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Where to start?
Jodie
Posted: 06 June 2014 - 04:47 AM
 

My daughter has bipolar, and i don't know if that's related, but she's had issues since very young. We've worked with her throughout the years, but it's at an all time high. She goes through these manias where, at night, she thinks she's cleaning. The next morning, we wake up to find that a hurricane has come into our home.
I came up with my own plan of a system, so we could deal specifically with her things, but problem is staying motivated -- and even clear-headed -- when in her room. Heck, my husband brought in a case of paper towels yesterday, and we honestly didn't know where to put them.
I know we can do this, but what i don't know how to do is make myself stay in there with her. I'll end up leaving her in there alone five minutes after we start, and she doesn't know what to do; it all looks the same to her. She thinks it's important, whether it's an unmatched doll shoe, a pencil that's never been sharpened but is missing its eraser, or an American Girl Doll. I've got a counselor who's agreed to meet with her once or twice per week on the issue, but until I can get in here to keep us motivated, it's just a daydream.
Please tell me how to stay in the room and stay focused in the midst of clutter. I realized years ago that, for me, a cluttered room equals a cluttered mind, and I don't know how to handle it.

 

Replies (3)

Mar
Posted: 14 June 2014 - 05:40 PM
 

Welcome Jodie,
Here is the thread "Bipolar and Hoarding".

 
whew!
Posted: 13 June 2014 - 08:50 AM
 

Hi Jodie,

You've come to the right place for peace of mind and clarity.
I would say the first thing is to breathe deeply (in fresh air)....cliche for sure, but oh so true. Sometimes as we look at the problems, we seem to forgot our own sense of self.

Maybe set a timer and put on some fun music...probably more cliches. But it really helps to have a time limit on how much cleaning/sorting/misery we have to do at a time. Especially in what seems a "never-ending" task.

It's wonderful that she's seeing a counselor...I'm hoping you are too. I'm learning that sometimes, maybe even often, when we're dealing with someone with a mental illness and/or addictions, we need help, too.

I wonder if you could enlist a friend to help during this intense cleanup phase? It's very hard to find someone who isn't swamped with their own lives, yet maybe there is someone who could spend some time at your home with you and your daughter?

Keep coming back to this message board for inspiration....and don't forget to take care of yourself in this process. (And yet another cliche...that is VERY important!)

Warm thoughts to you and your family.

 
Anonymous
Posted: 07 June 2014 - 08:22 AM
 

Dear Jodie,
It is hard to tell from your post whether your daughter is 10 or 30.
Please scroll down in the "Welcome to the new board!" section to "Bipolar and Hoarding". This may help you understand some of the thoughts that are going through your daughter's head.
The best strategy we have found is to have three bins: Keep and put away, Throw away, Give away. Set a timer for 15 minutes. Pick a section of the room and begin. When the timer goes off, stop, leave the room and do something you both enjoy.
Books like "Buried in Treasures" and "Digging Out" or the "Hoard No More Rescue Kit" can help you understand the pitfalls and develop strategies. They will also teach you how to help your daughter effectively.

 
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