My kids drink those la croix. I don't like them unfortunately.

I think the artificial sweetener messes with my metabolism though. And drinking the soda makes me feel full at the time, but keeps my stomach stretched out so I don't feel full as quickly when I eat.

I relaxed my guidelines while Dd was here this weekend, and ate several treats and a lot of good meals. Plus I didn't move as much because of weather and company. I bounced back up, but I am still down a couple of pounds. Back to it today.

Moderation in food and stuff are so similar for me - you have to have some of both, but both can quickly become too much of even a good thing.

It's a Bean day, so lots to do besides eat!

ugh, my scale went up.

SubC, I used to drink a lot of sodas, not even diet. Mostly Coke. I was almost 300 pounds, can you believe it? That has been a long long time ago though, almost 20 years. I am still over 200 but closer to 200 than 300! I don't look as much as I weigh.

Anyway I switched to La Croix sparkling water with no sweeteners at all. I have those when I crave soda, like, if we have pizza. It has no sugar and no artificial sweetener, just a bit of fruity flavor and carbonation.

I think the lemon bars, which are excellent and used up some lemons that were not looking great, are the reason for the uptick. But at least I only made a half batch (8 by 8 pan).

I had avocado toast this morning for breakfast.

I have made good food choices for three straight days. I had a salad and sweet potato fries at the restaurant last night. I avoided the school bake sale even though the cooking class contributed and the whole building smelled like chocolate.

I've been doing yoga.

The needle made it's first jump, but I think part of that is that with smaller meals and less frequent eating, my digestive tract is less full.

The impact on the house is not really notable yet, but on Thursday there was a break in the rain (it's been raining so much here, all my pastures are flooded) and I got out and set up a flower bed behind my "new" shed. That used up some of the cardboard that was leaning on the wall in the garage, and I cleaned out a stall.

I also moved my diet sodas up to the loft in the shop barn. So I have to walk out (in the rain, a city block) and climb stairs to get one. I was drinking too many.

I'm going to keep focusing on the "now".

This is great to read! You are doing good things, SubC. I love that you are doing something productive when you get the urge to snack at night. I will try that, too. I also try not to eat after 7 (heartburn). If I really crave something sweet at night, I have some "natural" hard candies in fruit flavors. A little sweet pomegranate or grapefruit candy (the size of a lifesaver) is often enough, and only about 25 calories.

I love oatmeal with pumpkin. It takes like pumpkin pie to me. This week I made a baked oatmeal because I have a lot of apples going soft. I diced them up and mixed with raw oats, a couple spoons of chia seeds, some almond milk, cinnamon and nutmeg, a little maple syrup, and a couple spoons of vanilla yogurt and 2 eggs. I made it a little soupy looking and baked it until it was firm. So then all week I could take a square of that, put it in a bowl and heat it up to eat. I added things to my bowl like walnuts, canned pumpkin, and pomegranate seeds or blueberries.

I am going to make broccoli soup today with Teen later. It will have fresh broccoli and onions, grated carrots, vegetable broth, some soy milk and real cheese. I might put spinach in my bowl before I ladle in the soup. I try to add more veggies to things.

I also need to steam a couple of artichokes I need to use.

I do love my pasta, SubC. I even bought some Vodka sauce yesterday. But I'll add veggies to mine and also a salad on the size.

I also fluctuate and am up a pound or two but hopefully that is just stress or whatever. I will probably go back down this week.

Yesterday I did yoga. I ate healthy food all day - fresh fruit, baked veggies, cooked whole grains and not too many nuts.

I have also started to try to declutter eating after 7 and evening snacking. Yesterday I succeeded in both. The after 7 is going to be a target, not a routine, because sometimes I don't make it home until nearly seven, and at least two nights a week Dh doesn't make it home until after 7. I enjoy having dinner with him, but I hate being fat - out of breath and in pain.

Tonight I will say no to pizza again. Dh will be sad because he likes our pizza nights, but pizza after 8 at night is just not going to work for me.

But here is a thing I did to leverage the not snacking after dinner - every time I started focusing on the urge to snack, I got up and did a thing. I glued the Velcro back on Bean's mushroom and put the glue away. I carried the empty jars down to the basement and put them away. I made a separate trip (stairs) down to the basement to put the egg carton away. I rinsed the cans for recycling.

So my body and my environment both benefitted.

I have discovered that I cannot make good decisions for a whole day. I can't lay out a plan and stick to it - by the end of the day I go off track. But, I can make good decisions for half an hour. Half an hour is enough. 5 minutes is enough. Because all I really need to do is make good decisions "now". Because everything actually happens in now.

I have a "landing pad" at the top of my basement stairs where I tend to pile stuff so that I can carry it all down when I go. Much more efficient than making all those trips. But then, a lot of time I just set the pile down on a surface in the basement because it goes too many different places. So I am not really being efficient. Also, I don't need to save trips up and down the stairs - I need the exercise!

There was a time when I was working on the basement when I set myself a goal like clearing an item out before I snacked. (I don't remember the exact goal.) I'm realizing now that that was a bad plan. Besides the fact that it didn't always work, I had committed to the snack. I was just moving it a few minutes. And now it had become more important because it was my reward.

Yesterday I made one good decision at a time. And this morning, instead of a scale needle that didn't budge and a counter that looked the same, I started my day with a scale needle that moved just a hair in the right direction and probably a whole square foot more of clean counter.

It's small, but there are 120 days until the end of the school year. It's possible that I could start the summer with shorts that fit and a clean counter.

All I have to do is keep asking myself 1) Do I really need food or have I eaten enough (so far) today? 2) What can I do instead?

The default "I have no motivation" answer to that second question is going to be - go upstairs and look around - if you don't see anything, go in the basement and look around. Then at least I did some stairs. Also I should see something. Also, I realized last night, at minimum, for a long time - I can dust.

Lila, that is a really impressive menu!

I would not have thought of putting pumpkin in oatmeal.

You eat a lot fewer grain based carbs than I do! (Bread, baked goods, and pasta are my downfall!) ask yourself what you want when you reach for cookies and chips. Salty? Sweet? Crunchy? Fat? Maybe you can come up with a list of healthier alternatives that satisfy those and plan them into your day.

Dh and I ate at home instead of going out before our date last night. I am now down 2lbs. Still not really meaningful - I fluctuate, so until I hit 5 I will just feel like at least I am not adding new highs.

I did not do yoga yesterday or today. I probably won't do it today, but I will get back to it tomorrow unless Dd and dgs spend the night. I am doing well on the nuts and have not bought more milk. I am thinking about adding not eating after a certain time at night. I've done really well not snacking while Dh and I watch movies, even though he snacks.

You said no to pizza and cereal. Both hard and good things! Keeping control over high density/calorie snacks is a good plan. I like your scoop method.

I worked so much the last couple days I ate less. So am down another pound. But today I have been stress eating. I will try to stop it.

I also went through the fridge today and looked at produce that needs to be used. So I am eating that stuff. So far:

Breakfast: oatmeal with canned plain pumpkin, a few walnuts, cinnamon, a bit of real maple syrup, some pomegranate, and almond milk. Coffee with Silk creamer.

Lunch: one medium yellow summer squash roasted with a bit of shaved real Parmesan and garlic salt. A small bowl of Brussel sprouts, halved and tossed in olive oil, salt, and pepper and roasted.

Snacks (where the stress eating began): 6 gummy worms, a few potato chips, about a half cup of sesame crackers and rice crackers mixed, another mug of coffee with Silk creamer but also sugar. Four small cookies that I don't even like (the kind that come in a Christmas tin). Then I took five fresh dates, cut open, inserted peanut butter and roasted peanuts, topped with melted chocolate and froze. I read online that this tastes like a Snickers. Nope, it did not, but it satisfied that urge. I could have just made two and it would have been enough.

Teen would like me to make some butternut squash soup for dinner so I probably will. The squash is cooked already and thawed from frozen. Easy soup. I might make a grilled Swiss, sauerkraut, and marinated tofu sandwich to go with it. Not exactly low cal, but I am hungry. Will drink water and eat fruit/veg if I get hungry before dinner.

5/20

Oh, I forgot the other thing - Dh has guitar tonight and offered to bring home a pizza (our favorite pizza place is right by his lesson.) I said no. We already had pizza this month and I feel like I can cook again.

- less money spent
- fewer calories/healthier food
- no pizza box to store in the garage until it warms up enough to lay mulch.

Two days of not snacking on cereal, and this morning I did yoga for the 4th day in a row.

Yesterday I skipped breakfast and had three "100 calories" nut packs for lunch/after school snack with plain, unsweetened tea. This made me realize how many calories of nuts I have actually been eating. I have salted almonds that I like to snack on. I buy them in bulk and usually keep a pint jar in the kitchen. Then I tend to snack straight out of the jar. So, I'm going to not refill the pint jar and when I want them, I am going to take a dedicated 1/4c measure down to the basement and just scoop out that many. - decluttering one pint jar from my pantry and helping my waistline. Then when the measure is empty, I will put it in the dishwasher. I will only use that container, so I will either keep up with the dishes a whole lot better, or eat a whole lot fewer nuts, or both.

I also cooked a healthy dinner last night. I was very hungry, so I ate too large a serving too fast and my stomach was uncomfortable. I also used too much tahini sauce. Next time I will use a small bowl and let the food hit bottom before I go back for seconds.

I am currently down one pound, which is really just noise. But I feel like I have made three good steps this week. (Milk, nuts, yoga) that might be enough to keep up with for a few weeks.

Good job, SubC! That is interesting about the milk. Ahhh, cereal is addictive! I buy cinnamon Life for Tot and Acorn but I love it, too. I eat it with almond milk. Acorn eats it dry.

Well the other day I weighed and was sad to see I was back to 2/20 pounds gone instead of 16/20. Regained 14 pounds since October, ugh.

Today I am down a bit.

4/20

Ok, good morning Lila! And anyone else.

Last night I decluttered the A2 milk carton from my fridge (full disclosure, I ate the last of it on a bowl of sugared cereal for dessert)

So, step one. I'm not going to buy more A2 milk. It is easier to have willpower in the grocery store. This will reduce my sugared cereal consumption and if I do eat it (I still have two boxes) I may eat less just dry, or almond milk (which Dh uses) has fewer calories. Also, I won't have to wash and recycle the milk cartons.

Step two - I did yoga yesterday. I am going to do yoga again now. That will be two days in a row. Poco a poco as CM says.

Well it's been over a month since I last posted. Three months ago I was down 15 pounds from my start weight. I have not been weighing, but I would hazard a guess that I have gained back ten or more of those lost pounds :(

I am so sad about this, and I feel fat and tired, my clothes are tight, and I am sure my health is suffering. I am going to use this space to make a few goals. I will weigh tomorrow morning and start from there.

- drink more water, plain tea, black coffee. I can add a little something to my coffee sometimes but will try to be mindful of what I really want instead of habitually adding stuff.

- STOP eating all this junk food! Don't buy it. And just because a friend or one of my kids brings over sweets, does not mean I need to ingest it.

- more fruit and veggies. more homemade

- stop spending money on fast food, pizza, and junk!!

- move more, stop laying around so much

- smaller portions of anything that is not a fruit or a vegetable

Good job!!! I don't know where I am at SubC. I have not weighed in about a month but I am probably up a few pounds from stress eating. Is there a way to convert this to stress decluttering? Or stress cleaning? I remember a young mom one time telling me that when she is stressed, she cleans, as that is something she can control. I have wished for this to be true for me for decades, but I have been unable to make it happen. Even trying to make myself "clean one thing" or "declutter one thing" before I can eat a snack does not work. I just get p'ed off and eat more, in defiance.

Anyway, I am on a liquid diet for a medical reason but will weigh myself in a couple of days after that is over. And I will attempt to shed any regained pounds at that point.

Thanksgiving knocked me back a little, but I am still practicing good habits. I'm trying to limit chocolate because of the migraines, but I'm also adding soy milk and dropping (reducing honestly) diet soda.

I'm back to only one pound over where I wanted to be on the 30th, but I expect the Christmas season will be difficult.

I keep reminding myself that the easiest place to make good choices is the grocery store, not the kitchen.

I am still on pace!

I'm decluttering a lot of stress this fall as well, which I think is also helping. Although aside from fewer work hours and commitments, a lot of it is out of my control.

Things like the zoning hearing being over and likely to go in our favor (one last hurdle, but Dh says it's a rubber stamp), my dad's heart surgery going well, the garden being frozen to death, (I did try to do a lot less canning this year), and my dd1 being in a relatively good mental space right now, have all helped and are all out of my control.

Otoh, I finally got vaccinated for shingles (off my list forever now), am prioritizing yoga and pottery (I don't snack in the pottery studio) and have decluttered eating before I am hungry in the morning and most of the wine I was drinking.

I gained back a pound, and I need to hit my goal this month. Working on it.

15/20

I have decluttered the idea that I have to eat breakfast early in the morning and am now eating breakfast on the way to school or when I actually get hungry (I almost never have lunch at school, so I have to eat something before classes start) I have actually lost some weight. In fact, if I continue at this pace, I will hit my goal weight by the end of the school year.

Lost some pounds while I was sick. Only 4 more to go to reach my first goal!

16/20

Down 2 more pounds since last time I weighed!!

13/20

Yay for another pound gone this morning, although it feels precarious and like it is an up/down pound... I do hope it stays gone.

11/20

oh FINALLY. A happy thing this morning, another pound down! Halfway to goal.

10/20

Okay, I am back to my low point. Let's see if I can hit 10 pounds gone this week.

9/20

I am not exactly sure where I am but I have bumped up a couple of pounds. When I eat badly, I might hop on the scale and sort of glance at it but not get a precise number (it is a dial). So I know it is up a bit but not all the way. I am still down between 6 and 8 pounds. I will get on it and start trying to get below that 9 pounds gone point.

I am doing pretty good but need to increase my exercise or even general movement. But I am down another pound, so am celebrating that.

9/20

SubC, keep at it! I was working on this for many months before the pounds actually started to shed. Maybe we are changing on the inside for awhile before the outside reflects the effort.

I went to a couple graduation parties, food-centered events, and ate lunches and dinners out with people this week. I made good choices: small amounts of 'indulgent' foods (like a slice or two of cheese on crackers, only a few chips if any - like 4 chips - and the rest raw veggies sticks, raw broccoli etc from the appetizer trays. Fruit where it was available. Small small amounts of anything that is not a fruit or vegetable. Like maybe 2 bites of potato salad.) Going out to eat I stayed vegetarian and since there were some sauces, cheese, etc involved, I only ate half the food I was served and brought the rest home where Teen finished it off. Lots of water.

Also have had little time for formal exercise so I am just parking a bit farther away and walking, and am trying to be intentional about walking a little faster and not sauntering.

Down another pound!

8/20

Hi Lila!

Nice job!

I feel like I've been doing pretty well on my food choices, but my weight won't budge. Maybe with time..

hi SubC!

I went up a pound and then started back down and today am at a new low. Will keep plugging along and trying to be more active as well.

7/20

Today's treat - low sugar chocolate cake.

Today's snacks - banana and almonds

(I did have egg salad for lunch, so mayonnaise...)

We did not do yoga because I woke up feeling horrid.

Today I limited my treats to a small serving of m&ms (around 1T) and one glass of wine with dinner. I snacked on a banana, some almonds, and some cherries. Dh made a really yummy sweet potato curry for dinner.

Lila, good for you for sticking with this!

Today I planned two snacks - a banana and two carrots to keep me from snacking on junk. It worked a little bit, but I need more snacks. I am a grazer.

Also salty things. I drank a lot of water today and sweated a lot and my body craved salt, but most of my salty things are high carb/high fat.

I was active most of the day. Dh and I took a walk around the property after dinner. Tomorrow we are going to try to do yoga in the morning - it has been a long time.

Finally. A new low. Teetering precariously between going back up, or down another.

6/20

I am up and down and up and down the same 3 pounds so have not cracked the barrier yet. But today started phentermine per my doctor. I hope to get past this stall in the next week.

5/20

Back to update. My weight went up a little and then back down, so I am still at 5 pounds down. Actually the scale this morning was every so slightly more than 5 pounds gone, so maybe this week will bring a new low.

5/20

Another pound off, eating a lot of vegetables and such. This is where I usually get stuck. Will it stay gone and keep going this time?

5/20

Doing better. Went for an actual walk this week. Eating more vegetables, saying no to junk more often, cutting back on sweets, down 2 more pounds.

4/20

May 1, I am still the same weight, but have hope to walk most days this month and I committed to not buying anymore junk.

2/20

Day 2 -

I am trying to go back to not eating after 7, not having junk in the house, and drinking water.

I also was prescribed phentermine and started taking a half dose yesterday. NOT the dangerous phen-fen.

I want to exercise but an so exhausted. I will try to walk today. I ate less yesterday, drank water, ate healthier and was on my feet a lot.

2/20

Time to get serious about this. My weight is affecting my health terribly and is also making everything else in my life harder. My goal right now is to lose 20 pounds. It's a start and I will feel much better. I weigh 245 which is terrible for me. I will keep a pound tally at the bottom of my post.

Today I will go into the kitchen and throw out a bag of gross convenience store candy that I keep nibbling on.

0/20 pounds gone

Oh dear Lila,

Do you like balsamic vinegar? Can you try buying healthier bread? Sometimes it just takes a lot of little steps.

I did not buy ritz crackers at the grocery store this evening. I find the not buying the things is the easiest disconnect. Then I have to eat the food I have.

I did buy lime juice and tonic water because Dd2 gave us the rest of a bottle of gin she had from a party. But Dh won't make he a gin and tonic because it is late and I have chores to do, that that got short circuited as well. (If I had the energy to make my own gin and tonic, I'd have the energy to resist drinking it.)

I did eat a not healthy box dinner that Dh made - and chase it with bread and jam.

More refocusing to do after we get Dd2 moved.

hi SubC, fancy meeting you here again!

I am trying to fix my health, still. Not been doing very great. Someone gave me more tomatoes yesterday. I've been slicing them and eating them on white bread with mayo because I love that, and they are the good, thick, really red eating tomatoes. Today I coated them in breadcrumbs and fried slices of them and they were so good. But that's not healthy.

I am going to do better. I have a knee injury preventing me from even walking or anything right now so it's discouraging.

I am very tired. Dh is working super late tonight so I was on my own for dinner, and the library program was fun, but it left me tired and I used up all my executive function skills making good choices about my house today and I came home late and ate half a box of ritz crackers with cheese and a glass of wine for dinner.

And now I am sorry.

Good morning.

Last night Dh stayed up late eating ice cream.

I resisted the urge to eat chocolate cake and had a peach instead. I am still working on getting enough sleep. I realized when I went to bed last night that that blanket in the corner was actually a mental tax on me at night. I think I need to keep working on my bedroom - it is not too bad, but my dressing table and dresser have stuff piled on them.

Good morning!

I read a book on healthy habits during vacation that included a section on weight.

One of the things it pointed out that influences your weight is cortisol (stress) levels.

For the first time, I actually lost weight on vacation. Yes, I was active, but also, I was so much less stressed. So one of the things I'm going to focus on going into fall is making decisions that lower my stress levels.

Obviously, de-messing my environment will help de-stress my life.

Today's decluttering my waistline activity - my classroom:
No snacks
Lots of stairs
Removing items from my home environment and returning them to my classroom where they belong.
Creating order in my classroom- where I will spend many hours this fall - label, label, label! Not being able to find things is stressful. Cleaning up like a crazy person at the end of the day is stressful. If the item has a clearly labelled home - the kids can put it back!

So, Lila, maybe you need some "do instead" goals.

When you are feeling miserable and sorry for yourself(understandable) you can remind yourself:

Instead of (insert unhealthy behavior) I will:
Pray over the things that are troubling me
Clean an area that in now ex free
Read (good change out for online shopping)
Pet the dog
Or maybe even Put on some music and sing, and if the other people in the house object I will invite them to sing along, help me choose some music with both like, or go outside.

I am having a lovely vacation so far.

SubC, you are doing great! I'm happy you shared.

What brings me comfort that is not eating or shopping? Huh... well let's see:

petting my dogs
reading
praying
talking to some, a very few, people
listening to music in the car

The car thing is weird. It evolved as an escape mechanism. My first husb was abusive and recent one was depressing. My fave comfort thing is to go through a drive thru, buy junk, go park somewhere, and sit in the car eating it and listening to the radio. No one to bother me. Felt like ultimate peace. Even now... no teen throwing things, no clutter to look at, in the car. I find almost as much peace just driving around singing to the radio, without the food... but gas is expensive. I can't put on the music and sing in my house unless no one is home. Thinking about this.

What else? I liked to take walks but I am always in pain. Going to the forest, but it is a few hours away. If I had $$$, I would have a cabin somewhere to go to for respites.

Cleaning. Oddly enough, I realize cleaning gives me comfort. I feel so good doing it. When I have the energy.

Today's food was not as good as I liked, but not terrible. I wanted chocolate bars but didn't.

Breakfast: coffee
Lunch: salad and half a veggie personal sized thin crust pizza.
Snack: there was a farm stand with home made huckleberry ice cream, so I got one scoop.
Iced tea.
Dinner is coming. I made meat for family but I am having the other half of the personal veggie pizza and an ear of fresh sweet corn. Maybe some watermelon.

I moved a lot of boxes today so that's my exercise.

Hi, I'm back (Dh is driving) so my challenge this week is going to be eating healthy foods and moving.

My mom is providing the "24 hour all you can eat dessert buffet" food is her love language snd she baked for the people coming, plus my brother and three teenagers who won't be there.

This morning we had breakfast with Dh cousin and I resisted pancakes - had eggs, fruit, and a small roll with coffee.

Lunch will probably be the apple provided by the hotel this morning, cheese I brought from home, and a squash biscuit - ditto. Not great, but not too bad. Dinner will be with my family. I'm hoping for a walk on the beach after.

Lila, how are you doing? Can you name three things that bring you comfort and make you feel good that are not shopping or eating?

Good morning Lila!

I hope you are enjoying your tea.

Gotta run, but I will cone back here today. Check in!

Hello SubC, sorry I abandoned you. I had a uti that was painful and other drama going on. I got down to a new low weight but then ate myself back up several pounds. Tonight I am really overdoing it. If I had chips I would be eating them. I had some Raisin bran, juice, some fresh fruit. I really want some potatoes. I don't know why I am so hungry.

I will start fresh in the morning with some tea or coffee. I feel best if I don't eat anything else until 11 or 12. Then something fruit/veggies, maybe some beans or hummus or wheat toast. Or oatmeal, yummy.

I hope you come and post too. Let me know how your eating is going! I really miss having a garden. What do you have growing now?

Ok, last night I finally made a good decision.
Actually, Dh made it for me.

We have developed a habit of staying up until ten or later. He watches videos and I surf online and we both snack.

Last night, he came in from the shop at 9:30 and I had just finished as much clean up as I had energy for. I said "I can't decide wether to go to bed or have a snack." And he said "let's go to bed." So we did. And I got 8 hours of sleep!

I don't like to go to bed without him because I can't fall asleep unless I am completely exhausted (I have rarely in my life slept in a room where I can't hear someone else breathing, and I think my subconscious relies on that for security). And he doesn't like it when I go to bed and leave him alone in the great room.

But I think this needs to be a new habit. Even if I bring a book or the iPad to bed and let him watch videos in bed (which he likes and I hate usually because I'm trying to sleep) I need to remove myself from the snacking zone - and try to get to sleep earlier!

So tonight's goal - in bed at 9:30.

Good morning Lila,
What's for breakfast?

Drink your water!

Good morning everyone else too.

I have so much healthy food pouring into the house right now, it should be easy to make better decisions.

Also I am home all day and there is lots of work to do outside.

I think I might be toning up a little, but my weight is not really moving.