I'm tired just reading your to-do list, SubC!

Yes get that fence date changed!

We can just say Badger. I know all too well what she looks like. She looks like a suitcase and two bins in my closet. (Insert sheepish grin here)

Have a great day, everyone. I have my performance eval today. Got the written one yesterday and pretty good!

The badger didn't work.

I forgot the teacher social activity I'm also running in April.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, let's see if badger works :

?

I think we stopped sending him around because the emojis weren't working, but if he's up there, he's yours. If there is just something odd in that space, well, I guess we'll have to make do - like the little prince, and you can keep him a while anyway.

I hope you open the suitcase and think "oh, I don't need any of this". Sometimes people upcycle those old hard side suitcases for decor. Maybe it will find new life.

Insurance! - duh. I was trying to figure out why a free car would be expensive.

I got the last of my spring seeds started yesterday. I should have done it two weeks ago, but I was afraid they would come up and get leggy while I was gone, and then I just had trouble getting to it for a few days when I got back. It will be ok. It's mostly basil. I am realizing I need to sort out the seed starting stuff and plant pots. Too many of the things I have kept belong to our friend Justin.

Dh has a business trip the week after Easter. I have just realized that that week is the earliest my fence may arrive. I need to contact them because I can't unload it if he isn't here to operate the forklift and this will be the one time something gets done quickly, right?

April is feeling so full and overwhelming right now.
Dh gone, his parents visiting, fence delivery, prepping for my spring sale, baby goats due, the possibility of my parents visiting (I am excited about this! Birdy May bring his parents that weekend too!), starting the outdoor planting in earnest, prep for the school art show (May 1), my class project to do, the spring sale itself, and whew! April will be over in a blink. Then it will be May and time to wind the school year down.

The next week is almost the calm before the storm to get things prepped.

Anyway, I feel like I did well yesterday. I am skipping my yoga this morning and not planning anything but school and dropping off the recycling today. Trying to keep it light. I have put out all the spring rabbits all over the living/dining/kitchen area and will get out the rest of the Easter decorations and prep Bean's basket over the next week. I just need to buy his chocolate rabbit and some kind of candy to fill eggs. Just one small bag.

Great work of writing a list and making a plan, SubC! I keep making a list and not really getting anywhere with it.

These weeks are passing so quickly, it is amazing to me. I got an invitation for Easter brunch so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

I need help getting through my stuff. I have written a list, giving myself three options, and I haven't even started one of them. I wrote the list a few weeks ago. And now I can only remember two. One is to look through the two bins in my closet. Find out what's there and figure out if I can get rid of anything. My friend packed them so I have no idea. The other is to get rid of my mother's suitcase if possible. No idea what's in it. She bought this luggage probably forty to fifty years ago and no one uses luggage like this anymore. Very heavy. Definitely durable but really heavy. I've donated all but two pieces of her set. And oddly enough, at the subway the other day I saw a piece of this luggage in my mother's color and everything (a very odd color) and I thought, i bet that's one if the pieces I donated recently. Then I thought, maybe it's a sign from mom. Of course in real life my mother would be heartbroken if I got rid of anything so maybe it was just her saying hi. So the goal is to figure out what I have and to get rid of it. I need to make space.

Running into a hitch with giving the neighbor the car. As a first year driver, the cost of insurance is 3,000. Not kidding. I even checked with my agent. I don't want this girl to make a bad decision . I told her father that there will be no hard feelings but I need to know this weekend. I offered 500-600 toward the insurance but honestly this sounds like a terrible idea.

So that's where we stand. I can always sell it, although I have two other people to ask first to see if they want a car.

Please help me to get something done this weekend. Let's get the badger over to my house! Lila, the badger is something we used to joke about and I'm not sure who invented it, CM maybe? We'd talk about needing someone to badger us to get rid of stuff and so we'd ask to have the badger come by. Not sure if you were with us during the badger times

I'll need some tough love if anyone has any to spare.

So, it is mid/late afternoon.

I am eating a not super healthy snack chocolate candy mixed with raw walnuts) but I think I am doing pretty well today. I have tried to pace myself more.

When Dh left this morning, I thought "ok, he will be home in 13 hours." I made a list of 24 things I need to work on or finish, and I pledged to myself to work on at least one of them during each of those hours. So, I have done that. And I have finished 8 of them.

Of course I have been putting off "check kids work" and "plan for Friday classes" love teaching. Dislike prep and evaluation.

Counter of doom is better. Freezer is better. Stuff count is worse - update there next.

Good morning.

I will be home all day today again. Hopefully I can manage the afternoon. And also check all this student work that for some reason I am resistant to checking.

It is in the 20's this morning and won't break freezing until nearly lunch, so I intend to get the fire going. Not an outside day.

Lila, I hope you feel better soon. Stress is very hard on your immune system.

I have ordered some more toy animals for Bean and Birdy that were on sale. I had points that were about to expire. They are supposed to come today. I need to get Bean's Easter basket in order. I'm not doing one for Birdy this year as he is not old enough to notice. Bean remembers that last year there was a chocolate rabbit. A chocolate rabbit is a good tradition. It does not accumulate.

There were some little buck goats not too far from me that I liked. I was hoping to pick one up in the next two or three weeks. The seller told me he would let me know if one sold (I was having trouble choosing), but yesterday the listing was gone and when I enquired he told me he sold them all. I'm trying to just believe that it was for the best and things will work out as they should, Useless did cover at least three of my girls this year, so I can keep using him if I need to. I have to remind myself that much as I love baby goats, the point is milk. And my barn is really not ready for more animals.

lol, SubC, yeah, 15 minutes a day to deep clean?? That must be for people who have to stuff to move around first, or organize, or get rid of!

Well I got two days of work in and now I have a cold. Bad enough to keep me at home, so I am working from home today. I did a walmart order so I can have enough tissues and some OJ and soup. I should be cooking but I am so tired. Will get this work done though, and will enjoy Fri and Sat off. This is a very busy time of year at work because of Easter coming up, but there is nothing I can do about being sick again and missing things. I do hope I can get my system in order somehow so I don't keep catching every germ. I did get some probiotics. I have Hashimotos autoimmune thyroid disease which means I can't just go taking immune system boosters. I need to figure all that out.

Did not start a project.

Fell right back into the snacks and videos afternoon spiral. I am making the connection with the emptiness Lila, I think I feel lonely in the afternoons. I turn the videos on for voices and then I snack because I think it will "recharge" me. It doesn't.

I did finish drying all the laundry and putting away all but two loads. Also did chores and showered.

I am so thrown off, I even forgot it was the equinox today.

Midday update.

Did yoga and my chores, watered my plants, did a quick check on the garden beds, went to vote, unpacked and put away my suitcase, have washed - but not dried and put away- all the laundry from the trip, found one pair of jeans to pass on, ran the dishwasher (including dishes rinsed but not run before vacation), picked up the mail, and discovered that a mouse made a nest in the basement rafters while Mr. Kitty was locked outside for the week.

Now I am having a healthy lunch of things that needed to be used up and can start on a project.

Here is some humor for your day - YouTube thought I might want to watch a video where a woman promises that she will show me how to deep lean and organize my entire house this year in just 15 minutes a day.

Good morning!

Mr. Kitty missed us. He stayed inside all night. He doesn't meow, but this morning he followed me around making his little chirpy noise until I settled on the couch and started petting him. Usually if he has been in all night he wants to go out first thing.

I am tired, but I forced myself to get up half an hour after my usual time this morning so that I can go to bed tonight and tomorrow won't be so hard.

Today I only need to leave the house to vote. (Primaries - which decide most of my local races because democrats don't run, and a tax issue). I'll update later on what I get done.

CM, I hope you enjoy your warm day today. Maybe you can find one more thing to take with you when you make roommates drop run. Hopefully her decluttering will make more room to shift things around and help with your decluttering. Especially since I believe she still has belongings in your room?

Lila, sometimes change makes me feel sad. Even when it is good change. You are letting go of a lot in your life. Some of the change is better, but some involves letting go of things that were not bad things.

I'm sorry your home is stressful, but I'm glad you have more adults who clean up, even if the messes are bigger now. I think continuing to focus on your room as a sanctuary is a good thing.

hi all, thank you for your kind comments. CM, I read a book by St Augustine during covid. Maybe some of it is in my brain somewhere, coming out in this meditation.

I am so exhausted. Worked today and came home. My living room, kitchen, dining room, hall, entry are covered in toys, clothes, shoes, food, trash, and playdoh (like, in the carpet). It stressed me out, so after I picked up a few things I just came and shut myself in my room so I could work a little more. I think dil will clean it up, she is pretty good about it at the end of the day. But looking at playdoh in carpet, on tables, on floor stressed me out. It is not worth being stressed over, so I am avoiding it.

Part of me is terribly sad about something, but I am not quite sure what.

Everybody's got a lot going on and I won't do it justice because I have a limited time right now, but I did read the posts.

Lila, try and get some probiotics if you can, to rebuild your gut microbiome. That should speed recovery.

We had our bunny fundraiser Saturday. Didn't get as many people as we'd hoped, though since the venue was small, perhaps that was all right. We made enough to make it worth it, probably, and got a large donation from an individual that was more than the take from the event.

I wasn't completely exhausted, but did opt to take a St. Paddy's Day nap yesterday. Today I've been uploading photos of the fundraiser to our Facebook.

Lila, the meditation you posted reminds me of St. Augustine's saying that our hearts are restless until they rest in God. Sometimes I'm not sure what for me is spiritual emptiness vs. ADHD dopamine depletion, but I know it does help to put the prayer time in, that seems to calm everything and bring hope.

Roommate has been decluttering quite a bit and I want to let it inspire me - she is more efficient and decisive, which is good to watch and hopefully imitate. She is eager to get her items gone quickly. That is smart of her! So I may help her with that part, by making the dropoff run.

It was cooler in the afternoon yesterday, dipped down into the 20s last night and is going to get up to 70s tomorrow. Kansas in March!

Good morning. I am a bit sad because we are leaving Birdy today, but I am also ready to get back to my life. Also I am allergic to the two dogs and it will be nice to wake up without my head completely stuffed.

We went to see my son play rec league hockey last night - which was fun, but disorienting. He was a tiny kid and a late bloomer, so I struggled to find him at first - my brain did not want him to be one of the tall players. He's pretty good.

Tatoulia, I hope you get things straightened out with the car easily and that your little house works out. Can you make it a screensaver or put a picture on a cardboard sleeve for your cc - whatever you will see before you I something? Do you think bf will sell his place there?

Lila, keep resting and being kind to your body. Take it slow.

The emptiness thing is definitely a factor in the stuff. I know I keep a lot of things because they evoke memories of times or people who are gone. I kept a lot of my sons clothes from when he was a baby and they felt very precious. Yesterday I was holding my grandson while his mommy packed up the newborn and 0 to 3 month clothes for me to take back for the "baby library" (I brought two new bins of toys and clothes) and there were a couple where she said "he never wore this" and I looked at it and thought "get rid of it." - the fasteners and fabrics are so much nicer now... the clothes have become about dressing real babies now, not aching over babies who are grown and living good lives.

It is a constant struggle for me to fill my life with people and experiences instead of stuff.

Ok, gotta pack up.

Lila I enjoyed yoir post very much. Will give me something to think about.

Go slowly with eating! And vegetables are not your friend after stomach issues. Go slowly. So awful what you have been through.

I did very little today. Boston is very much a St Patrick's Day town and even though I'm not on the parade route (I'd guess a mile or two away) there are a lot of people on the streets. I went to grocery store to get a few things. Having two cats truly means twice the amount of cat food. They go through so much! And they really are great cats even if I am a little creeped out about having two.

I did precious little today but did have a few long telephone calls with BF about some issues with his land overseas. He also has an issue with his place here but I didn't want to tell him so I'll do that this week. All is fine, it's just his real estate taxes are through the roof now that it is no longer owner/occupied.

I did clean out the cat boxes and did some laundry. But mainly just frittered my day away.

The little house I am looking to buy is in the Mediterranean. I would have never considered living someplace warm. It is very small, for one or two people at most. It's a confluence of events that brings me to the house. I would probably not live there but instead go three times a year. Bf right now is an hour away so it would work out for us.

My mother's dearest friends (and were mentioned in her obituary) ended up being people that I was very, very close with when I was in my 20s. They were probably a good 15 years older than my mother and they had a daughter who is probably fifteen years older than me. I only got to know the daughter once her mother died, as the daughter lives overseas. We are now very close and I am her only family. We got to talking about two of her houses and I asked if she'd ever consider selling the guest house separately from the main house. And so here we are. The nice thing is we can transfer the funds from my US account to her US account and not lose $$ in transfer fees and doing it piecemeal. So that's how we got here.

I just need to have something to look forward to. I don't mind if we sell it in a few years when we retire. It may be just a dream but I'm going to work hard to make it happen.

Hoarding lenten insight below - tell me what you think, please!

hi Tatoulia! I didn't think your post was babbles at all. In fact I enjoyed it quite a bit! Felt kind of like a conversation, interesting. You are buying a place overseas? I am not caught up on posts and don't remember this. Are you moving to be with bf?

I am still a bit on the weak and dizzy side so worked from home this morning. An hour and a half was enough for this brain. I am having a piece of cinnamon toast with coffee. Thinking about making a recipe with some of the veggies in the fridge. I think I could eat normal food now.

I mentioned a Lenten insight on hoarding that I wanted to share. It is maybe not a huge epiphany, but it is helping me. For Lent this year I purchased a book called Restore: A guided lent journal for prayer and meditation. I got it from the Catholic bookstore (I am not Catholic, but we are all one body, right?) Each day since Ash Weds it has a little short devotional and a question. One of the things this meditation brought out is that I have a resistance to emptiness. In the devo called "the ache of emptiness", it says about fasting: "What happens within you as you experience the ache of the things you have surrendered for the season?... we might notice that when we feel the ache and emptiness that the object of our fasting filled, we may immediately give in to it. We promise ourselves that we can make up for it later and instead indulge now in the thing we chose to give up."

Of course this is applied to fasting from foods, specific or altogether, but also can be applied to anything we wish we could give up or try to 'fast' from for a season, like no-spend November or buying things or a bad habit. What lit a light bulb in me was, those things... eating, hoarding, smoking, drinking, spending, anything... is filling an ache and emptiness. And when we take that away, we are left with the core ache and emptiness.

This is what is being explored next in the devotional. WHAT is the core ache? What are you trying to satisfy? Do you remember a time, even as far back as childhood, where you felt that specific ache and emptiness - the feelings associated with it? When I pondered this, a very specific and painful memory from when I was maybe 3 or 4 years old popped up and I just wept.

I think, at least for me, I have this fearful resistance to emptiness. Empty shelves, empty space around my bed, empty panty, empty stomach.

Trying to fill that emptiness has led to hoarding and obesity. I find this very profound. The devo will continue on in exploring the memories, feelings, the emptiness and ache and how to heal this, or rather, let Jesus heal it.

I hope this is helpful to someone here! I'd be very interested in any thoughts on this topic, even if you disagree. Please share.

I got the car's exhaust fixed today. There was a long wait but then the actual work took about 15 minutes. Went very well.

The young woman taking the car is still having money issues but i emphasized with her dad that we need to transfer the car by the end of the month. I'll help them financially if it comes to that. I paid for the repairs today and the father was grateful. It was good to have the car running and I did run a quick errand but I just don't want to keep it. Time to move it along.

So that's what's up. I may gather a bag and go to goodwill donations tmr with the car.

I received an Easter brunch invitation so I'm feeling pretty good about that! Was hoping for one of two people to invite me.

I'm working on the house and feeling very good about it. Found a good home for my mother's mink coat. It's reversible and good quality. I have issues with fur and fur/wearing and was so glad to find someone who was so grateful to receive it as a gift. That was nice.

I'm spending more money than I should on stuff I don't need or want. I need to pull it together. It's all wasted, esp when I'm trying to buy a place overseas and there's a chance BF will not be going halvsies with me on it. I have all the info on the place and I know the seller very well so I just want to pull the trigger despite not having the $$ just yet.

I am babbling. I don't know what my problem is. I'm so sorry. Forgive me. My mind is jumbled. I'll get a donation bag together tomorrow and I'll feel better.

aww I am glad you are with Birdy and enjoying this special time!

I am still a bit loopy. Able to eat, and did some cursory cleaning (which was swallowed up by the grandkids within 2 hours) but unable to do much else. Extremely tired.

Oh poor Lila! I am so sorry! Years ago I dreamt of a service where I would go to people's homes and air out their bedrooms and change the linens when they were sick. I so wish I could do that for you!

Oh dear Lila! I am so sorry you have been so sick! Rest and recover. Give yourself plenty of time please.

I am having a lovely time with Birdy's family. Ddil has been very generous with sharing him and ds is home now and I am enjoying him as well.

Bean called on the computer today and told me about going by my house to water my seedlings and that they had found the treat I hid in the fridge for them (and told dsil about) He also demonstrated how to eat a banana (when you have teeth) for his cousin and showed off the kangaroo family he made in nature class.

I am doing some mental planning and general rethinking of daily life while I am here. Also gaining weight I'm pretty sure. Ddil must stop making lovely cakes.

Hello! Instead of your usual busy Lila who was not around due to work, it was something new. What was Lila doing since Monday, you ask? Lila was vomiting! Yes. Worst stomach bug ever. I did not cease vomiting for approximately 20 hours. Like every 10-20 minutes day and night. Then I was trying to recover but still feeling quite sick and unable to eat. But today I am eating bland foods, and starting to feel like a human again.

I did not read your posts yet - that's next.

Yesterday I was finally able to shower (with a shower chair) and in the evening, washed my sheets. It was all I could do to get them back on the bed, but I needed to not be so gross and disgusting.

Today I managed to unload 1/3 of the dishwasher but could not finish.

I am enjoying sitting outside in the sunshine for little stretches of time with my dogs.

I have a little Lenten reflection on hoarding that I want to share, but am worn out, so will do so in a bit.

Hi everyone! I'm here!

Working on stuff. Getting car cleaned out. Had a dental implant put in today and have been sleeping since. I want to do some cleaning up here (it's 11 PM) and then head back to bed.

Taking car to the exhaust guy on Saturday. I've decided to drive it instead of the shenanigans of waiting for someone to tow it. The AAA people can take forever. Hoping I can get it there without too much noise.

Will be a big relief. I have to be out of my garage on the last day of the month.

Bunny planter complete, including the flowers!

Trying not to fret about spring starting to feel too busy and fragmented already. Probably also still adapting to the time change and may feel more on top of things after that is done.

I got the bunny planter reprimed and painted white. It just needs the features - eyes, nose, and the inner ears painted pink. Then a top sealing coat of Mod Podge, then the floral arrangement needs to be made. It'll be in a container that can just pop in and out.

Late afternoon I heard from the ladies that the bunny club's general brochure, which I had worked on revisions of, wasn't printing properly at the printer - margins were off. I wrestled with the thing for over an hour. This is what it is to have some design and layout knowledge but not enough. My skills are piecemeal. I think maybe I got it okay in the end. I need to save the thing as another document to use as a template for any future brochures I make for bunny club or whatever else. You can't find a simple Word doc for a plain white brochure that you add your own stuff to as easily as I'd hoped - everything is all colorful and prefab.

SubC, I agree the mornings are too dark - this is something that if I had to go early to work I would hate also. And I never thought about living on the east or west of a time zone, as I live pretty smack dab in the middle of mine, I think. I struggle a lot with time, calendars, changing weather, day length, seasons, months that end in the middle of weeks vs. the beginnings - you name it, I'm confused or discombobulated by it! :P

Another thing is changing lighting contrasts - I had migraines in the last few days after not having any for awhile (which was SO nice) and right now my eyes are saying I have been on the computer dangerously long, so I will sign off for now.

Good afternoon.

Bean and I have had a good day.

We baked tea bread, played hide and seek and brio trains, went for a walk in the woods to take pictures for my pottery homework, planted eight irises around the grape arbor stakes, but rocks on the tarps that were blowing out of place, and moved three out of the four lost and rediscovered rhubarb plants. (The fourth one is encased in the riots of a tree that should not be there. I cut it last year and it came back from the stump, so Dh is going to pull it for me when the ground gets drier.)

Tonight I have class and tomorrow Dh and I leave to visit Birdy.

Good morning.

The computer monster just ate my nearly finished post.

CM, I'm glad that at least you enjoy daylight savings time.

For me it is the season of losing my mornings, struggling to get ready for work on time, and going back to morning chores in the dark just when it was finally light. Later I will struggle to go to bed at a reasonable hour because there is too much light in the evenings. It doesn't help that I live on the western edge of my time zone.

Last night I stayed too long talking to the farmsitter's mom after I milked the cow. I didn't get to bed until ten, and I was very tired so I slept until 6:30. Only to come downstairs and discover that it was already 7:30. Now I am tired, sore, and stressed about getting things done before the kids arrive with Bean.

Lila, I forgot to say congratulations on the new grandbaby! We will both have new ones in the fall! You are getting quite a set!

Good job on the fridge project!

I continue to hope that your teen can find a way back to a better relationship with you. I have a question about your post language - is that a change in how teen is is self-referring or a gender reveal? And should we use female pronouns now?

I did a little bit of pottery yesterday afternoon. Nothing impressive.

The morning is half gone, so I need to get moving.

I just went around and set the clocks forward! It seemed like a long time until this eagerly anticipated task, and yet it also flew by. And St Patrick's Day is a week from tomorrow, and Easter only three weeks from tomorrow - whoa.

We have a bunny event the 16th. Been starting preparations for that. I need to paint a large papier mache rabbit shaped planter for them and do a silk floral arrangement in the basket attached to the rabbit. And prepare for roommate and I to do a craft project with kids at the event.

Lila, I don't want to be a mother hen but if you have any concerns about Acorn getting carried away with the bookshelf it might be good to get some wall anchors for it just in case. And for the books themselves, perhaps some bins for the lower shelf books. Just some ideas. It's so good for a kid to grow up with books. I learned to read and write before kindergarten by my mom reading to me and she would take folded paper and staple it into mini books that I could write and draw in. Fun times! Sometimes I think I got more writing done then than I do now despite my stated intentions, lol. Life was simpler.

hi SubC, I will look around and think about it that way. See if I can shift kid friendly things with not kid friendly things.

I did get the fridge cleaned out, omg it was a mess. I took everything out of every compartment except the fruit drawer (ran out of steam), threw away a bag of things that had gone bad, washed out the shelves, and reorganized. I put several items in the other downstairs fridge and now, my fridge is clean, pretty full still, but you can actually find things. And I know what is in there to use.

I also am doing some laundry for Teen, despite how unkind she is to me, because I love her and want her to be taken care of. I did explain to her that the way she speaks to me and detests me is hurtful, and pointed out that I am still doing things for her because I love her. I asked her to consider that, and try to think of me in a more positive light.

I am emotionally tired, and don't want to do anything, feel like I need more days off.

My house is so bad!!! I need an intervention.

Good afternoon!

Good luck on the fridge. I have been doing better with my fridge - mostly through limited shopping, but I am not there yet. In a couple of months, the milk and eggs will begin to accumulate faster than we can use them. And not long after that the garden will start producing. I need a plan. Several plans. Plans for meals centered around what is coming in, plans for selling extra eggs, plans for preserving the excess in ways that will cause it to be used effectively in the winter and spring.

As for the shelves/book storage - is there anything in the house that the kids can have free access to that is currently hard for them to get? Could you put those things on the lower shelves and your books on upper shelves and wherever those things are?

Today I slept late because I had a low grade headache all day yesterday that I was pretty sure was from lack of sleep.

Ran a load of laundry - I'm keeping up!

Worked on cleaning out in the barn a little bit (my barn is really bad, and it is just going to take time.) let the ducks out for a while. Gave the does their immunizations plus mineral supplements for the three that are bred. Did a cursory grooming of the one rabbit who was starting to get mats from shedding - no more mats, but he still needs a good brushing. Moved the second grape vine and finished mulching the grape arbor. It's cold outside and I'm feeling wind blown.

I've got four hours before I need to go milk the cow for the last time. Trying to make them useful..

Good morning friends. We had sickness run through the house. I think everyone is better now. But dil is vomiting a lot. Grandbaby #6 is on the way this fall!

I am trying to organize and clean but failing pretty badly. When I am home I am recovering from having to be around people all week and working a lot, but, it is not quiet except for early morning now, so I am finding ways to meet my isolating needs. It's a big learning curve.

I am enjoying having all the kids around me though for the most part. But the house is a disaster area even worse than before. I cannot keep up with it. There is no way. So I am mostly just doing cursory picking-up as I go, and taking care of dishes in the mornings. I did laundry yesterday. I still kind of feel like I am in a strange place, or something.

Today I am going to clean out (not scrub, but you know...) the fridge and freezer because there is not even room for an apple in there, it is so packed with everyone's food. I can't find anything. TotsDad brought their fridge here last week and I am going to see if we can move some of this food downstairs to that fridge. It is just too much, and my food is hidden and going bad because I forget it is in there. So, that's my big project for today.

Another new thing is I have two bookshelves in the living room. I have purged 80% of my books, so what is left is special, truly loved books. And when I was not home little Acorn took my books off the shelf, hid some, bent some covers, ripped a page or two. I find this very stressful so in the moment I just piled all my books on the upper shelves that she can't reach, but it is stacked and looks chaotic. So the other thing I would like to do today is box them up. I don't especially want to put them in the garage, though. I dunno, maybe I can make space for them in my bedroom on a shelf or something, it is kind of stressing me out.

And so it goes. Encouragement welcome.

CM,

The cow is not mine. It belongs to my farm sitter. She is enjoying a kid free work-cation with her partner. Her mom is taking care of the kids and small animals, but can't milk the cow, so her little sister is doing it mornings and I am doing evenings. Two more times.

I am wishing you luck on the storage area.

My internet went out yesterday afternoon and stayed out until some time in the night. It did not make me more productive. I didn't get very much done after my last post. I did finish the laundry. I did not finish the counter. I decided to delay planting because I am worried about things sprouting while I am gone. I read a book. And I stayed up too late reading the book. And now I am really tired.

Today - school and cow. It's supposed to rain all day today and tomorrow. I am less unhappy about milking a wet cow than I am about driving out there in the dark and rain - there are no lights, just a few house windows.

Also, my own yard is mud. I am tired of mud.

Sending love to teen and Lila. Not caught up on posts.

The swim was great.

Did you just get a cow, SubC, or had you had her before? Sorry if I'm being forgetful!

It's a rainy day here though I'm at the library and when I left the house it appeared to be maybe trying to clear up. These last few days have been a bit of this, a bit of that weatherwise, and I think that's how March is liking to be thus far and will continue to be - until it perhaps steadies out. It's tornado preparedness week.

When I was at the storage unit... what was it that I am now trying to recall about that? I know that when I looked I realized there were several areas that really were not in as bad a shape as I had feared. And then there are the areas that have been more intimidating. I think I'm going to consolidate the good somehow and that will feel more manageable and then the doom places I will need to "divide and conquer."

I also realized that there is probably going to be stuff that I'm ready to let go of, and other stuff that I really did feel happy to acquire and perhaps will want to keep. It's a delicate decision making process, to be sure. Books and supplies that if I truly can be creative with or enjoy in whatever way they are meant to be enjoyed (like board games - if I can actually PLAY them with actual people, for instance, perhaps at the senior center, instead of them being in limbo because the friends I used to play them with have been dead a few years now - stuff like that).

I know I had/have so many, many interests. The "had" interests' books and gear vs. the "still have" interests. The former should in most cases go to someone who currently is doing those things. The latter should be kept in a way that better facilitates actual use.

So that is the vision and goal to start with.

Planted and mulched the grape vine. Sorted through the stored pumpkins in the garage and gave the ones that were starting to go to the chickens. Did a 4 month check on the goats for kidding season - three bred, two open, one questionable. Need to do vaccines on Saturday.

Chased away the fox and penned up the ducks. (No losses)

Switched over the laundry, put a load away, and put a new load in the wash. Clean sheets on the bed.

A couple more items off the counter of doom.

Pretty good morning, but I generally get most of what I'm going to get done in a day done before lunch. I've been up almost six and a half hours. It feels colder outside than I thought it would today - close to 50, but dark and damp.

I'm probably going to post a lot today. Working on staying motivated.

I have done yoga and chores, made Dh and myself breakfast (and eaten). The first load of laundry is in the dryer. The second load is in the wash. I took the compost out (and cleaned a container out of my fridge).

The dishwasher is unloaded and the dirty dishes are in it. I took care of a couple of thing# from the counter of doom.

Time to plant the grape vine.

Good morning!

CM, how was your swim,

I had a successful day at school yesterday - more work to check today. Stopped at the grocery store, got gas, and milked the cow.

That cow is a workout. I wake up with significant upper body soreness.

I have more work to do to prep for school today, a grapevine to plant, seedlings to start, and a lot of laundry. Plus must hit the counter of doom. Other things on my list as well, so I am going to try really hard not to spiral. It's supposed to be cloudy today. But warm.

Registration for next year is going well so far - no first day glitches and 7/11 of my classes are already full enough to run and two only need one more student each.

I'd like to be able to get started on my laundry, but Dh is still asleep, so yoga it is..

Lol, my bubble is I suppose 3-6 feet, and I felt like I trained all my life for pandemic social distancing. I can go 2 feet or even 1 provided that the other party is aware that they are in close proximity and are being careful not to brush against me. The thing is, I know what a klutz I am, how I make sudden movements on impulse or just out of clumsiness. At those moments, I can bump into somebody if there's not that margin for error. And that aggravates me and probably them too unless they are the oblivious, rough and tumble type. Some of it's neurodivergence, some of it's having grown up in a roomier house.

Went to storage unit earlier and had some thoughts but have no more time right now to get into that because we are getting ready to go swim. Hopefully later.

Good morning!

CM, other people can be hard. I struggle sometimes even when my kids are here visiting. And I love my kids. I don't know if you are familiar with the concept of a "personal bubble"? It describes how big an empty space you need around you to feel comfortable - like how far away you expect people to stand when you talk to them. Some of it is cultural - New Yorkers in general have much smaller bubbles than those from the rural south, but some of it is personal. My family says my youngest has a personal bubble slightly smaller than her skin - she is always touching people, and that mine is about the size of the county. An exaggeration, but I really prefer not to be able to see neighbors from my yard.

Today is the first day of registration for returning students - aka full inbox morning. The parents have had the schedule for two weeks, but they all waited until after I went to bed last night to email me with questions. If history is any indicator, the parents who really didn't need to ask and got replies like "of course!" And "that's fine." Will diligently check for my response this morning, and the parents who got a detailed explanation about why they can't do what they want will have already contacted my boss to tell her I haven't responded and ask HER to make an exception for them. She will get in this morning and forward all of those to me with "please reply".

I am a little sore from milking the cow last night.

I got a good start in the barn yesterday morning, but i spiraled down when it started raining. Right now I need to check the projects that I put off far too long and get ready for school. Cow again tonight and that is all I'm going to try to do today.

SubC, it's largely me being still not used to a small shared space. Roommate grew up in a small house with a large family and I was an only child in a medium sized house with a basement, and for many years lived on my own, therefore becoming quite set in my ways. Only when finances got really bad (and the circumstances of that are too heartbreaking to discuss) did I have to try to live with others. Even though they have been nice others, it feels like surrendering a lot of control over everything from personal space, to scheduling matters, to cooking aromas and other things that are sensory overload. And I haven't been very good at adapting, and we sometimes get irritated, and it is just plain hard. Not that we don't have fun times too, yet I can't help wishing for my own place. I know it's gotta be the right time and now is not it, so... just have to muddle through the best we can.

Yay! Lila is back!

I was thinking about you while you were gone, but not talking at you because I knew you were too busy to post.

I hear you on becoming overwhelmed and quitting on the room, but what you did sounds like a really good start. Positive steps forward and fully completed tasks.

Thank you for mentioning the tea. I have backslid on the evening snacking and need to refocus.

I think you can ask ddil to not put things on the table. You can say "I would really love to be able to all eat together, but I know it's really crowded in here. I've been trying to come up with a way to not have to use this table as storage. Can you help me? Do you see anything we could shift to make a better space to put stuff when it comes in?" Something like that.

I'm glad teen has another place to go where they are loved so you can have a break. I'm so sorry about the incident. I hope you get some rest.

CM, the scheduling around another person thing is hard. I get frustrated when Dh gets up early because I end up not doing yoga. I feel awkward doing yoga when he is up and moving around the space, like I am intruding on his day. But really, I should just do it. He wants me to be healthy and in good shape. I'm not saying you should necessarily just do what you want and ignore your roommate, that is a very specific me thing, but also, be sure that when you are accommodating her it is actually what she wants and not just what you think she wants - although it sounds like you two communicate well.

I started my pottery class last night. It was fun. I think it is going to be really good. Also I got some new clay to try. I like it a lot, which is kind of bad because it is more expensive than my usual clay. Also, I have not made a dent in the scrap clay in my studio. We'll see how the finished pieces look. I have homework.

We are leaving to visit Birdy in a week. I am feeling both excited and overwhelmed. I have a lot I need to get done today. I also really need a shower.

Ok, off to get started. Will report back later.

post 2, what I am doing today.

I am struggling with the small bedroom upstairs. It used to be my kids' room, at one point it was a guest room, then a play room, then Teen's room, then back to a play room. Now, it is a storage unit.

It was so bad today I could open the door but that is all. No ability to step inside or reach anything except the dog food right by the door.

I have been tossing (literally throwing) bags and boxes of things in there getting ready for TotsFam.

Today I tried to work on it a little. I pulled out one bag of dog food and poured it into the dog food bin in the kitchen. I pulled out a box, a whole bunch of paper bags and plastic bags, and a bunch or reusable cloth bags. The cloth bags will go in my car, maybe with a few plastic bags. The rest is going in the trash because I have no room and I have no time to drive them to be recycled. I just need to be able to get into the room.

Then I started placing smaller fragile things of Teen's onto a wall shelf so the grandkids can't break them. Then found a broken item of Teen's childhood, was very sad, threw it away.

Became overwhelmed and quit.

There are two plastic shelves in there with not much stuff on them, but I can't get to them. There is a bed piled with stuff, several tubs and totes of stuff, a bookshelf of stuff... it is overwhelming.

My goal is to clear a path to a shelf (even if I have to chuck things from the floor onto the bed pile or to the side) and start placing things I want to keep on shelves.

That is all.

ok, catching up! Notes to all:

Thanks CM. This week in my devotional was focused on fasting. I have struggled so much with this that I did not even try it. I thought about trying today, but thought it might be a bad idea while sick. I don't know why it is so hard for me. Food hoarding on my body, perhaps?
Another "poor" person here - I made $17k last year and am on medicaid for insurance - but I feel very rich in my life, in a job I love, with people around me I love. It's my choice to have this life instead of money. I could make far more if I was in my degree field. I am comfortable enough, and make do. And my kids are nice! (My son bought me the new phone! It's refurbished but nice!)

My dreads: getting rid of something and then realizing I need/want it back. Getting into a room to declutter and feeling overwhelmed and stopping. Having people pressure me to clean or declutter. Worrying someone who doesn't know the state of my house will stop by... like my boss or something... and I would seem SO inhospitable to not invite them in.

SubC, I hope your tea-bedtime-snack habit is sticking! I will join you on that one, starting tonight.
You would not like how my table looks. Yet, I have not put anything on the kitchen table. It is all stuff dil puts on it, from boxes to clothes to food to toys etc. If there is a place for it I put it away, but I don't feel like I can just grab all her stuff and move it... or ask her not to put things on the table. I dunno. I tried moving everything to one end but it just stays there.
Excited about your fence!

Tatoulia, you are still doing well at keeping your place neat. I think you are a kind and generous person the way you pay your cleaners. And how you have offered to send me your unneeded clothing several times - I am so touched by that, even though I am too self conscious about clothes to take you up on it at this point. I think I look terrible in anything, and worry I would receive and not wear, so I just continue on with my same old.
The mom stuff is very hard I imagine, not only in stuff factor but in quantity.

Other notes. The trip went very well, I feel like being in my job actually does some good in the world and lets me love people in tangible ways. Teen had a terrible meltdown after I came home, no I don't think it had anything to do with me being gone as they prefer me being gone - it was a response to a stressful situation they were anticipating. I will just say it was traumatic and police were involved, and an ambulance. I am emotionally exhausted, Teen is at my other son's for now. I am truly devastated at how much pain my child is in and how little hope there seems to be. It breaks my heart over and over, every day.

But I put it in a box on a shelf so I can have a life, and have some joy, and go on despite that tragic situation and pain. I am thankful for that, so I can still smile, and care, and do good.

Quick hi for now

SubC, I hope both Birdy and the new baby will be fine and healthy, and the rest stay healthy. That goes for all of us and our loved ones.

Lila, I'm glad the spiritual reflection resonated. My Lent has been a bit disjointed in some ways but I sure do like my Tuesday group.

Time itself gets disjointed, projects, planning, all of that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just getting old and that's why, or if it will improve once I can get something rolling. It had a couple of months ago, then I lost momentum, recently picked up a little but wish it was a whole lot more so that I don't feel like it's so precarious.

We had our quilt bingo yesterday, my cousin ended up being called into one of her jobs so she could only get with me for lunch beforehand. I sat with some friendly people though, but was tired afterward, took a long nap, and had a migraine afterward. I need to be better about getting meals on time. There wasn't anything I could eat for a main course at the bingo, and I wonder if the nachos I did eat might've had MSG. Although not eating and overstimulation could just as easily explain the tiredness and migraine.

So today, I did do a load of laundry but otherwise am just trying to get my bearings. I am going to figure out something for a real meal here in a minute. I have difficulty stopping for meal breaks at the times most people do, because I'm just getting into the day's productivity around 11:00 a.m. That is due to my roommate getting up later, shared bathroom situation, misc. things that are logjams in the flow of mornings. Roommate and I have tried brainstorming but haven't come up with many solutions just yet. Maybe we will eventually.

It will all shift again anyway, as soon as spring gets her outside earlier in the mornings to do gardening stuff, so I may just have to wait until the shift happens and then figure out how to fit my tasks in around it. Those are times I would really like to be on my own, but I know I'm not financially or mentally ready at this time, so just have to make the best of whatever for now. In some ways even after a year and a half of her being retired after working from home during the pandemic, we're still feeling our way along.

well hello! I made it back. Worked a very long stretch, got one day off and was supposed to work another 7 day stretch but came down sick (go figure). So I missed yesterday and today, slept most of yesterday, and today am resting. Not sure if I will go to work tomorrow or not. The trip/retreat went very well.

I came back and search my name so I could first read anything said directly to me in my absence. Thank you for remembering me! CM, I liked what you had to say about the idolatry question. I think you are leaning into the grace of God - he is not frowning down on us with our clutter. He wants us fully present, but knows we aren't perfect. We do our best! I am working through my feelings of putting things before God, and learning a lot from my Lenten devotional reflections.

I am going to grab some lunch and then sit and catch up on the other posts. I thought about you guys the past week! Will be glad to read about how you all have been.

Yes Tatoulia, there is not much point in going to goodwill without a bag. I don't think you want to shop right now.

I have let the counter of doom build up a bit over the weekend. Mostly recycling and donate items found/generated by Dh as he worked on various things and snacked.

He is still rearranging furniture in the house. The disruption makes it hard for me to get into any decluttering or organizing project because I am already unsettled.

I started all my tomatoes and did some pottery yesterday. Also caught up on laundry and dishes.

Today is a Bean day - it will be sunny and in the 70s (wow!) so we will work outside. This evening I will take him home and go to my pottery class.

Hello everyone!

That's a good list to be proud of, SubC!

I did not make even one goodwill bag. I saw my friend and her mother for lunch and since I had a car, I stocked up on seltzer. Sister arrives Thursday. I have a car Thursday so I'll go close out mom's bank account and will go to goodwill. But I need to make a bag, right?

I got in touch with the guy about selling my art. Only the extra stuff. Am getting an appt for April or May.

Slower lazier day than I intended. Read a little, did some word puzzles, did chores, watched a short video, wrote a friend, made two flying pigs, put away the laundry, cut Dh hair, found the grow lights and set up one, potted up about half the ridiculous number of willow tree starts. Am now showered and thinking about what to wear to go out to dinner and a concert with Dh tonight.

Things I am proud of:
Did some clay work, if only a little
I am using the potting soil and saved pots that I had stored
I am not behind on starting seeds

I ran some errands and took out recycling. Will lounge and then get to work on donations.

Fantastic news on the little one! Thank goodness!

Sounds like your night was fun and a success!

I'll let you know my progress. Haven't done a thing all night but I have a car on Sunday so time to get things donated.

Good luck with your bins!

Ddil texted - they got him right in today. diagnosis, breast milk jaundice - the only easy option (special formula for a week)

Much relief!

Just got home from the play - 7 of the ten in the children's chorus are in or have passed through my classes! I'm a little hurt no one else invited me. (Not really) they were amazing!

Need to do chores and get to bed before I turn into a pumpkin.

Hi SubC yes googling the possibilities brings terror. Sending you peace and many, many good thoughts. We love your family!

The chemical smell is gone now that they have dried and I febreezed them. I just don't know what to do. The pretty silk dress would be nice for a friend and I may ask her. The crazy pantsuit and the other dress may go to goodwill. It is a lot of work to describe the outfits and post on Etsy. Then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The one brand of dress, Suzy Perrette, goes for a lot but again, I'd rather sell in person than do a deep dive into condition.

I know an area of my closet that I will clean out. There are two big bins that Emiko filled and they are on a shelf in my clothes closet. Whatever is in them, I haven't seen in a few years. So unless there's something magic, should be able to clear those out this weekend.

Anything for less stuff.