Good morning,

Lila, that seems unfair to the dog. Like having a child on purpose when your partner doesn't want one and hoping they will love it when it is here.

I'm sorry about teen's caseworker. Document as much as you can in case things go back to court so you can appeal to the judge based on the conduct of the program vs. teen's conduct.

I think I may have solved the raccoon problem. But I filled the burrow entrance and something dug out last night - so is it the skunk after all? And if so, why have I not smelled any skunk smell at all? I will fill the burrow again. If it is the skunk it will give up eventually. I'm sorry because I like the skunk, but I can no longer have a burrow in my barn. Raccoons just have to ruin things for everyone.

The news on gs#3 continues to be encouraging. After the ultrasound yesterday they told Dd that if the current trend continues, they will probably delay the surgery until a month after he is born. That will give him time to grow and get stronger.

Now she is thinking about not taking her medicine though. She has another appointment about that on Thursday.

Bean and I had a good day yesterday. We signed up for the nearby small town library summer reading program (it is really good, but sadly the activities specifically for his age group are on Tuesdays - there are still a lot of multiage or independent ones though.) I also discovered by driving around through the area that has been getting some redevelopment (in this case that means empty historic buildings are becoming less empty and broken windows are being replaced, not the tear down/gentrification/McMansion issues other areas have - the cafe was closed. The sign on the door said "working on the farm") that the town has an amazing new playground. With a little free library! I'll be taking any children's books I clear out there from now on. We brought home nine new books that we can keep if Bean wants. So far the dragon one is definitely staying. Bean is really into dragons these days and when we went to sign up for the reading club they had a dragon book display and he wanted to check out all of them. I told him library books are for sharing and we could get two now and more later. He negotiated me up to three by choosing one that was not turned cover out and one that had another copy available.

I am going to refer to that town as "trainville" from now on, since the central area is an old railroad yard and station (part of the rail yard is now the playground) Bean has decided that since he will be here Mondays and Thursdays this summer, from now on Thursdays are trainville days. We will go to the library and the playground. If it is raining, just the library. This Thursday he has decided we will also bake bread and go to the farmer's market. (It is possible but unlikely that we will also pick up chicks. They ship tomorrow, but usually they take two days in transit.)

I have a lot to do today, but I am getting a slow start because I have been needing more rest.

Definitely time to get moving though.

Have a good day everyone! CM, I'm wondering what you are up to.

oh wow. It's too bad dh isn't interested. That would be so cool to have, and free! Maybe you guys could do a trial run... try the dog for a month or two and promise to rehome it if it is not a good fit.

I am trying so hard to force myself to do things.
-unpacked a few boxes of essentials that came in the mail
- put things away
- picked stuff up
- loaded more of the dishwasher
- read a book with Tot and fed her breakfast
- put a couple blankets into the hamper

I really ought to get to actual "work," Hmm. I will promise myself to get "work" done today after lunch.

Teen's new case manager is a real b word. And I am pretty easy going and tolerant. But the way they are treating us in completely unprofessional. Unfortunately, she has no supervisor. She IS the supervisor of the entire program. If Teen fails out of the program she will be back in court with charges. So I am trying to step in and help but this case manager is refusing to even cc me on emails or tell me when Teen has an appointment so I can get her there. Teen signed a release for this so it is not a privacy thing, it is just the case person being a snotty unhelpful person.

Lila, Dh wants a dog when he retires, but he wants a small dog to play with. I grew up with dogs, but dogs are a commitment. And you have to clean up the dog poop. I told Dh if we had a dog I would want a Great Pyrenees, but he thinks they are too big and too furry and wants an inside dog. My farm sitter knows where I could get a trained, adult, neutered male right now, for FREE because his people are retiring and selling the livestock and moving to an apartment.

Dh is not interested.

oh SubC, I am so sorry about the fox problem, and the chickens, and all of that. I hesitate to "jump in and solve," but I just want to mention, have you ever considered having a flock/herd guardian dog? A Great Pyraneese will love your animals, protect chickens and goats and anything else. They are outside dogs who sleep with the flock/herd and take great happiness in being with them as family. Gentle giants until a fox or hawk comes around, then they will stand guard and not let harm come to their charges. Even against coyotes. I love them.

I forgot about you having no trash service. I would have burned these... they were soaked in urine and interspersed with mashed-in feces. And as Tatoulia said, we have enough towels. This actually solves an ongoing problem of Teen just using towels and throwing them on the floor and never washing them. None of the towels were the newer, good towels. I told her and everyone else, I am not replacing the things that were thrown out. If anyone needs towels or sheets they can buy them and then find a place in their room to keep them. I am retiring from providing laundry service for other adults.

Today I am supposed to be working from home until a later meeting around 5pm. I am getting no work done. I have zero motivation or energy. I am forcing myself to get up and do little things.
- took items out of packing materials
- wiped counters
- unloaded and mostly loaded the dishwasher

Tot is about to come upstairs, so I will probably read her a story. Then will try to chip away at small tasks and get myself "into" my work mindset at least for an hour to get the essentials done.

My health is in such a sorry state that it is hard to get motivated to do anything.

Good morning!

It's ok Tatoulia. I don't have trash service, remember? I would have to bag those towels up and take them in my car an hour to the school dumpster - where I only have permission to throw away "a small thing now and then" or beg a friend or Dd to put them in their trash. Or burn them. I would default to washing.

Yesterday we went to church with Bean for his child dedication ceremony and then to the museum center. It was fun but tiring.

When we got home the fox problem had escalated. Clean up was discouraging. The chickens can't be out of their pen during the day any more. Which means they can't be out, because they won't go in in the morning, so I'm going to have to solve the raccoon problem (we're making progress) because penning them at night helps the raccoons. I reinforced the pen and managed to corral half of them last night. I'm down to 12 chickens. And no ducks.

I was very sad and I was looking at websites, thinking about getting new chicks (when school starts, as part of my class) when I stumbled across a great sale. I said to Dh "I guess this would be a bad time to order chicks." And he said "order whatever you want."

So now I have chicks coming at the end of the week. I guess they will start out in the garage and hopefully I can make the barn safe for them. He doesn't like to see me sad and discouraged. I hope this was not a mistake.

Bean again today.

I did finally plant the onions.

Hi Alanna, Lila, and CM!

Hello, hello.

Lila, I am glad (forgive me SubC) that you were able to throw out the towels. Why? Because I am sure you have plenty of towels. Towels are those things that I swear multiply if you aren't careful. Congratulations on finding your check! I know how frustrating it is to hunt for things. I did have a recent pedicure and it was very, very relaxing. Glad to hear you were able to get one so economically!

I'm sorry that Bean had a rough day, SubC. I am sure you were a safe place for him to land. Im glad daughter has good medical care and an excellent support system.

I spent yesterday antiquing with a friend. No purchases but I enjoyed the time out and about. No temptation to buy anything. Thoroughly enjoyable day. Today I went to grocery store, then did some laundry, talked with a friend who informed me that a mutual friend died on Saturday (mutual friend had stopped all treatment a few weeks ago). Then I went to a different grocery store to get some heavy stuff that I couldn't get earlier. Tmr I'll need to get cat litter.

Shout out to Alanna and CM!
So off to shower for me.

Hi Tatoulia!

Hi Alanna! Thanks for checking in! You have my sympathy on the grading.

Lila, I am sorry about the towels. I would not have been able to throw them away, so I would have found myself in the yard hosing off cat poop, and then running them through the washing machine.

Bean had a rough day yesterday and cried himself to sleep on my couch and I just let him sleep. He was so exhausted he peed - a lot. My ikea couch is currently disassembled and drying. At least it came apart to wash.

I'm glad you found your check and that you are planning things for you.

I went to DD's on appointment with her yesterday. The baby is doing well and the worst case scenario now is early but not premature delivery and immediate surgery. But so far that seems unlikely. On the advice of her doctor and the encouragement of her mother, Dd has decided to go on psychoactive medication. She has an appointment with her shrink on Monday to discuss it. I am hoping she won't change her mind. The ob offered to write her a starter dose yesterday so she could start taking it right away, which tells you where we are.

I still have a raccoon problem. And a fox problem. And it is becoming very discouraging.

My body is sore, tired, and fat, and despite limiting my to do list, "plant onions" has been on it for three days.

(Although yesterday saw the unplanned addition of "wash couch" and "pick blueberries" - my friend called to tell me they were ready and it is not an opportunity I pass up. I took her some cheese.)

Well I am back, to update and try to motivate myself to keep going.

Teen, against my direction, put a swinging door on the litter box without me noticing. Thus, the cat who was not understanding how to get in there, has peed and pooped all over the towels that were tossed on the floor. It is disgusting, the smell, omg. I knew Teen would melt down and rage if asked to clean it. So I got a bag and threw it all in there and took it to the trash. Then sprayed Pet cleaner on the tile floor to get the smell out. I am unhappy.

However I also sorted every item on the left side of my bedroom and I found the missing check! I deposited it. In the sorting of my room and the counter and my office box, I was able to throw out many pieces of paper and mail and such. And I donated a few items which I put on the Daily Tally thread.

I also washed:
- a load of my clothes
- a load of my jeans and my "nice" towels which I keep in my own bathroom
- a load of white washcloths which I bleached
- a weighted blanket, which cost a bundle and is not really supposed to be washed OR dry cleaned but Teen threw it in a pile of dirty clothes and it stinks. If it falls apart, it is trash, and Teen will have to buy herself a new one if she wants it. It is in the wash now.

I still need to clean up another pile which has a sheet and a blanket and, I believe, cat pee....

I hate that this is the state of things and it is not of my doing. But, it will not be the state of things for long.

I made it through a hard week! We decided not to do the huge event in 2 weeks because so many of my team are gone on vacation. We will do it next year. So very thankful!! I've been working on getting my only 4 events done for the whole summer, so that they are complete before I go on my vacation and I have nothing to worry or wonder about. There is a lull at work, a big lull, in August, and then things get pretty crazy in September. I NEED to be refreshed before September, so I am doing 2 things:

1. working hard now to get the pressing things done, and taking that 2 weeks off
2. looking over my entire summer schedule and choosing days I can easily take off or just work from home. If I work longer hours on the days I MUST work, then I can sometimes take an extra day off during the week. I am lightening my work as much as possible.

SubC, that is a very good point to schedule in things that restore/refresh me. Or else, the whole 2 weeks will be laying around, decluttering, puttering, doing stuff that needs to be done.

I think I will schedule in a massage - it has been years! And a pedicure, and maybe a trip to the Zoo with Tot. Some catching up with friends. You know, the other day I was thinking, I'd really love to learn to play the drums. It seems silly for a lady my age to be a drummer, but it appeals to me. I might schedule a lesson or two, at least to find out if it gives me joy and if I am at all good at it.

I caught up on all the posts. Alanna, I hope you finish the school year with a bang! I have a son graduating next week from college which will be fun. Tatoulia, I think it was you who mentioned a pedicure. I too got a pedicure last week for the first time in maybe a year. I took my dil for a treat. It was fun. I want to do it again by myself while I am on vacation in early July. They will be close together but I love the relaxation. I found a beauty school that does them for $15 including a nice foot massage.

Today is my only day off this week. So far I have:
- loaded/washed a few dishes so the sink is empty
- put my clothes in the washer
- took care of dogs
- put away/hung up stray clothes in my room (trying to keep on top of this)
- made a list of priorities
- took out a small bag of trash from bathroom and bedroom

I am super hungry and I have a lot I want to accomplish today. I'll check in later!

Good to hear from you, dear Alanna!!

Hey All :)

I am still here, just snowed under with grading and answering questions. My kids write their exam next week, so the questions have been coming in thick and fast. I'll catch up with posts when the grading is done.

Sending love to you all and thank you for all your kindness.

That sounds lovely, SubC!

Home, catching up on laundry. I actually managed to do all the other tasks I assigned myself for today.

I had a great time with Birdy and ds and ddil.

Also the time that Bean and his parents were there.

We hiked, ate out, Bean and I danced in the street to live music at a cafe one night, there was a lovely back garden at the air b&b, went to a wine tasting with ddil and had sone great conversation. Slept well. Gained a lot of weight. For souvenirs I brought home a bottle of port, a jar of jam, and photos.

Was in office today. Walked home - beautiful and cool. Cleaned cat boxes and took out garbage. Showered and have been scrolling on the phone. Not a bad day.

Shout out to Everyone!

That is sad about the young bunny, CM. We have a lot of bunnies in Boston and I've enjoyed seeing the baby ones out and about. The ransomware attack is terrible, CM. In my line of work, I have to interface when certain vendors of ours have a cyber attack. The situation is very interesting. There are all sorts of business who deal with the cleanup, including the forensics team that determines what may have been accessed, a different team that negotiates the ransom, another business works on the restoration, and yet another business notifies the affected individuals. We haven't had a vendor with an attack recently, knock on wood. This isn't my job, it's just evolved that I am one of the company contacts to deal with this if it's a particular vendor within my purview. What a mess.

So after my much needed pedicure and walk around the city, I came home and read for a while, ultimately taking a nap. Around 7PM I received a series of texts and it was a work colleague to say that he's at the Boston Pops with his daughters and that one of the people going couldn't make it. So I got dressed and was in Symphony Hall before the show started at 730. We had an absolute blast! So much fun!


Okay, time to do the dishes here. Kitties are fed and asleep.

Continued prayers for little guy, SubC; hoping this is a minor bump in the road that will soon smooth out and everything keep going well.

Tatoulia, I see residents too at the clinic where I go and they have done well by me. They have arranged my surgeries a few years back, they have a sports medicine guy for those times when I had tendinitis in my hand or some back/hip pain, etc. The current one will be leaving soon and I'll miss her even more because she saw me through the scary thing last fall that turned out okay but she was just so very kind. I think about maybe getting a doctor I can stay with year after year as I get older, but I've got time to ponder that.

Lila, I hope you really get to kick back and enjoy that vacation!

My city including the library is still recovering from a ransomware attack in early May that a lot of services have been taken offline while they deal with it. And we've had some storms. There was a cute baby bunny in the yard for several days but after the storm a week ago, when I came home from church Sunday I saw her dead near the porch. I wonder if she got hypothermia in the cold rain. Poor baby. There are only the adult rabbits out now. And a couple of nights ago a whole family of raccoons, which look cute in photos but in real life too close to home, scare me. And I don't want them harming the bunnies.

You can count on my prayers, SubC!

Alanna and CM, sending a quick hello your way!

I'm up early have had my coffee. In the AMs while the kettle is on the stove for my coffee, I unload the dishwasher. This is a habit I've developed over the years here. Now that my cabinets aren't over stuffed, this process takes about three minutes. Just sharing as I'm not sure if I've mentioned some of the habits I work on to keep the house presentable.

Going to hop in shower and start my day. I haven't had a pedicure in a very long time so I booked a restorative pedicure at a day spa. My feet are pretty gross.

This coming week is filled with appts. I have an eye appt on Tuesday. I'm hoping to get new glasses before I drive to VT to inter mom. Thursday is my regular check up. My doctor is leaving so I want to say goodbye. I have been with the same practice for over 30 years but I see the residents, so every three years, I have to say goodbye to my doctor.

Okay I need to get in the shower. I'll catch up with everyone later.

Good morning!

Lila, I am also glad you put in for vacation. Now block off some of that time for things that refresh you before it gets filled up with chores and other people. Last year when I was so burnt out, I blocked off a week to do nothing. I told Dh "I am busy this week. I don't know what I am doing, but the only thing on my schedule is my class wednesday night and don't add anything. If you need a haircut or something, it needs to be before Sunday."

I need to do that again. Also, I really want to go to the beach. I grew up spending summers with my grandparents who lived on a short street that dead ended at the beach. I miss the ocean.

But today I am going to go to a state park to spend time with two of my kids families. It was planned as a fun cousins vacation, but now Dd has to leave early for a check up on the little one she is growing. Last week's check was not good. Not scary yet, but not what we want. Hopefully the next one will be the same or better. If he can just stay out of the danger zone for two more weeks his prognosis improves.

Anyway, my house is still a mess, but I got a lot of the garden in and I am going to try to just enjoy my family. It will be good to be able to hold Birdy again. They video call, but it is not the same, and he is growing so fast!

Tatoulia, it makes sense that you are still tired. Grief is heavy. It will take awhile.

Ok, I slept late and need to get moving so I can actually get out of the house.

Congratulations on finishing the evaluations, SubC! Lila, I am so pleased you are taking vacation time!

I'm a little behind here at home. I didn't get the cat boxes cleaned this AM but I did get the garbage out. I'll clean the boxes now before hopping in the shower.

I am tired these days. That's okay, though.

I wore a new linen skirt today and I really like it. I have another new linen skirt and a pair of linen pants which frankly I have forgotten about because I asked my cleaners to hem for me and they haven't done yet. In fairness, I said no rush. The mother is a very good seamstress. She made my shower curtain and several pillow cases for me. Very very kind people.

So I will force myself to clean the cat boxes then hop in the shower. I have a pretty decent To Do list this weekend.

hi all, thank you for the nice words. I will try the thrift store next week. I desperately need jeans. I hate trying on clothes anywhere, even in my own house, but especially in a dressing room. I have terrible balance and it is exhausting.

I worked a lot, like excessively long hours this week prepping for 2 events coming up. I got a lot done. But have to work tomorrow (event) so am taking Monday off. And I put in for 2 weeks vacation starting a month from now. I need it.

I weighed myself today and am up 4 pounds which is distressing. I have skipped meals and then had to eat very late this week due to long hours. I need to remedy this. I did get on my exercise bike once this week for a bit.

I am going to try and work a lot less hours the rest of this summer. In the fall, it will be back to longer hours again. You can imagine what a mess my house is in, with me gone from morning til night, 3 kids and a pregnant dil, and not much cleaning going on. I need to hire a carpet cleaner, and I did pay my older son who lives nearby to come and catch the yard work up last week, mowing, pulling weeds, edging, and also walking and brushing the dogs. It was worth it... he needed some $$ and I would have hired a stranger because I was desperate.

I will catch up on the posts some more and see how you all are doing!

Where is everybody?

We solved the raccoon problem.
I planted more things in the garden
I froze the ice cream and I made chocolate sauce and the bread is in the oven, and the dishwasher, washer, and dryer are running.

I'm taking a short break and then I'm going to work on my messy house until the bread is done, because I looked away from the chocolate sauce long enough to label the lid and it boiled over (I cleaned the stove today too). I have visions of walking outside to get something and then seeing smoke pouring out of the kitchen window three hours later.

So, yeah. Sitting 20 feet from the timer cleaning out old class folders.

Good morning.

My evaluations are done. Written and turned in. A week early. Because Saturday we leave for a short vacation with Bean and Birdy's families and they are due the day after we get back. I now have three days to focus on the garden and getting things in order for the farm sitter.

Then when we come back I need to plan camp.

Today feels strange. It is technically my first day off of summer because I was teaching wed/Fri, but also it feels like Tuesday because I had Bean yesterday. I slept in.

There are 84 days until I go back to work. 5 of them are camp days. I should feel like I have oceans of time, but instead I am looking at all I have to do and thinking that there is no hope.

I know part of it is that I have really slipped in my diet and exercise choices and I am worn out from waking up hurting every day.

Tatoulia, I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you have Emiko to help you.

The rooster woke me up at 4:30. Let's just say my raccoon problem continues. My day is feeling overwhelming, but I am going to try to just enjoy my grandson. When I take him home I will stop at school to return some empty buckets I washed out, fire the kiln (I have at least three loads of tile projects to fire and add to the decoration on my classroom wall.) and pick up the laundry (my volunteer does not pick up the cleaning rags the last week of school.)

I did not do any evaluations yesterday, so now I am "behind" which is making me want to do them even less. I need to just get them done and remove a source of stress.

My hip is better (just sore) today.

I have the litter boxes clean and the recycling taken out. Met with a girlfriend today and we walked around Boston.

I now remember what friend took. She took two of my mother's antique botanical prints, an oil painting I bought at auction, and some stamps I had framed for my mother. So that was good.i was up all night worrying and eventually vomited.i was worried about what to do with mom's interment and I do want Emiko to go with me. Someone else can take care of the cats.

Our ultimate plan, BFand I, is to retire in Paris or London. I will need the public transportation. The Greece house is just to give us a place to meet up since it will be very close for him and not too much for me plus we will have friends next door. I will not end up where he is. He is adding two bathrooms on his house in the next two weeks. He is having a blast. But for a lot of reasons, I will need to be in a city. Of course, this is all a leap of faith on our parts.

Alanna, only your husband knows if he's serious. He is telling you the hoard is too much. How can we best support you? Do the important things first: grading papers. See if you can keep up with making the bed each day. If it is too difficult, figure out why and get rid of the throw pillows or cut down on the layers or whatever it is that makes having a made bed a chore. You deserve a made bed. When I used to dread emptying the dishwasher, it turned out to be because I had no place to put my dishes. So I got rid of stuff in the cabinets. It hurt. But I did it, and all these years later, I stand ready to edit down my cabinets at a moment's notice.

I do not let any coffee mugs, water bottles, yeti cups, etc into my house. I receive a huge number of them. They are not allowed in. I don't use them and I don't want them. So I donate them in their unused state or I put them in a common area at work to let someone else grab. Sometimes stopping things at the threshold is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.


Tiny hints.

Popping back to talk to Alanna.

Alanna, we can only see your relationship through your words, so I know we only get little moments and that things change. Only you know how serious he is, but I would definitely be concerned about having a baby with a man who thought it was ok to threaten to leave me.

Also, you will never have more time than you have now. Does your Dh do some of the cooking and housework? Do you both work full time? Maybe you could make a schedule together and block out time for you to work on the hoard. That might mean you dehoard while Dh cooks dinner or something like that. I don't know what your days look like.

I also really think it would help if you could trust Dh to handle at least sone of the trash. But I understand if trusting is hard right now.

Dd and dsil dropped Bean off tonight. Dh told them we cleaned out the garage without fighting and Dd was shocked.

Ok, chores, shower, and I haven't done today's evaluations!

I am takin* a break. Dh is mak8ng me clean out the garage. He is being very sweet and kind and helpful and understanding, but it is still really stressful.

Some of the things I want to keep are having to go in my garden shed, which is making it cluttered and messy. But also he has moved everything that isn't light (my hip still hurts a lot Alanna, it will get better, I am just not as young as I used to be and sometimes I forget.) and he hung a rack on the wall for me and he hung my chime in the yard and he cleared off a shelf for Bean's toy trucks and chalk and bubbles.

Tatoulia, will you ever live where bf lives? After you retire?

Alanna, I am so sorry about your Dh and the fighting. I have more to say about that, but i don't want my Dh to get tired of waiting for me to come back.

I have not finished my evaluations. Only the ones up through yesterday. I made a plan to do a few each day and be done on Wednesday.

Gotta run!

Hey All

Thank you so much for your love and support and sharing, I really appreciate it.

After a long fight with Dh yesterday I was granted a reprieve on the junk. But I want to organise a bag each day this week (as well as do a load of laundry each day) so that I make progress. I'm emotionally spent after the fights, and Dh is threatening to leave. :'( (I understand that the hoarding is frustrating for him but I haven't had time to make progress with all the grading that needs to be done, and he just says that that's an excuse and life is always going to be hectic. But yes, makes it very difficult to work on the hoarding with the added fear of him leaving.)

Thanks so much for sharing about your dd and her OCD SubC. Your advice corresponds with what my psychologist said about OCD (it came up when we were discussing the treatment for hoarding). I'm trying some natural remedies for anxiety before going to medication, as we're supposed to be trying to get pregnant (although this seems a bad time if Dh wants to leave).

Well done on all your progress with your clothes Lila, you've done an amazing job! You deserve your iced mocha. :-D

Thanks so much for sharing Lila. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one with hoarding and OCD. It really sucks having both issues. I like your strategies and will definitely use them. I'll post in the daily tally thread just now. I pray about the anxiety too and it does help.

Thank you for all the love and understanding Tatoulia! I did the dishes this morning and made the bed, and it did give me a sense of accomplishment. I need to keep that as a habit. Thank you. :)

I'm so sorry to hear about your hip SubC, how is it feeling today? Well done on keeping up with the dishes and laundry while injured too. And congrats on finishing the evaluations, that must be a relief. Can I send you some of my assignments to grade too? ;)

I'm glad you had a good time with your friend and her daughter Tatoulia. Lovely that she took 3 pieces of art too. I'm sorry you're missing BF, I can only imagine how hard that must be. Sending love for that and when you have to inter your mother. Not easy. I'm glad Emiko will be there for support.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Lila, thank you for better explaining your living situation. You are a good mom.

Lila, I am so sorry about all you are going through. Don't beat yourself up. Please. You are too hard on yourself. You may not see it but I do. There will always be places that need children's books.

Good work at taking a look at your clothes! I hear you on the thighs. I am very fat right now and am extremely mad at myself.

My friend and her daughter came over and my friend took at least three works of art, maybe more. I can specifically remember three but the bag seemed fuller. And as she left, she said, I want everything in your house when you move to Greece. I thought that was really sweet. I am not moving to Greece, I'm just buying a very small place where BF and I can meet up a few times a year. I miss him so much. It is getting harder with time and not easier.

Then Emiko came for dinner, which was really nice. After dinner we sat on my stoop and watched the world go by.

My sister and I set the date to inter my mother. Emiko will either join me or she will stay here with the cats.

Good job Lila!

I agree on the thrift store tops. And a pair of jeans. I wish you could come to the store where I buy jeans. You could find the whole lot for under $20.

Alanna, how are you doing?

Tatoulia, how did the art show go?

I hurt my hip yesterday moving feed, so I have not done any gardening today. I did catch up a lot on the laundry and all the way on dishes. I did my three evaluations, and I froze the batch of vanilla ice cream that had been sitting in the fridge for a while. I also made another batch (chocolate) and put it in to chill.

I picked up a few things.

I have a pot of brown rice cooking in whey and Dh is making a pepper/onion/walnut dish I like. There's enough room in the dishwasher to easily go to bed with a clean kitchen!

Alanna, I'm so sorry about your husband's lack of understanding. You didn't get in this situation in a day and you can't fix it in a day. When I used to help with other people's houses (mim and brother), I'd start with the trash and dishes first. There is something to be said for just getting that done. It is an instant lift. Put all the laundry in the bin, make all the beds. Instant and noticeable lift. And you will feel a sense of accomplishment. The things I just listed may take you two days but it will be a sense of accomplishment. Wish I were there to help.

I'm going to do the same here right now as my friend is coming over with her daughter. They will be looking at my art work and hopefully taking a piece or two with them.

Alanna, I could feel your anxiety building in your post! Your anxiety is high and the stuff is a lot. This may sound foolish but no matter what happens to your stuff, you will be okay. You will be fine. It's stuff. Trust me. It's terrible and unfair and awful and maddening and upsetting. And you will be okay. Sending you love.

Hello hello! Just starting to read the posts.

Lila, go to goodwill and get three bigger tops. No need to hate yourself while losing the 10-15. Do not buy new. At my goodwill, tops are $4.99 or less. I'm heavy right now and all my tops look pathetic. So I went to goodwill and bought three tops. One is off white and two are white. Problem solved.

I don't want you to be hating yourself. Just get the bigger tops. Sending you love.

Okay back to reading.

hi Alanna and SubC again. I have made progress. It took 3, or 4 times going into my bedroom and tring things on, then taking breaks, but I tried on everything in my bedroom closet. The right half is full of things that are too tight. A few are just barely too tight, like 5 pounds too tight, to those are closest to the left side. The far left is a robe and a couple of jackets that fit. The center, which is on the left side of the closet is all clothes that DO fit. The ones with long sleeves are closer to the coats since I won't wear them often in the summer. I am surprised at having several nice tops I had forgotten about, that fit! Now I have something nice to wear to church tomorrow. I also was sad about a few things that I thought fit, but were too tight. But now I have all the things that fit in one space so I can stop being in a panic every workday, trying things on and throwing them on chairs because they are too tight.

I am enjoying my iced mocha!

I also have one drawer full of tank tops and tees. I have terrible arms so have to wear a light cardigan or something layered over them, but again, I bet more than half don't even fit me. So later or maybe Monday I will try all of them on and put the ones that fit either in the closet or in a drawer so I can layer them.

All of this makes me happy and proud of myself. It also dismays me that most of my clothes did fit just a short 6 months ago. I feel so huge. I also feel motivated to lose that 15 pounds so I can wear more of my clothes.

I also did all my laundry, and it is in the dryer, so I will need to put it away.

I also note: I own 3 pairs of jeans now. Others got holes in the thighs and got tossed. Two of them are nicer and I wear them to work, but they are very close to wearing holes in the thighs. One pair is baggier and not very pretty and I wear it at home. I do not want to buy new jeans. I have many jeans that would fit if I lost the 15 pounds. But I may have to buy one pair in the meantime, so I can avoid an embarrassing accidental thigh rip at work.

Alanna, I am the only hoarder left. My ex was a hoarder but he is gone now. I have to say, I am so frustrated today that I might be able to purge some stuff if I got down to it, in the garage. I too have been frozen with OCD in the past, checking locks and stove and lights over and over and over. I have to fight myself really hard sometimes when I take a donate box to the car or drop it off - I REALLY have an urge to go through it again and take things out. I have gotten better this year with a few practices:

1 - I made a rule that I can take things out of a donate box while it is in my house, but once it is in the car, it is off limits. It goes in the very back and NO looking or touching anything in there.

2 - I started the Daily Tally thread. Check it out. You can use it for anything. I count items that leave my home. You could count bags of trash that go out without you checking them. Set a goal - like 20 bags. Then, every time one goes out without checking, post about it, even how you felt, and count it in your post. (1/20, 3/20, 19/20 etc til you hit 20/20). This is how I got rid of 1000 items last year. It is very motivated to hit that goal and post on the thread!

3 - I pray. When I have anxiety, and want to check locks or worry about donating something I might need later, I just start praying. I tell God I trust him to take care of me, to provide what I need, and that I want to be free. I ask him to break the chains of slavery to possessions.

4 - I just force myself sometimes. When there is a hard thing and I am on the fence about keep or toss, I just force myself, turn my brain off, and get it out of there. Then I try and block it from my mind.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Ok, so do the bottles.

Also OCD and hoarding can be related or copresent, but they are different things. My dd1 has OCD, but she did not get the hoarding gene. I do not have OCD.

When reading the following, please remember I am not a psychiatrist and I have no professional qualifications related to mental health, I am just sharing second hand information.

DD's therapist told her giving in to the checking made the OCD worse, so she is not allowed to go back and check that the stove is off for example. There are things she just has to trust her Dh to do and she is supposed to try to distract herself from thinking about them if she starts to worry. It is hard for her because basically what she is being told is to accept that she is feeling anxiety and not try to fix it.

In your case, this would look like having trash cans, putting trash in them, and letting Dh take the trash out every week without you checking it.

That might actually help. It would at least get the trash out of your house.

Zoloft often helps with OCD. You might want to ask your doctor if medication would help you. You might not.

Hey SubC

My psychologist also said to start with easy things - I thought about what would be easy and that would be my empty bottles (I thought of keeping 2 or 3 spare and getting rid of the rest - this would cause some anxiety but not an overwhelming amount). My current stumbling block with anxiety is actually letting the trash be collected - I'm so fearful of something important to me being in the trash that I have to check everything before the trash goes out (which I realise is OCD but it's like hoarding-OCD if that makes sense, because it's not a fear of contamination). I don't know how to get past this anxiety without checking, and when things get busy (as they have been recently) then the trash backs up and frustrated Dh more. I don't know how to break this down into easier/more manageable/less anxiety inducing tasks. any ideas? (I'm not at the point where I can't flush the toilet but considering the trash issues, I can well understand how people get there and I really don't want to end up there.)

I like your analogy of climbing a mountain 3 feet at a time. I was making some progress until things got busy at work. I want to get back to making progress.

Thanks for the advice about reassuring Dh that the space is a sanctuary for him, not a license for me to mess everything up. You're right that he might think that (even though it's not my intention) and I hadn't considered that he might see it that way.

Glad you're still making some progress even if you're puttering. I'm sure you need rest after a busy year teaching - I always feel burnt out at the end of a semester.

Hey Lila

I'm sorry that you're experiencing pressure and anxiety from within. I'm not sure which is worse, pressure from within or from others. But I can totally relate - I wish I was normal.

I'm sorry to hear that the empty shelves have things on them again. Are other in your family hoarders as well or just storing things? Sharing space when you're a hoarder is difficult - if someone moves something that I put somewhere then I second guess myself and it feels like I'm going crazy and losing my mind (especially if Dh can't remember moving the item, which is often). I hope TotsDad can help you and that you can make some progress today. Don't feel dismayed that they saved books too - that means they appreciate books and will enjoy the books you saved too.

Enjoy your iced mocha and well done on making progress with sorting already. :) I also need praise/rewards to keep on trying to make progress, so don't feel bad. I tend to do well with praise as a reward, which is sometimes difficult if Dh doesn't notice the progress. I must try some other reward methods to get myself making progress.

Thank you all for being here and all the support. I really really appreciate it. <3

SubC, you got it mostly right! Yes, I have owned my large home for almost 30 years, and raised my children here. It has 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms - a lot of space, with living room, family room, storage rooms etc. I would like a smaller home without all these stairs. So I decided to sell it, and get a different house in this area.

Then, TotsDad (ds#3) decided he needed a bigger home, with all his children. He and his wife own a house only a mile from me. TotsFam moved in with me so he could remodel his bathrooms and paint and do repairs so he can rent out his small home. Once that is done, they plan to buy my home from me (I will give them a good/lower price, but need to have enough to buy myself a place).

So all TotsFam's stuff is here in my downstairs and garage.

And yes, Teen and Son (youngest son) live with us too. There is not much space left at all! I am sorting so that when I move, I will not take a hoard with me. That's how I got rid of over 1000 items last year - TotsDad helped me purge the garage and family room.

I LOVE the idea of empty boxes to hold space! I am going to do that, maybe with empty (not clear) bins too. People tend to fill space that is open.

So I decided my reward would be an iced mocha when I am done with the clothes sorting. I then realized I would have to go spend money etc. So instead, I made a nice chocolate syrup on the stove and it is cooling, and I will make my own iced mocha when I am done! I also brewed a pot of good coffee which is cooling.

I started at the far end of my closet where I put 2 dresses and 2 concert tee shirts, and my leather jacket. I took 4 winter/dark items out and folded them to fit into a tote. Then, I started trying things on, one by one. Things that almost fit, go into the far end. Things that fit and I can wear now, go on the left end. I am trying on every item in the middle, because I don't know with this weight gain what looks ok or not, so I must try on each item.

Maybe I will even donate something. I got tired and took a break but will go back to it as soon as I am done here.

I also went in the garage with TotsDad and he said he did not move anything. Teen moved all those small things onto the empty shelves. She will not say why. Not happy about that. But TotsDad moved all his totes that were moved, back, and he took down the bins I couldn't reach, and now I know which ones are mine and can label them and put the on the shelves.

I am looking forward to my iced mocha.

Lila, we all have inner toddlers who need rewards. it is a trick finding healthy ways to reward them. I often cannot be trusted to deny myself the reward when I fail to do the thing.

I am trying to understand your family housing.

You (own?) a house. Living in that house are tot's fam, another son, and teen.

Tot's fam (owned/rented?) another house. That house is (sold? Empty? Partly full of their stuff?)

Tot's fam will (stay in your house? Move back?)

You will move?

Teen and other son will then live where?

Dealing with the use and ownership of space must be really hard right now. I am sorry about the garage. When I started clearing out, sometimes I would put empty boxes back on shelves to hold the space. Now, sometimes I still find one (brain "oh lord, what is in here?" Opens box "oh! Cool!")

I have discovered that I have no energy today. I am just puttering. I did go get feed. And I stopped at the little library in the feed store town. I got three books and found out the summer reading program starts June 10.

Good morning! Alanna and SubC, what an interesting and helpful discussion you are having about spouses and decluttering pressure. I find it helpful because I never ever got pressure to declutter from my ex, because he was the biggest hoarder, like a professional level hoarder, and I was like a "hobby hoarder" so I was the nagger. Now that he is out and all his stuff is gone, I am dealing with a similar anxiety about stuff that you both are expressing. But the pressure is mostly coming from within me. Like, I can't stand this anymore. I hate not being able to find anything, having piles of random stuff I have not used in years but cannot bear to part with...

I think now that I have TotsFam in my house and am thinking about moving out, I have almost 30 years worth of stuff to think about. It is stressing me out.

Last night I asked TotsDad to move my totes out of his huge mass/wall/blockade of totes in the center of my garage, so I could sort them this morning. To me this seemed simple: take down my totes (mostly clear, and only 8 or so of them) from the high walls of your stash. I was going to sort, label, organize and put them all neatly on the empty shelves where ex's stuff was.

Well, I went in there to sort this morning and stuff is moved. Not only are my totes not down where I can reach them, but stuff from the other side of the garage has been placed on those empty shelves! Just random items. I got so stressed out. Why is the stroller now in front of the shelves? Why are boxes of small items on the shelves?? Now, not only to I have to sort and organize, but I have to re-clear the shelves, get the totes down, find somewhere for all that small stuff to go... omg. I got so overwhelmed I walked out. Will ask TotsDad for help when he gets up.

Before I left, though, I saw a blue tote that is mine and opened it. And it was full of TotsFam's children's books. SO many books! And I thought, omg. Here I am trying to find my book totes so the grandkids can read, and TotsFam already HAS bins of kids' books in here they are not even using! I can't even say why this dismayed me so much. Maybe because I saved all these books for 15-20 years... but, I dunno. Ugh, I just don't know. I might be purging some things when I get in there today, out of sheer frustration. But I will keep the books because I want a shelf for the kids in my new house.

I hate that this is so overwhelming to me. I haven't even started on the clothes yet. Sometimes I promise myself that if I get xyz done, then I can have a treat, or go to the coffee shop or something. What could I do that is healthier? I feel like a toddler who needs a bribe to be good.

Hey Alanna!

You know the thing you wrote about your friend and the pantry? That was a really good exercise and you saw how you could get rid of things when you didn't "have to."

The way you get through the anxiety is through gradual build up and repetition.

So, start with the things that are easy to get rid of and focus on getting rid of them as often as possible and notice how that helps things.

Now, you might be thinking "nothing is easy to get rid of."
Since you are still married I doubt that - if you have to, praise yourself for flushing the toilet. (There are people for whom this gets so bad they can't, not the direction you want to go.)

Next find something that causes you a little anxiety. Think about what is the worst thing that can happen if you do that thing. Is it worse than another fight with your Dh? Is it worse than him leaving? Now is the hard part - do the thing (put the clamshell in the trash). You are going to feel all the feelings. That is ok. Feel them. Sit with them. Cry or scream if you need to. But the feelings will fade. Come here and get some praise if you can't get it from Dh. Notice how doing the thing made things better.

And do the thing, or a similar thing, again. And keep doing them as often as possible until they aren't so hard. Then do the next thing. It's like climbing a mountain. You are not going to climb half a mile in an afternoon on your first try. It is too hard. But you can climb three feet. And then another three feet, and eventually 6 feet will feel like 3 feet, and twelve, and eventually, you will realize that the top of the mountain is just three feet away. And it helps if you look back to see how far you have come instead of ahead at the ground left to cover.

Talk to Dh about what you are trying to do. And if you start with the idea of a space for him, make it clear that this is not a transaction - "you get this space and I get to mess up everything else" - it's an approach to starting the process that gives him a sanctuary during the time it is going to take you to get better. The goal is to keep expanding the clear space. You may eventually get to a point where you negotiate which areas are going to be minimalist and which areas will have more stuff, but that is not now, now you can both agree that the situation is not acceptable. You are just trying to work together to find an approach that allows you to improve the situation with less conflict.

A therapist might help with this (communicating and working together) if you need one.

Hey SubC

Thank you so much for your post and sharing, it really helps and you've given me some great practical advice to try.

I've stuffed everywhere and run out of space, hence the piles elsewhere. And you're right, finding things is a problem and getting things results in more mess. Sigh. Wish I could magically fix myself.

You're so right about the fear response being worse with ultimatums. I was also wondering where I could stash things to hide them before Monday because of panic. Today has been a write off, between the fear and the emotional exhaustion and tears from another fight and feeling like I'm such a huge burden, I've got absolutely nothing done. I'll try talk to Dh later but not sure if he'll understand the ultimatum making things worse, in which case I'll have to sort through as much as I can tomorrow.

Thank you for your advice - I'll ask Dh about a space/room just for him (at the moment it feels like he wants the whole house organised). I really like your comment about praise for even small things, that'll really help me (because it seems that the progress I have made this year has been unnoticed because of everything still left to do, which is very demotivating).

What tools and supports would help with getting rid of things with anxiety? Then perhaps I can ask my psychologist specifically or find some resources to work through things myself. I'm not sure if my psychologist has much experience treating hoarding, I got the feeling when looking for support groups that hoarding is not really treated in this country (probably because there are so many other bigger problems in the country that hoarding isn't such a big issue).

Even though my students are technically adults, they still come to me for help so I still try my best to help them learn and understand, so I completely understand raising the bar each year. :)

Hope you got all your chores done. Thanks for the heads up about CEO's post - I hadn't seen it, but I've now posted a few thoughts for CEO.

*REcluttered the surfaces, definitely not decluttered.

Alanna, we cross posted.

Some things get easier over years of teaching, but yeah, good teachers just keep raising the bar. Sometimes my family says "you don't have to." and I just look at them like they ar crazy. These are children! Of course I have to..

Your students are adults, so I think I would feel less responsible for them.

I used to stuff the hoard to try to make Dh happy, but then all the spaces were stuffed and I couldn't find anything and things got ruined and I made huge messes when I needed something, and I still decluttered the surfaces.

The first step that helped was choosing one space that mattered to Dh and getting it clean and organized and keeping it that way. At first it meant that I piled everything in another room which became completely non-functional (in the face of your Dh ultimatum, I would have been panicking and desperately stuffing whatever is in those piles somewhere where he wouldn't see it because the fear response was too strong to let me deal with it at all. (Can you maybe show him this?)

So the space Dh chose was a room that had mostly his stuff in it where he works when he is home. We moved things so it only has his stuff and our stuff chosen by him(furniture, art, family photos and some rugs and throws) and agreed that I could not come into the space while carrying anything (I was allowed to ask if I could come in with a cup of coffee or glass of wine. Now I am even allowed to fold laundry in there while spending time with him, but the key is everything that comes in with me leaves with me, even if I am just going to the bathroom for a minute.)

Now I am at a point where when the surfaces get bad I can see that the problem is getting bad again and get back to work. If I just stuffed the things, I would lose my hard won functional spaces AND my brain would tell me the problem had been solved.

It was really hard for Dh to get to a point where he could work with me and accept the nature of the problem and that his way wasn't helping. (If I broke both legs, you'd build me a wheelchair ramp, right? Not keep yelling at me that I needed to start walking again?) I had to make progress for more than a year before he started to really believe I could. There were a lot of fights and tears.

Unfortunately your psychologist is right, but there are tools and supports that will help you do that and they should be offering those, not telling you "just do it"

Another thing I asked Dh for was praise when I made progress. Even if he had to fake it at first because the progress was so underwhelming. now I get the praise for the things that Dh thinks are ridiculous here. Because the tiny dopamine hit that you get when somebody sees that you threw out the plastic package, acknowledges that that was a hard thing for you, and praises you (it's about seeing the effort really, not about judging the action) really does help with the anxiety and regret of doing the thing. And it helps you build new pathways in your brain.

What your Dh is doing is making the anxiety response worse. I'm not blaming him, what he is doing is a totally normal human response. But if he can come to understand that he is not dealing with a totally normal human and adapt his response, he can help you get better instead of fighting with you.

I think we posted at the same time SubC. :) Glad you're on vacation and that you're feeling less wiped out than last year. Good luck with all the chores today.

Good morning.

Lila, I think your clothes plan is good. I was gone for teaching and for staying late in my quiet, empty room doing evaluations.

It is the first day of summer vacation. I am much less wiped out than last year. And - I have done all but 15 evaluations! My plan is to do three every day so they are a small daily task, and have them done on Wednesday, but I may accelerate.

My classroom trash can was full yesterday, for the first time ever. I have mixed feelings about that, but I am reminding myself that my time is a resource too and I need to focus effort where it will make the biggest impact.

Today I need to go to the feed store, and I will work in the garden and on the laundry and dishes. I don't know what else, if anything. I will discuss the teacher gifts on the tally thread as I get to them, but there were not too many this year. Some kind notes that I have reached the point where I can read and recycle, a couple of gift cards for food or drink, cookies, candy, and tea will take up no long term space.

One family gave me a beautiful set of D&D dice with red dragons on them.

Please go to the welcome board section and help CEO - they seem to really care about helping.

I'll check back later.

Hey All :)

This is my 5th year teaching. I always think that the workload will get better the more I teach, but it never does - I always find things to improve.

So glad to hear about the baby SubC! I'm glad that the mass hasn't grown and that there's a good medical plan in place. Thanks you for sharing about the pranks, I loved reading about it and I could imagine the chickens in the Maths class, the chalk outlines in the history class, the for sale sign, and all your snowmen. :-D The director's open door policy for the bathroom also gave me a good chuckle. You're doing a wonderful job and I'm so glad that it's a happy environment for all at school. Hope the evaluations are going well and well done for leaving the clam shells in the bin! (I know all about fishing things out the bin, so I know how hard that was.)

Thanks Tatoulia. :) I still have assignments to grade, but at least there's progress. Sounds like you did lots of chores this week, well done! And I'm glad that you had a lovely time and dinner with your friend. I must get into the habit of running the dishwasher every night (or at least doing the dishes), it'll help with the backlog. Hope the mammogram went well. :)

Lila, well done on finishing your busy week at work. :) I'm sorry to hear about your health issues - I hope you heal soon. Well done on getting so many chores done, despite the health issues. I think your plan for the clothes sounds great - having them organized and packed by size will definitely help. Maybe you could also try some of those vacuum bags for the clothes that you're packing? The ones where you use a vacuum to suck out all the air. They supposedly help save quite a bit of space (I haven't tried any yet, I haven't gotten to tackling my clothing).

Please pray for me this weekend. There are a few piles that are really frustrating DH and he says that they are going out with the bin on Monday, whether I've sorted them or not, so I need to go through them today and tomorrow (instead of doing the washing I had planned). SubC - I think I'm the opposite; DH gets stressed by the mess so my surfaces aren't too bad but the cupboards are a big mess and there are piles that don't fit in the cupboards. I want to organise and go through things and tidy them but I just haven't had a chance. SubC - I agree that threatening the hoard is counterproductive but unfortunately it falls on deaf ears with DH and he says that I'm hell to live with and it's making him depressed (he grew up in a minimalist home, so living with a hoarder is probably worse for him than someone who grew up in a normal home). There has already been many tears but not really progress unfortunately. I went to see a psychologist and the net result and help from that was that I need to struggle with the anxiety and get rid of stuff despite the anxiety. Not very helpful because if I knew how to get the anxiety down to a manageable level to get rid of things, then I would have done that already.

Thank you all for being here. At least here I feel like a person with a hoarding problem, rather than feeling like I'm the problem and a failure.

Hope everyone has a good day (better than mine). @>- - > - -

post 3 today - everyone seems to be gone on Fridays...

I managed to find a mostly empty tote, and took all of the winter/heavy/dark colored sweaters out of my drawers and off the chairs, and folded them into the bin. This leaves me with an empty drawer and a half to put summer things in.

Tomorrow I will try to sort the hanging clothes and only have things that fit on the left side of the closet.

Hope you all are well.

post 2 today, trying to sort something out in my mind. Comments welcome.

You probably know I have a clothing problem. Now, the problem is worse. I was comfortable with sweaters for winter. Now it is getting hot, and my wardrobe has to change. It is too hot for sweaters except for a light cardigan here and there.

Also, all the clothing my friend bought for me in fall (nice, lightweight blouses that I wore under cardigans or alone) - ALL of them are too tight. I probably am 10 or 12 pounds heavier, and while I can get them on, they cling, I can't move freely, and my fat rolls are accented. I am so sad about this.

I have dozens of clothing items all over my room, in dressers, closet, on the chair, in piles. I only have 3 or 4 tops that fit that I would wear to work, and a few okay for home. I have worn a sweater on cooler days to fill in the gaps but now it is really too hot.

I have spent hours looking at clothes online but keep stopping myself. I do NOT need more clothes, and certainly not BIGGER clothes.

I thought perhaps today and tomorrow, I could put all the sweaters/winter things into a tote and put in the storage room. Then perhaps I could sort through and put the things that will fit if I lose 10 - 15 pounds on one side of my closet. Anything that fits now on the other side (I need to try some things on and see if there are more that fit now). Then bin the rest up and label them by size.

I cannot get rid of the clothes that will fit me if I lose 20 - 30 pounds. I have some nice clothes in those sizes and I do hope I will lose the weight. I am trying and maybe the new Dr will help me. (Thyroid issues).

What do you think? Maybe if I can find a few more tops that fit, I can have it all organized and not feel so upset every morning when I am trying to get dressed.

hi all.

I have successfully caught up on all of your posts. I am proud of you about the clamshells, SubC, that was a wise decision. Alanna, so interesting to hear more about what you do/are doing. And Tatoulia, happy mammogram day.

I worked basically full time this week, several big projects, everything a success, and am exhausted, but enjoying my day off today. I am having some health issues that are painful and bothersome, and limit some of the things I can do. One affects my sight, so my beloved reading time is greatly curtailed. But, I am determined to enjoy my time off.

Today I have:
- made breakfast for myself, Teen, and Tot
- unloaded and loaded the dishwasher
- hand washed the rest of the dishes
- washed off the kitchen counters
- cleaned off the stove
- made a box of trash to go out and asked Teen to take it out, which she has not, so I will have to after I ask one more time
- spent a little time with Tot and my dog

I hope to get my clothes washed today and do a bit of cooking and cleaning out the fridge.

Anyone have good recipes using asparagus stems? I was given a gallon bag of stems to chop up and use in dishes. Recipes welcome, or, how could I save these? Can I just freeze them, do you think?

Last day of school. I am never ready.

I got my first two classes of evaluations turned in last night, so only a little behind on the plan and six classes to go.

I have told one of my high school students that he can read his today before I submit it. I would like to do that with that entire class.

I will need to do an items update this weekend - teacher gifts and hallway scavenging are happening.

I am so proud of you, SubC! Also thank you for the news on the baby.

It is hot and sticky here in Boston. And I'm reminded of how much I truly loathed myself and my apartment when it would be humid and my house was a mess.