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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : What is next?
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What is next?

Posted: 30 October 2020 - 03:34 PM
Hello Breeze
Sorry you have this problem.

Adults are allowed to do what they want to do even if it is not the right thing for them.

Unfortunately what you describe may be the outcome.

The health department or adult protective services, etc. can and do immediately put people out of their homes if the place is dangerous to live in.
Landlords usually have to take about 3 months to execute an eviction notice.

It is confusing as to why she is holding on so very hard to the things but it is actually really not about the things.
It is about what they represent to her.

To many hoarders the stuff is their protection from poverty or represent a safety wall from the big scary world.
Many fear losing the memories of people, places and things.

The arguments you have with her are coming from a place of irrational fear, but to her the fear is very real.

To help you, please read the book
"Digging Out".
A great book to help you work with her is
"Buried In Treasures.

Some people need therapy.
At the top of this thread is a link to "National Resources" and there are other helpful links posted up there also.

Good luck and best wishes.

Autumn Breeze
Posted: 30 October 2020 - 10:09 AM
We have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my mother in law sort her stuff so she can go with us to Florida in a year. Almost a year has gone my and only a few visits to her home ended in arguements/screaming matches over things as silly as a 30 year old sweatshirt that doesn't fit and a 60 year old drill with an exposed electrical cord she just can't get rid of, etc.

So my question is, if we somehow do what WE want and move to FL and she doesn't, is the next step we are waiting for is eviction, because she can't afford to stay in her home and is running out of money. I'm serious, is it really down to waiting for "the call" of "they kicked me out of my own home and I am sitting on the driveway homeless!"? Then all her stuff gets cleared up from the bank and she is handed a bill for it??

Not trying to be morbid, but I like to know what is coming down the pipeline, and am sure that someone here has some good insight on this matter.

Any suggestions would be helpful.
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