Lila, you are tired from all those long work days! You need time to rest. That is what I did to myself last year, and it is not a good thing.

I picked up library books that were on hold and bought groceries on the way home after work today, but all I did when I got home was dump the groceries in the kitchen (they are all on-perishable.) eat, and do chores.

My house is a mess, but I'm heading to bed soon - early.

Tatoulia, good luck with your sister. I'm glad you have new old kitty.

Your kitty sounds so peaceful Tatoulia. I love it. We had a kitty for 19 years. She was a delight.

SubC I hope you get some rest.

I got the bottom sheet back on my bed. I'll finish making my bed shortly. I love sleeping in nice fresh sheets. My clothes are still in the wash, blanket in the dryer, so I have to get those finished as well.

I don't like being alone at night. I wish my kids were here. I wish I had a real husband.

post 2 -

I managed to
- mop the kitchen/dining room floor
- dump and wash out the litter box and put fresh litter in it
- put sheets in the dryer and blanket in the wash

I also answered emails and took care of a few things like that, made calls. I feel like I did a lot more.

The energy drink had no real effect. I wonder how I can be so tired from doing nothing. Just a bare mopping made me feel like I ran a marathon.

Lila, you did a lot! I think you are being too hard on yourself.

I saw mom. It was raining when I left and I did not have an umbrella. BF called me while I was leaving mom's and walking to the grocery store. It was really raining on my walk home. Hoooed in the shower and I am as good as new.

Going to work a little bit and then get back to everyone here. Kitty is asleep and very precious. I do love this old lady cat.

Managed to put in eight studio hours. Worked at a nice relaxed pace and accomplished far less than planned.

This is ok. I will get done what I get done.

I also did some laundry and picked some dried beans before it started raining today. And I did yoga.

Hi everyone! 8 studio hours is a lot! Glad you are reunited with a colleague/instructor for throwing pots.

Good week. Would have loved to have gone for dinner last night with some of our NY office but felt I needed to get home to my mom. I figure there will be plenty of times to go for dinner.

I am working from home today. Very backed up work wise. Also have my sister staying with me for two. Oh hrs next week which will be very hard on both of us.

Doing laundry. About to make breakfast.

Have to freshen up the bedding for the fold out It was last washed in August I still think washing it so it's perfectly fresh makes sense.

Need to reduce and get stuff to goodwill on Saturday. I'll need to focus tonight.

Sister staying for two nights. Won't be easy.

Garbage and recycling out. Friend coming Sunday to help with organizing. Did two loads of laundry today. Two more to go but someone else needed the washer.

hi friends! SubC, I loved your exchange with the teacher and your thoughts. lol... it is so weird to me when I run into someone from years ago.

Tatoulia, when Teen was younger, they often were sent home if they went to a friend's house. They did not understand the social rules, and people would just stop inviting them. This year I had a mom call me and tell me I need to teach Teen to clean up after themselves and not leave messes in her house! I said, "yes, I have done that, please go ahead and tell them to clean up their mess or not use your kitchen." I mean our kids are 18. I would not think of calling the mom of an 18 year old that I don't even know to tell them to clean up their mess. I would tell the 18 year old. But oh well.

Anyway things have been good as Teen is staying at another friend's mostly. I don't know the parents so they can't call me, lol. I do hope other adults will mention these things so Teen might learn it is not just me being critical. And I do want them to keep friends.

I worked three 11-12 hour days in a row so am very happy I have today off. I am baking cookies right now and drinking a Sbux coffee "energy drink", just half of one that I was given free to try. I hope it helps me get off my butt and do some things.

So far I:
- took trash out
- had Son put chairs out on the deck and vacuum so I can mop
- made an instacart order
- had Son take my laundry downstairs
- put sheets in the wash
- am about to eat cookies

The ghosts sound so cute, SubC. I would love to go to one of your sales a buy a pot from you! Maybe some day.

By the way I cleaned the cats box. I don't know why autocorrect said BIDMC, which is the hospital I go to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Maybe I need to make a dr appointment.

I'm terribly worried about mom and her cat. Despite having 50 cat food cans on the counter, mom fed the cat half a sandwich and some peanut butter yesterday. I'll be throwing out the peanut butter tmr. The sandwich was left over from mom's lunch.

Tonight I really am going to go to bed early. Conference next two days.

I took the big bags of vases up to the car so they are out of my house!! I then stopped by mom's and she was doing pretty well. She was down at dinner.

Her college student friend will feed the cat tmr night. I will be at a work event and my mother has been feeding the cat sandwiches that she gets from downstairs. I can't remember if I told you that. She knows to feed the cat and she worries and yet she doesn't see the 50+ cans of cat food right there on the counter.

I have to go do a little cleaning up here. I went to sleep and it was a very good nap.

Good morning!

I know that is frustrating about the cat Tatoulia.

Good job on the vases.

I got some things put in my shed yesterday and finally planted my garlic. Cleaned up a few things.

Dh and I are signed up for the show and I have a pacing plan for my work. It's ambitious and I need to not crash in the next few weeks. We'll see how it goes.

I have a very full day today. Teaching, there will be a fire drill which always wrecks pottery classes, packing up a student withdrawal (for health reasons unfortunately - I need to write a note), meeting with an administrator to go over some information that is important to her and I think could be an email. (Or a one page hard copy if you wanted to optimize it for me) and my new pottery class starts, so home late.

Right, gotta get moving!

That is a big and long day for you, SubC. Sending you energy and patience. I have a conference at work next two days and today's ends at 930. I don't like that. I'll have to gauge whether anyone is leaving early. But this cried will probably be just getting started and then they'll be all sorts of after parties. I'll try to find a sweet spot for an exit.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, I hope you made it home at a reasonable hour.

The fire drill was reasonably quick and efficient. I got the note written and packed up with the student's things. The meeting was a complete waste of time, but not as painful as I'd feared. I was given hard copy. The hard copy was read out loud to me. The hard copy included an entire page of statistics that are of no use to me at all which I guess my administrator thinks support her actions but it was like someone told me "there are two types of poisonous snakes in this state. So don't kick wild animals." Yeah, those things you want me to do? I am already doing them for better reasons.

They are going to replace the plate glass in my classroom door with plexiglass. I am happy about this. Not because I think someone is going to smash my classroom window with the butt of a gun - because kids throw things in the halls, and plate glass is dangerous.

My pottery class is going to be great! I had this teacher years ago, so I was expecting great. He asked how I'd been. I told him good, but I had been mostly handbuilding and lost a lot of throwing skill and I was hoping he wasn't going to think "I had a student who looked like you years ago, but she could throw." He's been working in production ware and he said "well, we're both rusty. I'm hoping you won't think ‘I took a class from a guy who looked like him one time, but that guy knew how to teach.'"

With the class and prep for my shows I'm going to try to put in about ten hours in the studio today. I slept late, so I better get moving.

Thank you both for your compassion and kind words about the broken things and Teen. It never ceases to be hard. But I do have hope that someday, things will be better.

Teen was gone for 3 days hanging out with friends, so I had a peaceful week. They just came home and seem in a good and calm mood. They plan to go to a concert with these friends this month as well. I am glad. One friend bought Teen a ticket. I think it is a good plan to not give anything that can be destroyed, for now. They mainly spend time with friends, and I hope at some point will have interest in a job or new hobby. I have had to let go of all the traditional dreams I had for them, like school and a job and driving and school dances, things like that. But I had those experiences with my other children and I am glad. Hopefully there will be some good times ahead. I love my kids, and keep trying to make things better.

Son came and took the floor lamp apart and put it and the stereo in the trash for me. He took the massive broken shelf out too. 603 down, 397 to go.

I'm so sorry about the situation with your teen. I wonder how they act at other people's houses?

I got the trash and recycling out, cleaned my little friend's BIDMC went to the vet today to pick up her medicine and I visited mom. Not a lot but something. I have to find time tomorrow to take the vases and other stuff to the car for donation.

Will shower and go to bed soon. I want to do about an hours worth of work then call it a night.

Good morning.

I had an ok day with a Bean yesterday. We played a lot and got out the Halloween decorations (and made a mess) and we got donuts for breakfast and made popcorn. But it was cold and damp and overcast all day, so it was hard to keep up with his energy level. And today I am tired.

I did find a few small things in the decoration box that I can part with. And I got our dining alcove all decorated, which I like.

Bean says he doesn't like my shed because it has a blue roof.

Today I will meet the woman who coordinates the local holiday market to give her my forms and a check. Dh (coffee) and I are going to participate this year - it's on Nov. 4. Then I have my big holiday sale on Nov 18&19. Then we go to my son's house for thanksgiving. Home, Christmas holidays, school evaluations, new baby. I feel like the next three months are super full! Good stuff, but full!

I have a lot of making to get ready for the sales. The good thing is that I can have a seconds/clearance bin at the Nov. 4 one, which I can't normally do because my other sales are more "upscale". This should help me clean out my studio a bit.

Right now I am just trying to find the energy to get moving!

Oh, I forgot to add that I found the glow in the dark ghosts that we like Easter eggs and came with matchbox cars in them - I bought them years ago on clearance and used them for a party when my kids were young. thought I had lost them. 19 of them are empty and 12 still have their cars. I don't know if Bean is ready for a ghost hunt in the dark this year, but one with a car in it in his pumpkin should be about right. He really likes ghosts right now. Another year when he is olde4 and braver I will fill them with treats and let him hunt them in a dark room.

Finding and using the things I have collected - score!

Oh Lila, I'm so sorry. I want to hug you. You are really brave, you know that?

I think you should throw the jewelry box out. I think you should throw all the broken things you can out and I think you should not buy things for teen anymore right now unless they are essentials, like food or underwear or a toothbrush. Even for gifts. If you want to gift teen something, gift an opportunity or experience. Don't gift anything that can be destroyed. But I don't think you should give up and assume this is forever.

That happy time when teen was excited about the things you got them? That isn't gone. You just aren't there right now. It's still 100% real. Broken things don't take that away.

How is teen spending their time these days?

I'm sorry your mom didn't know you, Tatoulia. That's sad, even though you are well prepared for it. I never had that experience with my parents, as they died young, but my grandma had dementia. She did know me but forgot a lot of other things. In my work now, some of what I do is spending time with the sick, dying, etc and there have been people I visit regularly who forget who I am and it is sad. But I still see their joy to have a visitor even though they think they are making a new friend every time I show up.

I opened the freezer and was looking for something to eat. I tend to take leftovers, put them in baggies and freeze them for later. But sometimes I don't write what it is or the date on the bag...(I am getting better about this). I sorted the door of the freezer which was overflowing with small portions of things, and I did have quite a few little bags of mystery food that looked old and frostbitten and I just tossed them. Also when bananas get too ripe I tend to throw them whole into the freezer, which works fine if you use them within a month or two, but when you keep doing it you end up with years-old, black, shriveled messes. So I threw out like 6 really old gross looking bananas too.

I do not count food items in my tally but I did toss a good amount of small baggies and wiped out the shelves and rearranged. It looks much better now and I see what is there to use. I found a baggie of breaded mushrooms that were not old, and put them in the air fryer for my lunch.

So, I am getting little things done here and there.

I have some bags of spinach I need to cook.

Tatoulia, I'm really sorry about your mom.

Dh step grandmother had dementia, and she forgot everyone but Dh grandfather. I sat with her one afternoon. She would fall asleep, and then wake up and not know where she was or who I was, but every time she would just look around and then look at me and demand "where's Jack?" I would say "he went for a walk. He'll be right back." And then she would settled down and say "oh. Okay." Sometimes she would start to tell me a story or ask me something triggered by something she saw in the room, but in a few minutes, she would drift back to sleep. And then in five minutes, or twenty, she would wake up and ask "where's Jack?"

You did a great job on the vases! And Lila, you are doing really well on the food!

Thanks SubC!

I managed to pull ten more items from the kitchen to donate, so I hit 600/1000 items gone from my house since February!

I have done little else but...ugh, watch tv, which I wasnt going to do... and eat, which I don't need to be doing either.

I did spend time sitting outside reading, which was nice.

And just now I went into the room downstairs where Teen had thrown things a month or two ago, and I started to clean it up. It is very emotional for me to go in there and that is why there was still broken stuff and shattered glass everywhere. So today I picked up the destroyed/mangled (expensive) stereo from the floor and its pieces/knobs that broke off. I picked up the broken, bent lamp stand and pieces that broke off. I picked up all the pieces and put them into the trash. I then swept up as much broken glass as I could get to, and more pieces of stuff, and screws that got thrown from a box, and put all of that into the trash. I moved a huge broken shelf as best I could and then decided to ask Son to help with that later. I picked up clothes off the floor, shook the glass out of them and put them in the laundry. I will ask son to help me take the lamp floor lamp apart so it will fit in the trash bin and have him take out the stereo to the bin because it is heavy. There is also a hole in the wall Teen made. And their large, wooden jewelry box (the kind with drawers like a little chest, and doors on the sides) that they threw and broke... I am torn about whether to try to fix it, because it is a painful painful thing for me to see it destroyed. They were so so excited to have that when I got it for them years ago. They treasured it and wanted to keep it forever. But now they don't care, and maybe it is too much trouble to fix and they wouldn't want it anyway. So I left that in pieces until I can decide what to do about it. I tend to want to just throw it out, but maybe I will ask them... no, actually that is dumb. They don't care about anything anymore.

So I got some things done.

Congratulations are in order! Wow! 600 things gone! I am so sorry for your pain over the jewelry box, Lila. If I could take the pain away from you, I would. I am so sorry.

Wonderful evening at the MFA. Walked there and back. I'm in my Jammie's but now I have to wash off the makeup. There's a cat sitting on me. This new companion is adorable. It's been eight months already! Not sure how that happened.

Goodnight my dear friends. Thanks for helping me with the vases today. I'll get them up to the car tmr for next week's goodwill run

Yay for saving money on parking, SubC!

Lila, I am excited that you threw out the expired canned goods and wish you'd throw out the ones that are only two years out of date. Seriously, don't do it. I'm glad you can get good goods at the good bank!!!

For all my noise above about expired food, I will take medicines totally out of date. So I'm truly inconsistent.
If I could even put on a 15 minute timer I'd feel better. I'm doing zero.

I also wish that Lila would throw out the expired canned goods, although I do realize that some things are marked with what is actually a "best by" date and are fine afterwards.

Lila, may I propose this - look up the substances in the cans and if they are safe to eat.

(My Dh also takes expired medicine. He says "look, it isn't going to kill me, it just might stop working. If it doesn't work I'll throw the rest out.")

Then, toss any that might not be safe to eat and number the other cans 1 (best) to whatever.

Let's say you can go to the foodbank once a month - this month, try to use can #1. At the end of the month, see if you have anything left over from the food bank. Count that many cans from the highest number and throw them out.

Willing to try it? How often can you go to the food bank? Here it is once a month for the prepacked nonperishable groceries and any week for bread and pastries and whatever fresh extras are out.

I finished canning the applesauce. Nothing broke. It took all morning instead of the 30 more minutes it would have taken because I had to clean up the kitchen, set up, and heat everything back to boiling from cold.

Tatoulia, clean up one thing, ok?

Good morning! SubC I love hearing about what you are doing, getting, etc. Really it is great that you are picking and choosing what you get, and getting quality stuff. I did laugh at the thought of you having a shed hoard... lol!

Hi Tatoulia! I feel so blessed to have what I need and for generous contributors to the food bank. I won't complain about my state of low income, because I do have a degree and could be working as a scientist if I wanted, but I have CHOSEN to work part-time (so I am available to my kids and grandkids, especially Teen who is high needs) and have chosen working in a field where I earn about 1/3 the hourly wage I would as a scientist... because I love my work. Yes, I also volunteer there a lot, because I love it. I have never found anything as fulfilling and meaningful as serving God as a career. I feel like I am finally doing what I was made for. So if I want more money I always have the choice to go back to science. But I prefer a rich life to a rich bank account.

I will wax poetic for just a moment, if you will allow me - even those who are not religious . There is a scripture in the Bible in Proverbs 30 that I pray: "Lord, give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

I kind of like that thought.

Anyway, this morning I stayed home, had coffee and a pumpkin oatmeal pancake that Teen made the other day, and watched church online. I noticed that someone spilled honey or something into the utensils drawer in the kitchen, so I took out the plastic organizer and put it in the sink and washed everything. It is drying and then will be put back clean. It is good that I did this - I threw out several items of trash, one old too-small chip clip, and donated 5 utensils I never use or duplicates!

This brought my Daily Tally to 590/1000. Only ten more to go to hit 600! Goal is 1000 items gone from my home in one year (by February).

Great bible quote, Lila. My mother was a scientist! I love how you are living your life and I support you. SubC that's a great way to look at the food. I am firmly rooted in my buy each day which I know is foolish but it is something I have been doing for decades.

I did about thirty minutes and I made two bags of vases to go to goodwill. BF used to send me flowers frequently. I even packed up the vase from the first time he send me flowers. Before we even dated he sent me flowers to my then-office.

I also packed up some little things to let go of. I'm really proud of myself. Not proud enough so let's say prouder.

I spent a lot of time this afternoon with mom. I've been watching it come my way and I finally happened. She did not know who I was today. It sort of faded in and out. I'm prepared so I am good with it.

I have more stuff to pack up to get rid of, but I did a bunch today and I am pleased. I struggled with a few items. I'm still struggling with a few more.

Hi I'm not caught up by any measure. Last night I finally tackled the box of my childhood Christmas stuff. I was able to get rid of at least half. I packaged up everything nicely and took it to Goodwill. I also packed up a two things from my bedroom, including a Wedgwood clock that I like but it is in a color-lavender- that I do not like. I bought it several years ago for three dollars. It's the only clock in my bedroom but since I don't like the color, off it went. I had to go to BF's house to take care of something for him and then I met a friend for thrifting and lunch. I had to find a tray table of sorts for mom since her dining room table lost a leg from the abuse it took from her wheelchair. The thing I found for her is adjustable in height and is on wheels. It should be a good choice for her. Then my friend took me to costco so that I could get juice and something else. So a pretty productive day. I have not visited mom nor have I taken the table to her.

I mainly stopped by here to tell you I tackled some Christmas stuff and got it out. Stay tuned for more progress! It feels so good to reduce.

Hope you are all well. I will read your posts tonight.

Good job, Tatoulia!! That's good progress. I'm glad to hear from you today.

I made myself some chai from scratch since I was in the spice cabinet and had everything I needed. It was delicious. I put honey in it and hemp milk I got at the food bank.

The soup also turned out good and I froze half.

I also made pasta salad for lunch. Son loves it too.

My goal is to use what we have, stop spending money, hit the food bank as necessary. I have a lot of bills to pay and I really cannot afford to buy much of anything.

I am keeping the kitchen nice and the counter/bar and table cleared off.

Lila, that's great that you are cooking! Yes on avoiding the fast food and take-out and using what you have at home!

I need to run to mom's now. A little late but I fell asleep. Hopefully she's still awake.

Good morning!

Lila, great job keeping things together! And the cooking is also great! I hope you get your day at home today. No pressure on the 4 hours, I just wasn't sure if that was a goal.

Tatoulia, I hope your mom was awake and you got a visit.

Dh and I ended up ordering two chairs to go by the woodstove, and he will take his chair that is there right now upstairs. We won't get them until maybe February because the guy has to make them.

I feel weird posting about all the spending I have been doing lately. I feel like I am bragging, but I just want to share my good things with you guys. (Like my shed and being able to buy good quality chairs from a fairly local guy who makes them). We usually live pretty frugally, our big spends are some mid priced restaurant dinners, symphony concerts, and trips to visit family. But Dh has been working huge amounts of overtime lately and we had a savings plan that would let us keep our lifestyle intact in retirement. Now Dh thinks he is going to work two years longer than we planned and he got promoted. He has decided that we should spend that extra money on things to make the house nicer and our lives easier. (I had already saved up for the shed over a couple of years)

He doesn't want to spend it on lifestyle changes because then we will have to cut back when he retires and we will miss it. So we still walked three extra blocks last night to our concert so we could park in the $5 lot instead of the $10 lot. And we ate at home before the concert because we already went out when my parents were here. And we're not getting tv or trash service or anything like that.

I have had times in my life when the water was shut off and when I had to ask the public health nurse how much the vaccine would cost to see if the baby got it at this visit or not because I needed bread and enough gas to get home. (I've gleaned and picked up at a food bank too) and there was a short stretch when I lived in my car. So I am aware that I am extremely lucky. And if I were the boss of the world water and essential health care would be free. Well, at least a base amount of water. I don't want to pay taxes so you can wash your car and water your lawn, but you should be able to drink, cook, and bathe.

I started to just delete all that because it's so off topic, but basically, if the shopping bothers you, let me know and I won't tell you about it, ok? It is kind of "in" stuff, but not really the kind that gets hoarded. (I definitely can't afford to hoard sheds, or furniture unless I get most of it off the curb.)