Today I up and went to clinic to get blood tests done then to radiologist, but could not get appt. until Monday.
Yesterday at doctors appt. I took a list of questions. I was shocked when I got on the scale and saw that I had lost 22 pounds in past months. I think it is due to stress from all the things that have happened past several months. Doctor found breast lump, so will have to go Monday for that. Apparently I do have frost bite on toes, so have to take care of them, and not go out for very long in cold. To me they look ok, since they were so much worse before. I am a little worried about the weight loss since did not diet or exercise, other than work around here, grateful doctor is bright and will figure it out. I knew clothes were loose but had no idea it was 22 pounds, thought maybe 10. My living room is a mess, no maintenance in here, did do two drainers full of dishes, still one more to go. Did one load laundry. Two friends called today to offer emotional support. Worked on cracks on garage roof today, until it was too cold. It really needs to be replaced when it warms up, but will finish patching it for now. I wasted a few hours sorting screws, nails, bolts etc today, just because it was fun stress release. I could do some cleaning in here tonight but just want to watch tv, and avoid life. It is ok for now. Most likely I will wake up tomorrow and get back to maintenance.

WOW! :D
I really like that live chat pop up!!! :D
GREAT idea.

In case you haven't seen this new feature yet...
a small box popped up to the left of the screen saying I could have a live chat right now to help me with a cleaning problem or tough situation.

diane,
You posted a several days ago that your insurance gave you our contact info. Can you email me what insurance you have? I am just curious which carrier is giving out our info. I know Kaiser refers us a lot, but not sure of any others. It is great at least to see they are providing resources to their clients!

Thanks for sharing your ways to remember doing an action :) Good ideas! I have experimented with a few different things and haven't yet landed on a go to. Most of the time I just stop and focus on checking. Sometimes I sing a little song like, "Checking the door and it's raining and it's Tuuuuesday!" haha!

Last night when I got home from work I emptied out my night stand and went through my jewelry box. It was quite a chore since I've had some of that old jewelry for ages and most of it was not something I'd wear now.

Day two!

Today I burned the bag of papers I didn't feel comfortable just tossing with the trash. The only other thing on my agenda before work is to take some extra time getting ready. Take a nice pampering shower, repaint my nails. Oh and I ran the dishwasher also.

Have a great day everybody! As always, thank you for sharing with me.

Susan L,
Congratulations on visibility of the closet floor. That's a pretty amazing accomplishment.

Books,

First of all, I have had a lot of books damaged in storage, that made it much easier because all they were good for was to be thrown away or recycled as paper.

Other things I would look at and ask questions. Does this generally duplicate something else I have. Which one do I like best? Are the perspectives different enough I need them both. Am I keeping this because of me, or someone else?
For example, I had a book about an adventure in the life of a quite famous american scientist. I recently disposed of it after realizing that I have had the book at least 5 years, it has been in 2 or 3 different locations and I've not read it, AND the primary reason I was keeping it was because an acquaintance liked this scientist. Are the ideas in this book something I really really want to read about in the next 2-3 years? and so-on. That process at least got a start on cleaning out undamaged books for me.

Jess,

I have had trouble with checking locks too. Not so much lately, but the problem still lurks. A comment about something I tried for awhile, the main problem for me was remembering to do it:

I would make it a point to lock the door and then stop and pretend I was a camera, blinking my eyes shut and then open again, taking a picture of the locked door. Then when I was 5 blocks (including one stop light) away, needing to go back and check if the door was locked, I could remember-no I locked it, I took a picture.

Basically trying to do something that would make the action compelling checking, memorable.

I need a way to get that started now for remembering to deliberately note the location of my vehicle in the store's parking lot.

You're right, accountability is a good thing. And I certainly have never seen anyone around here be rude or unkind. I'm usually a come and go-er because I find it very difficult to stick to anything long term so I think it would do me some good to shoot for the 21 days.

Day one!

I have to work in a couple hours so I don't have time to do anything too major. I really would like to go through the bookcase in the living room and pick about half to go to donation. Basically, I have a box of books in my bedroom that I want to incorporate on that bookcase so that the box will be gone. To do this I'd need to choose only the ones I really want to keep.

Every day I am also trying to stay mindful of my compulsions and making an effort to delay them. In my OCD book it teaches how to make a new neuro pathway over time, much like the way to forge a new normal behavior over 21 days. Last night I only checked the door to see if it was locked twice. Might not seem like much but to only check twice and then get to sleep soundly is wonderful. It may not always be easy but if this is the payoff, living more comfortably and having some peace, I'm happy to do the work.

Good luck today everyone! I'm in your corner!

What am I doing today?
Yesterday I finished piecing together a quilt top so today I will begin fitting and basting the layers together.
The hard part is that when I lay it all out on the floor the cats come and lay on it and decide to take naps there and it is hard working around them. :D
First I need to get dressed and do the usual stuff.
Scoop litter boxes, fresh water & fill kibble bowls, sweep floors & porches.
So, what are you all up to today? :D

Too many pigs indeed lol

I was just listening to a Diana Krall song-Stop this World, a couple of hours ago:


Stop this world, let me off Theres just too many pigs in the same trough

So far I have taken out two more bags for donation. Several bags to the trash. I realized that I keep a lot of small empty boxes, mostly from products I felt were important and I figured I might need the box. A lot of those products I don't even have anymore. Trash, trash, trash!

I also am noticing I have a huge difficulty getting rid of electronics. Old cell phones, laptops, digital cameras, etc. I have a(n) (irrational?) fear that my data is still in the device so I can't throw it away. Not sure what to do about that. I at least got rid of a bunch of old cords and cables.

I have a lot of souvenier type stuff that people have given me that I keep only because I feel like it's rude to get rid of it. I took a step by talking to my husband about how he'd feel if I got rid of some things he's given me throughout our relationship. Also, texted my best friend about a piggy bank she gave me that we have an inside joke about. She gave me her blessing to get rid of it but also said if I didn't mind sending it to her she would love to have it. I had a thing for cute piggy stuff when I was younger so people always saw banks and pig stuff and thought of me. I have boxes of them *sigh* I'm drowning in sentimental pigs!

About To-Do lists....
I usually make a daily list with about 3 or 4 things I want to get done that day.
Sometimes I do all the things, sometimes due to whatever all the things don't get done.

My real list is a list of things for me to pick and choose from.
It helps when I don't know what I want to do.
This list is just a list of things I notice will need doing someday, sorta soon, but no pressure to do it all right NOW.

Like a Chinese menu where you pick something from column A and something else from column B but every day there is always eggroll, stuff that gets done daily like cat stuff.

diane, thank you for sharing your experience ((hugs)) Glad to see you staying positive and making the choice to find healthy ways to cope. Very inspiring, today especially.

Barb, I was thinking the same thing this morning. There are so many things I want to do I didn't know what to post. I started to fear that I would end up making an impossible list and setting myself up to feel like a failure. Trying today to take one step at a time and then see where it gets me.

I'm currently feeling a little thrown off. I don't have work today so I want to continue working on the back bedroom. My husband texted me from work and asked me to make my chicken soup tonight. For the last hour I've been trying to rearrange and make sense of my day (OCD) to include the necessary grocery run and cooking time. Trying to snap out of it. I do feel really good that he likes my soup and is daydreaming about it at work lol

Good morning everybody :D

The weather is windy & dark overcast with possibility of rain today.
Great day to stay inside & do craft projects.
Today is trash pick up day and the can is already out at the road. YEA! :D
The daffodils have already started putting up little flower buds.
The iris are growing their leaves.
The doves are getting affectionate with each other.
All signs that Spring will be here soon. :)

I agree with you Barb. When I post to do list in mornming, I am fearful I will fail and not do them, since I usually do things not on list, so much more positive to post at end of day, celebrating what I have done.

Good morning, all.
Thank you, Diane, for being so open and honest in sharing your experience and struggles. You encourage the rest of us. Give your old cat a little rub under the chin from me.
We all have blind spots. As we grow older, we learn to accept ourselves as we are. And each shortcoming may actually be a blessing in disguise. Although my extroverted friends are fun to be with, they can sometimes be exhausting and superficial. I love the time I can spend with my quiet, introspective friends because we talk about things that really matter and I gain new insight about the world around me. In this modern age we have forgotten what it is to be quiet and just be with each other without the pressure of talking.
Thanks, also, to Cory for keeping tabs on this site and encouraging us.
I have a confession to make. It seems as though I am making good progress when I post my plans for the day. Plans do not equal progress. Some days I have great plans, but still get very little accomplished. It is really discouraging to read the same plans day after day and know that I am really just stuck in the same place.
From now on, I will post at the end of the day, what I actually have done.

Thank you Cory for the encouragement and the suggestions. I feel honored you took the time to address my distress. I have areas that are blind spots for sure. The thrift store addiction was not activated yesterday, normally I would go until closing time, was aware it is no longer the best solution to distress. I have always felt more comfortable talking about meaningful things, so when chatty lunch person talked and talked I just sat and listened, trying to learn how to do small talk, I joined in a few times, but really didn't see the point, when we could be talking about roof repairs!! Today I do not remember one thing she said, do remember the light fun emotions she had. I used to be the life of the party, but it was very tiring to be more extroverted than I really was. Slowly I withdrew to the point it is difficult to be with people at all. I do not enjoy going to lunch, would much rather go for a walk and talk. Thought I would try it yesterday and see if I could change that. For now, will not make anymore lunch plans. I feel much more authentic in nature, and at ease. I woke up this morning reliving yesterdays anxiety, talked myself into letting it go and look at it as a learning challenge, then to read Cory's comments, and knew I could shut the door on yesterdays pain and get to work today on dishes, clean up, so I don't feel ashamed of mess. I appreciate this site so much, knowing there are ups and downs, and we can start over any minute we choose to.

diane,
Thank you for sharing about your lunch yesterday. I hope you can look at the experience in a different light. One of the first things my business coach did with me is to find my Blind Spots. He had everyone in my offices and my family fill out a long questionnaire about me. While I thought in my own mind, all of their answers would be glowing and filled with nothing but high marks, I was wrong. He sat down with me and explained that all of us have blind spots, which are things that others see in us, that we don't see in ourselves. These are the most important items to learn and recognize whether we feel it or believe it or not. If others "feel" a certain way about us, than we should probably consider how to fix that.

You said yourself, that you were nervous about going to lunch with your friend, so already there was apprehension there. Your friend probably feels this way to so she brought a buffer with her. Rather than see this as a negative, learn from it. See how you can work on yourself where people will not need to bring another date to the party, but rather you yourself be the life of the party! I think you did great by stopping yourself from a day of thrift stores, so a huge congratulations is in order. That takes complete self control to stop the old cycles of comfort, in order to find new healthy comforts. Keep up the great work, and keep looking for your blind spots, or even ask some friends to be brutally honest, so you can learn what all of them are. Change is ongoing and uncomfortable, but if we want to be the best we can be, we MUST continue to do the self work, to learn, grow, and change!

Yesterday I visited a friend and we took her dog for a long walk, very nice visit. Today I went to lunch with a casual friend, which is way outside my comfort zone, we had planned this last week. When I got there, I was surprised to find she had invited a friend of hers this morning, without telling me. The friend she invited talked non stop, while enjoyable conversation, it was weird. At the end, I asked my friend if she invited the chattery friend, because she was afraid of being bored with just me, she said, well, her friend is very entertaining. I felt very embarrassed and sad. Instead of going home as planned, I went to a thrift store, no surprise, and felt it was like holding a special blankie, the comfort of the familiar. I bought two cheery tshirts. Thought of going to other thrift stores, but knew it would not help pain, only time would lessen feelings of disappointment. So I went to Home Depot to buy more roof patch and get advice on different repairs. I left there feeling like gathering repair information was more healing, by far, than shopping at thrift store. I am still learning about my compulsion to shop to prevent feeling alone or rejected. Very aware of spending time with people that really like me and stop trying to get approval from people that are too busy for me or they have many close friends, and I am not one. Tomorrow I plan to stay home all day and work on maintenance, a little on roof, bring in wood. It is supposed to snow tomorrow and Thursday. Thursday I have a doctor appt. that I really need to go to, and am stressed about snow. Took a month to get this appt. I plan to go, drive slow.
I spoke with a woman at my health insurance today about hoarding, now that it is a medical diagnosis, wanted to know what they offer. She gave me the phone number for Cory's business. She spoke with fellow employees and will continue to try to find resources in this community. Said I am finally willing to go to therapy, but only CBT that has dealt with hoarders, she will call me back with information she can find. I felt relieved that she was so concerned and helpful. She said the local health dept. is working on making a plan to help hoarders, good news.

Roxie, great job dealing with the unopened mail! That's a problem area for me.

Karl, way to go! Productive day indeed.

Tillie, if only you could teach me to be an early riser! Your laundry accomplishment encouraged me to stick to my weekly task and finish up mine. Last loads are in the dryer as I type.

Dianne, sorry about your doggy pee wake up! Hopefully the day just got better and better from there!

I've got the rest of my laundry in the dryer right now and I plan to immediately fold and sort it into keep and donate.

After work today I used a gift card from our wedding shower to buy a package of space bags, those large bags for blankets and such that compress when the air is vacuumed out. This was great for a few reasons. 1- I hoard gift cards. I get so anxious about "wasting" them on the wrong purchase that I just don't use them. Oh, irrational OCD. 2- I limited myself to that one item before I even entered the store and I stuck to it. 3- Moving the pillows and blankets freed up a corner of the bedroom I haven't seen in quite a while :)

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have to talk myself through my daily activities. I had a very anxious morning and I managed to stay on track. I'll take the victory.

Good morning :D
I was up before the Sun but had the Moon to keep me company.
Cleaned the bathroom and got two loads of laundry hung out on the line to dry.
Next will be the floors, sweep & vacuum.

Hi Roxie :)
WAY TO GO! :D getting stuff done!

Hi Barb :)
Stay warm, stay safe.

Hi Jess :)
GREAT! to hear how you are doing.
WAY TO GO!!! for all your accomplishments! :D

Hi Karl :)
GREAT!!! job getting stuff done.
So happy you were able to solve that credit card payment issue.

HI Everybody else :D

After I get the house all tidied up I can relax.
His three day weekends really wear me out. :)

Thank you Barb! It does feel good.

Some of it was quite emotional. I burned some papers from an old car I had that my parents gave me and they had my maiden name on them. That made me sad. I have to frequently remind myself that getting rid of things does not mean I am getting rid of the memories.

I'm proud of myself for making progress. I don't know about you guys but I have a VERY hard time cleaning in front of anyone else. Since childhood I was mortified if anyone saw me leaving my room with trash. Well my husband got an unexpected day off today and I cleaned anyway :)

OH and I can now open my worst closet's door all the way! It opens inward and I haven't been able to do that for many months.

It is good to hear from you again, Jess. It sounds like your really got a lot done today. It must feel great to have your bedroom less cluttered. I'm glad you are doing well.

Hello everyone. I haven't checked in (or read really) since December. I made a pretty big effort today to clear out my bedroom and it made me want to come back here and read. I'm huge on avoidance and I think that's why I haven't been around.

I've been going to therapy and learning more and more about my OCD. I've been reading a lot about it too and choosing to download the books on my kindle instead of bringing more books into this apartment (ha!).

So anyway, today I took out 3 bags of clothes, shoes and purses to donate. I tossed a few bags of garbage, mostly old clothing I didn't feel was fit for donation and papers. I finally tossed the box my TV came in.

Recently I threw away almost all of my makeup, anything that was not very recently purchased. And I invested in new items, not just newly bought but new brands and better quality more grown up products. I had been using some of the same types since high school and I'm now 28. Overdue for a change.

Not only did that feel amazing but it helped clear a great deal of clutter from my life. I've gotten lots of compliments too, which doesn't hurt.

That's my update! Glad to see familiar faces here. I hope everyone is having a great day and staying warm in this crazy winter!

Hi all,
My friends three hours to the west are having freezing rain. It is headed this way and many schools in this area are either closed or closing early. This is a good day to stay in and declutter.
Sorry I missed last night's group. I guess I need to set a timer so I remember to log on.
I hope people will not shy away when they are not progressing or have slipped backward.
There is a concept in learning called "plateauing". This is nature's way of helping us collect ourselves and regroup before we begin making progress again. As long as we use the time to get ourselves together and begin again, it's all good.
Have a great day, whatever you choose to do.
Barb

Good morning every body :)

Last night after chat we were discussing why some people quit coming to Sunday chat or even posting on the message board.
It was suggested that perhaps you quit posting because you have no new progress to report or maybe you have back slid on decluttering or cleaning.
Maybe you are depressed, sick, injured, financially strapped and stay away because you have no positive things to talk about.
This is a SUPORT GROUP
we want to hear from you no matter what, because YOU matter to us.
We want to hear about the bad times you are going through so we can hold you in our prayers and also post our support to you.
You are NOT alone. we ARE here for you.
We do understand how hard decluttering and cleaning out is and that there will be many ups and downs while doing this hard work all by your selves.
This is what this message board is here for.
Someone to listen to you with understanding.
So please don't stay away just because you have nothing positive to post.
(((HUGS)))
Sincerely, Tillie

Hi :)

Hope you all can get to the online support group tonight at 5:00pm PST.
We all really need to connect with each other.

Hi all,
I know I dropped off the map for a while. I went through some personal problems and cleanup needed to stop while I dealt with other things.
Having a cleanup crew come in is on hold for a while. I watched the hoarding show episode where the cleanup crew threw out the woman's purse with her driver's license, glasses, and cell phone inside. That just reinforced for me how hard it is going to be to put someone else in control.
We had another snow again yesterday. A forecasted 30 degree rise in temperature is going to cause major flooding. My house is so tiny that we would need to do the project when there is access to the driveway and front yard as a staging area. There is limited parking on the street. That probably means summer.
I have to see how much I can get done on my own first.
I would guess that my house is a level 4.
The kitchen has been in fairly good shape since I thoroughly cleaned it. I need to steam clean the floor and clean the oven but they are really not bad. I need someone to lift out the old microwave and put the new one in.
I have revisited the philosophy of living from Stephen Covey's 7 Habits books: maintenance activities first, decluttering next.
I had depleted the food in my pantry and freezer so I restocked yesterday. I buy meat in bulk and freeze it because it is cheaper.
Today: laundry, kitchen cleaning, one bag of trash out, repackage the meat I bought in small units for the freezer.
I may join the discussion group tomorrow night, although I hate to miss Downton Abbey.
Love to you all. Keep your eye on the prize!

Thank you Dianne, Dave, Roxie and Tillie, warmed my heart reading your kind words. Thanks for the dog story Dianne, you are so kind.
Today I had my first leak in the kitchen, put a bucket under it. A couple of days ago a flood warning was issued due to heavy rains on top of snow. I have been checking ceilings in here and kitchen was only leak so far. Past two days have been putting old towels around all areas that flooded last time, walkway and garage. New leak in garage.
This is such a brutal winter. I have been thinking of living options, new roof on garage, newer manufactured home or small stick built. While in garage thinking I could get new roof, store stuff in there until new house is here. I started crying like a baby at all the hoard I still have to deal with. Yesterday I spent the whole day moving stuff off deck to garbage or garage. Churning gets me nowhere, I am so overwhelmed, feel like I am going in circles today. I think I will follow Dianne and pack up some books to give away. I thought to do that just before I got on computer, then thought, that won't help much, but it is a start on giving stuff away again. It is pouring out all day. Woke up at about 5 with loud rain, jumped up and started looking for leaks, this is no way to enjoy the golden years. Would be so much easier if hoard was gone totally. Today I will go through every room with a bag or box and see what I can donate. I have to go pick up a Rx today and will take a load to donate, have to see some progress, too depressing the way it is. Thanks for your support through this terrible winter. Would be so much worse if I hadn't made the progress you have helped me make.

Tillie,
Thank you for clarifying your abbreviation! Not many people are happy when those abbreviations are present :)