The unstuffing continues!

This morning I emptied and refilled the drying rack. I got enough stuff cleaned off of my counter - put in the recycling or put away properly - to bring almost all of the stuff that I had stuffed into my laundry room (which is just a wide hallway) out and put it on the counter - I think I might actually be able to clean the laundry room floor by tonight.

I went up into my bathroom and opened a cupboard that has towels, cleaning supplies, and personal care items - including a basket and a child's shoe box full of lotions and shampoos and soaps, mostly in tiny hotel bottles. The basket is about 1.5x the size of the shoebox. There were layers in the basket. I opened everything that wasn't sealed (almost everything) and sniffed it. If it was separated, discolored, dried up, or had a scent I didn't find pleasing (not tolerable, pleasing) I put it in a plastic grocery bag. When I was done, I put the basket - which now has one layer - back and took the EMPTY sturdy shoebox to the basement (I am making a pile of useful empty things in the basement until this job is done)

When I went to get feed and return some library books, I took the plastic bag and I threw it in a sidewalk garbage can. I did not try to wash out and recycle all the little tubes and bottles. I hearby give myself permission to rescue the next broken plastic toy I see on the curb and recycle it.

The unstuffing continues!

This morning I emptied and refilled the drying rack. I got enough stuff cleaned off of my counter - put in the recycling or put away properly - to bring almost all of the stuff that I had stuffed into my laundry room (which is just a wide hallway) out and put it on the counter - I think I might actually be able to clean the laundry room floor by tonight.

I went up into my bathroom and opened a cupboard that has towels, cleaning supplies, and personal care items - including a basket and a child's shoe box full of lotions and shampoos and soaps, mostly in tiny hotel bottles. The basket is about 1.5x the size of the shoebox. There were layers in the basket. I opened everything that wasn't sealed (almost everything) and sniffed it. If it was separated, discolored, dried up, or had a scent I didn't find pleasing (not tolerable, pleasing) I put it in a plastic grocery bag. When I was done, I put the basket - which now has one layer - back and took the EMPTY sturdy shoebox to the basement (I am making a pile of useful empty things in the basement until this job is done)

When I went to get feed and return some library books, I took the plastic bag and I threw it in a sidewalk garbage can. I did not try to wash out and recycle all the little tubes and bottles. I hearby give myself permission to rescue the next broken plastic toy I see on the curb and recycle it.

GREAT work, SubC! Wow!

I made my bed, showered, put away juices and waters and cat food, have a big recycling pile ready, and opened one box that BF brought here. I just washed and hung my linen dresses. Now I'm going to BF's house.

I tried in the winter boots I was going to donate and they fit so I will keep them one more season and if I do not wear them next winter off they go.

GREAT work, SubC! Wow!

I made my bed, showered, put away juices and waters and cat food, have a big recycling pile ready, and opened one box that BF brought here. I just washed and hung my linen dresses. Now I'm going to BF's house.

I tried in the winter boots I was going to donate and they fit so I will keep them one more season and if I do not wear them next winter off they go.

Thanks Tatoulia!

Dh is pretty pleased. The floor has been swept, but not scrubbed. It's good enough.

There's a load of laundry in the washer and a load in the dryer and none in the dirty basket. All the clean is put away.

I'm tired and discouraged again and struggling to not eat sugar and carbs. I know it will be better tomorrow, but I'm just worn out right now. And my knees hurt. And I'm tired of my knees hurting.

I did my work thing this morning - forgot to tell everyone. I found a couple of small things for the donation bag.

I need to go unload the feed. I bought six bags of feed. Part of me wants to wash six empty feed bags for reuse or recycling so that I feel like nothing got worse today - only better. The rest of me says "pass." We'll see. Resting on the couch for a bit.

Thanks Tatoulia!

Dh is pretty pleased. The floor has been swept, but not scrubbed. It's good enough.

There's a load of laundry in the washer and a load in the dryer and none in the dirty basket. All the clean is put away.

I'm tired and discouraged again and struggling to not eat sugar and carbs. I know it will be better tomorrow, but I'm just worn out right now. And my knees hurt. And I'm tired of my knees hurting.

I did my work thing this morning - forgot to tell everyone. I found a couple of small things for the donation bag.

I need to go unload the feed. I bought six bags of feed. Part of me wants to wash six empty feed bags for reuse or recycling so that I feel like nothing got worse today - only better. The rest of me says "pass." We'll see. Resting on the couch for a bit.

Ok. I did my chores.
I put the Feed away.
I washed 7 feed bags (they are hanging on the clothes line)
All the laundry is either dry or hanging.

All I have to do before I go to bed is set up the coffee.

It has been a full day.

Ok. I did my chores.
I put the Feed away.
I washed 7 feed bags (they are hanging on the clothes line)
All the laundry is either dry or hanging.

All I have to do before I go to bed is set up the coffee.

It has been a full day.

Wow, SubC, you did a LOT! And it made me smile that you did the old lotions, etc, which I did recently too. There is something satisfying about being free from the old, separated stuff. Tatoulia, you too are doing a wonderful job. And spending some nice time with BF too.

I worked my brains out and now I have this evening to chill a bit. I've been just cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and trying to be thankful they are there and eating.

Tomorrow I work and then have Tot for a few hours. I think I will take her to get some watermelon and corn at the farm stand. She will like that, and they have homemade ice cream too. Sounds like just the thing for a grandma/Tot day.

Good morning!

Took a quick walk down to the basement this morning to reenvision it again. I am hopeful again about setting up areas for Bean and the littles who follow. I'm getting down to it on some of the mess in the space I'm working on. I think I may have to bring the ginormous pile from another spot over to the carpet in order to move some of the items to the area where they are piled, then sort out the new mess before I can start rearranging and setting up.

Meanwhile, the drying rack holds 12-20 pieces of packaging, which take about 24 hours to dry, so if I fill it every day, I probably won't have it all done by the 5th, but I will have made a very large dent.

I absolutely must do my work for school today! And get feed. I'm out of layer pellets.

Back later.

I like the thought of rinsing the recycling. It's mindless and doesn't require decisions. I'm going to make a bag for goodwill. Stay tuned.

I like the thought of rinsing the recycling. It's mindless and doesn't require decisions. I'm going to make a bag for goodwill. Stay tuned.

Rinsing the recycling is an accomplishment, SubC! If you have to, just do a few at a time. Rain always makes me tired. Tatoulia, it's good you have things to do and people in your life.

I have a big project/event today that I am directing and I am already tired thinking about it, but I went to bed early and let myself get up late so I will be as perky as possible. I'll be meeting many new contacts for work today and hope to be someone they want to stay in contact with.

I will be work work working from this afternoon until Friday. Another big project/event on Thurs that I am in charge of, and I am trying to take Fri/Sat off. Newest grandbaby will be born anytime in the next 2 weeks, probably, so I need to declutter and prepare the main living area and Tot's guest/play room because I will have Tot and Acorn for a couple days, most likely. I am excited but hope the new baby delays until next week!

One thing - last night as I was once again cleaning up after Teen's mess in the kitchen, I was very exasperated and told them it made me upset that I clean the kitchen, then leave for work or go to bed, and when I come back it is a mess again. They said to me, "your whole house is a **ing mess, so I don't know why it matters."

That hurt, and I don't feel like my whole house is a mess, well, not as bad as it was, and they won't help me... but it hurt. They simply refuse to clean up their messes. Even if I leave it for a week they don't help. Which is why half the kitchen is locked in my bedroom. I put two frying pans in there this morning that Teen dirtied and I washed. It is frustrating. But I try to be supportive and help them and encourage. Nothing changes though.

Rinsing the recycling is an accomplishment, SubC! If you have to, just do a few at a time. Rain always makes me tired. Tatoulia, it's good you have things to do and people in your life.

I have a big project/event today that I am directing and I am already tired thinking about it, but I went to bed early and let myself get up late so I will be as perky as possible. I'll be meeting many new contacts for work today and hope to be someone they want to stay in contact with.

I will be work work working from this afternoon until Friday. Another big project/event on Thurs that I am in charge of, and I am trying to take Fri/Sat off. Newest grandbaby will be born anytime in the next 2 weeks, probably, so I need to declutter and prepare the main living area and Tot's guest/play room because I will have Tot and Acorn for a couple days, most likely. I am excited but hope the new baby delays until next week!

One thing - last night as I was once again cleaning up after Teen's mess in the kitchen, I was very exasperated and told them it made me upset that I clean the kitchen, then leave for work or go to bed, and when I come back it is a mess again. They said to me, "your whole house is a **ing mess, so I don't know why it matters."

That hurt, and I don't feel like my whole house is a mess, well, not as bad as it was, and they won't help me... but it hurt. They simply refuse to clean up their messes. Even if I leave it for a week they don't help. Which is why half the kitchen is locked in my bedroom. I put two frying pans in there this morning that Teen dirtied and I washed. It is frustrating. But I try to be supportive and help them and encourage. Nothing changes though.

Lila, I'm sorry teen's words were so mean!

We know how hard you are trying, and I believe that it is better. If this is all teen has known their whole life (those pictures) then it is going to take a lot of time and change for them to see things differently.

Unfortunately you are just going to have to figure out your primary goal for teen in the kitchen and work around that. (It sounds like the ability to prepare their own food trumps cleanliness)

Meanwhile, I hope you can keep working on turning your room into an oasis. And I don't see any problem with adding locks to some other doors if that's an option so your room doesn't have to be a storage room.

When I got rid of my old dishwasher, I kept the bottom rack. It fits the new dishwasher and has a configuration that sometimes works better. Right now it is on the counter serving as a (full) recycling drying rack. Every time I clear a little bit of space on the counter, I go get something else that has been stashed or stuff and put it in that space. I think this is going to work remarkable well. The counter may be the last thing I clear.

I have a really good friend who lives hours away and I haven't seen her in some time. I have two largish items in my basement that belong to her. This morning i called her and asked her about them. She told me to just get rid of one of them, but super exciting - she is going to come visit me next week and take the other one with her!

And, she is the kind of friend I don't have to apologize about the counter to. Actually, I think I am done apologizing about the counter. Apologizing, clearing off in a hurry, explaining.. Well, maybe I'll explain. "Yes. It's a godawful mess isn't it. It's part of my recovery program. Shall we visit in here while I work on it, or would you prefer to go in the other room?"

Ok, Bean has probably fifteen more minutes of nap. Off to make the most of it.

Lila, I'm sorry teen's words were so mean!

We know how hard you are trying, and I believe that it is better. If this is all teen has known their whole life (those pictures) then it is going to take a lot of time and change for them to see things differently.

Unfortunately you are just going to have to figure out your primary goal for teen in the kitchen and work around that. (It sounds like the ability to prepare their own food trumps cleanliness)

Meanwhile, I hope you can keep working on turning your room into an oasis. And I don't see any problem with adding locks to some other doors if that's an option so your room doesn't have to be a storage room.

When I got rid of my old dishwasher, I kept the bottom rack. It fits the new dishwasher and has a configuration that sometimes works better. Right now it is on the counter serving as a (full) recycling drying rack. Every time I clear a little bit of space on the counter, I go get something else that has been stashed or stuff and put it in that space. I think this is going to work remarkable well. The counter may be the last thing I clear.

I have a really good friend who lives hours away and I haven't seen her in some time. I have two largish items in my basement that belong to her. This morning i called her and asked her about them. She told me to just get rid of one of them, but super exciting - she is going to come visit me next week and take the other one with her!

And, she is the kind of friend I don't have to apologize about the counter to. Actually, I think I am done apologizing about the counter. Apologizing, clearing off in a hurry, explaining.. Well, maybe I'll explain. "Yes. It's a godawful mess isn't it. It's part of my recovery program. Shall we visit in here while I work on it, or would you prefer to go in the other room?"

Ok, Bean has probably fifteen more minutes of nap. Off to make the most of it.

Ending the day here.

I didn't bring anything in but my grandson and a library book. The grandson has gone home.

I did drop what I had to donate (two large shopping bags full and a wine rack) when I returned him.

I did the soap making stuff. I cut it to one box from two, although the one box is more tightly packed, and some of the contents have been put aside as possible pottery molds. The second box was on the floor, so that is away.

Lila, I forgot to say I am excited for your grandbaby!

Ending the day here.

I didn't bring anything in but my grandson and a library book. The grandson has gone home.

I did drop what I had to donate (two large shopping bags full and a wine rack) when I returned him.

I did the soap making stuff. I cut it to one box from two, although the one box is more tightly packed, and some of the contents have been put aside as possible pottery molds. The second box was on the floor, so that is away.

Lila, I forgot to say I am excited for your grandbaby!

Hi ladies. I read your posts. I'm sorry, Lila. You are working toward a cleaner house and I know you've made a measurable difference. Im excited about new baby!

SubC that is great news about your friend! Yay for a visit and yay to get her things out of your house.

My house is becoming overrun with stuff. I brought a bunch of stuff from BFs today. I went into his place and was fine. I didn't cry. It looks beautiful. There's no furniture left other than an air mattress he purchased for this interim period. He's painted and has a new floor in the kitchen. It looks so nice. I was afraid I'd cry but I didn't. It looks terrific.

We drove home in separate cars since mine was back up at his place. Then we visited mom then went for Thai food. We are using up various gift certificates.

We picked up my prescription and I bought and ate a banana to counteract the sodium in the Thai food. Not entirely sure if that works. But I think it does.

We picked up juices for me at one of those warehouse clubs since he is a member.

I cleaned kitty's box and I'm running the dishwasher. For about two weeks, I wasn't taking care of the dishes at night. I'm back in the swing of things.

I have the garbage out but not all of the recycling. Luckily, I can put the recycling out at any time so it's not imperative like the garbage.

Hi ladies. I read your posts. I'm sorry, Lila. You are working toward a cleaner house and I know you've made a measurable difference. Im excited about new baby!

SubC that is great news about your friend! Yay for a visit and yay to get her things out of your house.

My house is becoming overrun with stuff. I brought a bunch of stuff from BFs today. I went into his place and was fine. I didn't cry. It looks beautiful. There's no furniture left other than an air mattress he purchased for this interim period. He's painted and has a new floor in the kitchen. It looks so nice. I was afraid I'd cry but I didn't. It looks terrific.

We drove home in separate cars since mine was back up at his place. Then we visited mom then went for Thai food. We are using up various gift certificates.

We picked up my prescription and I bought and ate a banana to counteract the sodium in the Thai food. Not entirely sure if that works. But I think it does.

We picked up juices for me at one of those warehouse clubs since he is a member.

I cleaned kitty's box and I'm running the dishwasher. For about two weeks, I wasn't taking care of the dishes at night. I'm back in the swing of things.

I have the garbage out but not all of the recycling. Luckily, I can put the recycling out at any time so it's not imperative like the garbage.

this interruption to the SubC show is brought to you by Lila!

It is interesting, SubC.I relate to what you said. And I too get in a mood to pull everything out and deal with it, but I would have to take a month off work to do it that way. I did a mini-pull with all the dog drawers and bins. It felt good. Even though it was hard. I need to drop off the bag to the lady I am giving the things to, today. And I relate to the keeping things inside thing, because I used to binge eat to cope with my feelings. I got pretty heavy doing that. I am still overweight but about 50 pounds lighter as I have learned not to binge eat to cope.

Today I worked. I should be working now. I need to go to an event at work in about 3 hours.

I unloaded the dishwasher and wiped down the counters and stove.

Will check in later.

Yay for the Lila halftime show!

Dd was impressed with the progress on the basement when they came over tonight. Dsil, who really understands how hard it is was a bit blown away. He came down unexpectedly while dd and I were there and hearing him voice his astonishment was really gratifying. He said "oh wow!" Followed by "there's a carpet down here?! This is great!"

Unfortunately dd was in the basement because she was bringing back another "baby box" of Bean's outgrown things for the "baby library". They have very little storage space and I agreed years ago to keep a rotating stock of things for the kids to pass around until their little ones all outgrew them. Hopefully some of the stuff will find it's way to Wisconsin in November or January.

Yay for the Lila halftime show!

Dd was impressed with the progress on the basement when they came over tonight. Dsil, who really understands how hard it is was a bit blown away. He came down unexpectedly while dd and I were there and hearing him voice his astonishment was really gratifying. He said "oh wow!" Followed by "there's a carpet down here?! This is great!"

Unfortunately dd was in the basement because she was bringing back another "baby box" of Bean's outgrown things for the "baby library". They have very little storage space and I agreed years ago to keep a rotating stock of things for the kids to pass around until their little ones all outgrew them. Hopefully some of the stuff will find it's way to Wisconsin in November or January.

Late night edition brought to you by Tatoulia.

We had a very good time at our friends' house last night. Food was terrific and I brought s'mores fixings and we sat around the fire pit. BF got in a quick game of basketball with the kids and then we did a quick dance to a video we enjoy. I because momentarily tearful but pulled it together. It was a beautiful ride home. Country roads and so cool. Truly a lovely night. They had slipped a card into my purse and I finally had the fortitude to open it this AM.

My girlfriend came I've today. We played with the cat then walked down to my favorite hotel and we had brunch. I kept it together pretty well.

I came home, napped, then visited mom. I took my recycling out.

I'll make a list for tmr. I just had a bagel.

I laundered my unmentionables tonight and they are hanging.

I'm showered and have tmr off. Bf and I will get together in the afternoon or earlier. My car is back up at his place so I'll have to bring it home.

I'm making a bag for goodwill. I also have to take something to the post office and I need to get my script from CVS.

I'm doing okay for now. Will go to the museum alone Friday night. I'll feel better if I keep that routine.

Good morning!

Welcome to "coffee with subc"

I went down in the basement this morning and made a couple of decisions while I was feeling fresh and strong.

I'm starting to feel pretty overwhelmed by the scope of the remaining mess though. Soap making is supposed to be my next category to purge and I couldn't even get it out. Then I looked at beads and despaired. I think I'm on the downswing.

And it's supposed to rain all day today. And I don't get Bean until 11.

I'm trying to tell myself - even on a bad day I can rinse some recycling, right? I've got a couple hundred plastic food packaging items that need to be rinsed for recycling - ideally before august 5. (Honestly, most of them probably don't need to be rinsed. The contents were dry. That is one of the things I need to work through.)

Here is a good thing- Mr kitty's cereal now comes in polypropylene bags instead of multilayer paper and plastic which means I can now recycle them (those do need to be washed out)

I may use those for sorting some of the recycling instead of feed bags - they are smaller. I can still recycle the feed bags.

Tatoulia, I am glad you have people taking care of you. I'm looking forward to hearing about the museum.

Late night edition brought to you by Tatoulia.

We had a very good time at our friends' house last night. Food was terrific and I brought s'mores fixings and we sat around the fire pit. BF got in a quick game of basketball with the kids and then we did a quick dance to a video we enjoy. I because momentarily tearful but pulled it together. It was a beautiful ride home. Country roads and so cool. Truly a lovely night. They had slipped a card into my purse and I finally had the fortitude to open it this AM.

My girlfriend came I've today. We played with the cat then walked down to my favorite hotel and we had brunch. I kept it together pretty well.

I came home, napped, then visited mom. I took my recycling out.

I'll make a list for tmr. I just had a bagel.

I laundered my unmentionables tonight and they are hanging.

I'm showered and have tmr off. Bf and I will get together in the afternoon or earlier. My car is back up at his place so I'll have to bring it home.

I'm making a bag for goodwill. I also have to take something to the post office and I need to get my script from CVS.

I'm doing okay for now. Will go to the museum alone Friday night. I'll feel better if I keep that routine.

Good morning.

Dh has gone to play golf.

The candle making supplies are piled at one side of the carpet zone.

The scullery cabinets are empty. - Counter is a piled up disaster, but the cabinets are empty. A few months ago the counter was a piled up disaster and the cabinets were full. So this is progress.

I am realizing that the stuffing and stashing behavior is really unhealthy. It's the hoarder equivalent of stuffing your feelings and emotions down instead of dealing with them or making changes in your life and relationships.. Because basically that's what this stuff is. Bad feelings, delayed decisions, poor coping skills, disfunctional relationships, unrealistic expectations...

It's better to be messy on the surface and keep working on it than to stuff it away for later and let the stress keep building up until eventually later can't be put off anymore and it all hits you like a (possibly literal) avalanche.

At this moment, I kind of want to go through every room in my house, take everything out and pile it in the middle of the floor, deep clean the closets and cupboards and shelves and drawers and then put back neatly only the things I actually use and need and love. I can't actually do that yet, but it's a pretty cool fantasy.

It has been sunny lately. I have been outside a lot. Sometimes the boarder-line mania is harder to handle than the low grade depression. You can't just sleep and watch videos until it goes away.

Must be time to run the subc show again.

I finished the candle making stuff. Like the Christmas stuff - not as nice as I would like, but contained and confined to its allotted space.

Quite a bit of it was on the floor when I started, so definitely a good day's work. I vacuumed the carpet again as well. I have to do that after every project because I stir up the dirt in the basement and track things around.

I am setting myself what I think is a reasonable goal to get the floor in this part of the basement cleared off by the end of October.

Bean's family will be here in about an hour, so I need to go pick kholrabi.

Must be time to run the subc show again.

I finished the candle making stuff. Like the Christmas stuff - not as nice as I would like, but contained and confined to its allotted space.

Quite a bit of it was on the floor when I started, so definitely a good day's work. I vacuumed the carpet again as well. I have to do that after every project because I stir up the dirt in the basement and track things around.

I am setting myself what I think is a reasonable goal to get the floor in this part of the basement cleared off by the end of October.

Bean's family will be here in about an hour, so I need to go pick kholrabi.

this interruption to the SubC show is brought to you by Lila!

It is interesting, SubC.I relate to what you said. And I too get in a mood to pull everything out and deal with it, but I would have to take a month off work to do it that way. I did a mini-pull with all the dog drawers and bins. It felt good. Even though it was hard. I need to drop off the bag to the lady I am giving the things to, today. And I relate to the keeping things inside thing, because I used to binge eat to cope with my feelings. I got pretty heavy doing that. I am still overweight but about 50 pounds lighter as I have learned not to binge eat to cope.

Today I worked. I should be working now. I need to go to an event at work in about 3 hours.

I unloaded the dishwasher and wiped down the counters and stove.

Will check in later.