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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Hoarding
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Posted: 05 March 2016 - 01:50 PM
bump to top for someone to find
Posted: 30 December 2013 - 11:35 AM
Hi Bob :)
so sorry to hear about your situation.
I too live with a hoarder.
If possible, a therapist for her would be great.
Meanwhile, we cannot change others, we can only change ourselves.

What I finally ended up doing was to move all his clutter out of the main living areas of the house.
Cleaned these spaces and told him that these are "NO CLUTTER ZONES".
He was very very angry, but I live here too.
I do not allow anything to be left laying around or piled up in these areas.
I can live with the garage, carport, yard and his bedroom all hoarded because I have normal living space inside now.
I am still trying to get him to change but he has shown no real interest in ever changing.

So if you are going to stick it out there look around and find solutions to your problem.
Clear & clean one bedroom for yourself and your clothes.
Or maybe clear & clean a bathroom.
Once you have made a clear area for yourself defend it daily.
Keep it clean & tidy, do not allow any clutter to gather there.
She may like the clear space you make and it might motivate her to start decluttering too.

Good luck & best wishes.
Please stick around and read and post with us to let us know how you are doing. :)
Posted: 30 December 2013 - 08:37 AM
My wife of 55+ years has evolved into a classic hoarder. I love her dearly, but I can no longer live in the house she has trashed. Every room in the house, basement, garage, 2 outbuildings and caches around the front and area of the lot is overflowing with contraband from shopping trips and years of accumulation. She has told me repeatedly for the past 30+ years she will try to do better, but it has never happened. What can I do? Initially, I built storage shelves in lots of places and have tried to understand her need to hoard stuff, but it has become totally inundated - all cabinets and closets are overflowing and stuff is stacked against the cabinets and in from t of the closets. Evidently she refuses to acknowledge this condition I live in and I'm at my wits end. She will not, repeat will not, listen to me nor will she admit she has a problem. Suggestions, besides a divorce and moving out.
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