Good luck!

Also, I would like to point out that you actually have enough space on your cabinet to put something that was taking up three feet of floor space! Wow!

I am revisiting the new year goal thing.

I've decided that along with getting my house to the point where I can pick it up for the holidays (just the picking up part, not the cleaning and decorating) in less than one day, I am going to try to start 50 good habits. About One a week. That sounds daunting, but they do not have to be big things or daily.

So my first two are going to be yoga 3x a week (because Dh and i have stopped doing it and he wants to start again) and "daily reflection" where I will set aside some time to journal, review/plan my day, and keep track of my goals. What exactly happens in "daily reflection" will probably evolve.

part 3- because typing it out helps me

I went back in my room and looked at the high pile by the closet. There is a box there from when we got Ring cameras. In the box was just a manual, some wires and screws. So I put those in a ziplock bag and put that in the tub of tools/screws etc, and threw out that box. Also consolidated 2 boxes of dog items and threw out another small box. Found 2 empty wrapping paper rolls and threw those out.

Then I got into my refrigerator and cleaned out any old foods from the first two shelves. I took the berries that were about to get too old, washed and sliced them and put them in the freezer. I will do the bottom shelf later.

I am going to have my son move the record player from my room to the living room cabinet - wish me luck!

Thanks SubC, that looks easy and doable.

So... I looked it up. The record player is 28 pounds. I emailed the cabinet company with the model # (I used google lens to find out what cabinet it is) and they wrote me right back, and said the top of the cabinet has a weight limit of 50 pounds. So it is fine and the player can go on the cabinet. I feel slightly better. When my son has time later I will ask him to help me get it onto the cabinet and set it up.

I am NOT pressuring myself to do any recording or listen to anything until I feel ready.

BUT - how weird will it be to have a space about 3 feet wide on my floor where this has sat for 2 years??

Lila,

That is a really big thing. Even opening the box is a big step. You may need to approach it in stages a little at a time. You are doing a really good job.

The pizza recipe is:

2T yeast in 1.5 c warm water
Add 3c flour and a pinch of salt. Stir together and knead on a floured surface for 2 minutes. Oil a bowl and let the dough rise in it for two hours.

You can flatten it out on your pizza stone as if it were play dough - no need for a rolling pin. Bake at 500F for ten minutes and then top and return to oven until cheese is melted/toasted as you like.

part 2 -

omg I am having an emotional meltdown so taking a break!! I went back in my room. Was going fine - found a big piece of cardboard to get rid of. Opened a plastic storage bag of blankets that has been in the middle of the floor for months, found some sheets I hate (donated), folded and put blankets back in, added one more blanket that was laying around. Put it back in the closet and put 2 other blankets in the guest room closet.

Then I "noticed" the huge box that has been in the middle of my bedroom for... literally over 2 years, sealed. It is a turntable that plays records and also can record to CD. I have never opened it. So I thought, Oh! I can put it on the big empty space on the cabinet in the living room! Then I can listen to my grandparents' records that I have never been able to listen to. They are from the 20's, 30's and 40's! I have a whole box of them! So I opened the big box and suddenly felt completely overwhelmed... very emotional and stressed. I got out the manual on top and flipped through it and put it back and sat down and stared at the box. I did not take anything else out of the box. My feelings/thoughts:

I don't know how to put this together. I don't know how to use it. My son can help me figure out how to hook up all the wires. But where can I plug it in? What connections does it need? How am I going to make this work? Does it even have speakers built in? I think so. Will the cabinet even hold this much weight? Is it too heavy for the cabinet? Will the dog knock into it and break it, or get tangled in the wires? Will we be able to hear it in the corner where it is? Are my grandparents' records dirty? Should I clean them? Will they ruin the turntable if they are dirty/dusty? What record would I play first? What if I don't like it? This thing can record cassettes onto CD. I have wanted this for decades so I could record the only cassette I have of my Dad's voice. He died when I was like 19. I need to copy that cassette. And the one of my children when they were very little. I don't know how to copy them. I don't know if I have the right CD's but I bought a bunch. Where are they? How do I know if they are the right ones? How do I record this stuff? When can I do it? It is a big deal to have my kids hear my father's voice. He used to sing to me. ALL the time. He loved to sing. I haven't heard him sing in decades. I miss my dad. What if I ruin the cassette of him singing? What if it won't record? Should I wait until I am alone in the house to listen to that cassette? Am I ready to listen to that cassette? Should I put the record player somewhere else? The box is too heavy for me to move. I have to wait for my son to help me.

Then I shut the box and left it where it has been for 2 years. That is why it has been there, unopened, for 2 years.

I am going to look up the weight of the record player, and try to find the weight limit of the cabinet. But I dunno. See why nothing gets done?

SubC, yes! I would like your pizza crust recipe. I even have a pizza stone here I could try it on. I will think about what I can do to self nurture... I am in a pit of self loathing at the moment, not sure why, so feel like I deserve nothing. I am trying to fight that.

I drank my coffee an forced myself into my room. What I got done:
Started a new donate box - I put a plastic water bottle in it that I don't need or like
sorted a small pile of receipts and threw most of them away
threw away some packaging
sorted the dog chews, antlers, treats and put new ones out for the dog and put the rest neatly into the dog stuff bin. Threw one away.
emptied the trash in the master bath and put a new bag in
opened two packages that came in the mail a long time ago and threw out the packaging
tried on the 2 shirts that were in the packages. One is just slightly tight so I folded it and put it in the "almost fits" drawer. The other one is perfect and I love it, and I really needed one that fits. I have two warm shirts that fit that I rotate.

See wow! It looks like I got a lot done when I type it out like that! I feel a little better. I felt like I barely got anything done but this perks me up a bit. I will keep going, after I sit here and watch tv a bit.

Ok, back again.

I have officially made too many bad decisions because my head aches and my stomach is feeling a little rough (not sick, stayed up past 1 a.m. and tried to compensate with too much strong coffee and cookies for breakfast.)

Dd1 went home. Ds and ddil are meeting her mom at a picnic shelter to exchange gifts. Dd2 and Bean are napping. Dsil is clearing brush in our woods.

I am having a banana and a glass of water.

Lila, I think you should plan a self nurturing activity that does not require you to spend money that you can do while you are home alone.

Bath? Candles? Cozy pajamas? Book? Craft projects? Movie? Do your nails? What makes you feel cozy and relaxed?

Or throw yourself into a cleaning project knowing you won't be interrupted.

Would you like my pizza crust recipe? It is very easy.

Remind yourself that the biscuit meal was "just ok." We don't settle for "just ok"! What can you cook for yourself that is really good?

I gave away a bowl I was tired of to my dd1. She took that and most of their Christmas loot home yesterday and fed the cats. Otherwise cleaning and organizing has pretty much come to a halt.

Tatoulia, I think keeping one area cleared is a great goal for the year. I am doing that with my living room - keeping it cleared. Which means today I need to clear the 2 end tables which have begun to gather items again. If it is one small area that is already cleared I think it is doable. I originally wanted to also keep my bar and table cleared but it has been a source of stress to me. So I am doing the best I can on those.

SubC, I will try it. Yesterday I had to go out and run morning errands. The fast food places here stop serving breakfast at 10:30, so I don't often get it. So when I was out I got excited to have a fast food breakfast. I got a biscuit meal and really it was just okay. But a lot of fat and calories. Then in the evening I was starting to feel really sad. My adult kids from my first marriage AND my dil and grandd all went out to eat and shop and have a fun time with my ex and his new family. I guess I felt very left out (even though I do not want to hang with HIM, I have found it very hard to get them all together for anything, plus I can't afford to take them all to dinner or places). I sat here and thought I would order some food to make myself feel better. So it was really a pity party. I did stay vegetarian but it was by no means healthy (mac n cheese, a plant based sausage dog with toppings) but it came by uber and it was good. I really really want to order pizza today. And no promises because I am still depressed that the ex wants to take them all out again on our kid's birthday which means I will be sitting here alone again. But ex lives very far away and had to fly here to do this so I can't be the 'witch' and get in the way.

Anyway, I am so bummed today and feel like an actual slug. I am going to have a cup of real coffee to get some caffeine into me (I limit caff so it does help) and try to get motivated to work on my room.

Good morning. Just a quick check in.

Spending lots of time with family. Road, we hosted one friend of the whole large family for dinner last night. His Dd does have covid, but he has not seen her.

I am hoping all turns out well, for you and you get good answers soon!

Lila, you are making good progress. Can you post here exactly what you are planning to buy at fast food and why before you buy it? That might help you resist. We won't judge you, we will just help you think about triggers and ways to redirect yourself.

I have gained 4 lbs.

I got two studio aprons, a pot holder, and an apron for Bean for Christmas. Plus Dh replaced? My ice cream maker. I am not sure I wanted my ice cream maker replaced. We shall see. I have to wait until we have milk again to try the new one, so for now, the old one stays.

Road, you do not need to apologize! You are afraid and worried and sick over your son! We understand. Let us know if you are able to take him for the MRI tomorrow.

I am not living a minimalistic life by any stretch! There's still so much stuff. And I have let go of so much.

Sale stuff would get me. And I'd buy so much that I'd never realize the savings. And I'd be so proud of someone needed wrapping paper and I'd have a roll for them. It is they needed pots for plants or this special thing or that special thing. Now I leave them in the stores. It's not easy, but I've been doing it for a while now and I can generally stop myself. I also limit what I get for dishes at goodwill. If there are 8 perfect bowls, I buy two. I have redefined my need to buy all.

Unbeknownst to me, my cleaners are not coming this week. I texted her this AM since I hadn't heard from her and she said she was out of town and we will get back on schedule next week.

Lila, I'm glad you are organizing the pill bottles. They can be recycled, right? After I scrape off the labels, I put them in the recycling bin. I understand with the dosages changing, etc, that you keep past prescriptions. I do that with the synthroid, too.

Someone here mentioned having a different manufacturer pill and it is hitting differently. So true. I only use synthroid and not a generic because I need consistency and I was getting that from the generic pills. My other meds are generics.

Road, I do hope that you'll be able to take your son to Disney. As you peel through your layers of things, you'll find more things to sell and you'll also find that you want to spend less.

My short term goals are not spending in January (resist spending sn additional $10-20 a day on something cute) and cutting out sugar. I need another goal, too. How about keeping desk clean and cleared?

What are your thoughts?

Ooh, didn't mean to end on that ominous tone. Fingers crossed we get good news from the sil, the doc appt is uneventful, we are able to do something fun with my son, and then Friday I will take some time to write out some vision board stuff.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Anyone else want to share New Years goals or plans for January?

Lila, the locking up meds Comment didn't go unnoticed but I assumed there was a substance abuse issue. Funny, I was thinking about how we haven't had to worry about locking things up here since before the pandemic because no one was visiting! I had a real issue with prescription bottles. I had evolved past the "I can do something with these" and got stuck in the "what is the best way to recycle these" and the fear of privacy issues from the label. Then my H proved to me the labels really do peel off and I kind of flipped the bird to the landfills and got rid of a pretty large bag. Interesting about the energy flying around thing. I really do think there is something to that but I don't think I will have a problem with it at this stage of my life though because I am so sleep deprived... and I know I can always take a third of a mg of melatonin and be unconscious in a few minutes. Let's find out! Right?

I am the same way with food. As soon as I start thinking "I can't have xyz" I start craving it. I have to actively process my thinking away from that or I am sunk. I haven't focused on my weight for a few years at least. I am so far behind on drs appts for me and my son that's what I'm trying to focus on I guess. Once I get a better grip on that I may shift my focus back to that. I know when I lost about 30 lbs a few years ago (And I was trying to walk more regularly) I quickly got to the point where I could kind of jog upstairs. I was probably still about 100 lbs overweight at that point so there's an athletic person in here somewhere... I am so consistently decrepit now it's not even funny. Good to remember though that even a shift of 30 lbs changed my life a lot for the better.

The H and I actually tried to buy each other some gifts this year. I could not find anything on his list except for socks which is sad but I got him a few under armor things. He got me some jackets and hoodies that are too short (very hard to find things that fit) and some pajama pants which actually do fit and I like them, so yay.

My bil and sil came over. Monday for our Christmas gathering and they are all sick as of today (?) Each of the guys did an at home test Monday (negative), and the H went and got one at a testing site (neg) but my sil is still waiting for her results. Pretty annoyed because their story about my nephew being sick was not consistent so I am suspicious they were waiting on his test Monday when they came. And now we are kind of stuck because we don't want to go anywhere Or see my family and my son has this pre MRI appt tomorrow Which if we miss I'm afraid will delay his MRI once again. Ugh. Fingers crossed we can get through the next couple weeks with no more close calls. I need someone to tell me "your son does not have a brain tumor" ASAP.

Road, I think I relate to the energy thing. I actually enjoy having free space in my house, except in my bedroom. Maybe too much energy flying around in there = no sleep? I dunno. I always read that an uncluttered bedroom leads to better sleep. I have literally never, at least in 20 years, had an uncluttered bedroom, so I don't know. I am going to try and find out.

Today I don't even know where the time went. Phone call to a friend, ran an errand, mailed a letter, picked up fast food again ugh. Watched tv. Ordered fast food again. The waste!! I think because I am going to be tracking those expenses and trying to stop fast food in Jan, I just really wanted it today. It is a source of shame.

The only thing I did on my house today was asked my son to clean the pine needles out of the tree stand and put it back in storage, so he did that.

I found a paper bag with like 5 prescription bottles in it this morning! After all that work sorting bottles yesterday! Ugh. So I will go in there and consolidate again. It will take less time. The reason I have so many bottles is, I am on like 6 meds, kiddo is on 3 but their meds change often, back and forth, so I save the last 3 prescriptions (plus they increase the doses gradually and I save them for a little while). Plus when you have someone in the home who is depressed I was told to lock up most meds. So for every actively used prescription, I have one bottle on my counter with a few days worth of pills, and another bottle with the rest of the pills in a lock box. So if we have 10 prescriptions there will be 20 bottles. It's frustrating and a lot of work to stay on top of it.

I will try and get some things done and report back.

Finally had some snow here yesterday. This is the latest I can remember...

Tatoulia, interesting hearing your perspective on quantities of things. I can't quite imagine living as a minimalist, but I suspect it must be freeing. The organizing of the things (The process) can become part of the issue, too. What was the category of things you were having issues with over collecting? Or were you primarily dealing with cleaning?

I had meditated long and hard on the source of my hoarding issues a few years ago and besides whatever genetic component may be involved, the first thing I recall is a collection of stuffed animals I received when I was in the hospital (a number of times) when I was little - like from 2-4. Very early. Then we always had a messy room. I distinctly remember after cleaning it feeling like there was so much excess energy flying around it made me nervous. And after that I wondered if I kept a padding of stuff around me to dampen some energy field or something. Later on when feng shui concepts became common, I felt like that touched on it except where most people would want to open up the energy flow I needed to block it. In recent years I've felt like my energy level was so low and there was so much I wanted to do that I would enjoy the extra energy but the accumulated padding was now so deep it was almost impossible to clear it. I wonder if anyone else relates to that.

Sub C, did you end up not hosting? I need to re read that I think. I am glad you got some more quality time with bean. I dare say that wee scamp keeps you both grounded and your spirits lifted! (Scottish accent?) 😆 we got through our last event ok. Rapid tests were impossible to find but we had one and my sil had one so each of the guys took it and were both negative so I was determined to relax and enjoy their company. We picked up Thai from our favorite place and the kids opened gifts and we had a good time. Yesterday we all felt depressed and moped around a bit. But we did reorganize the wrapping paper situation. I used to hoard wrapping paper. I would hit hallmark stores after Christmas and buy about 10/14 rolls a year (And ornaments). Now I don't buy any or only a few. I've organized and purged a few times before but it was a pretty good mess this year. There's a container of extra long Christmas paper rolls, one box of casual/more youthful Designs, and one of more elegant Christmas wrapping paper. Then there's a box of bags, tissue and tags, and an overflowing box of ribbon. there's also a box of various occasion wrap. And a pile of birthday gift bags that needs a home. I tossed everything ripped or crumpled or ugly... we don't give that many gifts so this amount is truly still way too much. But good timing to do it yesterday to keep me out of the stores completely. The H worked on returns yesterday and I am gathering a pile. He makes a habit of overbuying and then sorting through it and *usually* follows through with returning. At least more often than me. I handed over the kohl's cash to him. He is less likely to lose track of it and actually use it than me.

Well, I need to plan something fun for today. The kid seems depressed and is confused why we are not taking a vacation when we are on vacation. Then my tone deaf sil comes over and shows him videos of all these parades at universal that we can't afford to take him to. I think that's my one green monster... I know how much my son would enjoy it but I haven't been able to organize myself and my finances enough to pull it off. #goals Anyway, he has a drs appt tomorrow for clearance for the MRI and I've kind of blocked out the rest I guess. He's been having terrible insomnia for about a week which I now realize is in line with when we got his Anti seizure rx refilled. Same med, same dosage but different pill. I don't know if there's something off about it. I think I remember reading that the formulations can actually differ quite a bit. He had this issue when he first went on it also. I don't know what's going on.

Oh dear well I've slipped into the land of endless blather again! Sorry my friends. Better knuckle down today and do some paperwork so I can feel like I have a handle on this stuff again. We will leave Christmas decorations up for another week or so. By then I'll probably be glad to see it go.

Hope to check in again later,

Okay time for bed here. Everything gives me heartburn these days. So painful.

I've kept the living room nice. Cat is sleeping by the fireplace. It's just an electric one but it is so nice and it throws off a good deal of heat in my drafty home. Of course, now I'll go into my freezing bedroom and put the ceiling fan on.

My friend may need to go to Connecticut for work tmr. She'll be taking my car. I don't want her driving home NYE but I also don't want her spending it alone in a hotel. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that she doesn't have to go.

I too take thyroid meds. I only take name brand and not generic so it costs a small fortune. I take other meds as well. If I lost weight I could probably get rid of two meds. Another reason to get healthy in 2022!

I keep up with my med bottles. Never have any sitting around. Used to, but made that change a long time ago. I like the space! All the meds are in a basket in one of my kitchen cabinets. Except my synthroid. That's on a tray in my counter where I keep a few other things such as the little thing that I put my tea bag on. The little tray is cleaned and cleared each week.

Going to go get mom a few things. Then back to work. This will be the first lunch I've taken in ages.

p.s. -

I am currently taking six prescription meds (blood pressure, GERD, thyroid) and am prescribed one more for weight loss which I am not taking right now plus a baby aspirin. I really would like to be able to get healthy enough to stop taking most of them. It is doable except for probably the thyroid med. If I lose enough weight I could be down to one pill a day. Goals.

Good morning!

I am running slow today. Just now drinking a cup of coffee with caffeine. I really should avoid caffeine but I have no energy. I just started taking a good multi. What do you guys do for energy??

Today I did a task I have been putting off: prescription bottles. In my room and bathroom I just gathered up every prescription bottle. There were 42 of them! (Just for me and one kid). I have a lock box I keep some in. So I sorted all the bottles, put together all the 'like' prescriptions, threw away the expired ones (we also have a place to drop them off in a baggie), then checked expiration dates and consolidated, and got it down to twenty-something bottles. I put most of them in the lock box and put it away, then put the rest where they go.

So now my room does not look like a pharmacy anymore with bottles on every surface and in boxes!

I am going out with a friend for lunch and another friend for coffee later. What are you all doing today?

Hello everyone! I have to run some errands today and since it is quiet at work, I will do during the day. Once it gets dark out, I lose my motivation. Just need to get bread and milk for mom. Not too much errand-wise.

Hello everyone! SubC that is scary about Covid. This is such a frightening situation. Lila you are amazing!

My house looked so clean and clear today. After a great deal of procrastination, I took the garbage out. I fell asleep til now.

Going back to bed. See you all tomorrow! Keep up the good work!

House update - it was going to be a full on get things done day today but things changed. I had a doordash order from a pet store for a few things I needed, and they cancelled 1/3 of my items. So I cancelled it and just went to the store myself. Then when I came home a neighbor I have not seen in months came by and asked if our dogs could play. So we were in the yard letting them play for a half hour or so, which was nice. Then my dil and grandd showed up! I was very happy to see them because this week my ex is in town and I avoid him at all costs so I assumed I would not get to see grandd, since they would be doing things with him and his 'new family.' But dil would rather hang with me and came over here. We had a good visit and lunch for a few hours. Now she went home. So while I did not get my list of things done, I had a great day with them.

Before all of that happened, I got ALL the Christmas stuff put away into boxes and had my son put them back in storage. We took the tree out and vacuumed. Wow, so nice to see all the clear surfaces in the living room! And on my way to the store, I dropped off one box to donations. It was that box of my son's that was empty. I put a few Christmas items into it and though it was only 3/4 full I wanted it gone, so I dropped it off.

So a good day overall. If I get some energy, I might work on my room a little. But right now I need to make salsa.

hi Road! Merry Christmas! So nice to hear about your brother's progress. My goal setting this year is taking the form of habit trackers in my planner. If you google circle habit tracker you can see what I taped into my monthly planner and adding habits to track all month. I have a square one in each week for 5 more habits I can track. I am playing with it this week but once Jan 1 hits I will have it just right and be already started with my new habits. It is simple - like "walk" in one space and if I take a walk I can color in the square for that date. I do know fly lady and used it way back when, but I never could keep up with it. I do like her technique and that's where I got my habit to set a timer for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes and just work until it dings.

I hate when I don't sleep well Tatoulia. I hope you can rest well tonight.

SubC, covid is making everything more complicated, and miserable in some cases. I am dealing with event planning and not sure whether to plan or delay some events. Who knows what things will look like covid wise in a few weeks?

Hi all!

Hi Road! I'm sorry your brother's house is still overwhelming, but it is nice that he is making progress. And that you got to gather with family.

We have had a nice day together. I think it was good that we did not need to host a party tonight though. It has been a lot. Bean has gotten overwhelmed a couple of times (he took a nap during presents and finished opening his later).

And ddil got some bad news from her family. They are very divided over covid and many other things. Her sister went to see her father's new family, and they all have covid. Then her sister went to visit her mother's family. Then she told them about the covid. She is willing to get tested tomorrow. But it is early enough that she could be positive and not caught. Also if she is positive, other family members could be positive because she is already with them. Also ddil and ds were supposed to go tomorrow and only a less reliable rapid test would be fast enough to get results. And the sister is unvaccinated. So ddil says they are not going. And her mother is angry. And ddil is sad. The only silver lining is that we get more time with them, but I wish there was something we could do to make her feel better.

Good to hear from you, Road! You made it through Christmas! And I love your tagline. Very fun! I can hear Jimmy Stewart's voice!

Today is a holiday from work, which is pretty nice. They aren't giving us anytime for New Years other than a half day on Friday. But I'd rather the Friday before Christmas and the Monday after Christmas, anyway.

I met a friend from work today and we walked over six miles. Felt good.

It looks like winter today, which is nice. I'll get my garbage out soon.

Had a miserable night's sleep last night.

That's a pity re the smell of your brother's place. Is it from the dogs or just general bad smells?

I did check in on the fly lady many years ago. I couldn't relate. I didn't even wash my sink the way she likes people to. I haven't checked on any organization sites because organizing isn't my thing. I just want fewer things and have my house decorated nicely. That said, I am all in favor for whatever works! Whenever I see people with their stuff all organized and labeled I think, why do they have so much stuff that it needs to be labeled? BUT I am not creative. I don't have tools or fabrics or beads or embroidery flosses, etc. I'm terrible at all creative projects I start. I am not skilled and I am not precise. I wish I were. I do not have the gift of talent.

My house looks so beautiful today, and will look even nicer once I get my trash out. Will go clean kitty's box and take it out. It will be 5 PM by then plus the city isn't going to write a ticket for a few minutes early on a dark winter's night.

Ok people I am up to dec 23rd!

Lila, I am on board with goal-setting. Do you use a particular system or your own process? I'm gonna dip my toe back into vision boarding. Basic concept is writing goals in all-positive verbiage and in the present tense as if you've already achieved it. And then incorporating a lot of visuals... it can be a bit of a process but in the past when I've committed to it I've found the level of detail and visual aspect really helpful. Might be in too negative of a mindset to do affirmations at this point but maybe I can get back there...

Do I remember correctly that some of you are familiar with fly lady techniques? And what about the "organized Christmas" Program - wow to think I used to attempt that! Prob wouldn't be so hard without a boarded house. Lol.

Back agaiN later,

hi again people and merry Christmas, you old building and loan!

I just noticed the formatting window there after what, 6 months? Lol

That's my holiday greeting this year, you old building and loan. I'm completely sober, just weird.

Lila, I am still back on December 22nd (reading through) but I am identifying with what you're writing.

Sorry to miss out on all the discussions. I have been thinking of you all and as usual just kind of drowning or treading water in a very belated pre Christmas haze... very mindful of the need to tackle the post-Christmas "we shoved things in corners, bags and boxes (and ovens) at the last minute aNd now it's time to put everything away where it goes or next year we won't be able to find anything either" syndrome.

But for today, we are prepping for the last family thing and then there will be more time to clean. Christmas Eve we went to my brothers. You all need to appreciate how significant this is that he invited us (including the aged Ps) to his house for Christmas Eve. I was hoping he would have done a little more since I worked on things with him last week and he had. More surfaces were cleaned and dusted and he covered the dog ravaged couches. The odor was still fantastic. When my dad who uses a cane /walker and is having extra hip pain at the moment tried to step over the threshold he kind of leaned backwards and I honestly think it was from the smell. But anyway, we all came in and sat and had a nice visit for an hour or two. Bro served us pop and popcorn. I kind of chuckled watching him have to handle the little extra duties of hosting. We are all middle aged babies but he's definitely a fish out of water with having people over. And I know he was embarrassed so that wasn't fun but it was a good reminder for him how much work it is for us when he comes over and doesn't do anything. I'm delving into negativity. He crossed a major threshold and I'm proud of him. I'm gonna keep checking in with him although I don't think I'll try to "help" him again unless it's side by side in separate rooms. He's got a couple weeks to address the odor and if he doesn't I'm going to have to say something to him. Other than that I will just keep engaging him on what I'm doing and try to get him to share what he's doing cause I know that's motivating for him.

Christmas morning we were here and my son opened his presents. He was not impressed or excited by anything. Parenting fail. Ugggh. He stacked all his stuff up neatly on a chair and hasn't looked at it since. He's kind of at an in between stage... and he's kind of "off" right now which terrifies me. There's also the fact that he's an only child and has everything he wants already... ☺️

Omg my son just brought up a bottle of pop and a glass for me. Sweetest😇 Angel With the worst gas ever. 🥴 🥰

Christmas afternoon we went to my Ps for lunch. Their dining room is still closed to guests so they have it where you can get stuff to go so they just pick it up and bring it back to the apartment and we plate it up. It was the first Christmas there and I think they were ok with it. Last night we visited with the H's mom. They're usually estranged so I've never been to her apartment. She moved out of her house a couple years ago. It's a low income retirement place and it was well maintained and clean but extremely basic - like no garbage disposal or dishwasher. She was the most pleasant and calmest I've seen her for a long time. It was still a little awkward but fairly pleasant couple of hours.

Right now in the frame of mind I'm in (clearing out my house) every gift I see for me or for others looks like a challenge - like I'm introducing extra obstacles and more decisions about how to turn around and get rid of it! Definitely a shift in thinking so I will take it. I did finally give up on finding my stash of winter clothes and bought two new shirts at target - only one of which was on clearance which is very rare for me haha . I also bought some stuff from two thrift stores a few weeks ago. I was trying to find a shadow box for the H to make a memorial one for his brother. They had this one that was pretty deep and had a very nice wood frame. It had all this cool nautical stuff in it so I was gonna remove all of that and put stuff in for his brother and it was only $24. I couldn't find anything half that nice for half that price, but in the end I decided it wasn't quite deep enough and probably too large overall so I didn't get it. But then I found other treasures. Not too much $$ and not too much volume, but it reminded me of how I got in this mess to begin with. Schemes of creative projects that would actually happen way too infrequently, and just the volume of several grocery bags a week coming into the house and almost nothing going out. Times several years and you have 400 bins of crap in your house. Anyway, I think I can avoid doing that again for awhile now.

Off to play with the puppy. Be back in a bit.

Hi Road!

Hi all, just checking in... will pop back in later...

Thanks for the clarification on the party. It is so sad to see this precious time pass with the children. Very painful and lonely 2 years.

I have been trying to sleep for a while with no luck whatsoever.

I need to buy more pledge. You keep reminding me of that, Lila.

I did three loads of laundry today. Two after I woke up and one tonight.

I wish I could fall asleep.

Thanks Tatoulia!

SubC I really like that idea. It seems like attacking the piles from the "opposite end," looking for favorites rather than things to toss, will help me. I will do that tomorrow... just start putting things I love in those empty drawers and the closet spot. We'll see what is left. Have a Merry Christmas tomorrow!

I worked on my planner for about an hour and it is all organized. I re-structured my habit trackers a little (I did a trial run for the last bit of December before putting it into January) and I think I like it now. I also moved all of my tasks into new lists for this week, separated into work and home. Since I don't have to GO to work this week, I can just do the listed tasks from home and get caught up. And the rest of my time can be spent enjoying some alone time and getting caught up on things here. Although I just remembered that I forgot to do my laundry. It's late but I am going to put it in right now.