Jess, you're very insightful about perfection/chaos.
I still crave perfectionism and I avoid looking at what that would cost me in terms of time, effort, what would be sacrificed. I just get caught up in the striving, all revved up and total tunnel vision. There must have been a little voice screaming for my attention but I got so good at pushing it down.
Even yesterday I was all crazy high and by the end of the day it was crash and burn. Thanks for the reminder that getting betting means observing and striving for the balance. Sustaining it will probably always be a process of falling down and getting back up. If we were always in balance that would be perfectionism too. :)