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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : I really need help dealing with my boyfriend
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I really need help dealing with my boyfriend

Posted: 11 February 2018 - 09:24 AM
Really wish there was an easy solution
but he won't change until/unless he is really wanting to change.
If he were willing to see a counselor or therapist who specializes in hoarding that would be the best thing for him to do.
Then there are books and programs to help him learn ways to change his ways.
The "HOARD NO MORE" rescue kit featured to the left of this page and a book "Buried In Treasures" are very beneficial.
For you there is a book "Digging Out" that would help you to understand and what steps you can take.
Biggest mistake you could ever make is to throw out anything of his without his permission.
At the top of this page are links with more information.
Please read the one "Help For Families".
Good luck and best wishes.
Posted: 10 February 2018 - 11:41 PM
Hello, this is my first post ever on this forum.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we recently moved into a beautiful house together. Unfortunately, he is a hoarder. I try to keep the "visible" parts of the house very normal, organized, and clean. However, one of the 4 bedrooms in the house is a complete hoarder's heaven. It is filled to the brim with all of his stuff. There are white bins wall-to-wall that are full of (literally) all of his childhood toys and random collections. There are boxes full of literal trash, and basically just junk everywhere. He also hoards papers and receipts in particular. His hoarding also is evident in our office - there is one corner that's a pile of trash. Literally, it's compiled of empty shopping bags, paper, and used wrapping paper. I'm scared to just throw them away myself because I know they have extreme value to him (i.e. a shopping bag when he went shopping with his now dead father).

I am completely unable to get him to work on cleaning any of it. I try day to day to be happy living with him, but deep down, I am sick to my stomach and at my wits end. I am at a complete loss. He will not clean it. For example, I was at work today (Saturday) and he had almost the entire day to himself and he only threw out a few papers in one corner and that's all he accomplished. I could completely clean the entire house out in about a day if it were up to me. For him, I think this is impossible.

Please someone help me and give me advice on what to do . I love him, and he's very kind a supportive of me. But I cannot do this the rest of my life. I was raised to be a very clean, organized person and this issue has my anxiety and resentment up a wall.

Pleading for help.
- Andria
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