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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Hoarder Finally Got Cited & Offered Help Which They Rejected
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Hoarder Finally Got Cited & Offered Help Which They Rejected

Posted: 27 January 2019 - 10:20 AM

That is what almost always happens when a person who hoards has a forced clean up.

People need to be ready and willing to accept help with learning new habits and ways of thinking and living.
All a forced clean up does is make room for more mess.
But we can not force people to accept therapy against their will, just doesn't work that way.

I believe the people who's homes she has things stored at can consider the items "abandoned" and can dispose of them as they see fit.
It has been over a decade.

Thanks for the update and take care of yourself
Posted: 26 January 2019 - 07:32 AM
Should add they use their health issues as an excuse when it's convenient yet they talk and act like they are healthy and have all the time in the world. Alot of reminiscing to deflect as well. They will not see a doctor for obvious health issues. Or accept they need live in care or a nursing home at this point.

They also are abusing a senior friend's courtesy offer who let them store stuff in their house over a decade ago and want it out. They said they were going to move into a bigger place over the next few years which never happened. They've been offered help for years getting rid of it or taking it to storage but other issues with most involved means a moving service will be needed to get it to a storage unit. We knew there would be trouble when she complained about relatives and close friends wanted her stuff out of their place as well.

Problem now is the initial citation tripped follow up visits because actual repairs have to be completed or they will face the consequences for lack of maintenance and not just a hoard. They also have one room full of boxes and stuff that was overlooked or allowed since there was a path to the windows in the room. But repairs must be completed in that room after it's emptied.
Posted: 26 January 2019 - 12:02 AM
A little follow up. The hoarder is starting to fall into old habits spilling food, not cleaning it up nor noticing it.It's bad because it was in a bedroom. Also the kitchen seems to be their trouble area that they pile a lot of stuff including paper product on the sink counter top among other places which looks bad and traps moisture.

Their attitude is deteriorating or regressing coping the same attitude that got them into trouble with the authorities in the first place at times very combative or simply doesn't seem to get it. They also still deny their health is an issue yet it takes them 5 minutes to walk to and answer the door or transport items between rooms.

Posted: 14 December 2018 - 03:29 PM
Hi :)

Thank you so very much for the update!


Fingers still crossed that she will enjoy those clear clean spaces and happily continue to keep up with clearing and cleaning.

More visits and inspections tend to be very motivating to not backslide.

You all did FANTASTIC! :D
Posted: 14 December 2018 - 09:18 AM
Well,the hoarder finally passed the big inspection and is the clear for a while anyway. Finally a volunteer told her upfront get stuff out period. So the volunteers arranged for storage and created huge open spaces in all but one room which still had a path to the window. She's upset she can't have paper work or boxes in the kitchen but she also got away with a lot of cardboard boxes under furniture and in a spare bedroom . After I cleaned up the volunteers clean up the place had a different look just by the amount of light reflecting off the walls. Place even smells different with regular cleaning and less stuff impeding air circulation.

There's still some looming trouble because she had to sign paperwork with social services and the inspectors want now accessible repairs completed meaning more regular routine visits/inspections.

But she's still in her own home.

I thank this board and Tillie for input and support.
Posted: 26 November 2018 - 10:48 AM

That is so frustrating when they hyper focus on such little things.
All the while the bigger things is what will cause them to lose their home.

I personally feel that they do that to try getting out of doing anything.

Without any good progress being made the authorities don't tend to give you a break and more time to get things done.

Good luck and best wishes
Please take good care of your own self and not allow this to make you depressed and sick. (((HUG)))
Posted: 25 November 2018 - 07:40 PM
Slow moving now. They must read every scrap of paper including old magazines and newspapers they saved. I gave them a large shoebox worth since it was over flowing and asked them to get rid of just enough to put a lid on so we can stack it somewhere. 2 hours later not done. They literally finger through the magazines page by page to see why they saved them-again.

Also flabbergasted when they said they need 1/2 year to clean up their mess. Were approaching the 30 day mark and think they were given a break for holiday. I said you have to take advantage of everyday they don't push the issue.
Posted: 15 November 2018 - 09:53 PM
You're welcome (((hug)))

From everything you have written it is safe to say that she is a hoarder.
Has a severe case of the hoarding mental health condition.
Without some serious psychological counseling nothing will ever change.
Unfortunately, she will probably never agree to getting counseling.

She will lose everything by trying to hold on to it all, instead of cleaning up and decluttering.

I want you to prepare yourself for things to go very badly since the authorities are already involved.
You have been doing everything you can to help.
Do not blame yourself one bit.

I too have been fighting for years with a very stubborn hoarder.
Doing everything to solve this problem.
But he refuses to get the mental health counseling he needs.

We must accept that we did/do not fail.
We are fighting a mental health issue the best we can.
Posted: 15 November 2018 - 08:19 PM
Should add I thank you Tillie for your replies and understanding of the situation.
Posted: 15 November 2018 - 07:37 PM
I recently tried explaining the clear path to windows and she said nobody goes through the windows in a fire, they walk out. But that's if they can and yes ambulance and fire crews might need access to a window one day. Over the last several years I've read of cases where a hoard impeded escape and fire crews.

She has so many clothes for so long on the shower curtain rod it bent. She's been prepping them for resale for years now. And the bottom of the tub is disgusting because it's dirty and can't be properly cleaned.

We tried to get her to clear one of her tables. It took in hour to reorganize about 3 dozen items. I don't even think she got rid of 10 and table is still full.

And days away from inspections and possible eviction she's taken two days off and being petty about issues/people she's accepted/exploited for decadeS-including a friend who stores some of her stuff(even they stopped taking more of her's years ago). A recent hospital stay found nothing new with her condition is constantly complaining about her health issues including "I'm going to have a heart attack" It's so often I think she either wants attention or adding material for testimony/court case. She lectured some of us for almost a half hour going off on a rant in which she was talking/ranting 99% of time
Posted: 13 November 2018 - 06:44 PM

WAY TO GO! for all the hard work you have been doing (((HUG)))

All the things she's been doing and saying are very typical from a person with a severe hoarding mentality.

Putting the blame on movers from decades ago
Wanting a lawyer to try to fight the city/county ordinances
Refusal to address the items and condition of the home
Making up imagined scenarios as to what the officials will actually do...

What they actually want is
clear access to all doors and windows should she need ambulance or fire department help.
Properly working plumbing and bathroom fixtures.
No flammable materials stored around or near heat sources like stove, water heater, furnace, etc.
Clear access to power, water and gas shut offs.
Sanitary conditions like no spoiled or rotting food or deceased animals or human or animal waste.
No rodent or insect infestations.
No build up of flammable materials like excess newspapers or flammable liquids like paint removers etc.

The sad fact is that a lot of people begin hoarding at a younger age and then when they get old, sick or infirm the hoarding becomes so overwhelming that the home and their health rapidly go downhill.

Hang in there, you are not alone (((hug)))

Posted: 13 November 2018 - 11:00 AM
One thing I should add this person has a lot of medical issues which really have slowed her down over the last several years(indications of hoarding started long before that) and is afraid they will use how or how fast she does many domestic tasks. She's afraid she'll be timed on how fast it takes her to answer door. And one of her issues she is using the bathtub for storage and that would be an indication of poor hygiene ie not or can't taking care of herself.
Posted: 13 November 2018 - 10:05 AM
Spent the better part of a week cleaning and getting a lot trash or recycling out. But she refuses to deal with getting rid of or storing her things. Doesn't even want to reorganize her things and blames the movers she used 2 decades ago for many of the conditions by placing still unopened boxes in disorganized fashion.

She also fails to realize officials gave her a break and haven't bothered her for a few days and needs to take advantage and show significant progress on her own. She's more worried about getting a lawyer to stop eviction and get local officials out of her life.

Posted: 09 November 2018 - 09:22 AM
Very sad situation.
Just shows how bad the hoarding disorder can be.

Very glad that the town has a local group that will go out and help those who need it and are willing to accept the help.
Posted: 08 November 2018 - 11:04 PM
Know a hoarder who finally got cited by their local town and temporarily evicted. Help from a local group was offered and sent to their house. She talked them out of their mission, to clean OUT as much as they clean up. She was in a highly emotional state and since it was first day back in their home they backed off for a day. What she fails to realize they have to report to local law enforcement and social service agency and runs the risk of being labeled non compliant or uncooperative.

Problem is she got into a confrontation with several social service employees and even said stuff in the hospital which triggered a psyc evaluation. Medical emergency initiated an ambulance and police request for social services & health department.
Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Hoarder Finally Got Cited & Offered Help Which They Rejected

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