This is so profound, SubC! I love the thought of fixing ME, not the house. I never thought about it quite like that but it is so true. And, I totally get the 'decision' part, too. Like the dog toys. I have a real attachment to every dog toy, especially ones that used to belong to my heart dog who passed away. My current dog inherited a lot of her toys because she never destroyed any of them. But he is rougher on them and sometimes takes out the insides. But he still plays with the ratty things so I have a hard time tossing. But he has like 30 toys in a basket in the living room, maybe more, plus I have 2 bins downstairs for later use. So when I tossed the 2 ratty ones it was a decision. I've been considering getting rid of them for weeks, but finally did it.

Two ratty dog toys, into the trash.

487/1000

2.

Not going to explain everything because the last explanation almost sent me back to rescue the bow from the trash. I didn't. A little stronger every day.

Lila, you are getting there! I am pulling for you to hit that halfway point!

Before we went on vacation I looked around and decided that I probably need to get rid of 25% of the stuff in this house. Some rooms only have a few extra things, but others could cut down 50% or more (looking at you basement, spare bedroom)

So, as I cut down, I am going to try to balance everything in with something out. I think this will discourage me from bringing things in (do I want this enough to get rid of something else?) and also help keep me from just churning.

Here are my rules - the items out do not have to be the same type or size, but they have to leave AFTER I bring the new thing in. - since I am already over capacity I cannot keep a buffer of things I already got rid of.

The things have to involve a DECISION. So, for example, when I worked in the basement this morning, I gathered up an entire paper grocery bag of recycling. None of that counts, because I just picked it up and thought "recycling." Boom. The same way you would pick up a fork from the dishwasher and put it in the fork drawer (assuming you are at a point in your life where forks have an actual designated space with enough room for all of the forks).

But, I also put a smashed and tattered bow into the trash bag. That counts even though it is a very small item, because it was hard for me to accept that the bow could not be reshaped and reused, or used for a craft of some sort (probably could, but I don't need it or know anyone who might) or even recycled. Trash is my biggest, hardest area. So the labor that went into that bow was a far bigger step than when I donated the twin bed. And really the thing I am fixing here is me, not the house. If I fix me, the house will be easy.

So - tally in yesterday 15, tally out 1 ideally I will get to all 15 today, but 15 is a lot.

Another old, thin, raggedy towel into the donate bin!

485/1000

One old threadbare green towel with a hole in it, into the trash. I normally donate things like this to the animal shelter, but ex left it dirty on his floor and then broken glass got on it and I just did not have the energy to wash it or anything. Out it goes.

484/1000

Old bottle of spray ex kept around, that doesn't even work anymore. Five containers of old lotions and stuff that are very old.

483/1000

One old disgusting pillow from ex's hoard. Really it was mine a long time ago and he 'rescued' it, so out it goes.

477/1000

Yesterday I put a new pair of cotton gloves into the donate box.

476/1000

Moving blanket that the cat peed on when he got accidentally locked in a room - gone to the trash.

475/1000

Ten bottles of old, expired lotions, sunscreen, etc from the ex's left-behind hoard.

474/1000

Took to thrift store today:

2 clear plastic magazine holders
1 Kaffe Fassett coffee table size book about his quilts
2 cookbooks
1 bundle fusible fleece
4 plastic plates
1 funny coffee mug
1 bag of craft pompoms

Total: Approximately 2 cubic feet

I pulled everything out of the top shelf in the closet, sorted, dusted the shelf and found 6 old cleaners/bottles of stuff to dispose of.

464/1000

2 expired bottles of vitamins from the closet, in the trash.

458/1000

I sorted the very cluttered hall closet and threw out 35 items: old lotions and toothpastes and bug sprays that were all dried up, old deodorant that is so ancient it is dried out and has no smell left, lots of little sample sized things that are so old they separated in clumps... sheesh. I hoarded them over a decade ago because I was afraid I would need them. Also donated one metal hand soap container.

456/1000

Donated a cabinet lock and a ceramic statue.

420/1000

Today I discarded 8 home covid test kits. I was saving them because I thought maybe someday they would be worth some money, various kinds of unused covid tests as 'pandemic collectibles.' But my sanity is worth more than that, and I trust God will provide what I need.

418/1000

Today's use it or lose it - three semi-finished pots. Took them to class to experiment on. Two came out really well, one I gave away because I didn't like it and the other person did.

hi CM! Nice to see you on the Tally thread, but I think you meant to post on the other one! Come post again soon!

hi SubC. You're doing great! :)

Today I gave a neighbor 15 VHS tapes - kids' movies!

410/1000

CM, it is good to see you, but I think you might be posting this on the wrong thread. Lol!

Lila, you are cruising!

My school makes a lot of use of the "crayons to computers" free store, so thank you on behalf of whomever will get your supplies!

My "use it or lose it" for today - one tube of nearly empty lotion- used it up on my skin and rinsed for recycling. Conditioner in the shower that I don't really like - decided I will use it anyway so am using it up before going back to the leave in conditioner that I prefer.

Hope everyone will be okay, and able to enjoy whatever is comforting about the holiday and maybe a brief diversion from the heavier stuff. It's been pretty hot here. A change is coming later in the week. I'm going to butcher the watermelon soon, and sit out and watch the fireworks that neighbors will inevitably be shooting off. They are impatient, starting up even though it's not dark. If I spent money on fireworks I'd want to get the full effect.

Roommate and I are trying to brainstorm solutions to things like overscheduled time, cluttered house, time management (me primarily on that one), chronic joint pain flare ups (roommate), and so on. Hard to believe we'll be coming up on a year she's been retired, in mid September. It takes a year to see how things jibe, what with changing seasons and daylight savings and holidays and many other things, to see how everything coordinates together, what flows vs. where the logjams occur. Maybe the next year will be more efficient. I hope. These summer nights end up seeming endless then ending in a scramble to get meals and pet care and showers and whatnot and get each to bed at a reasonable time.

I've been in touch via Facebook messenger with my old college friend I met during orientation in a randomly assigned small group - we discovered we were both creative writing majors and became immediately thick as thieves. Then she ended up in other parts of the country, and I was going through various tribulations and didn't always get time to write. Anyway, it's been fun to reconnect and hopefully it'll be a boost for each of us. I bought that nice laptop almost a year ago too, and I want to do so much more with it. Plus roommate and I have a few more digital art classes coming up this month.

Well, I better go check on my watermelon. ?

Continuing to chip away. Two books, a magnet, and a sunrise alarm clock donated.

395/1000

Found a box in the garage, full of new school supplies. Kept a few for art for the grandkids and donated the rest. Also a frying pan and a wall hanging with hooks. 44 items total! ( counted a bag of pencils as one item, a box of pens as one item, etc).

391/1000

From the garage, donated: a small carpet cleaner for spots (I have a newer, better one now) and a set of pet stairs (too narrow and I have a wider set now).

Look! I have passed a third of the way to a thousand items gone!

347/1000

One shirt, into the donate box.

345/1000

Donating: a small flag pole. Thrown out: two little tins of hand cream that are old and smell stale, 2 Styrofoam tubes I was saving but really have no use for.

344/1000

Putting this here so as not to clutter up the other thread.

I just posted I got rid of a dog toy and a clothing item.

I started to sort my drawers of dog supplies. It became overwhelmingly painful. Most of the stuff in there belonged to my beloved heart-dog, who passed away two years ago in a terrible way. As a hoarder, I had saved every puppy item and things from various dog events we went to together. Back when I had money and spent a lot on dog items. I saved everything for future dogs. But every item is a reminder that SHE IS NOT HERE. SHE IS DEAD. SHE IS GONE. It is more heart wrenching than any other dog, cat, pet I have ever lost and more painful than some humans I have lost. I don't know if I will ever get over losing this one dog, in the way I lost her. I still feel like I am going to have a panic attack when I think about it. I am crying right now. I have, many times, gone to a place no one could hear me and screamed and screamed into a pillow or a sweater or a blanket, screamed over and over because of the pain of her loss. I have never done that over a person. I don't think I will ever get beyond it. So I stopped looking in the drawers because it was beyond painful. I thought I might have a panic attack. I want to scream GIVE HER BACK, I WANT HER BACK. It's not fair. It's really not fair the terrible way I lost my very best dog, and no dog can ever replace her in any way or ease this pain.

As I was sorting, I noticed I have several very painful things in my bedroom. A stuffed animal that my best friend D.'s sister gave me after his funeral, which he and I got at a concert together. A stuffed bear my beloved dog used to carry around. A statue my other best friend K. gave me before she died from cancer. A puppet my father gave me as a child; he has been gone for more of my life than he was in it. It is all just too much. I put some of it in the closet where I won't see it as often.

But it feels like those things are my last connection to those people, and that dog. They are so gone that the space they left in my life is agonizing. And I believe in an afterlife. But they still feel so entirely gone and absent, with not a trace of them left. Not a sense of them 'watching over me' or a dream of them that seems real or a hint of them anywhere in my life but in those things. They took up huge space in my life which is now a vacuum of nothingness. The only tangible proof they ever even existed are those things. I wake up in the morning and see those things and think, They were real. And they are gone now.

A lot of my hoarding is like that. I have more loved ones gone than I have left alive.

Chipping away at the stuff...

1 clothing item and 1 dog toy, gone.

339/1000

4 clothing items donated and one bottle of cleaner I hate the smell of tossed. I forgot to mention some of the items donated in the last box included some wall hangings, a storage basket, and some little kid boots. Those were already tallied.

337/1000

This morning I went in the garage and consolidated donations in a box. Then I went into a large bin I have downstairs of clothes that are too small for me. Some new with tags. I was able to donate 10 items and throw away one. (I also gave a shirt to my kid and found 2 pairs of socks I can wear, but I am not counting those as they did not leave my house).

332/1000

oh, I forgot to answer about the tv. The one in their room would be in the living room now. Any of my other kids, that would be the consequence, absolutely. (Although none of my other kids ever had a tv in their room...) It is complicated when someone hates themselves and is self harming already. They regret it and apologized and offered to pay. I give them more grace than anyone else, because they are on the tipping edge of hopelessness all the time. Right now we are just trying to get them through the crisis and then, most likely, they can work to replace it.

In the meantime, I am driving to a lot of therapists and doctors and such, and learning to do without tv.

SubC, covid mask. I had quite a collection going on. Since the restrictions were lifted, I put most of them in a quart sized ziplock baggie in the coat closet, all washed. I donated maybe 5 or 6. The only time I use them now is if I go on an airplane, because sometimes I end up sitting near someone who is coughing and snotting all over the plane, and I feel better with a mask on... whether it helps or not. (Why are people so inconsiderate?)

Like Covid mask, or like sleep mask?

I hope that the person who broke the tv is now doing without tv. Not as punishment, but because actions have consequences.

I worked in the studio today. And the basement.

Yard - 1
Basement - 4
Porch - 2
Studio - 5
Barn - 1
Garden - 1

And technically the garden and barn because I put down more cardboard and manure, but honestly it didn't make enough difference to count. Maybe in the garden.

Garden - 2?

I am going in spurts today and need the "win" of coming here and posting what I have decluttered.
4 more bottles of partially used lotion/products
3 items donated: a jewelry pin, a new facial brush, and a cloth face mask (why is this hard when I have like 20 more?)


321/1000

Six partially used bottles of lotions, creams, and hair care items, some over a dozen years old.

314/1000

WTG SubC! Look at that inspiring persistence!

One large smart TV, only a few months old, taken to the recycle center. Inner screen destroyed. You may be able to guess who did that. I am not replacing it. Putting it behind me now.

308/1000

Studio.

Yard - 1
Basement - 3
Porch - 2
Studio - 4
Barn - 1
Garden - 1

Yesterday, studio

Yard - 1
Basement - 3
Porch - 2
Studio - 3
Barn - 1
Garden - 1

Worked on basement and studio.

Yard - 1
Basement - 3
Porch - 2
Studio - 2
Barn - 1
Garden - 1

Still making very slow progress, but keeping all other areas from getting worse.

Yard - 1
Basement - 2
Porch - 2
Studio - 1
Barn - 1
Garden - 1

Basically I have been all over the place the last two days making just small bits of progress anywhere.

Yesterday I worked on the yard and the porch and the basement.

So far today I have worked on the studio - moving out cardboard
The barn - cleaning out a stall
And
The garden - mulching an area that got overgrown and had not yet been reclaimed.

I will post two day counts at the end of today.

ugh wrong number, I shorted myself 100 items!

307/1000

Bottles of partially-full stuff that is really old and we never will use (cleaners, aerosol hair spray, personal care items). I did not count the empty, obviously trash bottles as I do not count trash in my Daily Tally. Only things I would normally keep/have kept/saved.

207/1000

1 big ugly dirty stroller gone! Someone gave it to me and when I saw how dirty it was I put it on my yard with a "free" sign on it. Someone grabbed it.

303/1000

Lost my count for the week - things happen, but today I worked on
The garden
The barn
And
The porch

New week starts tomorrow.

SubC, you are persisting!

I got my two days off and will be updating throughout! This morning I threw out 6 items which included 4 old, ripped dog toys that were probably smelly and had stuffing about to come out.

302/1000

Yesterday studio and yard - I planted some of the pussy willows.

Studio - 2
Yard - 3

Day 2, pottery studio work and planted the irises from my student.

Studio - 1
Yard - 2

New week.

At this point the garden is maintenance,so even though I pulled a few weeds. I am not counting garden work any more. Only progress, not maintenance.

Also, the work I did in the barn today was overdue animal care, I did it do anyth8ng that actually made the barn better, so I am only counting planting things in the yard.

Yard - 1

This week should be yard/barn/and studio focused.

Yard and garden today

Garden - 6
Porch - 3
Studio - 1
Basement - 3
Barn - 1
Yard - 1

And so ends week 2

Good choices!

I worked almost 7 hours in the garden (maybe more like almost six with breaks)

Garden - 5
Porch - 3
Studio - 1
Basement - 3
Barn - 1