I feel for anyone who is dealing with a Hoarder. I'm currently married 9yrs now to such a person, and believe it ranks up there with some of the worst cases I have either seen or read about.

Its a very tough situation to live with, and hurts me to know end, because of the love I have for that person. I love her deeply!

I will say one thing though, and that is if you live with a person who lives in chronic pain, that can be a major reason for not cleaning. However if that person is actually Hoarding, then that is different and I understand the complaint.

I have lived with chronic pain for the last 15yrs and to the point that I wanted to commit suicide several times. I have no strength to constantly help pick up and clean the house and or mow 12 acres we live on. Many of you may think that this is the reason for the clutter, but I can assure you that it is not. My wife has all the symptoms of a classic hoarder. I do my share and keep my own private space clean and neat to a point.

I just wanted to respond to the post that talked about their wife suffering from chronic pain. It is a whole different animal..

Thanks!

Wayne, familiar ring to your story. Had an intervention for wife 2plus years ago, got rid of a lot of stuff but still more stuff coming in than going out. She says she is seeing a therapist but I have no way of knowing who or when she visits a therapists office.

Tillie,

Thanks for the going to the therapist myself. The other I do because she is afraid to go alone. I wonder what to do during cleaning she agrees to get rid of 80% of the piles of junk but ends up giving up only 20% because she or the kids may need later (we already showed her may never comes then starts the personal attacks.

Thanks Tillie,

I have done what you speak of but either denies the agreement or if I have proof of the agreement she says she is sick or in pain ...she has chronic pain

Hi Wayne :)

That's a really tough one.
What I have been doing is to choose my battles carefully.
I decide what one thing is the most important and just keep pushing for it over and over again.
When I get vague answers from him I push until I nail him with a definite "he will do it" and when it will be done answer from him.
It is very tiring and takes a long time but the battles are for very good reasons, health and safety issues.

Have you read "Digging Out" ?
It is a book for people like us. :)

My wife manipulates with many excuse even though she has stated that the does,nt want to live this way. She is very well educated. Yet she will res hedule or be late to therapist appointments that she setup herself. What is the way to prevent the manipulation and conniving