The concert and the walk sound lovely, SubC.

If the neighbor doesn't take the car, I have two more people to ask if they want it. One is another neighbor who I watched grow up and one is somebody who I don't know but seems like she could use a boost. She's young and once said something about needing a car. At Christmas she had no plans whatsoever and so i gave her a card with a gift card in it. It was well after hours. She cried and cried. Since I was t having Christmas here, I could not invite her to my festivities and told her so.

I will call the garage people and see if they can let me stay another month at the old cost (new contract April 1 is $90 higher). I don't anticipate a problem with that. I'm unwilling to do that with the original neighbor because I've offered to help with the insurance. If no one wants it (and I get it, we are talking about city living here) my friend in the suburbs said I can park it at her place and sell it from there. It's a Toyota with 103k miles, garage-parked, so it has a lot of time left on it.

I'm not worried about it. Yet

Today I'd like to consider going to goodwill if I can get a bag together. Best way to do that? Open the other suitcase!

Post in two parts because I lost one yesterday.

Lila,

I think you are just exhausted. Stress and lack of rest are really hard on your immune system. You do so much and you have had so many changes and challenges. Could one of the people in your house maybe make stir fry or soup (for veggies) or fruit smoothies out of your ingredients?

You need a vacation week like I claimed in June.

(I am actually thinking about trying to do that every year)

Good morning!

Tatoulia,

Yay for an easy win on the recycling! Will you sell the car if the neighbor doesn't want it? Will you be able to find a place to park it?

Funny story - my parents and my in-laws visited New York City the same year.

My dad drove the old beat up car he had been trying unload for months but couldn't sell for anything near it's blue book, parked on the street, and left it unlocked (my dad habitually leaves his car unlocked, he was an insurance agent and his philosophy is - leave nothing in your car. If it's the car itself they want, the lock won't help.) My parents travel light. My Dad likes to eat out, and when my mom says "what if I need?" My Dad says "I'll buy you one."

My in-laws generally try to do everything as cheaply as possible, but they sprung for a parking garage. They also packed all of their food for the day, brought gear for every change of weather, and carry tools in case something goes wrong with the car (my fil knows how to fix most "somethings") my mother in law locks everything and triple checks. If you go out to your car to get something, she locks you out of the house while you're doing it.

Guess whose car was stolen. My Dad said it was so unfair.

Badger wants another suitcase.

CM, IIRC, it's the getting things away from walls and creating access that is the really stressful part of the termite check? I remember that from every time we've had anything done in our basement. You have my sympathy. Maybe the process will turn up something that can go..

The concert last night was really good. We couldn't park in our usual garage because there was also a soccer game. Instead we ended up parking by the library and walking four blocks and then cutting through the park. It was a nice walk even though it was cold and windy. I can totally see not having a car if you lived in the city. Ours has a free street trolley as well as busses.

I didn't get to bed until almost midnight, but still woke up at 5:30. Bean is spending the night tonight, so the two of us will probably go to bed at the same time.

Before that I plan to get back out to the pottery studio, clean up a bit more, and actually make something today.

Hi everyone! Lila, I am so sorry you are suffering from serial illnesses! Really terrible. Cm! Good to hear from you! The termite inspection won't take too long, I hope. But the anxiety leading up to it must be great. You'll be okay, just keep breathing!

Good work on the horses, SubC, esp being able to throw out the broken one.

We have had torrential rain all day. I slept most of the day but I opened one suitcase and everything in it can go to recycling. It was my friend's promotional materials for one of her books and the publisher went belly up so I can get rid of them. She'd need to get all new since the IBSN number would change. Before BF left we found a couple of boxes of her stuff and we had never opened them and one of the boxes had the promotional materials for someone else's book. I'd previously had a drawer full of her stuff for a different book and I put it in recycling. So that was easy and that was something. Still have not opened mom's suitcase. The one I opened is a funny old American Tourister suitcase that I should try to sell.

I don't know what's going on with the car. I think the neighbor truly cannot afford it. I sent him a long text yesterday telling him I don't want them making a bad decision and that they really need to think about it

Living without a car is very freeing for me, CM. I went 16 years without one and I remember when I did buy one, my boss said how he always found me so breezy because I didn't own a car. I am glad I finally did get one because that's how I met my BF. I would have never met him but for renting a garage space next to his business.

I am afraid at my age that I need to walk as much as possible. I don't want to get too sedentary.

So that's the news. I'm making the smallest progress possible but again, it was a really small badger.

You are doing good with the horses. SubC. I too have horses from my childhood, most of them arranged on top of my wardrobe. They are Breyer horses. I sold all but my favorites when I was 18. Maybe my grandkids will play with these. But they feel like a connection to my childhood.

I am sicker today and feeling so tired and icky. It is already almost 3pm and I feel like I just crawled out of bed. I have done literally nothing. Looks like I will miss work again tomorrow.

I don't know what is up with my getting sick over and over, but my family also catches the same things, just not all of them. I mean, Son got the cold but not the vomiting. Teen got the vomiting but not the cold. I got the virus before that. How do I get to where I stop getting sick?

I am too tired to do anything, and the ingredients I bought for recipes are rotting in the fridge because I am too tired and sick to cook them, no one else wants to, and I can barely taste anyway.

Not sure how to get out of this funk.

CM, we will both need a do over on the equinox. Or maybe better luck next year.

Ten cubic feet is a lot and you do get some credit. I am hoping that as your roommate keeps decluttering, , things that are hers will move out of your room, giving you more space to move around and work on your things. I know it doesn't always work like that though.

Dh and I worked out in the pottery studio barn. I don't have any items except the three horses listed in the tally thread, but a lot of things got sorted out and put away properly and we created two paper ream boxes of recycling and a plastic grocery bag of trash, so that is progress.

The remaining horses are drying on my counter. There are three that will get put away elsewhere because they are the wrong scale, a horse, a pony, and a baby pony that were mine that will go back in the barn, two horses that were my girls' that will go back in the barn unless they object, two horses that were my girls' that I want them to take or let me get rid of (I will pack dd2's in her bins for now if she asks) and two horses that are going to the kids resale shop. The barn has 4 stalls. If you add it up, there were 15 horses stuffed in it.

I could only find one of the stockings I wanted to wear tonight. I now want to take everything out of my closet, clean it, and put back the things I want to keep neatly. Except I know that half my clothes don't fit and I want to loose more weight first so that everything in the closet fits. Sigh. Also, this really is not where I need to focus right now - which is probably why I want to do it.

Hi, days went by faster than I could keep up with them. I barely marked the equinox which was also St. Joseph's Day. In years where I'm more on the ball I probably would have gone to Mass because I really love St. Joseph and I need his help with so many things. Took a class about him in 2021, which Pope Francis had declared the Year of St. Joseph. Well, at least on that day I did have my Bible study class, the last one of this session. The group has bonded and some of us will try and get together informally over the summer plus the leader will hopefully have something new put together by fall. I so missed the in person faith group thing during the post Covid last couple of years.

It was a busy week overall. And unfortunately next week will be so as well, and with a juxtaposition I'd rather not have, and other challenges.

The juxtaposition: We have to prepare for termite inspection which is always a huge hassle - and it's Holy Week which I would love to have as a quieter, reflective time. This doesn't happen most years, because the inspection is always in March and Easter is usually in April. And usually the inspection was more during spring break week but somehow this time it was the last week of the month.

The other challenges are that the weather turned colder again - that sort of winter trying to hang on a bit phenomenon. And some of our preparation for the inspection will be outside in the detached garage. Sigh. It's been very changeable overall and probably will be for awhile.

So I'm just like blah :P but trying to not let it bug me too much or make me grouchy. Roommate has been doing a lot of decluttering of papers and we took 10 cubic feet of her stuff to the thrift shop. Do I get partial credit for that since I drove? I want to let her doings inspire me to do more of my own. We've had bunny events and I'm still sort of regrouping.

The badger - can't remember who initiated the running joke, could've been SubC or Tillie, or even yours truly. I know had at one point I had made and posted a meme of it, but I don't know if I can remember when that wa, or how to repost it. I seem to have forgotten how to make images upload and display here. But if I figure it out I'll repost the picture. Or maybe make us a photo bucket type thing for pictures. I definitely miss emojis here since they quit working.

SubC I guess Useless is not entirely useless if his single one can make him a daddy, lol.

Lila, I hope soon you get well for good! I totally understand the bit about trying to make your room into a peaceful sanctuary whilst living with other people, and how hard that can be.

Tatoulia, I am very opposite of you, I can't imagine life without a vehicle of my own, especially when one has to walk in bad weather, and I'm too agoraphobic to walk very far. I feel too vulnerable or something. And many areas used to be safer than they are now. But you are probably more used to walking in a large urban environment. In any case, I hope it goes well rehoming the car.

I'm not sure how much time I'll get to post before Easter but maybe I can pop in here and there. Wish me luck getting ready for the bug man.

Slept ten hours last night and had a lazy morning.

Chores are done, breakfast eaten, and the heat is warming up the pottery studio.

There is a toy barn that has been stashed near my pottery area for years - it was mine, and my kids played with it. I keep thinking "I should clean that and fix the railings and let Bean play with it. I wonder where the horses are?"

So I opened it. The horses were piled inside. In a non-climate controlled space. Where there is clay dust and diesel exhaust and a wide range of humidity. Also, there ar more horses than stalls.

I grabbed the three off the top:
1) White pony I loved as a kid - broken. Sigh. - into trash
2) brown pony, washed ok, but not that great a horse - donate bin
3) Large Breyer Gelding I remember from my childhood, washed great, drying on counter for Bean.

Lila, I hope you are feeling better today.

Tatoulia - BADGER!

CM, check in with at least a "hi" if you stop by.

Off to grab some more horses..

Hi ladies!

Lila, you are doing a lot! But I know the feeling of frustration with respect to how much more needs to be done. Tillie used to tell us that once we got space to guard it. Spend time each day guarding it. I have not followed this to a T by any measure, but it has helped me quite a bit.

I got up early to take my cat to the vet for blood work. It's pouring rain. I feel that every time that I take her we are having massive weather. And it is round trip one mile of walking. So she's mad and wet.

I was supposed to meet BF's niece for coffee today and I just asked her if she wants to move due to the torrential rains and she agreed to wait til next week to catch up. She's so lovely and accomplished. Not really his niece but that's his way of talking. The girls call him uncle.

I am going to make breakfast and start laundry. And then I'm going to look within my soul and see if the badger is staring back.

Aww, Lila, I'm sorry you were lonely. I hate that.

We did post this morning.

It was a full day for me - morning chores, getting ready for school, dropping recycling off, making copies and a short conference, teaching, loading the kiln, dropping books off, dinner with Dh, a long conversation with dd2, compost out and evening chores.

Tired.

You were quite productive.

Yes, the buck is named Useless. I didn't want to use him for breeding, so he had no purpose here. I try not to give names to the ones I am planning to sell, but I couldn't sell him because he has an undescended testicle, and he was here so long his nickname became his name. Now I haven't found a new buck and just need to freshen my does,so he ended up being useful after all..

Tatoulia, I am picturing the badger crouched in your closet between a bin and a suitcase. Hope your evaluation went well.

I'm yawning the top of my head off, so I will check back tomorrow.

Awww nobody posted today.

What did I get done today? Feels like nothing at all, so I will list it.

- Washed a few dishes that were in the sink.
- ordered some medicines and stuff from the store
- paid all the bills online
- deposited some checks I had sitting here
- folded a few bath towels and put them away
- asked my son to pick up prescriptions for me (he did)
- made a change to an autopay thing online
- found 2 items to add to the Daily Tally

I think that's it, besides feeding the dogs and letting them out and doing some reading. Watched tv, ate junk, made a couple phone calls

Badger badger!! Looking at you, Tatoulia!

I do remember mention of a badger some time ago but never the picture.

Oh I am tired. Your goat's name is Useless, SubC? lol... funny!

Where is Road, where are some more people? Maybe CM will come around.

I am home sicker, Teen got the stomach bug, poor thing, it's terrible. Son (youngest son) got the cold I have and has to work from home. I have today and tomorrow off. I have been sick so much I never have a day off where I can get anything done. But I will try. I forgot it is trash day.

My bedroom is very difficult to navigate. The small bedroom which is now storage is worse, piled high, you can't get in. The other small bedroom upstairs is the play room and toys are everywhere, and my nephew is coming for Easter and will need to sleep in there, so I will have to clean up the toys or ask Tot to do it. She is pretty helpful.

I don't know where to begin.

There is just so much.

I'm tired just reading your to-do list, SubC!

Yes get that fence date changed!

We can just say Badger. I know all too well what she looks like. She looks like a suitcase and two bins in my closet. (Insert sheepish grin here)

Have a great day, everyone. I have my performance eval today. Got the written one yesterday and pretty good!

The badger didn't work.

I forgot the teacher social activity I'm also running in April.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, let's see if badger works :

?

I think we stopped sending him around because the emojis weren't working, but if he's up there, he's yours. If there is just something odd in that space, well, I guess we'll have to make do - like the little prince, and you can keep him a while anyway.

I hope you open the suitcase and think "oh, I don't need any of this". Sometimes people upcycle those old hard side suitcases for decor. Maybe it will find new life.

Insurance! - duh. I was trying to figure out why a free car would be expensive.

I got the last of my spring seeds started yesterday. I should have done it two weeks ago, but I was afraid they would come up and get leggy while I was gone, and then I just had trouble getting to it for a few days when I got back. It will be ok. It's mostly basil. I am realizing I need to sort out the seed starting stuff and plant pots. Too many of the things I have kept belong to our friend Justin.

Dh has a business trip the week after Easter. I have just realized that that week is the earliest my fence may arrive. I need to contact them because I can't unload it if he isn't here to operate the forklift and this will be the one time something gets done quickly, right?

April is feeling so full and overwhelming right now.
Dh gone, his parents visiting, fence delivery, prepping for my spring sale, baby goats due, the possibility of my parents visiting (I am excited about this! Birdy May bring his parents that weekend too!), starting the outdoor planting in earnest, prep for the school art show (May 1), my class project to do, the spring sale itself, and whew! April will be over in a blink. Then it will be May and time to wind the school year down.

The next week is almost the calm before the storm to get things prepped.

Anyway, I feel like I did well yesterday. I am skipping my yoga this morning and not planning anything but school and dropping off the recycling today. Trying to keep it light. I have put out all the spring rabbits all over the living/dining/kitchen area and will get out the rest of the Easter decorations and prep Bean's basket over the next week. I just need to buy his chocolate rabbit and some kind of candy to fill eggs. Just one small bag.

Great work of writing a list and making a plan, SubC! I keep making a list and not really getting anywhere with it.

These weeks are passing so quickly, it is amazing to me. I got an invitation for Easter brunch so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

I need help getting through my stuff. I have written a list, giving myself three options, and I haven't even started one of them. I wrote the list a few weeks ago. And now I can only remember two. One is to look through the two bins in my closet. Find out what's there and figure out if I can get rid of anything. My friend packed them so I have no idea. The other is to get rid of my mother's suitcase if possible. No idea what's in it. She bought this luggage probably forty to fifty years ago and no one uses luggage like this anymore. Very heavy. Definitely durable but really heavy. I've donated all but two pieces of her set. And oddly enough, at the subway the other day I saw a piece of this luggage in my mother's color and everything (a very odd color) and I thought, i bet that's one if the pieces I donated recently. Then I thought, maybe it's a sign from mom. Of course in real life my mother would be heartbroken if I got rid of anything so maybe it was just her saying hi. So the goal is to figure out what I have and to get rid of it. I need to make space.

Running into a hitch with giving the neighbor the car. As a first year driver, the cost of insurance is 3,000. Not kidding. I even checked with my agent. I don't want this girl to make a bad decision . I told her father that there will be no hard feelings but I need to know this weekend. I offered 500-600 toward the insurance but honestly this sounds like a terrible idea.

So that's where we stand. I can always sell it, although I have two other people to ask first to see if they want a car.

Please help me to get something done this weekend. Let's get the badger over to my house! Lila, the badger is something we used to joke about and I'm not sure who invented it, CM maybe? We'd talk about needing someone to badger us to get rid of stuff and so we'd ask to have the badger come by. Not sure if you were with us during the badger times

I'll need some tough love if anyone has any to spare.

So, it is mid/late afternoon.

I am eating a not super healthy snack chocolate candy mixed with raw walnuts) but I think I am doing pretty well today. I have tried to pace myself more.

When Dh left this morning, I thought "ok, he will be home in 13 hours." I made a list of 24 things I need to work on or finish, and I pledged to myself to work on at least one of them during each of those hours. So, I have done that. And I have finished 8 of them.

Of course I have been putting off "check kids work" and "plan for Friday classes" love teaching. Dislike prep and evaluation.

Counter of doom is better. Freezer is better. Stuff count is worse - update there next.

Good morning.

I will be home all day today again. Hopefully I can manage the afternoon. And also check all this student work that for some reason I am resistant to checking.

It is in the 20's this morning and won't break freezing until nearly lunch, so I intend to get the fire going. Not an outside day.

Lila, I hope you feel better soon. Stress is very hard on your immune system.

I have ordered some more toy animals for Bean and Birdy that were on sale. I had points that were about to expire. They are supposed to come today. I need to get Bean's Easter basket in order. I'm not doing one for Birdy this year as he is not old enough to notice. Bean remembers that last year there was a chocolate rabbit. A chocolate rabbit is a good tradition. It does not accumulate.

There were some little buck goats not too far from me that I liked. I was hoping to pick one up in the next two or three weeks. The seller told me he would let me know if one sold (I was having trouble choosing), but yesterday the listing was gone and when I enquired he told me he sold them all. I'm trying to just believe that it was for the best and things will work out as they should, Useless did cover at least three of my girls this year, so I can keep using him if I need to. I have to remind myself that much as I love baby goats, the point is milk. And my barn is really not ready for more animals.

lol, SubC, yeah, 15 minutes a day to deep clean?? That must be for people who have to stuff to move around first, or organize, or get rid of!

Well I got two days of work in and now I have a cold. Bad enough to keep me at home, so I am working from home today. I did a walmart order so I can have enough tissues and some OJ and soup. I should be cooking but I am so tired. Will get this work done though, and will enjoy Fri and Sat off. This is a very busy time of year at work because of Easter coming up, but there is nothing I can do about being sick again and missing things. I do hope I can get my system in order somehow so I don't keep catching every germ. I did get some probiotics. I have Hashimotos autoimmune thyroid disease which means I can't just go taking immune system boosters. I need to figure all that out.

Did not start a project.

Fell right back into the snacks and videos afternoon spiral. I am making the connection with the emptiness Lila, I think I feel lonely in the afternoons. I turn the videos on for voices and then I snack because I think it will "recharge" me. It doesn't.

I did finish drying all the laundry and putting away all but two loads. Also did chores and showered.

I am so thrown off, I even forgot it was the equinox today.

Midday update.

Did yoga and my chores, watered my plants, did a quick check on the garden beds, went to vote, unpacked and put away my suitcase, have washed - but not dried and put away- all the laundry from the trip, found one pair of jeans to pass on, ran the dishwasher (including dishes rinsed but not run before vacation), picked up the mail, and discovered that a mouse made a nest in the basement rafters while Mr. Kitty was locked outside for the week.

Now I am having a healthy lunch of things that needed to be used up and can start on a project.

Here is some humor for your day - YouTube thought I might want to watch a video where a woman promises that she will show me how to deep lean and organize my entire house this year in just 15 minutes a day.

Good morning!

Mr. Kitty missed us. He stayed inside all night. He doesn't meow, but this morning he followed me around making his little chirpy noise until I settled on the couch and started petting him. Usually if he has been in all night he wants to go out first thing.

I am tired, but I forced myself to get up half an hour after my usual time this morning so that I can go to bed tonight and tomorrow won't be so hard.

Today I only need to leave the house to vote. (Primaries - which decide most of my local races because democrats don't run, and a tax issue). I'll update later on what I get done.

CM, I hope you enjoy your warm day today. Maybe you can find one more thing to take with you when you make roommates drop run. Hopefully her decluttering will make more room to shift things around and help with your decluttering. Especially since I believe she still has belongings in your room?

Lila, sometimes change makes me feel sad. Even when it is good change. You are letting go of a lot in your life. Some of the change is better, but some involves letting go of things that were not bad things.

I'm sorry your home is stressful, but I'm glad you have more adults who clean up, even if the messes are bigger now. I think continuing to focus on your room as a sanctuary is a good thing.

hi all, thank you for your kind comments. CM, I read a book by St Augustine during covid. Maybe some of it is in my brain somewhere, coming out in this meditation.

I am so exhausted. Worked today and came home. My living room, kitchen, dining room, hall, entry are covered in toys, clothes, shoes, food, trash, and playdoh (like, in the carpet). It stressed me out, so after I picked up a few things I just came and shut myself in my room so I could work a little more. I think dil will clean it up, she is pretty good about it at the end of the day. But looking at playdoh in carpet, on tables, on floor stressed me out. It is not worth being stressed over, so I am avoiding it.

Part of me is terribly sad about something, but I am not quite sure what.

Everybody's got a lot going on and I won't do it justice because I have a limited time right now, but I did read the posts.

Lila, try and get some probiotics if you can, to rebuild your gut microbiome. That should speed recovery.

We had our bunny fundraiser Saturday. Didn't get as many people as we'd hoped, though since the venue was small, perhaps that was all right. We made enough to make it worth it, probably, and got a large donation from an individual that was more than the take from the event.

I wasn't completely exhausted, but did opt to take a St. Paddy's Day nap yesterday. Today I've been uploading photos of the fundraiser to our Facebook.

Lila, the meditation you posted reminds me of St. Augustine's saying that our hearts are restless until they rest in God. Sometimes I'm not sure what for me is spiritual emptiness vs. ADHD dopamine depletion, but I know it does help to put the prayer time in, that seems to calm everything and bring hope.

Roommate has been decluttering quite a bit and I want to let it inspire me - she is more efficient and decisive, which is good to watch and hopefully imitate. She is eager to get her items gone quickly. That is smart of her! So I may help her with that part, by making the dropoff run.

It was cooler in the afternoon yesterday, dipped down into the 20s last night and is going to get up to 70s tomorrow. Kansas in March!

Good morning. I am a bit sad because we are leaving Birdy today, but I am also ready to get back to my life. Also I am allergic to the two dogs and it will be nice to wake up without my head completely stuffed.

We went to see my son play rec league hockey last night - which was fun, but disorienting. He was a tiny kid and a late bloomer, so I struggled to find him at first - my brain did not want him to be one of the tall players. He's pretty good.

Tatoulia, I hope you get things straightened out with the car easily and that your little house works out. Can you make it a screensaver or put a picture on a cardboard sleeve for your cc - whatever you will see before you I something? Do you think bf will sell his place there?

Lila, keep resting and being kind to your body. Take it slow.

The emptiness thing is definitely a factor in the stuff. I know I keep a lot of things because they evoke memories of times or people who are gone. I kept a lot of my sons clothes from when he was a baby and they felt very precious. Yesterday I was holding my grandson while his mommy packed up the newborn and 0 to 3 month clothes for me to take back for the "baby library" (I brought two new bins of toys and clothes) and there were a couple where she said "he never wore this" and I looked at it and thought "get rid of it." - the fasteners and fabrics are so much nicer now... the clothes have become about dressing real babies now, not aching over babies who are grown and living good lives.

It is a constant struggle for me to fill my life with people and experiences instead of stuff.

Ok, gotta pack up.

Lila I enjoyed yoir post very much. Will give me something to think about.

Go slowly with eating! And vegetables are not your friend after stomach issues. Go slowly. So awful what you have been through.

I did very little today. Boston is very much a St Patrick's Day town and even though I'm not on the parade route (I'd guess a mile or two away) there are a lot of people on the streets. I went to grocery store to get a few things. Having two cats truly means twice the amount of cat food. They go through so much! And they really are great cats even if I am a little creeped out about having two.

I did precious little today but did have a few long telephone calls with BF about some issues with his land overseas. He also has an issue with his place here but I didn't want to tell him so I'll do that this week. All is fine, it's just his real estate taxes are through the roof now that it is no longer owner/occupied.

I did clean out the cat boxes and did some laundry. But mainly just frittered my day away.

The little house I am looking to buy is in the Mediterranean. I would have never considered living someplace warm. It is very small, for one or two people at most. It's a confluence of events that brings me to the house. I would probably not live there but instead go three times a year. Bf right now is an hour away so it would work out for us.

My mother's dearest friends (and were mentioned in her obituary) ended up being people that I was very, very close with when I was in my 20s. They were probably a good 15 years older than my mother and they had a daughter who is probably fifteen years older than me. I only got to know the daughter once her mother died, as the daughter lives overseas. We are now very close and I am her only family. We got to talking about two of her houses and I asked if she'd ever consider selling the guest house separately from the main house. And so here we are. The nice thing is we can transfer the funds from my US account to her US account and not lose $$ in transfer fees and doing it piecemeal. So that's how we got here.

I just need to have something to look forward to. I don't mind if we sell it in a few years when we retire. It may be just a dream but I'm going to work hard to make it happen.

Hoarding lenten insight below - tell me what you think, please!

hi Tatoulia! I didn't think your post was babbles at all. In fact I enjoyed it quite a bit! Felt kind of like a conversation, interesting. You are buying a place overseas? I am not caught up on posts and don't remember this. Are you moving to be with bf?

I am still a bit on the weak and dizzy side so worked from home this morning. An hour and a half was enough for this brain. I am having a piece of cinnamon toast with coffee. Thinking about making a recipe with some of the veggies in the fridge. I think I could eat normal food now.

I mentioned a Lenten insight on hoarding that I wanted to share. It is maybe not a huge epiphany, but it is helping me. For Lent this year I purchased a book called Restore: A guided lent journal for prayer and meditation. I got it from the Catholic bookstore (I am not Catholic, but we are all one body, right?) Each day since Ash Weds it has a little short devotional and a question. One of the things this meditation brought out is that I have a resistance to emptiness. In the devo called "the ache of emptiness", it says about fasting: "What happens within you as you experience the ache of the things you have surrendered for the season?... we might notice that when we feel the ache and emptiness that the object of our fasting filled, we may immediately give in to it. We promise ourselves that we can make up for it later and instead indulge now in the thing we chose to give up."

Of course this is applied to fasting from foods, specific or altogether, but also can be applied to anything we wish we could give up or try to 'fast' from for a season, like no-spend November or buying things or a bad habit. What lit a light bulb in me was, those things... eating, hoarding, smoking, drinking, spending, anything... is filling an ache and emptiness. And when we take that away, we are left with the core ache and emptiness.

This is what is being explored next in the devotional. WHAT is the core ache? What are you trying to satisfy? Do you remember a time, even as far back as childhood, where you felt that specific ache and emptiness - the feelings associated with it? When I pondered this, a very specific and painful memory from when I was maybe 3 or 4 years old popped up and I just wept.

I think, at least for me, I have this fearful resistance to emptiness. Empty shelves, empty space around my bed, empty panty, empty stomach.

Trying to fill that emptiness has led to hoarding and obesity. I find this very profound. The devo will continue on in exploring the memories, feelings, the emptiness and ache and how to heal this, or rather, let Jesus heal it.

I hope this is helpful to someone here! I'd be very interested in any thoughts on this topic, even if you disagree. Please share.

I got the car's exhaust fixed today. There was a long wait but then the actual work took about 15 minutes. Went very well.

The young woman taking the car is still having money issues but i emphasized with her dad that we need to transfer the car by the end of the month. I'll help them financially if it comes to that. I paid for the repairs today and the father was grateful. It was good to have the car running and I did run a quick errand but I just don't want to keep it. Time to move it along.

So that's what's up. I may gather a bag and go to goodwill donations tmr with the car.

I received an Easter brunch invitation so I'm feeling pretty good about that! Was hoping for one of two people to invite me.

I'm working on the house and feeling very good about it. Found a good home for my mother's mink coat. It's reversible and good quality. I have issues with fur and fur/wearing and was so glad to find someone who was so grateful to receive it as a gift. That was nice.

I'm spending more money than I should on stuff I don't need or want. I need to pull it together. It's all wasted, esp when I'm trying to buy a place overseas and there's a chance BF will not be going halvsies with me on it. I have all the info on the place and I know the seller very well so I just want to pull the trigger despite not having the $$ just yet.

I am babbling. I don't know what my problem is. I'm so sorry. Forgive me. My mind is jumbled. I'll get a donation bag together tomorrow and I'll feel better.

aww I am glad you are with Birdy and enjoying this special time!

I am still a bit loopy. Able to eat, and did some cursory cleaning (which was swallowed up by the grandkids within 2 hours) but unable to do much else. Extremely tired.

Oh poor Lila! I am so sorry! Years ago I dreamt of a service where I would go to people's homes and air out their bedrooms and change the linens when they were sick. I so wish I could do that for you!

Oh dear Lila! I am so sorry you have been so sick! Rest and recover. Give yourself plenty of time please.

I am having a lovely time with Birdy's family. Ddil has been very generous with sharing him and ds is home now and I am enjoying him as well.

Bean called on the computer today and told me about going by my house to water my seedlings and that they had found the treat I hid in the fridge for them (and told dsil about) He also demonstrated how to eat a banana (when you have teeth) for his cousin and showed off the kangaroo family he made in nature class.

I am doing some mental planning and general rethinking of daily life while I am here. Also gaining weight I'm pretty sure. Ddil must stop making lovely cakes.

Hello! Instead of your usual busy Lila who was not around due to work, it was something new. What was Lila doing since Monday, you ask? Lila was vomiting! Yes. Worst stomach bug ever. I did not cease vomiting for approximately 20 hours. Like every 10-20 minutes day and night. Then I was trying to recover but still feeling quite sick and unable to eat. But today I am eating bland foods, and starting to feel like a human again.

I did not read your posts yet - that's next.

Yesterday I was finally able to shower (with a shower chair) and in the evening, washed my sheets. It was all I could do to get them back on the bed, but I needed to not be so gross and disgusting.

Today I managed to unload 1/3 of the dishwasher but could not finish.

I am enjoying sitting outside in the sunshine for little stretches of time with my dogs.

I have a little Lenten reflection on hoarding that I want to share, but am worn out, so will do so in a bit.

Hi everyone! I'm here!

Working on stuff. Getting car cleaned out. Had a dental implant put in today and have been sleeping since. I want to do some cleaning up here (it's 11 PM) and then head back to bed.

Taking car to the exhaust guy on Saturday. I've decided to drive it instead of the shenanigans of waiting for someone to tow it. The AAA people can take forever. Hoping I can get it there without too much noise.

Will be a big relief. I have to be out of my garage on the last day of the month.

Bunny planter complete, including the flowers!

Trying not to fret about spring starting to feel too busy and fragmented already. Probably also still adapting to the time change and may feel more on top of things after that is done.

I got the bunny planter reprimed and painted white. It just needs the features - eyes, nose, and the inner ears painted pink. Then a top sealing coat of Mod Podge, then the floral arrangement needs to be made. It'll be in a container that can just pop in and out.

Late afternoon I heard from the ladies that the bunny club's general brochure, which I had worked on revisions of, wasn't printing properly at the printer - margins were off. I wrestled with the thing for over an hour. This is what it is to have some design and layout knowledge but not enough. My skills are piecemeal. I think maybe I got it okay in the end. I need to save the thing as another document to use as a template for any future brochures I make for bunny club or whatever else. You can't find a simple Word doc for a plain white brochure that you add your own stuff to as easily as I'd hoped - everything is all colorful and prefab.

SubC, I agree the mornings are too dark - this is something that if I had to go early to work I would hate also. And I never thought about living on the east or west of a time zone, as I live pretty smack dab in the middle of mine, I think. I struggle a lot with time, calendars, changing weather, day length, seasons, months that end in the middle of weeks vs. the beginnings - you name it, I'm confused or discombobulated by it! :P

Another thing is changing lighting contrasts - I had migraines in the last few days after not having any for awhile (which was SO nice) and right now my eyes are saying I have been on the computer dangerously long, so I will sign off for now.

Good afternoon.

Bean and I have had a good day.

We baked tea bread, played hide and seek and brio trains, went for a walk in the woods to take pictures for my pottery homework, planted eight irises around the grape arbor stakes, but rocks on the tarps that were blowing out of place, and moved three out of the four lost and rediscovered rhubarb plants. (The fourth one is encased in the riots of a tree that should not be there. I cut it last year and it came back from the stump, so Dh is going to pull it for me when the ground gets drier.)

Tonight I have class and tomorrow Dh and I leave to visit Birdy.

Good morning.

The computer monster just ate my nearly finished post.

CM, I'm glad that at least you enjoy daylight savings time.

For me it is the season of losing my mornings, struggling to get ready for work on time, and going back to morning chores in the dark just when it was finally light. Later I will struggle to go to bed at a reasonable hour because there is too much light in the evenings. It doesn't help that I live on the western edge of my time zone.

Last night I stayed too long talking to the farmsitter's mom after I milked the cow. I didn't get to bed until ten, and I was very tired so I slept until 6:30. Only to come downstairs and discover that it was already 7:30. Now I am tired, sore, and stressed about getting things done before the kids arrive with Bean.

Lila, I forgot to say congratulations on the new grandbaby! We will both have new ones in the fall! You are getting quite a set!

Good job on the fridge project!

I continue to hope that your teen can find a way back to a better relationship with you. I have a question about your post language - is that a change in how teen is is self-referring or a gender reveal? And should we use female pronouns now?

I did a little bit of pottery yesterday afternoon. Nothing impressive.

The morning is half gone, so I need to get moving.

I just went around and set the clocks forward! It seemed like a long time until this eagerly anticipated task, and yet it also flew by. And St Patrick's Day is a week from tomorrow, and Easter only three weeks from tomorrow - whoa.

We have a bunny event the 16th. Been starting preparations for that. I need to paint a large papier mache rabbit shaped planter for them and do a silk floral arrangement in the basket attached to the rabbit. And prepare for roommate and I to do a craft project with kids at the event.

Lila, I don't want to be a mother hen but if you have any concerns about Acorn getting carried away with the bookshelf it might be good to get some wall anchors for it just in case. And for the books themselves, perhaps some bins for the lower shelf books. Just some ideas. It's so good for a kid to grow up with books. I learned to read and write before kindergarten by my mom reading to me and she would take folded paper and staple it into mini books that I could write and draw in. Fun times! Sometimes I think I got more writing done then than I do now despite my stated intentions, lol. Life was simpler.

hi SubC, I will look around and think about it that way. See if I can shift kid friendly things with not kid friendly things.

I did get the fridge cleaned out, omg it was a mess. I took everything out of every compartment except the fruit drawer (ran out of steam), threw away a bag of things that had gone bad, washed out the shelves, and reorganized. I put several items in the other downstairs fridge and now, my fridge is clean, pretty full still, but you can actually find things. And I know what is in there to use.

I also am doing some laundry for Teen, despite how unkind she is to me, because I love her and want her to be taken care of. I did explain to her that the way she speaks to me and detests me is hurtful, and pointed out that I am still doing things for her because I love her. I asked her to consider that, and try to think of me in a more positive light.

I am emotionally tired, and don't want to do anything, feel like I need more days off.

My house is so bad!!! I need an intervention.

Good afternoon!

Good luck on the fridge. I have been doing better with my fridge - mostly through limited shopping, but I am not there yet. In a couple of months, the milk and eggs will begin to accumulate faster than we can use them. And not long after that the garden will start producing. I need a plan. Several plans. Plans for meals centered around what is coming in, plans for selling extra eggs, plans for preserving the excess in ways that will cause it to be used effectively in the winter and spring.

As for the shelves/book storage - is there anything in the house that the kids can have free access to that is currently hard for them to get? Could you put those things on the lower shelves and your books on upper shelves and wherever those things are?

Today I slept late because I had a low grade headache all day yesterday that I was pretty sure was from lack of sleep.

Ran a load of laundry - I'm keeping up!

Worked on cleaning out in the barn a little bit (my barn is really bad, and it is just going to take time.) let the ducks out for a while. Gave the does their immunizations plus mineral supplements for the three that are bred. Did a cursory grooming of the one rabbit who was starting to get mats from shedding - no more mats, but he still needs a good brushing. Moved the second grape vine and finished mulching the grape arbor. It's cold outside and I'm feeling wind blown.

I've got four hours before I need to go milk the cow for the last time. Trying to make them useful..

Good morning friends. We had sickness run through the house. I think everyone is better now. But dil is vomiting a lot. Grandbaby #6 is on the way this fall!

I am trying to organize and clean but failing pretty badly. When I am home I am recovering from having to be around people all week and working a lot, but, it is not quiet except for early morning now, so I am finding ways to meet my isolating needs. It's a big learning curve.

I am enjoying having all the kids around me though for the most part. But the house is a disaster area even worse than before. I cannot keep up with it. There is no way. So I am mostly just doing cursory picking-up as I go, and taking care of dishes in the mornings. I did laundry yesterday. I still kind of feel like I am in a strange place, or something.

Today I am going to clean out (not scrub, but you know...) the fridge and freezer because there is not even room for an apple in there, it is so packed with everyone's food. I can't find anything. TotsDad brought their fridge here last week and I am going to see if we can move some of this food downstairs to that fridge. It is just too much, and my food is hidden and going bad because I forget it is in there. So, that's my big project for today.

Another new thing is I have two bookshelves in the living room. I have purged 80% of my books, so what is left is special, truly loved books. And when I was not home little Acorn took my books off the shelf, hid some, bent some covers, ripped a page or two. I find this very stressful so in the moment I just piled all my books on the upper shelves that she can't reach, but it is stacked and looks chaotic. So the other thing I would like to do today is box them up. I don't especially want to put them in the garage, though. I dunno, maybe I can make space for them in my bedroom on a shelf or something, it is kind of stressing me out.

And so it goes. Encouragement welcome.

CM,

The cow is not mine. It belongs to my farm sitter. She is enjoying a kid free work-cation with her partner. Her mom is taking care of the kids and small animals, but can't milk the cow, so her little sister is doing it mornings and I am doing evenings. Two more times.

I am wishing you luck on the storage area.

My internet went out yesterday afternoon and stayed out until some time in the night. It did not make me more productive. I didn't get very much done after my last post. I did finish the laundry. I did not finish the counter. I decided to delay planting because I am worried about things sprouting while I am gone. I read a book. And I stayed up too late reading the book. And now I am really tired.

Today - school and cow. It's supposed to rain all day today and tomorrow. I am less unhappy about milking a wet cow than I am about driving out there in the dark and rain - there are no lights, just a few house windows.

Also, my own yard is mud. I am tired of mud.

Sending love to teen and Lila. Not caught up on posts.

The swim was great.

Did you just get a cow, SubC, or had you had her before? Sorry if I'm being forgetful!

It's a rainy day here though I'm at the library and when I left the house it appeared to be maybe trying to clear up. These last few days have been a bit of this, a bit of that weatherwise, and I think that's how March is liking to be thus far and will continue to be - until it perhaps steadies out. It's tornado preparedness week.

When I was at the storage unit... what was it that I am now trying to recall about that? I know that when I looked I realized there were several areas that really were not in as bad a shape as I had feared. And then there are the areas that have been more intimidating. I think I'm going to consolidate the good somehow and that will feel more manageable and then the doom places I will need to "divide and conquer."

I also realized that there is probably going to be stuff that I'm ready to let go of, and other stuff that I really did feel happy to acquire and perhaps will want to keep. It's a delicate decision making process, to be sure. Books and supplies that if I truly can be creative with or enjoy in whatever way they are meant to be enjoyed (like board games - if I can actually PLAY them with actual people, for instance, perhaps at the senior center, instead of them being in limbo because the friends I used to play them with have been dead a few years now - stuff like that).

I know I had/have so many, many interests. The "had" interests' books and gear vs. the "still have" interests. The former should in most cases go to someone who currently is doing those things. The latter should be kept in a way that better facilitates actual use.

So that is the vision and goal to start with.

Planted and mulched the grape vine. Sorted through the stored pumpkins in the garage and gave the ones that were starting to go to the chickens. Did a 4 month check on the goats for kidding season - three bred, two open, one questionable. Need to do vaccines on Saturday.

Chased away the fox and penned up the ducks. (No losses)

Switched over the laundry, put a load away, and put a new load in the wash. Clean sheets on the bed.

A couple more items off the counter of doom.

Pretty good morning, but I generally get most of what I'm going to get done in a day done before lunch. I've been up almost six and a half hours. It feels colder outside than I thought it would today - close to 50, but dark and damp.

I'm probably going to post a lot today. Working on staying motivated.

I have done yoga and chores, made Dh and myself breakfast (and eaten). The first load of laundry is in the dryer. The second load is in the wash. I took the compost out (and cleaned a container out of my fridge).

The dishwasher is unloaded and the dirty dishes are in it. I took care of a couple of thing# from the counter of doom.

Time to plant the grape vine.

Good morning!

CM, how was your swim,

I had a successful day at school yesterday - more work to check today. Stopped at the grocery store, got gas, and milked the cow.

That cow is a workout. I wake up with significant upper body soreness.

I have more work to do to prep for school today, a grapevine to plant, seedlings to start, and a lot of laundry. Plus must hit the counter of doom. Other things on my list as well, so I am going to try really hard not to spiral. It's supposed to be cloudy today. But warm.

Registration for next year is going well so far - no first day glitches and 7/11 of my classes are already full enough to run and two only need one more student each.

I'd like to be able to get started on my laundry, but Dh is still asleep, so yoga it is..

Lol, my bubble is I suppose 3-6 feet, and I felt like I trained all my life for pandemic social distancing. I can go 2 feet or even 1 provided that the other party is aware that they are in close proximity and are being careful not to brush against me. The thing is, I know what a klutz I am, how I make sudden movements on impulse or just out of clumsiness. At those moments, I can bump into somebody if there's not that margin for error. And that aggravates me and probably them too unless they are the oblivious, rough and tumble type. Some of it's neurodivergence, some of it's having grown up in a roomier house.

Went to storage unit earlier and had some thoughts but have no more time right now to get into that because we are getting ready to go swim. Hopefully later.

Good morning!

CM, other people can be hard. I struggle sometimes even when my kids are here visiting. And I love my kids. I don't know if you are familiar with the concept of a "personal bubble"? It describes how big an empty space you need around you to feel comfortable - like how far away you expect people to stand when you talk to them. Some of it is cultural - New Yorkers in general have much smaller bubbles than those from the rural south, but some of it is personal. My family says my youngest has a personal bubble slightly smaller than her skin - she is always touching people, and that mine is about the size of the county. An exaggeration, but I really prefer not to be able to see neighbors from my yard.

Today is the first day of registration for returning students - aka full inbox morning. The parents have had the schedule for two weeks, but they all waited until after I went to bed last night to email me with questions. If history is any indicator, the parents who really didn't need to ask and got replies like "of course!" And "that's fine." Will diligently check for my response this morning, and the parents who got a detailed explanation about why they can't do what they want will have already contacted my boss to tell her I haven't responded and ask HER to make an exception for them. She will get in this morning and forward all of those to me with "please reply".

I am a little sore from milking the cow last night.

I got a good start in the barn yesterday morning, but i spiraled down when it started raining. Right now I need to check the projects that I put off far too long and get ready for school. Cow again tonight and that is all I'm going to try to do today.

SubC, it's largely me being still not used to a small shared space. Roommate grew up in a small house with a large family and I was an only child in a medium sized house with a basement, and for many years lived on my own, therefore becoming quite set in my ways. Only when finances got really bad (and the circumstances of that are too heartbreaking to discuss) did I have to try to live with others. Even though they have been nice others, it feels like surrendering a lot of control over everything from personal space, to scheduling matters, to cooking aromas and other things that are sensory overload. And I haven't been very good at adapting, and we sometimes get irritated, and it is just plain hard. Not that we don't have fun times too, yet I can't help wishing for my own place. I know it's gotta be the right time and now is not it, so... just have to muddle through the best we can.