Good Morning

He has finally gone back to work today!
He took Friday and Monday off to use up some of his days off time from work rather than lose it at the end of the year.
He spent a lot of the time sorting/sifting through that hoard between the back door and garage door.
There is a noticeable difference. The footpath is wider now and the heaps/piles at the edge are not as tall as they were before.
I think he may be trying to make room for the huge amount of clutter/hoard that's under the now 'dangerously precariously hanging down ready to completely collapse at any time' far side of the carport roof.

Anyways...
Very cold today. 55 degrees in the house.
Have a load of laundry to hang out.
Need to carve my pumpkin.

Tillie, you are a great cheerleader!

I made apple sauce.

It took 14 hours. The first three hours were getting the kitchen and scullery clean enough to make apple sauce.

I also lost an hour when a jar broke and I had to empty, refill, and reheat the canner.

I will end up with 21 quart jars of applesauce. This is neither cost effective or practical, but the applesauce is so much better than anything I can buy.

I wish I had made twice as much - next year. A batch in September and a batch in October. There were also some inefficiencies in the process due to things I forgot.

And I hate my canner. It is too wide for my stove and too short! Why do they only make canners 9 1/2" tall? They boil over constantly. It is messy and frustrating. I looked online and couldn't find a taller canner, but I did find someone suggesting a tamale steamer (13.5" and it has a rack) dh said I can buy one if I get rid of the big steamer. I'm going to check it out at target.

The old things will be taken away when dh or ds takes them.

It will be so nice once the home renovations are finished and all the materials for this are no longer needing to be stored. :)

When can the old stove and water heater be taken away?
That is not a "woman" type chore. Those things are heavy and awkward.
Maybe someone can come help you get them loaded up.
I have that same problem here with anything we replace, the old units sit out in the way here for years.

I pictured your paper cutting table just as you described it.
Like the one we had in high school art class.

Two boxes of saved jars is not bad since you use them.
Good that you don't waste your precious time on the jars that have tenacious label glue.


Little by little the kid's things are being taken to their new homes.
So a little more storage space is needed for them for now.
So nice your dolls no longer need to be stored but are nicely displayed.

Remember you were sickly weak & tired with anemia for quite a long time and couldn't function much.
Even still you kept up with whatever you could manage.
Don't be discouraged by what still needs doing.
Look at what you have done and know that in time, you will eventually get your home sorted out, functional and a lovely place for both you and your DH. :)

Good morning!

The basement is divided - my half is split into two rooms with the stairs down the middle, and his half is a big empty space. The problem is that you have to walk through my half to get to his half. My half also has the water heater, the heat pump, the chest freezer, a dehumidifier and the pantry cupboards in it. Also my egg/milk fridge - all of which need space around them and paths to them. He gets upset when the paths are less than 3' wide.

He let me put my exercise bike in his half.

Switching halves would not work because of heating and finishing issues.

The studio barn is semi divided - there are defined shop spaces, year round parking spaces, and a pottery only area. But then there is a big area that is storage/projects/winter parking.

When I cleaned out my pottery area to make it more functional, I moved a bunch of stuff into that space (I also moved an entire carload to my son's house, some things to my basement, and some things away forever.)

Also in that space right now is all the flooring for the addition, the window trim, and 5 huge beam covers that were recently delivered. Dh us finishing the beam covers and putting them up (there were 7) and he needs space to store and space to work. The old electric stove from the old kitchen that needs to go to the recycling is still there (there is also a dead water heater in the garage. I can't lift either thing alone and the whole experience is not woman friendly.)

The pick-up needs to be parked inside now or it won't start. That is what happened yesterday.

At the moment, the paper cutting table has become a dollhouse stand. Each of my kids had a dollhouse. Dd1 took hers. Ds's is buried in the mixed pile in the studio barn. Dd2's is now on my 3'x3' paper cutting table. (The surface of the table is ruled and there is a giant blade on one side that needs to be sharpened.) I have had it for about three years and only used it as a table to park things on in my studio. A friend was getting rid of it because she thought it was dangerous and also she couldn't sharpen the blade. Dh (unlikely) or ds could sharpen the blade for me. I might ask ds when he is here for Christmas. I might wait.

Thing I didn't remember to say - dd2 works for a company that designs clothes. She brought each of us a t-shirt when she visited this weekend. So I am up a t-shirt. (I try really hard to tell you guys everything I get except normal weekly food. And clay. I only buy clay as needed because it is expensive compared to anything else I buy and never goes on sale. I don't think I get very much?)

Also, I save jars because they are useful and I am a teacher (last week I used two saved jars to take spiders to class) but I only have one large box and one small box of saved jars. Enough to do a project with one class. I give them to other teachers if they ask. Yesterday I looked at the counter in the scullery and made a decision - if the labels on the jars leave behind gook when they come off, I will not attempt to remove the gook. I will just recycle the jar. The jars are not worth it.

Yeah,
it is very difficult when there is no place else to put things to make room.
Can the big paper cutting table do duel work, multitasking?
That way he could see that it is a very useful table for you.
You two share the space in the basement and studio barn.
Is there any way you can divide the spaces so you have your space and he has his in these areas?
A line down the middle type agreement?

What I had to do here was to make all the inside of this tiny house my territory (except his bedroom) and let him have all the carport, huge garage (including the full loft) and yard, except the tiny square I call my garden.
He was the one who told me I could store the space heaters and a few other things in one tiny specific area of the garage he chose to give up.
If I could eliminate the freezer in the pantry I would be able to store that stuff in there.

I know you are working hard to get things organized and any excess eliminated.
You also tend to the animals, school work, food bank, housework, pottery, home improvement, etc. and family.
I feel that you need some space that you don't have to move your things out of.
You also need time.
Time to keep up the great job you have been doing sorting out and finding permanent homes for the keepers.
Doing this all by yourself takes time.

He tries to give me warning, but sometimes he doesn't realize he'll need a space until he needs it, and often he underestimates how big a job he is asking me to do.

Also, when he is waiting and he sees me shifting around things that he thinks should just go, he gets angry.

He was very sweet today and helped me carry my big paper cutting table back to the house and put it in the basement. He did it grudgingly and said "you are never going to use this." But he did it.

He also feels like once an area is cleaned out, it should stay cleaned out. But sometimes stuff comes in faster than it goes out, and my process is iterative - I will bring things into more active space or shift them into less active space depending in what I am working on, and sometimes the quantity gets reduced as things move, but sometimes the group gathers up more "like" things from elsewhere.

And a lot of stuff is like the dolls were for so long - I move the stuff for him, but then he eliminates the storage and the stuff can't go back, so it is now crowding a new area with nowhere to go...

I'm glad someone lit a fire under Steven. Maybe they will keep fanning it for you.

Good Evening everybody

Hi Subclinical
So very sorry your DH is angry.
Wish there was a way to help both of you through this.
Would asking him to point out to you areas he needs you to focus on so that he can do the things he needs to do?
Not everything, not all at once, just so you have time to get moved out of his way before he needs the space?
With Steven I am just wasting my breath explaining what I need moved so that I can get to the area where I need to get to, to do what I need to do.

Finished up all the little projects I had started the other days and have everything put away where ever it goes again.
Did not give in to the lure of napping with a cat today.

Think somebody possibly said something to Steven about his hoard...
Today he has been busy sorting out, straightening, decluttering and actually going through the huge heap piled/stacked up between the back door and the garage door.
I have seen him take a few things out and put into the truck and a few things taken out to the trash can.
There is a noticeable difference out there in that small area.
Nothing I have ever said has ever gotten him to do anything like this, so must be someone else he is doing this for.

Today I did not remove anything from the basement. Instead I moved things from the studio barn into the basement because dh needs space to work and park equipment out of the weather. He is mad at me about the mess again. And about cancelling the garbage service.

I still have not started the applesauce, and I am afraid that is going to be another epic fail.

I did a little pottery today, so not nothing, but it has not been going well.

I'm trying to be positive, but it's hard when dh is angry. He is so very patient. We've been married 28 years - how long should a person have to wait for a functional home? I really am trying. But I also know I could do better if i focused more.

Good Morning

Hi Subclinical
YEA! for not gaining back the 2 pounds.
WTG! continuing to find something daily to remove from the basement!
So true, at first it is easy to find something but then choosing gets harder when we've gotten the stuff reduced down.
Too many things seems to still have potential and possibilities.

Have made a big mess of things here.
Started too many different projects, tasks and then run out of steam and motivation before completing them.
Then I curl up on the couch with a cat and sleep until it's time to go to bed.
Maybe today I will finish something and eliminate at least one little pile of assorted
miscellaneous.

Hi Tillie,

You sound like you are recovering.
It's good that you are able to do things around the house.

Tatoulia, your post is so funny! I don't think I could have a good time with a friend who"talked constantly so I could not concentrate.".but I am very glad you are having fun!

Today was a hard day for me because it was cold and wet and dark. My dd2 is home and she helped me with a few things, but they are computer things for work, not real world things.

I am still getting something out of the basement every day. It gets harder and harder.

I did some laundry.

I have not lost any weight in October, but I have not gained my 2 lbs back.

I lost my credit card. I was not worried because I know I lost it in the house, but I was frustrated because I can't think of anywhere else to look. If we report it lost, they will send us new ones, but dh's will stop working while we wait. And it expires in nov of 19.

I told dh "I don't know what to do. They won't send me a new card for a year." And he said "actually, they are sending new ones next week. Our provider is changing and the number is going to be different, and it will be a complete pain because I have to change it everywhere it is linked.

But I don't link the credit card to anything, so for me, it is just lucky. I can stop looking. I can wait a week!

Hello everyone

Enjoy your company Tatoulia :D

Today I washed up some assorted cats things and window curtains.
Got out heavier window curtains and hung them up in my little room.
Sorted through the bin where I keep cat blankets/quilts etc. found some things to let go.
Steven has the car because he is supposed to be having it serviced, hope he does that.
Last thing I want is to have any car trouble out on the road in Winter weather.
My apricot tree is so pretty this week.
Yellow, orange and apricot colored leaves.
When even a slight breeze blows, some leaves dance to the ground.

Quick drive by. I am having a wonderful time with friend but no down time whatsoever. Haven't read the posts, the friend talks constantly so I cannot concentrate. We are having a terrific time.

Washed the shower curtain and got it hung back up.

Did a lot in my little room.
My baby girl loved being in there.
Vacuumed up a ton of her beautiful white fur.
Used Murphy's oil soap and washed down everything.
Brought the little stuff to the kitchen sink and washed it all too.
Washed the kitty boogers off the window and dresser mirrors.
I always do this cleaning right before swapping out the light Summer curtains for the heavy Winter drapes and covering the window with plastic to keep the wind and ice out since it is on the North side of the house.

Going to go shower now and go to bed, even though it's only 6:20pm.

Good Morning

Got some sleep last night.
Thinking today I will do something.
Plan is to take down and wash the shower curtain and to use the vacuum attachment in my room and vacuum up all the edges & corners.

Hello

Hope your plumbing gets finished up CriticalMass.

I know that soon that table cloth will be on your table Subclinical.

So tired, so very, very tired.
Been doing very little other than cat tasks.
And cat tasks are sad to do.
The three remaining boys are clingy, needy and keep looking for her.
She made all the rules and dictated how things were to be.

Hi Tillie,

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm sorry your parents didn't do a better job. As a teacher, I started out intimidated by parents and feeling like they were judging me and hoping I didn't fall short. Now I judge them. I feel like the good ones are just hoping I will be good for their kids and want to work together. But sometimes I hate them. There are so many horrible but not reportable parents out there who think they are doing a good job. It's amazing anybody grows up healthy.

CM, I hope your plumber arrives! The dark is a very hard thing. Are you seasonal? I am entering the struggling part of the year.

My tablecloth arrived yesterday, but I have not started cleaning off the table. I still have a lot to do for the next two days of classes, I took on a new class to teach (dh is not happy about it, but I want to do it, I get paid and we are working to pay off debt and let him retire.), we are going out with friends tomorrow night, and this weekend is earmarked for applesauce.

Dd2 is coming home this weekend too.

Well, it's the second day since our guy said he would for sure be here (yesterday) and get the plumbing job done. We know he has the same kind of life we do, with crises frequently arising. But it sure would be nice if he would finally get here and we could have this limbo behind us!

I'm wanting to sleep in these darker mornings but that gets the day started so late and it goes by ridiculously fast. I'm not as depressed but I still wish the time would allow me to go at my own pace (right now, that would be "turtle") and still accomplish many things. Haha. I did get a few things to the storage unit but haven't really had a real "work session" there. It's supposed to start raining today and rain tomorrow.

The night routines have changed so much over this past year, ever since my roommate had to spend an extra hour doing that medication routine and somehow even though we each stay up later, we seem to be accomplishing less of an evening.

Just getting the bunnies exercised seems to take a long time, and the cats are still segregated so that makes getting through the house harder. The boy escaped into the front part of the house a night or two ago. No fur flew, but he was NOT happy to be put back into the back room and he meowed so much - I felt for him but it also kind of drove me nuts. He's calmer now though.

I didn't get the baseball playoffs watched this year but I'm listening to the World Series on radio (TV in back room broken). Rooting for the Dodgers but if the Red Sox win it I'll be chill. Don't have the energy to throw a fit!

Tillie, hope you're gradually recovering. Thanks for encouraging us. Tatoulia, thanks for the understanding about how difficult it is to do much when pulled in many directions! SubC I had to laugh at my reaction to your post - I would be keeping the cake, donuts, bread and almonds and giving the artichokes and parsnips to the chickens, LOL! Not that I need those things, but I'm not much of a veggie eater and I like my carbs. Too much, I admit.

Well, I guess I'll go see what I can piddle with and maybe get a little done of. One of these days, one of these days, right?

Hello

Putting household chores on the back burner for a while so that you can take the time to do other things is perfectly alright.
If we didn't we would never find the time to do projects or activities because with housework there is always something we could be doing there.
We just need to make sure the important things get done like animal care and cleaning up their areas.

That is a beautiful moon out there. :)

It is a misconception, a false belief that our homes are always to be perfectly clean and tidy every hour of every day.
That is unrealistic thinking because we live here and dust, dishes, laundry just happens.
Better to accept this truth and schedule in some time for doing projects, crafts, hobbies or just relaxing with a good book now and then.

All work and no play is from the puritan work ethics way of thinking.
My parents never allowed me to read or play because I could be doing some household chore as a more productive way to spend my time.
Trying to do school homework there was a nightmare.

Good morning.

A beautiful full moon is shining on me, and on Tillie who never gets rain, so I am sending my love in the moonlight.

Tatoulia, have fun with your friend.

I have lost my credit card. I used it to order the table cloth, and I did not put it back in my wallet, and I cannot find it. I want it to buy gas this morning. (I must buy the gas to get to work, but I have a little cash.)

I think I am going to change my projects list to projects and goals. I want to add swimming 50 nautical miles. It is 49 n. miles by water from my hometown to the mouth of the Potomac river.

Time to go do the milking...

Hello, hello everyone!

Glad to hear from you all. SubC I love that idea of doing something permanent vs temporary. I too sometimes think that when I count laundry or changing sheets, I'm not really making progress because those two things I always do. Even when I was really stuck.

Cm there is so much for you to think about and try to prioritize. I too would struggle trying to figure out the what's and where's. I hope some good bunny time will help.

Dear Tillie. Take good care of yourself. I am so sorry about losing the little one.

Friend comes tomorrow.

Keep moving Tillie. It will help. Grief is heavy.

I swam a nautical mile today. Making some progress on pottery. I am trying something new - I am deprioritizing regular housework. If I only have a few minutes, I will throw in a load of laundry or take care of some dishes, but if I have half an hour - I will do something more important. The house is messier, but I am doing better on other, "permanent" stuff. The dishes come back in less than a day, but the bucket of clay that is now four bowls and a clean bucket to take to school won't.

Hello friends

trying to get out of this deep depression best I can.
Sleep is broken, sporadic but I'm always just so tired, sleepy.
Keep up the wonderful progress you all are making every day even though you may not feel you've done anything, you have.
Take care of yourselves and each other (((HUG)))

Tillie, i'm Glad you are taking care of yourself. Take your time.

CM, hurray for a nice long post that posted!

I'm sorry plumbing is still such a deal, but glad you are getting rid of lead pipes!

I'm also sorry about your toad. So many things to take care of! I didn't realize you had amphibians.

Bunny time always makes me happier.

I totally understand that whole getting stuck with decision making thing. I have actually made myself a bunch of lists. "Things you can do early in the morning when dh is sleeping, things you can do while something is in the oven/on the stove, things you can do stuck on hold, things you can do in five minutes, things you can do in the basement when the wether is bad, things you can do othe porch if it is sunny but cold...." sometimes I lose the lists.

I went to the food bank today. I brought home one big box, containing: 4 cakes for the chickens, one box of donuts for me, one loaf of bread for me, one jar of artichokes for me, one bag of almonds for me, and a big bag of parsnips for me. The cakes and (2/3 of) the donuts are on the counter. The rest is put away. I put a lot of donuts away in me.

I also went to the Apple orchard. I want to make 4 dozen quarts, but I don't think I bought enough apples. It is just for us. To eat and bake with. However much I end up with, that will be enough for this year. I always buy too many apples. So this year I tried not to. I did buy a gallon of cider. Yum! (Goes well with donuts)

**Note - if this posts, I'll be glad - the Captcha is being hinky**

Hey friends,

Days went by faster than I realized.

Tillie - glad you are back, huge hugs and much empathy. Take it easy still. Grief is so draining.

I'm kind of blah at the moment. Our plumbing is in limbo. The kitchen sink did get completed, can't remember if I posted about that. But then he had to order more pipes - he's getting rid of old lead pipes. The new ones arrived, but what has probably happened is that our job dragged out and ran into the time for this other job he was telling us about.

I left him a voicemail today but haven't heard anything.

Washer is disconnected so we had to go to the laundromat Saturday. Almost forgot how, haven't had to in so long.

Off and on feeling semi-motivated then sliding into kind of a depressed state. Wondering if I'll ever have a better income stream and be able to afford a simple but nice place in a safe non-creepy neighborhood near my church (which is also near the neighborhood where I grew up, in case I never mentioned that).

It's the neighborhood where the house my dad built for us and that was foreclosed on is. My dream is to live in that area again, and if I am at peace in my soul and not so stressed and adrift, eventually I will be able to drive down my old street and look at the house and grieve and have closure. Maybe. A lot of prayer and discernment will be involved.

In the meantime, patience with this roommate situation - and I really feel for her at this time as well, because of all these recent expenses and stress. She is so vulnerable to stress related illness and winter is coming on. So I realize God's got us here to help one another out until both our situations improve. And she is a good friend. But I miss living on my own.

The animals are also needing some TLC at times - cat reintroduction has been slowed down due to construction and other delays. We have tried letting them see each other through a screen door. Girl hissed at boy. So we're not out of the woods yet.

Bunnies need to be supervised because I'm afraid one of them might chew on the vinyl floor in their play area. Which is fine, I want to spend time with them. Yet I feel tugged at by the stuff that needs doing in other places, both at home and away.

Going to make a sturdy denim quilt, nothing fancy, just a sandwich with batting between and tie-quilted with heavy thread. It will be for going into the bunny pen and lying on the floor with them. That's what I used to do back at my parents' house, and have been disconnected from in these other living quarters since. It's a happy thing to pet them, to have them nudge me and tickle me with their whiskers. I need it and so do they.

My little toad died, and blame myself because I procrastinated on getting her crickets. :( It's hard to admit that. I ran right out and got crickets for the frog; he's bigger so he is okay. All I can do is do better.

All that great motivation about getting to the storage in my last post - it just kind of faded away in the uncertainty as to whether we were going to be dealing with plumbing work or what each day, and my brain is just mush and indecision right now. I'm taking some vitamins that I had been neglecting to take - hopefully things that will help the ADD, anxiety, and depression. Sleep deprivation and such also is a thing these days.

Well, maybe I'll get back at least to a middle ground soon . . . maybe that excited mood I had was too good to last. There is still a predicted supply of nice fall days; I just pray they don't get wasted waiting and wondering.

Once again INDECISION is my enemy. Too many things, and I stink at that time management thing about what are the big priorities versus the smaller ones. That system just doesn't click for me. Then I tell myself, well, just start anywhere then. Yet I still don't. Ack!

I will do my best to post more often and tell of something I did against the clutter or other issues, and see how you all are doing. That may help. Hope all goes well for you.

Hi Tillie, thanks for stopping in. I'm glad you'll shower today. I'm so sorry about losing the kitty.

Hello

Thank you both so very much (((HUG)))

Nice to read your goings ons.

Subclinical
A pretty new table cloth will be wonderfully cheerful and a good motivation to clear off that table.

Tatoulia
you did a fantastic job helping your Mom!
So happy it went so well.

Still hurting, still lost, still so sad.
Trying to pull myself together.
Today I will shower and wash my hair.
Will also do some laundry and put clean sheets & pillow cases on my bed tonight.

Keep taking care of each other (((HUGS)))

Tillie I am sending you much love. Because of you and everyone else on here, my house is being cleaned top to bottom today and I am thrilled.

I have to agree, SubC, I would rather be peaceful than go into a room with improvement in mind! My friend is high energy, very neat and tidy. She's also very kind and non-judgmental. I did my first big cleanout so she could come here. Probably five years ago. And while I slept, she cleaned. And she kept making excuses for me so I didn't need to be embarrassed. She'd say stuff like, you work so hard, and I like doing it. Very sweet and kind.

My cleaners are coming at 9:30. Originally they said 8 so I got up to do a bit of scrambling like feed the kitty, do a little check for cat throw up and the like. Now I'm enjoying a cup of coffee on this brisk fall morning.

Very good idea regarding the tablecloth! I bet it will be pretty and such a great thing to strive for! You are working toward something concrete, which can be easier than the abstract!

Be strong at the food bank. Your house isn't a garbage can! I am paraphrasing from my nutritionist, who tells me, your body is not a garbage can, meaning, I'm not to eat food just because it's there or it will ?go to waste'.

Applesauce!!!!! How much do you make, do you can it and sell it?

Tillie, when you are ready to come back, we want you to know right away that you are loved and missed and we have been thinking of you and sharing your sadness, so I will keep posting to you. I hope you are finding some peace.

Today I go back to the food bank. I am going to tell them that I won't be there next week because I need the day if I am going to get applesauce made this year (I am not going to tell them the Because part.)

One box. At most.

I am still very sore this morning. My kitty usually curls up in my lap in the morning while I have my coffee, but he has pressed his warm little self against my sore hip today!

I am almost out of hay again.

Tatoulia, I understand your friend's approach, but I would find that exhausting. I still haven't gotten to the point where if I do notice a thing that needs to be done, I can just do it. There are too many. Things everywhere!

I have made a new challenge for myself. There was a beautiful fall tablecloth on sale from a store I really like. It is big enough for my big dining room table on the porch. Dh said I could order it. So, my tablecloth is coming. I picked slowest cheapest shipping, but it should still be here next week, so I now have to clear all the things off of the table so that I can cover it and make it look beautiful when the tablecloth comes.

SubC I like the idea of removing a thing a day! It is habit-building! The family friend who is visiting said that everytime she walks into a room, she thinks: what can I do to improve it? I am not even striving for that but it does help me every so often.

Thank you for the very good advice of not buying mom more clothes. I didn't realize I was overdoing it til you made the suggestion! Now I see the connection between some of her clutter and my role in it. I am the only one bringing things into her place.

Oh!! Big news, as I was folding one of her dresses to take upstairs, I felt something funny. I found a pocket with 55 dollars! A fifty and a five. Nice and crisp! Mom was thrilled!!!!!

Good work trying to treat your home as you treat the other studio. Hard to do. It's so hard to see the clutter. So hard.

I hope you've soaked in the tub. Take good care of that hip! I am all cozy with the fireplace and in my clean jammies.

Sending love to Tillie. I am just so sorry.

Tatoulia, i'm Glad things went so well with your mom and that you were able to help her clear out a bit.

Does she have anyone bringing things in besides you? I know you want to spoil her, but try not to bring her new clothes until after you "shop" her closet.

Tillie you are still on my mind.

I worked in the studio a lot today. I am trying to treat my studio with the same care and respect that I show the studio where I am a student. So I spent a lot of time cleaning up. I don't think it looks much better, but it is cleaner, and a bit more functional.

I have managed to remove at least one item - trash, recycling, or thing to put away somewhere else - from the basement every day since my mom left. Some of them were very small, but it is a habit I am working on.

This evening I am going to clean up, do my chores, and take a hot bath because my hip hurts from brush clearing yesterday and pottery today.

Ok I'm back from mom's. I kept my word and there were no harsh words. It went really well. I just came in and broke down some boxes from some supplies she had delivered and I took the boxes out. I quickly removed some gross stuff from her fridge and I went into her cabinet and got rid of some severely expired things. (I honestly thought I had taken care of all the things but I guess I was mistaken). We had a good laugh. Then I asked her if she'd like help putting her summer clothes away so I did. She lamented the lack of closet space and I said, I bet there's more than you realize and I pulled out things one at a time and everything I pulled out she no longer wanted. I only did one side of the closet. Some of the nicer dresses I took to a woman upstairs who consistently asks me for clothes. She was thrilled with what I brought and I hung up her new things for her.

I also found a beautiful skirt and blouse I'd bought her mom from Lord and Taylor that she's never worn. I couldn't believe it since they are just so pretty. But not her style, I guess. So I took those home with me to give to one of my cleaners. . Then some stuff went in a goodwill bag and other things were put into the trash. It went really well. I did no actual cleaning other than kitty's box. I also removed all of her wire hangers since they are only taking up space and she has very good sturdy hangers.

I took out most of her garbage and I'll have to swing by to get the stuff for goodwill.

So it went really well. She sat in her chair the whole time and we talked and I worked and she was so cute, saying that she was exhausted from all of MY hard work. She's lovely in every way.

So I am just out of the shower and will need to dry my hair so I don't get sick. It's a cool beautiful sunny windy fall day.

Good morning, everyone, and hello my dear Tillie.

It is just after noon here and I'm drying my sheets and doing a quick load of darks. My mother just called filled with self-loathing and frustration. She's upset that her apartment is such s mess. It's cluttered and dangerous but she won't get rid of a thing. Last week while hunting for something she lost, I found this ridiculous thing she bought YEARS AGO to send to someone and is now broken and missing pieces and she still wouldn't let me throw it out.

Today I took a breath when speaking with her and I told her I know how she feels, and yes, her place is just too small, and that i will come over and see her. I'm not going to nag about getting rid of stuff, I'm going to be helpful and empathetic and genuine. I may even ask an open ended question and say, is there anything here that bugs you that you wish were gone? I think that may be a place to go. I will not use words and phrases like, you have too much stuff, why are you keeping this, why is this useful, why do you still have this. I may decide to hold up an object and say, where do you want me to put this, but only if it is stupid and could make her decide to donate.

I will be a good person to an elderly person at the end of her life. I will let go of the mother-daughter dynamic and I will just treat her kindly, like she's the elderly person she is.

I'll get back to you with an accurate, candid report. If I need to check in, I will. Any and all suggestions, criticisms, comments, etc are welcome. This is about my mother's experience, not mine.

Hey everyone. Sending love to Tillie!!

My class today was part one of a two part cake decorating class! It's hard and I'm not very precise. But I had a good time. I did some laundry in the afternoon then BF took me for errands.

I now have two new pillows, new sheets, new towels and a new comforter for my friend's visit. I've washed it all but the comforter, obviously. I don't know where to put this stuff. I want it out of my way.

The wrapping came down today, SubC but the scaffolding is still up. They washed our windows today. I don't think they will be able to leave scaffolding up for long. We are all complaining too much. We are not impeding on the sidewal, luckily. That is interesting about industry practice.

I do not like this stuff all around my house. It's making me a bit cranky, which is ridiculous. I should see if I can possible clear off any space in my linen closet. I did put the clean sheets back in there and I'm wondering if the pillows could go there too.

The thing is, it was my job to get the speaker and I didn't. I don't even know why I didn't. I wasn't thinking about it. And I'm so ashamed of myself.

I emptied the dishwasher and did all of kitty's laundry. I'm now doing a load of PJs. I'm not sure if I have what it takes to change my sheets tonight.

It is nice and cool here, and I am happy.

I would love to see your work some day, SubC. Do you find your energy is back to normal now?

SHOUT OUT TO CM, LR, JOAN, ANONY, TESS, MAR and DIANE. did I miss anyone? Undoubtedly so.

They will probably leave the scaffolding in place until they need it for another job. It's cheaper and easier to move it directly than to store it and move it twice. The only exception is if they are likely to be ticketed by the municipality (blocking's sidewalk) or the work was done to be ready for an event - in which case clean up is part of the "before you get paid"

Dd works construction.

I'm glad you got your grates back up!

You are a volunteer. If they have someone else waiting for the job, maybe you should consider letting them have a turn. Otherwise, they get what they get.

Enjoy your class. What is it?

I have removed something from the basement every day this week. Some trash or recycling, some "goes elsewhere."

I brought home two large cooking vessels I made in my class.

I am falling back into "stop and drop" habits and "work until I am out of time and then walk away" which is leaving a lot of mess and disorganization in the house again. The weather has been changing and there are three coats of various weights on various floors, plus sweaters on chairs and couches. There are also several piles of classroom papers from this week. I gave a test and I have to check it.

Today is dh birthday. He wants me to work on clearing brush from the back field with him, and then we are going to dinner and a concert.

Hello everyone! Let's make Tillie proud and continue to share our accomplishments and plans while she takes care of herself.

CM, I do my best puttering with the music on! I stream pandora from my phone or iPad and I have a good quality Bluetooth speaker! It helps me get things done!

I am mentally preparing for friend's visit. Cleaners come on Monday and then I pick up friend on Wednesday.

I have been embarrassed and mad at myself. I let something go on one of my volunteer positions. So now we don't have a speaker for our meeting and I'm embarrassed and stressed about it. I don't have an excuse and I didn't offer one. I could feel the flop sweat drip down my forehead as I had to admit it at the executive committee meeting. I just wanted to fake my own death. Honestly, it brought back a lot of feelings that I hadn't felt for a while. In my last job I used to feel a day late and a dollar short all too frequently. Anyway I'm trying to stop the self-loathing. What a terrible feeling.

I am taking a fun class at the adult education center tomorrow.

Ok so what are you doing today? I hope that SubC continues to bask in her accomplishments and I hope CMs plumbing troubles are far behind her. Great work on the receipts!!!I got my window grates back up! I had our managemt company intervene. It's a longer story but the end result is I'm happy. I just wish they'd take the scaffolding down. The work is complete.

Sending extra love to Tillie.

Sending you love and strength Tillie. I am so very, very sorry. We will be here when you come back. I'm heartbroken too.

Tillie,

I don't know when you will see this, but I am so very sorry.

I wish some of us were there to hold your hand through this.

Know you are in our hearts.

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Subclinical :)
WTG! getting things off the floor and opening up space! :D
So glad your Mom was there to help and share in the excitement of the completion of this project.
Been a long time but your dolls are on the shelf! :D

Hi CriticalMass :)
WAY TO GO! getting to those receipts!
Hope you get the time to visit storage during good weather.
I know once you get there and open the door all procrastination will vanish.
You'll get things moved out of the way and get started putting books on the shelves.
You CAN do this! (((hug)))

Doing more laundry today.
Plan to do a little, very little, straightening outside.
Still have some Summer stuff to put away or just tidy up.
Need to get used to the colder weather and also need to quit wearing summertime dresses daily.
But mentally/emotionally I am not ready yet to start wearing jeans & shoes.

CM,
Slay those reciepts!
go and sing!

I am imagining you putting all your books on shelves - it will be so nice! I am loving my new doll shelf (my mom kept saying "your grandmother would love this", which was happy-sad.) and having more room to move and sort in my basement. We bought all the boxes of photos and scrapbooks and old "schoolwork" (my kids were homeschooled, so schoolwork was often very creative and individual, not worksheets) up to Dd2s empty closet so I can hopefully work on them this winter, and opened up enough space for six bins to go on the rack instead of the floor.

Tillie i'm Glad you had a productive day. And also that you got rest yesterday.

Tatoulia, how did the dr go for your mom?

Drive by - at the library

Tatoulia, still pulling for you for things work out with your mom and brother situations. You're doing all the right things.

Repairs at the house happened some yesterday, were supposed to happen today but didn't, and beyond that I don't know. Tomorrow was supposed to be the day for maintenance on my new van, but maybe that will get pushed back if he can do the plumbing.

Every day is a surprise! :D

I did do some more receipts - the bag of crumpled ones is getting fuller! It goes pretty quickly.

This week's nice weather says "Go work in the storage unit!" and I hope repairs don't put the kibosh on that. I'll admit, too, that I'm a little nervous. I remember when the big thing was moving from a storage unit far away to this one nearby - and I know recently I looked and it wasn't as scary as I'd feared - yet, I feel a tug to procrastinate.

I'm going to kick my butt (gently) and do it anyway. The nervousness is partly because working over there has been delayed so much that I don't know how bad it'll be, and because it got cluttery again - but it's not a Hoard of Horror either. I can do this!

Getting the books neatly on shelves is my #1 goal, since that is the thing that would've been so cool to have been able to do when I moved to this closer unit, but it would've taken too much time. I just had to get the stuff moved. The result was a logjam of books that actually block access to . . . empty bookshelves! Oh, the irony. So I just must shuffle till the empty shelves become accessible, and then it should be downhill, smooth sailing, etc.

Need TUNES. Either my tablet with MP3s or I can just sing as I sort! LOL! The old storage unit was in a long line of them so I was alone a lot and I could sing (or, on occasion, cuss - like when a stack toppled) with no close proximity to other people. This location is slightly less private, but I may not let that bother me. ABBA songs are great for this sort of thing - I am the "Decluttering Queen"! LOLOLOLOL!!!

Hello :)

Been busy this morning!
Got a lot of things done and it's just now 1:00pm.
Ate lunch and am taking a break.
:)

Hi Tatoulia :)
I'm glad she sees her Dr. tomorrow.
And I'm happy she spoke with you about this. :)
Open communication solves so many concerns & worries.

So many times I have heard that we can/will lose our sense of smell just because we get older, goes along with losing our sense of taste, hearing and eye sight, you know, the usual pleasure and joys of growing older. ;D lol

YEA! for a NEW kitty blanket!
How wonderful to be snuggled in a blanket by the fire.

WTG! for cooking, dishes, laundry & trash out!

It is wonderful to see all the wildlife out here.
I live in the flight path of migratory birds of all sorts of species.
Yesterday I swear there were over 100 Canadian Snow Geese swarming the area!
So loud with all of them honking & squeaking and flitting around.
Scooter was so scared and yet fascinated by it all.

Today I have pretty much done a whole lot of nothing.
But that's OK.
I needed the rest. ;)

Mom called me tonight. She said she has dr tomorrow and she needs to shower. I was able to ask her if she's afraid she'll panic because I don't mind coming over and playing with the cat. She said she was fine. She was worried it was a diaper smell but I said no, you just need to shower. And that I understood how tired she is. So hopefully she'll shower tonight.

Thank you for helping me with all of this.

I cleaned up kitchen after cooking and I also changed my sheets, ran a few loads of laundry and I am running dishwasher now. Recycling and trash are out. I walked up to see BF for a minute or two.

Kitty has her new blanket (not the one to match my home, this is one I got at work). We had some contest and I think I was the only one who chose the company/branded cat blanket. (They advertised it as s blanket. ?Cat' was implied). I've been saving it and she's all snuggled into it. I had the fire on earlier with the heat so you can bet she was cozy.

Tillie I didn't mention the antelopes or the buffalo or the cows. My goodness I would love to live like that. How absolutely wonderful (and in the case of the large buffalo, scary).

Thanks for the support on sibling. I feel terrible for him. He believes it. And I feel terrible.

Hi Tatoulia :)
I figured you had to "pussy-foot" around the subject.
But with you silently observing her behavior I'm sure you might be able to figure out the problem.
(((HUG)))

So happy you have been able to divorce yourself from your brother and his abuse.
The insanity is tragic and sad but he could be better if he would listen to his doctors and take his meds.
Nothing you can do about that.

I guess the grates will be the last part of this project after they finish up all the hard dirty work.
Soon, soon it will all be over with and everything will look so pretty. ;)


Done a little of this & that today.
Washed my hair. ;D
Will do lots of laundry the rest of the week when it's warmer, but not today.
Also need to get the hoses out in the sunshine so they warm up and are not too stiff to roll up to put away.
No rain in the future predictions, just cold and a little less cold.

Tillie that is very insightful. I'll have to keep an eye out and maybe next time she's says she's going to shower, I can offer to go over and sit there. I know she has an easy access shower with a chair and appropriate handrails, etc. but the panic attacks may be weighing heavily on her. I can't bring it up because she was deeply offended when I mentioned the stench (no I didn't say stench).

I stopped by today because when I cooked my lunch I made a separate dish for her for dinner. Just raviolis and sauce. I made hers separately because I use artichoke hearts in my sauce and I'm not sure if artichokes conflict with her meds. I picked up my blanket. I didn't notice if she'd showered and I wasn't close enough to know.

My brother stopped by to see her this AM and said he needs plane fare to go to CA to pick up a settlement of $11 million. He's so crazy. He believes that Hollywood has been persecuting him (and based on some of the crappy TV shows on, I do feel his pain) and that they are finally going to pay him for ruining his view, stalking him, etc. it's so terrible. And it made me so happy that he isn't around to threaten me until I give him the $$. My mother has absolutely no $. None. So there's no fear there. I pay for everything for her but her phone. She pays for that most of the time.

One of the first things BF said when the final incident happened was: what does he want now? And I was puzzled, and he said, last time it was a TV stand and before that a leather couch and before that.,.. all of which I bought for him, by the way. I anyway, I told him it was the Hollywood thing and that I wasn't taking him seriously, wouldn't find him a lawyer, wouldn't go to the FBI, etc. am so so so so so glad that I'm not having him threaten me for plane fare. I'm emotionally separated from him as well as physically separated.

I do wish the contractors would finish putting the grates in my windows. I'm okay for now since the windows are part of my alarm system, but I really want them back on.

Ok thank you for shoring me up.

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Subclinical :)

YEA!!! WHOOPIE!!!
So happy your doll collection is all unpacked and nicely displayed!
HAPPY DANCE! :D

WAY TO GO! Mom for continuing the clearing too!

YEA! for also finding some things new homes and getting recycling together.
Your home is coming along beautifully. ;D

Hi Tatoulia :)
About Mom...
My first thought is maybe she is concerned/worried about that little hospital scare she recently had and is afraid of having another panic attack.
Panic attacks are so terrifying that they paralyze people at times.
See if there is anything about the bathing situation/ritual that concerns her.
Like being in the enclosed space or being discovered totally disrobed.
Maybe she just needs someone sitting nearby to help reassure her while she showers?
If she is still not washing or maybe neglecting other areas I would have her checked out by her doctor to rule out any kind of low grade infections, like perhaps a urinary tract infection.
Those things happen frequently and sneakily and have a way of making the person lax in their hygiene.
(((HUGS)))

Extremely cold morning but it is expected to warm up a little later this week.
Planning to stay inside all I can today.
Plenty of things I can do in here and not all of them chores or cat related tasks. ;D

GREAT JOB CM on the receipts! They get ahead of me too! And end up in bags or envelopes and other places. I find putting music on makes a big difference! Thank you for the thoughtful insights into mom and mental illness. You gave me some thoughts I can draw upon to stay strong.

WOW SubC! Your mom is so great! Look at her, helping and supporting and bring a great mom! And look at you! All. Ready with the shelving and finding things you can let go of! Hard work!

Tillie! I am slowly winterizing my bed, so to speak. I have a layer I need to add now but it's at mom's and needs to be washed. I'd brought a blanket to her when I had her comforter and duvet to wash. By bringing her a blanket, I didn't have to wash and return on the same day. Now I'm going to need to add my blanket to the rotation. I just add layers as the winter goes on!

Difficult time with mom yesterday. I took her out for a ride and groceries and she had terrible BO and I couldn't breathe. She hadn't showered or washed her hair at least since Wednesday, maybe longer. And she had wet her hair for some odd reason. She was a terrible mess. I made a hair appt for her on the 24th and I'm going to see if she continues to bathe infrequently, then I'll have to talk to her about getting someone in. This isn't like her and honestly it was terrible. I had to take a shower when I got home since I felt stinky by association. If need be, I'll have the hairdresser down the street wash and dry her hair once a week. And hope that she starts bathing again.

Popping in.

Mom brought me a box of books, a bookend, and four puppets.

We finished putting up the doll shelf and the dolls look great on it! So glad to have them unpacked! (There is one set of small china dolls still packed that go on a display shelf I haven't found a safe place for yet)

I have 5 empty bins!

Mom was so excited by the cleared space that she pushed me to keep working on the basement and almost half the floor is cleared on that side. I found three dolls and an art set that I am passing on to my nieces - mom will take them at thanksgiving - and two pretty boxes that are now mom's.

Many things just got cleaned up, but we also have a large recycling box and a small trash bag.

Dh and Dad put up the trim around my kitchen window and it looks really nice!

Today we are going into the city to do some shopping for dad, and then tomorrow they will go home.

CM, don't give up. I hope your fix it guy is back soon. Good luck with your receipts.

And Tillie, I hope you feel better today.

Tatoulia, i'm Sorry you had such a hard conversation with your mom. The therapist sounds like a good idea.

First frost expected here Wednesday night. Stay warm!