, very Autumn.
Did a little beading.
Brushed Twinkles and did all the other cat stuff too.
Jack ate a huge breakfast, he was really hungry.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 19 October 2019 - 04:08 PM
I got up today, had coffee, climbed back into bed, binge watched some TV, got up, made something to eat-turkey meatloaf with corn & potatoes-then more coffee now 5:00 PM and need to shower.

I was basically a cat today. Hung around in my pjs!!!!!!
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Tillie
Posted: 19 October 2019 - 11:25 AM
Good Morning

Will water the garden today but other than that I'm taking the day off.
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Tillie
Posted: 18 October 2019 - 07:56 PM
One big dish in the fridge.
Two one gallon baggies in the freezer.
Kitchen is all clean.
Cat dishes washed too.

Tomorrow is supposed to be about 66 degrees
nice enough to play outside.
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Tillie
Posted: 18 October 2019 - 03:53 PM
Thank you Tatoulia (((HUG)))

Have my big pot on the stove full of chili.
Smells so good in the house now.

Still need to clean the kitchen but it's not bad.

Will be nice having some already made chili in the freezer for later and will be eating chili for the next few days too.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 18 October 2019 - 12:10 PM
I'm sorry about the sad anniversary, Tillie. Dear little cat. I'm at office, eating my lunch so I thought I'd check in. Sending you much love.
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Tillie
Posted: 18 October 2019 - 10:37 AM
Good Morning

Great day to stay inside and cook.
Sunny and calm but only a high of 60.

Can't believe it's been a year today already since I had to put my Pooh Kitty to sleep.
I miss her so. :(

Need to straighten out the fridge.
Just been putting stuff in it with no order making it difficult.
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Tillie
Posted: 18 October 2019 - 12:23 AM
About 4:15pm today I sat at the window for about an hour.
Watching a magnificent Band Tailed Hawk catch and eat a Ring Neck Dove.
She was so big and beautiful.
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Tillie
Posted: 17 October 2019 - 04:50 PM
Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Wishing you only good news at the doctor.

WAY TO GO! for setting priorities!
Priority number one is already achieved, kitty could get through and cuddly. ;D

Hi Tatoulia
Cleaning lady is probably a very busy person with lots of demands on her time.
I'm sure she will be there soon as possible.

Have fun freshening up your warmer clothes & such.

Sending Badger to help you tackle those bags of paper in the closet.
He wants a fancy sandwich, or else. ;/


Was fun being blown around with all the leaves and birds in town today.
Large flock of Cow birds almost blew right into me.
The store had fully stocked shelves today.
Bought all the ingredients to make my chili.
Will make a huge pot and freeze a bunch for easy meals.
Stopped by the thrift shop and bought 3 strands of pretty beads.
Rose quartz, peridot, amethyst, quartz crystal.
Met up with a friend and saw her new baby boy, number FIVE, no girls. ;D
Got my shopping all put away except for the chili makins.
Tomorrow I will make the chili and some corn bread.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 17 October 2019 - 03:40 PM
I haven't heard from my cleaner. I hope she stops by for the clothes.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 17 October 2019 - 01:48 PM
Good luck with your appointment, CM. I'm glad you are moved back in and that kitty cat found you! Keep remembering your progress as that will give you strength.

Tillie I'll be curious to see how the light box plays out for me. I have a sneaking suspicion it will help me. I'm not in the "can't hurt" category because I truly think this has the potential to help me out.

Thank you for the tip on treating blood stains. Greatly appreciated. I still believe I'll get that tiny stain out. I know if I could hang it on your line, Tillie, that we'd get it out sooner rather than later!

I'm washing up my winter casual jacket and my down vests. They were laundered before I put them away but I do like my laundry nice and fresh. I'm also laundering my winter slippers.

Having the cleaners has been life changing, Tillie. I was living in filth. My laundry was always done and I always had clean sheets, but that's where it started and stopped. Plus I used to have to do my laundry over and over again because it would get mixed with dirty laundry or fall to floor and my floors were filthy. What a giant difference to have a clean house. You taught me early on to fold and put my laundry away. And I've kept up with it.

I have multiple bags of papers squirreled away in my dining room closet. Will tackle one today and by tackle I mean shred. Because we all know there's nothing useful in there.
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CriticalMass
Posted: 17 October 2019 - 12:18 PM
Quick driveby before getting ready for dr appt

Got myself moved back into bedroom. Exhausting, and there are narrow paths. But as Tatoulia asked, I do think there is some progress in knowing the location of more items. That should speed up sortin, paper purging, and the like.

It's like I still have the mental template of what I started to do earlier in the summer. It's not complete, and adjustments needed to be made in yesterday's urgency. (Roommate still home, thinks it's bronchitis.)

But I have some priorities, some Sort This Box's Contents First, This One Second, etc. Either based on immediacy of said contents to what's happening in real time, or ease of sorting quickly. And other reasons, like "I'm sick of looking at this here pile of stuff!"

On a happier note, kitty buddy knew where to find me and I enjoyed his snuggles in the night.
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Tillie
Posted: 17 October 2019 - 11:04 AM
Good Morning Everyone

What a lovely post Tatoulia :)

You sure have changed in many wonderful ways.
Your priorities are making your life and home so much easier, joyful and healthier.
I believe that you have had insightful "self discovery" also along the way that will keep there changes permanent.
Like having cleaning ladies is important for you, keeps you on top of your game.

WAY TO GO! getting all you got done, done!
Wonderful to have a whole new closet to use too.

I have heard of very good results with the lamps for SAD when they are use consistently daily during the Winter.

Next time, before an item is washed
spot clean any blood with cold water.
If the color is fast or light use hydrogen peroxide to get out the blood.
As a surgical assistant I was constantly removing blood from my clothes between patients.
I wore white uniform dresses daily because it made it easier to see and spot clean off the blood. ;p


The wind is blowing and swirling all the Autumn colored leaves around.
Beautiful fall day today.
Good day to go back into town.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 17 October 2019 - 10:46 AM
Almost noon here. I guess it rained and was windy all night. I slept like a baby. I'm working from home. I used my therapy light while I sipped my coffee.

I'm dressed and doing laundry. I found another dress to give to the cleaning lady and I've washed it and hope it dries by the time she comes by tonight. I also decided to give her a set of sheets I bought and never used. I was dazzled by the price, which stings. They are still in the package. I know why I bought them, I had some kooky idea of using the flat sheet over my blanket. Then I never did it. So goodbye, terrible waste of money.

Windy fall day here. I did open the bedroom window so that the dress will dry faster.

I think I have a nice pretty sugar and creamer to pass along. I love sugar and creamers and yet I don't use them. So off they go.

What are you doing today???!!!??
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Tatoulia
Posted: 16 October 2019 - 10:17 PM
Hello everyone!

Cm I can feel your frustration and weariness. Can you ask yourself a question? In terms of this time last year, have you made progress? In what areas? Is it, in your mind, measurable? I think if you can take a quick pulse on your progress, it might help you. And I think you'll see that you are moving forward.

Let's take that progress and help you to make more before year's end. Would we be able to help you get back into your bedroom? I know you are eager to organize your storage before adding to it. Is it possible to make the bedroom more livable in the meantime? Again, I'm not trying to set priorities for you, I'm trying to help you move past the bad feelings and frustrations.

Tillie I love hearing about your cooking! My own little cat is sitting next to me right now. We had our cleaners today and I have an expertly made bed, which I then tested out by napping on it.

I can't decide if I'm going in tomorrow or not. I need to look at my calendar and see if I can get away with working at home.

I got a lot of things done before the cleaners today but still don't have the closets where they need to be. I am being extremely thoughtful with the hall closet. And I'm happy with it. I'm not sure I can fit my air conditioner in it. But I sure would like to.

I did laundry and laundry and laundry and now I have my comforter with duvet cover on the bed. I washed the quilt I kept at the end of the bed and put it away. From taking the duvet off the closet shelf, I have room to put the other quilt away. The thin white quilt is now folded at the end of my bed. That's a year-round staple. Tillie I couldn't remove that tiny spot of blood but I swear it's faded. I did a lot of laundry today and if I stay home tomorrow I will do a quick load of delicate darks. This time of year I've switched from white and ivory tops to navy.

So I bought a light therapy lamp at the suggestion of my dr, to help with my depression. I started using it today. I started with 20 minutes. I am curious to see if this helps me along.

I saw mom only for a second today to drop off her clean dishes. There was an aide in the hallway, so I asked her to unlock mom's door for me. I caught a glimpse of the cat as she ran to hide. So yes, the ladies are hanging out together!

I just texted my cleaning lady regarding the clothes I have for her. She's been sending two other ladies (mother and daughter). I texted Luciana last week to see if I should give them the clothes and she said she'll come get. I did get the impression that the ladies tend to struggle a bit about who gets the dresses. I might be able to find a pair of shoes for them too. I'll look through the shoe boxes.

Ok Luciana comes tmr for the bag. I'll challenge myself to see if there is anything else I can give her. I think I am wearing all the clothes in my closet but a quick look around cannot hurt.

One of my business partners emailed today to see if my address has changed, as they are getting their Christmas gifts ready. I hated to do it but I wrote back that I am grateful for their friendship and support and that is the only gift I need. It was tough to do but worth it.

I only keep about 1/10th if what they give me. Last year included a beautiful grilling set, apron, very nice implements, etc, maybe a cookbook and a chopping board. I kept the chopping board and gave away the rest. One year they gave a very nice suitcase and a lovely suitcase tag and a very nice travel pillow. I gave the suitcase to a homeless guy we know and I kept, and have used, the travel pillow. In fact, I donated my travel pillow and kept theirs. But alas, I'm better off with none of it.

It was easy to write and I was gracious but I still found it hard to press send. This particular business partner also makes a large donation to a cancer charity and I am grateful for that.

So, sight unseen, I've decided to skip it. The things that arrive at the office, I just distribute at the office. Whoever wants, can take. I used to take the food baskets to my mom's and spread around there. But I'm getting to the point where I'd rather not receive at all.

Look how far I've come! I used to grab up those freebies, useful or not. Now I see them all as not useful.

House is very clean. I still have a few dining room closet things to deal with. I don't use that room as a dining room but it's the one with the shelves for mom's china. The one I'm supposed to be cleaning.

Okay I'm going to do an hour's worth of work then go to bed. We are having high winds and rain. I wanted BF to spend the night with us but he's insisting on going home.
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Tillie
Posted: 16 October 2019 - 07:38 PM
Good Evening Everyone

Sun just going down now.
Was a good day.
Scattered clouds but overall sunny and warm.
Both cats came outside with me and Scooter behaved!
Spent a long time updating and fixing my laptop computer.
Cooked hash browns and eggs then cleaned the kitchen.
Tomorrow is predicted to be cooler with more scattered clouds too.
Thinking of going into town tomorrow.
Maybe, just maybe the store will have fully stocked shelves and I will be able to get the things I couldn't last time.
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Tillie
Posted: 16 October 2019 - 11:56 AM
Good Morning Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
What a shame that all your plans get shoved aside by life's events.
(((HUG)))
That's so frustrating.

Your roommate's allergies are terribly and out of control.
Wishing she could find something to help with them.

You need to sleep. Good solid restful sleep makes all the difference in the world to our mental health and clarity.
You said your mattress was lumpy and painful.
Is there any way you could fix or turn it?
Once I fixed a saggy mattress that was killing my back by placing a board under it.
Made the bed properly firm yet still padded.

Please explain the bed/sofa issue to your doctor.
They may then be better able to help you.
(((HUG)))


Going to be another lovely day here weather-wise.
Planning to take litter boxes outside and scrub/scour/sanitize them.
Can't do it easily in the Winter without the hose.
So much easier on my back out in the yard with the hose.
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CriticalMass
Posted: 16 October 2019 - 06:43 AM
Checking in also.

This is one of those weeks that looked as if it was *finally* going to be open and unstructured, only to fill up right beforehand. I've done my best to be a good sport about it, but I feel like around 90% of my weeks that look like good prospects for attempting to bring some order into my chaotic universe, suddenly change into just another week of having to put my plans for hoarding recovery efforts, or satisfying lufe accomplishments, on the back burner.

My roommate had been dealing with the ragweed - and whatever else - allergies off and on. I'd been praying it wouldn't escalate into one of her infamous long drawn out miserable battles. For her, the term "seasonal" allergies takes on the meaning of "ruining entire seasons of one's life."

She had seemed to be battling back, then it all returned and worsened. Early this morning she came into the living room and sat in her upright glider rocker. I am volunteering to surrender the sofa; I'd originally planned to attack the bedroom and move back in there.

Things drag out until they become urgent crises, and this is a pattern I hate but seem practically incapable of significantly changing. It drives me to near despair, and keeps me in a state of constantly elevated baseline stress. Which then muddles my brain and scatters my thoughts and saps my energy further. UGH.

Sorry to sound like Debi Downer. There have been good things too, scattered amidst the crazy. But what I'm sorely missing right now is any consistent structure and flow.

And of course I feel so awful for my roommate. Wretched allergies from Hell. :( I can pray, and if there is some thing I can do... well, clearing the couch is a thing. I hope I can transition back to my room quietly, actually make room to walk and sleep, etc.

Tomorrow is my followup with the doctor about the back and hip. Sleeping out here on the couch basically cured me. I don't know what going back on that bed will or won't do. Just have to hope for the best.

Wish me luck...
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Tillie
Posted: 15 October 2019 - 09:41 PM
Good Evening Everybody

Had a nice lazy relaxed day.
Did a little of this & that, all enjoyable things.
Made a candle.
Mended two dresses that just needed a stitch in time.
Enjoyed the sight of the trees changing color and the pretty Chrysanthemum blooms, white and rust and yellow.
Thought many deep thoughts.
Played with a leaf hopper.
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Tillie
Posted: 15 October 2019 - 12:47 PM
Good Morning Everyone

Hi Subclinical
We miss you but we do understand (((HUG)))

Hi Tatoulia
The plastic screening also degrades over time and develops weak areas prone to tearing.
I redo some of my screens with metal screen because cats easily make holes in plastic screen.

Big cities sure do have fancy sandwiches!
That does sound delicious. ;p

So very happy your Mom loves her new kitty so. :D


Woke up at 5am but after a while was able to fall back to sleep.
At 9am got laundry hung out on the line.
Washed it last night and had it in a plastic bag.
Today will be another lovely warm day.
There is nothing pressing needing done in my yard/garden area, I'm all caught up.
Should do some cleaning inside but I don't wanna.
When the days are too cold to play outside there will be plenty of time to clean inside.
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Subclinical
Posted: 15 October 2019 - 06:29 AM
Right now i'm Going through a rough patch.

I'm still around. I like checking up on the kitties.

Carry on.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 14 October 2019 - 09:55 PM
Tillie!

I didn't do much on my list today. I ran to the hardware store but they don't repair window screens. I think the one on Charles Street does and I'll call them tomorrow. I know kitty misses sitting in her window. I don't know who or what has been tearing up my screen but I'm pretty sure it's bird poop. I had fixed it myself in a few spots last year but since the phone guy pulled it out, there are just so many areas needing attention.

The things I did do on my list were mom-related. I brought her clean dishes to her and picked up more. And I went to two grocery stores with her. I also went shopping with BF (I bought nothing-yay me) and we stopped for a sandwich. It was a different place than we normally go and they also had a sweet potato sandwich. It was delicious!!! Very hearty bread with Granny Smith apples, mustard greens, blue cheese and walnut pesto. So tasty.

I did get two loads of laundry done. The best part of my day was spending time with BF. we don't get much time together.

So that's what I got done. A lot of walking and a lot of talking. Now I'm completely exhausted. I have started to put away things from the closets and have made more decisions. Oh and cat box clean and garbage out.

Goodnight dear friends. I didn't get to hold mom's cat this weekend. I found her secret hiding spot and I don't want to disturb her. Yesterday I saw a back foot and a tail. Today I saw either her belly or her back. She was definitely sound asleep. Mom said tonight that she loves her so much that it hurts.

I'm busily preparing for mom's 90th Birthday. Will be here in under two weeks!
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