NOT SURE WHERE TO START

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Not sure where to start
Reader66
Posted: 08 March 2015 - 04:31 PM
 

hello,

Inspired by the "please post if you are a reader" topic, I want to say hello, and maybe get some advice.

I would say I am not an "active hoarder" but I have the mindset to hoard. I was a single mother, very poor with a bunch of little kids and the only thing that saved me was hoarding things like toilet paper, paper towels, feminine products, and food for a couple months before my husband left. I think that is where it started.

Now, my home is relatively neat. You can come into my front door, into a very neat uncluttered living room, dining, room, and kitchen. The kitchen and bathrooms are clean. No hoards there. Kids rooms are fine. Hallways fine. Here is the problem.

My two car garage is packed to the hilt with boxes and bags. I have gone through all of them and there is nothing I want to part with. My office is stacked with boxes of things that belonged to my parents and grandparents, all deceased, so I feel I need to keep all the items. My bedroom has boxes and rubbermaid tubs all over the place, full of stuff. I have gotten rid of so much stuff to goodwill and the dump and what is left I think I have to keep. But it takes up my whole bedroom, garage, office, half the family room, all the closets and the guest room. I can't find anything and want to fix this but get stuck every time I try.

What is in the stash that I think I have to keep:

clothing for both me and my youngest (I keep thinking about being poor, saving the clothes just in case, and saving her outgrown things to re-sell on ebay if we become poor again)

tons of cords, batteries, chargers, electronics parts that all go to SOMETHING but not sure what goes to what

lots of photos that I intend to scan and save and put into books

Things that were my children's when they were little that remind me of them

Baby toys, baby books, stuffed animals, high chairs, play pens etc because I bought all new for my youngest, and may have grandkids in 5 years or so and think I can use them for grandbabies. All in nice condition.

Appliances that don't fit in my small kitchen but that I used a couple times a year (food processor, mini blender, juicer, bread maker, crock pot, pans, etc etc)

Toys my kids outgrew but I think they will want them someday

Random things like candles, markers, school supplies, photo frames, trinkets given to me or from my childhood, camping gear, fishing poles, sports gear my kids might use, old computer disks with files on them I need to copy, lotions, vitamins, dog treats and toys, toys I bought to give as presents for parties, extra socks and underwear, greeting cards, cleaning supplies (lots of dusters, brushes, mop heads etc), fitness equipment... gosh there is a ton of stuff. Tricycles, scooters, bike tires... everything.

When I think of selling things I get overwhelmed. When I think of giving things away I get worried I will need them (Oh yeah this is what that cord was for!) or running out of money.

I have so many boxes and when I try to go through I do not know where anything goes, and I do not have room to set up a sorting space or room to store stuff.

Can anyone give me a starting point? How to get over it and do something? I watch Hoaders and try to get sorting and end up getting nowhere.

 

Replies (77)

Tatoulia
Posted: 20 May 2015 - 07:46 PM
 

Thanks for checking in, Reader! The frozen feeling is a familiar one. I know you can break it. Things I've done In the past include reading posts on this site, picking something "easy," challenging myself to do 15 minutes at a time, going over old ground to protect it from backsliding, and challenging myself to get one bag of trash or donations done in a day. The stuck feeling will go away. I know the frustration and I know the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Don't forget, even though you are feeling stuck, you've still been able to list some accomplishments. And for that, I applaud you.

Keep in touch.

 
Reader66
Posted: 20 May 2015 - 08:56 AM
 

I can't seem to get a grip. I got the living room done, bookshelves all dusted, etc, but then got stuck and my kitchen bar is piled so high with stuff I am embarrassed of it. I try to stay on top of it but it is so hard.

Today I will drop off a box and a bag at Goodwill and figure out the clothing situation in my bedroom. I can't really figure out what to do beyond that (there is plenty to do but I feel frozen to start on anything).

I did clean out the fridge last week and it is clean and neat.

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 18 May 2015 - 10:33 AM
 

Just checking in! Write when you can!

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 30 April 2015 - 08:41 PM
 

I vacuumed bedroom and folded and put away laundry. The rest of the house is a scene. I need to just do. I have been chilling away at paper pile on coffee table but it's not enough. I want a clean and clear house.

Maybe I'll make a list of tasks to do and then work on it over the weekend. I am so much happier when house is livable. And it just isn't livable right now,

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 29 April 2015 - 09:38 AM
 

Hello, I too need to do some Spring cleaning. The clutter creep is in full force! Since I've been doing a good job on bedroom, I will dust and straighten it up today. I need to vacuum it too. I'm trying, trying, trying to keep bedroom clutter free, which mainly means folding laundry as soon as it is done. I know how you feel, Reader, I need all the help and encouragement I can get--

I will report back on my progress. Hope to hear how you are doing. I know it's tough to post when there's little to post. But I'll try to do a few things today to get myself back on track. I do better when I post.

 
Reader66
Posted: 28 April 2015 - 01:09 PM
 

Thanks Tillie. Some days I just wish I could close my eyes and throw everything in a dumpster. But then I know I would have a panic attack when I started realizing the items I got rid of. It only takes a couple of times of donating/tossing an item only to need it 2 weeks later, to get a little paranoid about getting rid of things. But I want a clutter free, or low clutter life where everything in my home is something I use or treasure. So I have to do this.

I will focus on the spring cleaning this week, getting the living room nice and fresh (carpets done and all) and then maybe next week I will WANT to get the pictures and art out and hang them in the fresh clean room.

 
Tillie
Posted: 28 April 2015 - 10:10 AM
 

Hi 🙂

Spring cleaning, washing/cleaning curtains, carpets and getting some deep cleaning done is GREAT!
If you tackle it one small area at a time that should help motivate you when you see the fresh clean spaces.
Decluttering gets overwhelming with all the decisions you need to make to do it and changing gears once in a while is necessary to keep moving toward your ultimate goals.
So, I suggest that you do some Spring cleaning right now, since that is what you truly want to be doing right now.
If/when you get the motivation to do some decluttering, do a fast little sort out here & there.
Look to see if there is an easy decision to make on something, one thing, and then do that one thing to completion, toss, donate or put it away in another place.
We all have periods where we lose motivation, get burned out, and the best thing to do when that happens is to change gears and work on something different.
Sometimes we need to take time out to take care of ourselves and get some rest and recreation.

 
Reader66
Posted: 28 April 2015 - 01:10 AM
 

So it's been 2 weeks and I am back to feeling kind of paralyzed. I am watching Hoarders and the lady said the same thing about feeling paralyzed. I still have the box in my bedroom and the tub in my living room and have not dealt with any of it or looked through it. I have done basically nothing to continue with the decluttering. I am right now trying to do some spring cleaning (wash curtains, clean carpets, dusting) but I don't know how to get motivated or get moving again on the other stuff. The piles are building in the dining room. I need some encouragement or something.

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 17 April 2015 - 09:13 PM
 

So glad to hear from you, Reader. Your choices and thought-processes are very much appreciated. Think how happy someone will be to get that toddler headboard. That is such a gift. What a beautiful donation.

I'm out of time but will find time to savor your post later. Congratulations! Thank you for posting.

 
Tillie
Posted: 16 April 2015 - 01:12 PM
 

WOW!!!!
FANTASTIC PROGRESS!!! 😀
GREAT job you have done!.
Enjoy all your hard work, you've earned it.

Thanks so much for the update. 😀

The emotional souvenirs like the letters and such, do them slowly.
One or two pieces a day.
We don't want you to get emotionally burned out so take your time sorting through them. 🙂

 
Reader66
Posted: 16 April 2015 - 11:32 AM
 

It's been awhile and wanted to check in. I enjoyed reading your updates! I have done done much. I was busy doing my taxes and things like that but now it is done.

Yesterday my son asked me to get my "stuff" out of his room. The closet, a 5 shelf thing, and one wall shelf had all my stuff on them and he wanted some space. So I did it, I moved everything. I put one tub in the garage because it is baby things I can't deal with right now. I moved a pretty red glass candle holder up to my living room. It was my mother's when I was little and is dusty and hasn't been used in 20+ years but I am washing it and using it for my candles now. I moved a box of "special" things into my bedroom; it is full of very emotional, special momentos like letters from my deceased father, my first husband, etc and I am going to go through it and decide what to do with it. I moved a huge rubbermaid tub right to the middle of the living room because it is full of frames, pictures, and wooden carvings that I need to hang or display or donate.

I also put a full box in the car for Goodwill. There were 2 nice games, still wrapped and never used that my kids never used but I know won't get used now either. There's a mouse and a keyboard and a few other things. I also found a new, in the box, bubble wrapped pink princess toddler bed headboard. It was a replacement piece for a slightly damaged one we got when my girl was little. I saved it but never used it. I am donating that as well.

Goals for this week are to empty the tub in the living room and the box in my bedroom.

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 10 April 2015 - 04:23 PM
 

Hi Reader. Just checking in to see how it's going. My sister was in town yesterday and she took two boxes for me. One has some of my mother's books and mom's place isn't big enough for them, so I asked my sister to take and store. I also gave her a box of miscelleous, old dishes, likely our grandmother's. I told her to sort through and do what she likes. From my brief glance into the box the dishes were Limoges so my sister will enjoy the treasure hunt aspect. I got rid of a dearly loved lamp that I don't want to use anymore. This was a big step. I've had it 20 years but have decluttered all surfaces in bedroom and the lamp wS one of the casualties. I love the lamp but need to have fewer things.

Hope you are well

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 08 April 2015 - 11:50 AM
 

I changed the sheer curtains under the drapes in my bedroom. Boy they were filthy and tattered. I borrowed a ladder and out the new ones up. They make my bedroom seem fresher.

I have gathered a bag of things to take to good will and will take to car today. I am maintaining on vacuuming the bedroom and dusting it. I will continue to forge ahead, trying so hard to establish new habits.

 
Tillie
Posted: 08 April 2015 - 10:13 AM
 

Doing a little bit here and there will begin to add up.
Soon you will see the clear & clean areas start to connect together.

Maintenance is important in the clean areas.
Daily, look around and do a quick tidying up to keep them nice.
This way you won't have to re-do them. 😀

Keep up all this GREAT! progress you are making. 🙂

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 06 April 2015 - 08:09 AM
 

Your feelings are natural and very familiar. If I were you, I'd start with something noticeable, such as hanging the artwork. Of course, you can start anywhere--maybe packing the heirlooms will give you some relief? Just find a place to start.

We all know the paralysis, and it is possible to break through. Just keep posting and reading to find inspiration and support--we are here for the ups and the downs!

Today, reading your post, makes me realize that I'm stuck on a few things, too, and I need to take care of them. I will pick a project and report back after work today. Keep your chin up! There's lots to do, to be sure, but you've done a lot too! You are in a much better place then you were a month or two ago!

 
Reader66
Posted: 05 April 2015 - 11:13 PM
 

Okay. So this thread has helped me because reading it I realize how paralyzed I felt about the playroom situation when I first posted. I mean it felt like I literally could not do anything with it. Yet now it is completed. So now I know that even though there are other things I feel paralyzed about, and think I cannot possibly even start on them, that I CAN get through it and get it done.

I don't want to stop now and be complacent. I want to keep making more space and neatness in my home. I need to

1. organize the computers and files
2. deal with all the photos
3. hang the pictures
4. display and pack away the rest of my family heirlooms

and do other random cleaning and organizing and getting rid of stuff.

I will keep trying. I am back in that state of looking at it and feeling overwhelmed and doing nothing, but I remember how one day the playroom just suddenly felt doable and I went with it. I will update my progress this week with this stuff. I hope I can do this.

 
LR2014
Posted: 04 April 2015 - 08:41 PM
 

That's awesome, Reader66!

 
bitsy
Posted: 04 April 2015 - 04:28 PM
 

YES!!!

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 04 April 2015 - 08:35 AM
 

What a great story! I love it! You are doing a great job all around!

 
Tillie
Posted: 02 April 2015 - 06:12 PM
 

YEA!!!!
WAY TO GO!!!! for you and your daughter!

😀

 
Reader66
Posted: 02 April 2015 - 05:06 PM
 

Thanks guys!

Well you won't believe this, but there is the little post script to my play room story. When I was done, my daughter had several boxes and bins of toys in there playing. Yesterday, she dragged all the boxes of her things out into the hallway because she wanted her play room to be nice and neat. And today I suggested we sort her things! We got a trash bag and a donate box and we are doing one bin at a time (so she is not overwhelmed). I pick up each item, she says "trash" "donate" or "keep" and if she says keep, she goes and puts it away! We will finish this today and my girl will have all her things where she can find them!

So proud of myself for making this change and being a good example to my daughter.

 
LR2014
Posted: 02 April 2015 - 09:46 AM
 

Hi, Reader66. I post on some of the other threads and just started reading this thread a few days ago. I'm excited to get the chance to follow your progress! How wonderful that you've finished the playroom project! That must feel terrific! (It feels great to me, and I don't even live at your house!) Way to go!

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 01 April 2015 - 01:27 PM
 

CONGRATULATIONS, reader! I am very impressed and very pleased! Keep up the good work. I saw your other post on heirlooms and agree with Tillie's advice. The only thing that I would consider getting rid of, and this is what I Would consider and not suggesting that you Should--is the records. But honestly, your list is small and there is meaning and comfort there for you. I say, concentrate on other things, and while making decisions on those other things, remind yourself you have the precious heirlooms, and those are the important things to keep.

Please keep posting--I love reading your posts and hearing about your accomplishments! I feel rejuvenated every time I read your words!

 
Reader66
Posted: 31 March 2015 - 02:24 PM
 

Thank you!

Good news. I did it! I got all the stuff out of the playroom! My daughter is in there right now playing with her friend and I feel so very happy that I did this for her.

I ended up having to move some things back into my bedroom, more than just one tub, but I am going to take it out of the boxes and set it all up. I have a printer, a photo copier, and a video camera in boxes all new and ready to use, so at least now I have all their parts together in one place so I can get that done instead of digging around trying to find parts.

Today I sorted in the garage a bit, consolidated some boxes of things and threw out one bag of stuff and 3 empty boxes. Now I can walk a nice clear path through the garage.

I think I am done for the day. Yesterday took a lot out of me!

My next goal is to get all the important stuff off my oldest computer (2002 I believe) onto my newer one, make copies on disks or a zip drive, and get rid of the old computer and its huge, bulky monitor. Then I will have ONE desktop on a desk with plenty of space to work! I will get to that in a few days.

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 30 March 2015 - 05:45 PM
 

WOW! Great work. Yes, it always takes longer than the mental estimate. You are doing great! I love it when I am at a roll! The tougher times for me are when I'm not on a roll!

I hope you are feeling satisfied and proud of yourself! Very important to stay positive instead of getting mad at yourself for having so much stuff in the first place. I've ridden this roller coaster!

Thanks so much for posting--posting helps me too. Feels good to be somewhere where everybody knows, really knows, just how hard this is. We have a great group here and I'm glad you are part of it.

 
Reader66
Posted: 30 March 2015 - 01:42 PM
 

Thanks Dave! Tatoulia I am so glad you are working on it too! This thread is helping me immensely and I am so glad Dave encouraged lurkers to post or I never would have.

Today I am doing the hard stuff. I thought it would be "just take the things in the cardboard boxes in the play room and move them to the tubs" but it has been a real project. I have worked on it for 2 hours so far today. I found another tub. So I am moving each item from the 3 big tubs/boxes, one by one, to the closest place I think they should go. There is a trash bag, a donate box, a rubbermaid tub that will stay in my room, and a rubbermaid tub that will stay in the garage. But wow, I found so much stuff. I found about 25 bags and boxes of dog treats! I only have 2 dogs but I guess I kept misplacing treats, thinking I was out, and buying more! I am cancelling my Amazon Prime autoships of dog treats right now. I have enough for 6 months or a year! I have not figured out where to put them yet so they are piled in a corner.

I am also finding all those random cords that I don't know what they go to so am putting those in the tub for my room and will figure that out later. I am parting with about 1/4 of the stuff I am going through. Maybe 1/3, even. But it is all going in its place (dog grooming items in the drawer for them, lighters and kitchen stuff in the kitchen, paperwork on top of the file cabinet, CDs all together, etc.) My goal for today is a big one: to get ALL of my junk out of that playroom and turn it over to my daughter!

I sat down to type this and have an iced coffee for some energy. Now will go back to work!

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 30 March 2015 - 12:38 PM
 

Hi Reader! Just checking in--am working on a donation bag and pulling previously "non-negotiable" items in it--stuff that a year ago I never, ever would have parted with. Dishware and some books. A random lot but it will make me feel good to have more space. Just want to live and breathe. It gets easier and easier to say no. I don't acquire nearly as much and I'm giving away with a carefree hand. Keep up the good work! It's hard and some days it's really hard. But we can do it!

 
Tatoulia
Posted: 28 March 2015 - 09:10 AM
 

Yes! Fantastic! So proud! You are doing great! Especially like the sentiment about whatever doesn't fit, has got to go!

Keep it up but don't forget, we are here for the ups and the downs and the times in-between! Don't be afraid to post at any point during the cleanout (although admitted more fun when there is progress). Buying two tubs instead of six--already you are learning new rules and estaishing new patterns.

Your post made me very happy today!!!! You have re-energized me and I will work on something this weekend and will get back to you!

 
dave
Posted: 27 March 2015 - 09:28 PM
 

And just in case you hadn't noticed, when you started posting your posts were full of fear and doubt and uncertainty. you are now posting joyfully about things that are allowing you to live your life better now.

 
dave
Posted: 27 March 2015 - 07:52 PM
 

You are making cleaning progress and giving yourself shopping therapy too. Leaving stuff in the store and dealing with the "I shoulda boughts" is extremely difficult for me. Good you are starting to practice. The toyroom sounds nice and I think you are doing great with the idea of "allocated space".

 
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