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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Talk About Your Fears : Social Isolation
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Social Isolation

Posted: 14 March 2014 - 08:04 PM
I'm sorry for not responding sooner but I've had a really busy week with appointments and keeping up with phone calls and taking notes for interviews.

We had to get the furnace motor repaired as well so had to make time for that as well.

I would like advise Dianne.

I write to myself to just vent or just to write just because.
Posted: 05 March 2014 - 12:25 PM
I'm sorry, Lynn, before jumping in with my advice I should ask you what I ask my married daughter ~ do you want my advice or do you just want me to listen?

You're right, no one wants to be forced to do anything. We may end up doing it but there's no joy, only resentment.

Sometimes I stop reading books too. Either it hits too close to home and I feel scared and bad or it's what I already know and know I am not going to do whatever is required.

We do what we can when we're ready.
Posted: 04 March 2014 - 08:01 PM
Oh, Dianne,
I didn't mean quite mean blackmailing, for I know that it quite bad in itself. I'm not still trying to prove anything. I know she's a control freak and will do anything to get her way. Sometimes I just need to write out loud. (like thinking out loud)
It's being forced to do something that should be an option to go is the big deal. No one should be forced to go somewhere if they don't really don't want to go. Being forced to go takes the joy out of it, or at least for me it does.

I can check out a lot of books at the library from a lot of topics on the subject matter. I didn't quite finish reading "Stuff" by Frost because I started to feel quite scared of what I was reading. But I got the general idea. One woman's story was exactly like mine of what we had to do for lack of sleeping space with her. (ugh)(shudder)

But there are quite a few books I can do more research on at the library.
Posted: 04 March 2014 - 03:18 PM
p.s. Lynn ~

I don't mean you have to buy those books from Amazon. Just get an idea of what is available and get the books from your library.
Posted: 04 March 2014 - 02:01 PM
Hi Lynn,

Responding to your post from Mar. 2 ~~

Please don't confuse *blackmail* with *coercion*. If your mother was *blackmailing* someone that would mean she would reveal something very damaging about them if they didn't give her money or do what she wanted. Blackmail is a crime that can be prosecuted. To *coerce* someone means to make someone do something by the use of force or threats.

Your mom is trying to coerce your sister to go to church by threatening to take away parts of your sister's Hello Kitty collection. I remember my parents threatening to take away my record collection if I didn't clean my room. My daughter tells her son if he doesn't obey the rules for the amount of time spent on Wii she will take away those privileges.

Sometimes the threat is a direct link/consequence to what the person making the threat wants; sometimes it is totally unrelated ~ like Hello Kitty has nothing to do with church. But if your sister is scared enough about losing those pieces she'll do what her mom wants. Honestly, to me, going to church is not the worst thing in the world to have to do.

But I get your point ~ your mom is a controlling person who makes threats to get what she wants.

Remember when I wrote something about you needing to prove that someone is wrong in their actions over and over? It seems to me that you are still trying to *prove* that your mother is so controlling that everyone around her is just absolutely stuck in the position of being totally under her control. And that takes away any power that you could have to improve your life. Go a little deeper and that means you are saying, "I can't be responsible; she controls my every action; therefore my problems are all HER fault. So I can never improve."

That kind of thinking is what is keeping you under her control.

Some time ago I mentioned that you should look at Amazon, get some titles that interest you and see if the library has them. I just did some work for you, here it is ~

Google Amazon, search under Books ~ change your thinking. They have 8,998 titles to choose from. In many you can Look Inside, read the contents and some chapters, see if it appeals to you.

Anything by Norman Vincent Peale and Wayne Dyer are good. Here are 5 I've read ~

The Power of Positive Thinking ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ copyright 1952 ~ ISBN number ~ 0-7432-3480-4

Positive Imaging; The Powerful Way to Change Your Life ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ copyright 1982 ~ ISBN number 0-449-91164-0

The Power of Intention ~ Wayne Dyer ~ copyright 2005 ~ ISBN number 978-1-4019-2596-3

Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao ~ Wayne Dyer ~ copyright 2007 ~ ISBN number 978-1-4019-1134-3

Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong Self-Defeating Thinking Habits ~ Wayne Dyer ~ copyright 2009 ~ ISBN number 978-1-4019-2173-6

I am an avid reader and collector of information. Always searching for the next great book that is going to *turn my life around*. In other words perform a miracle and do the work for me. It won't work that way. It isn't magical thinking. These are concepts that we need to put into practice. If we don't do that inner work the writer's works are nothing more than lovely ideas.

Or something easier ~ just google, change your thinking, and read whatever looks good online. Changing your thinking is an everyday process with progress and slipping like anything else. But if you keep at it, new thoughts WILL help in your situation.
Posted: 04 March 2014 - 11:54 AM
Hi Lynn,

This is a response to your post from Feb. 23.

Sorry the futon is bad on your back. I'm a side sleeper and the times I've slept on a futon I loved being able to press my back up against the side. There I go again projecting my experiences and assuming it connects with the other person.

Since you were able to move the stuff that was in the dresser to claim it for yourself can you put what is on the dresser in a box? You'd have some more flat space.

I understand why your mother is so attached to her late sister's things. Sometimes as we get older we appreciate the individual members of our family more. I had a brother who I was very close to. He was the black sheep of the family and had a very hard life. His spirit was such that he became extremely materially successful but inside he was still my terribly wounded baby bro who just couldn't connect well with people. He rarely gave gifts. So I have 5 things he gave me throughout our lives ~ 2 baby Indians in a little papoose (we were called Irish twins), a pair of fake gold earrings, a cookie cookbook, a coffee mug tree and a t-shirt from Hawaii. At some point I'll give those his daughter. She's in college and would love those things especially the baby Indians which has a touching story behind it. He passed away from cancer a couple years ago.

I also very much appreciate my maternal grandmother now, who lived with us. I didn't when we were growing up. My grandmother was a great irritation to everyone; an alcoholic, a pessimist and full of embarrassing, negative comments. But she was a hard worker and she made sure as the only girl I had the very best education. She couldn't do that for the boys. As I have gotten older I am painfully aware of how very hard her entire life was. I am ashamed that I wasn't kinder to her and reassuring to her that she was loved and would always be kept safe. So when my grandbabies were born I wanted to be called Gammie, like she was. My brothers laughed and said, "Are you kidding?! You want to be like Gammie?!" And I said, "Yes, I do. In spite of the aggravations there was a whole lot of good in there." So I treasure the few things she left behind ~ just junky bits of cheap jewelry, a little sewing box, stuff like that.

Maybe your mom wishes she and her sister had been closer. Or maybe they were very close and your mom tries to keep her sister close thru the toys in spite of her sister's death. Or your mom knew the suffering her sister went thru in life and by holding on to the stuff she feels it is showing love and kindness to her memory.

I know it's very frustrating for you and logically it makes much more sense to let things go. As you said ~ For me it's just a sad memory. . For your mom it is clearly so much more. If you can show her compassion and some understanding as to why the toys mean so much to her it would help greatly in establishing a better, more trusting relationship between you two. It would show your mom that she can have a very loving relationship right now with you. Hopefully those feelings would lead to agreeing to share the toys her sister loved; to give them to others to give them some happiness.

Do I really think she'll do that? No. This is more about YOU changing what YOU can control ~ YOUR THOUGHTS and ACTIONS towards her.

Posted: 02 March 2014 - 11:43 AM
I just found out today that my sister is being blackmailed into going to church with mother. She said that if she doesn't go with her she will start taking her Hello Kitty things away.
My sister collects Hello Kitty.

I asked her (Katie) "What is the most valuable thing of Hello Kitty things that you want"? And she told me of just a few things but she wants to keep the rest of the things too because she said they are hard to find..

I told her that somehow for the things that you really want, you can get later. (She really lacks space for them now)
But I also told her that she should be able to do what she wants.
This is another of "her" (hoarder's) "need to control" something to still feel in quite control.
She has a very strong need to have complete control of anything and everything still, and it's showing she's grasping straws to get it and will do anything to get it.

(WOW) :0

I still have to find out some more details from sis yet but will post.
Posted: 23 February 2014 - 11:00 AM
Hey Lynn,

First I want to finish addressing your answers to my questions. Sorry, I get so wordy and I type slowly. Then I have to remind myself to get back to work and not stay on the computer which I use too much. So my answers to something simple take a long time and I have to keep going back.

My question was ~ what 2 things would you change about your appearance ~ and you answered

I wouldn't change anything about my personal appearance except for losing weight if I could only walk somewhere safe outside.

That's a great answer. I'm glad you are that happy with yourself. Losing some weight is pretty much on everybody's list. Not so much for appearances as we age but for health reasons. Would it be safe enough to walk during the day where you live? Is there someone you know who would walk with you?

There's a great website called You can join for free. There's a ton of great info for healthy living and a very supportive community for every situation. In their *search* area type in *exercising in small places* and you'll get over 5800 ideas from spark members about how they do it. Under the *Articles* tab you can click on all kinds of health conditions for more advice.

Again the main point of those questions to you ~

What do you think are your top 3 most pressing problems right now? What does your little area of living space look like right now; the one where you sleep and keep some clothes and personal possessions? If you could change 2 things about your personal appearance what would they be?

was to get you to think about areas where you can take more control; so you won't feel victimized by others. The more you can begin to take some positive action where you get to make the choices (no matter how small the area, even like regular teeth brushing) the better you'll feel. You'll know your hoarder does not control every aspect of your life.

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder each day ~

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.

Posted: 23 February 2014 - 08:46 AM
I can only have half of the room because it's packed with stuff I can't do anything about.
Trust me sleeping on a half futon is not good for the back if you desperately now need to change the bedding but can't get a new one upstairs now due to the cluttered stuff on stairs, and the path to get it upstairs. It hurts my back.

From the wall of the bed to the foot of my bed, there is the closet door and from there is a built-in huge cabinet that is stuffed with her fabrics so that takes away a full wall for me. The top of the dresser is with her stuff because I claimed the dresser and put what was in it in a small cardboard two draw dresser.
She is the one with over 5 dressers packed with clothes. I found out yesterday that when I asked her if I could get rid of the stuffed toys that are in my full walk in closet she asked "Do you want any of "auntie's"(my late aunt) toys she got me?" I told her I don't want any of it. She said though that I could dump the toys in her room so that she'd put them some where or get rid of them (somehow I doubt). I told her I'd like to first clean them by putting them in a dryer for 20min to kill the dustmites then they would be ok to donate to kids with no toys. She is still very very strongly attatched and sentimantally attached with the feelings for her late sister. She passed on Feb 11,2000. due to ovarian cancer.
For me it's just a sad memory. Yes I do miss her but not to the extent that she does.
It seems as for the toys, It is like you give a toy to someone and you control what they do with it as long as they don't give it away or if they don't want it anymore to give it back to you is a must.
But as for trying to throw things away that you don't want, with a hoarder, that is next to impossible. Remember she'll go in the garbage and bring it back into the house. It doesn't matter if what I'm throwing away works or not as for things I bought and don't want anymore.
It would be a nice feeling to actually throw away something electrical and it never finds its way back into the house. working or not.
When she was working she would bring home a file cart that they were throwing away at her work, so she brought it home because it is "still functional, not broken".
Posted: 22 February 2014 - 07:10 PM
Hey Lynn,

You're right, when we lose the use of a part of our body for awhile we really appreciate having the use back. Even something as simple as bending over without pain is wonderful. I'm always praying I don't get hurt here too badly and not be able to get thru things.

A few years ago I had several operations thru my back for kidney problems. I went home for a week in between with drainage tubes and a urine bag and something I forget coming out of my arm. It went right into a vein and had a little clamp on it so when I was in the hospital they didn't have to keep finding a place to hook in the meds.

Because I was worried the cats would play with the tubes and tear something out and I would get an infection I stayed at my live-out daughter's house. What a huge pain. Now I have a lot more clear areas but still I try to be careful not to injure anything.

Back to your top 3 pressing problems. The 3rd one is

clutter I can't let go of because of her

Yeah that's a huge problem. It's the main problem for everyone who lives with a hoarder. That's something you have no control over.

That's why I asked about your own living space no matter how small. That's something you do have control over. Or if not now, you can take control over it. Like when Tillie cleared an area for herself and declared it a No Clutter Zone from her hoarder.

Is your half bedroom because you share it with someone or because your mother has it half junked up with her stuff? In either case it sounds like you have a pretty good system utilizing the back of the door with hooks. And the half futon gives good back support and space by keeping it folded. So those places could be kept as clean as possible. Those areas belong to you. Keep your 3 dresser drawers neat with clean folded clothes.

For your functional space and other things you keep you say it's cluttered because there's a lack of space, no shelves. Could you rig up a system using upward space? Maybe get a few lightweight boards from a hardware store (Lowe's has some very thin ones that are about a foot long and a few inches wide, pretty cheap) and make your own shelves. My live-in daughter did that for her paperback books. The shelves between stacks keep things more stable than just piling higher and higher. Or buy some small plastic bins from Staples, turn them on their side so the open part faces you and they can be stacked. I have a lot of shoeboxes I use as containers that are marked on the outside with the contents. I do have to move the higher ones to get to a lower one but it works.

There are lots of books with ideas for small living spaces on a tight budget. Check Amazon and maybe find some of their suggestions in the library.

The idea is for you to take charge in the areas that YOU control. Even if you are surrounded by a hoard your little space is kept tidy and clean.

Will try to get this posted and continue......

Posted: 22 February 2014 - 12:19 PM
I swore that I couldn't be more grateful than now to walk on both feet without crutches. Since I broke my ankle badly now 4yrs ago I am so blessed to walk on my own. Never looked back. I just pray that it never happens again so that walking will be hindered due to inability to get around in this place I reside in which is worse than hell if you can't walk. As painful as bone breaks are, they are much better from the waist up than from the waist down. Timing for getting from one place to another and much planning on how do I get to in a very cluttered place and trying not to knock down stuff, drag stuff along which can/could get caught with feet dragging,
For now I embrace every single day I wake up and have both feet to stand on, on my own.
It's still hard to think positive but still have the strong desire to be neat when given the chance to be.
Posted: 22 February 2014 - 10:16 AM
Hi Lynn,

That's excellent you'll have insurance by Mar 1st!

So for your top 3 pressing problems

employment, money for car insurance, clutter I can't let go of because of her

Money for car insurance and other things will come when you have work. So employment is your first focus. That's something you don't have complete control over. In such a depressed job market finding employment is going to take some creative thinking on your part. Since you're not working now you have unused time and you basic survival needs are being met while you live with your mother, right? So money would be a HUGE plus but it isn't absolutely necessary for your survival.

While you continue to search for jobs (online, cold calls or with the help of community services) you could volunteer someplace. Anywhere you could be of help. Volunteering can lead to a paid position or contacts that can help in finding paid work. Volunteering gives you a base of experience and excellent recommendations. When employers are looking for a worker they like to see that a person has been using their time well. There may be gaps in paid employment but the time has been used in service to others which shows a great willingness to work and be dependable.

Volunteering gets you out of the house, gives you a routine and is a great way to feel better about yourself, more optimistic in general. You feel more in control and that changes your mindset for other things you could accomplish. You're very fortunate to be in a position where you have that choice.

I'm not an optimist by nature; far from it. But I'm still learning that we must be able to find the tiniest blessings in our lives and build on those. Not everyone is blessed with free time like you or me. Use it well and your life WILL improve.

I have to post this before it gets too long and I lose it. But I'll continue........
Posted: 22 February 2014 - 09:23 AM
Hey Lynn,

Those interview situations sound awful. As an older person who started working in high school (no college education) I was trained to work hard and well no matter what the job was. Now my personal *old person* rant......a lot of people now just don't care about the quality of their work. They don't care about getting back to someone or knowing the details of their place of business (like the address). Or maybe the company uses another central area to set up interviews but they haven't trained those people or even given them a list to follow like where each restaurant is exactly, not just by landmarks. And more ranting........when I cleaned a public bathroom I took personal pride that it smelled clean and fresh when it was done. When I cleaned animal waste in kennels I made sure the waste was physically removed not just hosed into the drains like the slackers did; which of course caused major drain blockage problems.

Ok, now my complaining is over. What can be learned from the situation of lousy interview appointments is what you already said ~ get the name of the person who sets up the interview and you took the initiative of getting the manger's name and address of the restaurant online. Only other thing is to confirm before you take the time to go. With the phone interview, I think you're right; they gave you very late notice and it's possible someone had already been hired and the emailer didn't know or bother to get back to you. So, be annoyed for a bit, then let it go. Something better for you is coming.
Posted: 21 February 2014 - 07:17 PM
I forgot about these questions, truly sorry, but will respond now.

Before the 17th I was uninsured for health insurance now will be covered starting March 1st:)

But the top 3 now are:
employment, money for car insurance, clutter I can't let go of because of her.
The little living space I have right now is half of a bedroom. I only have 3 dresser draws for clothes. For the functional space and things I do have it is cluttered because of lack of space. No shelves to save space. I sleep on a futon that is in the couch position because it is a full size bed unfolded and if unfolded I lose any walking space I have. From the wall the space would be about 5'x maybe 15'lengthwise to door from window.
The back of the door has an over-the-door hanger which holds up to six hooks for a bag for some medical equipment such as a heating pad, braces and other medical supplies, robe, jacket and a couple of hats.
I wouldn't change anything about my personal appearance except for losing weight if I could only walk somewhere safe outside.

What do you think are your top 3 most pressing problems right now? What does your little area of living space look like right now; the one where you sleep and keep some clothes and personal possessions? If you could change 2 things about your personal appearance what would they be?
Posted: 21 February 2014 - 06:49 PM
Sorry for the confusion, I'll try to re-explain.

For the Saturday call for an interview she did say the date, day and time to be at the restaurant. My only fault was not asking to whom I was talking to at the time nor with whom I'd be interviewing with. I found the manager's name online and the address of the location. She did tell me the city and street it was on but that was it. The one who called me on Sat for an interview said that she didn't know the address but named a few landmarks across the street and next to the restaurant of where I would supposedly meet for an interview. After I talked briefly with the manager there is when she told me there was no interviews. She asked who told me who told me there would be an interview and that's when I told her I didn't get the name of her. I told her the number who called and she said that number wasn't from her restaurant.

For the second one,(from another company) I did receive an email on Tues for a phone interview for that day or for on Wed between 12p-4p (same time for both days). I emailed her back stating which day and time would be most convenient. I never received another email nor a phone call after that. I honestly don't think the second one was intended to follow through due to a very short notice. I received the email in the 12o'clock hour on Tues.
Posted: 21 February 2014 - 01:13 PM
Hi Lynn,

I'm not understanding your post about the interviews.

You said ~ I got a call on Sat for an interview at a fast food place and when I went there to possibly meet up with the manager
When they called you for the interview were they not clear on who you would be speaking to and the exact time? Or did you show up on the specified day at a random time to *possibly meet up with the manager*?

You told the person at the fast food place the number that called you to set up the interview and when you tried that number it was a fax. Somewhere there was a miscommunication. It's important for you to confirm a meeting to make sure the details are correct. If you had tried the number before going into the fast food place to confirm, you would have realized it was a fax number. At that point you should have called the fast food place directly to confirm your interview with the manager.

You said ~ The other one was from an email reply but she never called me for a phone interview. If she didn't give you a call you need to write her a follow-up email asking when exactly you can expect the call.

And I totally don't understand why the person who called you for the fast food restaurant couldn't give you an exact address, only landmarks.

Thinking you were *stood up* makes you the victim again. Giving the power over you to someone else.

Rather than think it isn't a good thing to be stood up for interviews try thinking what was the problem with these so-called interviews? A good interview needs to be specific as to date, time, place and who you will be speaking to. It's your responsibility to make sure your contact information is correct before you show up.

Have you thought about the questions I asked you in my post of Feb 17? You didn't address any of those.

Posted: 20 February 2014 - 05:12 PM
I was hoping to have a couple of interviews but I've been stood up. I got a call on Sat for an interview at a fast food place and when I went there to possibly meet up with the manager, she said there wasn't any meetings for today. I was told that I was the second one that day. I told her the number that called me and when I called the number back, it was a fax number. The other one was from an email reply but she never called me for a phone interview.
What was odd for the fast food restaurant was that she couldn't give me an address but places across the street to identify where the place was. I found the place online with full address but that was besides the point. Being stood up for interviews is not a good thing.
Posted: 17 February 2014 - 11:20 AM
Hi Lynn,

First, I'm no therapist. Whatever advice I give you are just my own thoughts and opinions.

Second, let's try not to judge anyone. It's natural if someone has hurt you to be upset and want to point out flaws that you think they have. Besides not resolving anything it just keeps negative energy flowing and that hurts you more than them.

Did you check the link that Tillie gave you? In the green strip along the top click on Crisis Centers. A tab will drop down; click on Center Locator. Then search by zip code to find a center close to you. If you search by state nothing comes up. You may not feel as desperate now as you did a couple days ago but the crisis people can help you find someone to work with who can help change the way you think.

It seems to me that a lot of your thinking is defensive. You feel threatened by what some people say to you and you try to prove them wrong over and over. Like your mother telling you that because she is a hoarder you will be too. You feel she is trying to control you.

As long as you REACT to negativity you will stay stuck in it. Yes, *cluttered house equals a cluttered mind* but even with a beautifully clean, organized house we can still clutter our minds with unproductive thinking.

Just as some people need outside help to clean their house, some people need professional help to clean the thoughts from their minds that keep going around and around.

Even me telling you this may make you throw up all kids of obstacles as to why seeing a professional won't work ~ you have no money, you have no way of getting there, etc. I understand those are real issues not just negative thinking.

So at the very least you can go to the library and find some books on changing your thinking. Or check Amazon under self-help books to see what titles they have. Not to buy them but to look inside, read the table of contents, a couple chapters and see if it interests you. Write the title, author and ISBN number and see if your library has it. Sometimes they can order it from another library in your county and will call you when it comes in.

Lynn, I don't think being the Child of a Hoarder is your most pressing problem right now. You have lots of good ideas, you seem to be an avid reader, you have good strategies for coping, you persevere in trying to improve. But maybe it's time to shake things up a bit, try a new approach. Instead of focusing on how someone tries to control you and hold you back try focusing on what YOU can control in your life.

We've talked about this before. It's so easy to slip back into old patterns. Pick out one or two small things that you control in your life and do them every day.

What do you think are your top 3 most pressing problems right now? What does your little area of living space look like right now; the one where you sleep and keep some clothes and personal possessions? If you could change 2 things about your personal appearance what would they be?

Let me know and let's work on that. Which really means I will give you ideas and YOU will do the work on that.

It would still be better if you could see a county sponsored professional with access to resources in your area and possibly meds. But I'm willing to help online.

take care ~~

Posted: 17 February 2014 - 10:01 AM
Ok Lynn this is what you just wrote. I'm moving it here so it's under a new thread called Social Isolation. Then I'll hit Reply and write my own thoughts to what you said.

Yes Dianne.
I was finally able to get a very good book by Dr. Phil from the library because the library just got it on the shelf and I had to grab it. Later after I get a job I will buy it so soon I can can it somehow and keep it digital and save space later (if I can figure how to get the scanner to work).

Music is the answer to my happiness as drawing, talking. For anger I must do strength training to much musclular fatigue to feel better.

It would be nice just to have a section for Children of Hoarders. Cory said in his interview that "alot of homes were of hoarders" he never said "every home" he went into for rescueing when he was a medic was a hoarder.

If hoarders are afraid of being judged why should Children Of Hoarders be judged the same by hoarders?
Childeren of Hoarders are not destined to be hoarders just because the parent(s)are.

I believe parents of hoarders only say that children of hoarders can't change because they themselves are afraid of living in the present and not willing to let go of the past and are afraid of change or living happy. They don't want to let go of their children and will sabatoge any relationship their children may get to keep them in their control.
"Cluttered house equals a cluttered mind." -Helen Buttigiegg.

The one hoarder that is on this site was young and dumb when she moved out on her own and uneducated of what to do besides collect things for hard times. All teenagers are yound and dumb on their own at the age of 16.
Those educated would learn to deal with their hard times by : talking, exercising, strength training, writing, drawing, painting, yoga, mediatating, dancing,etc. with positive things to do other than buy things and attach feelings to those things.
Posted: 14 February 2014 - 10:08 AM
Hi Lynn,

The web is a huge place. This site for hoarders and people seeking to understand hoarders, has been supportive and a lifesaver for many of us. It's a small enough group, even with those who move in and out, to get to know each other and feel like an online family.

We all socially isolate at least to the extent that we cannot open our homes in hospitality to others. But we can jump on here any time, day or night, and write about our fears, our discouragements, also our successes (no matter how small) and our plans.

Cory works very hard in helping people to improve their lives. I think one of the foundations for his site is positive, forward movement. So even though we can be sad and down here, we also are here to get better.

There's a tiny spark in all of us that keeps us going. It's got to be a priority for each of us to do whatever little things we can to keep that spark growing.

Probably the most important thing I've learned in life is that no matter how much support and love we receive from others we have to do the work. (Unless the person really needs total care but that's a different situation.) I don't mean the work of carrying out too heavy boxes. I mean the work inside. Well, outside work too. :) But we have to be willing deep inside to change. To realize it isn't a passionate/backed into a corner sprint. But that rock bottom realization that change needs to be committed, slow, at our own pace, steady, balanced, one-day-at-a-time-forever change.

Cory's gratitude list is a great place to start our mornings. Change starts in our hearts and minds. We are blessed with infinite choices.
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