hi all. Been working long hours and also volunteering long hours, so have not been home much. We are having a new kink in the plan. Can I pick your brains?

Plan was TotsFam was to live with me approx 8 months and then purchase my home and I would stay with them until I found one I wanted to buy. However, due to numerous circumstances, they have been here for about 16 months and TotsDad has decided he could not afford my home (and I cannot afford to sell it to them at half of market value, either). He can only afford to buy a duplex or similar, with immediate rental income. Okay, no problem, I can sell my home on the market. However, due to more circumstances he will not have a downpayment to buy anything for about a year.

Now we are considering moving ALL my things upstairs to the main floor and giving them the whole bottom floor so that we are not all on top of each other for another year and have more privacy, and me not catching every sickness the children get, and more reasons, etc.

I am not sure how I feel about this, but I can't just kick them out, so... major declutter time? I don't even know. Thinking about putting a door at the bottom of the stairs for privacy too. I dearly love my family but having people in my space all the time is hard, especially when the little ones are spilling juice and milk in the carpet, shoving food into my couches, leaving spills and food on the floor and counters, drawing on my walls and furniture, coughing all over me and my space when sick, etc. Plus, I would like to foster a dog, or adopt, and the rescue will not let me because they don't adopt to people with young children. If our living spaces were separate, door and all, I would not need to worry about all of this stuff. Also, I find it very hard to sleep with babies crying, hard to work from home with kids running and playing in my space, etc.

I am looking for thoughts, ideas, input as I try to navigate.

Ideally they would win a million dollars and buy a place and move out. Or, I would win a million dollars and buy a place and move out and just let them stay here for a year. Sigh...

Good morning!

I managed to sleep for almost 8 hours last night! Although I was awakened 3x - once by hail, once by Dh getting up to go to the bathroom, and once because I needed to go to the bathroom. But lately I've only been managing close to 5 hours a night. And then I am really tired, but I can't sleep, and I'm too tired to accomplish anything with my time while I'm awake. Getting older is hard.

Lila, I can't believe it's been 16 months since they moved in! Time is flying! But for you, I'm sure the next year will be a long year.

If you divide the house, how will you manage the kitchen situation? What rooms are on the bottom floor and what rooms are on the main? I don't have a mental picture of your house. Is it two story? "One" with finished basement? Split level?

I think winning a million dollars would be the best option. 😉

Tatoulia, it is good to see you posting again. I hope your weekend gives you a sense of accomplishment.

I went to the rummage sale yesterday and it was disappointing. I spent 25 cents on an accounting notepad to record cash sales for my pottery. Not even going to count that as a thing since I was already using a spiral notebook and both will get used up (the spiral much faster now)

Today is graduation. So I will be attending that. I must also fire the kiln. And check a bunch of work we hung in the hallway while I am at school. My list of "and also" is very long. I won't get it all done. My days are still too full! Hopefully I will be able to make good use of the evening since I slept more.

Step 1 - get off the internet.

Hello everyone!

Posting is what got me out of this mess in the first place and will help me as I move forward with the next layers and next decisions.
Sleep is an issue, SubC. I hope you can get what you need.

Lila, remember I am not in this situation and my thoughts are just the pickings of my brain- no way of knowing what realistic. So, do NOT move your stuff upstairs. I think you need to do a major declutter. You cannot sell your house to anyone with this clutter. You can't. You need to find a way to make peace with living with less stuff. Find an online therapist and make peace with the idea of not having this stuff. I promise you that your life will be 100% better with less stuff. I cannot overemphasize this. You/we/all of us are being held hostage by memories and false attachments. We/you/all of us feel responsible for other people's futures (what if so and so has a baby and I need a gift, that would make a good project for this one or that one). Stop. That is interrupting today FOR YOU. I feel similar about hanging onto stuff with past attachments where they are ruining our today, but that can be harder.

I used to keep stuff and buy multiples because I wanted to be all things to all people. Some stranger needs scissor sharpeners? Good I bought two. Some coworker needs lightbulbs for a particular fixture? Here I am. Guess what? They can buy those things themselves at a place called a store. I do not need to STORE stuff because there are STORES.

When I was at my mom's trying to clear it out to give her better living space, she would have the most ridiculous stuff that was keeping her from having a good day today. I would call it de-sh!ting her house. Please, know that I am tough and direct but my number one suggestion is that you do not move your stuff upstairs.

Second, sell your place just sell it. If you want to buy a duplex and you live in one half and son lives in the other, fine. But sell your place. It's not doing anything for you than storing stuff. Start your new life.

Or sell your place and give your son the down payment. He needs to get realistic on his situation. He needs his own solutions.

Lastly, forgive me. I am advocating for YOU. I need YOU to be safe and comfortable.

Maybe this fires you up to fight against me and I'm good with that. Make your decisions from a place of passion and not defeat.

I love you dearly. So please forgive me.

Hoping I'm still welcome here. Please jnow I want the life you deserve, Lila, and I was being heavy-handed. Life isn't as simple as an outsider will make it out to be.

I got to the gym and I took my things to the drycleaner. I went through some of mom's papers. I will ask my sister this week if she wants mom's passports; otherwise, I will shred them. I even have I
Her international driver's license. I've made a good pile for the shredder and made a small bag of cards for goodwill. Greeting cards and other little lovely things

Meanwhile, I have my bag ready for the textile recycling and out a few more things into the cat shelter bag. Will take care of those tomorrow.

It is so humid here. I am praying that my AC will get me though another year. I am hoping to get it running tonight. This is not my weather at all and the ceiling fans are not enough.

I wish I could find my sunglasses. They are prescription and I haven't seen them in a week. I'm getting worried as it is a big expense to replace.

Tatoulia, I think it is always good to have different views and approaches. I hope Lila knows you well enough by now to know that anything you offer is meant to be helpful and kind, and that if it is not something that works for her she can just let it go by and you won't judge her. It may be helpful for someone else who comes across it.

From my point of view, you calling yourself heavy handed is amusing. My biokids call me "the truth troll". Yesterday I was at graduation pushing back on a kid who was trying to tell me he couldn't do something, when a voice behind me said "I miss that." I turned and it was the kid who described me as a velociraptor in his senior speech. I laughed and said "well, you can offer him some sympathy." And he said "oh no. I genuinely miss it. Next year you get my sisters."

I hope you find your sunglasses and I am glad you are making progress.

I have another full day today!

I would never judge any of us! I have been where you are and as you know, I am still where you are. The difference is, and this is big difference, is that I have no one. No kids etc that will want my things some day. So I have no one to share the memories and the import of objects. I love my things because of the tie to my grandparents or parents. But I don't have anyone coming up the line. And this has helped me immeasurably. And therefore my advice isn't going to fit everyone. I'm also older than you, so my time seems more fleeting at this point. Making these decisions comes with the hollow feeling of knowing that I am alone but I do want to be able to have enough space in this world for me. I

When I was trying to get my mother to let go of stuff, pre dementia, she wouldn't let me get rid of books, saying she was going to reread them. The print was too small and she had a kindle. And so I'd point out if she wanted to reread, we could get the book on the kindle. One day she said, no one can say I wasn't well read, and then it came into focus. She wanted to be known as smart and well read. Poor mom. Really broke my heart.

I don't know about the sunglasses. I am wondering where they are. I have a nagging feeling that I lost them. But I'll persevere. I have two more places to look, which I've been avoiding since I don't want to face the facts that I have lost them. But not having them makes it very hard for me to be outside. I wish the drugstores still had sunglasses so I could pick up a non prescription pair so I can walk around til I figure this out.

Tatoulia, I am so thankful for your opinions and everyone else's, because my view is clouded by emotions, grief, weird attachments, etc and I cannot see clearly. I would never think ill of you for trying to help me! I really appreciate you, dear friend. I wish all of us were neighbors and could sit down for tea or something.

SubC this goes for you as well! Thank you for caring enough to answer my call for guidance!

I think the advice is good to get rid of things instead of just moving them around. I also agree that the million dollars is the winning idea! LOL..

My house is split entry. So you come in and you can go up or down. Up is my level: living room, dining room (with the doom counter), smallish kitchen, then a hallway and my bedroom/master bathroom, the small "storage" bedroom which also has a crib for daytime use, and the small "play room" bedroom which has a bed in it and sometimes Tot will sleep in there (they are like 10 by 10 each). And a small bathroom in the hallway. There is a sliding door going out to a deck where you can go down to the back yard. (dogs areas)

Downstairs is a family room, with a sliding door to go straight out to the back yard, a hall closet, a laundry room, and two bedrooms. One bedroom is really big and TotsFam lives in it. The other bedroom is medium sized and youngest Son lives in it. It has a door going into the garage.

The kitchen is the big issue, but we thought maybe the downstairs family room (which is just storage and exercise equipment) could become a semi-kitchen for TotsFam by adding a table/chairs, a microwave, counter, taking the toaster oven down there. Maybe a hot plate. She could still come up and use the oven as needed... not ideal, but I can't think of a better solution. That family room has a tv mounted on the wall so if I move the exercise stuff into my sorting office downstairs, they could put a couch in and use half as a family room.

I think also they will need to install some kind of acoustic absorbing tiles on their bedroom ceiling so I can sleep.

Good morning!

Lila, my biggest concerns about your plan are that it involves the word "adding" as in adding furniture and appliances to make a second, less optimal kitchen. (Sink? Refrigeration?) And it sounds like you are trying to carve up space that is already tight.

I think maybe you could try first looking at why the kids are spending so much time in the upstairs living and dining areas. What is up there that is attractive to them? Why does the baby need a second upstairs crib for daytime? A baby monitor should cover that. I think I would continue to work on clearing out and moving things so that totsfamily can have a family room/playroom where the exercise equipment and storage are. If the toys/games/art materials are downstairs, the kids will be downstairs. If the kitchen table is kept cleared off, they can come up and do something there while mom fixes meals. Maybe a "snack station" could be installed in their family room.

The acoustic tile is the only thing I think I would add. A rug in your room might help too.

Also, I know you really want a dog, but I'm not sure a kitchenette and a door are going to qualify you as a separate residence.

I am not sure what my day looks like - I have put a hold on bean and buddy because I have to take Mr. Kitty to the vet this morning. He has an infected injury and is only drinking milk.

This really goes in the "decluttering your waistline" thread, but my weight is creeping up again because I am tired and too busy and making bad food choices.

I did work really hard yesterday to make progress on some overwhelming tasks that have been getting out of control. Only two actually got finished.

Last week of school. I can do this.

SubC, good thoughts. It helps me "talk it out" and figure out what is going on.

I believe they come upstairs because: there is a TV and couch up here and big living room they like to run around in. They like to eat in the living room, which is an issue with food in my couches, under tables, spilled everywhere. A tv/couch downstairs (on tile) could help that. They also come up because I have a playroom for them up here. I created it before they moved in, with "special" toys. If the special toys got moved downstairs they would likely get lost, destroyed, broken. I could let them have the toybox and some of the less-special toys in the downstairs and make this upstairs room off limits/my office.

They also come up to eat and to be near mom as she is cooking. However then they are unsupervised which is when they make big messes (I have had the talk several times about having them do play dough or coloring etc at the kitchen table while she cooks, which is what my kids did, but I suppose her family did things a different way (let the kids have play dough on the carpet and markers all over the house) so I have been unable to get dil to change (even with a craft cabinet right by the table, it did not change). When they did not live with me, I enforced those rules when they came over but I am not home and the rules go out the window regardless of what I say.

The more I consider all of this, and as I was talking to a friend about it today - she said, look, this is unmanageable and is not what you agreed to. They are there more than twice as long as agreed already, and looking at another year, maybe more. And adding children. She told me I should just tell my son that it is more than I agreed to and give him a deadline and say please move out by x date (either in 2 months, 3 months, before the end of summer, or before the next baby is born in fall) and let them figure it out. I would do this but do not want to ruin my relationship with them or make them feel unloved or like I am throwing them out. I do love them. I just feel like it is impossible to keep doing this for another year.

Please give me your honest thoughts, anyone. Son has a good job, he does not have money for a downpayment, he does have the downstairs of his house that he is working on but would have to ask my other son and his girlfriend to move out, which, see, makes me feel like I would be disrupting everyone. (Son and gf would not trade and live here because they have 3 dogs and a cat - I already asked). Is there a way to solve this, get my sanity back, and be good and kind to my son's family?

Happy Mother's Day to dear Lila and dear SubC!

I'm sorry you are so sad, Lila. It will pass. I love what SubC said, about more Springs to come.

I didn't do a lot today. Some laundry, went to the gym, went for a walk. Now it's coming near 1030 and I still haven't done the dishes today. In my defense, there is a sleeping cat cuddled up to me.

I need to get my clean but no one will want them things to the textile recycling. Think pj tops with no bottoms, the button up men's style.

I also have a few things to get to the tailor/drycleaner.

I am so happy at the Y. Really happy there. Plus I have decided to lose 30 lbs by November so I am feeling better and healthier. I have decided I can fly overseas at Christmas via business class if I succeed. I know that's terrible motivation but I need something. I do not want to be heavy when I see BF. And the bottom line is, I want to be healthier. I've done this in the past and I can do this again.

Still feeling like my house is chaotic but I have empty shelves in my closet. At the last minute I brought extra stuff to donate so that went well for me

I need to keep moving forward and I am so grateful for your friendship.

Lila I wish someone would give me 50 pieces of clothing! I'm glad you found ten that can work and I love Subc's suggestions! She's so good at this! I find your approach so helpful, SubC and will go through my closet and ask myself similar questions.

Good morning again!

The wedding was lovely! Everything about it was so very right for the bride, and my Dd (maid of honor) did a great job with the logistical bits that are the kind of thing the bride doesn't think about.

I got some things done in my pottery studio yesterday and feel pretty ready for today. The house is less bad. Dd flies home today. Dh is taking her to the airport after I leave for work.

Thanks Tatoulia!

It was a strange Mother's Day for me. I did not see or talk to any of my kids. I was just so exhausted from my week, I did not feel well. I didn't get up until 9:30, fought a migraine until around 4 pm, and did very little, just trying to manage things I am behind on. - planted some things in the garden, took care of some things in the barn, and threw a couple of pretty bad pots - I quit because I was just off.

Lila, I want to say, if things were easy, you would have done them already. But really, we can also build things up to be extra hard in our minds by thinking about them and dreading them ahead of time. When we invest a lot of mental and emotional energy and nothing has changed, the job starts to seem overwhelming and impossible. But if we can shift things just a little, without overthinking it, sometimes we can surprise ourselves and build momentum.

Don't think of it as needing to clean your bedroom, just think of it as needing to process the new clothes - maybe just one item a day. Or pledge that just today you will not put anything else on your floor, and you will try to clean up one thing.

Your bin paring system sounds good too. You are doing a good job getting rid of things! Just keep working on more out than in. You will see change eventually.

Good to hear the wedding was nice! I haven't been to a wedding in quite a while. I do enjoy a wedding.

I think some of the clutter is gifts that I got in London that haven't been distributed yet. And I have my sister's gifts from Switzerland as well. I'm packing up mom's china and that will make things easier.

I'm also not doing basic stuff. I received an email from someone about a check (for a decent amount) to make sure I received it and I just hadn't deposited it. Ditto I have a rent check from BF's place that is just hanging out. I'm not doing small stuff and I'm feeling really overwhelmed by it. This weekend all I wanted to do was sleep. I did rest most of Saturday before going to the museum and Sunday I had my friend's son's confirmation. And I'm behind on laundry because my WFH days are so busy with meetings.

So I'm just behind. Sister will be here Memorial Day weekend and so will get her many gifts then.

Today I took a bunch of clothes to fed extra to return them. I didn't even try them on til today, and I got them returned just at the 30 day mark. I don't feel depressed but I'm acting like I'm depressed.

Thank yoi for your support. I treasure these friendships.

I hope you are feeling better today, SubC. Sometimes after I've been sick like that I have a hangover' the next day.

Just got in from the office. Have changed into a bathrobe and will shower after I've had some seltzer.

Good morning!

The gifts probably feel overwhelming because they do not have a place to go.

My life remains full. Fortunately right now it is full of good things.

Classes went well yesterday, I stayed late at school to fire the kiln, work on a project for my classes today, and see the jr grades musical. The kids were great and the costume people outdid themselves! I watched one of my little ones (I think she's the youngest 1st grader we have) do a cartwheel across the stage in a turtle costume and questioned my plan to retire before she graduates. I just want to watch them all grow up..

Arrived home, checked on my goats, and the one I've been waiting on for weeks basically looked at me like "oh there you are. It's about time!" And produced four little boys. They started out a little weak, so I gave them a mineral supplement. It's always amazing to watch that work. She went into labor around 8, and by 11 they were all mostly dry and on their feet and I had dipped their navels for infection control and seen them eat their first meal. This morning they are starting to have personalities. The one who couldn't even pick his head up after he was born (3) was eating aggressively when I went out. 1, who was also very floppy, is more chill. 2 is still the sturdiest and the least interested in me because he got his first meal on his own, and 4 is annoyed because one of his knees is still bending backwards (it will straighten itself out in a few days) and his brothers keep knocking him over.

Baby goats are ready to be separated from their mother overnight at about two weeks. I was planning to separate these guys during the day the first time and take them to my Wednesday class, then return them and start the night separation on the weekend. They were literally born on the last possible day for me to be able to do that! (So they will be the smallest they can be when they go. The kids will love it!)

#1 is spotted and has a bandit mask. #2 is white and fuzzy with twisty ears. He is the smallest and the sturdiest. #3 is white and sleek. He is the longest and has the most "dairy" character and best ears. #4 is a very pale sand color and also extra fuzzy. Momma seems to like them all equally and is doing a good job.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, I think the being sick was my "hangover" from the week.

I had a very good day with Bean and Buddy yesterday. Buddy loved the baby goats. And I fired the kiln at school and milked the cows. Today I have some "class prep" to do before I leave.

It is our outdoor pit firing day so I need to fill the back of the truck with sticks (hopefully I can find sticks that are dry enough to burn) and I need to prepare a map for an epic battle in D&D. Hippos to glaze for our graduates (graduation is Saturday) "normal" teachers are probably grading about now?

I also need to write a letter for a parole hearing. Sometimes on bad days at school I look at my kids and I think "Please don't make me come to your funeral or write letters to the court on your behalf".

The student who had a baby at 15 is graduating on Saturday. She no longer looks completely exhausted all the time. And she now dresses like someone who wants a job that doesn't rely on tips from drunken men. So that's good. I didn't have anything to do with that, but it's nice to see.

I also need to milk the cows again. That's enough for today.

Good morning again!

The second goat had her babies - two boys and a girl. All healthy and strong. Two spotty, one (boy) black with white accents.

Nothing else to report - I am just continuing to try to keep up with my abundantly full life.

Today - cows, lesson plans, class prep, babysitting my boys (it's dsil's bday and he has afternoon plans) and my class.

Yay baby goats! That will be fun! (and work?)

Tatoulia, I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed with stuff. I know you know how to dig out quickly, as you have maintained a pretty good decluttery place from what I have read. You can do it!

I worked and volunteered at the shelter all week and I am tired. Today is my day off, and I am not going to the shelter today. There is a big adoption event this weekend, so I am going to volunteer for that instead.

I am trying to get into the decluttering, as my bedroom is like a thrift shop after an earthquake. Someone gave me a bag of NICE clothes and some of them fit me, so I am going to sort my clothes that I don't really like and donate them. Some are nearly new, so they will bless someone.

So far today I:
took out 4 trashes and put in new bags
pulled weeds outside and picked up branches
loaded and ran the dishwasher
hand washed some cookie sheets etc and put them away
picked up all the toys and stuff all over the living room
put a load of clothes in the wash

So, progress. DIL is overwhelmed with things so I end up needing to come home and clean and pick up after the grandkids, but I think she needs the help so I do it. Now that the basics are done (will still wipe counters, put dishes away, and wash towels), I can start working on the decluttering of my bedroom.

What are you all doing today?

Yay progress!

Do you think you can donate one item for each new item you keep, plus one?

Remind yourself that this is a sign of the abundance in your life. You do not have to save things you don't like or aren't using "in case". You have relationships and connections that will carry you through.

The small town that I have to drive through to get to the cows is having their community wide yard/garage sales this morning. It will be tempting to lose the whole morning there on my way home. Maybe I will roll a die and give myself a number of stops. Or maybe I will resist and come home to deal with my barn instead? I don't really need anything right now except everyday shoes, and those should probably be new. And I can easily list ten things I don't have enough time for that are a higher priority than shopping. But I love the treasure hunt so much!

Oh the sales sound so tempting, SubC. Good luck!

Thank you for the encouragement! I especially took note of Lila's reminder that I know how to get things done.

Last night and today I've been gathering and packing things up. I have mom's china that the woman at work wants. I have mom's china that is going to habitat for humanity and I have other nice things for habitat as well including some artwork and some Christmas things. Last,y, I have a bag for goodwill. So today will be a big day. I have a car at noon and a friend is meeting me. I have out the stuff into hallway so that mentally I can start to feel the weight being lifted. I have enough time to look for more stuff.

It's raining on and off today. Hoping for more off than on. My friend needs to buy a desk so we will be looking at habitat for humanity for her. That's how this day unfolded, I told her that we could go there. She doesn't like city driving so I'm happy to just get a car for the day. They are really gouging on the price since it is Mother's Day weekend and it is graduation time in Boston, the hotels that someone at work stays in are normally 300+ a night and this week it was $1400 a night so he worked from home all week instead of coming into the office. He lives out of state.

Ps hello to the goats!

Lol, hello from the goats.

I can't imagine paying $1,400 a night for a hotel room! That sounds like monthly rent or a mortgage payment!

I gave myself permission to stop three times, but then I stopped six. It was too tempting.

I bought a newer, nicer pack n play (the one we have is over 30 years old, the netting is starting to fray, and it doesn't have wheels to move it when it is set up) This one also has a bassinet level.

A plant stand, two colorful fabric hammocks, some switch plate covers to replace cracked ones, and a shoebox sized bin of odds and ends I bought for the caution tape so that bean could mark off his "construction site" in my garden, but will probably keep a few other things (metal file, roll of clear tape, some ribbon..). It was 50 cents for the whole thing, bin included. I also have a bunch of vases to take to the flower farming class teacher. Hopefully she will want them. The people gave them to me along with some empty egg cartons (which I need)

Not making much progress on getting out to the garden and barn. Mostly been chatting with Dh because we have barely seen each other all day.

SubC, I thought about that - donating one item for each item of clothing kept. I think it is a lofty goal for me, lol. But I will try. Yesterday I was able to put one clothing item in the donate box. That's a start! I also was given a large bag of books. A few of them I do want to read. I decided to donate most of them to the library, and only keep no more than 3. I will read and donate anything I don't expect to read again or use as a reference.

I am struggling to keep up with the cleaning after TotsFam. Everyone is busy and overwhelmed. I talked to TotsDad about it. He is going to try and help but he works full time. It is TotsMom's "job" so to speak but she is overwhelmed and still puking from pregnancy. I am doing the most basic things.

Part of me thinks to make anymore progress in my room, I have to get ruthless, turn my brain off and just start chucking things into donate bags and get them to the donation place immediately.

The more calm part of me says, keep sorting the totes from the garage, and moving "keep" items into the totes when they are empty or have more space from donating junk. I think that is something I could do more easily, while the Big Toss is something I would (or do) avoid.

I just need the time to do it.

This post took me 5 minutes. I will fold towels and sort clothes in my room, and then I will look through at at least one bin. Then I have to go volunteer at my event.

So, can we agree that before the person gave you the bag of nice clothes you had more clothes than you needed (even though some of them didn't fit/weren't something you really liked?)

If so, then getting rid of net one thing still leaves you with more clothes than you need. So first - anything that was given to you that does not fit isn't actually yours, it's just passing through your hands (why would someone give you clothes that don't fit, right?)

Anything that does fit, try to find a thing you like less well and "trade" it. When you are done, add something to the bag. When the bag of clothes leaves your house, you will be sharing and INCREASING the abundance of the original giver while leaving yourself in a better place.

I incorporated my plant stand into the plant jungle on my porch. It looks better with more levels. I am going to ask Dd for a rain check on our mothers day thrift trip tomorrow. I just want to stay home. I am tired.

The jeans I am wearing are too big and full of holes. I really need todo a major closet clean out. Two more weeks of school.

Lila, as you know, I'm Team Turn Off my Brain and Get Rid of Stuff. Luckily we have SubC who is more measured.

Got rid of all of my stuff today. A lot of driving due to traffic but done. Amazing. I feel a bit sad re mom's dishes but not too sad. They are going to loving homes, which is all we can ask for.

Going to allow myself to rest a bit.

SubC, that is certainly a better mindset about the clothes! I did sort them and there had to be no less than 50 items in there. I passed on about 40 of them and the remaining 10 are draped over chairs in my room, as "probably will keep but have no room in the closet" items. So yes, it would be wise to find 10 to pass on if I decide to keep all 10. I mist certainly have way more clothes than I need, especially considering I wear the same handful of things over and over. I will work on this.

Tatoulia, I did not yet turn my brain off, but I did sort out the teas. Someone gave me a bunch of boxes of teas. I have chosen 3 to toss (expired and not flavors many would enjoy) and will sort my remaining teas and cut it down more.

I got sidetracked and wasted a lot of time today. I watched the kids for a while, which I enjoy but was not in my plans. I went to the event which was not what I expected. I enjoyed part of it and was sad afterwards because of my own recent sad events. I came home and felt overwhelmed and ate and watched tv instead of doing anything. Now I feel like still doing that but also feel very sad I am not doing anything. I will just briefly say that I look outside at the greenery and nice weather and I just feel terribly sad, and cannot seem to enjoy it at all, since my pets are all gone, nothing feels the same anymore. If I go out there I just want to cry because I am lonely.

And with that, I will stop eating and watching tv and do something useful. Perhaps sort a tte or clothes.

Here is something to try Lila, go in your closet, chose something you don't usually wear, ask yourself "when would I wear this?" Then see if there is anything in your new pile you would wear instead - if so, the thing goes. You can use the same new thing to get rid of more than one old thing if there would be time to wash it. (If you can't come up with a "when would I wear this?" Or your answer is something like "I would wear this to tot's graduation party" get rid of the thing!) don't stop until you have enough empty hangers to hang up all the new things plus one. (Or until you can't stand it anymore. It is also ok to do one thing.)

You feel sad because sad things have happened. Grief is heavy and it takes time. I'm sorry that you can't enjoy the spring right now, but know that there will be other springs and just keep doing the things you need to do to heal your soul.

Did I know your ddil is pregnant? I have lost track of your grands. Bean is almost 5! And Buddy will turn 1 this fall and Birdy will be 2 at Christmas!

Thanks SubC, I will try that. Sometimes we have to talk ourselves into (or out of) things.

I don't think I had mentioned the new grand on the way as she is only like 3 months along. But this is number 5 and they are all very close in age. And live with me. Pretty soon I will be in a tent in the back yard! lol...

I came home from church and made myself a milkshake into which I blended a handful of whole coffee beans. I figured it might give me the energy I need to get moving. No luck yet but maybe I just need to force myself, as usual. I think I will go down and get a few totes in the garage and ask Son if he will move them into my office for sorting. Then I can consolidate, label, and return the filled (and fewer) totes to the garage. This is my strategy for getting enough room in the existing, filled totes to add "keep" items from my bedroom, so I can get the clutter out. I will donate along the way as well. I am at a mindblock on my bedroom but want to create a clear floor, as well as sorting and donating some clothes.

Why is everything so hard?

Hi everyone! I'm going to finish up work and head to the Y. Going to force myself back on track.

Good morning!

Hi Tatoulia! Have you been bringing more stuff in? I can't imagine that you are drowning. Funny how our perception changes though.

Good for you for getting your laundry done. And I'm glad you are enjoying your ymca membership.

I spent yesterday working in my studio and hanging out with my dd2. We sorted through her old Barbies and accessories. She found enough things she was ready to part with to get the little suitcase that holds the people into the bin that holds everything else. I'm not sure if that belongs in my tally yet, but it makes my basement slightly more organized.

In the studio I found a few more pots that could go and a bunch of packaging I need to take to school for end of year. I also wedged clay and I now have three empty clay buckets to take back to school. I'm not sure that is real progress, because there is a lot of clay at school waiting to be reworked. Currently my mixer is full of school clay that will be for next year. I need to work on getting the clay remixed and back to the kids earlier in the year next year. I have six buckets from 2023-2024 that I never processed! That is probably enough clay for a whole class.

Some gear punches I ordered for making steampunk pottery (my new interest) showed up in the mail yesterday. I'm going to short the tally thread out later..

Today, more pottery, more homecaring, more time with dd2, and a wedding.