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Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Elderly Mother
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Elderly Mother

Posted: 27 September 2016 - 10:39 PM
Hi :)

First, sorry to hear that :(

What came to mind while reading your post is that she needs more.
Meaning a weekly cleaning service to help maintain the place once you have done another major clean up there.
Someone to check in weekly and keep you notified about conditions there.

I hate those "charity" solicitations.
Change her billing addresses and other important mail to a different address.
Possibly a post office box so the real mail does not get lost in the junk mail.

Two good books to read for you to get a better insight into the hoarding disorder and possible solutions are
"Digging Out" and
"Buried In Treasures".

Sorry I'm not much help but you do have my sympathies.

Best wishes, Tillie :)
Anonymous Please
Posted: 27 September 2016 - 10:20 PM
Have read quite a few of your messages, so I can tell you have the jist of the situation already. My mom is a dear lady who simply cannot resist a plea for money from all the dubious "charities" who know a mark when they see one. They call her constantly. The real trouble is that, even though she gives a small amount of money to each (5 or 10 dollars), they SELL HER NAME, NUMBER, and ADDRESS to other dubious charities. It's gotten so bad, the Post Office leaves a large plastic tub of incoming mail everyday to her house. She has to sift through all the charity pleas just to get to her electric bill, cable bill, doctor bills... Nothing but goat paths throughout the house because she collects old magazines that she fully plans to read "someday." She has two cats who I truly believe manifest the insanity that is her house by refusing to defecate in the litter pan. Instead, they do their business behind the television. I live 4 hours away, but visit her once or twice a month. One of the things I do is fill bags up with dried cat poop. One can only imagine the smell, but she's immune to it. Claims not to be able to smell it. I cannot hire someone to come sit with her because the last time I did that, they rightly reported her to APS (Adult Protective Services) due to the cluttered state of her house being dangerous to her well-being. They gave her two weeks to clean up, and I paid an organizer almost $1,000 to clear it up. It was a very fair price because the organizer was sympathetic and involved her in every decision. APS closed the investigation after the two week deadline, giving the house a passing score. In less than 6 months, the house got just as cram packed as ever. I cannot get through to her and an at my wits' end. She will not seek counseling, though she knows she has a problem. She merely promises to "do better" in the future. Advice? She really needs help and will not accept it from me.
Hoarding Help Message Boards : How to Help a Hoarder : Elderly Mother

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