Kelly,

Where are you on the suicide issue now? How are you dealing with it? What kind of help are you getting?

That is the number one concern for/about you right now. There are a couple of other comments I could make in regard to your post, but I am not doing anything else until I know you are dealing with the suicide threat concerning your life.

Hi Kelly :)

My suggestion is that you try to get him to agree to go to marriage counseling with you.
Once everything has been laid out on the table maybe then he will see that his shopping/collecting is hurting your relationship.
A person must first admit that there is a problem before anything can be done to fix it.

At the top of this page is a link "National Resources".
Click on that and then on your state to find therapists who deal in hoarding issues.

I completely understand where you are coming from with your fears and frustrations.

A good book for you to read is "Digging Out".
It explains how you also have rights to have your needs met too.

My husband collects DVDs, CDs, Harry Potter ornaments, etc., etc. I feel like he's cheating with another woman (he isn't) because he hides what he purchases from me. He has credit cards that I don't know about. He's promised several times that he'll stop "collecting" but I'll find evidence of spending. At the peak, he was spending $7,000 per month! Yes, we have money and aren't actually in immediate danger of becoming destitute but he doesn't understand that half that money is mine! I tell him every time I make a purchase but he hurries to hide his packages upstairs before I can see them. I don't go upstairs anymore because it is so depressing to me. Also, I'm disabled and he knows that I rarely journey upstairs. Downstairs is completely livable but upstairs is becoming more and more filled with his collectibles and papers and such. I'm getting very concerned about the money spent and that things will start spilling out into downstairs. In fact, it already has spilled across the landing at the top of the stairs.

How can I possibly get him to even listen to me or get help? I've threatened to leave him twice already which seems to make a short-lived change but he'll soon start right up again. Yes, I understand that the hoarders are depressed, etc, etc but so am I, almost to the point of suicide to get out of this hell. Not enough understanding is given to the family of the hoarders. Everything is about how to step lightly around hoarders!