| Tatoulia | Posted: 23 August 2017 - 09:36 AM |
Hello! I've started phase 8 to make sure we all have access! So, what are you doing today??? | |
Replies (670)
| Tillie | Posted: 28 October 2017 - 10:53 AM |
Hello 🙂 Great to read all the posts! | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 28 October 2017 - 09:29 AM |
I find the heaters last exactly the warranty period and not a second more. That's great that your husband is so handy! We have beautiful fall day here but are expecting storm with rain tomorrow. Going to say a prayer then gonsee brother. Have a great day, everyone! Coffee cup clinks! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 28 October 2017 - 08:37 AM |
So, I actually only had to move two things and the old water heater is out. (The warrantee expired a few months ago) dh has gone to buy a new one. He is buying a cheaper one with a much shorter warrantee because he plans to void the warrantee as soon as he gets it home by replacing the clean out valve with something that actually allows you to clean the tank out. He says every model has the same badly designed y coupling and his engineer soul can't accept it one more time. I made my own cup of tea, and as soon as I finish it, i'm heading out to work in my studio. The weather is awful here today - dark and cold with sleet. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 27 October 2017 - 09:30 PM |
SubC! Sounds like you both handled this really well--keep up the good work! I need to have my water heater replaced--I do the moment the warranty expires but this year I am late. I generally change out on Halloween and I haven't arranged for it yet due to lack of funds. I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and for your husband knowing when it's time to back off. I'll make you a nice herbal tea. Did some laundry tonight. BF working. I stopped to see him on my way home. Then came home, did some laundry, and enjoyed some delicious butternut squash soup. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 27 October 2017 - 07:45 PM |
Hi all, pass the tea. 😉 Tomorrow we are replacing the water heater. The diagnosis is "rusted through." The water is getting worse and worse. Tonight I had to move a bin because I was afraid there was a hole in the bottom. The stuff in it was heavy, so I had to unpack it, and of course it was full of stuff (dolls and baby blankets knit by my step-grandmother) that dh wishes would stay packed up or even better disappear, and he started to get angry and ask "why do you always have to make everything so much more complicated?" And I snapped at him. I told him I have been amazingly calm about this whole thing and I needed to unpack one bin and then if he left me alone about it, I would go back to being amazingly calm. And he backed off. And there was a hole in the bin. But everything is fine. But I have to move a lot of stuff tomorrow so we can replace the water heater. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 27 October 2017 - 07:26 PM |
Hi CM! Thank you for your post! That is fun dreaming of a perfect home for you! I too would need lots of hidden storage so I could just enjoy doing things and having enough room. I often wonder if I did have lots of space, would I use it all? Would I use all the rooms? Thank you for supporting me during the car stress. This stress came from the fact that when it comes to my brother, absolutely everything is a day late and a dollar short. He dumps s car on me with a flat tire and no gas. I go to move it and battery dead. Oh and it's filled with trash including prescription receipts so I can't just put it all in a trash bag. Oh, and the inspection sticker is about to run out. And so even if I get it charged, I cannit drive it because tire is completely gone. And I can't gas it up because of missing tire and if I turn it off, it will need another boost. And he refuses to look for the title, so I have to order a new one. Then this thing and that thing and we need his ID but if course that expired back in July.... he completely stresses me out. Everything with him has a million wrinkled and obstacles and he isn't helpful for even five minutes and asking him questions makes him angry and sweary (for lack of a better word) BUT car is gone now. thank goodness for that. My brother's life is always in this state. He will do nothing to keep it going and he takes it out in me when it all goes wrong. Wow, just putting this in writing reminds me that I am an awesome person. I normally don't praise myself like that. So plates cancelled, insurance cancelled, and I'm free. Thank you everyone for letting me get that off my chest. Tillie I am making you a cup of tea. CM I am buying you a lottery ticked. ❤️❤️❤️ | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 27 October 2017 - 09:21 AM |
Hi, Tatoulia, I hope all goes well with the car. I have a theory or two as to why we stress over things. First, we've just been dealing with so much already that something doesn't have to be a huge stressor by most people's standards to put us over the top. The second hypothesis may or may not be applicable. It's one I read of in one of my books on ADD. For the person with an ADD brain, "everything's a thing" - more precisely, each item the brain must take in and process is of more or less equal weight. The illness of a family member, what to fix for dinner, the check engine light going on, the need for a new bottle of shampoo, etc. From the sublime to the ridiculous, from soup to nuts. Now that doesn't mean different items carry the same emotional significance - of course a terrorist attack or something makes me sad and angry way more than breaking a cheap coffee cup. But the initial cognitive processing of things that cross my mental radar screen tend to take fairly equal amounts of energy to keep track of. This may or may not apply to you, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway. When the car is gone, do something fun to celebrate! Switching topics - I have been daydreaming about ideal residences, sort of like Porter and his plans and inventions. I'm envisioning the ideal place I could have designed and built once I win the lottery. It would be more creative laboratory and studio than conventional house. The biggest and key feature for avoiding clutter would be that I'd have a large open workspace and supplies would be in a storeroom (neatly organized of course). There could be a basic normal looking house at the front, at least a parlor type living room and dining room for having guests. The kitchen and pantry would bridge to the workshop/studio and be handy for fixing snacks. And I could have bedrooms above the other conventional rooms. Oh, and a library and office somewhere in there. But the house part would follow the same principle as the workshop: Only those items immediately needed for a given activity would be out in the rooms, and when not in use they'd be returned to storage. Ample closets for this purpose. I kind of got all these ideas from having a storage unit, and from one place I used to work. The concept of NOT having to work and keep supplies in the same space. Sure, that seems convenient at first, but for me it leads to clutter creep. And I could use the exercise returning stuff to its proper place. Now all I need to do is win the lottery. Easy peasy. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 26 October 2017 - 06:36 PM |
Putting the kettle on to make you a cup of tea, Tillie. Peppermint with honey. Please take care of yourself. Fluids please. I wish I could stop by and do your chores. Maybe someday. Tess, I'm happy you stopped by. Yes it can feel intrusive having people over. I used to regularly have dinner parties here and I've fallen away from it. I miss having people over. Soon, I hope. CM you take such good care of the bunnies. A wonderful feeling to nurture a little furry friend. SubC congratulations for being calm and finding some peace. Let us all meditate on that for a moment--what could have been a disaster, and maybe even a fight or harsh words with husband, was just a blip in the road of life due to your hard work. The car is still stressing me out. My BF can't understand it. We have the money, paperwork signed. I just need the guy to pick it up, which he is doing today. I bought this car for my brother many years ago. During one of his fits, he dumped it by my BF's office. We kept it at first because we weren't sure if brother was going to want it back. I've been paying insurance on it for a year, and giving it jumps sad moving it when I've had to. There are very few streets that don't have resident restrictions and street cleaning. I still have plates on it but being cancelled tomorrow. I just want to know that it's gone. I sold it for scrap, essentially, as I don't want to fix it up to sell. The buyer was happy and I will be happy. I don't know why I carry around so much stress and worry. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 26 October 2017 - 12:58 PM |
How wonderful to see the board so active! I will respond, and chime in with some of my own news. 🙂 Joan, great to hear from you often! I'm so sorry you're having the bad memories but hopefully they will start to fade as you face them with your newfound strength and riding on the wings of our prayers and well wishes. You should never have had to suffer such a thing as an innocent child and carry the residue from it into adulthood in your compromised health. But I have a feeling there's more healing in store for you. <3 Great work with the decluttering, Sarah and kids! It's hard to do when we have depression, and there have been times when I've made myself power through and sometimes it cheered me up, other times I was just "meh" but at least I got it done, so if nothing else it was one less burden. Tatoulia, you praised my wisdom about money but I tell you, it sure came at a steep cost! Credit card debt and bankruptcy, and for the icing on the cake, the foreclosure of my parents' house I'd hoped to get out of its 2nd mortgage. I doubt I'll ever fulfill my dream of being a homeowner. But I'm a "never say never" person, so I'll leave that up to God. I'm now in a position, being on disability, that I have no choice but to budget and be frugal. However, I have so much more self-respect now, doing things the way I should've 35-40 years ago. So it's never too late to learn and make what fresh starts we can. Congrats on selling the car via Craigslist. Good strategy to go by police station and have boyfriend along. I know divorced parents sometimes exchange their shared custody kids by the police station - some of them are ordered to from what I understand. Also - glad your dinner with your mom and brother and BF went well. Tillie - first of all - GET WELL SOON! I envy you your snuggle cats - they'll be good medicine for what ails you. Good thing they found you to save them. Tatoulia, too, you're right, abandoning animals is reprehensible. Our rabbit rescue and others like it deal with bunnies that people have "set free" - and domestic bunnies rarely survive such abandonment. We're supposed to have a cold front moving in with 40 mph winds this evening. Blech. Tillie, I do not share your love for chilly rains! They mess with my allergies and sinuses. Interesting how some of us have that feeling about washing hair and/or showering. I can wash my hair quickly, but I definitely feel like it takes me a lot of effort to get a whole shower or bath in. It's the business about being unused to sharing a bathroom after so many years alone - some of my stuff is in there and other thigs are in my room, and I feel like I'm trying to remember so many things. I also have sensory defensiveness I guess you'd call it - like with cold air blowing on my wet skin. I find quick little tricks to avoid going around stinky but I wish it weren't such a big production to just take a dang bath like I used to when I lived alone and had control over all the variables. I was okay with not going to the Doctor Who convention - things were busy and I was tired. There'll be others. Coffee mugs - oh yeah. So easy to get too many of those. I've gotten rid of some. Took my roommate's bunny to the vet earlier in the week. Bunny's arthritis is pretty bad. Vet gave us meds and suggestions on modifications for her. She is still quite spirited and I think has quality of life with the extra nurturing and accommodations for now. So we just treasure each day with her. I had a busy week and was sitting with my elderly lady friend several evenings so I got behind on my own stuff at home. The thing besides the clutter that bugs me the most is that I can't get enough time to follow up on creative ideas - to type into the computer the ones for writing and art, and to get to the sewing machine for most of the rest. I may have already griped about this recently; if so, apologies for the repetition. We also still don't have the furnace so are using electric heaters. Hope that is sufficient with that cold front coming. Especially for little arthritic bunny, I worry about her. If need be I'll heat some towels in the microwave that she can snuggle with. So as you can see, it's just a little of this and that and it adds up. Today I had planned to be more of a start day for my getting back to my own stuff; however, with the weather change coming, I have added tasks such as emptying rain barrels - Tillie, how I wish I could send you the water! And I need to get bunny's towels out of the washer and do another load. So I'm lowering my expectations for today. My time will start tomorrow when I have the house to myself for the weekend. I think the cat that comes into my room to judge my clutter is napping in my wardrobe. I hear her shifting around getting comfortable in there. LOL! | |
| Tess | Posted: 26 October 2017 - 10:53 AM |
Feel better, Tillie! Isn't it crazy how sometimes you don't realize you're sick until it hits you hard? | |
| Tillie | Posted: 26 October 2017 - 10:12 AM |
finally figured out why I have no energy and keep falling asleep every time I sit down. | |
| Tess | Posted: 26 October 2017 - 07:37 AM |
Hi everybody! Subclinical, that has to be an awesome feeling. Congratulations! I hope the water heater isn't leaking a lot of water. Tatoulia, congrats on selling the car! Cars are such a headache for me. I know nothing about them! It's one of the areas where I consistently need to rely on other people. And that's hard for me. Once again, I'm waiting for the plumber. At this point, I kinda just want to get it over with The anxiety is getting old. I have realized something about myself. I've never been comfortable having people in my house. Even back when it was clean. I think it goes back to when I was a kid. We weren't allowed to have people over. I let a friend in once with my dad's permission. My mom found out and went through the roof! Of course, that isn't the only issue these days. The main issue is that my house is currently filthy 🙁 Not newspaper worthy filth, but still. I so wish I could be normal. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 26 October 2017 - 07:05 AM |
Yay for getting rid of unwanted cars! I have an update on how far I have come in my "dehoarding" There is something wrong with our water heater. It is leaking on the basement floor. Last night I discovered this when I went down to put eggs away in the "farm fridge" I have stuff sitting in the water, but it is in plastic bins. I moved four threatened items that should not get wet, and then I came up and calmly told dh about the water. He adjusted something and we went to bed. This morning I went downstairs and came back up to inform him that there is more water on the floor . He said "I will fix it this weekend" and I was able to just say "ok." I do not need to freak out about the water and I do not need to freak out about making space for him to fix it. Two years ago this would have been a major crisis that destroyed my week. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 25 October 2017 - 08:21 PM |
Joan, what a pleasure to hear from you twice in one day. I'm glad you have supportive doctors and other exceptionsl people In your life. You deserve nothing less. Cm! Great to hear from you! NIque-welcome. I echo what CM has suggested. I am so very sorry you are in this position. We are here to offer emotional support. Please keep posting. Great work, SubC! Maintaining space by not picking things up and bringing them home! Brava! For me, I sold my brother's car. What a fantastic feeling. I sold it to the Craig's list guy. He was very decent and BF was with me the whole time. Got the money I wanted. And this guy got a great deal. But largely this headache is gone. I cannot wait for that fantastic feeling to sink in. Not yet. But soon. Beautiful day with my mom today. Museum, late lunch. Beautiful all around. It rained cats and dogs and we did not care. | |
| Joan | Posted: 25 October 2017 - 05:16 PM |
Thanks Tat. Today two doctors that I see separtely were unsurprised by my news. It seems that in the medical field, Munchausen's by Proxy is acknowledged to be much more prevalent than people would like to think. Even today it is common, and not much can be done sbout it. I am just sticking to my routine, as usual. I thought about what you said, and besides this forum, I have surrounded myself with exceptional people, especially medical/health professionals. It is my job now to keep putting Humpty Dumpty back together. It feels like the high-risk, killer parts of my life are over, and now I just continue with the work I have set up for myself. Appreciate your support, and that of others on this Board. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 25 October 2017 - 05:05 PM |
Hello Nique, welcome to the chat thread. We are a caring bunch of warriors here. I am just catching up on posts and have to go out, but I couldn't not post when I saw your post. You will be in my prayers and one thing I can think of quickly to suggest is clicking on the menu items above - Help for Hoarders, Links, etc. as well as the message boards and perhaps doing live chat. Maybe someone can hook you up to an agency in your area. Also is there a way to buy a little more time with the eviction thing - if it's financial, perhaps find a charitable organization, Red Cross, something to pay another month's rent to give you time to find help? If it has to do with city or county codes, maybe a counselor or someone could help liaison and get them to grant you an extension given your dire straits? | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 25 October 2017 - 04:24 PM |
Hi Joan and everyone! (I wonder what's up with porter) I did not stop on my way to work and pick up the plastic shelf or the pretty panels painted with dogwoods. I did finish emptying the wagon of feed bags - curb sized trash can and footlocker yet to go. | |
| Nique | Posted: 25 October 2017 - 04:24 PM |
Hello...I dont know if I have found the right place or not...I have a type of hoarding situation and I desperately need help...My family needs to have our place cleaned up and de hoarded by November 12 and we have a terrible bug problem to boot and that needs to be dealt with as well...We dont have the means to pay someone to come and help us to do the decluttering and debugging of our place and we are looking at eviction with two children...A little backstory: There are three adult women in the house with two small boys age 6 and almost 2...we (the women) are all disabled and have fallen into a deep depression after my Dad and my moms husband, suddenly passed away a few months ago...this started the hoarding...and we had a bug problem from the beginning but now it has gotten out of control...we need help...the bugs are so bad that they are eating the adults...please offer any help that you can... | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 25 October 2017 - 10:20 AM |
Oh Joan. This is all so awful. Except--you are bravely working through this. Your perseverance shows hope and faith. I am so sorry for all of this and want to assure you that today you are loved and valued. As I said to Tillie recently, it's amazing that the Internet has given us friendship. I care about you, Joan, and I admire you. If I could change your circumstances, I would, but since I cannot, I will sit here in awe as you seek peace and healing. | |
| Joan | Posted: 24 October 2017 - 09:57 PM |
Thanks Tat. I am feeling better these last couple of days, since I got new allergy drops yesterday. Mentally I am kind of in shock. Details of abuse in my early childhood are coming to light. I am not surprised, but it was much worse than I thought. Hence my iatrogenic "psychiatric" diagnoses and my movement disorder: All were created deliberately by my bio mother (Munchausen by Proxy). For years I have compared my situation to that of a Munchausen by Proxy victim, but now it is being seen to be true. This is a much more common experience than people would like to think. Not really anywhere to turn to for support, as even if victoms can recollect being abused, the majority do not surivive. The dead tell no tales, as all Munchausen by Proxy mothers count on. Mine certainly did. It was her undoing. I buried her in 2014. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 24 October 2017 - 09:07 PM |
It really is impossible to understand how people abandon pets. So upsetting. Needless suffering in an already difficult world. My scaredy cat clearly lived with people at some point but was found living under a porch. We are a fully bonded pair, so if anyone wants to adopt either one of us, we are a package deal. She is absolutely terrified of visitors and will stay hidden until they leave. It's fine with me. Sometimes I wish people could see her to see how much she loves me and how terribly pretty she is, but I take her as she is. She loves my BF and they are good pals. But when she's at his house, she hides from me. Each cat is different. Good enough day at work today. Have tomorrow off to spend with mom on what promises to be a very rainy birthday. That's okay by us. I'm grateful for the rain but wish the temp would drop. I think it's in the 70s still. I'm ready for that raw Autumn rain that chills to the bone. Running dishwasher. Don't have any milk for my coffee tmr nor do I have any breakfast food. I'll have to have tea. Hope everyone is doing well. Shout out to Joan. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 24 October 2017 - 10:31 AM |
Good Morning Everybody 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 The extended weather forecast is low 70s all the next 10 days with no rain. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 24 October 2017 - 12:28 AM |
Tillie I love it! the depression gave you a reprieve after cleaning! I ended up also sweeping the floor tonight, which felt good. I am a bit nervous re Craigs List--got my first scammer already--but the "item" is parked near the police station and BF will be with me if someone wants the car. Otherwise I will donate it. It's 1;26 AM. I got up to feed kitty. That's so sweet that Marty snuggled in for a nap! Many years ago I had an excellent nap cat. My cat will nap near me but not with me. That's okay. Each cat does her own thing. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 23 October 2017 - 11:17 PM |
Hello 🙂 Hi Sarah 🙂 Hi Subclinical 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 Decided to clean the house this morning. Good night, Sweet dreams 🙂 | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 23 October 2017 - 01:39 PM |
Good afternoon--water glass raised! I took out my recycling and have done my laundry. I took the bag for goodwill and put in trunk of car. I have listed something in Craig's list for sale and got my first scam response. I made a separate email acct for the Craig's list ad. We shall see how this goes. I'm selling something not mine but has been dumped on me. After that I'll try to sell a piece of furniture I'm looking to get rid of. I'm working and fasting and feeling pretty good about myself. I over ate over the weekend and do the fasting feels good. The stuff I've done around the house today is merely maintenance, but I did go through closet looking to see if there's another skirt I can reclaim. There is one but I'm. Kit sure I'll wear it. I will think about this for one week only. OH! And I got rid of one button down blouse that is too big. It's in perfect shape but looks weird because of my weight loss. Hope everyone is doing okay. Sending you strength and peace. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 23 October 2017 - 08:44 AM |
Coffee clinks! I'm working from home today and for that I am grateful. We had mom's birthday dinner last night. The food at the restaurant was delicious and the cake i bought was very pretty. A square cake decorated like a present. It was done in fall colors and then a real ribbon going around it and a big bow. Very pretty. Mom, me, my BF and brother. Even brother had a good time and kept it together pretty much. Tillie I am so sorry you are depressed. I wish I could help you but sadly, as we all know, there's nothing anyone can say to make it go away. If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. Otherwise just know I am thinking of you. Your Tardis coffee mug sounds adorable! And I'm envious of your three Beatles mugs and I'm glad to know they exist in the world--And at your house. Sarah, I'm so proud of your accomplishments and I am sorry you are battling depression right now. It is hard and I get it. I'm pretty sure that we all know how devastating it is. I have a big bag ready for recycling bin. I have run and unloaded dishwasher (ran it last night/unloaded this AM). Am going to do some laundry and do some work. I'm looking for progress today. I do need progress. It's in my hands. I've started a second bag of donations and will take a break today and put ithe bags in my car. But I want to see actual progress. I'll need to really force myself here. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 23 October 2017 - 05:11 AM |
Sarah, Involving the kids in the clean out is a really good thing. They might not like it now, but it will pay off for all of you. Do you know when you might be able to take the donate bins? Can you start taking pictures this week? I'm glad you came back to tell us what you did. Tillie, | |
| Sarah | Posted: 22 October 2017 - 09:39 PM |
Hi, 1) Kept both bathrooms neat/tidy (until just today, sadly) That's all I can think of right now...thanks for being there. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 22 October 2017 - 05:21 PM |
Good Afternoon Everybody 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 Hi Joan 🙂 Hi Subclinical 🙂 Haven't really done much except cat stuff. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 21 October 2017 - 07:34 PM |
Hi Joan! I fully support mulching the coconut! I washed my hair today too. I'm sorry that your not washing hair is from being so exhausted. Mine is from having a really hard time putting my head in the shower when I am exhausted or any time after about solstice. Sometimes it is too hard to get wet at all. Tatoulia, I hope you have a fun celebration tomorrow! Hi Tillie, CM, you sound like you are doing great with the van and the new storage area. I really relate to the activities/energy conflicts. I have had a lot of emotionally draining stuff at work as well as supporting one of my kids who is going through a really rough time and my youngest who struggles with anxiety and has a lot going on that is triggering her right now, even though hers is good stuff. I think tomorrow I will be able to do some things though. | |