My Mom has recently asked my son and I to live with her because she is 74, and there is things that she cannot do alone, plus is having TIA (strokes) and fears being alone. I love my mom, and want to help any way I can. The problem is she is a hoarder.

A few years ago I had cancer treatment and had to give up my home, so we stayed at mom's for awhile. The morale is so low not having my own things, then trying to live in the little hallways between her stuff. We have our own tidy place, so I told her one of my conditions of moving my son and I there would be to gut her basement and we could have our own living area. She agreed, so I knew she had put some thought into this. Her words were "Yes, I will get rid of stuff or throw it away". I know her heart is there, and she is serious about us coming to her home, however her saying these things and actually doing them are two different things.

My Mom has been a collector for as long as I remember, years ago she had an aneurysm and brain surgery and went full out hoarding.

I am trying to do this with kid gloves, and show her that even organizing the stuff you realize it is not as much as it looks like. But she wont throw broken things away, and she wants to save everything, I know there are mice in her house and I am trying to at least declutter for that reason, and the fact that if she ever needed help, paramedics would not enter her house, I have explained all these things to her!

We spent 45 minutes together today and all she wanted to do was relocate 'stuff'. I am trying to be patient and was hoping to spend the whole day but I left in frustration as after 45 minutes we had only 3 things in a box to give away. I reminded her that if we cannot get through this process then I cannot move in, and that time is ticking. I feel awful saying these things as I know hoarding is a sickness, and I really want to be nurturing through this process. How do I handle this with her? I need advice.