Hello Nicole,

I can relate to you. My husband buys cases of canned goods and keeps so many books and bookcases are overflowing. He never goes to the bookcase, just orders more books.

I am a cleaner married to a hoarder for 34 years. I hear the same things, such as I am buying this for the garage I am GOING to have one day. I have managed to keep it all very organized but it is getting to be too much. It is the only thing we fight about. It is a full time job just cleaning up after him and organizing his crap. If my shelves get full I clean out my stuff and he sees and empty space and fills it.He wants me to sell his junk on ebay. So it is all my fault because I refuse to be a junk dealer. Hubby comes from three generations of collector/hoarders who all live on the ancestral farm in Ohio. His two brothers and sister live in completely nasty and unlivable houses. His dream is to move us there to retire. My only hope is to die before that happens.

I do not know if it will make you feel better but I am in the same situation only I have been married 30 years. At the beginning it was only books and papers, now is clothes, food and cheap objects. He goes out every weekend and buy books and clothes. I have a big house so we still function and I mange to clean small areas sometimes but I need to replace the carpet repaint etc.. and do not know how to deal with it. He also keeps empty bottles of shampoo, perfumes and other boxes. I cry because he does not aknowledge it and will never seek treatment. If things get worse I will consider divorce even if we are both almost 60 years old. He is a perfectionist and his mother is the same.

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Hey all,

I've known my husband about 10 years. Usually, he's the most considerate person. I met him when I was 18, and when my mom and I were having problems, his mom let me stay with them for about a year after I graduated.

When I met him, while he was living with his mother and brother, I knew that they were messy people. When I moved in and tried to de-clutter this mountain of letters his mom had, she convinced me it couldn't be done because she had to go through each one to see if any important information was in there (that was 7 years ago, and the mountain has just gotten bigger).

She also had this thing about buying tons and tons of food, despite it only being 3 people in the house. Seriously, she lives at Costco. And she cooks for a team of people, which of course leads to leftovers that she NEVER throws out. Her fridge is usually packed with spoiled food.

Having seen that, I wasn't surprised when my husband moved out into his own place and had a problem putting things away or leaving dishes to mount in the sink. The truth is I can get lazy too and won't clean up.

But, it wasn't until I finally moved in with him again last year into this tiny place that I realized something serious is going on.

He, like his mother, likes to buy a lot of food. To the point that we have to store some of it in the living room. He MUST buy everything in bulk ( according to him, he saves money that way b/c he buys sale items in bulk)

He also spends his nights perusing Ebay and Craigslist for "deals." He has taken on a hobby of maintaining a saltwater aquarium. He sees an aquarium tank on Craigslist and feels compelled to buy it for "when we move into a bigger place." FYI, we are both broke, and I'm currently job hunting.

So we currently have about 7 aquariums, and several of the same thing, b/c he finds a "deal" for a bigger and "better" one.

Of course, he AND I, are ashamed of the house, and don't invite anyone over.

When I decide to try to organize, it's a constant argument, b/c he feels he needs everything "just in case." Everything is "just in case."

Our house is 900 square feet, we don't have enough room for "just in case." But he refuses to see anything from my point of view. Instead, he wants to spend $3000 on a shed.

I'm at the point that I just throw things away now, and wait for him to yell at me and move on.

But I need a better way. He doesn't think he has a problem, and I can understand why. His mom did the same thing. But I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life!