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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Where do I start with a hoarding boyfriend in denial?
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Where do I start with a hoarding boyfriend in denial?
   

Collectorsgirl
Posted: 20 September 2017 - 05:56 AM
I'm 45 years old and after 3 unsuccessful marriages finally met the love of my life. After only a few months together I began to realize my boyfriend had a serious problem. What seemed at first to be a cool collection of vhs,DVD,book,poster, action figure/collectables,and knock knacks, the true nature of my boyfriend's problem came to light. Not only is his "collection" so immense that his entire home is only navigatable by a 8 inch path leading room to room but I soon realized that adding to this collection came before things like decent food, bills, and basically everything in his life. He donates plasma for income right now and literally spends the money immediately after donating in thrift stores on the route home. All the while collecting food from food banks or investing minimally in poor quality artificial food from Dollar stores. He is far behind on child support yet when he received a large lump some inheritance did not catch up his support but spent that inheritance in 4 months by adding to his collection. He is a loving man, a wonderful father and leads an otherwise good Christian Life.
His collection is clean, and most items have some value some have "huge" value, but he refuses to accept that this is a problem.
As a girlfriend I feel "second" to stuff, helpless ,to fill the void he is obviously trying to fill with things, and am helplessly watching our relationship and others in his life suffer and die. He knows I can't live with this, and knows it will likely end us, but firmly believe there's nothing wrong or unusual about what he does.
Do I just give up and be glad I got out before I was buried alive, or is there enough of a chance I can help him get help? If so where do I start with someone who "doesn't have a problem?"
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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Where do I start with a hoarding boyfriend in denial?

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