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My dad is most definitely a hoarder.
The type that likes to begin countless projects, have multiples of everything, backs ups of back ups...
Growing up, I didn't realize how NOT NORMAL it was, to live in a house full of boxes, some rooms with only a pathway to get buy, and always have so much clutter...
It is a small house, and although my dad will admit there is a mess. He can't seem to ask for help himself. My dad's excuse is always, "one day when we get a bigger house" or "if only I had a bookshelf" or "if I could buy this" .... he doesn't understand the problem is HIS BUYING. Useless spending. Which has brought both my parents into financial trouble.
I left for college, and my father's "clutter" has only escalated. My sister who had 2 more years in the house, could not stand it and took any chance she could to be away from it all.
Now we're both away from home. (- although all our college savings went towards his hoarding items - and he resents helping pay for school...) I couldn't move back if I wanted to. I visited for Thanksgiving and my bedroom is no longer mine, but a storage room... My father sleeps on what resembled my bed - with cat hair and no sheets on it. I bunked in with my mom who's room is possibly the cleanest - yet has my father's boxes piled high. My suitcase quickly vanished underneath random items of his.
My mom thinks she has to live life like this...
And I know she deserves better. She's always worried about the cost.
I'm worried for HER. BOTH of them.
With the snow they've been receiving, the roof has begun to leak... With large amounts of water pouring in, causing water damage to the floor and wall. A large crack going through the dining room.
They know they should get insurance out to help...
But that would mean my dad would have to clean.
When is that going to be?
And when I ask him what it means, it means to him - MOVE everything. He doesn't think he needs to part with most things. And / or blames "things" belonging to others or that being someone else's mess/ responsibility.
If he doesn't clean - there will be no repairs - and I'm worried for their health. and safety.
Miles away - how much can I really do? I've been trying my whole life. But that's also probably how my mom feels. Like there's no use in trying. - Which I know is not an answer.
I've most recently begun to watch the Hoarders TV show - and it's helped me gain some insight and perspective on a hoarder and their mindset. Which gave me the idea to be proactive and finally voice my secret...
I'm a child of a hoarder.
Please help.
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