Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Last night I woke up to the sound of rain.
It was so lovely to lay there and listen to it.
Everything has been thoroughly soaked which is great for all my trees, bushes and flowers & herbs but not so great for all his stuff laying around out there.
The carport roof has been so neglected that it doesn't provide any coverage under there any more.
All his overflow stuff from the garage piled there is totally saturated now.
Hopefully this will encourage him to toss the sopping wet moldering mess.
It's clothes, books, stuff in cardboard boxes, electronics, furniture, small appliances, you name it, and now it is all ruined.
Anyways....
Today I need to wash some dishes then plan to take it easy and rest up.
Tomorrow I will need to do some general house cleaning, but not today.
The sky is dark with rain clouds and I love rainy days! 😀

Lets all spend the day searching for the rainbows. ;D

Thank you. It is hard for me to post or keep up with house right now. Under extreme pressure with situation. I did, however, just get up and do the dishes. I need to get some normalcy back. I have been working a lot this week and that has helped to get me through the pain of dealing with this person. I have changed home phone number and am keeping cell turned off.

Thinking of you all, and sending special hugs to our own dear Tillie.

Im sorry you are going through this, Tatoulia?! (((HUG))) 😀

Thanks Anony! We forge ahead. I have to get my Christmas things out of this person's house today. He already got rid of two of my things. I'm glad he's giving me this opportunity. I am a little scared but think it will go okay. If it gets weird, my BF already told me to just walk away from the stuff. Much of it is from my childhood but thanks to learning to deal with my hoard, I can say goodbye without falling apart. If this person has thrown it out, well, then, at least I had it for as many years as I did and it will be fine.

BF is being very supportive as I try to wend my way through family member's psychotic break. Looking forward to getting help with NAMI too.

Hello to everyone. Bitsy, many many thanks for referring ms to that resource. I need exactly the help and support they can provide. And it is this website that has taught me that there is light at the end of whatever tunnel we are peering down and that a support group is very helpful. Thank you so much.

YEA, Tatoulia!!! AWESOME!!! 😀 😀 😀

Great plan, CriticalMass! Your new Spiritual involvement may very well keep you inspired and energized towards your goals in cleaning and renewing!
I, however, can feel myself losing steam in getting my mess improved, ever since my stepson left....
I got a reference for a hard working woman in town...im very hesitant of dealing with anyone in this small, drug and crime infested community....i know that sounds paranoid...id feel more comfortable with someone from out of the area, but then im paying them for 3 extra hours of driving....(sigh)

Hello to everyone. Bitsy, many many thanks for referring ms to that resource. I need exactly the help and support they can provide. And it is this website that has taught me that there is light at the end of whatever tunnel we are peering down and that a support group is very helpful. Thank you so much.

Hi to Tillie, Greta, Tatoulia, Roxie, CM, MW, bitsy, Karl, Anonymoniker, and Jess, Oodles, Diane, Dave, and others who might be reading.

I finally got back to my vehicle project again a few days ago. Got a lot of things out of the back half of the vehicle, got them somewhat reorganized, and got that half of the vehicle vacuumed out fairly well. I still have a loooonnng way to go with this project, but I'm glad about the part that got done. While working on my vehicle, I finally found a couple of small hardware items I'd bought a couple of months ago that I subsequently misplaced, as well as a water hose attachment I've been wanting to use.

I attended an annual yard sale and fund-raising auction this past weekend for an organization of which I am a member. I took a few good, usable, not-needed items to donate to the auction, as well as a few items I'd crafted specifically for the auction. Last year (in part because of space concerns and in part because of trying to be frugal), I set up some guidelines for myself ahead of time regarding what types of items I would or wouldn't bid on and what my spending limit would be. I was very pleased that I stuck with my limits and guidelines. I didn't set such strict, specific guidelines this year, but I knew I would need to be cautious. I did purchase a few things that I had an immediate use for; in most cases, these were items I'd planned to buy elsewhere anyway. At one point, near the end of the yard sale part of the event, it was announced that we could get a box and fill it with all the items we could fit in the box and pay only five dollars for the whole thing. In years past, I would gladly have grabbed an empty box and filled it. Now, though, I know that just because something is a bargain is not a good reason for me to buy it . . . so I didn't. (Yea!)

Hugs to all.

Taking a minute amidst the madness to once again check in briefly. I guess this is going to be my M.O. for awhile yet. The big room makeover where I live has taken over. My roommate and I have both had to move stuff all over the house but in a few days it will start to be relocated to the finished room, or in the remaining rooms there will be more room to organize our respective stuff that stays. Something like that.

Have had lots of people around me in situations that I wish I could help them more - one friend thinking of moving out of the area, one friend still awaiting getting out of rehab from head injury, another friend whose daughter lost her baby - mind boggling stuff and my heart breaks sometimes.

I've also made a couple of commitments - one to an 8-week Bible prayer group and the other to getting back to being a part of the church quilt guild 1x a week (I could go up to 3x but I'm trying to be realistic here!).

Starting these new things is ambivalent - part of me sees all I have leftover from the move and the project. But another part of me says I have to have some things to recharge spiritually and mentally with, so the shadow of The Big Move feels further distant.

And then there's the storage unit, which the weather is getting to be ideal for dealing with...

So, there's A Lot Going On.

Things were gliding along nicely, lots of things getting done and improving, my stepson being a MAJOR help....then, he needed to get his big dog from his cheating wife...and bring it 'somewhere'....i have cats...even in a pen at the other end of my 45 acres, i couldnt live with a mishap that id have invited...no matter how sweet or well behaved, i just dont trust dogs.....

Good Morning 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Sorry about this new problem but I do understand your thinking about not allowing something that you might regret later. (((hugs)))

Yesterday I got all caught up with laundry and dishes.
Today after cat care, planning to do simple easy stuff.
Hem a small drape, straighten out the contents of the wall safe and do a wipe down/dusting in the car.

Tatoulia,
I hope you have some emotional support for yourself when trying to deal with someone with mental illness. Do you have NAMI (national association for the mentally ill)groups in your area? They usually have peer support meetings every week. One for mentally ill people and separate meetings for family members. They also are helpful in finding resources and they have an informative web site.
take care.

Hello everyone! Glad to hear from you all.

Living through a difficult time. Mentally I'll family member seems to be having a severe break and I'm running around stressed and scared. Bad combination.

Will write more later. I'm just missing you all. Thank you for your strong support. Thank you so much.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Oodles 🙂
Great to hear from you.
Hope you managed to get a little caught up even with your very busy schedule.
WAY TO GO! not giving up and cleaning the bathroom instead. 😀
Going to the apple orchard! Sounds lovely and brings back memories for me of the beautiful times I did that as a child. 😀

Hi Tatoulia:)
Big (((HUGS)))
So very sorry you are going through this difficult time.
We are all here for you and wish you strength.

Looks like today should be easier for me and maybe I will even catch up on a few things around here.
I got really sick and have only been doing cat care here and at the other house.
Laundry and dishes have piled up.
I am still weak and very dizzy but I will slowly do what I can to get back into maintenance.

TTYL 🙂

Hi all miss reading and writing here but life gets in the way of living lol things are going ok mom is still trying to hoard some my dad is doing ok other than that nothing new just busy running for my family.hope everyone here is is doing good I will try to write more soon.
Have a good day!

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Greta 🙂
Wonderful to hear from you. 🙂
Yes, sometimes life gets rather busy. Thanks for the update. 😀

Been really busy here for me.
Started taking care of the neighbor's house again yesterday and this time I am baby sitting their three cats in their own home.
So between what I am doing at my own house, now I need to spend some time at the other house too.
This will be until the beginning of November.
When done right, pet sitting takes up a lot of time so please forgive me when I don't post regularly. 🙂

TTYL 😀

Hello All:

Thinking of you. Me? I am struggling lately. Daughter here is leaving items across the surfaces that I had been sorting. This is a set back. Still working over 50 hrs a week. Beats getting another job for lower pay. Gas lines being replaced yard is tore up so dogs are muddying the house.

Today I am going to focus on peripheral cleaning. Dishes, Laundry, mopping, garbage and see where I get. I tried to go into a room but, it is my daughters things and she is still sleeping. I was going to just stop then decided to go and clean a bathroom. A lot of anxiety today. Tomorrow I am going to the apple orchard

Thank you, Tillie. You are a sweetpea. What I most appreciate about goodwill is the prices are truly affordable, rarely do I see an item of clothing for more than five dollars. That's important to me--the items are affordable for the people who shop there.

In the spring, after a very snowy winter here in the East, I decide I never wanted to see my down jacket again. So I packed it up, with its two sets of matching gloves and it's coordinating scarf, and took it right over. Just never wanted to ever see it again!

LAST FULL DAY OF SUMMER!
Don't let it go to waste! 😀

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Hope you have another warm coat all ready to keep you warm this winter. 🙂

Been up before the sun today.
This is the last predicted warm day for here. Temps will drop down 20 degrees after today.
Doing some heavier laundry that takes longer to dry on the line.
Soon I will be going out to water the trees & bushes.
I'm soaking the shower head in vinegar right now to get the hard water deposits out and hope that will get it to spray correctly.
Also planning to scrub out the litter boxes.
Then I need to clean up the kitchen.

CARPE DIEM 🙂

Hello everyone! MW, getting rest is sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself!

At the beginning of the summer, when I was putting out my white bedspread and adding a pink floral comforter folded at the foot of my bed, I said to myself, this is the last season I use my pink comforter. When I was changing things out yesterday, I washed the comforter and today I took it to good will.

Last year when I cleaned out storage bin I got rid of many comforters and pillow and such. I like to change it up a bit, but I also was just plain hoarding. So I went to goodwill and got rid of it today. I included the pillow shams, so it is all done.

Also took a bag of stuff, previously tough to get rid of. I have to act fast when I make up my mind. I don't have a lot of wiggle room.

I enjoyed the pink comforter for a couple of years. Now someone else can enjoy. And I don't even care if it's a street person. I just hope it goes on to serve another cold body.

Hi Everybody! 🙂

Hi MW 🙂
Getting enough rest when we need it is as important as anything else we ever do.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Thank You for all your extremely generous donations.
Being rather poor, for decades ALL of my clothes, bedding, drapes, craft supplies and other needed items come from thrift shops.
Whenever I find something lovely, that I need/have an immediate use for, I always think about the person who donated it and thank them in my heart.
Other stores in the area also donate their overstock and last seasons clothing and household items.
Thanks to all the wonderful donations over the years, me and my house are very attractively outfitted.
It amazes me that there are so many new, tags still on, items I have been fortunate to find.
Plus it feels good that the money I spend on them all goes to the charity thrift shop and then back into the community to help others. 😀

Got up early this morning and started doing "stuff".
Did some laundry
did some yard work
did some laptop updating and maintenance
did some food prep
washed my hair, ate some food.
3:00pm here now and I am all done for today. 🙂

Wow! Envious and happy to hear that MW and LR are friends in real life! MW I see you have a day all to yourself--could I stop by?

Hello everyone! Started another bag to goodwill. As the decisions get tougher, they get easier. I'm now in the right frame of mind to let things go, so decisions I agonized over before now just make sense. I have also learned that making the "wrong decision" (getting rid of something I wish I had kept) is a part of life. We all regret getting rid of something. So be it!

Tillie, thank you for the commiseration. It is true, we get manipulated and abused and then we find bursts of fortitude to take care of ourselves. I'm glad you have been able to reclaim some of your life. I completely understand how it builds and builds and you wake up one day to say, wait a minute, how come I'm living according to someone else's crazy, arbitrary rules?

So true Tatoulia (((HUGS))) 😀
WAY TO GO!!!
Fantastic all you have done mentally with letting things go and especially for your new mindset/perspective about the importance/specialness of these items.
Sounds like you are keeping only those things you need, treasure or that "spark joy".
And letting go of all the things that were holding you back from enjoying your home and life. 🙂

I did not make good use of today but I did get some rest.

It felt so good to have my living area picked up and clean yesterday. Today I once again have the rare opportunity to be alone at my house and so I plan to work on the bathroom, sunroom and to try to paint for a while.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

So, LR2014 and MW have been visiting in real life?
FANTASTIC! WAY TO GO!!! 😀
Bet that was a whole lot of fun, now I'm jealous. 😉
It's nice that you two live close enough to visit.

Good Morning 🙂

Hi MW 🙂
WTG! Good luck with your plans for today!
Even if you don't get everything on your list done, celebrate all the things that you do accomplish! 😀

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
(((HUGS)))
I could have written what you wrote.
Being verbally/psychologically abused day after day, year after year, just sucks the will to live out of us.
There is a lot of mean stuff he does to me that I don't write about, like the time he ran my cat down in the driveway and left her there to suffer to death.
But the main thing is...
WE must do everything we possibly can to make our lives what we need and want for ourselves.
He destroyed my car and only one (his) of all these vehicles run.
Being trapped out here in the country with no car for decades = no way to support myself with employment.
He has alienated almost everybody so I am all alone.
He knows that I would leave if I could but he has added me to his hoard of things.
But since this last hospitalization and recovery episode, I have taken his new car from him, made him replace the battery and other parts to the truck he disabled (so I couldn't use it) for him to use.
I am standing fast and will not back down. I have reconnected with my friends and now have somewhat of a social life and somewhat of a support system.
The nearby town is small but I have put the word out that I am looking for employment.
I have gone to the dentist and got my teeth fixed even though he resents the money I spent on myself because that means less money for him to spend on adding to the hoard.
The more I do to escape the nastier he gets but I will not let that deter me.

Tatoulia, you and the others here give me the strength and courage I need and have helped me more than you will ever know. (((HUGS)))

(From LR): Too bad LR2014 didn't read MW's post before contacting her today to let her know she was free to go over for a visit! So much for MW's "rare opportunity to be alone at home." LOL

(from MW): I had the even rarer opportunity to visit with LR2014 as this was her first time to visit my house.

(From LR): LR is enjoying MW's hospitality! Thanks, MW! (Better luck to you tomorrow with getting a day home alone!)

Hi to all!

Hi Tillie,

I too have been struggling a bit lately. It takes a lot of energy to look on the bright side, day after day, when living with or taking care of someone with an illness. I am being berated and abused by someone with mental illness. This has been going on for decades, but the last few weeks it has become unbearable. And the rest of my life seems hopeless and worthless. I'm under so much stress then I'm mad when my house still isn't where I want it to be. And I'm mad for abusing my body by eating too much. And then I just want to sleep when I get home. But I have terrible sleep and I toss and turn. Nothing gets accomplished and I feel like it's not worth it.

I so appreciate your taking stock of things and getting ready for winter and for reminding me that life goes on, and it's my life, so I should forge ahead. I invariably feel better once I take action.

Not sure if this makes sense. I'm glad to have you by my side. And I hope when you are feeling depressed, you'll know I'm standing next to you.

Much love