Normal...

No one system or method works for everyone. We are ALL different unique individuals.

We all need to find systems that help us but those systems need to be tweeked to fit the individual person and their lifestyle.

Example...
Young man was having problems with his chest of drawers. It was difficult for him to get out the things he wanted to wear.
My solution was to ditch that chest of drawers and instead have him use stacked milk crates.
They made nice cubby hole type shelves where he could easily see his clothing items.
Problem solved. 😀

Sometimes it really helps to have someone there with you to see solutions to problems that you didn't see.

diane it is good to hear how Tillie does things. I never felt like I knew what was normal either. I'd get lots of cleaning/organizing books back in the early 80's and think, wow do people really do all this? The only time I have ever cleaned under my fridge or washer and dryer is when they have to be replaced and the space is open for a few minutes.

You're doing so excellent!!! 🙂

Thanks Tillie, nice to hear how you do things, I just never learned these things, so really appreciate an inside look at how a normal person organizes. Today I went to friends, then to the home where we are moving her aunt tomorrow. I decorated the room with aunts stuff so when she gets there, she, hopefully, feels at home. I then went to classic car show and then to earth day celebration, nice day. Being in the bright sun today, I now have a headache so sitting still, also emotionally exhausted, and feel really good that I have the knowledge to help my friend place her aunt in the best possible situation. the room looks so great decorated with her stuff. Feels good to help others and not just hang out with my clutter, who would have guessed!! This week is going to be warm and sunny so plan to stay home a few days and work on getting clothes to stop hanging in inappropriate places. Also plan to spray weeds. I am so happy I feel complete with helping my friend, and can have quiet time working on my stuff this week. It will be fun to have group tomorrow. So thankful I am not alone in my clean quest.

Clothes are hard decisions to make.

What I do is concentrate on what I am keeping.

Blouses....
White, long sleeve
White, middi sleeve
White, short sleeve
and so on through all the different colors/styles.

My favorites all hung where I can see them. They all fit & flatter. Are in great shape.

All other white blouses can go now and I don't worry that I won't have anything to wear.

Try to set a limit on the number of each item you need and have space to properly store.

I allow myself a total of 40 assorted styles/colors of blouses because that is how many I can properly store.

When I get a new blouse I must get rid of one that I already have.

Once you can see what you are keeping it makes it easier to let go of the others. 🙂

thanks Tillie, I appreciate your support and daily posts. Today I was slow so didn't get much done, did talk with a few friends. Tomorrow I will be going to a friends house to meet her aunt that she just moved over here, and discuss which home to move aunt into. I have been making to do lists, but today didn't do everything on list. I am not going to get the newspaper delivered anymore. I read paper and do puzzles, and they pile up, so wasting time and space. I am progressing by just not shopping all the time. Going through clothes is so difficult, just want to avoid it. when I see clothes hanging on doors, hooks on walls and over the dryer, I know I must go through the discomfort of making decisions on which clothes to let go of. so many clothes-------

BIG WTG! on getting that yard stuff all out for pick up AND not recrapping AND not acquiring! 😀

So true that over filling our personal space can not protect us and even keeps us from the things that we really need to help us, contact with others.

These terrible events can and do help us to keep our priorities straight.
To treasure the things, events and people who truly matter.

(((hugs))) 🙂

got lots of debris out for free debris pickup this morning, of course, wish I could have done more, remind myself to celebrate all that I did get done.
Today will do dishes, clean counters, go through at least one bin of clutter. It is cloudy, wind expected to be up to 40-50 mph. Good day to accomplish inside work. I have continued to limit acquiring, which has prevented recrapping, hooray. would really like to see some progress in here, working on yard crap, not inside this week, so will be good to make some visual progress. This Boston Marathon has really affected me, brought personal feelings of helplessness in the face of others evil. I am clearly seeing that stuff surrounding me won't save me from harm, I have felt my stuff protected me, not so.

Sunny most of the day until now, watered plants outside, collected more junk for debris pickup tomorrow. My friend did bring her aunt here sucessfully and we are working on solutions to her problems. I quickly started trying to solve all the problems. For years I have focused on others and their problems rather than dealing with my own problems. It has been a good reminder, that I prefer to work on others stuff. So today, I started obsessing on my friend and her aunt, and had to stop myself and focus back on working on clutter, knowing that until she calls there is nothing I can do today for her. So happy I have this site to write on, so I can learn more about myself. And I can look back at my writings to see what has changed.

Thanks Tillie, I slept til 7:30am and feel 20 times better today. Did kitchen maintenance cleaning, so much faster to clean without piles of junk. Filled up bags and 2 garbage cans for free debris pick up friday. It was sunny and less windy all day until now, so was able to get stuff ready for friday.
I was like a different person yesterday, just emotionally drained, I knew it would pass so just lived through it and today I am back to my hopeful self. Brought firewood in, starting to cool down think it was in the teens last night.

Hi Diane 🙂

Hope you got some good sleep and are feeling better today. 🙂

lack of sleep changes how I feel, today I feel worn out, sad, and want to do things, but difficult to follow through. I am not a nap taker so I just have to do the best I can today and sleep well tonight. It is cold and grey with some snow, that doesn't help. I will do basics, wash dishes, cook something healthy, drink enough water, start on dining room.

woke up at 5 this morning, couldn't sleep worrying about my friend as well as the boston marathon folks. Life throws curves, sometimes huge. My friend is driving over a snowey mountain pass to pick up her aunt who had a turn for the worst last night and went to ER. Good her husband knows how to drive in snow. After going to every adult foster home in the area yesterday, we got a call that aunt had to go to ER. I was able wo help my friend make good decisions about aunts care. I thank this site for helping me work on clutter and to realize friends are more important than acquiring stuff. I was helping her all day and there were no thoughts of resentment or wishing I was shopping, I was very present for my friend, I am so grateful to all of you that have given me insight into this acquiring addiction.

I am really looking forward to the day you can do your crafts and have a friend over.

Once the decluttering is finished keeping the place clean only takes a few minutes daily and a few hours a week to keep it up.

You will have time enough to enjoy your hobbies. 😀

I am starting to see how driven I am whether it is shopping or cleaning. When I start, I want to keep going, fortuneately it has been cleaning lately. I have so much to do. There is not even a goat trail in craft room now, so today started pulling stuff out, good to see some of it is plastic tubs that are empty, that I was going to sort stuf into last year. I have sorted alot of that stuff, last year, but now need to organize keeper stuff and get rid of the piles of junk I bought within the last year. I truly have enough of everything, and will believe it when I can see it. When it is piled up under bags of new junk, I forget I have it. Good I bought clear tubs to sort fabrics into. I talked to a crafter yesterday that does what I want to do and asked her how she doesn't have piles. She explained her organizing system, good reminder of how it can help me be more creative when organized. Once organized, it would be such a treat to have a fellow crafter over for a craft afternoon. It really is like there is a different person inhabiting my thinking!!!!!! Before this site, I was sure, all I wanted was to be alone, just less stuff, now I see glimpses of a different life.

Thanks Tillie, I want you to know how much your support has meant to me, knowing you will be on here daily makes me know I can be consistent and go through the ups and downs of change.

Diane.

Have a wonderful time.
You really deserve this fun time after all you have done. 😀

love having this place to write my feelings it was sunny so wanted to go out in yard, did for coffee then continued making progress on my cleaning project, feels good to do what is in my best interest, not just pull weeds all day long.
Saturday, tomorrow is my day off, I have worked on this every day now it is time to go to a spring festival, and enjoy art, and get inspired by other artists. Soon my place will be in order enough, that I can create fun things. I have a serger, felting machine and sewing machine, plenty of felted wool sweaters, ready to go, and that will be my reward for all this hard work. I am very aware how not shopping has changed my life this past 19 days. Not having to deal with piles of new stuff has allowed me to deal with what is. I still have so much to get rid of but to have living room and kitchen mostly done is such a blessing, and I did it all myself with your help and advice. Thanks-----

Another day of great progress. It is amazing to me that I am actually sticking to the cleaning, and not shopping. I have talked to at least one friend a day on the phone although tomorrow will be the first day in awhile I see friends in person. My focus has been on making progress, I even had the thought, that I could have a friend over for tea soon. Shocked me, since I had the belief I kept clutter to keep people away. I have no idea what will be comfortable once place is clean, other than that, I will be comfortable, I am open to having friends over if it is comfortable. All I know for sure is that having this message board and Sunday meeting online has given me hope again, that I can have a comfortable life. Who would have guessed that shopping for treasures could ruin a persons life!!!

Most "normal" folks may clean under the fridge once a year.
Many only clean under it when for some reason the fridge gets pulled out.

I wash down the kitchen walls twice a year and that's when I clean under the fridge because it is pulled out so I can wash the wall behind it.

The coils on my fridge are on the bottom and not on the back so I can vacuum those about every month.
It really needs it once a month because of all the dust, lint and cat hair that gets in there.
I had to buy a special long skinny brush to get all the fuzzies off.

I am not strong enough to pull the fridge, stove or washer out and need "him" to do that for me and most times it is hard or impossible to get him to do this.
Under my stove and washer are the filthiest places in my "NO CLUTTER ZONES".

Most "normal" people never clean under their stoves, washers & dryers. 😀

Thanks Tillie for the mice advice, like your ideas, will do. Glad you are feeling better. How often do normal folks clean under refrigerator? I appreciate you so much and all of your wisdom. Happy to hear you took a day off from work and just enjoyed your day.

(((HUGS))) Diane.

Sometimes life gets in the way of our plans.
Can't tell you how very proud I am of you for doing all that hard dirty work.

Something I discovered...
Some mice can lick all the peanut butter off the traps without tripping them.
So, what I did was to tie a piece of kibble or other food to the trap trigger then smear the peanut butter all over the piece of food.
The mouse will grab the peanut butter covered food and that triggers the trap. 😉

If you can discover where mice are coming in from
Stuff the hole with steel wool. They won't chew on that and it helps stops them from getting in.

Mine were coming in through the small space in the wall where the kitchen plumbing went through.

Had my first major melt down today. Did dishes then noticed how dirty toaster was so moved it and discovered a pile of dirt , moved refrigerator out for the first time in years apparently, and started crying when I saw the extent of the crap piled up and stuck to floor, spider webs in coils, mouse droppings, stuff hardened on floor, note pad, etc. etc. I started cleaning then called a friend when I realized how huge this is. She encouraged me to take it step by step. Clean up loose stuff then soak crud until soft enough to get up, vacumed the coils, got rid of dust and spider webs, cleaned wall and side of refrigerator that had food on it. Pulled out stove and did the same, took several hours but it is done. I felt upset that this wasn't on my to-do list for today, but when I saw how bad it was decided to get rid of the health hazard. I am exhausted, still have to put mouse traps behind refrigerator and stove before putting center counter back between them. My friend that I talked to is bringing over peanut butter for the traps, I will work on cleaning the rest of kitchen floor, it is all filthy. I am disgusted how I let all the dirt pile up and not even seeing it. I really think that will be the worst dirt I will have to deal with in this process. Sure did mess up my fun day I had planned.

yes, Tillie, when I made coffee this am, the clutter made me anxious, so did dishes, need to practice doing dishes when done eating so don't have to go through this every few days. It is almost like I am getting away with something when I don't do maintenance, now will try to get the same good feelings from doing maintenance. Change is not easy, really trying to see that the change is for my benefit and pleasure, not a punishment. Thank you Tillie for all the input. I am feeling like I am so slow, but it hasn't even been 3 weeks, so changing my thinking to realize that this is a long term change and it is ok to some daily and celebrate progress. My fear is that it will be my full time job forever to unclutter. As long as I stop shopping, there will be an end to the clutter. Ok, back to kitchen to put away dishes, clean stove top, counter tops.

Tillie
I wish that you could tell my mother that cluttered space causes stress.

She so needs to hear it from someone in her position or former postion.

She admits that she knows what the problem is but is stil in denial that she needs help mentally.

It's more than a material thing. It's also a mental thing to recover from.

Cluttered spaces cause anxiety.
You are replacing shopping with making calm spaces for yourself.

After I decluttered all his stuff from the inside of the house I really enjoyed arranging and rearranging things in here.
I still do enjoy that. 😀
Keeps everything looking fresh and new.

When people say that "less is more" what that means is when there is less, the more we can appreciate what is here.

Unless you ever iron curtains, table cloths or other long wide things, the smaller board would probably be alright.

(((hugs)))

my last post was really long and only a little is on here. At the risk of repeating. I was worried I would feel empty with junk out of living room, the truth is I was able to keep my favorite things and it is really warm and inviting in here. Looked a little odd to have nothing but computer on end table, have already adjusted to it, and feel more peaceful with just computer and not the bin of paperwork. Amazing to me that things are actually changing. It took so much of my time shopping and figuring out what to do with all new stuff. Now I have time to deal with what is here. It was an addiction, had to go shopping when anxious, now I go outside and work when too anxious inside. takes at least 21 days to change a habit and it has been 16 days with no shopping. It is so great that I have hope again. Thanks everyone

The ironing board, stacked with clutter, is now cleared off, and I think I should give it away. It is a full size ironing board, and I have a tiny place, can use a tiny ironing board the few times I iron.

Hello all,

The reason to set a timer for 5,10, or 15 minutes max is because completing a task can become overwhelming.
When you're feeling overwhelmed you won't want to do it.
That is why a little at a time goes a long,long way and the feeling of satisfactory and happiness soon follow after the timed goal is completed.

Good job. 🙂 Keep up the good work. 🙂

Thank you Diane 🙂

Sometimes it is hard to get back to task.

That is when setting a timer for 10 minutes or putting on some music and working for a few songs helps.

We can do almost anything when we know we only have to do it for a few minutes and then get to stop. 🙂

I tell myself I only have to do this for 10 minutes!
But when the timer dings I see how much I have gotten done and go ahead and finish the task.

It took hours to go through papers and stack of stuff. I did get done with 2 end tables, but it took all day, what takes so long? Well started shuffling, then got some done, then a friend called, difficult to get started again, took a couple hours to get started again, not sure why, I was trying, just couldn't focus. I am done for now, so happy we have this message board.