So glad you had a great party, SubC.

Tatoulia, what a nice friend. A very thoughtful gift. Also I hope your mom is okay.

Thank you for shoring me up, too. I like being able to come here and visit, no judgement. It's nice.

I am sooooo glad I have tomorrow off, too. It has been quite awhile since I had two full days off in a row. There is something about being relaxed at night because I don't have to get up early.

I made veggies for lunch and dinner. Teen is having a hard time, so I broke the no buying groceries and went and got them some snacks. They are just miserable so I thought it would cheer them up. There was a breakup. I don't know much else, but it's sad.

I have clean laundry on my bed that I will put away before I sleep.

Why do I have this urge to get rid of things, and really want it, but when I go in a room to start, I get totally frozen and do nothing? Hm. I will try again tomorrow.

Congratulations on finishing the school year with a great party, SubC!

We went to the museum of fine arts tonight to see the Hokusai exhibit. BF, Emiko and me. Emiko brought us each a beautiful framed picture of BF in front of the business he sold. I was so touched (she had come by here before we left for the museum) and I couldn't believe my lovely gift. He opened his present later in the evening and was similarly touched. He was unaware that she had even taken the picture. It is a gift that will help me once he leaves.

Mom fell and is in the hospital. The poor thing. I assume she is okay; I have not heard from the hospital despite leaving a message for the dr. I'll try again in the AM. Emiko and I went to mom's tonight to feed her cat. I left the kitty an extra plate of food and I'll get up early tmr to feed her.

Lila, you are strong. I'm sure it gets tiring being so strong. I'm right here, shoring you up.

Cm. Sending you love.

Good last day of school.

Best after party ever.

Everyone went to bed an hour after I got home. I spent part of that hour doing chores.

Dishwasher running

Off to bed myself. More eventually.

Thank you Tatoulia. Your words are a comfort. Being heard, and not 100% alone, is a comfort. I threw out the brokens and feel somewhat better. A few items were not broken, or just small chips. I put those into a box that I need to find space for in my room. You see how my locked room is a storage unit, and anything outside of it is subject to destruction. I hope this changes.

I did not cry, but just resigned myself to the fact. And, told myself, things are just things. It is God and family that matters.

I am getting things done while relaxing. I gave away some extra produce I had so that it does not all go bad before I can use it. And I am going to use some produce to make a recipe for lunch today, too.

I loaded the dishwasher and it is running.
I went through my emails in my personal account, over 250 of them. My goals was to get down to 150 and I did get under that goal. I have a few I need to do things about or respond to and will do that. But the work ones I will do next week.

Enjoying the quiet, the windows being open, the tv on some of the time, coffee, and time with the dogs.

I will keep working on my room and donating more things.

Hello everyone! Lila, I'm sorry about all that went on. I am so sorry. If you can limit your grief, please do so. Tell yourself you'll cry about the things for X minutes and then let the glass things go. I have not been in your position and my advice is stupid. Trying to find a way to comfort you.

Florida specialist: please reach out to Cory Chaomers and ask him if it's okay to advertise here. Keep up the good work.

SubC, last day of school. Wow. 5e time is flying.

I slept in today. My company gave us a mental health day today. I had to get up in the am to turn off my alarm and feed the kitty. I then slept solidly until the doorbell rang. My meds were being delivered. I got up, then got dressed and took the garbage and recycling out. I have so much laundry to do today. Let's see if I do it.

Have plans with BF and Emiko tonight. Should be fun. It may be the last time she sees him before he leaves.

That's the plans for today. Basically nothing.

Hi SubC, I hope your day goes well. Change is hard even if it is a recurring, shifting change.

I had a good day yesterday, worked hard, had a very successful day. Now I am off today, tomorrow, and Monday which is much needed! I am so happy to be home today and not talk to people (except my family).

Today I:
Got up early, read the Bible, made coffee
Gathered trash in a bag, as it is trash day
Picked up broken angels and put them in the trash bag too
Took that bag of trash outside to the bin
Rolled the other bin to the road
Pulled some weeds out front and put them in the bin
Put dirty clothes and towels in baskets/hampers

There is a lot I would like to accomplish over these days off, but mainly I want to enjoy being home.

What are you all up to this long weekend?

Hey everyone,

I hope this message finds you in a place of understanding and compassion. It's not easy to open up about personal struggles, but sometimes, finding solace in a supportive community can make all the difference.

I'm here today to extend a helping hand to those who are dealing with the overwhelming challenge of hoarding, an issue that hits close to home for me. Growing up in a family of hoarders, I intimately understand the complex emotions and deep attachments we can develop towards our possessions.

As a real estate professional specializing in the restoration of homes affected by hoarding, my mission is to bring newfound hope and clarity into your life. I've witnessed firsthand the weight that hoarding can place on individuals, families, and relationships. But please know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If you find yourself in need of assistance with cleanup, repairs, or even if you're contemplating a fresh start by leaving your current home, I am here for you. With empathy and expertise, I can guide you through the process, providing the support you deserve every step of the way.

Restoring a home isn't just about creating a physical space; it's about restoring your peace of mind, reclaiming a sense of control, and fostering a nurturing environment that promotes well-being. Together, we can embark on a transformative journey to overcome the challenges that hoarding presents.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to me at 305-209-4632. Your call will be met with the utmost confidentiality and understanding. Remember, you're not alone in this, and I am committed to assisting you in any way I can.

Wishing you strength, courage, and the promise of a brighter future.

Warm regards,

Ty Cornelius
Professional Hoarding Restoration Specialist

Lila, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

Last day of school.

Not ready. The tears started yesterday. I wrote notes to my four favorite students and we had our big official goodbyes at the end of class and then the annual school wide ice cream party. Two of them don't have classes today, so I don't know when/if I will see them again.

I had a returning student who is in art school come yesterday with her final project from her ceramics class and give a presentation. That was nice. We got a bit of a catch up.

Before I leave for school I have last assignments to check and the counter mess to stash in the basement.

We got our end of the year teacher gifts from the school - it was a $15 gift card to a grocery store - which I have already spent on donuts for class today, and a school t-shirt with the new logo that I don't like on a color of shirt that looks awful on me. I didn't order any shirts this year for the first time because I have 15 without holes and don't like the logo. I'll wear it on days we do a project that threatens my clothes. I kind of wish they would just skip the teacher gifts.

My boy and his wife are here and we had a short visit last night before bed. I'll stay as late as I can at school tonight cleaning up my room to avoid Dh parents as much as I can. My all time favorite student - who graduated this year - is staying late to repaint the classroom ceiling he decorated for the prank and finish gridding my table, so that will keep me there as well.

Must function!

hi all,

A long couple days of work, and very tired. I would even call in a "mental health day" if I could, today and tomorrow. But, as much as I believe things can go on without us, I did need to go today and I am glad I did. My boss took us to lunch for a meeting today and covered the bill, so that was nice for us all. Tomorrow is my "big day," the event I have planned and spent many hours inviting people to. A kickoff event, something I was hired to do. So, I must go, and I will be glad I did. And then I can have Friday off.

I was supposed to work this evening as well, but 1) our dog got a foxtail in his paw and we were trying to soak it and help him stop licking it and 2) Teen had a quite angry meltdown. It was brewing yesterday. They had gone in Tot's room and grabbed a bin of pretty ceramics that I had saved that Teen had treasured as a little child, and she dashed it all to the floor. All the little things, ceramic angels, a porcelain elephant, little dishes she played with and glass trinkets she had gotten from vacations, all shattered everywhere. I looked but cannot bear to pick them up. I started, but the angel with the wings broken off and the other angel with its praying arms broken off just put me in tears, so I just shut the door and they sit in there. I will have to deal with it. Many saved, treasured things will be going in the trash. I had hoped she would have them on the shelf in there and show them to Tot and explain where she got each one. But, no normalcy here. Sad.

Anyway then last night Teen threw the DVDs I sorted all over the room, as well as all of my work papers and a basket of laundry. Then tonight they went into a rage and broke the wood trim off all the walls downstairs and found 2 glass items somewhere in the garage, brought them in and threw them. Glass everywhere. Also broke the baby gate. Police came and did nothing, crisis people were called and did nothing, told me to take Teen to a counselor. As if we have not for many years. There is sadly no help for mental illness, autism, any of it.

Anyway, Son fixed the gate and cleaned up glass out of the family room but the rest is just strewn everywhere downstairs.

I am exhausted, running on little sleep, dog is licking his wound raw, and I have a soft cone somewhere but who can find it in the clutter? He is limping. I have to take him to the vet in the morning before work and will miss part of work but my team will start on the event prep without me.

I am glad I am not prone to depression because this would really put me in an abyss. I am very tired. Everything is messed up and broken and so many things need to be done that I don't know how to even start.

I hope tomorrow is better. I fear my entire paycheck for 2 weeks will be spent on getting my dog well.

Glad Monday is also supposed to be a day off, and I hope it stays that way.

I worked late last night. Got through a lot of work. Back to work today. Need to do my hair and get dressed, etc.

Cleaners today. Clean sheets when I get home!

Have a great day, everyone!

Lila, great work! And you were so smart and thoughtful to let the teen's accomplishments stand without pointing out the dishes! A victory for both! Great to get some things out of the house! Well done! I hope you feel lighter!

If you or your son or even teen are handy, you could watch some YouTubes to figure out how to patch the wall.

Put the ducks away! Yes, SubC, your grandson may save us all.
I did wash my sheets and folded them and I put them away. Just one load and it felt good.

I didn't do the dishes last night because I went to bed early. So I just did them. I need to do my hair, get dressed, and go to work.

Take care, everyone! We are doing it!

Good morning!

Lila, you sound like you are making progress. The recliner was a big step! And I am so happy that working with teen went well!

I'm glad you get another day off on Friday.

Tatoulia, did you get to do your laundry?

Bean and I had fun with the ducks yesterday. They really enjoyed splashing in the baby pool.

When dsil picked Bean up, Bean instructed me that when I got home, I must "put the ducks away, and dump out the water, and put the pool back sideways." His need for order may be my salvation.

I did not stop and take any of the free irises someone put out by the road. Even though they were free, I still have too much to plant.

I would like to mention that I don't almost always pour myself a glass of wine when I get home on Fridays, I almost always have one on the last day of school.

I have lesson prep and grading to do this morning because I was too tired last night after chasing ducks around in the sunshine.

There are clean sheets on the bed for my son and ddil, but there are still baskets of clean laundry parked in their room.

I have a rain barrel workshop tonight and a last kiln load to fire after school (well, not the last, but the last that will be returned this year.)

Ok, I need to get busy!

2 weeks to my vacation.

I worked from home today about 3 hours and now feel like I need another day off. That will happen Friday.

I sorted the DVDs and put 9 of them, in cases, into the donate box. Then I asked Son to dismantle the DVD shelf and he took it out to the trash. Actually it is a big relief. I do need to get that hole fixed though, it's an eyesore.

I also went behind Teen as they cooked and encouraged them to "leave it like you found it." They were able to put away their leftovers, and wiped off the stove and counters. They forgot to put their dishes in the dishwasher, and went downstairs, so I did it this time. I want them to feel like they did something good, with the cleanup they did do.

So the kitchen is still clean.

I also folded up winter clothes and put them in drawers, and hung up a few things. I picked up papers and receipts off the floor in my room and threw away most of them.

Ran a couple errands. Feeling like I am making some progress here.

SubC, thank you for the kind words about my mom. I appreciate it have a great day with your grandson!

Yay for new shorts, CM! That's a good feeling to know you are set as you head into warmer weather!

Lila, good thought-process! No need to keep things just to hide the holes in the wall! Congratulations to son for clean8ng the kitchen! Do not feel guilty! He's developed good habits so no need to discourage.

I'm going to PO today to send the pants back and to mail a gift to a friend. That will feel good to get those things out of the house!

Hoping to do some laundry today. We shall see if the machine is busy.

Working from home today, in office tmr and the next day.

Good morning. I caught up on all your posts! So nice to hear the good things. I hope the iffy things improve. I wish my memory was good enough to recount and respond, but to do that I need two windows and today is a one-window morning.

I took today off after being required to work Saturday. I needed a day at home. I will do some calls or emails, but no big work. I might run an errand later. It is so nice outside!

So how is everyone's decluttering/cleaning efforts going?

I keep getting injured or sick and it has really made my house look like no one cares about cleaning. In fact the kitchen was so bad yesterday, almost every dish dirty in the sink, food spilled on stove and counters and left to dry there, even wrappers and trash on the counters. Thank you Teen. Teen refuses to even throw away a wrapper when the trash can is right there. I tried to start cleaning yesterday, scraped dried noodles out of a pan and off the stove and counters, and got overwhelmed. Well I am very thankful that Son cleaned the entire kitchen while I was sleeping. I feel a bit guilty he did it and not me, but also so very thankful to have clean counters, stove and sink and clean dishes. I know Teen will just wreck it again which is so discouraging.

Goals for today:
Get stuff cleaned and out of the house.

I did give away that big recliner yesterday. I loved it, but the seat was peeling the fake leather off, and once it gets bad no one will take it. So I gave it to someone who wants to cover it, for their father who needs a recliner. This made a very nice big empty space in my living room.

Also behind the recliner is a narrow tall shelf for DVDs. However teen has knocked it over so many times it is basically beyond repair, shelves on the floor, frame broken, DVDs all over the floor behind the recliner... so now just in piles.

Goal for today: go through the DVDs. I tried last night and got too emotional. A lot of the videos you can't find on netflix or amazon or anything. I will try to choose a few to donate and put the "watch soon" ones in the tv stand and box the rest, or maybe move them to a shelf in Tot's guest room until I can handle donating more.

The shelf was covering a big hole in the living room wall that Teen made a few years ago, and it makes me very sad, but I need to throw out this broken shelf. The hole is too low to hang anything over and too big for me to simply patch. It hurts my feelings to have all these holes in my walls... but I can't keep clutter just to put in front of holes.

There has to be something deeper about that.

Will report back later!

Good morning!

CM, I am so glad you have new shorts and are getting time outside and reconnecting with people! Those things are very important!

Tatoulia, you are taking good care of your mom!

I'm sorry the store was closed.

I am getting Bean a little bit late this morning - and no donuts. He's staying home with daddy instead of leaving for work with mommy and daddy is not a morning person. We're meeting in a different location too. So, I took an extra hour to sleep - which turned out to be a good idea because Dh woke me up a couple of times last night - I think I was snoring, and I know I was hot. I got pushed over.

Anyway, chores to do and a bit of clean up before I do go get him.

Have a great day!

It's been busy but mostly good.

I bought one pair of shorts because I actually found the kind I like. They are men's 100% cotton jersey with drawstring and pockets but you can't tell, they are pretty plain and basic. I needed a new black pair as my current ones are ready to be yard work shorts. I am also going to order a grey pair that they didn't have in stock, and possibly a blue. I've been short of shorts, haha, so this is legit. I still have those ones from my friend that I need to sew on, but those are bright colors like pink, yellow, orange, etc., and I'm still slow getting to my sewing. I'll be glad to have those eventually; meanwhile I'll have some versatile neutrals ready to go.

A really good thing happened. On Friday morning, roommate returned from walking her dog with the news that a garage sale was in progress at the house of my childhood friend 2-1/2 blocks away. I've been trying to figure out how to reconnect with this friend. I know that I learned after the fact that her mom had passed away a year or two ago, and I would see the truck for the lawn mowing people occasionally. Yet I never saw my friend come or go. I remembered that she used to go to work very early before Covid, had no idea whether she was working remotely, whether the phone numbers I had were current, etc. Tried calling them but the voicemail message was generic so I didn't leave a message. Didn't know if it'd be creepy to just go over there and knock on the door after so long. I'd been at an impasse.

So... I jumped in my van and off I went and my dear friend was there and so happy to see me! We have a lot of catching up to do. There is a sad side, in that she has some serious health issues. But perhaps she will get through treatments and who knows. Trying to pray, hope, and not worry about that, and just rejoice in our renewed contact. Even got to chat with the friend's sister as well.

This spring has been blessed with renewed contacts, my cousin who moved to town, and another friend recently in addition to this one. I'd been feeling cut off from my past connections a lot, kind of alone in the cosmos at times, so now I am reassured. I think there will be positive overflow in terms of reduced anxiety even. The endorphins from the encounter itself, and the easing of existential angst, can really help a person in that regard!

Today we had the bunny get together. Different venue, quieter, which was refreshing. Attendance was small, probably because lots of graduations are taking place and other things connected to the school year drawing to a close. The bunnies seemed to enjoy themselves. I got a migraine right at the end, I think from something different I ate for lunch that might've had MSG in it.

This coming week I have one appointment that I will be glad to check off the list, and the forms to fill out. Then I will feel relieved. Hoping the bunny people don't pressure me too much about clipping toenails again at the shelter, which always eats up two consecutive days. I don't mean to make the bunnies wait too long, but I need some breathing room. We'll get it done asap, but on my timetable as well as theirs.

Add me to the list of "wonder about autism sometimes." It does run in the family along with ADHD, which I know I have. Like you, at my age I'm not convinced pursuing any official confirmation or disconfirmation (if that's a word) would be worth the hassle. So I just sometimes refer to myself as neuroatypical or neurodivergent which covers the bases. Makes one wonder a little bit, if there are connections with autism and clutter and hoarding though. Maybe someone should do a study. Probably someone has.

Been enjoying the outdoors in the evenings here lately, before the mosquitoes arrive in force. Connecting with nature is also a very good thing. The weather does get crazy and unpredictable here, but on occasion that works out in our favor. Peonies have been blooming and I love them.

Joke was on me as the store had closed on May 8 and another boutique went in, so I kept walking around trying to find it! So I will be mailing back the linen pants. Do not want to drive to a different location. So that's settled.

I did very minor grocery shopping as o started to feel very weak. I've felt like this lately. I came close to fainting a week ago when BF was over. I think I need my meds checked. I am not dehydrated. I'll start checking my blood pressure every night.

I stopped by mom's. The bra I brought that is too big for me fit her very well. I have one more like it and will bring it over. Plus I ordered some me for her. So all is well in that front. I also brought her a fairly nice navy shirt with some eyelet detailing that will look nice on her. I'm so glad that some of my clothes can go to her. I wish I had some skirts to give her but I don't think I do. I think I've donated the only two that would have made sense for her and I'm not sure they would have fit her as she has a very big stomach and no waist to speak of.

Not very warm but I'm not feeling great so will run AC in bedroom tonight.

New kitty is a joy. I'm so glad I have her. My last cat made it to nearly 19. This cat is 15. If I can even have two great years with her, I'll be happy. Quite frankly, I'll take whatever time we have. She is adorable and very social and cuddly.

That's the news from Boston.

Wow, that resonated with me, SubC re letting people ruin your day when they aren't even here yet. You have helped me immensely. Recently I saw a friend whom I hadn't seen in many, many, years and I got it into my head that she was bringing her husband to lunch and I was upset about it for a week. Now in my case, it didn't come to fruition and in your case it will, and yet we both are wasting the same time.

Hippos distributed. That is so sweet.

I slept relatively poorly last night. A lot of up and down and heartburn, which I hate.

I have to return shoes and two pair of linen pants that I bought. They colors weren't working for me so I bought two more and now I have the original colors to return. I could mail them and once a woman in the store was a bit snotty, by pointing out that I could mail them, but I don't want to be intimidated by that one person's remark. Look at me, making decisions based on a random statement made to me once. I need to stop this.

I need to get to mom's today to change the cat box. I normally don't like to go on sundays because that is the day she has her college student visit and I feel that it's my day off. But I know kitty's box needs to be changed so I will head over sometime later.

I don't now if I mentioned this but mom was a little weird yesterday. Basically had her boobs hanging out in the dining room (she was having lunch when I stopped by). She had in a cardigan with no shirt underneath it. She said she didn't have any shirts and so when I was in her place, I found two in her drawers and I hung them up in her closet. Then I came back home and ordered her four or five tshirt type tops from Macy's. Two were in white, which is a disaster, but she spills on everything so what does it matter. I buy on the sale sale, sale prices for her. The quality is good enough, meaning that the cotton is thick and the seams are sown well. So I bought what I could find in her size and I am hoping they all fit her okay.

Today I have to wash my blanket and put it away. I was much too hot with it last night. I had the ceiling fan on but couldn't open the windows due to rain. It's now sunny and cool and I am happy.

I keep crossing with Tatoulia.

I am so tired. This morning I slept until I woke up at nearly 8. I remember Dh alarm going off, but he got up, made coffee and left for golf without saying goodbye. I'm quite sure I was asleep again in seconds. I don't remember the coffee grinder.

I have so many different things I need to do today. It is hard because I don't shift well. I don't even want to start.

I am working on making sure I get some rest and some things that I enjoy. It is so stressful to know my in-laws will be here on a day I normally just dump everything and crash. Dh knows not to talk to me on the last day of school. Mil never stops talking.

I will be an exhausted, wrung out, emotional mess about ending my year with my kids - some of whom I know I will never see or hear from again. The hardest part of my job will still be in front of me.

Mil will be all "isn't it nice to be done?" (I'm not) "but you don't have to teach any more." (That's the part I like.) "but now you'll have time to catch up on the house." - subtext, this place is a pigsty.

I'm going to buy myself a bottle of wine and pour a glass when I get home Friday. I almost always do. Fil is extremely uncomfortable even being in the same room with someone who is drinking and mil is very judgmental about it. Although sometimes she gets in a mood where she wants to tell you things like she likes the taste of rum (in cake, with the alcohol baked out) - tee hee aren't I bad?

When I feel the urge to respond to her, I'll just have another sip of wine.

I really need to find a way to stop letting these people ruin my week when they aren't even here yet.

Made it through graduation. Hippos distributed, tears shed.

The autism thing is basically a working theory with me. Probably am, not big on labels. It's just shorthand for a grab bag of things that may or may not coexist.. I'm pretty sure I would never have offered a teacher an armchair diagnosis. I also care not at all that she did.

Yay for the donate box!

I didn't do anything useful last night, so I need to get out of this dress and back to my regularly overscheduled life.

My in-laws arrive in six days and school will be over!

Hi, Lila, I've sent you a few messages via IG but you obviously aren't getting them. The pants I have for you are Eileen Fisher wide leg linen in size XL if you are able to check the size chart. Also a size XL double knit wide leg pant from J Jill. I sent you the size charts. Let me know if you can look these up and if you think the pants would fit you now or if they are anything you'd wear. If not, that's absolutely fine!

It's a grey day with a bit of rain. The green of the trees is very pretty.

We went to hazardous waste day, then visited mom, then ran a few more errands. Successful day for us! And it's only 2 PM so pretty snazzy.

Interesting about the autism comment, SubC. Two of my kids have it. And Teen has told me I am as well, but I dunno. I feel like at this point it doesn't matter... I am who I am.

Son is making fresh lemonade right now. Can't wait for a glass.

Tatoulia, are you able to see my IG? I cannot get through their hoops to 'prove' it is not a "fraudulent account." I keep pressing the 'email me a code' thing but it never shows up in my email.

I did get a lot done today including some nice restful time. Ran to the bank, deposited the cash, came home and paid the bills. Called to find out gift card balances on all those cards, wrote the balances on them with sharpie, and put the smallest balances in my purse to use up (major stores so I can get toilet paper, laundry soap etc).

Then got calls, texts and emails from work. This is unusual because my boss also takes today off. But apparently he got sucked into working. I limited my involvement to a half hour, and I will get paid for it!

Picked up a bit more. I will go back in my room and work on it some more before bed. Will ask Son to take a box out to my car to donate.

Hi all!

Lila, this year I am not doing any camps, so once I finish the evaluations, I will have no more paid or time scheduled work until the end of august.

I hope to be focusing on the farm. My pottery, my grandson, my house, and of course - lesson planning.

That drawer sounds really hard. I hope you did keep going because it seems like after tha5 anything would be easy.

I do not think teen hates you. I think everything is really hard for teen right now and you are safe to vent anger at, because unlike dad and maybe others, teen knows you. Will. Not. Leave.

Teen wants to do a food challenge with you right now. Just enjoy that for as long as you can.

I told one of my graduating (tomorrow!) seniors a story this week. The story involved me panicking and fleeing in the face of a tidal wave of balloons, but only tangentially, the rest was a funny interaction with a younger student that followed. I got to the end and my senior asked "have you ever considered getting a formal autism diagnosis?" (Emphasis on "formal") I just said "what good would that do me?" No boundaries. The boundaries are just gone. I can't get to next Friday fast enough.

Currently resting with some wine and snacks before I get back in harness.

My heart is breaking, too, Lila. I'm glad you found money and gift cards. You had to go into the drawer. Next burst of energy you can work on your bedroom and the piles.

SubC, I forgot what all you wrote but I know you had a good senior day.

Hello CM!

Hey Road!

So I am about to shower and lie down. I'm not feeling very well. I went to mom's and saw her. She was pretty good!

I did a lot of laundry today but it doesn't count since I haven't folded it and put it away. And new kitty sleeps on the bedroom chair so no putting it there. As soon as I shower, I will fold it and put it away.

Tmr is hazardous waste day. Making a list of what I'm taking with me.

hi all, I'm back. Love my day off!! SubC, do you have to work over the summer at all (outside work at home, of course) or can you be home focusing on those projects and decluttering and such?

My boss is going on leave in 2 weeks which reduced my hours at work by about 4 hours a week. I also finished teaching my class, so that reduces my work-at-work by another 4-5 hours a week. My overall hours will go down a little... but the nice thing is, I can work from home on more days. Much better for me.

Hi all, miss you all! Hope to post a few times today as I work on the house.

Today I took out the bathroom trash and started to declutter my bedroom.

Silly me, I started with a nightstand drawer. It is funny to me because my bedroom is all piled up and looks terrible with no space, but I start with a drawer... sigh.

Anyway I did that because I wanted to find some cash to put in the bank to pay a bill I have not enough in the bank for. I knew some was in that drawer and some in another dresser so I looked through. I got rid of a few things (will list in my daily tally). But here is the thing.

I was literally crying and my heart breaking as I sorted that drawer. Drawings and notes from Teen, when they were little and loved me. Their first haircut ponytail in an envelope. How I miss how sweet she was and how close we were. They hate me now. I don't know if it will ever change.

Then in there were momentos of my best ever dog who passed 2 years ago. And a pawprint of our little dog who helped me raise my kids for 15 years but is long gone.

Then the pair of soft, brown leather gloves my ex (Teen's dad) bought me when we were dating. When we were in love. It was the sweetest gesture; they are good quality. But they are a bit tight and they break my heart. I was going to donate them, but I think I will put them in the little box on the shelf I have for Teen, if and when they are grown and stable. They might like to have something that shows their parents loved each other.

Then a couple of papers from the funeral of my dear friend/ex-boyfriend who died almost 10 years ago. I miss him so much.

Well that was so hard, but I did save the things that are so meaningful and threw out other things. I found so many gift cards stashed in the drawers and dresser - more than 25, I kid you not - so I sorted those and will call for balances and start using them instead of cash.

I found enough cash to cover my bill, and will put it in the bank this afternoon.

So now I am emotionally tired, but want to keep going.

I also listed one of my recliners online for free. It has some damage to it, and if it is not fixed it will get worse and then no one would want it. So I hope someone will come take it who knows how to fix the minor damage.

What are you all up to?

Good morn8ng.

CM, I'm glad you could find your paperwork. How many past copies do you have? Can you discard any? (Shred or tear up and mix with food waste or bunny bedding)

I truly do hope you find a solution. Maybe if roommate rents a storage area, you can have her things out of your room and tha5 will be enough to break your gridlock.

Everything here is such a mess right now. It's overwhelming and I actually want to work on it, but there is too much going on at school.

Today is my last time bringing animals in this year. Next year I don't have any animal classes. Tomorrow is graduation. Next week is wrap up and a lot of parties plus my in-laws and son and ddil arrive. Then evaluations. 17 days to my vacation. 8 to my last day of school.

Grading to do still..

I want to be free too. Want it so badly. Just feeling uncertain these days again. Need to chill and pray, for wisdom about what to do, and for hope because the clutter all seems very daunting and in a state of gridlock. I'm very, very tired of this situation my life has ended up in. Maybe I will feel better if I rest and pray and just try to get some peace of mind.

Got a weekend of activities coming up, a class on Saturday and a bunny event on Sunday. Plus a routine doctor appointment on Monday. I also need to fill out my medicaid paperwork, now that the Covid emergency is over it's no longer suspended. I don't like filling those out, it's tedious. But gotta do it. Found the folder of past ones to look at for examples. It was hard to get to but I extricated it from the tight space.

Today they filled stairwells with balloons (taping off the bottoms and avoiding primary fire escape routes), hung streamers throughout the hallways, put up black lights and disco balls in some of the classrooms, turned every single sign or decoration in the hallways and several classrooms (including mine) upside down, wrapped the individual drawers and desk tops of all the administrators in wrapping paper, carpeted the hallways and covered tables with bubble wrap in every classroom BUT mine - the only room where we always NEED bubble wrap - but it all found it's way to me, and hid 300 rubber ducks throughout the school. I brought home a red one.

They also left me the markers and acrylic sealer for the prank they had planned in my room - I often lament the fact that I want a permanent grid on my tables for mapping and cutting. They were going to grid my tables, but realized that they had not gotten permission and it was permanent and might be seen as vandalism. We're gridding the tables next week.

I have too much grading to do.

Carry on!

Hello everyone! It's Thursday! It's trash night for me so I've double checked my fridge to see if there's anything that needs to go. I also have cat box to change out.

How is everyone? Cm we support you 100%! We want you to be free of the clutter!

I have two pair of shoes to return. They are so pretty but I've tried them in three different sizes and I cannot make them work. That's okay. Gone are the days where I try to make ill-fitting things work. They never do and end up being a waste of money.

So that's what I'm doing today. Working and thinking about what to do next here.

Looking forward to hearing about the prank!

I had a good day at work. A bit of a headache tonight. I came home to a clean house and clean sheets! Such a great feeling! I'm so glad your son helped you with your sheets, Lila.

You know what,

If she wants to pay for it, go ahead and try it. Just promise me that you will never in any way feel obligated to cover the cost and that you will not leave anything important there so that if she stops paying you can let whatever is there go.

Do you really not have the use of a table for a few hours?

Tatoulia, I'm glad you have clothes!

Loaded kiln, heading to class.

Senior lock in tonight.

Cross your fingers I get a good prank.

Y'all...

It was my roommate's idea and it would be her money.

I cannot declutter the way people do who have houses. I am renting a room. These tables and such of which you speak, and these multiple rooms that comprise a home, are not my reality.

My roommate and I are well aware of the potential pitfalls and are intelligent enough to plan proactive strategies for dealing with them, and I will be monitoring the weather potential and advising her on feasibility, and if I don't feel confident that we can do this without making things 10x worse, then I will recommend that we don't go ahead with it.

We haven't pulled the trigger yet. We have time to evaluate.

In general, clutter problems are fueled and perpetuated by task and commitment overload in this modern society where consumer goods are too easy to acquire an excess of. Some people can stay on top of it. Some have executive functioning difficulties and it's harder. I know that's a bugbear I'm going to have to reckon with.

On the flip side, we have to do something radical or we're just going to implode here.

Hello, everyone!

Work is so busy. Last night I had an event to go to, which I enjoyed, but it was very tiring to be on. I worked from home today and back in office tmr. And so goes the grind.

All of my clothes are the clothes I had before I gained the weight, SubC. I won't have to buy anything beyond a few white shirts. T-shirt types but with a 3/4 length sleeve. I also bought two pair of linen pants so I have an alternative to skirts. I didn't wear pants prior to the pandemic. Or I can say rarely. Last summer was when I rediscovered the joy of linen pants. It's fun wearing my dresses and skirts to work again. I feel like me

I'm feeling pretty good about getting rid of stuff. I'm feeling strong. I'm trying to be at my best for when BF leaves. I think if I and my apt are at our best, I can just focus on what I'm feeling. Does that make sense? In the old days, when I was still de-hoarding my place, then summer was when I hated my situation the most. Id be hot and my place would seem twice as dirty.

Road! I'm glad you stopped by! I felt so sad when I saw that your brother died and the terrible effect it had on everyone, especially your sweet son.

Lila! I'm so glad that you are here and doing your best! I'm fascinated by your pantry plans with CM.

CM, we all love you and support you. You know that we will tell you like it is. SubC is correct. The second storage space is just that, another storage place. Please don't. We will support you if you do go ahead with this but please don't.

Good morning!

CM, I am also very happy about your cousin moving there. I just want the other post to stand alone. Seriously. The idea of another "temporary" storage unit frightens me. We know "temporary" and your budget is one of your concerns.

Lila, the YouTuber is "three rivers homestead" a lot of other homesteaders participate and tag "pantry challenge"

Good job cleaning out the fridge!

I tend to lose my lessons and have to recreate them. Someday..

hello all!

Road!! So happy you came to post. We missed you! I'm sorry for your loss, and your difficulties... but also glad your son is better.

CM, that is great! We can do our pantry challenge together! I want to look up the YouTuber that SubC mentioned for ideas and inspiration.

Tatoulia, wow!! What success with the weight loss! congratulations! I went to the Dr today and I HAVE to lose weight, so he gave me a prescription and said to get the weight off to help my many health issues. I will take it tomorrow.

SubC, I caught up on your posts too! My last day of teaching (a class at work) is this Weds and I will be so relieved. Although I enjoyed it a lot, it took up so much time because it was a brand new class so I had to study, create a lesson plan and worksheets every week. Whew, I don't know how teachers do it all the time! At least if they ask me to teach this class again in a year or something, I have the materials done and it will be easier.

Yesterday I had Son help me wash my sheets and make my bed.
Today I sorted most of the fridge and threw out stuff that was gone bad but I never got rid of it because I felt so guilty about it all.
Fresh start. I will run the dishwasher tonight.

CM,
I say this with so much love -
No.
Do not put money into another storage unit.

It will not be faster or easier.

You will have to gather the things, load the things, drive the things, unload the things.

It will rain.
The wind will be bad.
An animal will get sick.
Duties will call.

How much would that storage unit cost? It would be better to just give away that much money worth of replaceable stuff from your house every month until you have enough room to work at home.

How much space will giving away the wood make? There is an easy to use, free storage area with no commute.

Clean off one table and start three piles - keep, maybe, go.

When the table is full, put the keep back where it came from, put the maybe back if you have to, or in a box if you can find room for the box, and take the "go" out of your house. Start the next space. Even if a "space" is only a drawer or half a shelf or a box, every "go" makes a little more room.

A hoarder renting a storage unit is like and alchoholic opening a fifth to just put a drop on a toothache. The odds of it ending well are not high.

If you can't clear a table, clear the seat of a chair, clear a piece of floor, anything! Start small. If you clear out enough small things, you will have room to sort things that are a little larger until eventually you can make a nice workspace in the house.

The May Monsoon Season may have arrived here. At least yesterday, when we got an inch of rain in a short time.

I had to run outside and pull the van up into the driveway because the street was getting flooded. At the time, I was on the phone with my cousin, who just moved here in March after taking care of things of her dad's (that was my uncle who passed in February). Her husband had already been established in a job and house here.

She and I may get together tomorrow and I can take her some places I know - she wants to find a job, needs some additional computer classes and I know that guy at the library who teaches them, so I can help her make that connection.

I'm feeling guardedly optimistic that I will feel more connected to family now. I do have one other cousin and husband in town, whom I need to make more effort to see regularly. That one is 10 years older than me and this one who just moved is 1 year younger so we had always been closer. But I need to appreciate them both and cultivate those connections. Maybe all three of us gals can have some get togethers.

My roommate has made arrangements with the Habitat for Humanity place to come pick up some of her stuff in the garage - nice wood that someone can use and that will make her garage decluttering go more smoothly having those big unwieldy items gone. And she is also proposing that we get a very temporary storage unit so that we can both do staging of our stuff - we are both so overwhelmed and we would have to be very dedicated to not letting it become its own problem - we already discussed that. It was her idea, not mine. So... the main challenge for me if we go ahead with it will be staying on task and coordinating the work there with other daily and weekly tasks. And hoping the weather at least minimally cooperates.

It's a big deal, could be a gamechanger if it goes well. Again, it's risky, we know that. But things can't keep on the way they have been since her retirement and even before that, during her working from home time and the pandemic and crises like the lack of plumbing - things that are resolved yet the clutter piles we each have accumulated remain and threaten to keep growing. We must dig out. And we will feel so much better when we do.

So lots moving and shaking in my little corner of the world. Trying to mentally keep track of it, and to process the emotional excitement (my cousin lives in my town now - mind blown!) is quite a bit! But good things for a change, instead of all bad crises and glitches. So trying to enjoy the blessings and make the most of opportunities.

Goid morning!

Road! It is so good to see you! I am glad your son's health is better. I have been worried!

Grief takes time. I know the house must be a huge job. Are you struggling to let go of things there, or is that part ok?

When is your last day of school? Mine is the 26th. Since I don't teach on Mondays, I only have 8 more days. Three of those are basically clean up and play. Really hoping for no rain on the 26th.

Tatoulia, great job on the weight loss! Have you gotten some new clothes? Or did you have smaller ones to get back to?

I'm sorry you weren't feeling well last night.

I think I overdid working in the heat with Dd and was dehydrated. By the time I got home from taking her to the airport I had a bad headache and felt pretty crummy. Water, ibuprofen, and sleep have fixed things. Annoyed that I can't keep up with a girl in her 20's.

Today is a Bean day. No real plans about what we'll be doing.

Hi all,

Sorry to be absent for so long. Tatoulia said hi on Instagram and it nudged me to make my way back over here to touch base.

Happy Mother's Day and caregiver's day today to all of you.

We are busy with end of the year school things, spring gardening, and summer plans. The major unpleasant ongoing project in my world is working on my brother's house and possessions. We have worked through a lot of it, cleaning a lot, tossing a lot, donating a lot, boxing things up and getting quotes on junk removal, etc. We had his memorial about a month ago already. He died back in February. Still very tough to deal with grief-wise. I think I'm struggling more now than a few months ago but I think that makes sense. My son is doing ok. His health seems better. My husband actually just got diagnosed with fluid in his chest cavity also like my son so that seemed very strange. Family dynamics are similar. my dad is a handful and is having a knee replacement this week. He and my mom are both really underestimating recovery times/intensity I think. My sister is struggling a lot with losing my brother like I am. We are talking more and she is retiring next week so I hope that helps and doesn't make things harder for her.

Anyway, trying to chip away at everything and hang in there.

I hope you are all doing ok. I will try to catch up a little and see what you've been up to recently.

Clearly, I didn't proof my post. I generally have shrimp in the freezer. Also, I buy my groceries nightly.

We had cake with mom today for Mother's Day and she was having issues with her shoes, which ended up being perfect timing since I had two pair for her present. She was a bit all confused, thinking she'd been moved to a new apt, but she pulled it together okay enough. BF joined me and afterward, he came here to help me with some projects. I gave him an antique chandelier that I bought for my bathroom and have decided not to use. My ceilings are too high for a small chandelier. So he'll take it overseas. One more thing out of the house.

We walked around and then we stopped for dinner. I'm not feeling well. We split a meal and still I'm too full.

As of this AM, I am down 32 lbs. feels great. The next 8 will be crucial.

Hello everybody and Happy Caregivers and Mother's Day to all!

I echo SubC's and CM's enthusiasm die eating what is in the pantry! I cannot do that since I buy my foods pretty much nightly. I'm built this way. I generally have tuna in hand and Shri not in the freezer, but other than that, I ought to figure out what I'll have for dinner and pick it up on the way home. Cooking for one is a luxury. It's what do I want. I do have one girlfriend who comes for dinner once a week and I buy whatever we will be having the night before. She doesn't have any strong preferences for what we will be eating so I don't worry about what I decide. Although, our meal for next week will be chicken Waldorf salad and I think she'll enjoy that.

I took three bags out to goodwill yesterday. One tablecloth, one bedspread, dishes (going back to whence they came, meaning goodwill) and some clothes. The navy dress would have been lovely on Lila but the sleeves were not going to work for her! I feel your pain, Lila! Lila, I sent you a message on IG with the size charts for the pants you might like. See if they will fit now and if you don't like them or they won't fit now, then not an issue, I'll take to goodwill.

I have several bags for the cat shelter. I'll figure out when I can drop them off.

Relief to get these things out of my house. I feel so much better.

Next Saturday is hazardous waste day. I have some electronics and some textiles (clothes that cannot be donated) to take there. Using the shredding service at work has made my life very easy. They've told me I can continue to use it since we are not meeting our minimum each month since there are so few people at work and so papers, too. So that is working out for me.

Beautiful day here. Sunny and a cool, breeze. Really nice.

Happy Mother's Day!

I got a "happy caregivers day" for all those who care for another life from an expat in Japan this morning - and that is everyone here!

I got a truck load of mulch and a truckload of compost yesterday. Could have made one more run if Dh and I hadn't had concert plans, but didn't push it. Dd2 helped me start work on the flowerbeds also.

Lila, I think the no food challenge is excellent. I especially love that you and teen have a goal to work on together.

There is a YouTuber who does a "pantry challenges every year where she tries to feed her family out of only what is left from what she grew and preserved last year in order to make sure she is using everything, make space for new, and be realistic about quantities. She only lets herself buy essentials if she runs out of them (like flour, butter/oil, salt, maybe rice..)

I slept late because we got home from the concert at 11! It was the last of the season and ran long because they were honoring the retiring musicians - one of whom is a friend of mine. It was a really fun concert though. Now I am tired and lazy and not doing much.

My in-laws arrive in 12 days. Dh has asked me to take the boxes of Easter decorations out of the denn(easy) and clean off the counter (aaaa!) before they come. Actually, he said he doesn't care if I throw everything on the counter into boxes and stash it, so..

Ok, off to try to use this day for something before we take Dd2 back to the airport tonight.

Lila, funny coincidence, I've been thinking too that I tend to accumulate too much food. It's been more of an issue since pandemic supply chain issues, but those seem to be getting resolved so I need to chill. Another driving factor is my dislike for the experience of grocery shopping, so if in doubt I go ahead and buy something so I won't have to go back if I change my mind. And it saves gasoline to go less often.

But I do tend to lose track of what I already have, so I've been thinking to be more mindful about that, and work on using up stuff. I don't know if I want to be absolute about no buy, but just be more deliberate in consuming the current stash and then see where that leaves me after I've cleared some space in fridge and pantry. There are things I've wanted to make such as smoothies yet I don't because the fridge is crowded and I need more room to keep my boxed ricemilk for them.

We'll see how it goes!

ohhh you guys, we are doing something new!

Teen suggested this, and coming from them, I think it is good advice. They told me we have so much food that all the cabinets, fridge and freezer have no room and things are hard to find and going bad. Teen said "we should just stop buying things and eat what we have!" I told them they would run out of their staple items they love and they said "yeah but we would just have to get creative!"

And so the BUY NO FOOD CHALLENGE has begun!

We want to see how long we can go without buying ANY groceries. Since I get a free produce box each week, plus have plenty of produce that needs to be eaten, I think I will do fine. We will use up what we have, which is a lot of frozen, canned, dried foods.

At some point I think we will break down and make a "Farmer's market" rule that if we go there once a week we can get local produce. That starts in about a month. So until then... we will see what we end up eating.

Tonight it was frozen chicken wings baked in the oven, and baked potatoes, and I made a fruit compote to serve over ice cream. I would have made a salad, but had no one to chop things as Son fell asleep.

I work a half day tomorrow. I hope to get my sheets washed and have someone help me make a salad.

ohhh thanks CM! That does look fun and interesting!

I have no captcha issues. It could be the multiple refreshing? I just choose any boxes that have any part of a motorcycle, or bridge or whatever and it works for me.

I am tired and being lazy. Tot and Acorn are coming with their parents for dinner and I need a plan. Actually rather nap. Kitchen is a wreck and no one is helping me clean it. I got the dishwasher loaded and asked Teen to clean up their mess, no luck. Asked Son to help with washing a few handwash items. He is busy but is likely to help me later. I just want to sleep.

At night I always thing, "why did I waste the whole day? Why didn't I get this and that done?" but during the day, I am just like, blah... too tired.

I worked this morning and work tomorrow morning.

Question - has anyone else had difficulty with the Captcha lately - it adding too many extra pictures in rapid succession after you've already clicked on the original ones? I have too literal a mind for some of them, like if part of an item extends into another square whether to click it or not, that sort of thing. So I hit Skip until it gives me one where there are several individual small photos. But then it does the thing of adding more and never letting me succeed. Curse you, Captcha!

Anyhow, attempting this post again.

Lila, maybe you'd enjoy this thing I remember coming across - I was into the original Color Me Beautiful a little bit in the 80s-90s, though I wasn't rigid about it because I believe I can basically wear any cool color of Summmer or Winter and a few of the Spring ones. Probably few if any of the Autumn ones.

Anyhow, now some have broken it down into a 12 category structure:

12 Season Color Analysis

Have fun!

Thank you Tatoulia.

CM, wow, very busy! It sounds like you are doing so much. I'm glad you came to share.

I am enjoying my day off, going through emails a such, writing things in my planner for next week. Thinking about what to eat for lunch.

I sat in the sunshine for a bit, too.

Hope to get some laundry done and clean up a bit as well.

How are you all doing this fine Friday?

One of those times it has been (and promises to be for the foreseeable) so busy it's hard to keep up with reading and posting here. It will get easier. In the meantime, here's a short one.

I stayed at the bunny shelter house four days and three nights last weekend and was tired afterward. A couple of days early this week I took naps. Feel caught up on rest now.

There have been lots of tasks to do, places to go, things to remember. Roommate has a number of medical appointments this month, and for some of those I stay home in the mornings and care for her pets instead of going to morning Mass. But it's okay, soon we'll be done with that, and she's so far getting favorable reports, good for another 100,000 miles etc.

I've got a graduation party to go to tomorrow for the daughter of some church people - I used to sit behind them on Sundays when this young lady was an adorable baby. So I bought her a fleece throw with the mascot of her college she's going to go to. Roommate's birthday is Sunday and I bought her a set of patio lights for the screened in front porch. Hope she likes them.

Roommate has come up with an idea for our clutter problem - we have both reached Critical Mass due to the house being small, constant craziness, etc. We also lost time to the dog's illness, bad weather, and more. I'll tell more about what this plan will entail in another post soon.

The year is getting to the point of my capacity insofar as events go - the one tomorrow isn't a stress in any way, the rabbit club ones are more tiring although we do seem to be getting it down to a routine. As long as the late-septuagenarian mom of the bunny house is not overworked - she was so tired after our most recent event. I was pleased that during our weekend, though, she seemed rested and not overtaxed. Her knees bother her so I took the rabbit care tasks that involved stair climbing and that worked well. We had one bunny freak out, can't remember if I told about that - it was on Saturday night, everything had been so peaceful, and this poor furry dude just got triggered big time. He was okay by Sunday morning, though, and no lingering sequelae, thank goodness.

Other things that are upcoming include more Inkscape graphics classes at the public library in July. But I really want to learn to do Inkscape well, so hopefully that'll be fun. The teacher is great - an artistic nerdy guy with a good sense of humor and willingness to help. He also helped me out with some glitches this laptop has had - software conflicts and updates I still needed to do.

Things in my town are strange right now - so many places are being remodeled - restaurants, one public library branch, the parish church that's not mine but the next closest and where I go sometimes because it's bigger and has more activities - it's just kind of crazy that it's all going on at once. And on occasion I'll drive in a different part of town and some building that had been around for years is just gone. I guess it's a good time to be a building contractor here? It'll be interesting to see what they do with the ones where I regularly went. I especially hope that library branch will be done well - please no harsh migraine inducing lighting!

Well. I see that my "short" post has turned into another of my infamous rambling ones. Surprise surprise! Take care, ladies, I'll be back more often as soon as I can.