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Hi Darlene,
Helping your mom is going to be a long, hard process no matter what level of hoard she is in. The most important thing is to keep loving her and not be judgmental.
My live out daughter used to try to reason with me or tell me how sad it made her to see me live like that. It didn't help. What did help was when she stopped trying to fix the problem and offered to be there in whatever way she could help. Then she went about her life and we maintained a relationship where she didn't need to come to my house. When I ask for help she is right there to do whatever without pushing. When I just want to cry about it she'll ask first do you want my advice or do you just want me to listen. This non-judgmental support has let me begin the process of dejunking on my own.
A lot depends on how bad the hoard is, how old your mom is and whether she is able to do the work (it may take years). The level of urgency changes if she has no heat, working appliances or bathroom facilities. Also if you are living with her for an extended period you need (have a right) to have areas that belong to you to keep clean and clear.
To start, try getting up real trash ~ paper plates, food wrappers, etc. Hopefully she doesn't have an attachment to those things. If she feels like your picking up of trash is a statement of you thinking she lives in filth she may get angry. You could explain that in return for you being able to stay there you'd like to help with chores. Don't touch anything right away that she thinks is her stuff. You could get the mail and toss junk and separate bills. You could try to prepare some healthy meals for her. When you're doing your laundry do some for her. Set it in an area where she can use it easily.
Maybe caring for some of those basic needs for her will help her to feel safe with you there. A lot of hoarders live with fear. Trust and acceptance can go a long way in helping. If she begins to open up to you about how she feels then you can ask how you can help her. I wouldn't worry too much about how she got in that place, unless she feels like talking it out. However it happened it's done. Now the focus can be more positive and making steps to move forward.
Check the library for books on hoarding. Read up on the internet. Read these threads to get insights into what hoarders go thru. Some people have made great progress, some live with others who hoard. Bottom line there is only so much you can do to help your mom. It may be so painful for you but like an addict she needs to be willing to work at changing.
If she's not ready just continue to do what you can to live well yourself. Hopefully in time she will want to join you.
Take good care ~~
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