Tess!! You are back! I'm pleased you are working on your place and how nice to have a new love interest!!!! We are all working on surfaces this month! Let's get your counters scrubbed!

Tillie no monsters will be slayed today, unfortunately. I'd forgotten that I had a work lunch and had to get showered, dressed and into office. Luckily I found out at about 10:40 so I had plenty of time to get ready and get into office. I would have been mortified if the timing had worked out any differently. I never even looked at my calendar today.

Tillie I had pictured you very thin! My thyroid was a terrible issue but then I just used it as an excuse. I don't have my gland anymore and I take synthroid daily. My dosage was decreased in May due but I weight loss and will likely need another adjustment soon.

I'll next be working at home on Wednesday. Monster has a short reprieve.

Hi friends!

Long time no talk! I'm so happy to see you guys are still around and doing well. I'm happy to see some weight loss talk too. I've been trying so hard to get my cholesterol in check. It's not easy passing on delicious foods.

So, yeah....I'm back! I've been seeing a guy for a few months now. It's getting more serious. Which means eventually I'm going to have to invite him over. Yikes! I'm giving myself a one month deadline to get this place in shape for company. I'm nervous/excited. He makes me want to do better. I think this is a very good sign.

Anyway, today I'm going to clear surfaces (kitchen counter, coffee table, kitchen table, bathroom vanity, bedside table) which I've been trying to keep up with, change sheets, clean cat litter, and take out a couple bags of trash. Pray for me, y'all! I really want this one to work out.

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Subclinical :)
Yes, that bunny information takes a sturdy stomach to get through.
But it is interesting to learn about rabbits and their care. :)
Sorry about the weight gain but happy you went out and had a nice evening.
I think you can ask for a sheet of aluminum foil at most restaurants instead of a clam shell if what you need to take home would be ok just wrapped.

Hi Tatoulia :)
GO! GO! GO! get in there and slay some monsters today! ;D

As we get older it is much harder not to gain weight.
Metabolisms change.
Often we are not as physically active for as many hours in a day to burn calories.

Right now I am watering the flower/herb garden.
When that's done I will start doing some house cleaning.
Plan to wipe down surfaces with some good smelling all purpose cleaner to help minimize/hide the smoke smell.
The smoke today is a thin haze right now.
I woke up at 4:30am but was able to fall back to sleep until 9:00am.
I really needed the sleep! :D
The most I have ever weighed was 142 but that was the day before I delivered an 8 and a half pound baby.
And I was so fat because my hunger was insatiable the whole nine months.
But that baby never slept, ever, so the weight came off fast.
LOL ;D

The salt adds up quickly for me, SubC. Could you leave a few Tupperware items in your car for those times you go out for dinner?

My weight has been a struggle for a while. I was always fairly thin. I've been with BF for 14 years and I was at a normal weight when we met, then put on a few, lost those and was thin again, then I ballooned up. I used my thyroid disease and thyroid removal as an excuse but really I just ate and ate and ate. I turned into a secret binge eater. Ice cream mainly but pizza too. Ugh. I lost about 20 from intermittent fasting. After getting out from under my brother's abusive grasp, I went to a nutritionist/food coach and honestly, I don't feel like I'm dieting. She re-worked my brain and relationship with food. I do listen to her CDs to help me along the way. I am planning to have this work for life and I'll just make an appointment to see her if things go awry. She was very clear after the five week program that if I find myself in trouble, to get in touch sooner rather than later.

My BF is European and eats healthy foods in small quantities and he's very thin. His sisters are gorgeous and thin.

Well today's my date with the cabinet.

SubC stay strong in the event someone tries to push bread on you.

I will go pour my iced tea, get to work, and plan a md morning break to work on the cabinet.

Thank you Tillie, that was informative (but not mealtime reading!)

Dh eats most of the ice cream. He is one of those people who can eat anything. He is constantly snacking and it makes it really hard for me.

He took me out for dinner last night. We had a lovely time, but I ordered too much food (we split a large appetizer and then I got what I thought would be a small entree) and ended up caving in to the styrofoam clamshell to bring my leftovers home. And my weight is up 2 lbs this morning. I would like to say it was the salt, but I know it will take all week of eating healthy with no snacks/treats to get the two pounds back off.

It is becoming harder and harder for me to budge my weight downwards and therefor harder to enjoy eating out. Which is bad, because it is something we both enjoy and I really appreciate the breaks from cooking.

This morning I go to the food bank. I am resolved not to bring any bread home - there is still plenty in last week's box.

Hi Tatoulia :)
Sounds like a lovely drive you two had. :D
A day and meal at the museum sounds like a great time.
I always loved going to the museums in Detroit and Los Angeles and the rose garden teas and the LA Brea fossil mines and seeing Saber Tooth Tiger bones.

WOW! WTG! That's a great weight loss and you did it in a healthy way.

I have been doing good with my "no processed sugar" challenge.
I quit baking for one and don't buy bakery products at the grocery store.
Only thing I still crave is potato chips but I've been very good and haven't bought any.

I say the cats are indoor only cats but the cats say they are indoor/outdoor cats, if I would just open the door for them.
They play with baby bunnies, birds, lizards and anything else that moves, I hate that.
Also they may stay out too late in the day and the coyotes would eat them, poor little Striper. :(

I am procrastinating right now.
Dishes need washing. I hate standing at the sink.
It always makes my back hurt so much.

Ice cream is one of my favorite treats, SubC. So delicious. I haven't had any since I saw the nutritionist. Something inside of me snapped and I haven't been craving it. I've also steered clear of all sweets (meaning candy and cakes etc, not fruit). And oddly, the first time I got a muffin I ordered a bran muffin instead of my usual blueberry. So I guess her teachings have been good for me. I'm trying not to focus on the weight too much although as of last week I was down 12.6 lbs.

I took mom out today and I drove her around to pretty places. She is extremely tired and fragile. I don't know how much longer I have her. So we just try to have some fun. I've scheduled a day off to take her to the museum of fine arts. We can use one of their wheelchairs and their dining options are very nice.

My cat is the first indoor cat I've ever had. No rodents, no worms, no fleas, no scrapes from fighting, etc. I did like having indoor/outdoor cats but not in the city.

Before I picked up mom today I thought, it would take me zero time to unload the dishwasher and wipe down the counters. And I was right. It went so quickly!

House porn!!! I had no idea! I love the open spaces and the lack of piles of stuff everywhere. So nice!

Hi Subclinical :)

The Vet told me that my dog and cats got tapeworm when they bit at the annoying fleas and then inadvertently swallowed the flea.

tapeworm in rabbits

Hope this link works.
Makes no sense worming Bunny until all fleas are eradicated because right after they are treated they can become re-infected.
My animals did not have fleas but out in the yard I suspect the cats ate the occasional rodent and I suspect my dog probably ate cat poop. :P

Sounds terribly nasty hot & humid at your house. :(
WAY TO GO!!! working on sorting out the counter!
Fresh creamy homemade ice cream sounds like the perfect treat for you two. ;D
Very happy to know that you are using the Reuse store for things not easily recycled otherwise. (((hug)))

Already 1:15pm here and I haven't had to turn on any fans or the cooler yet.
A pleasant 76 degrees in here.


Hi Anonymoniker :)
How's it going today?
Hope you are keeping cool out of the heat. (((hug)))

Ice tea clink!

Tillie, I don't know about bunnies and tape worms - I hope not! The bunny is nice and fat and strong right now. We use a topical between the shoulder blades for the cat. I order it from Canada. I kept it on hand because it seems like we have to treat him about twice a year. I figured it was from eating mice and other critters. As far as I know, he has no fleas.

My in laws actually live in a house porn house. When we come to visit they cover the good furniture with sheets. If you get up from the table during a meal (say because your farm sitter calls with an emergency) and mil finishes eating while you are gone, when you come back, your dishes have been cleared, washed, dried and put away. She also used to take my plate before I was done because I didn't eat fast enough: "Here, let me take that." "I wasn't done with it." "That's alright. We're going to have dessert now."

I think that might be one of the things that helps dh be patient with me - at least i'm not the crazy he grew up with.

Tatoulia, I did not feel attacked at all. I just felt awful about making you feel bad. I'm glad we straightened it out.

I also think the cake decorating sounds very fun!

And yes, I agree. Being able to come here for encouragement and reassurance is most important on the bad days!

The rain still hasn't shown up, but the heat and humidity are nasty. If you stand in the shade for 20 minutes, sweat runs down your back. - as in runs, from your hair to your waist. Dh is on his fourth shirt. (He is in the studio barn which is only minimally insulated and has no a/c - just shade, a high roof, and a concrete floor., trying to fix a - the tractor, and b - the chainsaw.)

I started the ice cream churn a little over an hour ago, and while it was running I loaded and ran the dishwasher and cleaned off about 1/4 of the old kitchen counter - which is now the official dumping ground for everything that has to be dealt with "later". Some of it I moved (basement, a related pile on the dining porch, car, reuse store bowl, goes back to school shoebox), and some of it I dealt with (recycle, trash, wash and put away)

I'm going to do a quick sweep of surfaces in the addition and let dh know there is ice cream

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi CriticalMass :)
Medicating cats is a real challenge.
The Vet gives me liquid medicine with a dropper and holding the cat, trying to get the medicine in it's mouth is almost impossible, then the cat spits it out anyways. ;P
Computers know when it's the least convenient time for us to upgrade so that is when they insist we upgrade them immediately.
Hope things settle down soon with the kitties. :)

Hi Subclinical :)
Thank you (((HUG)))
Yes, I did see that Mama duck with all those ducklings.
You have never upset me with your way of writing.
You clearly and honestly write what you feel and think.
One time at a college friend's house he said "just sit anywhere" while he went to take a phone call in the kitchen.
I looked around for a place to sit and then sat down on the floor.
When he returned he asked why I was sitting on the floor, then he realized it was the least cluttered surface in the room.
We laughed and spent the evening sitting together on the floor.
I hope all your goats are responding well to the worming and that soon Bunny will be flea free.
I know that fleas give dogs and cats tapeworm, is it the same for rabbits?
The Vet would give me one inexpensive pill for each animal and that would clear it up.


Hi Tatoulia :)
OK, tomorrow you suit up and get back in that cabinet! ;D
Did you know that we refer to magazine photos of perfect house interiors as house porn? LOL ;D
Nobody lives like that in real life.
But the pics are fun to look at for good ideas.
Cake decorating classes sounds like fun.
The best thing about living in a big city is all the different things to do and places to visit.
It's good that you don't feel that you need to finish the food if it's not what you want to eat because it's too salty.
I love pizza but don't eat any that I didn't make myself because they are just too salty.


Little bit smokier here today, my cough is back.
Beautiful cool morning though, 68 degrees in here.
Had been craving meat so yesterday I pan fried a steak with garlic and butter.
YUM! still have 2/3s of it left in the fridge for today.
Thinking tomorrow I will do basic house cleaning.
Scrub bathroom, wash floors, vacuum.
Maybe even dust a little. Really need to Murphy soap the furniture due to the smoke smell but it's still too smoky and would be a waste of time.
But I could remove the thick layer of dust. ;P

SubC we cross posted! You are a very good communicator and I love you very much. Our safety net is in place and if one of us says something that hits us wrong, we will always work it out! Always. Be yourself. What I find important here is being able to have not made progress. Does that make sense? Making progress and getting the praise is great and fine and wonderful and loving, but the real value comes on those days when the self-loathing or depression or backsliding or frustration "wins". SubC, I used to feel like I'd abused my privilege of owning stuff.

That's funny about the chairs! I am trying so hard to not have stuff laying around. I still cut out or save pictures of homes without clutter. And I keep telling myself: if you don't have someplace to put it, you have too much stuff. It is a struggle.

SubC I need to thank you for helping me work out my issues yesterday. I did not mean to attack you and I hope you feel safe and loved here. I was afraid if I didn't express myself that I'd stop coming here and then I'd backslide. And be lonely.

Good morning, everyone! Yes Tillie we have a firm date to go back into the cabinet. Monday it is! (I hope I don't stand you up).

Cm it is so hard to get cats to take their medicine! Keep trying. Sending you strength! Having the cats separated is certainly disruptive.

Tillie I worry about your health and I respect your privacy. You are so important to us!

SubC you did a great job not going to the sale! Sales like that can be raisin bread. Too much of a good thing.

Anony what are you doing today?

I think the humidity has passed. I have my windows open. Yesterday was very humid and stormy. We ended up having some friends drop by BF's with their three-year-old and a grownup friend from South America. We had a great time and after they left BF and I had dinner (our friend had already eaten). Our favorite go-to spot is being sold and we are trying to eat there before they are gone. I don't want to eat out for the next few days because my food last night was just so salty. I have half left for today, which I will pick up at BF's when I go get mom. Or maybe I won't eat it. I'm trying to remind myself that my body is not a garbage can. So if I'm craving it, I'll eat it. Otherwise I'll do something else with it.

I'm doing a quick load of delicates. I'll do kitty's laundry tomorrow.

I find I have too much idle time these days. This is shocking. It stems from not being harangued by sibling and having to "sleep off" the abuse. I've signed up for a cake decorating class at the local adult education center, which will be held over two saturdays in the fall.

Well I know Monday's idle time will be spent in a cabinet. With the monsters.

Tatoulia,

I am glad you are not upset by us anymore! I would never want to make you feel bad! I have a really hard time communicating with people. The lack of an edit button here really scares me sometimes, because the ability to edit often saves me. I recently had to stop posting on a B.B. that had been really helpful to me even though it had an edit button (nobody asked me to leave or anything, it just became clear that I was upsetting people all over the place and I couldn't figure out how to stop, so I left.) I feel like this is a really safe space.

I am no looking forward to the day when you tell us all the neighbors came over for dinner!

In contrast to you - my home is slowly looking less and less like the homes I grew up in. Which is a little funny, because in the last ten years I have added a lot of furniture and objects from those homes - but, the quantity of items has gone down, and we don't use chairs for storage anymore. (I literally grew up assuming that "just move [whatever was on chair]." was a perfectly acceptable and welcoming part of hospitality. Even though at times guest had to ask "to where?") chairs is a big one for me.

And I am grateful that you think about plastic for me. I like thinking about your nice, easy to use drawer of tote bags. :)

Tillie, you are our number one cheerleader. I am so glad you made this space. I don't know if you saw the story about the duck with so many babies that was all over the Internet, but I feel like you are the crèche mama duck of our little flock - gathering us up and leading us around to learn all the things we need to know to survive.

CM, I wish the technology wasn't so frustrating for you. I know how it feels because in my real life, I am usually the one whose tech doesn't work. In fact, at my job, when they introduce a new electronic program or procedure, they walk me through it. Then if I get it to work, they roll it out at a staff meeting and tack on "it's not hard. [subc] can do it." Except sometimes it doesn't work, and then they just tell me we'll have to figure out a workaround for me. (Like, I don't text stuff to the office - I send a kid with a note.)

I really hope all your animals are healthy soon! Sick animals is one of my challenges right now and the stress and emotional and time investment can really throw everything else off.

I slept really late this morning because for once dh gets to stay home all day and we are "relaxing". It's supposed to get very hot and rain soon, so I will hopefully make some progress on the house.

HC post 4 Aug 2018

Very quick again and I don't like that because there've been so many developments here I want to be able to respond more often. But I'll catch up, I hope.

Tatoulia, I want to steal that list of yours! :) It's awesome!

Mar, my ADD kicked in, plus I had several interruptions the other day, and I didn't get those links posted. Luckily I had saved them in a Word document, so here they are:

https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-test-adults/
https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/10-symptoms-adult-adhd

We're dealing with girl kitty's extreme reluctance to eat the new canned food with her antibiotic mixed in it. Hoping she's at least drinking some water. She looks thinner to me. She did lick a teensy bit of the food earlier, which could mean she's getting ready to crack. I hope so!

Having to barricade the cats in opposite parts of the house, as I mentioned earlier, makes for more hassle getting things done. The rabbits are in the back and we have to go round outside to get there. Will be glad when all this is past us.

I see a little notation below "Please upgrade to a supported browser to get a reCAPTCHA challenge." I hope I can still post this, because it's late and I really don't want to have to hassle with software updates, restart the computer, reload browser tabs, etc.

Doesn't it always seem that our tech decides to misbehave late at night or when we're trying to do something in a hurry? Murphy's Law of Computing, for sure.

Okay, fine. Saved it as a file on the flashdrive and posting from my tablet.

Hi again Tatoulia :)

OK great! lets make it a firm date to do more on that cabinet Monday! :D
Lets get that spooky cabinet gone through before doing a second pass on the cupboards.
Soon every storage place in your kitchen will be uncluttered, all monsters removed and orderly!
YEA!!! :D
Isn't it a wonderful feeling having that drawer to use and those silver forks to eat with!

I have been posting here ever since I asked Cory to let me make "The Daily Chat" thread.
I knew there were people who needed a safe place to come together for non judgmental comradery, advice, encouragement and friendship.
You all have proven I was right,
that together we CAN do it.

Love you all.
Sincerely, Tillie

Hi Subclinical :)
Back to your post...
WAY TO GO!!! for all you did today!
Sorry the milk must be dumped for the next nine days.
And that's so true about decluttering and decision making goes faster and gets a bit easier the more we do.
BIG YEA!!! that your floors are good, chairs unpiled and surfaces are better than they were before! :D
Plus you did GREAT not bringing in anything but eggs.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
You have come such a long way to get to where you are today.
Your being drug free is something I cherish every day. (((HUGS)))
And I am very happy you don't spend your time dumpster diving like Steven does to get free stuff.
I understand your fear of animals taking over if you are not present every day & night.
Please keep working on plans for the earth bag room or some other alternative while you continue to reclaim your home for humanity. ;D

Awww Tillie thank you.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. With all of you

Tillie, when I first started here it was you, LR and Diane. And I was so warmly received and I couldn't believe it. And everyone kept telling me to drink water.

I have still two areas that need a first pass. One of them I started, the cabinet. I will need everyone's help to get back in there. I'm thinking Monday, since that is trash night. I'll need to muster my strength. And some of yours!

I also need to do a second pass on my upper kitchen cabinets.

I am so happy with that one drawer being cleared and now used for my grocery tote bags. So much easier than have them at the ready. And not laying around.

Hi Tatoulia :)
I am looking forward to working with you as you continue to fine tune your home.
How wonderful that it is turning into a happy place like your childhood home. (((hug)))

I too feel my time is running out.
I have been doing that Swedish death cleaning.
There is a lot I don't talk about here concerning my health.
There is nothing I can do about Steven, Oh Well.
But I have been evaluating my possessions as to what I want here with me at the end.
Only what I truly love, enjoy or use.
Supposedly sentimental things will end up for grabs by the circling buzzards when I go so I may as well cash them in myself now.
There is nobody in my life to will them to and if there were I would gladly give it to them now.

Tatoulia (((hug))) :)

Anonymoniker and Subclinical

I feel that today we all made great progress working together.
Being so open and totally honest with each other.
I believe that this has opened up new horizons for us all.
I loved you both before and after the talks today I understand and love you both even more.

Without each and every one here I do not know where I would be today.
You all give me encouragement and the courage to carry on. (((HUGS)))

Tillie! Well aren't we a lively bunch this night! Sorry I was such a bugger! I love your story about the shoes and falling through the ice. Heartbreaking.

Tillie I feel like my time on earth is limited. (Of course of is). I need to be comfortable at home. And I need to guard against bringing stuff in. I want more to go. I want to get rid of more.

Anony I have never acknowledged your past drug abuse. What incredible strength you have. We love you. I love you. SubC I stand right by your side. Today and every day. Because of you I will not use a plastic straw. And that makes me feel good. I look at packaging in a whole new way.

Hey kids I love you both so much. Forgive my momentary defensiveness. Tomorrow is a new day and I am confident we will be back in sync. I was taking a leap of faith that I could speak up without losing you.

I just meditated for 40 minutes and I feel better. But mainly I feel better because I have you for friends.

Do you know what's kind of funny? And I realized it today? That my house is starting to resemble the house I grew up in. It's getting a coordinated, rather posh living room and my "library/study area" is reminding me a bit of our study growing up. I've managed to create some of it (giant kudos to my artist friend) while living in about a fifth of the space.

And you all here have helped me. And from the bottom of my heart, I needed you then and I need you now.

Thank you again for being here for me.

I was really enjoying learning so much more about Subclinical and Anonymoniker with this free exchange.
Everybody telling how we think and feel about our possessions.

So very sorry Tatoulia if we made you feel criticized or unwelcomed in any way.
It was never our intention. (((HUGS))) :(

Like I said this morning, we are all at different places in our lives and we have all come from such different and varied life histories.

:(

I also was not trying to imply that your viewpoint was in any way invalid! I thought I was actually clear that I saw both as valid?

I also don't think it is opposite, but I do think it is different - you are further along in your decision making and able to look at things and value them honestly as far as what they mean to you personally, and that is great! (Magazines, no, China, yes!) but I think being able to do that is an important part of the not regretting.

When I first started clearing out, everything that had a memory was important. And when I realized I couldn't keep it all, I started using secondary traits to cull some if it, and I think that is why I missed some things. Because sometimes it turns out that a ratty old comic book was actually more important than a pretty scarf pin that you can actually wear.

So I felt like I needed to support being in a place where you need to keep both the comic book and the scarf pin until you get to where you really understand what matters to you and why.

And I would say "don't use other values to cull sentimental items." But when I was doing it, I thought "keep the stuff that serves more than one purpose - sentimental AND useful." And if it had worked well for me (and in some cases it did) I might be suggesting it to people - because it's a valid viewpoint. It just turned out to be not the best approach for me. and "keep everything that seems important now, work on refining your values later" is also a valid viewpoint. But they are not opposite, just different approaches to the problem.

And I did say that I thought you had decided the sentimental stuff (books example) was not as valuable to you as it once was and the space (for China example)was worth more than the stuff (books example) I may not be there, but I am taking note of your example.

The reason i reacted that way about my Grandmother's things is because i realized just this week that she was the only person that ever stood up for me & defended me from my Mother's relentless criticism & anger towards me. Ive been crying a lot over that the past few days. I was just reflecting how i felt, not being in opposition of anyone else. Im sorry if you saw it that way, Tatoulia. I did not mean anything more than my own view of my own life. ~♡~

Tatoulia? What made you feel criticized or unwelcome? We are each speaking from our own experience & situations. You have made wonderful progress & been incredibly inspiring & supportive. I dont understand what made you feel that way? Please know that we all love you & our own paths do not negate yours, in any way.

Please don't cast me as having an opposite viewpoint. I am terribly sentimental. Best value there is.

The thing that was hardest to give up was the idea that I'd ever have a house, a yard, a basement and an attic. That was really, really hard. It was really hard to have to decide which items are actually sentimental and which I've attached a false sentimentality to. I have my great grandmother's chair and I sit in it at my desk every single day. I have her embroidered handkerchief, framed and hung on my wall. A woman I never met and who died at age 52. I am a firm believer in sentiment. I just had to give myself a break. It was so hard, I've been on here for four years trying to get my house back. When I first moved here, my place was the one that everyone in the building came to. My downstairs neighbor would do the cooking and my upstairs neighbor and basement neighbor would come over. I miss doing that. I miss having people over.

I know I'm being defensive but I support us all. I do not recommend getting rid of anything if you're not ready. I just want space back. I need a clean place again. I believe in having sentimental things?we are not on opposite viewpoints. Not for a second. I got rid of sentimental things by redefining sentiment. My years in grad school were so happy and yet, I let go of my books. I absolutely believe in keeping whatever needs to be kept.

My mother once begged me to keep her piles of magazines once she's gone. I told her that's a terrible burden, I'd rather make room for her wedding china. And I use it and I love it. I had to give up four shelves of books to keep my mother's china, but I needed to balance my books vs something of my mother's.

My decisions will continue to be hard for me. My lack of regret is a gift and I know that. Please don't cast me as having an opposite, invalid viewpoint. We are all on the same team.

What? Tatoulia, I just saw your post.

What did I do to make you feel criticized or unwelcome?

I am sorry! I think what you have done is amazing and you inspire me to keep working on my house!

Because I think wanting to keep your sentimental stuff is a valid viewpoint? I do. But it's not the only viewpoint. I think for you, the sentimental stuff had lost it's value and was not worth giving up your space for it. And that is fine. And I am glad you gave not missed any of it! I just don't want Anony (or anyone else) to feel like there is something wrong with their they would - both ways to be are ok.

One huge thing I have been working on is getting the word "should" out of my vocabulary.

It is going the speed it is going. Sometimes I have to remind myself that any day I do a thing that won't have to be done again tomorrow is progress - it puts me that much ahead tomorrow. And the work is not linear, it builds on itself. So if you think "but at this pace it will take me 109 years to get to the finish line" - it is not true. As you work on the environment, it improves, you get stronger, things become easier, and progress happens!

My balance sheet feels weighted pretty heavily on the bad side today (I don't share everything here because some things are very outside the topic and I am lucky and have dh right here to support me, but it was a bad farm day) but I am trying really hard to focus on the progress I have made so I can build on it.

Dishes are running, got a load of laundry done, bunny is better groomed and can't hurt herself with her nails anymore. I made a pitcher of iced tea, and ice cream mix, so ice cream tomorrow.

My chairs are still unpiled, my floors are good, my surfaces are still better than they were July 31. I was able to lay hands instantly on my stockpiled wax paper and I know not to buy more, And there is a bowl in the closet with the beginning of a collection to take to the resale store - instead of that being in a trash bag. And I didn't go yardsaling. I brought nothing in but eggs (because of the new wormer I have to dump all the milk for 9 days)

Hello SubC and Anony. I feel criticized and unwelcome. I thought we were in this together.

~Wine clinks!~
Tillie & SubC, thank you so much for your concern & suggestions. I pretty much am doing what youd each suggested, its just going much slower than it should. It seems there are always things in the way of my progress, besides just my own procrastination. As far as buying more things, i dont do that at all anymore. I have to really push myself just to get what i really need. My shopping binge years were when i was wealthy, before the crash of 2008, and i was doing drugs then that were a big factor, too. Now, i have a bit of a hang up about shopping & dont even buy what i need.
The earthbag house is still in my plans, but a lot of research & planning still needs to be done. I know that if the rest of my place is hideous & disgusting, im not going to be happy, so im trying to get that all in a better place first. Im afraid once i do have another place to sleep & be, that the wildlife will totally take over the trailer & destroy everything i own. I just dont have the drive right now to take but so much on. Its super hot outside & inside. Replacing the bedroom A/C will help some. Its 90 in here now.
It has worked well for me to do what is in that quote, but its all so slow & hindered by constant critter battles.

Hi Subclinical :)
WTG! trimming Bunny's nails! :D

At the tack & feed store here they have a lot of different products for use on different animals.
Here they have a whole section on products specifically for use with rabbits.

When I still had my dog, Cocker Spaniel, there was an organic ear wash soap that I got there for her.

The label said it was approved for use on dogs, cats and rabbits.

Maybe near you is a tack & feed store with something natural for use on rabbit fleas?

Hi Anonymoniker :)
So very sorry about those nasty cheese eating %$#& ants.

We were flooded with pissants this year and nothing worked until in desperation I got some of those ant bait traps.
Was really surprised when they also worked on the smaller reddish brown biting ants too.
bought them at Dollar Tree, box of 4 for a dollar.

Please listen to Subclinical.
She has given you some sage advice. ;D

Anony, we posted at the same time.

I worry so much about your house. I feel like if you just had a critterproof dry place to start, you could do so much!

Do you have a plan for the earthbag house, or did it become overwhelming? Do you know about Permies.com? They might have building ideas you can use? Just to have a room with a door and a window and no water leaking in and no bugs or skunks where you could sleep and keep your most important things.... it would give you a starting point.

Yes, the part Tillie quoted - just keep doing that!

As you keep moving through your home making it cleaner and more organized:

Use (or trade or sell) the things you have when you need to.
Get rid of the things you are sure you won't need.
And don't buy anything unless you are sure you need it right then.

And when you find something sentimental that is important to you, hopefully you will have a clean, safe place to put it where you can enjoy it.

I cut the bunny's nails. I am still finding fleas. :(

Tillie, thank you so much for your comforting words. You are such a dear, but it clearly isnt enough. Ive gotten very little done, especially considering i have almost no other responsibilities. The critters are running the show right now & i cant seem to win the battle. I know we all have different situations & stages of progress, but even if i could just get my place clean id be thrilled. I cant even discuss what is in my way of activity now & for the past few days & the next few days. Its very depressing. I did clean my water filter & found the back flush washer thing, which is useless. I got some sunflower seeds planted for sprouts, which means watering it 3 times a day with this heat for almost a week for one salad, and if i go out for the day in between, theyll die. Right now everything seems completely futile. I casually brushed the tiny cheese crumbs off the counter & now a ton of tiny stinging ants are covering the floor. Ive used everything on them. They dont care. Ill just have to wait for them to finish the cheese. I rarely even get cheese. I rationalized it cuz itd be a treat for the cats too. My visit on Waltons Mountain is almost over since i only have the 1st season. The Waltons had it quite cushy compared to me, believe it or not, Great Depression or not...

" What ive been doing so far is just tossing things that im sure of it being ok to let go of. "

And Anonymoniker
that's alright.
You have been working very hard to improve your place.
You have been cleaning up the bits of rubble that are obvious trash outside.
You have been cleaning up spooky spider hangouts.
You have been finding things that you see no use for ever in your life.

Please don't think what you are doing is not good enough.

Like I said, we are all at different places and circumstances in our lives.

Please keep posting about your thoughts and emotions as you continue to find newer and better solutions to your living conditions.

NOBODY here is telling anybody what to let go of.
That is such a personal decision as to what we keep or not.

Do not measure your accomplishments against anybody else.
Celebrate every little thing you do to make your home a nicer place to be.
(((((HUGS)))))

My years of shopping binges & stockpiling saved me during my severe poverty a few years ago. It was like having a savings account for trade barter, and things to sell, when the stock market took all i had. The things i bought excess of, like wax paper type items, allowed me to use them, rather than not have any to use. My financial situation is very shakey still. I have no income, nor anyone supporting me with an income. I dont know what i will do if/when i run out of money this time. All of this makes it difficult to toss things that may, again, help me survive. What ive been doing so far is just tossing things that im sure of it being ok to let go of.

We are all individuals who are at different places in our lives and have all traveled such different paths.
But we meet here today with one goal in mind.
To make our homes safe and comfortable sanctuaries.

Things like wax paper and having one in use and one tucked away for later in the cupboard is what I like to have.

I have all my favorite vinyl LP records (about 100) and a record player to play them.

I also have all my favorite music CDs (about 40)that I play on my Blu-Ray player.
I also have my favorite Blu-Ray and DVD movies (about 80).

The only online service I pay for is Netflix and I have no other ways to play music that would play all my favorites.

I have spent time doing a lot of thinking about what my priorities are and having these things are one of my priorities.

Sentimental things...
My Granma's charm bracelets were not dear to me.
I have many other things of her's that are.

But mostly people would think I am not sentimental because it's not the items that mean much to me, it's the memories I truly treasure.


About poverty and homelessness...
in my life I have found that being free of excess, having only the bare necessities have helped me better than trying to stockpile too much for "Justin Case".
I have always been able to find what I need to survive.
And sometimes my survival depended on being able to get up and go, leaving it all behind.


Like my cousin who I affectionately call Huckleberry.
When he was 16 he got hired on to work as a carpenter's apprentice.
His first paycheck he bought his very first pair of new shoes.
All his life he went barefoot or borrowed a pair of shoes from someone when needed.
His new shoes meant the world to him, he was so proud.
One night walking home from work he took a short cut over the frozen lake.
It was too early in the Winter yet and the lake was not yet solidly frozen over.
He fell through the ice.
Struggling to save his life all alone out there in the dark he knew the shoes were dragging him down deeper into the lake.
He finally knew he had to kick off and lose forever his shoes.

Sometimes we need to let go to save ourselves.

Anony, I am completely opposed to tossing out useful or sentimental things. And I have gotten rid of things and regretted it.

Here is more where I am:

If I know I will use it eventually - I keep it. I just now searched my kitchen for waxed paper and couldn't find any, so I went down to the basement and got a new box roll of waxed paper. I can't remember the last time I bought waxed paper, but I know from the clearance tags it was 25 cents a roll. I may never have to buy waxed paper again because I don't use it very often. If I got rid of it, I could use the storage space for about two shoeboxes worth of something else. I don't have two shoeboxes worth of something else i'm currently willing to buy storage space for (I would eventually have to buy some waxed paper) so it stays.

If I have no idea when or how I will use it and somebody else can use it - I give it to them. Sometimes by
donating it to a charity shop so the someone else can find it.

If I don't need it right now and my kids need it, I give it to them.

If it appears useless and can be recycled or composted, I do that.

If it is definitely trash and I can't imagine any way for it to be useful or it will cause problems by staying around, I put it in a trash can somewhere. (Usually the grocery store parking lot because it is usually plastic food packaging. (Sometimes I struggle with this - like with styrofoam - might become useful, might become recyclable...)

If I love it or it means something to me, I keep it.

If it is supposed to mean something to me, or might mean something to someone else, but I don't really like it, I feel guilty and frustrated and I keep it.

I think it is that last category that is where we need to work on releasing "sentimental" things.

As for useful things (like your obsolete music devices) I think it is ok to keep them if they can be used and you aren't sure you won't need them and it would be hard to replace them - that is where poverty makes things hard. But if you are giving up something else more important by keeping them "Incase" (like a healthy environment) then they have to go. However, wanting to keep them might help you identify other things that should go instead....

~Good Morning to all!~
Ive been struggling to decide whether to post my honest, but unpopular thoughts on my experiences with tossing out sentimental things & especially electric & tech things. For instance right now i dont have music cuz its through my phone & im out of high speed data. I bought more, but it wont work. I found 3 walkman style cd players in that gross area i cleaned. They will easily fit in my tub of cds, which would give me the option of music, if needed. I plan to pull them out of my trash bag. This sort of thing has actually happened a lot, but i havent posted it cuz its not in line with our growth philosophy. For me, hanging on to older tech things that i need that have become obsolete has been wise many times over. Also, the thought of tossing my Grandmother's things makes me cry. Also, i have memories of hard times,that i survived by being creative, that remind me that im strong. I cant figure out why its different for me, but if id had regular trash pick up & couldnt retrieve things, id have a lot of regrets, so my rule has been, when in doubt, dont throw it out. I know yall are way ahead of me with your progress, but if i did have regrets, i would not want to keep going at all. Avoiding regretful tossing of things has seemed to work well for me?

Good Morning :)

Hi Subclinical :)
Great job you are doing there taking care of all your creatures, great and small. (((HUG)))
WAY TO GO! for all you have done already today!
Happy you are not going to that big yard sale.
You seem to do very well finding what you need at your thrift shop and yard sales are physically exhausting with too many temptations. (((HUGS)))

Hi Tatoulia :)
The chairs sound beautiful.
No wonder Kitty likes her's. ;)
Hope you are able to get your Mom's nighties all sorted out so she has enough to wear between washings.
Maybe you could read "Digging Out".
It tells about "Hazard Reduction".
Where we just keep the home safe and not fuss about the clutter.
Trash out, open paths, no fire dangers, no spoiled/out dated food, pet care/cleaning, etc.
This is what I do in Steven's bedroom and am always trying to do in the garage/yard/carport.
No reason to stress your Mom out as long as she is safe and happy. (((HUG)))

Going out to water in a few minutes.
Thin smoke in the air, not at all like before.
Last night the smoke smelled wonderful, like incense.
Like a lovely exotic forest was burning down.
This weekend is predicted to be a bit cooler before the heat returns next week.
My plan is to just enjoy breathing. ;)

Good to see your sense of humor is helping you cope, SubC! Playing to your strengths!

I have no plans for today. Good feeling.

Today is the big yard sale day in the little town next door.

I am not going. (One of the advantages of this detached/indifferent feeling is that it makes that a whole lot easier - play to your strengths...)

Dh will be home at 1:00 today and he told me I have to have an accomplishment list. (Actually he said "don't just sit on the couch with your computer or book, ok. I'll be home at 1 and you can tell me what you did.")

So far I filled out my calendar for August, did my chores, and started a load of laundry.

SubC great news on bunny! And good work getting the goats taken care of! You are doing a good job and I know it takes extra effort due to the apathy.

Tillie the chairs are ice blue upholstery and I actually have some pillow cases that closely match. I had one on the chair in the bedroom but it's the living room chair she's fallen for. I'll vacuum today and put a pillow case on it. The chairs are round with cane sides and upholstered backs and seats. So I think she likes the comfort of being in a rounder space and the cane is both open and closed. The one I've kept in my living space is next to my desk and faces the hallway. Prime viewing spot.

I went to do laundry and there's an earlier bird on their second or third load! So I will do tomorrow or later in the day.

I'm enjoying coffee right now. Delicious.

I'll take mom out tmr. It's way too hot and humid today. I may stop up as I bought her a few very nice cotton nighties a few nights ago. I know she told me about six months ago no more nightgowns but the expiration date on that is passed. Plus I found out that for several nights she had nothing to wear to bed because she hadn't done her laundry and she wouldn't let me pay someone to do it. (Her assisted living includes weekly sheet and towel service and all other laundry is paid for). I'll try to see if there are any nightgowns she might be able to say goodbye to. I don't want to press her too much. While my friend visited with her in a seating area in the hallway, I did gather up some garbage and take it out. I don't know how she stands it. But I'm not going to press her any further. It's too upsetting for her. I did a few years ago get rid of books with her and then when she was in the hospital I organized and put things away but she's now pulled everything out again. I am not going to put her through this anymore. I'm just going to pick up the garbage and leave it at that.

Oh, and bunny's sore foot spot is all better - going to try to cut her nails tomorrow. Still finding a few fleas.

Quick check in.

Gave the goats their shots - much more tiring than I expected.
Worked in the studio a little - cleared off some floor - mostly moved stuff, returned on natural item to nature and put one small item in the trash bin.
Rode the bike.
Fell a little behind on all the maintenance, but only brought in milk, eggs, and mail.

Hi Tatoulia :)
So happy that Miss Kitty really likes that new chair you bought just for her. ;D
Since I personally have no use for pillow shams, whenever they come with something I want I just call them little cat quilts and put them on places where cats like to nap to make it easier to keep the fur contained and the seats user friendly for humans.
Plus they look pretty.
Glad you had time out with your friend. :D
You are such a gem for your Mother. (((HUG)))
Whenever you are ready, we can encourage, motivate and nag you to tackle "That Cabinet" or where ever else you are brave enough to go.
Stay cool and sleep well (((HUG)))

Tillie, you got a lot done today! I hope you were able to get the 4 gallons in okay. Oh boy. Wildfire diet. No good!

I'm sure that you noted that most of my list was what I absorbed through you and others here. I thought I could use the list as I continue on my way. Plus I want that hear what other people have to add to it.

Met a girlfriend for dinner then we stopped by mom's with a treat or two: Bubbly water and an ice cream sandwich. Then I walked friend down to train station despite the heat. I was glad to get a bit of a walk in tonight. And I had a cold water with me.

I have AC on and will be going to bed soon. Too hot to do anything. I did change my sheets today so perhaps an early morning laundry. All of my dishes are in the dishwasher but I likely won't run it until tomorrow.

Kitty isn't eating but I get it. We both understand. She is lounging to one of my new chairs. It is perfect for her. And it looks so pretty in my apartment. And she is always on it. Naturally we are experiencing a lot of cat fur on it. I will vacuum it and my couches over the weekend.

Hoping to continue to downsize this weekend. I would like to further work on my closets. I should also venture into the cabinet again. You know the one.

Cm I forgot to tell you how enamored I am with your writing style on the cat urine issues.

Well thank you everyone for letting me bask in the glory of Cory's note today. It was a giant surprise. I feel really good.

Good Afternoon Everybody :)
Iced tea "CLINK!"

Hi Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO!!! How sweet of Cory to congratulate your success!
I really like your list and I love your thought processes! (((hug)))
There have been things that I have been given and told that I must hold on to them forever (like Granma's charm bracelets).
Well, I got rid of them and "NOTHING BAD HAPPENED".
Isn't it amazing when the things no longer have a hold on us or power over us? ;D


Hi CriticalMass :)
Good luck getting Kitty to take her medicine (((HUGS)))

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Yes, air is too often taken for granted, underappreciated.
Good luck figuring out a solution to that annoying window.

Went to town, paid the property tax bill in full for the next 12 months.
Filled the water jugs. Even though they are 5 gallon jugs I only ever put in 3 gallons of water because that's all I can carry.
But the machine is malfunctioning and put in 4 gallons of water at the price for 3 gallons.
Oh Well...
Went by the thrift shop to see a friend who I knew had surgery this week.
He dropped by there just to let us all know how he's doing.
Tired and pain but otherwise all went well. :D
There is an accurate weight scale for sale at the thrift store where I weigh myself.
Since was last there I have lost almost 5 pounds!
I do not recommend the wildfire smoke diet though ;P

Thunderstorm here and it's light out so I bet we get a rainbow! I am having a very productive day at work, and for that I am grateful.

CM enjoy your errands. It is so hard to get cats to take medicine. Really awful. Anony, that just goes to show how absolutely awful it is to be depressed. When I am depressed at its best everything seems hopeless and at its worst there is no point to any of it. Treat yourself well.

I think I should take stock right now. I still have miles to go but here are lessons I've learned so far. From you and others here, from reading other articles, and from living it:
1. I do not miss even one thing that I got rid of. Not one. Not my grandfather's desk, not the bookcase I had as a child. None.
2. Just because today I might be able to think of a use for, say, that small blue dish, it doesn't mean that I need it or that it is as a mistake to get rid of it.
3. Holding onto things for Justin Case is useless and futile.
4. Its okay to get rid of stuff I puchased for projects I never did. I called those items Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
5. My tastes have changed in time. Because I loved it then doesn't mean I have to love it now or that I need to keep it forever. I can let someone else love it or if all the love was used up, it's okay to toss.
6. Do not try to pass my unwanted stuff onto others. Goodwill is a great place.
7. I don't need multiples of things. I just don't.
8. I'd rather have the pain of wishing I had bought 2 than the pain of having bought 14.
9. When I'm shopping and see something cute, I don't need to buy it.
10. When did I become the person who buys stuff then decides who to give it to?
11. Do not tell mom what I've chosen to live without.
12. I will be taking nothing with me when I die.
13. Shredding my diaries was hard but I kept the indices. (You can laugh that I kept indices)
14. Don't buy a bunch of organization things. They just become physical reminders that you haven't made progress.
Make progress first, then see what you need.
15. Rubber gloves and face masks are nice.
16. Keep going. Don't stop. I tried to live with all the stuff, now time to live without it.
16. Accept all help. Twice I had a friend visiting who cleaned my kitchen. Then last month my overseas friend moved all my furniture and made me get rid of even more stuff. Fantastic.
17. Some things I love because of the memories and some things I held onto because of who gave them to me. Still no regrets at tossing/donating.
18. Support is everything.
19. Emptying the dishwasher takes about 4 minutes.
20. Space is an object!!!

Add to the list!!! I know I'll be adding to it!

Thanks for letting me take stock. Now back to work for me.

Quick drive by as it's payday and I'm going to go out & run some errands.

Kitty's crushed-up medicine is in her special wet food. She won't touch any of it. But the other kitty did the same thing, for two days, then started eating it. So I hope we'll get the same results this time.

Just wanted to drop these links for Mar, and say that I've seen studies that link ADHD with hoarding more even than OCD. My experience bears it out - I can see which thing contributes to which aspect of my hoarding fairly well. I'm not trying to say you have ADHD, Mar, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you might...anyway, the articles are interesting and worth a look just to see.

Everyone stay well and safe.

Oh and Tatoulia, congrats, and Cory thanks for all you do for us - you're a rockstar! :)