"Overcoming procrastination" here! ;-)

This thread is getting lengthy. For more on this topic, visit Overcoming Procrastination and post your thoughts.

http://www.danoah.com/2014/05/a-big-fat-day-of-that.html '

just read this and it reminds me so much of how many of my days start and end, even though i KNOW what I should have done better.

It's a good reminder that even people who have their lives together and don't have the same problems we do go through the same things.

Anne, maybe you can pick ONE thing from the garage to work with today or tomorrow? Would that help? I know you do not want to go right back into the previous behavior that got you where you were in the previous house.

It IS hard work. You can do it one step at a time, along with us.

Annel, sounds like you can enjoy your living room now, that is great. When you are all settled in and enjoy less stuff in there, it might be easier to let go of the stuff in garage.
I have procrastinated on getting homeowners insurance, calling friends, cutting dogs nails, showering, you name it, I can wait until tomorrow. When tomorrow never comes, I have a problem. So did cut nails and cut her hair, still need to bathe her, maybe her then me today would be the plan.
We just keep learning and improving.

(((hugs))) Anne

Sounds like this stuff has grown into an unconquerable monster. :(

Many times to get started with a big project it helps to just quickly grab one item from the area.
Just one thing to make a decision on. Keep/toss/donate. If keep, where does it go? Place it where it belongs or as close to that area as possible.

Then celebrate! Do a Happy Dance.
Go do something else.

When you are ready, repeat the process.

The best way to eat an entire elephant is one bite at a time. :)

Aw, Anne, sounds like you are stuck? What can we do here to help?

Hello out there. Roxie you want updates? Perhaps Diane is correct, we are procrastinating. So I decided to post an update here. I saw that there was a lot more going on over on the other boards and I have only checked in here to see if anyone else posted.

Where I am with my old stuff in my new place. If you recall, I said it was piled up in my new living room space (which I hated) and I wanted to move it, but it got so hot here. Then, relatives wanted to visit 2 weekends ago, well, there you go! Boom! I had to do something with it, not it's in my garage.. : (

Now I'm not looking at it every day. I guess I keep finding excuses not to go there, except I see it every day going to and from work when I park my car.

That's where I am.....

Hi roxie, I think we are just procrastinating, writing about procrastination!!

How come no updates here? :(

Dianne: thank you for cheering me on :)

Roxie: I don't think the reality has quite sunk in just yet and probably won't until I am done with the owner of our old place. But living in my new place was delightful until I filled it with all my old stuff. Maybe, like you, I will find myself purging stuff that I thought was useful or needed at one time, but no longer is. I am ready to tackle the piles of boxes and toss whatever I don't absolutely love. I was reading about this one lady that says she goes into each room of her home everyday and looks at each item in the room and she says to herself, I love it or I hate it. If she hates it, she'll toss it right then and there. I think that's the way to go once I get everything settled in. I want to definitely live on the lighter side of things from now on. No more hoarding (I hope!).

AnneL, don't be surprised if you find yourself wanting to purge some more even from the pile of things you brought from the old place. For me, I'd rather do without than sit around with grungy stuff. When I can afford to replace, I will. I have no bed, but I can sleep quite well on the couch in the living room for the foreseeable future.

I want to clean and paint my bedroom before I bring in a nice new bed set. One day, in the future.

How are things going with settling in and leaving the past behind?

Hello everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around but I have checked in to view posts from time to time. My old house is finally done as of today. My brother picked up the last items he wanted and I can now write a long letter to the owner and try to explain what happened (without too much detail I think!), but I have to let him know about the plumbing and electricity needing work, not to mention the floors, but he'll see that when he goes in! Yikes, I'm scared of what he may still do. Even though the cleaning crew did fantastic, it's easy to see (and smell) that this will not be an easy fixer up!

Roxie, I don't know where you live, but I know how hard it is to get things done in the heat, we are in the middle of a heatwave with temps up to 105 here (SoCal). Believe me, it's tough, and I should know! Seems like you got a bit of a break in your weather though which is good. It seems like your purging is coming right along, stay strong and committed! You're doing fine.

Diane, don't let your procrastination stand in your way. I just went through this and I know if you can somehow get past this problem, you will break free and see clearly. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I just kept focusing on the endpoint and somehow I am making it through! I have cleared two hurdles, now I just have to finish with the owner and I am done!

I still have all the stuff I salvaged and brought to my new place that I need to go through, but I'm trying not to get depressed about it. I feel confident that once the weather breaks and cools a bit that I can hopefully start attacking it and get it cleared out. After all, it's only a quarter of the stuff that I once had, so it shouldn't be too tough (I hope).

Everyone is doing great!!!

I was opening drawers looking for a pair of shorts when I realized I still need to do purging in the house. Yeesh. So I'll add to the long list that I need to empty out drawers of things unused or unneeded, not to mention closets. We did a lot of purging when the pros were here, but more can be done.

It is thankfully cooler here today. I hope to rally and get some real work done, as I did yesterday.

Thinking of you.

Diane,

(((HUGS)))

I procrastinated on taking photos of my hoard until today. Photos don't lie, like I have been to myself!! Thought I had more done than I actually have. Reality hurts today.

AnneL, I hope you aren't going to disappear on us. I like reading your posts and I'd love to hear updates.

Today I am hungrily searching for postings and there are not a lot of new ones. Come on folks, we all need the support.

Hugs
Roxie

AnneL, it is great to read your update, and that you are through with the old place now! And you have the determination not to let the new place turn out like that.

Keep reading and posting here often and it will help. I know from experience. :D

Hello all,

Whew, I'm tired, but it's all finally done! Yippee! Yahoo! The girls that came and did the deep cleaning were fantastic! Of course there were some items that were near impossible, but the lead girl told me she tried everything in her bag, nothing worked. But we thought she did great otherwise!

For those of you that haven't been involved with the deep cleaning, this is basically the clean up, from floor to ceiling. They took the years of grime off counter tops, walls, floors, inside cabinets, windows, all of it! She said it needed more work but that it was really too far gone in some spots, but it looked like heaven to me and my sister! That house used to be gorgeous and sadly we ruined it with the 12 years we've lived there, but now it's kind of restored back a little. I hope the owner will appreciate what we did, although he never saw it the way it was!

I know I could never have done this if I hadn't discovered what great people there are here at this site! You all motivated me right past my procrastination and that was huge! When I first started posting here I never, ever thought we would do anything to change our condition, but thankfully, now I can breath (literally) again!

See the one thing that bothers me is that now my new place is filled (only in the living room) with the stuff we salvaged from the old place. But I feel sure (at least in my mind) that now that I have accomplished this feat, that I can overcome whatever was holding me back before, I feel changed toward cleaning, it's still hard and there are still days that I come home from work and look at this pile and feel sad, but I think that with what we just did, that I can tackle this and move forward in a positive way. I will try not to let it get me down and not to push myself and get depressed about it.

So, if anybody finds themselves stuck and thinks there is no hope, believe me, there is! Stay strong everyone!!!

WoW -- WAY TO GO, AnneL!!!

I don't think I can say anything better than what Roxie & Tillie already have :D I am just so VERY HAPPY FOR YOU and can't wait to hear about how you slept in your newly spacious abode last night & how the deep clean goes today!

Congratulations on your courage & progress -- *** ! YaaaaaAaaaaaY ! *** =D

AnneL, I am excited to read your post and looking forward to a report on today's work. You mentioned deep cleaning and I would love to know what exactly they do, as deep cleaning was not a part of the work done for me.

And I admire and encourage your attitude toward the mistakes they made in tossing some items you perhaps wanted. They all will make mistakes sometimes and accepting that is part of the healing, I believe. YOU are important, not the stuff.

Once they are done, you can enjoy your spacious and clean home. Then you get down to the rest of the process of recovery: learning how to maintain and how to continue to eliminate. It is an up and down project, with good and bad days, progress and setback, etc. I encourage you to be active here through it all. It helps me immensely even when I am at demand resistance stages.

Hugs to all

AnneL
GREAT BIG (((HUGS)))!!!
So very very proud of you for being so brave!
Well done! :D
Sleep well in your empty home and I will be keeping you in my thoughts. :)

Roxie and Tillie,

Thanks for your support, it means a lot. We ended up staying there with them today while the guys did the work. It wasn't as difficult as we thought it might be, and you're right Roxie, it's more cathartic to be there while they do it! They actually worked very fast and finished within 5 1/2 hours, it was amazing. However when they left I found that I lost a few things that I had told them I wanted to keep that were close to the front door, but it's okay since all things are pretty much replaceable anyway. The good thing is that they ended finding some stuff that we never thought about which was very cool. It ended up costing more than we thought because we needed an extra dumpster, but I guess it's the price you pay for living in the situation you put yourself in! So with the house being empty, I guess that part is over and I can breath a little easier, now the next hurdle tomorrow is the deep cleaning. I'm just hoping they can accomplish what Robert, our evaluator, had promised us. He said the crew does amazing work and sometimes performs small miracles and showed us some of their pictures which looked very nice indeed. I'm keeping my fingers, toes, eyes and legs crossed and praying that all will go well and it will be alright in the end! But it feels good!

AnneL
Thinking of you today.
Great Big (((HUGS)))

((AnneL)) I am thinking of you on this big day of cleanout!

From my own experience, it was helpful to me and to them for me to stay around so decisions could be made no some things on the spot. Also, they gave me a few tasks I could do sitting down (sorting certain things). I actually did sleep half of one day when they were here. I gave them general permission to toss "trashed" items, but they still consulted me on things like the oriental rugs, which I appreciate. They helped me reason through some of the toss or keep decisions, which I also appreciated.

I personally think it is important to be part of the process, even if they do the majority of the actual work. It helps switch your gears, which you know by now need switching in order not to go right back to the same old same old.

As I follow up, I can see signs of the same old creeping back in and I have to fight that. Being part of the big day(s) solution helps me to do just that.

Please let us know everything, simply everything! :)

Well, I'm getting nervous and yet excited! Tomorrow is the BIG day of clean out. I met the evaluator (Robert) and he was so nice and patient and understanding, he said all the cleaning crew people had the same mentality and not to worry about them "seeing" our mess because to them it is just another day's work, that helps to think of it that way, at least for me. My sister is getting anxious thinking of them seeing our stuff, but I'm trying to calm her down. She doesn't want to stay there while they clean it all out, is that wrong? I feel guilty if I think of leaving while they deal with it, but I know I won't be much help and I'll feel useless just watching! I don't know what to do. Robert said we didn't have to stay, but I don't know.

I am so glad I pushed past my procrastination enough to call these people to help, I wish I had done it sooner! Everyone stay strong and focused, we can get through this.

I have brushed teeth four out of the seven past days, which is excellent for me. I'll keep working toward daily brushing for now. Eventually 2x a day will be a goal but not for a good while yet. It IS satisfying to see those Xs and my mouth feels better, yes.

Can you believe I used to teach oral hygiene? LOL

I am procrastinating on changing the litter boxes so long that it is a huge stink. I MUST do them. I must.

I ordered a Breeze system litter box and am hopeful it will help with this issue. I read about it in someone's blog and it sounded perhaps very helpful in my case. I will let you know. Parts have already arrived. Awaiting the box.

I am out of canned cat food and too lazy to go to the store but I know I have to do that in the next couple days. The cats really insist, though they are patient in eating the dry food, anyway. In Illinois I had a store I could go online and order groceries delivered. I really miss that at times like this.

My semi-feral black male Blackie is very persistent in trying to wake me up so he can get canned food. It gets mighty annoying. Poke here, claw there, jumping on my head, walking on my body (now THAT feels like a wonderful massage), trying to lay there in front of my face and stare me awake. I adore him.

When I am upright he acts like I am a stranger. When I lay down he is the most affectionate of cats, cuddling close, adoring his belly rubs and paw rubs. He is sleek and shiny black, just handsome.

Hi Roxie and Tillie, I think of you every night when I want to sneak to bed without brushing my teeth!! I am finding it difficult to remember maintenance when busy with a project, like dishes. Working on bedroom has been difficult, so forgot about dishes. May need to put stars on my calendar for brushing teeth

Okay, where the heck is everyone?

Tillie, a wise and gentle reminder. Thank you.

About the people featured on "HOARDERS".
The hoarders themselves really are not ready to declutter but have been pushed into doing it by family members or the city inspectors or child/adult welfare, etc.
They get a little bit of therapy before the filming begins but no where near enough to make them want to change.
Being forced against their will makes them act the way they do.
And it is a fast clean out, has to be to meet the deadlines set by the city or child/adult welfare.

Here, we can go slow enough to allow you to accept the changes in your homes and thinking.
And if or when you are ready, a big fast clean out is something that you are ready to do and do it of your own free will.

Remember, the TV hoarders are usually forced against their will, can't afford to hire a clean up crew and agree to be on the show in order to keep their homes, children or family members, avoid jail time and heavy fines.

(((hugs)))

AnneL: there were a couple of things I was looking for during the clean out. We never found my newer camera (still haven't). But one of the guys found my photo album from my high school years. I was so thrilled! I went to hs overseas, so the pics are irreplaceable. It's beat up but I want to share it when I go to a reunion in October in Albuquerque. The guy that found it for me had a big, proud smile on his face when he showed it to me. :D

I found the workers respectful of everything. They will make some mistakes and that is normal. They threw out all my saved grocery bags, which I use to bag books I'm donating. I was not happy, but was it a life issue? No, I had more bags within a week, so no big deal.

I found my great grandmother's writing desk was damaged due to neglect by me. The drawer was beyond repair. I said toss the desk but they kept the desk for me and tossed the drawer. If I leave the drop down door down you don't see the drawer.

They found a phone that worked and swapped out my landline phone. Now I have a working phone I can actually hear from another room. Big difference!

Making a small list of things you hope to find is okay to give them. But they may not find the items. So be prepared to be accepting and gracious. They didn't make our messes or lose our things, right?

Between now and their arrival to work, keep working toward decluttering and maybe you'll find some of those things.

I used to have a mental battle with making myself go to the gym and work out (we are talking years ago now). I'd joined a club across the street from my job. I'd go at lunch hour. Well, I made a rule for myself to go every workday so I had no "out." Then on the days when I really wanted to bail, I'd make a deal with myself that I just had to go to the club and change clothes, wasn't required to work out. Of course, I found that once I was already there with changed clothes, working out was no big deal. I did that for years.

Now with CFS I cannot work out at all. I miss the strong and toned body I had back then.

There are ways around our brains. I know from working out that our brains and bodies can lie to us about what we can and cannot do.

Maybe you can use these type tactics in your own circumstances? You don't want to declutter today, too tired, too whatever. Make a deal with your brain that you will do X for X minutes and then you may quit if you wish.

Yesterday I rounded up two full bags of garbage and took them to the garbage bin (rather than dropping them "for now" in the kitchen--kitchen door leads to the outdoor garbage bin). I also put all those washed dishes away. I also brushed my teeth.

Now this last doesn't sound like much but for me IT IS. I go to the dentist at least twice a year but am terrible about daily personal grooming. I'm working on it.

I have a small calendar by my computer. Each day I put a slash through the date when I take my daily meds. Now I've decided I'll put a second slash (making an X) when I also brush my teeth. That way I'll have a visual reminder so maybe I'll do better. Hope so. On a positive note, I do floss a lot since food gets stuck. I know brushing and flossing is supposed to be a daily thing. My aim for now is brushing at least once a day.

Today so far I actually walked to the end of the driveway and picked up the Sunday newspaper. I've skipped that for two weeks, believe it or not. And I actually went a little further to the mailbox and emptied that crammed thing. Yeesh. So now I have a pile of mail to sort, and something to read (newspaper) in the bathroom. I recycle newspaper so I have grocery bags in the bathroom into which newspaper goes after I read it.

It is getting warmer here and I really need to do something about getting some air conditioning. Over a year ago I had the best rated local HVAC company come and quote me $6000 for new central air. But they refused to work in my house until it was cleaned up. It was a record hot summer. Thank God I had a small ac free standing unit I borrowed from a friend. I put it on the floor and slept directly in front of it on the floor. That was the only way to stay cool enough. I was having bouts of dizziness, staggering and in two cases brief blackouts.

Yes, I understand why they didn't want to work here. Yet I resent it as well. What if it were their mom? Would one or two days of unpleasant work conditions be too much to ask? Grump grump.

ALSO, I don't HAVE $6000. When I joined Angie's List on the internet, I started researching companies. I have to contact them. I just have to. The house is sufficiently tolerable now. I am just afraid the quotes will be equally intimidating.

Another option might be getting two room ac's installed for now. Much less expensive, not ideal, but manageable. I can no longer do things like install my own ac unit, so I'd have to pay someone to do it. I hate this.

Okay ending on a more positive note: it is still cool enough that I'm not having those dizzy or fainting bouts and I can accomplish other chores. I'm grateful for that!

Roxie,

Diane is right, your words of what you are going through mentally, physically and emotionally with your stuff really does help me to realize that I, too, will probably be doing that once the "real" work starts when the crew gets here.

I also watch the Hoarders show and while I feel I'm not as bad as some of those people (I know they pick the most extreme cases for the show probably), I always think that I understand how they feel, sometimes.

My concern is that I'm going to lose something important during the clean up. I'm trying to write things down that I think of that I need to look for while cleaning, but I know there's probably stuff buried under junk that I have long forgotten about that could be important too and that's what worries me.

But I think we are all doing a great job and by sharing our stories here we are all helping each other by seeing what our fellow "comrades in arms" are facing.

Everyone, let's stay strong together, we can do this. It's very intimidating but I know we can overcome it.

I had a down day today, I was supposed to clean, but just couldn't get my mind into it. The plan is to do double the work tomorrow, I hope!

Thank you all for your support.

Roxie, I appreciate your description of what you went through, probably very helpful to annel. Nice you gave examples, helps me realize some of the stuff I think I am keeping, will probably have to go too. Keep up the good work, and information sharing.

AnneL. I watch the hoarder shows on tv and am appalled by how some of the hoarders act. I made up my mind that I was going to be open and reasonable and calm about letting things go.

I did balk at purses (let go of two) because I only had six left and they are vintage designer and please me. He didn't push that. I balked at discarding oriental rugs but he showed me how damaged they were by bugs. I let the ruined ones go despite having them for so many years. That was so sad. But I survived.

I have an undersized rocking chair from my mom and had bought a matching straight chair. The straight chair cushion was ruined. I made a bargain that I could keep the rocker and let the other go. Sad, but manageable.

I had a set of mattresses outside on the covered porch that I had planned to use to replace the old ones in my bedroom. But after noting that the "new" ones had been gotten at by mice or something, I let all of them go. ("You were thinking of keeping THOSE?" LOL)

I made up my mind also that I would just "go through" no matter how I felt, physically or emotionally. Part of our problem at hoarders is stuffing feelings. Part of our recovery is going through them to learn they won't kill us and we can get through and move on to better things.

I also remembered to express to each person individually how I appreciated their help and their input. I learned some things about organization, and cleaning, and I got assistance in hanging things (a clock) and lifting things I could not move.

Just trying to reassure you that it will be FINE when your turn comes.

Talk here about what you feel as you go along.

Dianne, AnneL and MayMay, thank you for your words of encouragement.

Yesterday, I managed to bathe, shampoo and put on new clothes. Then I went to the grocery store as my cupboards and fridge were empty and I had 3 inside cats and four outside cats inquiring why they had so little food to eat this morning.

I tried to tide them over by putting out some milk that was expiring in another day or two, and that pleased them all. I don't normally feed milk to cats, but it's a good way not to waste the last bit of milk by letting it expire undrunk.

I was exhausted by the time I got back, but I put away ALL the groceries and put out new water and food dishes and food for all the cats. They were most pleased and very hungry! I now have food for myself again, too.

I was very happy to have movement again.

Hey Roxie,

Thanks so much for reassuring me about what it cost you, at least I have a general idea of what mine may me as well. I truly appreciate it. Good for you for clearing out your dishes! Cleaning can be so hard sometimes (I guess it's all a mental game though)!
It can be tough pushing through all the mind games going on! I, myself, am trying to stay strong and positive about this whole thing. I feel good that we are finally getting someone to help us, but I find myself dreading the whole ordeal at the same time. But I have encouragement from everyone here, so I feel confident (sometimes!) that I can do this.

Hey MayMay, it's okay that you have a crush on somebody that's super great and nice! Cory is the best, no doubt about it.

Hi Roxie,

It's SO TRUE! I have a HUGE crush on Cory. Not only is he SMOKIN' HOT but he is also a very sweet and caring man. And I find that to be very sexy. :)

Hi Anne L,

I'm still super jealous that you got to talk to Cory. ;)

Yes! Yesterday I mowed half the property and did all the dishes in the house. Logjam broken!

Nyah nyah, MayMay is crushing on Cory. LOL

AnneL: I am so excited for your news! Don't worry about the evaluator. They are used to us messies and they are nonjudgmental. Mine was very professional but also personable. At the evaluation he walked through the rooms, took a few pictures, and sat down to discuss what I wanted to achieve and what they could provide. He estimated 2-3 days and set a cap at $3500. (As it turned out it was only two days and under $2500.) I decided to go ahead and signed a contract. I did waffle once but sought reassurance from Cory via email and was reassured.

I was disappointed that this crew would not be doing deep cleaning (like washing walls and ceilings) but accepted the info from Cory that not all do. (My crew tried to connect me with someone to do deep cleaning but, being from several hours away, had no luck with it.)

The actual work was scheduled for several weeks later. He kept in touch via email. I've described the actual process on these boards.

Just wanted you to know that you can do this!

I emailed my family and let them know what I was undertaking. Only my oldest brother had ever seen the inside of my house as it was. Anyway, he and my son were very encouraging. They both also sent me money (unsolicited) to help out, which helped immensely! I guess my brother was tired of trying to help clean when he came for visits. We are both decrepit now. hehe

The hard work for me now is both maintenance and advancing the cleanup. It is so, so easy to slide back into the same old ways.

I did get new, working appliances brought in. I still need lots of work for deep cleaning, etc. And I am seriously looking at getting in someone maybe every other week to help with general cleaning and floors.

Keep talking!

Hi MayMay,

No, I won't actually get to meet him in person. He is setting me up with someone in my area I guess. But I felt honored that I even got to hear his voice on the phone, he was so nice and understanding.

Hi Anne L,

OMG! That is SO COOL that you got to talk to Cory on the phone. I'm so JEALOUS! ;)

Is Cory going to help you clean your house? Or is he just helping you find a company near where you live to help you?

Dear Roxie, Dianne & AnneW, and anyone else I missed, I want to thank you all for your encouragement and support, it has meant a lot to me.
I actually got another email from Cory and he apologized for missing my other emails, he provided his cell phone number and I called him the next day. I won't be meeting him directly, but he has arranged for an evaluator to come see what we need done, coming out on June 21st. I'm so scared and yet excited! I so want this done!

Roxie, I am glad you say your place now inspires you, that's what I look forward to when all this over too! The fact that you filled a whole dumpster, wow, great for you! I bet all the junk at my place could fill one as well, if not more! I'm dreading the cost, but I hope and pray it won't cost more than I can arrange to get together, but it will be worth every penny!

Cory is such a nice man and what he has created is so inspirational! He could have been like anybody else and just said, oh, forget those people, they made their messes, let me live like that! But he chose to care and that's a huge thing in my book!

I am so grateful for this website and all the nice people I have found here that showed me that, with encouragement, you can succeed. Thank you all!

AnneL you should be proud of yourself for continuing in your efforts to move forward. I know that for me I had to have outside help because I simply could not do it myself. I'm struggling now with after-work, but the place is so significantly improved that it inspires.

One of the best parts of outside help was that they helped me organize what was left to a large extent. And by their doing so I learned that there IS a place for everything, now that I got rid of so much excess (a dumpster load worth). What a novel concept for me.

I must come up with some extra help with continuing work and with newer work, like cleaning out the jungle that calls itself my yard and driveway. I just have to make the calls. Checking in here, and hearing of all your news, WILL eventually kick me into gear, I just know it.

You are all inspirational.

Congratulations, AnneL -- sounds like you worked hard this weekend -- 3 hours is a bunch of time!!! Keep at it :) and so glad you put out another call for assistance! You are on your way :D