Good Afternoon Everybody :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Hoping you are having a wonderful time at that workshop! :D

Been busy doing stuff all morning.
Tired out now, taking a break.
It's only 1:20pm right now, had lunch.
Another beautiful day today but with a bit more cloud cover & breezier than yesterday.
Got two loads of laundry done.
Been switching out Winter stuff for Spring/Summer stuff slowly but surely.
Still have to find the magical time when there aren't any cats in the cat beds so I can wash those things.
Took the winterizing plastic off the dining room window. So nice now to be able to open that window again.
The tiny Grape Hyacinth is blooming. ;)

~♡~Coffee clinks & love to all!~♡~
Tillie, YEA, for going barefoot!!!
SubC, YEA, for stuff going to your son's new house!
Porter, WOW!!! Congrats on new love, but Please, SLOW DOWN?! Part of me fantasizes about meeting a guy that will save me, but id freak if he took over! I would!! Even as helpful as you are being, please dont push ! Remember it is her issue, be very gentle. Ok? :D ~♡~
I realized yesterday my new truck is clean & simple & i dont want to trash it out like my car. Also, i think part of why i didnt want a full sized truck is cuz i think i associate that with hoarding, cuz in my serial shopping days, id come home with a packed full truck & get home & want to vomit, like a bulimic!
Im going to the rescheduled part of the earthbag workshop today, which then ill at least get to see the structure, especially the window arches, before we plaster over the earthbags! And i wont get stuck in the sand driving to her place, like i did last time in my car!
~☆~Happy Day to you all!~☆~

Good Afternoon Peoples :D
Weak lemonade "Clink!"

Hi Tatoulia :)
WTG! for being on time all week!
Such a busy girl you are. ;)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
YOU GOT A "NEW" TRUCK!!!!! WOOHOO!!!
Have a wonderful time on your mini vacation, enjoy every minute of it. :D

Hi CriticalMass :)
We all have our fingers crossed that very soon you will have a new or improved vehicle too. (((HUGS)))

Hi Porter :)
So wonderful that you found someone special.
Take your time, she needs time to adjust to any new changes you are making.
Slow, slow, slow, little by little.
Moving too fast is painful for her.
I think this could really work out for the both of you. (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical :)
WONDERFUL that your Son bought a house!
Yes! pack that car full of stuff for him! ;D

Had a great day today.
Two loads of laundry got done.
Then I straightened & organized the pump house where I keep yard/garden stuff stored.
Got out the 3 hoses and have them unrolled, stretched out straight in the sunshine to get the curl out of them.
Unwrapped the outdoor faucet since it won't get down too cold again.
Could smell the hyacinth as I worked out there.
Now I need to try to get Steven to attach the hose to the faucet for me because I do not have enough strength in my hands to get it on tight.
Sprinkled around some plant food pellets for some flowering type plants.
Took inventory of just what I have on hand to use in the yard this Spring. Should be enough. :)
Also, I walked for the first time since last Autumn in the yard BAREFOOT!

Wow porter, that is amazing that you have found each other! I am really happy for you! I am happy for her, but two weeks is really fast!

Maybe slow down a little, spend more time at your house? Don't stop keeping it up?

Be careful to talk with her before involving your friends.

You want this to be sustainable for both of you.

Anony, great news on the truck! CM, you are next! I think you both have great Easter plans.

Yay for clean teeth and getting to work!

I was amazing at work this week. But I barely made it through today.

My son bought a house. He invited us to come visit in May - carload of stuff going west!

Hi everyone.
Guess what?
I found a girlfriend my age.
We really hit it off.

But when I went to her house , she's a hoarder. Ugh huh!

I offered to help and she was so embarrassed she didn't talk to me for 6 days days. I was sad not hearing from her. I just can't stop thinking about her .
So I just went over there and kept knocking on the door until she answered . I simply just asked her to keep going out with me.
We went to a waffle house. She's been ti my house many times and I explained that I've lived as hoarder for many years with my former wife. But now I maintain it on my own and I'm nearly obsessed with keeping it clear and organized.

I didn't push to go to her house again . For a week she just came to my house , last Sunday I told I wanted her to trust me coming into her house. . She agreed , when I got I to her room I nearly welled with tears. As I was flooded with memories of how my Wife lived in her unhealthy room.

I went straight into the the bathroom and started cleaning . Marcie kept asking me to stop , but when unlocked the door.
I smiled real big at her with the biggest fake smile I could keep straight and invited her to a bath with me. I gave her time to look at what I had done as removed the bags. I had lit some vanilla candles . It wasn't to bad , but it was my move . I think I love this woman . Not her hoarding !

Later when I at my house alone I began to comp template what's happening. I'm falling in love. I'm not accepting her as a hoarder.
I went back on this last Wednesday and cleared her kitchen , she was ok with me helping her , because the bathroom was such a good experience as I regained her living space without saying word. At least what it seems lime.

So I purchased a small storage very near her house , she let me in. I asked her to leave. I explained I was not going through out anything. Not one thing. But was going to take the entire kitchen to storage and sort it out there , meanwhile her and I can beautify her kitchen. I asked if she buy new kitchen towels drapes and matching accessories like art candles , place mats . While she was out I got my brothers van , got my huge rolling conai ers and just scooped out the entirety of all things in the kitchen. There was alot of disgusting things I gagged and wretched on. But I just kept going.

In two hours it was all in the van , I left for the storage, I got a call from her , she was weepy about clearing her kitchen.
I asked her if I could make dinner as she put out the decor.
I made steaks with yams and green peas . Blueberry dessert.

The room smelled like bleach, After dinner we were intamate in the shower again. We just keep hugging eachother alot.
Sorry if it's too much Info tmi.

Today I asked if I could bring back the kitchen appliances and pans , and help her with either her bedroom or living room. She agreed to let me try in bedroom, she got upset .
Very upset. So I left . Leaving a text message that I'm not giving up just taking a break.
I'm about to go back over , and start on her living room .
It's really not that bad in the living room. And I did manage to trash bag 99% of her trash. I think as long as I keep on reclaiming room by room . I will be done in 2weeks if she let's me. But Im ready to give her space at a moments notice.
Friends it's like dejavue . I know she feels hopeless about her hoarding, and i feel so empowered . I can take hours not weeks. So it's like a sudden change , but also lime ripping off a bandaid.

I think I'll approach it going forward that won't do anything after sundown. So that I can seperate the hoarding focus and relaxation time. And not spending everyday at her house .

I've talked to my brother about her hoarding. He said run Porter. But I assured him I'm so in love with her I just can't do that!
I've secretly set a group of people , that help my wife and I last year, and have suggested another chili party. I've got 6peope willing to help. And two more people with vans , that are willing to only load and unload any containers.

I'm hoping she agrees to this. Because it can be done in a day, and I can reorganize her things in the storage in just one more day, and start to bring things back 1 day per room.

By next week. Her whole will have been sorted and cleaned.

I know I seem obssed with reclaiming her living space.
But I really want to get back to what it was like at my house where there was no obvious hoarding in the living space .
I think , I can't get past her hoarding, I need to see she's willing to let me have control over the living space as far as clutter is concerenerd .
I know I love her, at least unable to think of anyone else,
But to be honest I can't live with active hoarding in the living space again.
I need to just go slow , but I just can't seem to pull back .

I mean there's people you go on a dates with and then there's someone you feel like wanting to be with all the time. Super attracted can't get enough with, same Intrests and music and social events. A match, in everything but be hoarding. I try to explain that I'm hoarder too, but I'm just organized right now, she says I'm not a hoarder.

.

I'm now down 2 215lbs
My stamina at the gyms stronger than I can ever remember.
And I know what energy drinks to use on days when I'm not motivatied. So I'm either with Marcie or the gym.

I'm noticing I'm not at my house as much , not keeping it spotless, but think as soon as i stop my work at marcies I will return to keeping up on my house.I'm not concerned just aware.
I feel that way .

~♡~Love & coffee clinks to all!~♡~
CM, im so glad youre going to avoid blowing up & that the bunnies are becoming friends! :D
Tillie, that is great that your dental appointment went well & its over & that youre ok with the new dentist! How fun to have a new nightgown & sandals! :D
Tatoulia, all the best to you in your new leaf turning! :D
I found a truck yesterday & it is perfect for me & i love it!!! ~YEA!!!~ And my Mom donated towards it & my friend helped me sooo much more by just going with me & knowing all he knows! ....a funny thing was after we got back, since i let him in my house, he remembers my place being so interesting with my collages everywhere & when i was complaining about it, he told me how neat it really was back then....i really wasnt sure?!
I have a neat & unusual plan for Easter. Since i dont have TV, im gonna get a cheap motel room & watch Jesus Christ Superstar, while eating junk food from the truck stop! Im gonna also do a baking soda & epsoms salt soak in the bathtub while i have the chance! The original Jesus Christ Superstar movie made an enormous impact on me as a young teen & Alice Cooper is playing King Herod!!! Im so excited!!! ~☆♡☆~

Quick shout out! To everyone including you, Joan.

Have been at work T, W & Th and again tmr plus I've had something T & W nights. I came home tonight and fell asleep (after washing face and putting pjs on). That felt really good. I've been on time for work each day this week. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf.

I will talk to you all tmr.

Hello Everybody :)
Weak lemonade "Clink!"

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Keep up the positive astronomical outlook!
Another Blue Moon happening too.
So many lately. ;D
Great that you have your friend to help you vehicle shop, not only mechanically but also with dealing with the selling people.

Hi Subclinical :)
FAR OUT!!! that you have your Grandfather's cuckoo clock and it is now blessing your home with the hourly cuckoos! :D
I have very fond memories of my Grandfather telling me all about the black forest where his cuckoo clocks came from.

Hi CriticalMass :)
So sweet you are letting Mr. Bunny take his time adjusting.
Since Marty died last month Scooter has been trying to spend more time with Twinkles.
Twinkles and Marty were Best Friends Forever.

Went to my dental appointment this morning.
Xrays, check up and cleaning.
NO cavities! :D
But my old dentist had retired. :(
The other dentist seems nice enough, not spooky but very young.
Afterward I stopped by the thrift shops.
Bought a pretty new summertime nightgown, a pair of sandals that have Velcro straps, a large lemon scented candle and a fabric remnant that I think will make lovely carpet in the dollhouse parlor.
Now that I have no more pressing appointments I will be able to spend time getting dirty doing stuff outside.
And I think the weather will be agreeable for doing lots of laundry as I swap out Winter drapes & bedding & etc. for lighter weight stuff. :)

Hi again - Anony, so right on the gasoline thing. If my mechanic is scared to start it, it gets towed, no ifs, ands, or buts!

We've had a few happenings yesterday and in the night that may call for tweaks in plans. My roommate had a tooth out yesterday, and my bug or allergy thing hasn't peaked apparently. My nose is running more and I'm sneezing. Her allergies were bothering her in the night too. I could hear because I was already awake with mine and with sciatica - been too sedentary, need to walk ASAP.

So I will probably celebrate Holy Thursday here at home. I have my book with the Bible readings and it may also be on TV. Might be I'll feel better and go tomorrow night for Good Friday. However it goes I want to get well in time for Easter. And the week after I can deal with the van thing with open ended time. Payday is Tuesday, must find out what I still owe on previous repairs and what I will owe for the gasoline lines. I have a note jotted down somewhere.

Another thing I want to work on, something that will take my mind off these tedious vehicle issues, is bonding my bunnies. The new girl and my boy who lost his lady I think are starting to warm up to one another, so now we just need to get it to where they are friends and can play together. I've taken it slowly out of respect for the bunny girl who died and wanting to allow the boy to take time to be ready to have a new friend.

~♡~Good Morning & coffee clinks to all!~♡~
I feel MUCH better than i did, physically, emotionally & spiritually!!! I think my introspection of difficult patterns shifted in looking at the astroid Chiron & its presence in the solar power problems years ago & i feel its in my ability to influence things at my place, more than i did last week! I have prayed & looked inside & i feel a Lightness now!!! :D ~♡~
CM, i am really concerned about your van leaking gas! I dont think risking blowing up is worth it?!
It sounds like for now just celebrating these Holidays would be best?!
My friend who inherited & offered to help me buy a truck is taking me to look at trucks for sale cuz hes good at knowing about that & i feel much more confortable about him helping me with that instead of just giving me money! YEA!!!
Mar, all the best to you with your meeting & all you are doing!
~♡~♡~☆♡☆~♡~♡~

Hi all!

Mar, how did your conversation go?

Good job on cleaning everyone.

CM, I definitely think you should jus5 focus on Easter. You need to feed your soul.

I have a big joy to share tonight. When my grandparents died, I inherited their cuckoo clock. I remember my grandfather holding me up to see the cuckoo pop out when I was little, but the clock has been broken for years. I hung it in the corner of the old living room just to have it around to look at, but it was dark and crowded back there.

Dh found an old fashioned clock repair shop and had it fixed for me, and it is now hanging on the bright, well lit wall in the new addition. ticking happily. It is the only thing hanging on that wall.

Hi CriticalMass :)
YES!
Please just stop now and focus on all the Easter celebrations.
I believe this would do a whole world of good for you mentally, spiritually and physically.
And true, the van issues will still be there afterward but you will be in a better place to deal with those frustrations.
(((HUGS)))


Beautiful day here today.
Cats all insisted on going outside this morning so we went out for a little while.
Didn't take long before they all came back inside to use the litter box and take naps.
Have the windows open and am enjoying the fresh air until the breeze blows in something that makes me sneeze and cough. ;P
Looking forward to getting outside this weekend and getting the garden hoses all hooked up and other Springtime tasks. :D

Thanks Tillie. And hi to everybody. Somebody must've prayed for me. I prayed for me too. The really bad funk of yesterday is lifting. I called my friend who goes to my clutter club and we have a few ideas.

The weather here has been dry for months but now spring rains come about every other day or two. We need the moisture desperately but it throws a spanner in the works for me with the van situation. You see, I have several large crates of books and some other items in the van. I want to clean out the van before it goes to the mechanic's again and in case I sell it. Plans keep changing. Oh, and, it'll need to be towed again because there's gasoline on the manifold and it's unsafe to start. But I can get that done at no cost by my insurance company's roadside assistance. I checked.

I really wish now that I hadn't procrastinated last fall on getting the new storage unit organized and ready to receive that last batch of books. But I was thinking I'd have plenty of time, and I wanted to push to finish that quilt I was making for church.

So here I am with the van a mess and trying to decide what to do with it and those books and things still in it. And now push comes to shove. But as I said, today I felt a little better - I've had a cough and maybe it was a bug, and it's starting to go away so I have more energy. I'm talking to friends about maybe helping me with their cars to take the stuff to storage. And put in a call to the mechanic about towing the van to him after that.

This weekend is the Easter Triduum for Catholics - Holy Thursday Mass, Good Friday, Holy Saturday - and then of course Easter Sunday itself. For years it has been such a great spiritual time of meaning for me and I hope I can at least get to some of the special extra liturgies.

The van problems have taken so much out of me already and I'd envisioned them being long resolved before now. So I'm thinking that since Easter's so close I should just focus on it (I can get rides to church) and soak up the strength and positive significance of these celebrations and the van and all its issues will still be there afterward!

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi CriticalMass :)
Very happy you posted. :D
My wish for you is that some sweet little old lady who has a good car with low mileage that she only uses to drive to church on Sundays decides to sell you her car at a price you can afford. (((hugs)))

Hi Tatoulia :)
WTG! for open drapes! ;D
It's priorities.
We all have our own personal priorities.
Having clean sheets and making your bed were your priorities so you took care of that.
The other stuff strewn about the room were not top priority and were put on the back burner.
For me, dust is not a priority.
Mainly because I live in the desert with unpaved dirt roads.
I dusted last Monday and already the place has a layer of dust on everything, but that doesn't bother me anymore.
I wait until it reaches "critical mass" before I get out the dust rag.

When we switched from soap to using body wash in the shower I noticed that the bathtub didn't need scrubbing as often as before.
The soap left a scum in the tub but the body wash always rinses down clean.
Makes tidying up the bathroom quicker when I only need to focus on the sink vanity and toilet & sweep.

Today I will get ready mentally for the dental appointment tomorrow morning.
To help me cope, yesterday afternoon I made an angel food cake.
That will be my reward for going. ;D

Not much to say. The van situation drags on and I'm slowly going mad. Looking at what I might be able to afford and seeing how high mileage those are, plus more complications, make me wonder if I should just fix the old van "one last time" to get by. Yet even that is ridiculously fraught with uncertainties including WHEN it could be done.

It's good to know our cats are spoiled. It feels like it's the right order.

I am looking forward to getting bathroom clean and then re-learning maintenance. I was pretty excited that I did sink vanity and toilet the week after I'd last done them. Need to put tub on every other week but let's not get too far ahead here!

It was nice coming home tonight and having to close the bedroom drapes to change my clothes. And I thought about how I went through a period where I couldn't have my drapes open due to so much stuff strewn about my bedroom. I don't know why I let it get like that. I really don't. I always changed my sheets weekly and I made my bed everyday but there was stuff everywhere. So odd.

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Tatoulia :)
Thank you :D
YEA! Way To Go!!!
For cleaning that bathroom! :D
Good plan donating one of the blankets since Kitty doesn't care for them.
The blankets my cats always like the best are wool Pendletons, but any fine woolen blanket/shirt/coat will do.
Spoiled rotten little boogers.
Once you get the bathroom all cleaned it will be so easy to keep it clean with only a few minutes of work, as needed.

Have a load in the washing machine soaking as I write this post.
Moving rather slowly this morning. Still trying to shake off the ever lasting aftereffects of that %#*@ flu I had last month that is now combined with my allergies.
This Thursday I have a dental appointment for teeth cleaning. :(
Oh Well...
The Hygienist is humane and will allow me to breathe every once in a while. ;P

I washed some cat blankets yesterday. Tillie. One I'm going to donate. I bought them new this season-Martha Stewart twin size--and she doesn't love them. She barely sits on them and I washed them twice yesterday, just so I could donate one of them.

I cleaned bathroom sink, toilet and vanity last night. I swept bathroom (preliminarily--needs more work) and I swept the hallway.

Oh for freshly hung laundry Tillie. WTG for doing all your chores yesterday!

Hello Everybody :)

YEA! WAY TO GO!!! WOOHOO!
Loved catching up with all your goings-Ons! ;D

Well, I did it.
Did everything I said I would do today.
So now this blasted house is clean, again.
Looks like tomorrow I can hang out laundry, need to see what I should wash, like cat stuff maybe?
Hard to wash some of their bedding when they are always in the beds.
It's almost 8:30pm now, I am showered and ready to sleep.
Good Night :)

Sending you prayers. Mar. Anony I am so happy your mother is supporting and comforting you. SubC you are good to keep track of the inbound items.

Forgive me, I forgot to call Cory and so we are still stuck with the site being difficult. I am at office rest of week--not my choice--cannot remember last time I was in four days. Not looking forward to it.

With the site not being mobile friendly it's a little hard for me to write and read but please know I am thinking of you all. I did a lot of laundry today and it's folded and away. Kitty has brand new box and old one is in garbage bin. I've seen mom and now will do a bit of sweeping.

Love you Tillie--hope you are well. Bright sunny & bitterly cold here.

Hello everyone!

Check in.

Saturday I washed clothes. Yesterday nothing done. Today checked some papers, several to the box, several waiting for deciding, 4 pieces of paper and 2 bottles for recycling. Also I found a thing I was searching for since December!

I have to prepare an important conversation for tomorrow. Later, it will be more complicated to do it. Also I get nervous when I have to talk to someone. Please pray for me.

My dad will arrive here on these days, I'd like he see some progress made, but it isn't noticeable yet :(

(((HUGS)))

Clink!

I went shopping.

Well, let's see, I started the day at the food bank, where I only picked up one box of bread, including bread and rolls for us this week because we had so much we pulled everything with a sell by before March 24! So that was ok. I also picked up a huge shopping bag of recycling

Then I went to class by way of shopping - I bought cinnamon and cardamom powder (in non- recyclable plastic bags, ug!) at the spice shop where they give out free stuff. My free stuff was pizza spice and cayenne pepper, which I will use, in little glass jars, which I will save, but then when I got home I realized I also got a heart pin encouraging me to embrace hope. But maybe I need that. They have paper bags, so I accepted one.

Then I slipped off the rails a little - there was a sidewalk sale at the thrift shop across the street and I bought two new blouses (one with tags) a long sleeved sweater and a short sleeved sweater ($4.28) refused a bag.

Went to class. Did not buy anything (except a booth space for an upcoming sale - did it last year too, that's sort of work) while I was in class my Dd stopped by and returned my Tupperware by putting it in my car. She also returned two baby gates covered with dog hair that I thought I gave her, not loaned her. Clearly I need to start locking my car.

Borrowed a project example from a fellow student and brought home a bunch of newsprint patterns for work in progress.

Six bags of groceries (all food)

Bought 5 table knives at goodwill because dh keeps taking my knives to work and doesn't always return them. No bag.

At this point my car looks like I am living in it. Besides all the "shopping" it has a towel, my tools for class, a large plastic garbage bag in case I needed to wrap classwork, four small drywall boards (also "in case" for class) my swim bag just in case I get time to swim, my travel mug, a bottle of hand lotion, a brush, hair clips, and a bag of snacks.

~♡~Good morning, coffee clinks & chocolate coffee, too!!!~♡~
Tillie, thank you! Youre right that i need to practice some safety with all this yuckiness. Im thinking of doing a combo of suggestions, by using a peroxide spray bottle before dusting? And i should probably wear a mask, too. I hear you about small spaces being so much easier to clean. Its true! Ive always lived in tiny spaces & this place is huge compared to anywhere else ive lived & im sure that is part of my overwhelmedness.
One thing that has been really nice is that my Mom has been emailing me lately & being really supportive. The comfort that brings me, even at my age, is indescribable.
As soon as im well enough, im going to just clear, clean & color some more outside. That simple theme seems to be a good solid one! I want to use my ozonator inside for a few hours at a time, now that its nice enough outside to lock the cats & i outside for part of the day. That will help with mold & certain toxins. Ive been doing walks where i envision each area being beautiful & filled with color, etc...its nice! ~☆♡☆~Love to you all!~☆♡☆~

~♡~Good morning, coffee clinks & chocolate coffee, too!!!~♡~
Tillie, thank you! Youre right that i need to practice some safety with all this yuckiness. Im thinking of doing a combo of suggestions, by using a peroxide spray bottle before dusting? And i should probably wear a mask, too. I hear you about small spaces being so much easier to clean. Its true! Ive always lived in tiny spaces & this place is huge compared to anywhere else ive lived & im sure that is part of my overwhelmedness.
One thing that has been really nice is that my Mom has been emailing me lately & being really supportive. The comfort that brings me, even at my age, is indescribable.
As soon as im well enough, im going to just clear, clean & color some more outside. That simple theme seems to be a good solid one! I want to use my ozonator inside for a few hours at a time, now that its nice enough outside to lock the cats & i outside for part of the day. That will help with mold & certain toxins. Ive been doing walks where i envision each area being beautiful & filled with color, etc...its nice! ~☆♡☆~Love to you all!~☆♡☆~

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Do whatever you need to do to help change your outlook. (((HUGS)))

Still really cold but the sky is clear blue.
No plans to go outside today.
Today my plan is to clean up this dusty grubby house.
I'll start with the bathroom then sweep/wash floors & vacuum carpet.
I'll get fresh clean wash water & rag and go around and wash off/wipe all door knobs, light switches and everywhere else that could use a little cleaning.
Then I will start on getting out all the dust that has settled on everything.
I really hate housework but I hate this dirty house even more.
Will be so happy when I am done because then I can do something I enjoy doing.
Today I am grateful that this house is so tiny. ;D
Living in a tiny house everything gets dirty, cluttered, dusty & grimy faster than in a large house but it can all be cleaned & tidied up in just a few hours.

~Good afternoon & coffee clinks!~
Its everything i can do to not sink into a bitter state of depression. There is a certain point when it cant just be random any more, where this obvious pattern needs to be recognized. I just dont know what to make of it.
As far as bleach, i know it is what everyone uses, but i dont like how toxic it is & that it needs to be washed off with soap & rinsed, whereas peroxide doesnt & is not toxic at all, and cleans almost as well.
My only idea or plan for myself is to do what i did coming off the hormones, and that is microbe therapy by walking barefoot in my yard several times a day, allowing the healthy soil & earth grounding ions to help ground me~ I am 'asking' the Universe what im suppose to learn or do. If this property doesnt want me to build, id like to know why & i still will be bringing & expanding LOVE & LIGHT to it until i get an answer....☆♡☆

~Good afternoon & coffee clinks!~
Its everything i can do to not sink into a bitter state of depression. There is a certain point when it cant just be random any more, where this obvious pattern needs to be recognized. I just dont know what to make of it.
As far as bleach, i know it is what everyone uses, but i dont like how toxic it is & that it needs to be washed off with soap & rinsed, whereas peroxide doesnt & is not toxic at all, and cleans almost as well.
My only idea or plan for myself is to do what i did coming off the hormones, and that is microbe therapy by walking barefoot in my yard several times a day, allowing the healthy soil & earth grounding ions to help ground me~ I am 'asking' the Universe what im suppose to learn or do. If this property doesnt want me to build, id like to know why & i still will be bringing & expanding LOVE & LIGHT to it until i get an answer....☆♡☆

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Subclinical :)
Great idea to try not talking negatively to yourself.
Think of some positive things to repeat to yourself to drown out those negative voices.
I am very happy that you know your limits as to how many animal friends you are able right now to care for. ;D
You are a great caretaker of the ones you have and doing it right, so it takes a LOT of effort, time and energy.

Quiet morning here.
Chilly but clear skies until later today.
Nothing planned for today.
Thinking about sorting through all my Summertime dresses because soon the weather will warm up enough to start wearing them again.
When I put them away last Autumn there were a few that I was on the fence about keeping.
I really liked them but thinking maybe they are ready for the burn barrel, too worn out.
I hate when a favorite something gets worn out but must look to the future when I will have a new favorite something. ;D

Hi porter!

Anony, I really hope you feel better soon. And that your house gets clean. You deserve a nice, safe place to live!

Tillie, I also have a cat (indoor/outdoor "working" cat who does a moderately good job on the mice) and a rabbit (English angora, for spinning)

I would like to have more rabbits, but I am not ready for them yet either.

The ducks will stay with me and go back and forth to school for a few more weeks. They are still very cute, but I think I will get my duck fix.

I am behind on my garden already, and my weight is creeping up. I am trying not to talk negatively to myself and to just start from where I am today.

Hi Mar :)
One of the worst molds is called "Black Mold".
That stuff makes people living in a house with it very ill.
The mold gets in their lungs and just ruins their health forever.
Many houses get this mold in hidden areas like behind the wallboard or under the flooring.
I do not know how to identify this type of mold but I'm sure there is somewhere on the internet with that info.
But it takes a professional mold remediation company to completely and safely remove it.

About my "garden"
It's a very small section of the property, like the postage stamp on an envelope.
The rest of the property is derelict vehicles and a whole lot of hoarded junk.
My garden area is like a tiny peaceful oasis in the middle of chaos. :)

Hello Everyone :)

HI PORTER! :D
Thanks for the drive by.
WAY TO GO!!! for putting in the time to keep up with everything.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
What I like about bleach is that it is a good disinfectant that does not make germs resistant to it like any antibiotic disinfecting cleaner.
Then, after it's been used it degrades into simple harmless salts that doesn't even hurt grass or plants.
I use peroxide to disinfect my toothbrush and bite guard so I don't end up re-infecting myself and I use peroxide to clean the area around cat abscesses.

Well, the gardening went well and was very satisfying.
Took me an extra half hour to complete because the Sheriff stopped by to chat.
He's a very nice person and an excellent Sheriff.
When I was done & back inside I was starving and made myself some lunch.
Soon as I rest up I'll shower & shampoo.
The wind is starting to pick up and clouds have blown in. It's getting chilly out there.
So now I am all up to date with my gardening have-tos, things that must get done in a timely manner. ;D

Just a check in.
weight still in 220s barely.

still spending about 7 hours a week keeping on top of everything.

~♡~Coffee clinks to all!~♡~
Ive been reading up on using peroxide instead of bleach, since i do not like bleach at all, and even tho it is controversial, i still feel MUCH better about peroxide. I have a mask that i wore when i was loading up old fiberglass panels a few years ago. I know there are different kinds. My friend who is a health nut(raw vegan) and cleans houses for a living, says she sprays water mist before dusting. I think i have freaked myself out over everything at this point, including my garden dirt. I dont want to become afraid...just balance safety, somewhat. My main safety plan has always been just to have a strong immune system....tho, it was strong when i got this sick....part of me is tempted to hire Steri-clean, if i could afford it & they wouldnt spray anything toxic?

~♡~Coffee clinks to all!~♡~
Ive been reading up on using peroxide instead of bleach, since i do not like bleach at all, and even tho it is controversial, i still feel MUCH better about peroxide. I have a mask that i wore when i was loading up old fiberglass panels a few years ago. I know there are different kinds. My friend who is a health nut(raw vegan) and cleans houses for a living, says she sprays water mist before dusting. I think i have freaked myself out over everything at this point, including my garden dirt. I dont want to become afraid...just balance safety, somewhat. My main safety plan has always been just to have a strong immune system....tho, it was strong when i got this sick....part of me is tempted to hire Steri-clean, if i could afford it & they wouldnt spray anything toxic?

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Yeah, getting sick can just happen to anybody at any time no matter what we do to keep healthy (((hugs)))

My plan for today is to get outside around 10:00am and do some raking out of leaves in the rhubarb and wild rose bed when it warms up.
Need to re-rake some leaves out from under the lilac hedge too.
Then treat the two Ash trees with "Bayer" tree & shrub protect & feed to keep those nasty boring beetles away from them.
Only thing I have found to prevent that leaf curl.
Then I plan to spread a bit of steer manure around to make all the garden plants big green & happy.
After all that I will need to shower & shampoo.
The gardening should take around 2 1/2 hours and working outside will help my cabin fever/Spring fever. ;P
Not supposed to rain today until later on this afternoon and temperature should get up into the 40s.
It's almost 9:00am right now so that gives me plenty of time to finish my tea and get dressed.
Also, Mr. Cottontail is still out there, by 10 he should be off to bed. ;)

Thank you, Tillie! Ive been really thinking through how i could have gotten this sick & i dont think the tiny bit of clearing of the things off those shelves couldve done this. Then i started thinking maybe its Valley Fever, which is a kinda local thing from spores in the dirt, which ive been starting a new garden? But its more likely i just got a bad flu that wasnt some kind of curse, but i just got sick at the worst possible time, even tho i did absolutely everything right to be strong & ready for the workshop. Maybe. Im exhausted from trying to understand all this. Its just the overall constant barrage of barricades to making real improvements on my place. It honestly makes no sense to have been like this.

Any mess can be cleaned safely.
Some need professional cleaning by a properly trained crew with the proper protective equipment.
That's what Steri-Clean is.
But not all messes need professional cleaning crews, they just need people to use the proper procedures and wear the proper protective gear.
Not all face masks are good enough to protect us so we need to pay a little more and get the masks that will.
Clothing needs to cover us properly.
Long sleeve shirts, buttoned up. Long pants, denim is good.
Shoes are very important, no sandals or flip flops.
Thick gloves are needed at times and rubber gloves should be worn at all other times.
In a dusty area or an area with any animal or human waste, spraying to moisten and keep down the dust with a solution of 50/50 water and bleach is best to keep dust down.
Sweeping is better than most household vacuums to put less dust into the air.
I spritz down the garage floor with bleach water before I sweep because people very near here have died from hantavirus.
Common bathroom mold can be cleaned with a bleach product but there are other types of mold that should only be handled by professionals.

Hoarded areas get dusty, it's just a fact of life.
Rodents, insects and mold like to live in places with lots of dark hiding spaces that go undisturbed for a long time.

Did you know that not all bleach kills germs?
Read the labels. Some of the newer scented bleaches do NOT disinfect.
Make sure the label says it will kill 99.9% of germs & viruses.

Hoarding is hazardous to our health in so many ways.
Our homes can, do and will make us sick.
Fires in hoarded homes kill many people every year.
How many injuries have you all had due to the excess clutter?
I have had many.

This isn't just about having a clean home.
This is all about keeping us all safe and healthy along with eliminating some of the emotional/psychological issues caused by living in a hoarded house.
(((HUGS)))

Tillie, i do wonder about stirring up the mess in here. I know this flu going around is really bad & that could be all this is, but it being so much in my chest is kinda what got me thinking of something i breathed in. I hardly moved stuff around, tho. If that did make me sick, there is no question that i would not live through cleaning this place....great....maybe thats why i cant seem to do it? Maybe its some inner knowing........

Hello Everybody :)

Hi Subclinical :)
WAY TO GO!!! for resisting the cuteness and only buying the two needed ducklings. :D
Great that you can put what you already have to house them to use.
Do you have any other animals besides the goats and chickens?

Hi Tatoulia :)
I find it satisfying too to also just put something in my shopping cart in RL or online.
For a brief time it's mine and that's enough, I can put it back or delete it.
Costs nothing, no return charges. ;)
So sweet that you brought your Mom daffodils and stayed there a little longer. (((hugs)))

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Did you get the flu virus going around this year?
I did and it was a very hard virus to deal with.
And it has left me with a bad cough, sinus infection, exhaustion and thrush to this day.
That flu totally messed me up and leaving lingering after effects.
(((HUGS)))

Checked the weather report this morning, no rain until tonight so I washed all the dirty laundry.
Then I scrubbed, scoured & sanitized all the litter boxes and refilled with fresh litter.
Then I did some cooking, used up some more pantry supplies.
Then cleaned the kitchen, again.
Laundry dried so I folded it all and put it away.
Got lots of other stuff done too.
It was a very good morning. :)

Anonymoniker
You have a lot of wildlife roaming freely around there.
Many of these creatures carry pathogens that can be passed onto humans.
Example, the hantavirus is in rodent urine.
When the urine dries out it mixes freely with the dust.
We stir up the dust and the virus becomes airborne.
Without wearing a good quality face mask, we then can and do inhale the virus.
Many people have contracted hantavirus this way.
Some recovered but many have died.

So yes, that long standing dust may have made you sick with some kind of pathogen.

Mold also sits idle in dust until it finds a warm moist dark place to begin to grow, like our lungs.

Anybody anywhere disturbing any dust really should be wearing proper masks.

~♡~Thank you for you concern & well wishes everyone!~♡~
Ive been trying to figure out how i even got this sick? The thought that it could be from stiring up old dust while cleaning the bathroom shelves is a very disturbing idea, for obvious reasons. This thing started off with a LOT of sneezing. Can old dust do that???

Good work on resisting the urge, SubC. I have been resisting buying stuff (not farm animals) by sometimes handling it and carrying around in store before putting it back. Or putting in my online shopping cart then later deleting. the time allows the rush I get from finding something cool/pretty/cute to pass.

Tatoulia, I put off jobs like that all the time, and then they become so big in my mind.... at least it isn't the scrubbing you avoid. If you avoid sweeping it only takes a tiny bit longer, but scrubbing can get really bad. (I know!)

Yesterday I bought ducks for my classroom. The plan is that the ducks will visit the classroom for a while so we can learn about them, and then they will go live on another farm (not mine) with some other ducks.

They are so adorable! It was horribly tempting to buy more ducks and keep them, but I only bought the two minimum required. I have already told the other farmer she is getting the ducks. Hopefully I will be over them by the time they are ready to go so I am broken of wanting ducks. I do not need the complication of ducks in my life right now.

In other news, I am using equipment I already had, so I only bought ducks and duck food.

Anony I love you too. I will call Cory on Monday and work with him to get this back to being mobile friendly.

SubC You are such a wonderful person. I bet it wouldn't take even 10 minutes to properly sweep my floor. On the plus side I was very happy with a clean tub today. And I'm glad I'm keeping up with the sink and vanity.

Tillie I bought my mother 30 daffodils today and dropped them off tonight. I was hungry & tired as it was 8PM. So I decided to eat my sandwich st her house in order to stretch out the visit.

I will talk to you all later. Anony we are standing by your side and shoring you up.

Oh Anony, I am sorry. I really understand how that feels. I wish I could reach down and pull you up. :(

~Greetings & coffee clinks!!!~
I wish i had some cheer to spread, but i have been really fighting not just a sinking depression, but deep anger, as well. Ive tried to figure out what i did to get this sick right before this workshop. I sure hope it was not brought on by dusting over the toilet?! If that is the case, ill never live through cleaning this place. I dont even care about anything anymore. Whatever forces are at work, have beaten me down....
As far as this thread being too long to read, its still not back to being mobile friendly, so it doesnt matter, at least not yet?
~♡~I love you all very much!~♡~

~Greetings & coffee clinks!!!~
I wish i had some cheer to spread, but i have been really fighting not just a sinking depression, but deep anger, as well. Ive tried to figure out what i did to get this sick right before this workshop. I sure hope it was not brought on by dusting over the toilet?! If that is the case, ill never live through cleaning this place. I dont even care about anything anymore. Whatever forces are at work, have beaten me down....
As far as this thread being too long to read, its still not back to being mobile friendly, so it doesnt matter, at least not yet?
~♡~I love you all very much!~♡~

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Subclinical :)
WTG! for working on the laundry. :D
Sorry your cheese didn't work out as you wanted but ricotta is good too.
Must have ricotta to make lasagna or stuffed manicotti.
I like that our property taxes too mostly go to the schools and volunteer fire department.
Some years back we were able to vote in a property tax "cap" in our county, which is mostly farm land.
We also were able to vote in that they would not be able to collect taxes on old impoverished people and auction off their homes making them homeless.
There are a lot of oldtimers here struggling to get by now that they are no longer actively able to farm & ranch and have sold off their fields and livestock just to survive.

Rain, rain & more rain since last night.
The apricot tree is real pretty in bloom now.
Daffodils have their heads weighed down, heavy with the rain water.
Hyacinth is a blooming pink beauty.
Today I plan to do a little bit of cooking and then clean the kitchen, again.
Been keeping up with my clothing laundry by hanging it on the rack or hangers in the house.