Yay! Lila is back!

I was thinking about you while you were gone, but not talking at you because I knew you were too busy to post.

I hear you on becoming overwhelmed and quitting on the room, but what you did sounds like a really good start. Positive steps forward and fully completed tasks.

Thank you for mentioning the tea. I have backslid on the evening snacking and need to refocus.

I think you can ask ddil to not put things on the table. You can say "I would really love to be able to all eat together, but I know it's really crowded in here. I've been trying to come up with a way to not have to use this table as storage. Can you help me? Do you see anything we could shift to make a better space to put stuff when it comes in?" Something like that.

I'm glad teen has another place to go where they are loved so you can have a break. I'm so sorry about the incident. I hope you get some rest.

CM, the scheduling around another person thing is hard. I get frustrated when Dh gets up early because I end up not doing yoga. I feel awkward doing yoga when he is up and moving around the space, like I am intruding on his day. But really, I should just do it. He wants me to be healthy and in good shape. I'm not saying you should necessarily just do what you want and ignore your roommate, that is a very specific me thing, but also, be sure that when you are accommodating her it is actually what she wants and not just what you think she wants - although it sounds like you two communicate well.

I started my pottery class last night. It was fun. I think it is going to be really good. Also I got some new clay to try. I like it a lot, which is kind of bad because it is more expensive than my usual clay. Also, I have not made a dent in the scrap clay in my studio. We'll see how the finished pieces look. I have homework.

We are leaving to visit Birdy in a week. I am feeling both excited and overwhelmed. I have a lot I need to get done today. I also really need a shower.

Ok, off to get started. Will report back later.

post 2, what I am doing today.

I am struggling with the small bedroom upstairs. It used to be my kids' room, at one point it was a guest room, then a play room, then Teen's room, then back to a play room. Now, it is a storage unit.

It was so bad today I could open the door but that is all. No ability to step inside or reach anything except the dog food right by the door.

I have been tossing (literally throwing) bags and boxes of things in there getting ready for TotsFam.

Today I tried to work on it a little. I pulled out one bag of dog food and poured it into the dog food bin in the kitchen. I pulled out a box, a whole bunch of paper bags and plastic bags, and a bunch or reusable cloth bags. The cloth bags will go in my car, maybe with a few plastic bags. The rest is going in the trash because I have no room and I have no time to drive them to be recycled. I just need to be able to get into the room.

Then I started placing smaller fragile things of Teen's onto a wall shelf so the grandkids can't break them. Then found a broken item of Teen's childhood, was very sad, threw it away.

Became overwhelmed and quit.

There are two plastic shelves in there with not much stuff on them, but I can't get to them. There is a bed piled with stuff, several tubs and totes of stuff, a bookshelf of stuff... it is overwhelming.

My goal is to clear a path to a shelf (even if I have to chuck things from the floor onto the bed pile or to the side) and start placing things I want to keep on shelves.

That is all.

ok, catching up! Notes to all:

Thanks CM. This week in my devotional was focused on fasting. I have struggled so much with this that I did not even try it. I thought about trying today, but thought it might be a bad idea while sick. I don't know why it is so hard for me. Food hoarding on my body, perhaps?
Another "poor" person here - I made $17k last year and am on medicaid for insurance - but I feel very rich in my life, in a job I love, with people around me I love. It's my choice to have this life instead of money. I could make far more if I was in my degree field. I am comfortable enough, and make do. And my kids are nice! (My son bought me the new phone! It's refurbished but nice!)

My dreads: getting rid of something and then realizing I need/want it back. Getting into a room to declutter and feeling overwhelmed and stopping. Having people pressure me to clean or declutter. Worrying someone who doesn't know the state of my house will stop by... like my boss or something... and I would seem SO inhospitable to not invite them in.

SubC, I hope your tea-bedtime-snack habit is sticking! I will join you on that one, starting tonight.
You would not like how my table looks. Yet, I have not put anything on the kitchen table. It is all stuff dil puts on it, from boxes to clothes to food to toys etc. If there is a place for it I put it away, but I don't feel like I can just grab all her stuff and move it... or ask her not to put things on the table. I dunno. I tried moving everything to one end but it just stays there.
Excited about your fence!

Tatoulia, you are still doing well at keeping your place neat. I think you are a kind and generous person the way you pay your cleaners. And how you have offered to send me your unneeded clothing several times - I am so touched by that, even though I am too self conscious about clothes to take you up on it at this point. I think I look terrible in anything, and worry I would receive and not wear, so I just continue on with my same old.
The mom stuff is very hard I imagine, not only in stuff factor but in quantity.

Other notes. The trip went very well, I feel like being in my job actually does some good in the world and lets me love people in tangible ways. Teen had a terrible meltdown after I came home, no I don't think it had anything to do with me being gone as they prefer me being gone - it was a response to a stressful situation they were anticipating. I will just say it was traumatic and police were involved, and an ambulance. I am emotionally exhausted, Teen is at my other son's for now. I am truly devastated at how much pain my child is in and how little hope there seems to be. It breaks my heart over and over, every day.

But I put it in a box on a shelf so I can have a life, and have some joy, and go on despite that tragic situation and pain. I am thankful for that, so I can still smile, and care, and do good.

Quick hi for now

SubC, I hope both Birdy and the new baby will be fine and healthy, and the rest stay healthy. That goes for all of us and our loved ones.

Lila, I'm glad the spiritual reflection resonated. My Lent has been a bit disjointed in some ways but I sure do like my Tuesday group.

Time itself gets disjointed, projects, planning, all of that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just getting old and that's why, or if it will improve once I can get something rolling. It had a couple of months ago, then I lost momentum, recently picked up a little but wish it was a whole lot more so that I don't feel like it's so precarious.

We had our quilt bingo yesterday, my cousin ended up being called into one of her jobs so she could only get with me for lunch beforehand. I sat with some friendly people though, but was tired afterward, took a long nap, and had a migraine afterward. I need to be better about getting meals on time. There wasn't anything I could eat for a main course at the bingo, and I wonder if the nachos I did eat might've had MSG. Although not eating and overstimulation could just as easily explain the tiredness and migraine.

So today, I did do a load of laundry but otherwise am just trying to get my bearings. I am going to figure out something for a real meal here in a minute. I have difficulty stopping for meal breaks at the times most people do, because I'm just getting into the day's productivity around 11:00 a.m. That is due to my roommate getting up later, shared bathroom situation, misc. things that are logjams in the flow of mornings. Roommate and I have tried brainstorming but haven't come up with many solutions just yet. Maybe we will eventually.

It will all shift again anyway, as soon as spring gets her outside earlier in the mornings to do gardening stuff, so I may just have to wait until the shift happens and then figure out how to fit my tasks in around it. Those are times I would really like to be on my own, but I know I'm not financially or mentally ready at this time, so just have to make the best of whatever for now. In some ways even after a year and a half of her being retired after working from home during the pandemic, we're still feeling our way along.

well hello! I made it back. Worked a very long stretch, got one day off and was supposed to work another 7 day stretch but came down sick (go figure). So I missed yesterday and today, slept most of yesterday, and today am resting. Not sure if I will go to work tomorrow or not. The trip/retreat went very well.

I came back and search my name so I could first read anything said directly to me in my absence. Thank you for remembering me! CM, I liked what you had to say about the idolatry question. I think you are leaning into the grace of God - he is not frowning down on us with our clutter. He wants us fully present, but knows we aren't perfect. We do our best! I am working through my feelings of putting things before God, and learning a lot from my Lenten devotional reflections.

I am going to grab some lunch and then sit and catch up on the other posts. I thought about you guys the past week! Will be glad to read about how you all have been.

Yes Tatoulia, there is not much point in going to goodwill without a bag. I don't think you want to shop right now.

I have let the counter of doom build up a bit over the weekend. Mostly recycling and donate items found/generated by Dh as he worked on various things and snacked.

He is still rearranging furniture in the house. The disruption makes it hard for me to get into any decluttering or organizing project because I am already unsettled.

I started all my tomatoes and did some pottery yesterday. Also caught up on laundry and dishes.

Today is a Bean day - it will be sunny and in the 70s (wow!) so we will work outside. This evening I will take him home and go to my pottery class.

Hello everyone!

That's a good list to be proud of, SubC!

I did not make even one goodwill bag. I saw my friend and her mother for lunch and since I had a car, I stocked up on seltzer. Sister arrives Thursday. I have a car Thursday so I'll go close out mom's bank account and will go to goodwill. But I need to make a bag, right?

I got in touch with the guy about selling my art. Only the extra stuff. Am getting an appt for April or May.

Slower lazier day than I intended. Read a little, did some word puzzles, did chores, watched a short video, wrote a friend, made two flying pigs, put away the laundry, cut Dh hair, found the grow lights and set up one, potted up about half the ridiculous number of willow tree starts. Am now showered and thinking about what to wear to go out to dinner and a concert with Dh tonight.

Things I am proud of:
Did some clay work, if only a little
I am using the potting soil and saved pots that I had stored
I am not behind on starting seeds

I ran some errands and took out recycling. Will lounge and then get to work on donations.

Fantastic news on the little one! Thank goodness!

Sounds like your night was fun and a success!

I'll let you know my progress. Haven't done a thing all night but I have a car on Sunday so time to get things donated.

Good luck with your bins!

Ddil texted - they got him right in today. diagnosis, breast milk jaundice - the only easy option (special formula for a week)

Much relief!

Just got home from the play - 7 of the ten in the children's chorus are in or have passed through my classes! I'm a little hurt no one else invited me. (Not really) they were amazing!

Need to do chores and get to bed before I turn into a pumpkin.

Hi SubC yes googling the possibilities brings terror. Sending you peace and many, many good thoughts. We love your family!

The chemical smell is gone now that they have dried and I febreezed them. I just don't know what to do. The pretty silk dress would be nice for a friend and I may ask her. The crazy pantsuit and the other dress may go to goodwill. It is a lot of work to describe the outfits and post on Etsy. Then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The one brand of dress, Suzy Perrette, goes for a lot but again, I'd rather sell in person than do a deep dive into condition.

I know an area of my closet that I will clean out. There are two big bins that Emiko filled and they are on a shelf in my clothes closet. Whatever is in them, I haven't seen in a few years. So unless there's something magic, should be able to clear those out this weekend.

Anything for less stuff.

Oh dear Tatoulia, smelly is a problem.

For me, Febreeze is also a problem. Can you try washing them again? Baking soda maybe?

If you try to sell them online, just be sure to be honest about condition and include clear pictures of any concerns. Do you have any kind of vintage shop you might be able to take them to?

I teach today. I hope it will be a good distraction. I am feeling sick to my stomach with worry for Birdy and his parents. His poor mama was in tears yesterday just over the initial blood draw. She is smarter than I am and has not done the stupid thing I did and googled the bad possibilities.

I also have a ticket to a "local" play tonight that one of my much loved students is performing in. I will get home late, but the little girl asked me to come and our drama teacher told me that it should be quite a good show (it is not children's theatre). My own daughter was in a play with this troupe once - the auditions are fairly competitive. (It's on my way home, so I will plan things to do between work and home to fill the four hour gap. (The first hour of that is usually used up with after school tasks, and there is half an hour of driving)

Got through a bag of stuff here but nothing for donation yet. Mom's stuff came out a little smelly. One dress is so perfect. Silk, peck and peck, brightly colored, with a bubble skirt. So lovely. I think bubble skirt is the right term. Very elegant. Don't know what's next. Everything is hung to dry. I sprayed febreeze to help.

I don't know how to sell these because they are not in pristine condition. So hard to know what to do.

I am praying and sending positive thoughts to your family, SubC. We are here for you.

I just put in a load of my mother's vintage dresses from Peck and Peck. Let's see how they clean up using water and mild soap on the gentle cycle. Then I can see what is worth trying to sell. Two dresses and a crazy pantsuit. Time will tell if dry cleaning was the way to go.

Now I'm going to do a little work and sort through papers.

Sending much love to our little birdie.

I made the blanks, and then right before I got in the shower I got a text from ddil with some additional information from birdy's appointment. It is scary because it is either basically ok - easy to treat, or very bad. She has to schedule testing tomorrow.

I just want all the people I love to be ok and to not have to worry.

Anyway, I did shower. But I didn't build a fire.. and I don't have energy for this clay.

I like your plan for tonight. I think the cola is okay. It's a 20 oz so not very big and I'm only drinking it for the pick me up.

I cannot overemphasize how much it's bothering me to have this much stuff.

I'm thinking of trying to wash a few mom dresses. I am doing a lot of laundry tonight

Good luck and strength Tatoulia! Isn't the cola flat by now?

I lost momentum around lunch time and gave two and a half hours over to eating and reading and watching videos, but I pulled it back together. I have not done all of the things I wanted to do today, but I have done a lot. And I got the calendar stuff together so that I feel less out of control.

Dishes are caught up, laundry is much better, the toys are put away, and I reclaimed the previously cleared section of counter plus another inch. That doesn't sound like much, but the counter is 2.5 feet wide, so that is 30 square inches of clear space. I am going to get there - one inch at a time.

Birdy went to the doctor for his 2 month check up today. He has moved up to 20th%ile for weight and 28th for height, and his motor skills are "advanced". (Brag, brag)

I never made a fire because it had gotten warm and I had moved outside by the time I got that far, but I brought in new fire wood.

I think I am going to go out to the studio, make some quick little pig blanks to work on in the house, shower, get in my Jammie's and start the fire. I've got about an hour and a half before Dh gets home.

Happy Leap Day!

The cold and wind blew in here starting yesterday, CM. Great news on the baby's development, SubC

I need to get rid of stuff. It feels urgent. I have so much mom stuff still here. I hung her etching, finally, today. I have my bag of stuff to sell. I will have a car on Sunday so I need to make some bags to go to goodwill. Also, sister comes next week so the clutter needs to go.
Wish me luck and strength!!

I'll take another sip of the cola!!

Good morning!

Happy February 29.

I have big plans for today as far as getting cleaned up and organized, although I have already slept in a bit because I am tired.

My excellent news for the week is that dd1 had an ultrasound and the baby is growing and developing normally with a strong heartbeat. Her chance of miscarriage has been downgraded to the statistical norm for her age and race, and we are looking forward to a third grandchild in September!

Also last night Birdy rolled over for the first time while I was watching him on a video call!

One of the things I need to do today is some calendar planning, as March is starting to feel overwhelming. I have promised to milk the farm sitter's cow for a few days, We will be making a long visit to Birdy, my new pottery class is starting, Dh and I have three evening commitments, I need to do the lion's share of work for my spring sale, I need to get most of the garden started, I have two grape vines to move, my new fence should arrive at the end of the month, I need to make a decision on this buckling and possibly arrange pick up, and my in-laws have announced that they will be visiting us the first weekend in April - arrival and departure dates unclear.

But I am going to start this morning with picking up, dishes, yoga, chores, and the new additions to the counter of doom from the week. And building a fire, because after a few days of borrowed spring/summer it is winter again.

I'm happy I'm starting to get stuff done too. :) Long may it continue. Hoping too that the pace picks up. I think it will. We had a crazy cold front come through yesterday. Windy, and about a 60 degree drop as we'd been having record highs. But it has passed through and things are calm now. Bunny girl is doing well; I'm being a helicopter bunny mom to make sure she keeps on doing okay. I was glad that she was doing better enough that I felt safe leaving her to go to most of quilting yesterday morning and then Bible study in the afternoon. Also glad Monday's laundry was easy to put away.

My cousin is planning to go with me to the quilt Bingo on Sunday. I'm so glad to be getting together with her. She has such a demanding schedule. We are kind of different - a dutiful hardworking Hufflepuff, while I'm a Ravenclaw (and a dreamy Luna Lovegood one at that). But it's amazing how much family bond and common outlook remains strong between us even though we haven't gotten to see much of each other since our teens. I'm not close with her husband so basically I only see her when she has time free to meet with me, a lot less than I had hoped when she moved here. But I treasure what time we can get, and perhaps in a few years she will retire and we can have more.

Tomorrow will be swimming day, and Friday will be my payday with its attendant errands, then getting ready for the weekend, baking or buying goodies to take to church. I think - I hope - next week will be more free. I want to do some more things like I've been doing plus start on some more ambitious things.

Tatoulia, I've heard caffeine can do that for people who aren't habituated I've never actually experienced it because I started drinking coffee when I was 8.

Bean went to the grocery store with me, and he tried to convince me to put the soda back, which was kind of a hard moment, but I bought it anyway, because there will be a time when Bean is not here, and I will have a soda instead of something that's worse for me. And that is all the willpower I have right now. He picked grapefruit for our snack and corn and spaghetti for dinner.

CM, yay for fixing the fan and the bunny! I'm so happy to see you getting stuff done!

Bean and I cleared a lot more garden space today. I cut brambles and he cleared weeds with his bulldozer. We also put the grape arbor posts in (well, I did, he "held the ladder" - it's a folding ladder, I was two feet off the ground.) and laid down cardboard. Then we filled the wheelbarrow with loads of mulch and I dumped it and he spread it out with his hoe all by himself. He did a beautiful job. He needs a new hoe. The handle is getting short for him. (Or maybe he's growing?)

House is a mess. Likely to get worse the next couple of days, but I'm fine with that.

Congratulations on fixing the fan, cm. I love that. Like the old days before everything was disposable. Love it!

I got my recycling etc out and changed the kitty's box. About to do the dishes.

Speaking of soda, SubC, I never drink it myself (I drink unflavored seltzer) but I had a coupon for a free raspberry spiced coke and a I a few sips this afternoon and my focus is incredible. As to my review of the taste, it doesn't mean a thing to me and I wouldn't order it on purpose. Did not turn me into a soda drinker.


I made a list of things to do and I'm going to work on them now.

Today has gone well overall, despite one small glitch which is now resolved. My bunny was not wanting to eat her morning greens and had a gassy tummy. I had been just about to start the laundry but I took time to care for her. She seemed stable enough in a short while that I went ahead and put one load in and sat back in the room with her. Within a couple hours she bounced back and right now she is finishing her morning pellets. I was able to start a second load.

It's a beautiful warm day. I ate lunch. Late, but not ridiculously so. I have difficulty sometimes with fitting in lunch on busy days, because it's hard to figure out where to break in the middle of tasks. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it will work out. And then I eat very late.

I also got my vitamins and supplements taken with lunch, which is another thing that is too easy to skip but then I pay for it. My supplements are a carefully curated selection of stuff that helps my brain be less squirrelly and my temper more even. Plus they help my energy level. Definitely can tell when I skip or forget them too many times in a row.

I got my fan taken apart, removed the hairball and lint in it, squirted some WD-40, reassembled it, and it works a treat! Really glad to get that done what with the warmer weather seasons approaching. Next "been meaning to" task is sewing those jeans pockets on two remaining pairs.

Wanted to spend more time outdoors but it is already getting on. Had planned on reading my Bible study book, which I'd gotten behind on right out of the starting gate but was catching up. Tomorrow I hope I can make it to quilting later in the morning. Helping roommate the early part. The other ladies had been sick so we were on hold with it.

The quilt Bingo event is this coming Sunday. I'm hoping my cousin can come to it. And Friday I want to figure out a dessert to take Saturday for the setup, even if it's storebought because I'm not on speaking terms with my roommate's oven. It overbakes my cakes on the outside and leaves them undone in the middle, no matter how many tricks I try.

This week's schedule is a bit fuller still but not insane.

Tying that back to the official topic at hand - I think the structure of our society contributes a lot to hoarding issues. Financial and housing insecurities can make you hold on to things both for a feeling of security and "just in case" fears.

Also, things we don't need - like plastic toys and fast fashion - are so cheap and easy to get and heavily advertised, while things we DO need - like medical care, healthy food, safe shelter, and transportation, are expensive.

Today is a working outside with Bean day. I'm not sure which tasks we're going to get into, but I expect to use up some of the stored cardboard and get lots of exercise. He will be busy with his Tonka trucks. (The real metal kind, bought well used at garage sales for my ds who is almost 30.)

We also need groceries. I have a list. I am buying some sodas both for me and Dh, but the rest is produce, dairy, and a loaf of bread because I haven't gotten back to baking yet.

Benefits in this country are difficult. In my opinion and my opinion only, there isn't enough of a safety net for people. Living in a city, I see first hand the issues facing people. I don't have any answers or solutions, but the lack of true support, starting with housing and food, is so painful for me.

I used to belong to a parenting site where one of the women once said how much her husband appreciated being included because he didn't have many friends in real life "because real life doesn't have an edit button". It was funny, but I also get it.

Here, sometimes the typos drive me nuts and sometimes they are funny.

And sometimes I serial post when I would otherwise edit.

My dream of corner cabinets was short lived. Dh hung some insulation we had in the basement in the corners and it made very little difference, so he has dropped the idea. (And put the insulation away)

CM, the whole "disqualification" thing just makes me crazy. People talk about people not wanting to work, but it is not that black and white. Nobody wants to work when the work would put them worse off or effectively pay them a couple of dollars an hour!

My farm sitter has a really complicated family situation. She has two little sisters who were not legally adopted for years because her mom couldn't afford to stay home with them and give them the time and attention they needed if she gave up the foster care money. She has three kids who are legally fatherless because rights were terminated for abuse and so there is no child support - the state gives her benefits for them, but they can't garnish the wages of the biological father the way they would with a man who just abandoned his kids but wasn't dangerous, and on and on...

I wonder if you could barter some of your sewing or computer skills for some of the things you would like to pay for.

Yes I feel supported here! You all keep me honest even when it's hard.

Thr cleaners have been life changing for me, and they were on,y possible because of everything everyone here has helped me to accomplish! I cleaned out my storage, I cleaned out my house! I paid off my mortgage and I got out of debt. Once I took care of the hoard, it allowed me to take care of other things in my life. And it's been a group effort! We did this!

I'm glad you have the fencing decision made and ordered!

Okay, SubC, I'm relieved to hear I didn't put my foot in my mouth! ;) And I do think the fence is such a very useful thing, it will add value to your property, and of course it's not frivolous in the least. It's a wise investment, and making wise investments in upkeep is part of being a property owner.

You do have a point that sometimes writing is better - and in many ways I prefer it - the tricky part with this particular website is that once a comment is made, it can't be deleted or revised at all. (I learned that on Reddit there's even something called a "ninja edit" where if you edit a comment within three minutes of posting it doesn't show it has been edited, which I don't know if applies to what I'm thinking about or not, but sometimes it would at least be convenient for catching typos I make, like hoping no one would see a really goofy typo and I could fix it.) And in some life circumstances, like phone calls, I can really get in a snarl because I can't think on my feet verbally. So I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to both.

Liked your responses re "The Dreads." The struggle is real! And I don't consume a lot of decluttering media these days because so much of it is geared toward those with homes or at least apartments, and speaks of one's various rooms - well, all I have is the bedroom and parts of other rooms. So some of the info is just not applicable, and some of it gets me feeling discontent about not having a place of my own. Who needs that when they're trying to feel positive and energetic and ready to tackle decluttering. If I can pluck a handy tip here and there out of such materials, well and good, but otherwise... meh.

And yeah, those people who say you can't have something if you don't have the container - they make me angry, and I would get defensive some years back and that's why my hoarding remained entrenched for awhile. Now I am willing to be flexible, but I think it can still be a discernment process rather than just forcing oneself to ditch something because of some arbitrary decluttering influencer's rulebook. It's not one size fits all.

I also used to want to punch the computer screen when I'd read those ADHD decluttering articles that say to just hire someone to do the tasks you find hard. AS IF! Hellooo, not all of us have the money for that, Karen!

Tatoulia, I think it's great that you can afford the cleaners - and if I did win the lottery you have no idea how many employment opportunities I would gladly create for multiple people, haha! A personal assistant, accountant, secretary, cleaning crew, bunny nannies, management people to run the various companies and nonprofits I'd start - okay, Earth to CM...

Meanwhile... SubC, you are right, at least I don't have that awful decrepit van. I do want to keep my current one in good shape, and sometimes it's a challenge to find the $$$ for routine stuff. I hope that improves. I'm working on frugality in nonessential areas. And who knows, I will turn 62 in April, and I do want to talk to some people at the senior center and perhaps other places as to whether, if I got a very tiny part time job just to put a little back in the kitty here and there (because I don't want a big stressful job unless I feel like I could handle it), if I wouldn't have to worry anymore about getting kicked off disability. I know at 67 I will for sure convert to regular retirement and be home free, but it'd be good to be able to bring in a little these next few years.

Lila, I imagine you're busy and traveling and working a lot but we'll look forward to seeing you when we see you! Take care!

Yes Tatoulia, I was agreeing with and supporting all that about your cleaners!

I love hearing about all the people in your extended "family of choice."

Dh is rearranging my house for acoustics again. He wants to put some sound panels in the corners of the den. Currently those corners are just unused open space ne t to the bookshelf. I am negotiating for small built in corner cabinets with sound panels as the fronts. He could totally build that himself. We will see where this goes...

I got some work done outside today, but now I am tired from the wind. Big plans for more outdoor work with Bean tomorrow.

DANISH BREAD! I'd forgotten but now I'm chuckling all over again.

The cleaners are money well spent for me. They perform a service that I will never, ever do. Yes I'll change my sheets and vacuum but honestly at this point it is the best money I can spend. And I'm thoughtful about it, meaning that if I'm sick and have to cancel, I still pay them. It's budgeted and therefore I pay them. And I've told them that if they are sick, I'll still pay them.

I got a bag out of the house and another bag and a bin to goodwill. The person who is getting the car took me. Actually his daughter is getting the car. I told him today that if the cost is XXX I'll pay it. He's really happy about that. I've known his daughter since she was a little girl and I am getting ready to get her set up!

I am going to run a few errands and then I have an etching of my mother's I need to hang up. Also I have a few things for my sister (who comes in about two weeks) so I want to make sure I have her things ready. Have a lot I'll bring to her in the spring but some smaller stuff her that she should take on the bus with her.

Good morning!

I can't believe how late I slept!

We had a really good time with our friends last night and I am feeling rested and human. (And also fat - there was much food)

CM, I am also proud of you for getting the lightbulb taken care of. I was struck by the fact that you were able to go to the store, get what you needed, set up the ladder, and take care of the thing. There was a time when there would have been too many obstacles in your way - objects, van, cash flow, time, even the challenge of finding the correct light bulb. You have come a long way!

In response to your "dreads"

1. When the stuff "fluffs."

I also hate this. You feel like you have made so much progress, and then you go to put the things back and sometimes not only do you not have leftover space, the remaining items don't even fit! It is discouraging.

2. When I'm going along pretty well and suddenly my energy bottoms out.

I think this happens to everyone, but some of us (me included) are more likely to be surprised by it and have it be really dramatic. I know Dh will realize he has had enough of a project and stop and clean it up. I will keep going until I literally just can't, and then I walk away from everything exactly as it is and it sits there overwhelming me for weeks.

3. When something gets knocked over creating a bigger mess than before.

Makes me want to just scream, or cry. Especially if something gets destroyed that I had been meaning to get to. I want to beat myself up for not taking care of it in time.

4. When I'm just not sure what to do with something that I do want to keep, whether short term or long term, but it does not have a "home" and I can't figure out how to find or create one in the available space.

This is also really frustrating. Every time I see anything by Dana k. White about the "container concept" it makes me angry. "If it doesn't fit, you can't have it." well, that is lovely if you have reasonable options, but when you are limited in space or negotiating with other people, it can be a bit like telling someone they can't have their medical treatment because it's "elective" and they can't afford it - yes, I can live without this, but it is going to have an effect on my quality of life.

I watched a video by another organizer who says there are only three kinds of items in any space - trash, things with a home, and things without a home. She was talking about cleaning up when you have limited time and energy and said that most things were going to be the first two, so just focus there. So it turns out that I am an excellent housekeeper, because aside from my counter of doom, almost none of my mess is the first two!

So, I have energy, it is sunny, there is nothing specific on my calendar today, and it will be warm later - off to conquer the world!

Just got home and it's late and I'll come back tomorrow, but i wanted to say that I didn't think you put your foot in your mouth and I felt you were very kindly understanding of my situation and did not make me feel like I was being inconsiderate of yours by agonizing over my totally optional big splurge (privilege might have been a bad word choice - it has been overused). - so thank you for that support.

And I knew that was someone else.

Also I am glad we can "talk" about a lot of things here and I do better in type because I miss tone of voice and expression frequently in real life and also sometimes project them inaccurately and both of those can cause a lot more misunderstandings than unfortunate word choice in typing. People usually give you more slack to explain yourself in writing.

Yay bunny cages!

Back tomorrow

SubC, I probably stuck my foot in my mouth without intending to. I hope you didn't think I meant you re the dollar amount I mentioned; it was someone else I was thinking about and the someone is actually a very good friend and probably didn't realize how certain remarks sounded. Plus this person is very generous and has helped me out some, and sends help to overseas family probably more than I know. Finally, I was generalizing and didn't think of high cost of living places, just Kansas. This stuff is hard to talk about. So I probably should refrain from doing so. My apologies if I offended in any way. I think sometimes it's awkward trying to talk about some things when we all can't talk in person and we don't have tone of voice or interactive conversation to facilitate expression of ideas.

Came here actually to report that I got the bunny cages cleaned and because I did it sooner it was less hassle. :)

And earlier I got the outdoor lightbulb changed. I'd gone to the hardware store to get a bug bulb and on the way back I stopped by my storage unit. Got a few more thoughts about what I'm going to do there, and soon I shall be starting on that project.

Re decluttering, I realize there are things I dread so much, such as:

1. When the stuff "fluffs."

2. When I'm going along pretty well and suddenly my energy bottoms out.

3. When something gets knocked over creating a bigger mess than before.

4. When I'm just not sure what to do with something that I do want to keep, whether short term or long term, but it does not have a "home" and I can't figure out how to find or create one in the available space.

What are everyone's Dreads? I remember awhile back I posted a little motto "BANISH DREAD" and Tatoulia thought it said "DANISH BREAD" lol.

CM, I think $40,000 can be "poor" and $40,000 can be "rich". It depends on your needs and your cost of living - for example, if you have significant uninsured medical needs, or live in parts of CA, you can end up homeless and hungry on $40,000.

And it can be easy to say move to somewhere cheaper, but you might be telling that person to leave everyone they love. And in theory there are government safety nets, but i'm sure you know how tangled and full of holes they can be.

I have been broke (Being broke is a temporary situation. Being poor is a state of mind. - variously attributed) and I have been "rich" (able to meet all my needs and have enough wants to make me feel spoiled) (I have been "rich" making less than minimum wage with two babies and a husband with no job) Barring disaster, I am always going to be "comfortable" because Dh job takes care of my needs. My wants are another thing. But also I am realistic about what is a want. I think that is where the people you are talking about come in. They don't realize how many wants they get.

I remember when Dd was in brownies, my coleader told me "I wish *I* could stay home with my (only) kid." There was a time in my life when I would have jumped in and started explaining to her how she could do that, but by then I was old enough and jaded enough to realize that she didn't really mean that. What she meant was "I wish I could get my hair done every six weeks and my nails done every month and go out to high end restaurants frequently with my husband and live in our four bedroom two car garage high end subdivision house with the pool and still belong to the health club, and buy expensive new clothes and shoes every season for me and my child, and own lots of expensive jewelry and accessories, and drive my leased luxury suv, and drink with my friends on weekends, and have my purebred dog groomed regularly, and my house cleaned by somebody else and my yard work done by somebody else like I do now, And ALSO not have to have a job."

Those are all wants.

You don't get to have all of your wants. It isn't good for you anyway. Even Elon Musk doesn't get all of his wants, but I think he gets more than is good for him.

I love that Tatoulia has a good job and that she can afford house cleaning and that it makes her happy. And she appreciates it. I'm happy that Lila got a new phone. I was excited about your computer. We all make choices. We all have different resources to make them with, but they are still choices. People without choices don't have time to post on here.

I am currently trying to decide if I can add another $150 in expenses to my spring because I found a buck I want (he checks all the boxes I have been looking for for two years and that is a good price, so of course I find him literally the day after I order the fence) I also want a guard goose because of the Fox eating my ducks, but that is going to have to wait. I may lose all the ducks, but the goose has to grow up before it is useful and I could lose the ducks during that time anyway. I will try to keep them safe.

Anyway, I built a fire and then I went down a rabbit hole looking at my spending choices and income sources (I'm really glad I got that June camp job now) and made a lot of bad eating choices because I was feeling stressed. And after writing all this out, I'm realizing how ridiculous it is for me to be stressed over these things. I didn't get anything done or much decided (no more new plants or seeds this year, no more new pottery tools for a while, and I'm skipping the school talent show tomorrow night)

But I'm going to take a shower and go out with our friends and start again tomorrow.

Hi, SubC

So you pulled the trigger on the fence project - good deal. I wish I had had your money and credit sense when I was much younger...alas. But I think you'll be glad to have it all done at once, because time is money too, and there'll be less disruption. And as far as I'm concerned, you needn't apologize for "privilege" - I think that has become too much of a thing these days, and what has been lost sight of is that if a person is not arrogant and boasting and contemptuous of poor people, one should not feel obliged to apologize just for the sake of it. I know you're humble, that's all that's needed. Take it from a poor person - I have encountered people who were clueless when speaking to me of being "poor" when they make $40-50k a year and upwards, but I don't perceive you that way at all. For what it's worth, my two cents. Lol. Anyway, hope all goes smoothly on the project.

I'm in the mood to putter today. That is good. Roommate and I went swimming yesterday and I would say I'm about midway back from the out-of-shape state post Covid. I swam some leisurely laps instead of merely doing paddling around and stretches like the other day. And I think it has done me good in terms of mood and brain being more on the ball. So I'm going to go over to the hardware store and get an outdoor light for above the side door (I'm the official ladder climber here because roommate has more trouble with vertigo from her allergies). I'm going to see if I can fix that fan that I took apart awhile back, and perhaps other stalled out projects as well. More later.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, did you do your goodwill bag?

Lila, I hope you aren't working too hard. And don't put stuff on the table ;)

I did order my fence yesterday. I decided to go all in. I now have a frighteningly high (for me) cc balance. I have the money set aside though, I just have to transfer it. That is the first half, which is what I planned on. The second half will be due in about 5 weeks when the fence ships. I need to keep my cc clean because I have a really low limit (on purpose - I got this card in my name only when I was first working part time. After a year they raised my limit by $500. I contacted them and told them not to raise my limit again unless I asked.) and if I am carrying more than a couple of bags of goat feed, the second charge will be denied. So I need to pay attention and not use the card unless i need to and then pay it right off. (And in the fall I need to start working on my "replacing my car" fund again.)

It's supposed to be really cold today and start snowing in a couple of hours. Dh and I have plans with friends tonight, but the day is pretty open.

Probably start a fire, catch up on school stuff again (I'm getting more organized) and do more clay work.

I am now very motivated to have a good spring sale!

Lila, I think maybe on the question of idolatry vis a vis material possessions and clutter, I've had similar thoughts and maybe here's a helpful way to look at it. God doesn't want us to worship things that aren't Him, be it false gods or the created goods of the world over the Creator. But what we have sometimes fallen into the trap of something that's not like we're building an altar to our clutter and bowing down to it and sacrificing animals to it - obviously nothing that blatant and absurd - but more subtle, and it can be healed easily enough, that's the good news.

Our attention - yes, perhaps we have placed our attention in the wrong direction at times, and that has shifted our focus away from what is truly valuable. But we must remember - it's because God has all that LOVE He wants to give us, so He is trying to get our attention so He can. That's not to say respect for God's majesty and omnipotence is unimportant. But He made the decision to create, and to create us for love and relationship with Him and others. So He just wants us to be fully present, not scattered and distracted, so we can wholeheartedly give and receive love.

What do you think? I'm not a theologian, these are merely my extemporaneous thoughts.

Still trying to get my bearings after the disruption of this month. Had another stupid episode with the Zoom doctor appointment, the rescheduled one on Wednesday. Camera on laptop not found error message, it was 30 minutes till the appointment, and I was frantic. Ended up using roommate's laptop. Then this morning was going to see what software glitch could have happened. Googled it, and right away saw a thing about the little camera switch on the side. A lightbulb went on in my head. Sure enough. The button must've gotten slid over when I was transporting the computer to the tech guy about that other problem.

I've just been stressed about that, and slow and fragmented about a lot of other stuff. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. I will need to do laundry again soon. I'm having trouble settling in to read my Bible study lessons and that drives me nuts because I am interested. I did get the typing and graphics done for the bunny group, a few days later than I intended but it's done.

Next week I hope to make a more focused effort on the clutter, and I can do a few small things to get rolling - it's just been hard trying to figure out the times to do things with a chopped up schedule and inconsistent energy levels.

Hi everyone! I'm already late for work!

Jumping in shower then off to the office! I need to gather a goodwill bag tonight. I need to keep moving forward.

Good morning!

Good day yesterday. I got my seeds planted, did some work in my pottery studio, and during a break in the rain, laid out the markings for the proposed grape arbor so Dh can see it and we can discuss the location.

I also had a conversation with the fence manufacturer for my dream portable fencing. I am going to order in the next week and I am struggling with the size of the order between buy less and save money now and buy more and have everything I want and save money long term but be tight for a while. I realize that this is a very privileged deposition to even have the choice.

It might help me with the not buying food with empty calories and stuff I don't need if I just order my fence...
School today. Need to get moving!

Lila, ten days in a row is a lot! Especially when you have to travel and be "on" the whole time.

Just try to keep your head above water.

I'm glad you found your tea.my tea tonight (replacing the evening snack habit) is green tea with ginger.

I think whatever helps you make progress - physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually is an ok way to look at things. Matthew 6:21 kind of goes with what you are saying I think. - putting value on things.

Tatoulia, good luck with the dresses! I love vintage clothes.I have a couple of my grandmother's dresses from the 40s that I still wear! And I tend to shop vintage style when I can. I wish I had the body to wear a flapper dress - i would buy one.

I did Mr. Kitty's box yesterday and dropped my recycling today. Mr. Kitty has been using the inside box a lot more lately. I think he's feeling his age.

The counter is still slow going, but it is moving in the right direction. There was a lift the flap book on it that dd1 loved and Bean finished off that was resting in the counter pile on the theory that I would repair it.

The illustrator is still working. It was 4.99 total (free shipping) to have the book arrive on my front porch. I told myself "buy art from living artists" and ordered a new copy which arrived today. The old one has been recycled.

hello friends, as usual, running around busy. But I took 4 hours of a break mid-day, played with my dog, rested, watched tv, read, and just came and caught up on posts. I am working a ten day stretch without any days off, including 3 days away leading a retreat. I love my work and enjoying it. I'll be really ready for some days off after all this, and things settle down. This is the week I work the most out of the whole year.

I did find my lost tea and will update on the Lost and found thread. I am not losing any weight, am not decluttering much, but am working on my lent stuff and feeling convicted of some of my behaviors that I want to change. Been looking at idols, and isn't hoarding a form of idolatry maybe? Stuff that hinders. No offense meant to anyone. I know hoarding is also and emotional and mental issue not always within our control. But I am trying to think about it in a way that helps me change.

I will be gone all weekend so see ya when I get back, probably.

That was a full day, SubC!

I got my trash and recycling out last night. Changed the cat boxes. I went to the car and it's in good shape. I have a bunch of my mother's dresses from the 50s and 60s and I'm going to try to wash them and see if I can sell them. They are so lovely. We shall see what happens.

Today is a work day and I'm still sitting here in my pjs. I have a meeting at one so will need to shower and look alive.

Good evening.

Tatoulia, Bean had a pajama morning too today.

Good job on the animal donations.

I am tired from a full (and fun) day with Bean.

We washed some of the windows, and built and played with an extensive village (which we cleaned up and I put away in the basement) and we went for a walk by the creek and played board games, and tried out a new book on record - the record will have to be recycled, but the book is not one I have a different copy of, and listened to his favorite one again. Gave scraps to the chickens, took out the compost, had a chat with the buck..

The counter of doom is basically the same - I dealt with all the new things and a few tiny bits and pieces that needed to be redistributed in the house - twist ties, pipe cleaners, bottle caps, that sort of thing.

Ok, I don't know if this will be a cross post, because it was interrupted by an hour FaceTime with birdy, but I'm just going to post it and head off to bed.

I love hearing about your plantings, SubC! So much fun to think of spring. Cm I'm glad your friend is ok. Lila, how awful to lose two friends. We are here for you.
I slept til noon then hung out in my pjs most of the day. Enjoyed a long call with BF while I had my cup of coffee. Late in the afternoon I walked down to the cat shelter with some towels and a very fluffy fleece bathrobe.

I ordered new down pillows when I was sick and Emiko took my old ones. I told her to wash the pillow protectors before using. She lives my old bedding and pjs because I spend a small fortune on them. It's how I grew up so I can't shake it now.

So I got the bag of animal donations out. Now to get to the car tmr and make some progress.

Good evening!

I reclaimed two more inches of the counter of doom and ran another load of laundry and had a good day with Bean.

I also planted onions, scallions, and shallots, but I ran out of seed starting mix before I got to the leeks. I will buy some more tomorrow when I return Bean. I have a coupon for the hardware store next to the library.

And I shelled a box of dried beans that had just been sitting around since I picked and dried them in fall. So now they are ready to cook. I might pull some out to plant this year.

Hi CM and Tatoulia! Thanks for coming by and checking in.

Tatoulia, I'm glad you got your hair cut.

CM, I'm glad your friend and your computer are both ok.

I got some stuff prepped for my classes today and finished off the last (for now) of my work emails.

I cleared a few more things off the counter of doom and recycled some paper and did some general organization.

And I also started a flat of pepper seeds.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to do onions, leeks, and shallots.

Also Dd is bringing Bean over to play in the snow and spend the night. Dsil has plans all afternoon and Dd is exhausted and nauseous. Which makes me very happy, because it's a good sign that the pregnancy is going to stick this time. She is almost a week further than she was with the other two, and with those she never felt this bad and started to feel better a few days before she miscarried. With Bean she felt awful the first three or four months.

Quick drive by. All is well here. I'm not caught up on posts. My friend Emiko was here today and she brought some fun stuff from her recent trip to Japan. We didn't do anything house-wise because I was helping her with her work stuff. I also got a hair cut today. I needed one before my mother died so can you imagine how long it had gotten in the past 2-1/2 months?

I am feeling well it find myself falling asleep very early. I'm going to go to bed now. I need to clean out my car this weekend. Yes I still have it but I'm not driving it. The exhaust is sounding a bit weird. I want to hurry up and get the exhaust fixed and give it to my neighbor. They will never be able to fix the exhaust so I will do so as a positive thing to get them on their feet.

I'm going to bed now. Very tired.

All I can do right now is bop in to say Hi, glanced at posts but not thoroughly. Lila, I'm sorry about your friends. I knew great relief this week when I was finally able to reach the friend I'd helped hand out Halloween candy last fall, then she didn't decorate for Christmas which isn't like her, and going by her house it was dark and deserted looking for 2-3 months and I knew she has health issues so my mind was going to worst case scenario. It is hard the older we get and losing people becomes more of a possibility.

SubC, I'm thankful your building didn't blow up with the gas leak. How scary!

Thursday was a bit crazy and I haven't finished regrouping really. I was supposed to have a Zoom doctor appointment that morning, but it just so happened that Wednesday evening my laptop downloaded Windows updates. Fine, I thought, and on Thursday morning it wanted to restart to finish them. But then it got stuck. I had to call and reschedule the appointment, then bundle up the laptop and take it down to Mr Tech Whiz at the library. Luckily he talked some sense into it in about ten minutes. I had an enjoyable chat with him and another tech guy, plus while I was thinking of it I got some of the file directory and user profile duplication cleaned up (which had been messy since the original Blue Screen of Death months ago).

Yesterday roommate and I went swimming. It was a cold day, not pleasant to get out in but the pool was warm. Today we went to breakfast with another friend as we do most Saturdays. Then my former roommate needed me to take her to the store and we had a fun time but it was a day of much conversation and I felt a little tired and needing to decompress.

The bunny rescue needs me to do some computer things none of which are hard but the disruption in my schedule plus the tiredness has made it seem harder to get going on. I'm several days behind on my Bible study already too, and there is the quarterly bunny event tomorrow.

I just want to be able to catch up but not in a harried, pressured way, y'know?

Next week will have the rescheduled doctor appointment, a covid shot hopefully, and just trying to stay abreast of the usual things. The weather will be nicer. Once again I'm just trying to find a rhythm and flow with the Lent/spring season activities gearing up earlier this year and me having been thrown off by illnesses and such. Hoping that by the end of next week or the week after I'll feel more in the groove.