No, Diane!! The delight about these boards is that one can read at one's own pace, backtrack, re-read, etc. as suits them. So don't give up writing here, okay? On the other hand, if you want me to shut up.... :)

thanks for asking Roxie, I stopped writing on this personal blog, since there are so many other places people are writing on, seemed like too much, might be confusing to new people

Diane, just checking in on you. What's going on?

Diane, I am enjoying reading your updates. Keep it up!

R

I decided to write on here to ramble on and see if I can figure out what is going on. When my friend came over to visit we noticed several cobwebs and dirt on the wall connecting the garage to trailer and that the gutter was falling apart. I worked on it for about 8 hours, since 6AM. I quit when it started to rain. I had sunscreen hanging from the roof of deck and garage, to hide hoard, I tore it all down and felt so different, like it opened up my world, like I don't have to hide that area any more. Then the wind and rain started blowing into deck and I remembered why I had originallly put that sun screen fabric up, so I quickly hooked it up on old nails. When rain stops I would like to finish it with an outdoor roll up shade that I bought a few years ago, never have put up, it will look so much better than that fabric just hanging there. I can put the shade down when it rains or to block after noon sun on hot days, will have the freedom to open and close it. That area was really disgusting, and I really didn't know how bad it was, I had cleaned it a couple of years ago, but gets alot of debris blown into it, looks so much better, There were two bags of clothes out there, they are on the deck now. I am going to practice sorting, should be easier with stuff I stashed out there a year ago, hopefully it will be give away and throw away only. Sure don't need more stuff in here.
We had a decent amount of rain past two days and saw the areas of trailer roof were leaking, it has flat roof, it is old, although cute inside, the roof is a pain. I got up there with black Jack roof patch and worked on it for hours yesterday. I had rubber gloves on, decided it would me more fun to stop putting in on with metal thing and pretend I was finger painting, plus it is lumpy to hands mold to roof better. It was really fun until I took gloves off and realized I had rubbed holes in all the fingers and I had black fingers and black tipped manicure, difficult to remove, can dilute with vaseline until thin enough to wipe off. Still have black around figer nails, scarey looking. I look like a working gal, kind of proud of my hard working hands. I filled two bags of garbage this morning. I am enjoying working outside when I can. Daily maintenance is still a little hard to remember to do. Today I will make soup and do all the dishes, then I will have healthy food and wont mess up pans daily. I can eat the same thing everyday when it is healthy. I am so grateful my burns are continuing to heal inspite of all the dirty stuff I have been doing. Molly my dog, has appreciated me working in craft room, likes me in here, she was upset when I was working on kitchen and living room, she was worried, but has adjusted now. I am dog sitting Tanner, the dog I gave to my friend 3 years ago, I get paid to take care of my old dog, And it is nice to have him here, Molly is disinterested in him, he has too much energy for a senior dog and lady. He is not affectionate so I see myself trying to get his approval, so now I am just letting him do his thing and not take it personally.

today was so much better than yesterday, what a differnce a good nights sleep makes, although, I didn't do any of the indoor stuff, I painted boards, washed rugs, washed lots of stuff, worked all day on fun stuff outside. I know I need to focus inside, just needed a vacation day to enjoy the weather, and do stuff I like to do. It was so much fun, and tomorrow will work inside, supposed to rain.

My Day ahead. I stubbed my big toe on a sharp corner and peeled the nail back half way. It hurt all night, made it difficult to sleep. Was going to home and garden show today to get ideas for deck roof and maybe even find am experienced roofer for deck roofs. Not sure I can walk on foot. Life throws us lemons, I am making lemonade today inspite of pain and lack of sleep. Going to start in kitchen, clean counters and stove top, put away a few things from cabinet overhaul, do dishes, cook something healthy. Laundry. Finish washing stuff from deck that is now in yard by hose. I am disappointed I am injured, but know that is the natural course of life, ups and downs, and k=nothing is going to stop me from making progress




Lynn, good plan to take care of yourself. Since you know hoarding, how about putting ads up to help hoarders get organized, by donation only, then you wouldn't have to worry about all the business aspects, now that you are forced to sit still, I hope you use this time to explore work possibilities such as I just suggested, and online searches.

Thanks Tillie,
Today I still feel the same but very little improvement. Massaging my thigh really helps.
I hope that I can walk again by the end of the week. I signed up to volunteer on Fri.
I'm betting that the bad brusises are hindering standing too. As long as I get to ice it and massage it and relax it out of the splint support, I'll be fine.

Hope all is doing well with the cleaning and keep up the good work.

Lynn,
Hoping you are feeling better today. :)

Give Molly some extra lovings and reassurances and she will soon adjust.

My cats worry too whenever I do something out of the norm. :)

Molly will soon appreciate the open spaces and new floor space to nap in.

Another beautiful day to work, slept in by accident so got a slow start on the day. Long chats with friends on phone, then went to a friends house to get Reiki treatment and watch a movie. We had a nice visit. So, accomplished friend connection but didn't get as much accomplished here as I would have liked. Tomorrow is a new day with lots of time to get things done.
My dog Molly, who is 14 y.o., is having a difficult time trying to figure out what is going on. Molly has never seen me work daily on cleaning/organizing. when she sees me fill the garbage can and haul donations to car, she thinks I am going on a trip, she seems so worried. She is used to goat trails, and now she is still getting used to the changes. She is almost blind with cataracs, so change is very confusing.

I'm feeling better today but still can't walk yet.
Only time will tell. I always feel much better when I wake up and feel like I can walk without a hitch. Maybe in a day or two I can actually walk with more pressure on it.

Oh how I hate being stiff!

Just checking in today.
Hope all is doing well with the cleaning and don't backtrack with all the progress that has been achieved.

I hope to hear more success stories.
Keep up all the good work!

Hoping you had good luck with the mouse hunt and got that all squared away.

WTG! for all the cleaning & clearing you got done! :D

Another beautiful day here. I felt tired even though I slept enough, hard to get going, finally I said just do something and sure enough it motivated me to keep going. I did get alot done today, did some laundry, actually none of it is hanging on wall, actually put it away, amazing. Then separated tools and brackets and things that can possibly be used to put roof on deck. I washed several things that belong in garage but were filthy. Washed some more bins. Washed all summer shoes that were in a bin on deck, just used hose and rag, no soap. Actually cleaned up quite a few things. Totally filled garbage can, tomorrow is pickup. I am hopeful tomorrow will be more productive. I came in after cleaning and smelled a dead mouse, dog is sniffing cabinet by door. I put poison in that cabinet, have to pull everything out to find the little fellow, not looking forward to that but he stinks. Thought maybe it was a rotten potato, but checked and they are all fine.

Your laundry room sounds like it will be a real pleasure to work in now. :)

Once you get these areas under control it will take very little time to maintain them and you will have free time to play and relax. For evermore.

Honest!
That's why I keep my areas clear so I don't ever have to work too hard and too long.

Sad to think about all the years my hoarder has wasted tending to his hoard when he could have been enjoying life. :(

My Grandmother's actual middle name was Freedom and I try to live up to that. ;)

I painted the cabinet then the wall behind washer and dryer really looked bad so pulled the washer and dryer out and painted the wall behind and wall next to cabinet on both sides. Then noticed how grey ceiling looked so started painting it too. I took the shelf outside and painted it. when I got outside I felt like I missed out on a beautiful day being inside painting and cleaning all day, tomorrow will make sure to get out earlier in the day and enjoy the beautiful day. The only thing I put back in cabinet was dryer softener sheets. It looks so great having it empty. Now the next difficult part, sorting and getting rid of stuff. No way am I putting it all back in that cabinet. It was stuffed with work gloves, gardening gloves, christmas decorations, an arm splint, cleaning supplies, sunglasses, paint, and tons more, not actually tons, but 2 large bins full. It looks so much better clean and white. I have cleaned rest of kitchen last week, and noticed it needs to be painted too, it is on hold though. I need to continue to focus on sorting the stuff I have pulled out of cupboard and stuff on deck tomorrow. I feel good about all that I did today and hope to continue tomorrow.

OUCH! :(

Take care, heal soon.

OUCH!! I went for a bike ride today and on my back I fell straining my right knee. Fortunately nothing was broke. Just have to take it easy for a few days and am going to call doc for a follow-up from an er visit. At first I couldn't put any pressure on right foot at all. Now at least 5/10% of pressure. I got a leg stabilizer to help keep my leg straight. Elevation sure helps with pain too as well as swelling. Need to ice it often.

WTG!
Once that area is finished it will be such a lovely relief. :)
Maintaining it will be so easy afterward too. ;)

I am feeling frustrated right now. Disappointed that it seems to never end, I had packed the cupboards with junk, and had no room, dealing with it is depressing, just mildly depressing, just want it to be done. I plan to finish that cupboard today, even though I would rather do just about anything than deal with all that crap and filth. I am comitted to completing it today, will feel so good to walk through the door and be met with a clean organized doorless storage area above washer, dryer. Will finish filling garbage can today.

my day ahead-- already did dishes, found homes for more stuff in dining room.
Anyone know why RV antifreeze would be in dining room? How about storm window kit? Amazing how my collection of crap has invaded every room.
I plan to finish more of the deck when it warms up alittle more.
I am noticing more and more stuff to do, then started wondering if it is taking too much time to do all this. OK, I asked, what are you missing out on by working on this daily. Nothing I want to do more than have a deck and yard to hang out in this summer. It will be done by the time it is warm enough to go camping at lakes, and I will actually be able to find what I need.
I am adjusting to clean counters and no junk on top of refrigerator, felt empty then wiped stuff down and was so happy it is empty, so easy to care for now.

Hey Lynn,

I hate leaving messages too. I actually don't even like calling strangers. It's like this weird phobia that I have.

Have you tried to apply for any non-cleaning jobs that might be hiring? Maybe you should do that. :)

Because I want to be an extreme cleaner like Cory; but right now I'm working as a bartender and I actually love my job. It's a lot of fun. My boss is a retired firefighter and a lot of people that he used to work with like to come into the bar. So I get to hangout with lots of firefighters and paramedics. :)

yes diane I have tried at the local hospital and other hospitals, schools too but still no reply and or no positions available.
It's harder with such a slow economy.
From one hopeful employer that said he'd call in a few days, I called him again today and he said that he's been soo busy he hasn't had the time to check out my resume. His online application for the site wasn't working properly so I had to just email him my resume and cities that I'd be able to work. Most of the cities that he had online for his company I'd be able to get to anyway.

I still have one other hopeful employer that I can try again and call him again since he didn't call me back from leaving a message. I hate leaving messages for that very reason. I'd rather talk to a human.
If they are soo busy, just check out my resume and call me for an interview or something, I am so worthy of woking at a cleaning company, for it's my dream job and take cleaning very seriously.

Lynn, good you are moving ahead. Have you applied at school district? local hospital? they hire cleaners and have great benefits.

another great day. I had an interesting start. I wanted to move the craft stuff from dining room to craft closet. Moved junk out of the closet and stuffed in the back was a grey furry thing. I couldn't tell if it was dead or alive. I finally got the courage to find out. It was actually a grey duster on a stick, they are usually white, so was pleasantly surprised it wasn't a dead animal. Got a good laugh, didn't remember having a grey duster. Was able to find some great craft stuff, and get rid of not so great. Moved stuff from dining room to craft closet. Did the dishes. Boiled a chicken for soup. Cleaned and painted another 1/4th of front deck. washed several plastic bins in yard. Found a bear bench I bought from a boyfriend of a hospice patient years ago. It is so cute, heavy wood, really nice, cleaned him off. Worked all day, with 2 breaks. A motivational speaker said to look for a job the same number of hours a week as the job you are seeking, look 40 hours for a 40 hour a week job. I am applying that to this, working at least 40 hours a week to create the life I want.

Today I called and went to the animal shelter to apply for both volunteering and apply for a working position there.
When I called the one who answered the phone seemed like she didn't know what I was talking about for a cleaning position for a shelter specialist which is posted on the website. But non the less I did apply for a working position today and will apply Fri for a volunteering position. It's better than doing nothing at the moment.

I can't get in touch with any of the companies that I applied for for a cleaning position. Still need a lot of luck with them.
Hope anybody has a better day than me.

Thank you Dianne and diane :)

WoW! Finding unexpected tools must be like finding real treasure.
Shopping at home! :D

Thanks Dianne and Tillie, your support means more than you know. I got another 1/4th of front deck done today. I love tools and found secret stashes of tools I didn't remember buying, so it was like a treasure hunt today. It will be so great when tools etc are in their real homes, and I can play with them. I am so grateful to have the energy and hope that things can be better.

WOW! WTG! :D

Sleep well. :)

oh boy, what a day. Worked on deck, took 2 storage racks down to yard and cleaned with hose. cleaned that part of deck with vinegar and water, can actually see through window now. Took down a wood shutter that was rotten and cleaned then painted the area. Window air conditioner was very heavy but had to move it to clean area. There were of spiders to greet me. I did about 1/4 of that part of deck too tired to go on but will start again in morning, I see the potential of enjoying that section of the deck again. filled garbage bag, still more to toss tomorrow. Enjoyed most of the day.

Tillie and Dianne, if I can inspire anyone, I am amazed and happy if I can help. I still feel buried, but not willing to give up. I have no desire to go to garage sales this weekend, knock on wood.
My hoarder friend has been working on her hoard the past 2 weeks and reporting in daily, so I was surprised and disappointed that she almost convinced me to go with her today. A day at a time, I am chipping away. Tillie it is so helpful to hear your reminders like taking baby steps. My friend encourages me to keep going when I am exhausted, and today I feel so good to believe I deserve time to relax and enjoy this site, and my yard. I sure wish I could hug you Dianne and Tillie!!!

beautiful day today, sprayed back yard weeds for 3 hours, all weeds, don't use the area, usually pull all weeds, too much time so sprayed the whole thing. I have a friend here that is also a hoarder, she wanted me to go with her today to estate sales, at first I said yes, then called back and said it wouldn't be good for me, pretty sure I would add to my hoard. She was upset at first. She called to tell me of her bargains. I reminded her she just reorganized living room and complained there is too much furniture, then she bought more. She said there is room in garage, reminded her her goal this summer is to make room for car in garage, then thought we had better stop talking, she was defensive like any good hoarder would be.
I did cancel trip with another friend, her husband is going, I helped her in planning of trip, she was so stressed, glad I said no, even though she was disappointed, right now my focus is on not acquiring and getting rid of stuff. Today is warmest day so going to relax for awhile.
I am so grateful I didn't buckle and do what friends wanted this weekend, it would have not been good for me to go with either friend. I feel a sense of freedom.

So happy to read all you have done! WTG!!!

You inspire me and give me such hope for a brighter future.

I have found that munching on a few almonds periodically through out the day gives me some energy when I'm dragging, levels out my blood sugars and helps me to concentrate.

sprayed weeds this morning, finally called to make a doctors appointment. there was a cancelation today so went to doctor today. Went well, my thumb hurts like heck, got med refil, and rx for mammogram, and lymph nodes checked. I talked to her about hoarding and she said, "its just stuff, you don;t need to spend all your time deciding which clothes to keep, everything you bagged up, take to thrift store" sounded so logical when she said it. When I got home, it was easy to fill garbage can with things outside, that in reality, I will never use. Bought a new hose for yard, mine isn't old, just kinks everytime I move it and water stops. Got a good one at costco said it won't kink, hope so. I am going to try eating more protein,see if that helps me feel better.

hangers not in living room anymore, now see it will be easy to clean living room in morning

to clarify, the tarp roof was made two years ago when hoard expanded to deck. I plan to have a roof put on when I get the junk off, or just get junk off and enjoy the deck, hey that is even a better idea.

I just wrote a long note, and it is gone. thanks Tillie, I need to allow myself to do small steps with the clothes. Today I got so frustrated, I just put the piles in bags and stuck them in another closet, I know that is bad, just couldn't stand to deal with them. Now have to get all the hangers and some clothes out of living room. Tried clothes on out here, and the mess made me feel as bad as when I had piles all over living room when I first started this. Tomorrow my focus will be on getting living area totally organized again, I don't like the clutter at all. Started cleaning crap off my deck so I can enjoy it more. I made a roof out of a gazebo and tarp, it looks like a tacky mess. Needed to keep rain off my junk you know.

Remember to take baby steps, one little bite at a time will eventually get you results. :D

just wrote a novel on here but hit a wrong button and it is gone----basically I was whining that I didn't get everything done, need to focus on all that I did get done. I am too tired to do any more and am going to a class at the library at 6 so need to go shower. I am having difficulty deciding what to get rid of so that "maybe" pile is too big and not enough in give away. Tomorrow am will give it another shot.

Tried on all dress pants, saved 2 brown, 2 black, 11 dress pants to give away. Hung up capris, 5 pair fit and look good. Hung up brown and black jeans that look good. still have a stack of blue jeans. Ie think closet will be fine. although when pulled out the bins on the floor, found cute summer clothes I forgot I had. Will have to trade out some of tshirts hanging for cuter bin shirts. Think a shelving unit in closet with bins of shoes, leggings, shorts, might be good. I will have to measure space in closet and find a shelving unit to fit, I am sure I have one here, somewhere. It really is amazing how much stuff I have to go through. I get one part done and find more to deal with. At least I am motivated to continue and can now see benefit of just having cute clothes that fit in my closet. Thanks for being on here with me everyone.

another early morning, woke up anxious about telling my friend I am not driving her to her aunts apt (4hours away) She is so nice she will understand, it is just the fear she will be upset since she has had to deal with so much lately. (oh yea, I have gone through alot too)
I finally realized the reason I didn't wasn't trying on pants, it was under 60 degrees in here. I built a fire last night, and just stoked it so I can start trying on pants today and hang the ones I like best in my closet. I plan to count them and put that number in my closet so I remember what I have to go through to have enough room in closet to find clothes to wear. The sun will give plenty of light today so I can see any flaws in pants.
I used to try on pants at thrift stores for hours a day, so what is the big deal to do it here?7

Thanks Tillie. You are right, I do not want to get away. I really want to finish closet and be here for the sunday group. It is going to be in the 70's so want to be here to spray weeds. I will tell her tomorrow that I have enjoyed helping her with her aunt, and now I realize I really need to keep focused on my projects.

Diane,

Could you explain to her that you are in the middle of a hard, long term process of getting your life back on a track to a new improved you?
Less stress, healthier lifestyle, developing positive habits to replace negative ones.

I think if you go when you really would rather keep doing this work you will get resentful and things could develope that would damage the friendship.

If you were looking forward to getting away I would say go. But you aren't.

After being away against your will you may lose all motivation to keep up with all this GREAT work you have been doing.

(((hugs)))

Thanks Tillie, I have to practice doing small steps. Hadn't considered breaking it down to 3-5 pair of pants at a time, that should be easier to start knowing I don't have to do it all, especially when I see how huge the pile is. I called my friend and that I am not interested in going for that many days, I think I really want to cancel going at all, told her I wanted to be here for group sunday, then she talked me into going on Sunday, I think I need to cancel, just afraid she will get disappointed. I wish it was easier to say no to people, and say yes to my well being. I do worry more about pleasing others than myself, so shopping was my go to thing to "take" care of myself. thanks everyone for your updates, I feel like I know you personaly even though I only met you a month ago, and not even in person.

WTG! on all you did today! :D

Remember to break down a big task into smaller bites.
You could try on 3 or 4 pair, decide keep or not.
Then take a break and do something else.

I think 50 pair of pants is a bit excessive. ;)
Right now I have 6 pair and I wear jeans all the time until warm weather, then I only wear dresses & skirts.