Hi Beth,
I am a hoarder. I can identify with your situation. I can also identify with your grandmother. When I lost my husband of many years it became very difficult for me to let go of anything connected to him. You are going to have to allow her to take the time she needs to grieve.
Be open to talking to your grandmother about your grandfather as she leads. A very painful part of grief is having people around you who avoid talking about the person who has died. I am sure you have some pleasant memories of him you can share with her.
That may open the door for her to begin talking about what to do about the things.
Take care of yourself, Beth. We are here every day on the message boards to listen and support you.

Hi Beth,
Yes, Grief counselors can certainly work, and so can family therapy for everyone involved. However, people in their 80's don't typically respond as well to therapy as a younger patient. But, it is still definitely worth a try. You can also hire professionals to help you sort through the contents of the basement when the time is right, and they can help you isolate the items to sell vs. the junk. There are auction companies that can categorize items and place them in the appropriate auctions to get the most money. Hope that helps!

Cory Chalmers
HoardingCleanup.com
info@HoardingCleanup.com

Thank you for the response :-) I truly wish I could be more patient, but we're unfortunately facing her age (85) and the fact that she will most likely pass away within 10-15 years. Many of the items need to be sold or given to private collectors, which is a massive job in itself (I calculated out how long it would take us to sell the sellable items in the basement alone on eBay, and it would take around 80 years). I think the family counselor is the best route to take. I would love to hear anyone's stories on hoarding/grief counselors and if they helped!

Hi :)
Many people move too fast "helping" a widow.
She needs to grieve in her own time frame.
Taking over and moving out things is very very traumatic for widows.
Grief counseling would be nice for her.
Family counseling is also a very good way to proceed to get the family all together on the same page.
Please be very patient with your Grandmother. :)

Hi! I am hoping to gain some advice for a very tricky situation in my family. My grandfather was a hoarder of antiques and collectibles for about 50 years. He managed to fill a 2200 sq foot basement at their home floor to ceiling with items that range from extremely valuable pieces to complete junk - all of which is now covered in dust (no one sets foot in the basement). After he died 7 years ago, no one wants to do anything about the situation but just shut the door (there are many, many items throughout the rest of the home as well). If you walked in the home, you would never suspect what was under you or behind closed doors to certain rooms. My grandmother can't face the reality of the situation. My parents, the executors of the estate, would like to have this taken care of with a professional estate company now, but it's like running into an emotional brick wall with my grandmother and some of my aunts and uncles. I would love to stay out of it, but I'm the most rational, business savy person in the family who has the motivation to "do" something rather than just saying they will do something. We are a large, tight-knit family with some very unhealthy codepency going on. Are we at a point where professional counseling should be brought in? I'm starting to wonder if a third party specialist is our only option to get out of this situation. Any advice is very much appreciated!